How to Compliment a Girl & Why Compliments Are Like LANDMINES With Women

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast. I really do appreciate it. Hope that weekend treated you well, and I was out this weekend, and I saw a guy get blown out so hard. His pants flew off, flew at the bar, and wrapped around the bartender's head. That's how hard this guy got blown out.

0:37 Felt bad for the dude, man, but I could tell he was just too into it, too excited, too thirsty, leaning in, big-ass, shit-eating grin on his face, like if the dude was wearing lipstick, it would have gotten on both of his ears. The dude was smiling so massively, and then the girl rejected him, and he walked off with his tail between the legs. Have you been that guy before? I know I have, man, and oftentimes it's because of compliments. So in this episode, we're going to talk about why compliments are like landmines with women, and I'm going to teach you how to compliment women correctly, how to walk off like a goddamn champion with her phone number in your pocket, and definitely date her later.

1:12 Before we jump into the content, I want to read a couple names from some iTunes reviews that I've gotten that I thought were really, really excellent. It seems like these things come in waves, and I'll get like a few decent ones, and then I'll just get like an outpouring of just really, really good reviews and testimonials, and I got a bunch that just came in. I think they got a human review in the iTunes reviews, and then he presses go on it, and then they all show up at the same time.

1:39 I check them a couple times a week, and then just a couple days ago, a couple really good ones came in. So I'm going to give a couple shout-outs here. First one is Rabbert123. The names you guys have to choose, I swear to God, but he says that I'm super authentic, and I appreciate that, brother. I really try to keep it real and just be genuine and not try to act like anything other than myself. Tid Dunn, my name is Jeff. I really like this one.

2:05 This dude even downloaded iTunes just to leave me a review. Jeff, you are a goddamn champion, bro. Smack yourself in the ass so hard when the concussion hits your pants flap and wrap around that bartender's head. Swaoo Cloud Majakt. How do you guys think of these names, bro? Jessie. This is a female, guys. She says it's the most informative, interesting podcast I've heard in quite a long time, and she enjoys every episode, and I'm like, oh, this guy's pretty cool, and then she's like, as a woman, it brought me so much insight about men when I want a man, but moreover, why I want things in a man that I want.

2:36 So Jessie, hey, listen, if you're listening and if you're ever in Denver, hit me up, I want you to come out with my girlfriends and I. We will have a good time. Next guy is Sinyakal. Mark is the GOAT. Appreciate that. Do you guys know what GOAT means? Greatest of all time. That's right, brother. I appreciate you. Joey P, Dino Do, and that's about it for now, guys. So I appreciate everybody who left me those reviews. Seriously, man, you guys are goddamn legends, and I really, really appreciate you.

3:06 If you leave me a review, email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, and I will send you a bunch of cool shit, The Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. Let's jump into the content, boys. So why are compliments like landmines with women? All right, so many times, guys use compliments to try to earn a female's endearment, to try to make her like him, because as kids, we're taught that if you compliment people, they like you. It makes that person feel good, and they're going to like you in turn, and maybe even compliment you back.

3:42 So guys do this as really a means of manipulation, and women absolutely hate it. So guys will go in, as that guy did on Saturday night, compliment her, be extremely excited to be talking to her, acting like all his Christmases have arrived in the same day, telegraphing tons of interest, open body language, laughing at jokes that aren't funny that she says, and just really trying to get into rapport with her. And every compliment, his value is just going down and down and down. Why is that?

4:09 Like, why is it that something so genuine as a nice compliment kind of is irritating to a woman, and frankly would be irritating to you too, if somebody used it as a means to try to get something from you? Well, let's kind of step back a little bit and just look at two dudes who meet and say a similar hobby, okay? If the guy was sitting there complimenting you, don't you think that would be like a little bit creepy, and you'd be like, what is this guy trying to get from me?

