Hilarious Turn-Arounds & Epic Jokes for Girl's Compliance Tests

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP and I gotta be honest with you about something. I'm kind of liking this podcasting thing. Is it because I like the sound of my own voice? Is it because I love to give advice to people? Is it because I can just ramble on and on and on?

0:34 No, none of those reasons. It's because of you. You bro, right now, my brother, I appreciate you. I just looked at the statistics and this podcast has a 90% retention rate. That means that 90% of you guys are listening to the episodes until the very end. So I was doing some research on this and it says that people who listen to podcasts are oftentimes more intelligent, they're oftentimes more educated, and they're oftentimes more apt to be into self-improvement and getting knowledge. So dude, that's a testament to you.

1:10 You're a freaking champion, bro. Smack yourself on the ass. You're a champion. So in this episode, as a thank you, I really want to deliver the goods and I got some zingers for you here, guys. I know you love the replies, the common replies that I've taught you guys to what girls say. And I was actually in my research of the statistics. It's always the ones where I talk about girls that do the best. So I'm going to keep doing that. But becoming a man, getting your masculine instincts in check, and becoming a superior version of yourself does require other philosophies other than women.

1:45 So we're going to continue talking about self-development kind of stuff. But it's funny because you guys love the girls stuff. Those have the highest retention rate. So I'm really going to give you some kick-ass information on this one. So in this, we are going to talk about agree and amplify. Okay. This is a frame control element that basically when a woman challenges you, which as we all know, women are apt to do, when they test you, they say mean things to you, they send out a qualifier expecting you to jump through their hoops and explain yourself to them.

2:21 What we do is we agree and amplify to pass the test. Now, as you listen to these, I want to put a caveat out there. These are all in good fun. Okay. You're just teasing her. You're busting her chops. You're making a joke out of it. And what they're designed to do is to make her laugh. So if she says something mean to you and you turn it around and you actually make her laugh, that passes it every single time. Why? Because it goes down to all those elements that I discussed in my previous podcast.

2:51 You are unaffected. You are unreactive. You are on your inner balance point. And she can't say anything to get you off of it. So if you say something mean to me and I make a joke out of it, a self-deprecating joke, which means insulting myself, but making it very funny, then I'm going to pass the little test that you threw out. But if you say something mean to me and I react and I get all butthurt and pissed off about it, then I don't pass, do I?

3:15 So not only can you use these with girls, but I want you guys to use these with your friends too, because guys bust each other's chops all the time. And the way to win those battles is to insult yourself more than the guy actually insulted you or to turn it around on them. Now, judging by the amount of content that I have in this podcast, I'm going to do a second podcast on the other elements of how to pass these frame checks. But trust me, this one is really good.

3:44 It's called Agree and Amplify. So without further ado, let's jump into it. All right. So many times girls will say to me, you're a player, aren't you? Okay. So agree. Yes, I am a player. I hook up with everyone. Grandma's midgets. Listen, if there's a hole, I'm going for it. If it's a girl with the hole, it's on. I don't care what she looks like, how old she is. It's on. Okay. That's what I'll often say. Make them crack up a little bit. Or I misinterpret what she says.

4:15 You're a player, aren't you? Yep. I play right midfield on my soccer team. I'm really good. My passing is perfect, dude. I have like one assist this whole year. I'm epic at soccer. She kind of cracks up. So that's misinterpretation. I'm going to do an episode that includes misinterpretation, but that's an example of it. How many phone numbers did you get tonight? Girls always ask me that. And you've probably heard me say that, but if not, this is brilliant. I got nine numbers tonight, one more, and I would have had a full phone number.

4:46 Sometimes girls will ask like, why are you talking to us? Don't you have any friends? Now, if she says that to you and you don't know about this whole frame control thing, that could be pretty hurtful, right? You're like, dude, fuck you, right? But dude, she's just testing you. And oftentimes women test us because they are interested. So I want you to keep that in mind. When a girl throws out a test to you, do not under any circumstance get butthurt about it. Remember, agree and amplify.

5:10 So she's like, don't you have any friends? Why are you talking to us? Well, I usually pay people to hang out with me, but I spent all my money this month betting at the Mexican midget rodeo. And often that'll make them laugh. Why don't you have a girlfriend? That's one you're going to get a lot. So agree with it and amplify. Because I'm a horrible kisser. I do the helicopter tongue maneuver. And for some reason, no girls ever like it. I actually just said that to a girl today.

5:35 It was at a hat store. I was getting this custom hat made. I was getting my logo put onto my hat. And she's like, how did it go, dude? I was like, why don't you have a boyfriend? Is it because you're a bad kisser? And she's like, no, you know, I'm just really picky. She's like, well, why don't you have a girlfriend? Now, obviously I do. But I was just messing with it. And I was like, well, because I'm a horrible kisser. I do the jackhammer tongue maneuver.

5:59 For some reason, no girls ever like it. Dude, she loved it, man. She was cracking up. So this stuff really does work. Or you could say, and I'll do this sometimes, especially at the night clubs. If she's like, why don't you have a girlfriend? I'll be like, well, it's because I'm rocking a millimeter Peter. I named him the angry inch. He's small, but he's angry. Watch out for his wrath. And then I'll take my thumb and I'll be like, watch out. The angry inch is coming to get you.

6:26 And she'll always laugh. So if she asks you, do you have a big dick? Be like, hell no, dude. Millimeter Peter, the angry inch. He's coming to get you. And it always cracks him up because obviously you're not going to say you have an angry inch if indeed you're packing. Now, if you do have an angry inch, huh? I've never thought about that. I guess just do the same thing. Just admit it. Just be like, yeah, I named him the angry inch. He's small, but he's angry.

