Client Interview: Does Mark's NLP Coaching Really Work?

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Welcome to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you tuning in. If you've been riding with me for a long time, smack yourself on the ass. You are a champion. If you're new to this show, what we do here is try to give you the best information in the quickest time possible because your time is very valuable and I always want to respect it.

0:38 So with that being said, what I have here today is an interview with one of my clients. Now, a lot of you guys are interested in doing one-on-one coaching with me, but you're asking yourself, what exactly does this sea donkey offer that I'd actually want to hire him for? Now, what I do is NLP dating coaching. So NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and essentially the foundational basis of it is is that we have programs inside our heads that are much like computer programs. And a lot of the times those computer programs aren't conducive to attracting women.

1:13 So what I do is I go in your head and I basically rewrite those computer programs by removing them and replacing them with programs that are a lot more conducive to attracting women. And I have with me today, my good buddy, one of my favorite clients, Al Bar. What is up, Al Bar? How are you doing, brother? I am doing well, sir. I am doing very well. Fantastic. Great to hear it, man. And Al Bar had amazing results with NLP. He got some great progress with it.

1:42 And what I wanted him to do is just kind of explain to you what his experience was. And really what I want to do here is show you what's possible with coaching. Now, it's really important to me that you guys get the best progress possible. And if I'm not the right coach for you, I totally understand. But I always suggest, and I suggest this to everybody, to always get coaching. I have business coaches. I have life coaches. I have NLP coaches. I had dating coaches. And I want you guys to start thinking that way because until you're making $200,000 to $250,000 a year, the money you have to invest, you should invest in yourself.

2:21 Now, Al Bar was really intelligent because he invested in himself. Now, I happen to be a good fit for him. I'm not saying I'm a good fit for everybody, but I was a good fit for him. So if you're contemplating getting coaching with me, what I want Al Bar to do, to help me do, is to kind of tell you what you can expect, tell you what his struggles were, and then what the results were, and what it meant for him to invest in himself the way that he did.

2:47 So Al Bar is down in Texas, and he had some issues with some internal programming. And I'm just going to kind of let Al Bar explain to you what his struggles were before our session. So, you know, just take a minute or two, Al Bar, to explain to our listeners what your struggles were and what it is exactly that you wanted to fix. Well, Mark, that list was pretty long. I mean, I had, as you remember, I went through a pretty rough stretch a couple of years ago.

3:20 I went through a divorce, was dealing with the financial situation that accompanied that divorce. I also, during that same period of time, lost my dad to a sudden bout with an aggressive form of cancer. And so during that whole time, I mean, my confidence was really shot. I just, you know, I was kind of living through this really scarcity mindset where I just had absolutely no confidence in what I was doing. And I needed something, a shot in the arm to kind of get me past all that.

4:01 And what was your situation with women? Oh, man, not very well at all. As I made mention, I kind of had this mindset of scarcity. And so, I mean, I had this huge fear of approaching women. I had this huge fear that, you know, I didn't have any, I didn't bring anything of value. I didn't bring anything, you know, that they would want to invest in. And I just, again, like I just had this really deep mindset of just scarcity. And in our first session together, we did an NLP process called timeline therapy.

4:39 Now, timeline therapy is really used to remove some scarcity type mindsets. And I remember specifically, I have it written down here, that you had a mindset of I'm not good enough. And it felt like a grip in your chest. So, what we did is we walked you through that NLP process. And it's interesting because when doing the NLP process, which guys, it's basically like a visualization. So, I have you visualize certain things, put you in a very mild state of hypnosis. And when I say that is, I just get you very relaxed.

5:11 And you kind of feel like you're drifting off to sleep a little bit or like you're watching a movie. You're a little bit in that state of like ketosis or the way you feel when you're really engrossed in like a television show. So, immediately when I was working with Albar, I could hear his voice change. And that's always when I know it's going to be really effective is I can hear it in your breathing. I can hear it in your voice. And Albar, why don't you tell them a little bit about your experience with our first NLP session together?

5:39 Oh, man. Yeah. I remember that session because I was taking off a little bit of time to do our session. Then I was going to go back to work. And I actually had to take a little bit of time to kind of freshen up. I mean, I was drenched in sweat at the end. I mean, the visualization that you put together was just really, really intense. And, you know, going back through that timeline and just visualizing all the things in my past and just reorganizing those thoughts and the definitions behind those situations was just really, really, really powerful.