4:35 No, we don't compliment just haphazardly in order to try to get something from somebody. I mean, we might toss them in here and there when the guy deserves it, but really in a first conversation, you're just getting to know the person. And compliments are like a manipulation kind of thing that you can tell the person is not genuine. They come off as two-faced, they come off as disingenuous, and you immediately don't trust them. So it seems like a good thing to do is a really, really bad thing to do with women.

5:01 In fact, boys, here's a law that I have, and I want you to tattoo this on your fucking forehead. Do not compliment a woman unless she compliments you. Now, you guys who have been listening for a long time, or you champions who have been through my three-month coaching program, what is the 8100 rule? You guys should know this. For those of you who haven't heard this, the 8100 rule is basically for every 10 statements of interest she gives you, for every 10 compliments she gives you, you can give her about 80%, which would be eight.

5:28 Okay, I know a woman isn't going to just like shell 10 compliments at you. At least it's highly unlikely she would. Sometimes it happens, but it's just an example. Okay, it's the ratio. She gives 10 compliments, you give her eight. She gives you five, you give her four. She gives you three, you give her two. She gives you two, maybe you can give her one. She gives you zero, you give her zero. Okay, so we're not using compliments as a means to manipulate a woman. We're using them when we genuinely think something good about her.

6:00 Now, when it comes to really hot girls, and this is a massive tip that I want you to always remember, never compliment their looks. Never, ever, ever compliment how hot they are, how beautiful her eyes are, how clean her teeth are, her body, how tight her ass is, how nice her tits look. Don't fucking say it. If you are going to compliment a woman, compliment her energy, compliment her personality, compliment her ambition. Or if you want to compliment something about her appearance, the most you can do is complimenting her sense of style.

6:31 Okay, her outfit, the way her purse matches your earring, something like that. Now, sometimes when I first open a woman, I will compliment her, but I start with that one and I end with that one until she compliments me. In fact, sometimes girls will compliment me and I simply won't compliment them back. And I'm going to tell you how to accept a compliment more towards the end of the show. But many times I will walk up to women and say, hey, I thought you were cute.

6:56 Had to come meet you. What's up? What's your name? Okay, that's it. I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. What's up? What's your name? Okay, that's it. So that's the first compliment. And then from there forward, I simply don't do it. I don't rely on them. I'm not trying to build a rapport with her. I'm not trying to get anything from her because complimenting women is simply low value. It's a low value thing that low value guys do, but guys do it all the fucking time.

7:19 And I didn't even hear the conversation that that dude was having with that Burnett chick, but I can tell you without a doubt that he was throwing compliments. And another thing, compliments state interest, but so does your energy. So does your body language. Think about a guy who's turned completely in facing a girl, open body language. His toes are pointed right at her. He's leaning into her. He's smiling really big. He's invading her personal space. And she's like, ew, get away from me. Because why would a high value guy who has lots of options need to compliment her?

7:51 Why would he be so excited to be talking to this girl? Because he doesn't get to talk to girls very often, especially really hot girls like this one. So he's going to be affected by her hotness. He won't be able to help himself. And you guys know what that feels like, right? When you're talking to a chick, you just can't help yourself. You're like, God, this girl's so hot, man. I just have to say it. My God, Kelly, you are just so beautiful. And then maybe he'll call her sweetheart.

8:16 And maybe he'll compliment how tight her butt is. Maybe he'll say how beautiful her skin is. And the next thing you know, he's getting blown out so hard his mustache blows off his face. And he's like, what did I do wrong? Compliments are like landmines with women. So your rule, bro, like the next time you go out with a girl, you just don't compliment her. That's it. It's as easy as that. If she starts tossing them your way, you can compliment her back. But here's the thing.

8:34 If you get a compliment, don't compliment back like immediately. What you want to do is kind of save one for later, right? She compliments you, says that you're really interesting. You're really ambitious. I love your stories. Oh my God, you're so masculine. What you do is you tuck one away in the feather of your cap and then you pull it out at the right time. Now, are you going to compliment how hot she is? Are you going to compliment her perfect hairstyle or how her vagina must be like the gates of heaven itself?

