Female Psychology DEEP DIVE. 7 Things You Must Know About How Women Think

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Happy Thursday. I hope this week has treated you well. And this weekend on Saturday night, I am going to be at the Monster Energy Denver Supercross. I'm so excited, bro. I can't even tell you. I would love it if you guys would support Supercross. It's the most underrated, epic sport that's ever been created.

0:42 And I can't believe it hasn't gotten as big as things like F1 or NFL or Major League Baseball or for you English chaps, the Premier League. And for you Australians down there, rugby, it really needs to be more respected. By the way, for you Aussies out there, there's a guy named Jet Lawrence who's an Aussie and he's absolutely killing it in Monster Energy Supercross. He's going to be the next champion and he needs your support down there from Australia. But boys, I'm going to be in that stadium that's going to be absolutely apoplectic with pure enthusiasm from all the Colorado fans because the guy in the points lead right now for the 450 class, it's the premier class.

1:21 And this is dirt bike racing, what I'm talking about, by the way, you know, like jumping on dirt bikes, fucking roosting, going through berms, taking off off the start like a goddamn champion. This thing is so sick. But the points leader right now is Eli Tomac and he's from Colorado and I'm recording this a week and a half before the race. So I don't know exactly where the points will be, but he has a chance to button it up to win the title at the Denver Supercross.

1:46 And myself, as well as a bunch of my friends are going to be there, just absolutely supporting him. So I'd love it if you guys supported him too. And as you're watching that Supercross, be like, damn, Mark Singh is there, man. I wonder where he's sitting. And I have a guy who listens to the podcast who's highly plugged into the Supercross and he's going to get me VIP pit passes and get me introduced to some of the guys and stuff like that. So I'm so fired up and I want to support Supercross.

2:11 So check it out. You can watch it on Peacock or just even watch the highlights on YouTube. It's coming out on Saturday is the race. So just watch the highlights, man. Denver 2022 Supercross and hopefully Eli Tomac will win that race and take the title. I fucking love it. But today, boys, we're going to talk about a little bit of female psychology. And I'm doing this episode for two reasons. First of all, my client, Craig, who, by the way, is from Australia. Craig, what is up, my friend?

2:37 Told me a really interesting fact on one of our coaching calls the other day. And then I also got into a pretty deep conversation with my friend Ashley about some of these things. So I want to share this with you guys to kind of give you a better perspective on how women think, why they think that way, why they act in ways that a lot of you guys are think are crazy. And I kind of want to shed some light onto that female psychology. So as you deal with females moving forward, you can better react to the kinds of things that they do without getting butthurt about it or misunderstanding.

3:09 So the first thing that Craig told me, I found this so interesting, is he said he saw a study where a bunch of girls were asked, what would you do if every guy on the earth was gone? What if every single guy was just removed and there were no men? What would you do? And it would only be for like three days. Okay, so what would you do? And most of the girls said this, so interesting to me. They'd go on a walk at night. That's it.

3:34 They'd go on a walk in the evening. Now, this sheds a lot of light into the psychology and the predicament and the reality of being a woman, especially a really attractive woman, is us guys are way stronger than they are. And we can hurt them anytime we want to. So women always feel, in some sense, under threat by men. And they have to change their lives. They have to do certain things to avoid being hurt by men, such as not walking around at night. And part of that, I think, was taking a walk at night without, like, mace or they can dress whatever they want.

4:09 That's what it was. They can wear whatever they want. So as we look at women's predicament, we have to know that it's kind of like a bunch of guys trying to throw their dicks at them. And all these guys hitting them up, all these guys being thirsty, all these guys staring at them all the time. And in a lot of ways, they feel that threat. And some of you guys will tell me that, dude, I hate chicks, man. They always have, like, resting bitch face. They're always bitching to me when I go talk to them.

