FBI Negotiation Master Training Part 2 (Become a Master Closer)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode. And this one is part two of a two-part series called FBI Negotiation Master Training. If you haven't heard part one, that's fine. They're not sequential. So you can listen to this first, then go back and check that one out, which I would highly suggest because that one had some awesome information in it, as does this one.

0:40 And in this one, we're going to talk a lot about like negotiating pricing on something you're trying to buy or even selling something. Before we jump into the content, I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for all the awesome testimonials and reviews that you're leaving. We're getting tons of reviews. We're up to 77 reviews, trying to get to 100. So if you could please leave me a review on any platform that you're listening to this on and email me at coachmarksing.com. That's M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com.

1:10 I will send you the conversation sniper, guide to the female orgasm, three texts that build massive attraction in women, as well as a couple of videos. I'm just going to decimate you with freaking content and you're going to get so many dates, you won't know what the hell to do with yourself. So once again, that's coachmarksing at gmail.com. And by the way, all you guys who have been leaving reviews, I see every single one of those. I read them all and I look at your name and I read it and I send you a thank you from me to you wherever you are in the world.

1:39 But thank you so much. All the support. I read every single one. You know, I'm super happy about them. So thank you so much for that, you guys. I do appreciate it. All right, well, let's jump into the content. And since the negotiation part is, in my opinion, the coolest part of this, let's start with that. What do you say? All right, so in the book, and the book is called Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, V-O-S-S. I highly suggest it. But if you want to get the notes for this, go ahead and email me as well at coachmarksing at gmail.com.

2:10 Especially the negotiation stuff, it's kind of like specific what you have to say. And it may be difficult for you to remember just from this podcast. So if you're serious about this and like you're going to buy a car or even a house or whatever, and you want to get this in your back pocket, hit me up. I'll send you the notes for this. Check this out. Chris was telling the story about how he bought a 4Runner, Toyota 4Runner. And it was $36,000 sticker and he got it for 30 grand.

2:38 So he got it for 6 grand less than asking price. Bro, I just bought a Toyota 4Runner a couple years ago too. I paid full price for the thing. Like I didn't even really know you could negotiate, especially 6 grand. I mean, what are the markups that they do? Like how much do the dealers buy this from the manufacturer? That's what I'm wondering. But now that I know about this, what I'm going to do the next time I buy a car is I'm going to use this exact method or the second method I'm going to explain, which I think is actually a little bit better.

3:08 But the book is called Never Split the Difference. Okay. And what that means is don't negotiate in a way where you set a price and then you start coming up. Now in this one, he sets the $30,000 price and he just sticks with it. So let's go through the script and I'll show you everything that was said and how he got his price. And then what we'll do is go through why it worked with all the psychology and everything like that. Okay. So first of all, the salesman comes in and says, yeah, you know, the sticker price on this is $36,000.

3:39 And Chris says, I can pay $30,000 and I can put it all up front. I'll write a check for the full amount right now. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I just can't pay any more than that. The salesman says, look, I'm sure you can understand. We can't do that. You know, the sticker is $36,000. Then Chris says, how am I supposed to do that? Silence. Okay. Waits for the salesman to come in and that's important. We're going to talk about that. Salesman says, well, you know, I'm sure we can finance the $6,000.

4:08 You pay $30,000. We'll finance the rest. How's that sound? Well, Chris says, you know, it's a beautiful truck, but I'm sorry. I'm a little bit embarrassed right now, but I just can't do that price. Then he goes silent. Okay. He holds the frame. Having a strong frame is important here. Okay. So any response that isn't an outright rejection of your offer means that you have the edge and they're thinking about it. So the salesman does the old dance where he goes and talks to his manager, right?

4:34 And so he comes back and he says, I spoke to my boss and we can do $34,000. Okay. Already he's talked him down $2,000. That was a $2,000 lesson we just learned. So hit me up for those damn notes, man. Cause you could really use this. All right. So then Chris says, wow, your offer is really generous because this is the car of my dreams. I really wish I could do that. I really do. This is so embarrassing. I simply can't. Then the salesman goes back to his manager because Chris stayed silent after he said that.

5:06 And he says, you win. My manager okayed $32,500. All right. So how much has he gone down now? He's gone down $3,500. Okay. So Chris says, wow, I'm so grateful. You've been more than generous and I can't thank you enough, but I'm sorry. I just can't do that. Then the salesman goes back to his manager, comes back and says, we can do that. We can do that price. Now you may be thinking like, how in the hell did that work? Right? First of all, Chris seemed to be differential.

