Frame Control Masterclass: If You Don't Listen to This, You're a Lunatic!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you listening. Today, we are going back to basics, which, as I've discussed over previous podcasts, is my point for this month and next month, possibly, is to give you guys the most important foundational elements of what it takes to become attractive to women, and perhaps more importantly, what it takes to be successful as a human being.

0:42 Now, frame control is, in my opinion, and no one will ever change my mind about this, is the single most important thing when it comes to attracting women, because the way you lead the conversation will dictate whether or not she's going to get attracted to you. The basic premise is this. If you are not controlling the frame, she will not get attracted to you. If she discovers that she has a stronger frame than you do, attraction is pissed right out the window. In today's episode, we're going to go over that extremely foundational and extremely important thing called frame control, and I am going to give the 10,000-foot perspective.

1:19 Based on time in this episode, I may go down into the nitty-gritty and talk about frame control reversals and what are called frame checks or shit tests in the community, the pickup artist community, as it's called, calls it shit tests. I call it frame checks, and that's basically when she's checking the strength of your frame, depending on the amount of time, depending on how many rabbit holes I go down in this one, and hopefully there are a few because there's lots of important elements to this.

1:48 I may choose to make a follow-up episode about this, about frame control reversals. Before I get into the content, I want to let you know that for 90% of you guys, the reason why you lose women, the reason why you go into the friend zone, the reason why somebody perhaps divorced you, broke up with you, or wasn't interested in you is usually this. It's usually some component of frame control, and this, by the way, is why many guys are the nice guy and are too supplicatory, giving her the frame, letting her have the power, and she loses respect for you because of it.

2:21 So if that's the case for you, and you want to do a deeper dive on frame control than this episode and the half dozen episodes I've recorded about frame control and this podcast anthology can give you, come sign up with me on my three-month coaching program. This is a three-month coaching program that both teaches you the tactical aspect of approaching women, and it includes neuro-linguistic programming to reprogram some of the belief systems in your head that perhaps make you act like Mr. Nice Guy, a beta cuck, supplicatory, putting the pussy on a pedestal, quote-unquote, as that movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin says.

2:58 And that's why you haven't been successful with women, and this program is extremely intensive, and frame control is the main backbone behind this entire program. So listen to this episode if you haven't listened to my other episodes about frame control, but you know what? Even if you have, this really warrants a review. Because even some of my clients who say that they have a deep, deep understanding of frame control, I still catch them making mistakes with frame control. So this is a multi-layered kind of thing.

3:25 So even if you've listened to all my episodes about it, I'm probably going to say some new things about it in this one, but it's also a review. And for most people, they need to hear things three or five times before they really get it. So going back to my three-month coaching program, what I do is I give a free breakthrough session. Now, this session lasts about 30 minutes, and basically what we're doing is I'm kind of interviewing you to see if you're a good fit for my program.

3:49 And you're also kind of testing the waters as far as my coaching is concerned to see if you want to come into the program. Now, if I invite you into the program, it's three months. It requires about five to 10 hours per week of work. And for probably 95% of my guys, they do get the results. Now, you may be asking, how can a coach say that 95% of his clients get results? Well, the reason it is is because I have a very thorough vetting process, and I can tell pretty much from the answers guys give me.

4:18 I can tell from interviewing them who's going to get results and who isn't. And if you're curious what the dividing factor is, it's always work ethic. It's always work ethic. So if you're the type of guy who, when he commits to something, he actually gets it done, I want to meet you. If you've been successful as far as not quitting in other areas of your life and you want to apply that to women, if you want to make 2022 the game changer when it comes to women in your life, I'm your guy.

4:45 95% of my guys get results, and I'm not bullshitting. Check out the testimonials on my website, CoachMarxine.com. Click on coaching. Go through the 70-plus testimonials on my website. If you want to check it out further and meet with me, apply by clicking on the big red button that says, get your free breakthrough session. I will send you my schedule, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. All right, boys, frame control. Let's see how good I do this, man. I'm just doing it right off the top of my head.

5:11 So let's see what I can do. Here we go. Come on now. Come on now, buddy. You can do this, bro. Remember, Mark, start from basics and then funnel down to the deeper things. Don't go on the tangents, man. Prevent yourself from the tangents, you idiot. You're such an idiot. I can't believe what an idiot. All right, here we go, boys. I'm fired up. All right, so frame control. So the basic premise of frame control is this. In every interaction between human beings, there's always somebody controlling the conversation.