4:34 Well, guys, look at their reality, especially a hot girl. Guys are always trying to get in their underwear. They're always trying to manipulate them. They look at them like they're a piece of meat. And the worst is guys get nervous around chicks, and they can't even be fucking normal. Imagine that you're walking around, and every person you talk to who's of the other gender turns into a blumbering idiot. Okay? Literally every single person you talk to is an idiot. And then girls who you talk to who are of the same gender as you are kind of bitchy towards you just because you're so physically attractive.

5:07 So your entire reality is people want something from me. People are trying to probably hurt me and or take my sex. People are trying to manipulate me. People don't treat me the way they treat everybody else because I'm different. And people of the same gender of me are pissed off at me. They don't even know who I am, and they're pissed at me. And this is what Ashley was saying. She's like, this girl's, like, really fine, right? Ashley, don't let it get to your head, you fucking idiot.

5:33 She always listens. She's my friend. She knows I'm kidding. But anyway, so she's really hot. She knows it. And this is the way people act around her. They can't even maintain their own composure. But even with girls who are, let's say, eights or nines, those girls, too, experience all this stuff. They go to the gym, and guys just stare at their ass. They go into the supermarket, and a lot of guys are looking at them in a creepy way because they don't know how to go talk to them.

5:59 But they want to go talk to them, but they don't know how to do it, so they just stare at them very creepily. They've been stalked. They've been berated on social media platforms. They've had to change a lot of times their last name, their phone number, move houses because of dudes. So when I heard this thing that the first thing women would do would get dressed up in a yoga outfit and go walk around at night, it kind of made sense to me. But I also found it very interesting that that's what they would do.

6:26 So with female psychology, we have to first understand that they're under threat. And guys, we have to have compassion for them. We have to understand why they behave in the ways that they do. And when we go talk to them, it's going to take us a little bit of time probably to show them that we're not going to hurt them, we're not going to mug them, and we're not just trying to get into their underwear. But instead, we're genuinely interested to get to know them for them.

6:51 And as I always say, see if they're interesting, see if they have a good story, and for God's sakes, not yank their phone number or even ask for it until they've shown me that personality. So the way I teach my clients to approach women, to date women, to deal with women really takes this in mind, that women are constantly under threat. And the super hot ones, you almost have to show them that you're part of their crew, that you're in the know, that you have other hot friends, and you're kind of like in the cool crowd, as it were.

7:23 You don't necessarily have to be in the cool crowd, but you have to empathize with a really hot girl because, dude, her reality is completely different from yours, completely different. And a lot of you guys are angry at chicks, and you're like, yeah, man, she's got it so easy. Yeah, in some ways she does. You know, you look at a girl on Instagram who's waving her ass around and showing her tits, and you just think, man, in 30 years, where's this person going to be, right? She's not going to have her looks anymore, so what worth does she have?

7:51 Well, we don't know what worth she has, but yeah, it's easy to get bitter at girls who perceptually seem to have it easier than the rest of us. But in a lot of ways, they don't, guys. In a lot of ways, they're super inconvenienced. In a lot of ways, their life sucks because of their hotness. Now, if you had to take a girl and ask her, would you rather be super banging or ugly? She'd rather be super banging because, yes, overall, it makes your life better.

8:16 And it's kind of sad reality, not only for women, but for men as well. People who are physically attractive are given the benefit of the doubt, but there's kind of a level of diminishing returns where if she's too hot, then it becomes almost more of an inconvenience. But overall, yes, I'd agree with you. It's really good to be hot, but what's most important in this life, hot or not, is to have a brain between your two ears. And if I were to decide, like my daughter, for example, either she could be super ridiculously hot or be extremely smart, definitely extremely smart.

8:48 And in my opinion, being a good communicator is the most important thing. But with that point in hand, after we consider, OK, this woman obviously needs to be very cognizant of her safety. The second thing we need to understand about women is that for the most part, women act on their emotions and rationalize it later. Now, this isn't just women, it's men, too, but women do it way more than men do. Right. So a lot of you guys get ghosted. You have a date plan and a girl will flake on you or she'll be giving you mixed signals like there's frickin 65 traffic lights all in a bunch.