5:35 And what I mean by differential is giving the other guy the power, but that's the point, isn't it? As we talked about in part one, you want to make your counterpart feel like he has the power and he's helping you by giving you the price that you want. Meanwhile, you're driving off the lot, paying $30,000 for a $36,000 car, laughing all the way to the bank. So if you have to give him the power, quote unquote, in order to get the deal that you want, it's the smart way to do it.

6:04 Wouldn't you agree? So first and foremost, you have to say no without saying no. Okay. And this is a very powerful negotiation technique where you say no in a different kind of way. So here's two examples. Your offer is very generous, but I'm sorry. It doesn't work for me. Okay. It doesn't work for me. That's like saying no, but you're not saying like, nope, I will not do that. Okay. Here's another one. The price you offer is very fair and I appreciate you taking the time to explain.

6:33 I really wish I could pay that amount, but given the current circumstances, I'm financially unable. Okay. So you're deferring once again, and you're even saying, Hey, I apologize, man. Like what you're doing is cool. You're being cool to me, but I just can't. I just don't have the financial ability to do it. Now, what is this guy thinking? He's like, Oh, this guy's cool. You know, he's trying to, he's trying to do his best. He's, he's apologizing that he doesn't have the money, but he just doesn't have it.

7:02 So what the fuck am I going to do? And then they want to help you. It almost puts like the negotiation in their lap to figure out a way to help you out. And then they feel like they're the ones in power. Okay. Now, one thing that he said in this whole thing was, how am I supposed to do that? Now that works back to what I was talking about, which is basically having him negotiate with himself. When you ask, how am I supposed to do that?

7:30 It's basically saying, can you, can you figure out my problem for me? And if you hold the frame, which is super important. And once again, don't get angry, don't get butthurt. Don't say, dude, how am I supposed to do that? No, you're saying in a way where it's like, you're asking for his help. And in so doing, it has a downward reflection at the end. How am I supposed to do that? Right. And he's like, Oh, um, well, all right, let me go talk to my manager.

7:55 And you hold the silence, put it in his lap. Okay. So that is an awesome freaking template that I'm going to deploy the next time I go buy a car or what I might do is deploy this next one. But before I do, I want to say a couple of things. First of all, if possible, when negotiating, don't name the price to start off with in the haggle. Okay. Haggling is you name the price. I name a price. Eventually we meet in the middle. Well, have the other person start and then just either refuse to budge and be willing to walk away.

8:31 That's the big thing. If you're going to bluff, you need to be willing to back up the bluff. Okay. So Chris said, dude, I'm paying 30 grand. That's all I'm paying. And he stuck with it emotionally. He didn't get emotional and say, Oh, I could put another thousand in. He didn't say yes. When the guy said 32, five, he said, I'm paying 30 grand or I walk away. When you're willing to do that, by the way, with a woman as well, when you're willing to walk away at any time, you have the power.

8:56 So I suggest for you guys who are learning how to get girls is don't be needy. Don't be clinging onto her, hoping that it works out. No matter what, there's plenty of fish in the sea. If you miss this bus, you'll just take the next one. Be willing to drop it at a moment's notice. That was always a big part of my success is I would be like, if it doesn't work for you, Hey, that's cool. But it's a deal breaker and, and she could, she could deal with that how she wants to.

9:23 Now, of course, there are certain ways to deploy this correctly. It can blow up in your face. I was actually looking at, um, Marnie's Facebook page. Marnie's my partner. And this guy like tried to pull that on a girl at the wrong time. He said, Hey, you know, if you're not interested in texting with me, then just let me know. It's no big deal. And she's like, you're a jerk. Goodbye. And I was like, Oh, like kind of the right concept, but wrong deployment of it.

9:45 You have to do it in a way where you're like not making a threat behind it. You're like, Hey, you know, if you show up late, that's cool. That's how you are. I'm just letting you know that being on time is really important to me. So I'm just letting you know, if that continues, it's going to be a deal breaker for me. And then it's either she leaves or now she's on time. And I'll tell you from my experience, most of the time she's on time.

10:08 All right. So let's talk a little bit about when you're selling something. Now, all of us have sold something on Craigslist before. I myself, I'm really into motorcycles and I typically buy used motorcycles and then I sell them a couple of years later. So right now I'm kind of in the market for an ATV and I know I have the edge because it's COVID and people need money. So if I'm going to go buy an ATV, I'm just going to show up with, you know, X many thousand less than what they're asking.