5:37 There's somebody who has a higher conversational value than the other person. They essentially have more social value in that conversation. The person who carries the most value, the person who has the strongest frame, is the one who's leading that conversation. And as I said in the beginning of this episode, a woman cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. I've said it twice, and I'm going to say it three times to get it through your thick fucking skull. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless you, brother, have a stronger frame than she does.

6:11 Okay, so the frame essentially says that you are leading the conversation. I want to really put a caveat on this that says you're in control, but you're not controlling. A lot of guys completely misinterpret this to become stubborn, controlling assholes. That is not at all what it means. In fact, it's quite the opposite, which I'll probably discuss in a second. But essentially what it means is when you're talking to a woman, you just want to lead the conversation. That's it. So that means that you're basically bringing up the things to talk about.

6:40 You're asking questions to kind of lead her through the conversation. If she says something to you that's kind of designed to hurt you, it doesn't affect you because you're not affected by her because you're leading. And most definitely you're not trying to gain rapport with her, which basically means you don't give a shit what happens. Why is it that when you're attracted to a female, she rarely gets attracted to you, but the girls who you're not attracted to get attracted to you? Why is that? It's because you don't give a shit.

7:08 You're not trying to earn her rapport. In fact, you're comfortable to break rapport, which I've also done podcast episodes on. You're comfortable to break rapport and you don't care what happens. So in all conversations, there's always a frame, and let's look at it as a picture frame surrounding the picture of the conversation. There's always a frame that's imposed by one or both people, and the person with the stronger frame is the one who wins. And this is to say that your interpretation of reality is the one that is accepted between both parties.

7:40 Okay, so very simple concept. If you believe that vaccines are good and you're talking to somebody who believes vaccines are bad, the person with the stronger frame will win the argument despite what kind of points they bring up, what kind of scientific evidence. The underlying frame, the strength of your reality is what basically wins arguments. Now, I could go down a hundred different rabbit holes right now, but I've got to stay focused, got to stay on track. We're just going to say that right now, okay?

8:08 The person who has the stronger interpretation of reality, their interpretation of what's being talked about, their interpretation of their attitudes, their viewpoints, their interpretation of life as a whole, the person who has a stronger interpretation of their reality is the one who's controlling the frame. And now I want to say it four times. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. Now, can you see why it's easy to misinterpret this as being stubborn and an asshole and not accommodating other people's viewpoints?

8:40 Yes, it's easy to see it that way. But I want to tell you, the person with the strongest frame is actually the one who's willing to accommodate other people's viewpoints because he's so strong in his reality. He's so confident in who he is that he'll let people push on his viewpoints and attitudes and actually accommodate it and not be arrogant and say, okay, bro, like, yeah, that's really what you think. Okay, okay, whatever you say, buddy. No, it's not like that. It's actually compassionate and you have a very open mind to things.

9:08 And I think that's why I often land in the middle when it comes to things like politics, my views of vaccine, even my views about pro-life or pro-choice. I'm very much in the middle because I can see both points because I have a very strong reality and I can accommodate all arguments without being threatened by it. Oftentimes, people who are ensconced in their beliefs, people who are super right-wing, super left-wing, super stubborn are those with the weakest frame, actually, because stubbornness is derivative of insecurity. Why would somebody be super ensconced in their position when they're highly confident about their viewpoint?

9:42 It's like the sky is blue and you come to me and say, no, no, no, no. The sky is actually green. Do you think I'm going to be threatened by that argument? I'm going to be like, all right, bro, like, let's hear the evidence. I'm open to it. Maybe I'm colorblind. Maybe I'm seeing things wrong. Let's hear it, man. And then after your argument, I'm like, sorry, bro, I don't believe you. The sky is blue. Now, who just controlled that frame? I did, because you were trying to convince me of something, and at the end, I made the decision.

10:07 I'm the judge and the jury, and I put the verdict out there. And that's the way we always view it when it comes to social interactions. This is why in my previous episode, I said, if somebody in the group starts laughing, and I don't know what's funny, I'm not going to laugh with them, which is what so many people do. So many people buy into other people's reality. You see how this works? They buy into their opinions. They buy into their humor. They buy into their tastes and their attitudes.