9:23 And each one says a different thing. And you're like, I don't understand what this chick wants. Well, that's because her emotions go up and down based on the situation of the day. Like she could be having a great day and want to hang out with you and then she gets a call from her mom chewing her out because of some bullshit. And then she cancels the date on you because her emotions are very tied up into circumstances. Whereas for us guys, our emotions are tied up into our rationale.

9:49 Typically, we think first and then act. Women, mostly, not all the time, but for a large percentage of them, especially when it comes to dating. OK, I'm not saying in the workplace. I'm not saying all the time. But when it comes to dating, brah, it's like ninety nine percent emotional. Now, of course, if you're an axe murderer and she knows that and she's super attracted to you, she's probably not going to go out with you. But honestly, like you could be a pretty big douche as I was.

10:15 And as some of you guys listening are and girls will still chase you, fall head over heels in love with you. And this is why, boys, some guys ask, like, why is that girl dating that Brian guy? He's such an asshole. He treats her like shit. He's sleeping with other girls. Why is he attracted to him? Why isn't she attracted to me? It's because she's not looking at your fucking resume, bro. She's looking at her emotions. And this Brian legend is able to flip attraction hot switches in her head.

10:43 So women act on their emotions and rationalize it later as guys do, too, but not as much. But especially with attraction, if you could just flip all the attraction hot switches. I even mentioned this in a previous podcast a few weeks ago. You could have a girl wake up at 2 a.m., put on her makeup, come over to your house, suck your dick, and then you fall asleep with your fucking leg off the bed, dripping semen out the front because you just came and you're snoring like a pig and she's totally in love with you.

11:11 And then she wakes up at 6 a.m. To go to work. That can happen if you flip all the attraction hot switches in the right sequence, which I teach guys how to do in my three-month coaching program and in this podcast. But remember, man, women act on emotion and rationalize it later. And on that point, attraction is not a choice. This is why, once again, she's going after Brian and he's a total asshole with a record that's 25 feet long and she still sleeps with him. You're like, what the hell?

11:39 Or a girl will say, like, I don't sleep with black dudes or Asian dudes or whatever, and they'll go sleep with an Asian dude that night because he was just super attractive. So like what you look like, what your nationality is, whatever prejudices she may have, you could blow through those with enough attraction. Now, point number three about female psychology is that women are relationship-centered, whereas guys like things. We like things. We like cars. We like motorcycles. We like hockey sticks. We like guns. We like surfboards.

12:10 We like doing things, hobbies. Women like relationships. My girlfriend, Marissa, I've talked about her a lot on this podcast. She's going to Cape Cod with her best friend. And what are they going to do, bro? I'm like, well, what are you guys going to do? She's like, we're just going to talk. I'm like, talk? You're going to Cape Cod to talk? Why don't you just talk here in Colorado? She's like, no, like we're going to go eat oysters and go to Martha's Vineyard and do all this and eat like clam chowder.

12:37 I'm like, OK, so you're going to eat a bunch of food and talk and drink wine? That's it? She's like, yeah, I can't fucking wait. And I'm like, you're weird, bro. Meanwhile, she's like, what are you going to do while I'm gone? I'm like, I'm going into the woods, man. I'm going to build a fire, build a big old wiki up, survive in the wilderness with nothing but my knife. And she's like, you're fucking weird. And that's the difference between men and women is women are relationship centered.

13:00 And this really is a tribal anthropological phenomenon that dictated their survival. So if you're trying to seduce a woman and she senses that it may make her look like a slut in front of her friends, she's not going to sleep with you. This is also the reason for last minute resistance, LMR, which as I'm thinking about it, I should probably do a podcast episode on. I haven't recorded a podcast about last minute resistance, which means resisting sex at the last minute because frankly, I hardly ever experienced it.

13:31 Why? Because I would always be the one pushing her away. And that works in the female psychology too. And even male psychology, people want what they can't have. But the reason for LMR is she's like, ah, is this going to make me a slut? Or am I going to get pregnant with this dude's baby? And who is this guy? Is he just going to use me and trash me? Or is he going to rape me right now? Is this going to turn into a day rape situation?