9:01 No, you are not to compliment her. Dude, don't piss me off, bro. Don't get me so pissed off. I smack you upside the head and knock the fucking idiot out of your brain. Do not compliment her on her looks. Do not compliment her on those things where it looks like you're just trying to earn her endearment. Compliment her on something real. Like say, hey, you know what? I'm talking to you right now. You're a really good conversationalist. Or you know what? You have a really positive energy about you.

9:30 I bet you do almost anything for your best friend, wouldn't you? Something like that is a better compliment than saying, oh my God, you're so beautiful. I can't believe I'm sitting across the table right now. I've got a boner right now. So if the table starts lifting, that's because you're so fine and my boner is just lifting up the table. No, you will not do that. All right. So she compliments you. How do you accept the compliment? Here's the magic words, bro. I want you to take notes on this.

9:52 I want you to write it down. I want you to really focus on this. Thank you. Did you get it? Did you write it down? That's it. You don't need to come up with some amazing rebuttal or for God's sakes compliment her back because that shows that you don't think you're enough. When people throw the compliment back at you, we call it boomeranging. That's because you can't accept the compliment. You're so insecure and you don't believe it and you don't think you deserve it. So you throw it right back at the person.

10:17 At most what you can say is, hey, thanks coming from you. That means a lot. That's what I'll say to a lot of guys. Like when they compliment me, I'll be thanks, bro. Coming from you, man. That means a lot. That works really well when you want to let the person know that they're a champion and you appreciate their compliment. Okay. So back to why compliments are bad, because I really want you guys to get this. The reason they're bad is because it's the trait of a low value man.

10:41 If you are a celebrity, let's say Brad Pitt walks into a bar and he's talking to a girl. He obviously knows that he's enough. Okay. He's famous. He's good looking. He's rich, all that bullshit. He knows that he has high social value. So do you think he's going to sit there complimenting a girl? No, because he's the prize. And that's why not complimenting communicates that you're the prize. Do you think really hot girls sit there complimenting dudes? I mean, some do because that's just their personality, but they don't feel the need to do so.

11:13 Now, complimenting comes from a place of feminine energy when you're trying to get into rapport with somebody. See, women are very relationship-oriented, so they'll use compliments to get into rapport with somebody. So when you do it to try to earn their endearment, it's coming from kind of a lower to higher type of vibe. That's why they say in the movie, the 40-year-old virgin, don't put the pussy on a pedestal. The movie said it. I didn't say it, but it's a good analogy. When you do that, you're kind of putting her on the pedestal.

11:41 You're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful. You're like an angel that came down from heaven. Can you see how that's lower to higher? When you compliment women, you want it to come from higher to lower. Now, as I always say in this podcast, and people misunderstand me all the time, I am not condescending to women. What I'm saying is masculinity leads, femininity follows. The follower is the person who is in the supplicatory role, and the leader is the one who's in the leader position. Not being better, always equal, just leading.

12:14 So when you compliment, it has to come from that upper to lower kind of vibe, but it's not condescending. It's more like, hey, I accept you. Hey, you're good to go. Hey, I approve of you. Can you see the difference between these two ways of saying things? Okay. Listen to this. Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Like what kind of shampoo do you use? Okay. That's obviously lower to higher. That's what guys who are bad with women do. They compliment from a supplicatory lower station, trying to earn her endearment, trying to get in rapport with her, trying to get her to like him.

12:46 Whereas somebody like me and somebody like you will kind of be like a soccer coach complimenting his 12 year old soccer player, this little girl that's on his soccer team and his delivery would be completely different. He'd be like, damn, your hairstyle is awesome. What do you use for a shampoo? Okay. And you see too, how my voice goes down at the end. I've told you guys this a million times in this podcast and a billion times in my coaching program, your voice has to go down at the end to communicate that masculine authority.