10:35 They're easily convinced. They're a fart on the breeze, being blown around by other people's arguments and just buying into it. When you have a strong reality, you believe what you believe, and you need to be convinced. And you don't do so with anger or stubbornness. You're very open-minded, but you need to be convinced. And this is why a guy with a strong frame, when he's talking to a female and she says some shit that he doesn't agree with, he'll straight tell her, unemotionally, not with any negativity, but just say, you know what?

11:04 I disagree with that. And here's why. He's not trying to impress her. He's not trying to get anything from her. He doesn't fucking care what happens. And furthermore, boys, you are giving women way too much credit for being hot. Who gives a shit if she's hot? I want to know about her personality. I want to know about her accomplishments. Is she a go-getter? Is she a good person? Does she tell the truth? Like the standards episode that I recently recorded. A guy with a very strong frame has standards, and he sets them out there, and he expects people to meet them.

11:34 Otherwise, they're done. Kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you. You're all blown out. Beat it. Have a nice life. Okay, so going back to the 10,000-foot perspective, your frame is your interpretation of reality. Your interpretation of reality in your own mind, in your own mind now, listen closely to me, in your own mind is the coolest, most badass, best thing for you. Not best for everybody else. And that's why you have an open mind, is because, yeah, maybe you believe that Trump is the shit, or maybe you believe that Biden is the shit, okay?

12:08 And somebody comes in and argues against you, you're so secure and confident in your opinion that you're willing to debate it. And even if they quote-unquote prove you wrong, you're still like, sorry, bro, I just don't agree with it. I'm sorry I can't help you with that. I'm sorry I can't help you that you love Trump. That's your issue. I like Biden, and that's the way it is. Or vice versa. I love Trump, man. I'm sorry I can't help you with Biden. I just don't get it.

12:32 But, hey, if that's what you want to believe, go ahead. It's not for me. And that's a guy that gets women attracted to him. A guy who has a very, very strong reality. Why? Because women's attraction for you is based on your ability to survive in today's society. Your survive-ability. Check this out. Guys with highly strong frames are guys who make more money, are guys who get all kinds of women, guys who make more friends, guys who are generally more successful, are those who have confidence, going back to confidence, and their interpretation of reality.

13:08 So a guy who's in a group, and everybody starts laughing, and he really doesn't think it's funny, somebody says something that's supposed to be funny, but he doesn't find it funny, he won't laugh. Or he tells a joke, and he thinks it's funny, he will laugh, even while everybody else isn't laughing. You're almost like in your own world, and you don't give two shits about what anybody else thinks, and you don't even care if they buy into your frame. You don't need followers, you don't need approval, you don't need external validation to feel like your point is correct.

13:38 And this is why when I see people go out onto the streets trying to convince others of their viewpoint, and or people who argue their viewpoint, I know they have a weak frame, and they're fundamentally insecure in it. Because anybody who's strong in themselves isn't even going to try to convince others of it, because they're so deep in their belief of it. So, with all that being said, I want to give you a little test. You're talking to a girl, and she says, "Oh my God, your shirt is so stupid, why would you wear that?"

14:04 Guy with a strong frame, what would he do? That's right, you're a smart motherfucker. He would be unaffected. He would actually turn it around on her and say, "Dude, you are not cool if you don't like this shirt." Like, I don't know what you're thinking, and what I like to say, boys, oftentimes is, "I'm sorry, I can't help you with that." Like, I don't know where your taste is coming from, maybe you're kind of like stuck in the 90s or something, "I'm sorry, I can't help you with that, but this shirt is the shit."

14:27 And the fact that you don't like it, Cindy, I'm going to wear it the next time we hang out, because that's how much I know this is the shit. See how that is? That's frame control, unaffected, I don't give a fuck what you think. Now, let me ask you another question. You're talking to her, and she brings up something that's not conducive to attraction. She says something like, going back to my previous episode, "Oh my God, I think Trump is going to run again for president, I fucking hate that guy."

14:53 And you know, even if you are a Trump fan, okay, you know that this isn't conducive to attraction. Attraction is built through conversations that elicit emotions. There's not a lot of emotions going on in the presidential race, at least not a lot of positive emotions. So what do you do? You change the subject. So she says, "Oh my God, I can't believe Trump is going to run again. I fucking hate that guy. Biden is a shit." And you're like, "Look over there, look over there, see that, see that sign?"