13:54 So women have a lot more to risk than we do when it comes to having sex. We have risk too. Okay. I'm not saying guys don't have risk and I'm not trying to hate on men's predicament. As well, when it comes to sex, but she could get pregnant and be stuck with the baby. She could be raped. Her reputation could be tarnished. Her friends could find out. There's a lot of things that could happen to a woman. So this is why she gets LMR last minute resistance.

14:18 And this is why you're on a first date with the girl. You haven't mentioned sex. Nothing is happening. And you telegraph a little bit too much interest. And she's like, we're not having sex tonight. You're like, whoa, where did that come from, dude? Like we're literally sitting here playing ping pong and you're like, we're not having sex tonight. Why is that? Did you just like watch a video where somebody shot a ping pong out of their vagina or something? Like, where's the fucking connection here? Well, she's just seeing actions by you that telegraphed, even leading up to that situation that you were very interested.

14:49 You were perhaps a little bit too thirsty. And so she put the brakes on. We're not having sex tonight. Because really, in a lot of ways, for a woman, sex is kind of her trump card, isn't it? And once she gives it up, you may be out the door, as many of us have done, including me. Right? You want to hit it once and quit it. I get it because she has like some nice fake tits, but her ass is a little bit too big for you.

15:11 Or you get down there and her vagina smells weird. Listen, we're dudes. And the way a woman looks, how good the sex is, is extremely important to us. But for a woman, she wants to build that connection with you. Remember, my girlfriend going to Cape Cod to talk to her best friend? I don't know what the hell she's thinking, but that's what she wants to do. Right? She wants to build that relationship with you. But she thinks that, oh my God, if I give the sex to this dude, he may be out the door, which happens to so many girls.

15:40 And by the way, boys, here's female psychology 101.111. Sevens? Like a girl who's a seven. Kind of cute, kind of doable, but not really something you'd want to bring home to your parents. Like I always say, jokingly, she's like a moped, fun to ride, but you don't want to be seen with her. Sevens have the shittiest fucking situation. I hope my daughter is not a seven. Why? Because dudes use them over and over and over again, like a butter face, right? Everything's great on this girl, but her face.

16:13 Dude, those girls have a miserable life and they are used by dudes time and time again. And this boys is why you get the question, what are you looking for? You swipe right on a girl on Tinder, right? You guys match. You're like, what's up, girl? She's like, what are you looking for? You're like, damn, Captain Nitro. Slow it down, bro. Like we just met. Well, you have to understand girls have a biological clock that's ticking. So she's thinking, is this guy going to waste my time?

16:38 Is he just going to use me again? She's a seven. She's been used a hundred times. She wants to know, what are you looking for? Are you looking for just a quick, get your dick wet, hit it and quit it? Or are you actually looking for a relationship? Which most girls are. Most girls are looking for a relationship. Some girls go through a phase. Actually, a lot of girls go through a phase where they just want to have sex and have fun. And that's emotional too.

17:02 They just want to have fun as we all do. But when they hit you with the, what are you looking for? Here's the answer that you should text back. Okay. And usually this happens on the dating apps. You say, I'm looking for an LTR, which means long-term relationship. I'm looking for a long-term relationship. However, relationships that start fast and fast. So what I'd like to do is get to know somebody first and take it slow. And if there's chemistry there, then I'm definitely open to something long-term.

17:29 If that's a deal breaker for you, just let me know. Every single time she's going to write back, no, that's cool. And the reason we do this is because we need to quell her anxiety about you just being a fuck boy, which is really what that question is. But let her know at the same time, like, yo, I'm not going to freaking meet you on this first Tinder date. And then we're going to go get married two days later. That ain't happening. We're going to take it slow.

17:51 And if that's not cool with you, let me know. And we'll part ways. And every time she's like, no, that's okay. That's what I'm looking for. Because really she can't get you into a long-term relationship until you guys adequately get to know each other, which in my opinion includes having sex. So you really win that game, but that's how you pass that test. But we have to understand why chicks say this. They have a biological clock that's ticking. A woman's prime sexuality is in her early 20s, and then it diminishes from there.

