FRAME CONTROL!!! (#1 Most Important Thing For Attraction!!!)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Welcome to the most important episode that you will ever hear on a podcast. This is the most important thing you're ever going to hear in your entire life and it's the number one most important thing ever. As soon as you finish with this episode, you can turn it off and you are done. You are complete. You now know everything.

0:35 That is how important frame control is. All right. So just to give you a little warning, this is a difficult, somewhat nebulous concept to grasp. So please make sure that you either listen to this again when you can focus or put things down. Don't multitask and just listen to this because once you understand this concept, your understanding of attraction and your ability to get girls attracted to you, furthermore, your ability to be successful in life, in business, in negotiations, in communication is going to completely change.

1:11 So this is how important frame control is. I worked really hard to put this all down in the notes and get it all down for you. So let's see how I do. All right. So before we begin, we have to understand that there is no hard reality. And what that means is there's no true truth. You could see something one way. I could see it the other way. And really, it's just up to our interpretation. I'm not right. You're not right. Who knows who's right? Okay.

1:41 So an example I like to use with this is like with guns here in the United States. There's so much argument about guns. The right wing people love guns. I have a lot of friends like this here in Colorado who literally carry a gun on them 24 seven think guns are the best thing ever. Then I have other friends who are like totally anti gun. They hate guns. They think they just create violence, more guns, more violence. And then the right wing people think, well, the criminals have guns.

2:05 So I want a gun better to have and not need than need to not have. Well, I have friends who have very strong convictions where this is concerned. And that's the frame through which they're looking at guns. Okay. So imagine it as a picture frame. You're looking out the picture frame. That's your version of reality. But really it's just an interpretation, isn't it? Me, I tend to kind of fall in the middle when it comes to guns. I like guns. They're fun. I have guns. And I also have my concealed carry, which means here in the United States, you can carry it on you concealed like under your shirt.

2:46 Now, what's interesting, especially for people in other countries is most states, especially Colorado, Arizona, probably not California, but those states, you can carry a gun on your hip and you don't need any kind of license for it. People are going to look at you weird. It's not like a lot of people do it. Some do, but conceal carry is big with my friends because then they don't know you have the gun on you. And boom, you got the gun just in case some shit pops off.

3:07 And the way things have been going around here in America, I don't know, dude, sometimes it'd be nice to have a gun the way these goddamn shootings go down. But there I go on a tangent again. Let's get back to frame control. Okay. So who has strong frames? Let's think about this. Remember, a frame is the interpretation of reality, like a picture frame that you're looking through. Okay. Donald Trump, dude has an epically strong frame. Mark Cuban, he's on the show Shark Tank. Another guy from the show Shark Tank, Mr.

3:35 Wonderful. I don't know if you watch it. That guy has the strongest frame ever. And I love watching that guy because he's so convinced of his own reality that nobody can get into his reality. He's so convinced that he is wonderful, that he literally named himself Mr. Wonderful. If you've never watched Shark Tank before, I strongly suggest it. It's an awesome show. And it's also a really good show to learn about business. But he named himself Mr. Wonderful. And because he's so convinced about it, people talk shit about him and he laughs.

4:10 It does not get into his frame. Also, Conor McGregor, he's a UFC fighter. He has an extremely strong frame. He has an extremely strong frame. You can't sway the dude from his beliefs. He knows he's the shit. The way he looks at something is the way it is. And those who have a stronger frame absorb others into their frame. Donald Trump literally absorbed the entire United States nation into his frame. That's how strong it is. They have absolute 100% belief in their interpretation of the world. They can bend reality to their will just based on the conviction of their frame.

4:43 By the way, how you view the world as a victim or a champion will become your reality. Einstein said the most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe. That's so profound. I want to say it again. The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe. If you believe you live in a hostile universe, if you believe everyone's out to get you, that you're a victim, that is going to be a reality.

5:14 Because the frame that you create for yourself becomes your reality. Here's how it works, my friend. You think of the picture, then you paint it, then you step inside of it. Then when you're looking out the frame, that's exactly what you get is the picture you have painted for yourself. When, on the other hand, you believe that you live in a benevolent universe that is a kind universe, a loving God, that deep down all of us are love, and it's just the ego that turns us evil.