15:18 It says "coat check." It looks like it says "goat check," doesn't it? Like the C kind of looks like a G. Like, "Come on in, everybody, check your goat at the goat check, and we're going to have a big party at the goat farm," right? And you make a joke about it, which I do all the time at this one nightclub that I go to. It looks like it says "goat check." And that's why I'm bringing up this point is, if she brings up something stupid, listen closely, man.

15:38 I know some of you are kind of dozing off right now, you're thinking about other things. You're not focused. Focus, my friend. If she brings up boring shit and you run with it, she's going to blame you for boring her. Let me say that again. If she brings up boring shit and you run with it, she's going to blame you for boring her. This is why guys don't get phone numbers when they talk about exactly what she wants to talk about and they go down paths that she brings up.

16:05 It's not the woman's responsibility to control the conversation. It's your responsibility. It's not the woman's responsibility to bring herself into good emotions. It's your responsibility as the man. And that's what she wants from you. She wants you to control the frame. She wants you to show her that you have a strong reality, a strong self-belief. You are unaffected by her. And if she brings up some shit that's boring, you're willing to change the conversation and take her to a place that's much better. Now, going on this vein of thought and looking over at my time here, I'm definitely going to have to do another episode on this.

16:37 I could probably do 20 episodes and maybe I should. But going on this vein of thought, let me ask you, if you react to her, she says something really mean and it shows that it hurts you. Do you think that's good or bad for attraction? You're right, man. So you're getting this. You're getting this. And when you get this, your fucking life is going to change with women. She says something mean to you and you react to it. That means she's losing attraction for you because her frame got into your frame.

17:03 It was funny the other day. All my girlfriends were giving me shit because I wear earrings. Sometimes I wear these black studded earrings and they're like, oh, my God, what are you like from the 90s? What's going on? Do you think I was sitting there explaining myself to them? No, I was like, dude, the real question is, why aren't you wearing black studded earrings? These things are the shit. In fact, ladies, you guys are not cool unless you get up to speed with these earrings. I am going to wear the biggest fucking rock earrings the next time we hang out.

17:29 Actually, you know what? Ashley, do you have some loops I could wear? Let me get some of those big hoop earrings like a hoochie mama and all of us will go out together. I'm going to rock those earrings. So now, boys, every time I go out with them, I'm going to wear earrings. Why? To prove the point that their opinion can't affect me. And Ashley, if you're listening, because I know you listen to my podcast, that's right, girl. I'm going to get some hoop earrings and I'm going to rock them right in front of you.

17:50 And I'm going to embarrass you, too, because I know you're super embarrassed of me when I do shit like that. Get ready, girl. It's coming for you. And boys, that's a guy who's strong in his reality. He's unapologetic. And that's why I named this the Unapologetic Man Podcast. I'm not going to apologize to you. I'm not going to supplicate to you. I'm not going to explain myself to you. And most importantly, I'm not going to react to you negatively when you do mean shit to me.

18:14 You think I give a fuck that they made fun of me? No, it's actually a good thing. And I find it funny. I find it funny when people make fun of me, tease me, tell me I have skinny arms, tell me I have skinny legs, a big nose, a long face. Whatever it is, I find it laughable, like a Spartan laughing at a 10-year-old girl when she's like, Oh, my God, your Spartan helmet is so stupid. He would literally hold his head straight, look down at her with his eyes only, and then chuckle.

18:40 Like, aren't you cute? That's the reaction you have to have. Now, what do guys who are bad with women do? They're constantly trying to shape their behavior. They're constantly trying to win the woman's approval, explain themselves to her, supplicate to her, laugh when she's laughing. And this is so goddamn common. I see it in the bars and the nightclubs all the time. A guy will tell a joke to a woman, and she'll, like, laugh a little bit, and he'll, like, lean in, laughing as hard as he can, trying to make her laugh harder to, like, gain rapport with her.

19:11 That's a weak frame. Guys who are good with women don't give a shit, only react to things from their own reality. If she brings up boring topics or those topics which are counterproductive when it comes to attraction, he'll switch subjects. If she says some negative shit, he'll ignore it or reframe it, which I'm going to talk about in an upcoming episode. He is in his own reality, and that's what it is. Your reality, brother, is the most important thing to you, and you don't give two shits what other people think.