18:21 Some girls hit it a little bit later, but her 20s, that's like the decade where she has to get it done and try to find the best dude she can find. And that leads me to my next point. Guys get so bitter because women upgrade. You upgrade too, man. All of us do. I've done it thousands of times, and probably you have too. And if any of you guys are dating a seven right now, you know that you would upgrade to an eight if she had an equal personality and you related to her the way that you relate to the girl you're dating now.

18:52 Usually guys will just settle for a chick who picks them, and they're like, damn, I wish she was hotter. But you know, the sex is pretty good. She's got a nice ass, and she's kind of cute, and she's got a great personality, so I'll settle with her. Girls try to find the best guy they can too, and that's why we have the term trading up. All of us would trade up. The real question is, can you be the best dude that she's ever met? Flip all the attraction hot switches, leave her on a high note, make her fall in love with you, and be that ambitious guy that she deserves, especially if she's a 10.

19:23 A lot of you guys are like sixes as far as like your ambition, how much you're working on yourself, and like how much you're willing to go into discomfort and discipline. You're like at a six, and you want that bonafide 10. Ain't gonna happen. You need to make yourself a 10 as far as self-development is concerned, ambition is concerned, discipline is concerned. Then you can get a 10. So don't get pissed at chicks because they want to trade up, because you want to trade up too. And it's simply a survival instinct.

19:52 She wants the best man she can get, not because of his looks, not because of his money, not because of his penis size, but because of his survivability. Women's attraction for you is based on your survivability. How well you're equipped to survive in today's society, which means having a strong frame, being unapologetic, being sure of yourself, high self-esteem, high confidence, good speaker, well-dressed, and yes, probably adequately compensated for all these skills that you have, but that's not absolutely necessary. The most important thing is to be ambitious.

20:27 So when a woman is looking for a man, she wants all those things that I just listed, and she wants you to be able to lead her to where she wants to be led, which leads me to my next point. Female psychology is all about femininity. Femininity follows. Femininity creates. Femininity is all about relationships, and femininity wants to be led by masculinity. So if you accidentally put a woman into the masculine role by giving her control and saying, well, what do you want to do now?

20:57 Do you like me? Am I your type? Just tell me what to say, and I'll say it to you. When you do that, it turns women off because you're basically being feminine. That's their job. And your job is to lead them to where they want to be led, put them into that feminine energy, make them feel safe. Going back to my first point, remember, women are always under threat. So you make them feel safe, and rather than being a threat to them, they feel like you can protect them.

21:25 And this is why, too, I always talk about martial arts. I always talk about lifting weights. I talk about being a badass motherfucker, a peaceful warrior, as I talked about in my last week's episode, which, by the way, all you guys should listen to, even if you just skimmed over and you said, I don't want to listen to meditation. Trust me, brother. If you want to become a true alpha male, go listen to that shit. Even if you think meditation is complete crap, the episode is titled Why Every Alpha Male Should Meditate or something like that.

21:55 It's a really important episode. When you've maximized yourself as a man, she's going to want to be with you and she's not going to leave you. Let me ask you this. What's the only way to ensure a woman will not leave you? It's to make her fall in love with you. And make her fall in love is not really the right phrase. It should just be, be the man who she falls in love with. As long as she's totally in love with you, she knows that you're the fucking shit and you got your life together and you're ambitious, she's not going to leave you.

22:25 But if you try to sign a prenuptial agreement with her, like, don't leave me no matter how much I turn into a chicken McNugget with tits and have no ambition and just play video games all day and never try to improve myself. Please don't leave me, Sarah. She's going to leave you because those agreements, they're rational. And we as men think, hey, dude, there was a fucking agreement there. Stick to it. Women are emotional. They're not going to stick to that. They're going to do exactly what the fuck they want to do.