6:22 It was just really intense. I remember afterwards you were like, man, I'm sweating right now, man. I got to I got to go take a shower after that one. And we were kind of laughing together. But really, we removed that belief system of I'm not good enough. And we replaced it with the belief system that, you know what, I am good enough. So what changes did you notice after that first session? Well, immediately, like I noticed this huge boost of confidence, noticed it most of all was just in my posture.

6:52 Like all of a sudden I had this feeling of expansion where like before I kind of lived like more like a contracted state. When I was a kid, as you were aware of, I was picked on quite a bit. I was bullied for being overweight. And so for me, kind of being in that small frame and that small body contour kind of made it a little bit easier to maneuver through all that. So that's kind of what I stayed with in life, that kind of contracted state of being.

7:24 But like right after that first session, I just feel I felt like my shoulders, you know, dropped and expanded outwards and my chest started to really open up. And I just felt a lot more confidence in myself. Did you notice any differences with women at all reacting to you or even just people at your work, et cetera, reacting to you differently? Well, yeah, you know, initiating conversations became a lot easier as, you know, a couple of instances. Just, you know, going to a grocery store or even walking just down the block where I would encounter different women and just started engaging in conversations with them where before I would hesitate.

8:07 Because, you know, again, I just kind of had this mindset of scarcity where I just didn't think that I had anything worth saying that they'd want to talk about. And I think that's an issue that a lot of guys go through. They feel that women are scarce, they're not enough, they don't have a lot to offer a woman. And when a woman finally shows some interest in them, it's something really scarce that they have to hold on to. Like you have a cup of water and you're in the middle of the desert and you have to be super careful with it.

8:36 But I think part of what we did together, and we did ongoing coaching for a couple of months, is we really replaced your scarcity mindset with the abundance mindset and that really got good results for you. So after that session, you know, I offer you the opportunity to work with me on an ongoing basis and we ended up doing a couple months together. Why did you choose to do the ongoing coaching? Obviously, it was because of the impact that I felt after that first session. I mean, you know, I'd filled out a small questionnaire with some, you know, questions about how I felt about myself.

9:14 And then you and I had about 30 minutes of discussion leading up to that session. And what you were able to extract from just that little bit of time and then just from that small questionnaire to be able to create that visual and to be able to lead me down that path through that session. And me feeling the way that I did afterwards, I was like, how can I not do this, you know, continue to do this? If I felt this good after one session, how would I feel for a couple of months?

9:45 And so that's why I jumped on board. Yeah, man. And like I said, you were definitely one of my favorite clients. And even in your voice now, you know, we're doing a podcast. There's a lot of guys listening to it. I know that when we first started working together, just the tonality difference in your voice, you would not be nearly as comfortable as you are now. So I think you got really good results with it. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, night and day. Absolutely. Awesome.

10:15 So with Albar guys, like a lot of you guys, he had some traumas going on in his past. And it was really sad, man. Like sometimes I hear your guys' stories and I just like I kind of want to tear up a little bit. And I know that sounds effeminate, but I just have a lot of compassion in my heart for clients. And a lot of us have been through some shit, man. And, you know, with me, it was my dad dying when I was 10 and had some trauma with doctors and then the anxiety and wanting to kill myself and panic attacks and agoraphobia.

10:47 But with Albar, man, the kids were brutal to you because of your weight, right? You were an overweight kid and you had an incident that happened. And you don't have to discuss the incident here, but we did the trauma process on that incident. And guys, the trauma process is when you have a bad trauma as a kid or even more recently in your life, what we do is we remove the severity of that trauma so it no longer has such a deep influence on you, such a deep impact.

11:16 So we did the trauma process and just like your other NLP experiences, you know, it really affected you. Do you feel now that the severity of that trauma, you know, you know the story I'm talking about. Do you feel that that has been reduced in your life and it no longer has such a Vulcan grip over your state? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, that session took a lot of the sting out of that situation that occurred. And, you know, it helped to remove a lot of the limiting beliefs that were associated from, you know, a lot of the bullying, a lot of just the body shaming and stuff like that that I went through.

11:54 And, you know, I was able to remove a lot of those beliefs and narratives and, you know, during our coaching, we were able to replace a lot of those new directives and new narratives about who I really am and what I really have to offer. Yeah. So, guys, I want to let you know that that once again, you know, even if it's not through me, there's lots of different forms of therapy and coaching that you can do. But if you feel like you're relegated to your current state, that your traumas and the things that you learn from your parents, the programs that you have are permanent, it's bullshit.