5:47 When you believe that, that becomes your reality. By the way, that's my belief. I believe we live in a benevolent universe, a kind universe. I believe there's a purpose for all the hatred and fear and crime and violence. I believe there's a purpose for it. That's a different podcast. But because that's my reality, because that's what I expect from it, that's what I get from it. I get a lot of kindness. I get a lot of joy. I get a lot of happiness. And since, here it is, dude.

6:09 Listen, since you're choosing your reality anyway, don't you agree you might as well choose a reality that serves you? Bro, you're creating it anyway. All your beliefs are created. Whether you create them or your mom gave them to you, your dad gave them to you, it's all created. It's all an illusion. So why not pick the beliefs that work best for you? The only difference between a millionaire and a poor person is his beliefs about money, his feelings about money, his reality about money. So when you shift it and you start thinking and believing and acting and behaving like a millionaire, you will become a millionaire.

6:52 And this is frame. Now here's the most important part of this episode. I know, dude. You're like, really? The most important part of the episode hasn't come yet? No, it hasn't. Because here it is, my friend. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. There it is. The end all be all of your entire existence. A woman cannot become attracted to you unless your interpretation of reality is stronger than hers is. This is what so many dudes get wrong.

7:25 This is why guys supplicate to women. That's why they're reactive to women. That's why they don't get women attracted to them. Your interpretation of reality must be stronger than hers. Just like I tell you to tuck the girl under your wing and make her your little sidekick, you tuck her under your wing there. You need to absorb her into your frame. This is the way women get attracted to you. Here are some attributes of having a strong frame. Okay. This is really important because when I first tell you this, you're thinking to yourself, okay, I need to be stubborn, stalwart, unmovable, unmovable, unmovable, unmovable and basically an asshole so that I can control the frame.

8:00 But that's not right. Here's how it works. Okay. First of all, you're not outcome dependent. If you're trying to get something from her, then you're depending on her reaction and therefore you're being reactive to her actions, aren't you? Okay. I want to say that again. If you're trying to get something from her, her phone number, her sex, a blow job, then you're depending on her reaction. Therefore, you're being reactive to her actions and thus you're buying into her frame, aren't you? You are less emotionally invested in the interaction when you control the frame.

8:33 Okay. So when you have good frame control, you don't care what happens. It's outcome independence. That's frame control. Okay. So if I'm arguing with the dude or I'm having a discussion with the dude and I care less about being right because I'm so convinced that my point is true, then I control the frame. Don't I? So strong frames are not stubborn frames. They're just so ensconced in their own belief system that they don't get emotional. And that's the thing too, is that when you are emotional, it's showing you're off your frame.

9:11 Because if you really believed in your interpretation, nobody could get you off your frame. Somebody says, Oh, you're, you're an idiot, dude. If you are so convinced that you're a champion, that wouldn't bother you, would it? No, you just laugh. You'd be like, whatever, bro. Like if somebody leaves me a bad comment and says, Oh, Mark's a fucking jackass. Dude, I do not care. Does not get into my frame at all. Why? Because my interpretation of my skills as a coach are so convicted that nobody else's frame can impose upon mine.

9:40 Therefore I'm unreactive. Now you're seeing why guys who are unreactive to women are attractive to women because they're controlling the frame. All right, let's continue down this rabbit hole. Okay. So if I'm controlling the frame on you, how do you think my tonality is going to be? If I'm controlling the frame on you, how's my tonality going to be? That's right. It's going to be authoritative, authoritative tonality. So when a cop comes and pulls you over, he doesn't say license and registration, please. No. Like I said, in my other podcast episode, he has an authoritative tone that communicates he's controlling the frame.

10:26 License and registration place. And an authoritative tone, a tone that communicates good frame control has a downward inflection at the end, right? It goes down. Okay. So I always tell you guys this, talk to girls like they're a 13 year old girl on your soccer team. Hey, Kelly, nice shot, right? Don't talk to them like they're above you because that's saying you're controlling the frame. Could I please have sex with you? Could you please accept me? Lead me to the bedroom? You're so pretty. Hey, what's your name?