10:32 Stick to my guns, just like how Chris taught. And if I get the bike, fine. If I don't, that's fine too. Another one will come, man. Abundance mentality. Okay. But let's say you're selling something and you set the price and inevitably, right? Somebody low balls you. So you're selling your dirt bike. You set it for five grand. Somebody comes and says, Hey dude, will you take 4,200 for it? Basically what you just say is, I don't see how that would ever work. That's how you reply. You don't say no.

10:59 You say no in a roundabout way. I don't see how that ever worked. And that could literally be like a text. Or if it's in person, you just say that and you shut up. And then they come back and they say, well, how about 45? And you say, look, other bikes, which are not as in good condition as this one, which have more miles on it, are actually selling for more. So I don't see how I could ever do that. And then just keep doing that until he comes back up.

11:23 You're saying no without saying no. And I'm going to get into how to do that in just a minute, but there's an example of how to set the price, stick to it, stick to your cons, control the frame, don't get emotional, stay in your inner balance point, have an abundance mentality. Somebody else will come. I'm patient. Patience is huge in negotiation and you will get the price that you're asking. All right. Now there's something called the offer counteroffer method. And this is good to have the notes for because there's very specific numbers that you have to use.

11:55 So what you want to do is set your target price. Okay. So your goal, let's say you're buying a $36,000 car. And once again, you want to get it for 30,000. So same prices that I was talking about before cars, 36, you want to buy it for 30, but here's a different method. And this is pretty baller as well. Okay. So first and foremost, you want to set 65% of your target price. So if you're trying to buy a $36,000 car, you want to set 65% of that price, which would be 19,005. So you say to the salesman, I can pay 19,005.

12:29 Obviously he's going to laugh at you. If he laughs at you, you got to hold the frame, keep a straight face. Don't get buttered. Don't look away. Look him in the eyes. Okay. So what I'm saying here is he's selling it for 36 K you want it for 30 K. So first you're going to lowball the shit out of him at 65% of 30 K. Then you're going to come up to 85% of 30 K. Then 95% of 30 K. Then a hundred of 30 K. Okay. So those are the raises that you're going to do very tactically.

12:59 You set the price, 19,500. He laughs. He's like, there's no way. You know, we may be able to do 34. Then you say, okay, well, looking at my finances, I can, I guess I can come up to 25, five, which is 85% of where you want to land. Then he's like, what? He's like, no, it's not going to work for us. We can go to 33. Then you do some calculations. You really think about it. You say, I guess I can go to 28, five. Now that's 95% of the 30 K that you want to pay.

13:27 Then on the last one, you want to make it a very specific number. Okay. So you want to land at 30 K, but what's better is $30,452. Now, why do we do that? Because it looks like you're digging up every last chunk of change that you have to the point where you're like paying $352 rather than just like 30,000. So when people hear that you're giving $52, it's like you've declined to do Starbucks for the next six months. So you could afford 52 more dollars of payment towards this. And they feel like you're at your limit.

14:01 So this is called the offer counter offer method. And if you want my notes on this, hit me up. That's why I'm saying it's probably better to have the notes for this. Cause it's like a lot of shit to remember. But once you've arrived at your non round number, what you then want to do is possibly throw in a non-monetary item to show you're at your limit. So if you're at a car dealer and you're doing this move, then you say, listen, I'll leave you a glowing review.

14:25 I'll state your name specifically. I'll tell my friends about you. So you're saying like $30,152 is your limit. You can't go up any more than that. But you and I both know you probably could, but that's the game here. So once again, you go 65% of the price that you want to pay up to 85%, up to 95%, then finally at a hundred. And that a hundred percent price should be some weird number. That's like totally arbitrary. And that's the way you can get a deal. Now, Chris was talking about his book, how one of his students negotiated his rent this way.

15:00 When the landlord was trying to raise his rent, he went in and use this exact strategy and was able to get his rent lowered somehow. So the landlord's like trying to raise the rent. He got it lowered through this method. So while it may seem whatever to you, I don't know what you're thinking about it, but while it may seem that way to you, this shit works. It's being taught by an FBI negotiation master trainer. So we should probably listen. All right. Now, remember how I was talking about that phrase, how am I supposed to do that?

15:34 Well, in the beginning of the book, he talks about negotiating with a Harvard professional negotiator. And the negotiator gets him in a room and jokingly says, Chris, I've got your son. I want a million dollars for him or he's going to die. And Chris's first reply was, how am I supposed to know he's alive? And that was able to stomp the guy to where eventually after using these calibrated questions, which is what these are called, they start with who, what, where, when, and how. For example, how am I supposed to do that?