12:29 It's not. You can completely change who you are, what you're about. And what happened for me, and I think what happens for a lot of clients and people who work on themselves, is you feel more like yourself than you ever have before. Or more accurately, you're born with perfect self-esteem, and then these traumas and bad programs get installed in you, and then it's like you're not the version of yourself that you should have been or you don't feel like yourself. And what happens is when we remove that stuff, when we rewrite it, when we delete it, then it's like, dude, you just feel like yourself again.

13:03 You just feel like you. And Alvar, how are you now compared to where you started? Do you feel more like yourself, this common experience that many guys get when they do this kind of work? Oh, absolutely. I mean, it's like I mentioned before. I mean, it's night and day from where I was when I first sought you out. I mean, just the fact that I'm actually doing this is a testament to the work that we did. Because there is no way that I would have gone outside of my comfort zone to put myself out like this and to do something that, you know, to put myself out of that level of comfort.

13:39 Absolutely. And I loved it too, dude. When I asked him, I said, yo, Alvar, would you be down to do a podcast with me? And he's like, man, that scares me. So, yeah, I want to do it. And I was like, fuck yeah, dude. That's the right attitude is the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. So when we get done today, it's like a big pat on the back from me to you and most importantly from you to yourself saying like, dude, I did something I would have never done before.

14:05 Something I was afraid of and I did it confidently and I looked fear in the eye and I entered that cave to get the treasure that I seek and the social pressure that we're both feeling by being on a podcast like this one. So I'm glad you got those kind of changes. I'm glad you got those kind of changes. So I kind of want you to talk to our listeners and let them know, you know, what they can benefit from by fixing the BS in their brains and kind of give them some hope and some direction.

14:36 And once again, bro, it's like, yeah, of course, I want more clients and I love guys that listen to the UMP. I love working with you guys, want to meet every single one of you. But really, like honestly, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, it doesn't have to be coaching through me. It could be any kind of coaching, any kind of cognitive behavioral therapy, whether it's NLP or going to a psychiatrist or whatever it is that fits you. But Albar, talk to them a little bit about why they should do this to improve themselves and what they can expect to get from it.

15:08 Well, during that first session, you asked me, you know, why I sought you out and plain and simple, I was tired. I was tired of living my life the way that it had unfolded. I was tired of not having that confidence in myself. And I think the exact words that I used during that session were, you know, for 40 plus years of my life, I felt like I had lived in the cell, the cell that had no windows, no bars and no door. It was a cell of my own limiting beliefs and my own narratives.

15:46 And I was tired of living in that. I was tired of not having the confidence to go up to, you know, the cute girl there at the bar and wanting to talk to her. I was tired of not being able to establish a boundary in a relationship that I was in or not being or just not having the confidence to say what was on my mind at the time when I should have been able to say it. And I was just tired of living that way.

16:14 So what if there's a guy listening right now who's also tired in that way and he feels like he's in a cell, he's not completely himself, what would be a good first step for him to do? In addition to listening to podcasts and audiobooks, what would you suggest he does? Oh, well, definitely that first step, reach out. I mean, take that initiative to seek help. Take that initiative to go against that resistance you're going to feel. Because I felt good. I mean, I listened to, I want to say the very first podcast that I heard your work on was the Dear Men podcast where you were being interviewed.

16:55 And I listened to, and you had to say, man, I was like, man, this sounds amazing. It sounds like I could really benefit from this. And then it led me to the UMP. And then I heard some of your other podcasts there. And it really just, like, it really, really psyched me up. And I was, like, ready to go. And I got on the contact page, and I was going to reach out and send an email. And then the resistance boiled up. And it came to the surface.

17:24 And then there was excuses. Well, maybe, you know, I should just try this or try that. Bullshit. Take that step and reach out. Work with somebody that can help initiate that change. Because it's hard. It's hard to do it on your own. And when you have someone that can guide you and someone that can direct you, making those changes becomes a whole lot easier. So take that first step. Didn't you tell me that you were, like, nervous on our first call or something? That surprised me because I didn't pick that up at all.