10:55 Right? It's that supplicatory tone, bro. You need to get rid of that because it communicates a weak frame. When you have a strong frame, you talk to her as if she's that 13 year old girl. I am above you. I am the authority. Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Feminists, relax. I'm not saying we're above women. I'm not saying we're better than them. I'm saying we lead them. You can be equal to somebody and lead them. Me and my girlfriend are equal, completely equal, but I lead her.

11:29 She's better than me at certain things. I'm better than her at certain things. In the relationship, I'm the one who leads. Okay. That's how it works. All right. So here's another point on this. Okay. So, so many of you guys are afraid to talk to girls. Well, let's switch the frame on that. Instead of you being nervous to talk to her, bro, do you know how nervous girls are when a dude approaches them? If you just start approaching girls and just talking to them, bro, not even trying to get anything from them.

11:57 Instead, switching the frame from, I'm trying to get something from you to, I'm interested in you. I'm interested in people. I'm interested in everybody. Hey, who are you? You seem interesting. What's up? What's your name? Bro, you will find that girls are so nervous. They're, they're like body language is all weird. And they're like, you know, they're nervous as fuck because they can't take social pressure. Now that goes into my next point, the ability to take social pressure. Listen to my podcast episode, how to take massive social pressure from girls, because guys who have a strong frame are excellent at taking social pressure.

12:37 When you have a stronger frame than the girl, which again is essential to get her attracted to you. That means that you can take social pressure better than she can. So what does that mean? It means you need to be more relaxed than she is more at ease, more chill with the conversation, less reactive, less trying to get something from her. Just chill. If you could just be normal, like I keep saying when you're talking to a hot girl, that alone is going to get her way more attracted to you than if you were all spazzy and weird and uncomfortable.

13:08 Now here's another important point that I made previously, but it bears repeating. Stubborn frames are not strong frames. Stubborn frames are not strong frames. The guy who is most composed and rooted in his reality is the one who will win every single time. It's like the example I always share. Oftentimes I'll open a girl and I'll be talking to her and her boyfriend will come up. As long as I'm more chill than the boyfriend, more relaxed, less affected by the social pressure situation, I win. And I'll tell you, most of the times guys get pretty butthurt.

13:48 They get a little bit affected. Now here's the thing is that the chick sees that. I've literally opened a girl, talked to her, boyfriend comes over, gets kind of butthurt about it. Not obvious because I think he knows intrinsically, you don't want to show, you know, too much emotion, but he gets a little bit reactive. I'm chill. Dude, I've had girls come up to me and like sneak me their phone number when the boyfriend was in the bathroom or dancing or something like that simply because I showed that I was more composed, less affected, less reactive, and more at ease than he was.

14:16 And therefore she got more attracted to me. So if you have a girlfriend in the future, bro, and some dude's hitting on her, do not fucking react negatively. Be completely chill. Go up and be cool to him. That's the way to handle guys who are hitting on your girlfriend. And if you're hitting on a girl and a dude comes over, be chill, be cool. Be like, what's up, man? What's your name? Oh, it's your girlfriend. Oh, she's, she's super cool, man. Yeah, I was chatting it up with her.

14:47 So what's up? What are you guys up to tonight? And he's like, like, he's a little bit buttered about it. She's getting more attracted to you. And by the way, if you're in a group and she has orbiters with her, and by the way, an orbiter is a friend who's trying to get in with her. It's a guy who's been friend zoned and he's orbiting her planet waiting to get in. Well, dude, you need to be more chill than the orbiters. Cool to them. Take them under their wing.

15:16 Be the higher pecking order, dude. What does the alpha of the gorillas do? He's nice to everybody. He takes care of everybody until of course, somebody flexes up and then he beats them over the head, but he's the one who takes care of because he has the stronger frame. He is unaffected. So important. When you lose emotional control, you give up power. That's such a great quote. When you lose emotional control, you give up power. Okay. So I call it your inner balance point. It's like this interstate of centeredness that you're straddling.

15:47 And if you're thrown off your inner balance point, then you're trying to get back onto it and get yourself back to composure. Women can pick up on that. If she says something mean to you, challenges you, asks you to qualify yourself to her. These are all checks to check your frame. I'll call them frame checks. They're also called shit tests in the pickup community. Now what I'm going to do is since this podcast is getting a little bit long, what I'm going to do is follow up with how to pass shit tests.