13:11 It's like a police officer pulls somebody over. Does he say license and registration, please? And his voice goes up at the end. No, he's like license and registration, please goes down at the end. So when complimenting a woman, it has to be from that almost like a father complimenting his daughter. Hey, little Lucia, you did a great job there. Go ahead and do it again. You're killing it. See how that comes. And it's always within that 80, 100 rule. Do you remember what it is? You better remember it's eight compliments for her every 10 compliments or eight pulls, which means her pulling you into her.

13:47 You're allowed to pull her into you. If you're doing it to 80% of what she's doing it to you. So back to Brad Pitt. Okay. Now you got a really good understanding of how this works. He walks into that bar on Saturday, that same bar I'm in. He's talking to that same girl that that other dude was talking to. How's his body language? He's kind of leaning back. Maybe his toes are pointed past her instead of pointed right at her. He's not leaning in. He doesn't have an ear to ear smile, but maybe he grins once in a while and he's not complimenting her because from his perspective, he's like, who are you?

14:19 I don't know who you are. Why am I going to compliment this stranger who I know nothing about? What he's doing is trying to get to know her a little bit. Maybe he's telling her some stories. He's self entertained. He's just there chilling, chopping the shit up and maybe getting to know this chick. Now her, on the other hand, she understands, holy shit, this is Brad Pitt. He's the prize. So she's the one who's going to be leaning in. She's the one who might be throwing out some compliments.

14:43 And if she compliments him, she's like, oh my God, that movie Fight Club, you were self shredded. It looked like you had gills. He's like, thanks. I really appreciate that. And he kind of laughs and he's like, I appreciate that. Right. But it's not like, oh my God, thank you so much. And just to let you know, you're beautiful too. Your lips are so thick and banging. You look like you can suck the shine off a Cadillac. No. He'd just say, thank you. I appreciate it.

15:02 Or you may say, thanks, you know, coming from you, that means a lot. Okay. And he knows he's got a compliment in the bucket. Maybe if she deserves it, then as the conversation goes, maybe she tells a story and he's like, you know what? That was actually a really good delivery. You're a good storyteller. And listen to my voice. It goes down at the end. So this is why compliments are like landmines with women. Never compliment a girl unless she's complimenting you. You're allowed to compliment her 80% of what she's complimented to you.

15:32 Do not compliment her looks, which means her appearance, her angelic eyes, her beautiful teeth, her perfect skin and the lips that can suck the shine off a Cadillac. Do not compliment how banging her ass is, her perfect three inch thigh gap, her perky tits or anything else, unless it's her style. And when you compliment her style, remember, don't be like, damn, I love the way them pants hug your donk donk butt. No, it's like, Hey, I like the way your earrings match your purse. You're complimenting the effort that she put into her style, not the style itself.

16:01 And you're doing it like a soccer coach compliments his 12 year old girl on his soccer team, not condescending, but simply masculine to feminine. Because when you compliment women trying to get their approval, you are being in the feminine role. And that's why compliments are like landmines with women. Gentlemen, I know your time is very valuable, but I want you to show up on Thursday because I got an absolutely spectacular one. I'm going to play some music that I actually got permission to use. And I'm going to talk about why you need to embrace the killer inside yourself, why you are a fucking warrior.

16:40 And you need to embrace that with everything that masculinity represents and do it without apology. Now, obviously, I'm going to get way more into specifics as to why that is. I'm not telling you guys to go be killers. I'm telling you to harness the killer instinct inside yourself and project it in ways that will make you unbelievably successful in life with money, with friendships, with your happiness, with women, and most importantly, with peace. So please stay tuned for that one, boys. It's dropping on Thursday. In the meantime, all you guys are goddamn champions for listening to this podcast, but particularly those of you who have left me five-star reviews and those with writing behind it that are thoughtful, that are compassionate, that are genuine, brothers, I really, really appreciate it.

17:20 Once again, if you want to leave me a review, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. You can also sign up for a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me by going to my website, coachmarksingh.com, fill in the quick application, and you and I will get on a free one-on-one coaching session together. Read more about that on my website. Thank you again for listening, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.