16:08 How do I know that he's alive? How do I know that you're going to actually release him? See, what you're doing is you're getting the people to scramble and figure out how to explain to you proof of life, how he's going to be released and all these things. And I guess what it does is it makes them exhausted and then it makes them give over concessions a lot easier. So here are some other ones that I think are awesome for negotiations. Okay, what about this works for you?

16:36 What about this doesn't work for you? How would you like to move forward? So I know a lot of you guys who listen to this are salesmen and you're going to get the old, oh, I have to think about it. Well, a great question at that point is, what about this doesn't work for you? Or how would you like to move forward? How would you prefer to move forward with this, right? Then suddenly they're figuring out your problem, which is they have to work out the answer to the problem.

17:04 They have to come up with the solution to the issue. And then you as the salesman get to close them because they're figuring out how to close themselves. And that's really why this works. Okay, what is the biggest challenge you face is a good one. Now, here's a good one when you're in business as a company to convince somebody to change over to your business. So let's say you're trying to close somebody on switching over from some other vendor to you. You could say, why would your company change from a longstanding vendor to our company?

17:35 Now, what this does is it makes the prospect explain why he would go with you over the other choices, thus essentially selling himself. Okay, why don't you try something different from the way you've always done things and try my approach? How does this look to you? What about this works for you? What about this doesn't work for you? Once again, that's awesome for when they do the old, oh, I got to think about it method. What about this is important to you? How can I make this better for you?

18:05 How would you like me to proceed? What is it that brought us into this situation? How can we solve this problem? What's the objective? What are we trying to solve here? What do you hope to accomplish by leaving? Okay, so this was something a doctor used on a patient who was trying to leave the hospital and the doctor didn't want him to leave. So he just asked him, what do you hope to accomplish by leaving? So to reiterate briefly on this section is the secret of negotiating is to give the other side the illusion that they are in control.

18:39 And these calibrated questions, which start off with who, what, where, when, how, basically make it so that they have to solve the problem for you. And thus it constrains them, essentially makes them bargain against themselves. All right, moving on to the next section is what's called an accusation audit. So when you start off a negotiation by labeling all the bad things that your counterpart could think about your actions is very effective, or even labeling what their argument would be against your argument. Lawyers do this all the time when they open up, you know, their case.

19:12 They say, okay, here's the holes in our case. This is what the defense or the prosecution is going to say. And just to let you know, we know what they're going to say. So when you put out on the table all the bad things and holes in your argument, it almost takes the power away from the other person, doesn't it? Because you're basically telling them what they'd say. It's kind of like, dude, I just thought of this. It's kind of like that old Eminem thing. So remember that movie, I think it was Nine Mile or something, Eight Mile?

19:39 Well, anyway, when Eminem was rapping against the guy, what he did is an accusation audit. Dude, this is so sick. I just realized this. He told the other guy what he's going to say about him. He's like, oh, you got a goofy face. You're a white boy. You're a piece of shit. And he like basically took all the wind out of this guy's sail. And then when it was his turn, he couldn't say anything. And that's why it works so well in negotiations. Dude, that's sick.

20:01 I just realized that. Okay, so some statements you could say there is it seems justified that you think that I was apathetic to your situation. This would be great to say to a girl when she's mad at you. You know, it seems justified that you think I was apathetic to your situation. Then also asking them what else they might think about the situation to get further insights into their perspective. You can also use mirroring at the back of the thing that they say to communicate empathy and a sincere attempt to understand their perspective.

20:30 In my previous episode, I talked about labeling, which is it seems like, it feels like, it looks like, etc. Now, this is part of doing an accusation audit, right? It seems like you think we are the big bad contractor who's trying to cut out the little guy, right? And what you're doing is you're accusing yourself and then saying it seems like that's what you think. And then that, again, takes all the wind out of their sail and they get empathy because of it. Okay, so mirroring.

20:57 And I mentioned this in some previous podcasts, but it's so good it warrants repeating. Is you mirror or you repeat back the last one to three words that the person says. Now, Chris Voss says that this is so simple, but he says it's basically a Jedi mind trick. So in the book, he was in a hostage negotiation situation where they robbed a bank and they had some tellers that were hostages. Well, the guy on the phone, the bad guy said, my getaway driver got out before you guys got here.