19:40 And when you're talking to a woman, you are not reacting to her. You are not trying to gain rapport with her. You don't give a shit what she thinks. In fact, she's the one submitting the application. Subcommunicated, which means the communication behind the communication. If you say to a woman, hey, just so you know, I'm unaffected by you. I got a stronger frame than you, and you know what? You're submitting the application, Amy. She's going to be like, fuck you. You're an asshole. So it's all subcommunicated.

20:05 It's just in your behavior. And this is why guys who are nice guys don't get the girls. Can you see why now? It's because they give her the frame. Let's do what you want to do. They agree with everything she says. They try to gain rapport with her. If she laughs at a joke, he's going to laugh really hard to try to get her to laugh more because he's so desperate to gain rapport with her. So frame control, boys. Your interpretation of reality. It's that picture frame around the painting that dictates how you see the world, and your reality has to be so strong that literally nothing anybody does can affect you.

20:37 This is the most important thing when it comes to attracting women because it shows survivability. Guys with strong frames survive in the world. They make the most money. They make the most friends. They get the most respect. They get the most happiness and peace. And oftentimes, they're badasses. And can you see, too, why sometimes assholes will attract women? Why? Not because they're assholes, but because they have strong frames. So to become the man that all women want, you will have a strong frame, but also treat her well and lead her to where she wants to be led.

21:09 Listen to that sentence. Lead her to where she wants to be led. You're leading her still, but not to anywhere she doesn't want to go. You're not being a dick. You're taking her on an experience that she doesn't even know she wants to have. It's like the five-year-old girl who dreams of being rescued by the prince out of the castle and took on this happily ever after life. That's what you have to do. You got to tuck the girl under your wing without trying to win her approval, being completely secure in yourself.

21:37 And I'll tell you what, even if I do wear those hoop earrings with my girlfriends, right, and they're making fun of me and they think it looks ridiculous, they're going to respect me and probably even become more attracted to me because I do it. Because I'm unapologetic about who I am. That is the essence of frame control. All right, boys, the next episode that I drop on frame control, we're going to talk about how women will purposely test your frame by saying mean things. As I spoke about, it's called shit tests or frame checks in the community.

22:05 They're going to say mean things to you, and I'm going to talk about how to reverse those things and how to deal with them. Before the time being, I just want you to think about this. Am I heavily ensconced in my reality? Do I believe in my interpretation? Am I so secure in myself that I'm actually cool to people and welcome other viewpoints, just like somebody trying to convince me that the sky is green? That is so laughable and so obviously not true that if you have a high sense of self-worth and a high belief in your own interpretation, you'd welcome that argument.

22:36 And you'd smile, and then you'd say at the end, brother, I don't know what you're talking about, man. It's clearly blue. I'm afraid I can't help you with that. That is frame control, and that is the most important thing when it comes to seducing women. All right, gentlemen, that's it for this podcast. Once again, if you want to get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, I would love to meet you. I want to let you know that I do have a waiting list. I do have a lot of guys trying to meet with me, and I do have a pretty intensive vetting process, but the most important thing I look for is commitment.

23:06 If you're sitting there thinking, I'm not good enough for Mark, I don't know if I can have this frame that he talks about, I just don't get this shit, that's not what's important to me, man. I work with hard cases, guys with issues that probably are more numerous than your own, and guys who come from a lower place than you're probably starting from, and I dare say I was probably that dude. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for champions. Why would I want that?

23:29 There's no trajectory there on their improvement. What I want is guys with lots of issues, lots of problems, lots of inexperienced virgins, like the hardest case is the hardest case. It doesn't matter. Or if you're an expert already, I know I can make you better by reprogramming your brain where you literally feel like a 10, where no girl can get into your frame. You build the strongest frame ever where it's imperturbable. Nobody can affect it. If you're either of those guys, all I look for is commitment.

23:56 It's not even commitment to me, commitment to getting the goals with women that you really want. The goals that you've been dreaming about for years, masturbating to girls on Pornhub, who you think you'll never have. But in reality, I will blow your mind with what's possible. Anything is possible with women. I've seen guys do shit that would amaze and dazzle you if I just had the chance to explain it to you. And hopefully I will, man, if you jump on that one-on-one free breakthrough session with me.

24:23 Once again, go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching. Click the big red bubbly button. That's super fun to click. Fill out the super quick application. Hit submit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. All right, gentlemen, I have another awesome one dropping on Monday. And soon enough, I'm going to drop that one about frame control reversal. So keep your eyes peeled for that. And I will see you in the next episode. Out! Out!

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.