22:50 And you're going to do that too, man. If you marry a woman, put a rock on her finger, and it's like pulling a cord on a life raft, meaning she blows up to be this gigantic landslug, you're probably going to leave her too. It's an agreement between two people to maximize themselves and be on the same level. So when you want a 10, you have to be a 10. As a man is a 10. Doesn't mean you have to be ripped and good looking and rich. No. It means you have to be disciplined, masculine, and ambitious.

23:19 That's what that means. That's what a woman is looking for. Just like, and here's a little bit of male psychology 101, why are we attracted to hot chicks? Do you know? It's because it's a sign that she can have a healthy baby. That's it. It's a sign that she can have healthy offspring. Nice tits, nice hair, nice skin, good hip to breast ratio, long legs. It's all health signs, which points to the fact that she can have a really healthy baby. And the reason why we're mostly attracted to girls in their early 20s or mid 20s is because they have that glow about them.

23:53 They are primed to have a baby. Have you ever seen that glow on a woman? God, I love it. I love it. And I could see it immediately. It's so fucking sexy to a man. So when women get pissed off at us because we're attracted to women who are in their sexual prime, it's not our fault. It's designed into our DNA, just like women, you women listening. What's designed into your DNA is to look for survivability. Why do women want a man with high survivability so he can take care of her offspring and or give those offspring his superior genes so that they are going to have high survivability?

24:30 Attraction is all about the babies, boys. As strange as that is, that's exactly how it works. Now, my final tip about female psychology, and this is hopefully going to help a lot of you boys, particularly when you're in a relationship. Don't take everything she says as literal, okay? Women, as I said, will oftentimes act on their emotions and they're going to say some shit that will blow your mind and you may get all pissed off. She's made this decision or she's lashing out in a certain way or she's saying she's going to quit her job or move or whatever it is.

25:02 Don't take it seriously. Give it some time. Usually, when it's an emotionally-based outburst and it's your job to kind of analyze the situation, when it's an emotionally-based decision, outburst, statement, or reaction, it's usually going to change in the next few days. I had a situation, once again, with my girl where she said she wanted to keep living where we're currently living even though we decided together that we were going to move to Denver. Situation happened in her family that was very emotional. She just got some news about it.

25:33 So she's like, we have to stay in Northern Colorado so I can be next to this person and la-la-la. I said nothing. I said, all right, we'll figure it out, okay? Come here, give me a hug. And I just hugged her and I was just there for her because it was a traumatic time. I didn't get into, but dude, like we said we're going to move back down to Denver and be closer to where I want to be. Oh my God, what are you doing? Because that's where fights erupt.

25:53 So you have to just take it with a grain of salt. Usually a couple nights sleep will change it. And then what happened, dude? A couple days later, she's like, you know, I thought about what I said and, you know, I was just really emotional and I think I really want to stick with our plan to move down to Denver. And I'm like, that's good, sweetie. We'll go ahead and do that then, right? And I led her into that decision without being reactive and pushing back against what she said.

26:15 So when a woman vents to you and she's talking shit or she's flipping out or she even does some shit in your relationship, take the higher road, give it some time, don't react, but instead just be that calm presence that she needs while she's going through that emotional time. That is a genius way to deal with women. And I got a lot more than this, but this episode is getting pretty long, so I'm going to button it up right now. But certainly boys, as this podcast continues to grow, which by the way, it's in the top now, I think 0.5% of podcasts worldwide.

26:48 It's growing exponentially as it continues to grow. I'm just going to keep giving you guys tons of this valuable content because I want to see you guys have success in life. That is my purpose here is to coach you guys into success, coach you guys into peace, coach you guys into the best version of yourself that you possibly can be, which means you're a fucking man without making any apologies for it. That's what the hell I'm talking about. Gentlemen, I appreciate you listening. If you found value in my podcast, I'd appreciate a review, preferably a five-star one.

27:20 Email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you three awesome programs, a smack on the ass. I'll get your name tattooed on my right butt cheek and there'll be a statue of you in my backyard with a late champion chiseled into the granite beneath your feet. I got another awesome one coming up on Monday, boys. So please stay tuned for that one and I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.