17:56 What was that about? Oh, yeah. I mean, like, listening to, you know, just you and your confidence and your bravado on that interview and then listening to that on your podcast, I mean, I felt, like, worlds apart from that. And it just, it was this feeling of just discomfort because associating with somebody that was, like, that polar opposite of who I was and what I felt at the time, it was very intimidating. But, man, I am so glad that I opted to reach out and get started.

18:30 It absolutely was a huge shift. Man, I'm so glad you did, too, bro. I really appreciated our time together. You know, that's interesting that guys might be intimidated in that way. Once you got to know me and work with me, did you feel like more I was on your level or did you continue to feel that intimidation by my, quote, unquote, bravado? Or did you feel like I was just a normal dude like you who's simply been through the processes already? And rather than being the end-all answer, I was more like a street sign pointing you to the answer.

19:05 Oh, yeah. I mean, just that very first session where we started talking, like, at the beginning, we were just establishing a rapport. I mean, you laid out some vulnerabilities out to me, you know, about a lot of the stuff that you had gone through. And just listening to that, all of a sudden, it just, yeah, like you mentioned, it just brought me to that level with where we were looking at each other eye to eye and just having this conversation of, like, this is a dude.

19:29 This is a dude that went through the shit. And now he's speaking from experience. And, like, I can relate to that. Like, he went through a lot of the same, you know, instances where, you know, he dealt with some trauma and dealt with some really bad situations. But he went through it, and now he came out on the other end. And it really motivated me that, you know, hey, this is one guy. He did it. I can do it, too. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And if you got to know me in person, you'd be like, man, this guy is the biggest jackass ever.

20:01 Like, I'm no, like, superhero, right? But it's just because I'm like you guys. I'm just super into self-development, constantly working on myself, constantly hiring coaches. And, I mean, we're all just dudes. We're all just human beings. And, you know, the guy who works on himself a lot gets to experience those positives and those changes. But, ultimately, you know, I'm no better than you guys in any way whatsoever. In fact, in a lot of ways, I struggle more than you do. So, you know, if you're interested in doing some coaching with me, hit me up.

20:33 You can look at my website. It's coachmarksing.com, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com. There's also a link in the description below. And even if you just want to reach out for some questions, kind of get to know me a little bit, that's absolutely fine. But we'll do the first session, see how it goes, see if we're a good fit for one another. And I always, even if we don't work together, what I do is I always try to lay out a blueprint, a roadmap for you to achieve your results, even if it means not working with me.

21:03 Like, it's no big deal. I'm not a high-pressure sales guy whatsoever. I only want to work with guys who I'm a good fit for. And I genuinely, genuinely want to help you guys. And I think Albar is a testament to that, that, you know, I'm just a down-to-earth dude who just really wants to help. And Albar, I really appreciate you coming on today. You are a fucking champion like no other. I'm so happy you've gotten this success and so happy you had those changes because I know you were really struggling.

21:32 So thanks again, brother. You know, I really appreciate you, man. It was my absolute pleasure. And I appreciate the work that I was able to do with you, man. You were amazing and work with us. Fantastic. So I appreciate you. Hey, thank you so much, man. So, guys, hit me up if you're interested. And I'll be continuing to bring the good information on Friday. I got a really good podcast coming up. So continue to check back for that. And I look forward to meeting you guys.

21:58 I look forward to working with you. And I want to let you know that no matter how low you are, no matter how much you think that you're in a permanent situation of suffering and dismal results, it's not true. You can change. You can grow. You can become the man that you were supposed to be. All right, guys. Thank you again for listening. And I'll see you in the next episode. All right, Alvar. Good job, brother. Thanks, bro. Yeah, you were fucking phenomenal, dude. Like, I was like, hey, don't be nervous.

22:43 You're like, whatever. I talk in front of crowds all the time, dude. No big deal. No, man. That was a lot of fun. It was, yeah, at the beginning I got a little nervous. But, man, once I just started talking away, I just felt a lot more comfortable. And just, it was just like we were just having a conversation. Yeah. We were just two dudes. Dude, listen to your voice. Like, I'm going to publish this tomorrow morning, just FYI. Listen to your voice. It's changed so much.

23:08 Like, if you compare your voice of the podcast to your first session, freaking night and day difference, man. You've come so far. Well, I was, I went back and I was listening to them. Like, again, like, I went through there and I was, yeah, I was listening to that first session. And, yeah, I mean, it's just night and day. Yeah. It is, you know, I know I've said night and day so many times, but it's exactly how I see it.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.