16:23 Now that's going to be an exciting episode because I'm going to tell you all kinds of reversals, how to agree and amplify, how to control the frame, how to misinterpret all these really cool frame control reversals. But your understanding of this concept of frame control is the most important thing. And that is once again, the way you view reality through the frame that you view reality will decide whether or not she gets attracted to you. You have to have a stronger interpretation of reality than she does.

16:52 And once again, the person who is less emotional, the person who is less invested in the interaction going one way or the other is the one who wins. Okay. So I want to give you a taste of what you're going to get in the next episode. Girls will often check your frame, right? It's like if you're going to Home Depot and you're going to buy a piece of plywood, you need to check that thing to make sure that it's strong. It's going to work well. Well, girls need to do the same thing.

17:19 It's not immediately obvious at all times, the strength of your frame. So sometimes the girls have to check it because maybe your tonality is a little off, you're incongruent with your body language. So what they do is they say mean things to you. Why are you wearing that shirt? Why don't you have any friends? Why don't you have a girlfriend? Right? So those are frame checks. They're shit tests. She's trying to get you to comply to her. Buy into her frame. Isn't she? She puts out a frame.

17:46 She's trying to get you to buy into it. What do nice guys do? What do guys with weak frames do? They buy into it. Why are you wearing that shirt? Oh, it's Gucci. Look, look, look at the tag. It's Gucci. I don't know. It's really nice. You know, I know it's flashy, but I don't know. I feel like it's in fashion. Dude, you just lost because you bought into her frame. Instead, you want to reframe it. Look, I know you're trying to take off my shirt right now, but relax.

18:12 It isn't the time or the place for that. Okay. Or ignore it completely. Why are you wearing that shirt? So anyway, where are you guys from? Right? You just, your frame, your control of the interaction is so strong that you can just ignore what she says and plow past it and talk about whatever you want. That is having a stronger frame. All right. So I'm going to get way more into these in the next episode. That's going to be really exciting, but I want you to think about this.

18:38 And most of all, I want you to think about how there are frame control battles in every interaction between you and your boss, between you and your coworkers, you and your brother, sister, mom, and dad, you and your friends. Friends do this all the time. It's always frame control battles. And the one who has the strongest frame, do you know what else? He's the one who ascends to be the leader. The guy who has the strongest frame in any social interaction, you get 20 random people together, the dude with the strongest frame is going to become the leader.

19:10 Why? Because people trust in his masculinity. They trust in his frame. Trump, whether you like him or hate him, has one of the strongest frames I've ever seen in my life. You tell him he's an idiot, he finds that laughable. You tell him his policy is dumb, he'll literally laugh because he's so convinced that his version of reality is correct. He's so convinced that he's the shit that nothing can sway his frame. All right, guys. So that wraps up the most important thing when it comes to seduction and that is frame control.

19:40 I'm going to follow up once again with how to pass shit tests, compliant tests, and what I call frame checks. I also wanted to let you guys know that I have decided to release podcasts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm going to be really consistent with it. The downloads are skyrocketing. It seems like the show is getting more and more popular. So I'm going to do a massive push. I've committed to six months of really pushing this. I want to get to a certain download number by the end of those six months.

20:11 So I'm going to be really putting out great content. If you guys have any ideas for shows, if you have any advice even as to my presentation, something I could do differently, or previous podcasts that you'd like better, that you'd like me to stick to, please, man, I'm all ears. I'm all about constructive criticism. I have a strong enough frame where I'm not going to get butt hurt if you give me constructive criticism. And in fact, my frame is so strong that I'm willing to let, that's right, let, L-E-T, other frames encompass upon mine.

20:40 And that's having a strong frame, is being open-minded because your frame is so strong, you're so sure of yourself that you're willing to let other people teach you something. You're willing to let a girl show you something. But the connotation is, hey, I'm letting you do this because I have the stronger frame. I'm the leader. I'm letting you lead it. So this is a lot to think about. Once again, watch interactions, think about your own frame. How can you strengthen it up? How can you be so sure yourself, so confident in your interpretation of reality, and so convinced that your viewpoint is the right viewpoint for you, that other people will get absorbed into your frame, and suddenly women will become attracted to you like never before.

21:28 All right, guys, once again, thank you so much for listening, and I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.