21:28 And the negotiator on the phone said, getaway driver? He said, yeah, you know, my friend was going to drive us away and he left before you guys came. Your friend? Yeah, and he just kept digging himself into the hole because he would just mirror back some of the key words that the guy would say. And when you do this, people go deeper and deeper and deeper. And I'll tell you, it's awesome to do with girls because they feel like they're truly understood by you, right? She's talking about her day.

21:56 You mirror back some of the important words and what she just said. She goes deeper into it. You mirror back again. She goes deeper into it again. I do this all the time on Marissa and she doesn't really notice it. And frankly, it's not manipulative. It's showing that I'm truly listening. It is, in fact, a compassionate way of listening because it's showing I'm interested to learn more. She goes deeper and deeper and that's how people like to be listened to. They want you to shut up and listen to what I have to say and go into it more and more.

22:25 The more details you say, the more they feel they're listened to, the more rapport is built, and then the better result you can get from the negotiation. All right, to round out this episode, I want to give you a few bonus points, some individual points that I think are really cool. The word why generally pisses people off. So, for example, you wouldn't say, why did you do it? Why did you do that? But instead, what caused you to do it? On this note, when accusing somebody of something that they did, like they made a mistake, okay?

22:56 For example, I like two of my bottles to be put into the freezer every morning, my protein shake and my pre-workout drink. Because I like them to be really icy and I like to chew on the ice when I'm working out. And then my protein shake, I like that fucker cold. Well, a certain somebody forgot to put them in the freezer this morning. She wakes up way before I do. She puts them in the freezer. By the time I get up and I'm ready for my workout, they're all but frozen.

23:20 I break them up. I go work out. I got my ice. Well, she forgot. Well, here's the thing. If I said, hey, why didn't you put my bottles in the freezer? That would seem really accusational, wouldn't it? So instead, I said, hey, it looks like my bottles didn't make it into the freezer this morning. And she was like, oh, yeah, I totally forgot. Blah, blah, blah happened. And I was like, it's cool. Because honestly, she's doing me a favor. So can I get pissed off at her because she's doing me a favor?

23:43 No. So what the point is, is that you don't want to say you forgot to do this. You made this mistake. Hey, you forgot to pay me. Rather than, hey, it looks like the payment wasn't made. When you take you out of it and you make it just a general, it looks like this happened, people are going to be a lot less defensive and you're going to get a lot into a lot less fights. Here's a great interview question. If you guys are ever interviewing for a job, what does it take to be successful here?

24:14 What does it take to be successful here? That's going to make the hiring party so stoked because once again, it turns the spotlight on them. It's called the swiveling spotlight technique. What can I do to better your company? They're going to go on and on about it and then you can mirror. If he says, you know, we like workers to go above and beyond and do lots of extra duties and get creative. Get creative? Yeah. For example, if you were like working on something and you wanted to work on something outside of work that can contribute to the company, we would be thrilled with that.

24:43 See how that works is you mirror back to them while asking these questions that say, what can I do for you? Remember, people are always thinking what's in it for me. All right. Now here's an awesome email follow-up for when you're emailing with somebody, particularly in a business sense and they fall off the map is you say, have you given up on this project? Have you given up on this project? And Chris calls it the perfect email because it always gets a reply. So if somebody you're emailing with somebody about a business deal, let's say you're trying to sell them something or even with a girl, have you given up on this?

25:17 No, I wouldn't say that with a girl, but with a business thing, that would be awesome. Have you given up on this project? If you're negotiating something like that, keep that in your back pocket because it's really effective. Now, finally, if somebody is really low-balling you, putting the screws on you, seeming to really try to screw you in a business transaction, you can say, it seems like you don't care what position you're leaving me in. And then suddenly that's going to snap them out of it, realize what they're doing and be a lot more willing to give concessions.

25:47 All right, guys. So that's the gist of my notes for this book. I'm sure there's a lot that I missed. So if you're interested, it's called Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, V-O-S-S. And I also would appreciate it if you did follow me on Instagram, Coach Mark Singh on IG. I'd really appreciate it. I thank you guys very much for listening. I hope you got out of this content as much as I did. I can't wait to either negotiate something that I'm going to buy coming up or even selling something.

26:15 I'm definitely going to read over these notes, have them fresh on my mind when I'm negotiating and look it, we might even save ourselves $6,000 if we're buying a new car and at least that much if we're buying something even more expensive like real estate, which I certainly plan to do in the future. So thank you so much for listening. I do appreciate it. And I'll see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.