6:50 Watch out for his wrath. He's coming to get you. Always cracks him up. Okay. Next up, use your too short. I have a lot of clients who are insecure about their height. They think that they're too short for girls, but as a general rule, as long as you're slightly taller than the girl, you should be fine. Even if you're like 5'6", and she's 5'5", that's perfectly fine. And I've seen guys pull girls that are taller than them, as long as you completely accept your height. As long as you own it, you accept it, you're proud of it, you don't make it an issue, you're not insecure about it.

7:24 And if a girl says to you, you're too short, you take it as a compliment. You say, ah, thank you. I'm trying to achieve my lifelong dream of being a horse jockey. So I appreciate the compliment. Thank you. And that's agree and amplify. You're too short. Yeah, I'm trying to join the freak show and become a midget. I'm almost there. I just have to shrink a couple more inches and then I can join the freak show as a midget. Thanks for the compliment. See how that works?

7:55 Unaffected. You're too tall. That's an objection that some guys get, basketball players, et cetera. You could say this. I know. I'm so tall. I walk outside and birds hit me in the head. Sometimes the FAA makes me wear a hat with like a red blinking light on it so planes don't run into my head. You're too fat. Thank you. I've been trying to pack on the pounds to keep me warm during these cold winter months. I appreciate the compliment. You're too muscular. I know. I have to turn and shuffle sideways just to get through doors.

8:23 Every morning when I hit the gym, I just focus on one muscle group. So tomorrow morning, I'm doing all left calf. If it's not an issue for you, then it will not be an issue for her. Remember that. If you completely accept it, then she will too. Why? Because she's going to buy into your frame. And as we talked about in the last episode, your version of reality has to be stronger than hers. If you can joke about her objection, then she'll find it laughable too.

8:52 And boom, you'll move right past it. Literally guys, I have seen it where a girl will be super bitchy to me or one of my students or one of my friends and they'll pass the shit test with one of these agree and amplify strategies. And then boom, she's immediately attracted. That's how powerful this is. You're too skinny. I know when I take a shower, I have to be super careful where I stand because I don't want to slip down the drain. That happened to my dad and we haven't seen him in 10 years.

9:18 You're gay. All right. I talked about this a few episodes ago. Do you remember what the correct answer is? Agree. Yes, I am gay. And amplify. I'm so gay. I gave 200 blowjobs yesterday. My jaw is so sore. Passes it every single time. I have one client who I was talking to the other day and he's Indian. He's from India and girls always tell him he looks Spanish. So I told him to say, yeah, I am Spanish. I'm a Spanish man trapped inside an Indian man's body.

9:47 Do you want to hear me speak some Spanish? And she'll be like, yes. And then he speaks like really bad Spanish. He's like, donde esta la casa del Pepe? And then she laughs, right? So if a girl ever accuses you of being a different ethnicity or you get these kinds of objections, think about how you can swing it and actually make it funny. All right. For the same Indian guy, he was worried because some white chicks, according to him, don't date Indian guys. That's an objection.

10:17 Her objection might be, I'm sorry, but I don't date Indian guys. You know what? I think that's a wise decision because it's very well known. If you date an Indian guy, you start to talk like this. Hello, my name is Sarah. I am very pleased to meet you. You enjoy myself. And then she'll crack up, right? So I don't know how good my Indian accent was, but you see what I'm saying there is it just agree and amplify it. If you're Japanese living in America, just be like, haro, nice to meet you.

10:45 Or you're Chinese, do something that's like racist against yourself and just make it into a big joke. Once again, if it's not an issue for you, it's not going to be an issue for her. When I was in Japan, the girls would always comment on how long my legs were. So what did I do? I'd point to my chest and be like, yeah, my belly button is right here. And I point in between my pecs and that always crack them up because I'm willing to make fun of myself.

11:12 And a guy who's willing to make fun of himself is in essence, extremely confident. Okay. You're too old. This is one that I get sometimes. And oftentimes what I'll do is I'll flip it on them and I'll say, it's okay. You don't have to feel young. A lot of times, young girls have great personalities are really smart. So don't be insecure about it. I'll flip it on them. That's actually what I'm going to do in my next episode is teach you the art of reframing the dark art of frame control, which is epic, but that's an example of it.

11:39 Okay. We're going to get into that in the next episode or a couple episodes from now. Okay. You're too old. I know if we ever hung out, you'd be prancing in front of me, ready to go to some nightclub. And I'd be on my walker with tennis balls stuck to the bottom saying, Sarah, wait up for me, Sarah. I can't keep up. I've got a bad hip. So I'll do that. Sometimes I'll say, yeah, I'm in the walker. I got my walker right now at the coat check.

12:02 I'm barely standing up right now. I got a bad hip. Don't ask to dance with me because I'm so old. I might break my hip out there and they always crack up. So again, no issue for me, no issue for her. You're too young. Well, if we ever hung out, then at least my mom wouldn't have to pay for a babysitter. Just promise you won't put me to bed before nine o'clock because I like to stay up late and play video games. Some girls, and I've heard this myself say, you will never have a chance with me.

12:34 Like you'll go up to a girl and be like, Hey, and she'll be like, I'm sorry. There's no chance. Now what you can do is you can amplify her frame. You can be like, yeah, I like this like strong attitude you have. You know what? I'm going to hire you to be my bodyguard. What's your rate? I'm ready to pay it. And I've passed a frame check like that. I remember once in Vegas, this girl did this to me. You will never have a chance with me.

12:55 It's like, I like that attitude. You're tough, dude. I'm going to hire you to be my bodyguard. How much do you charge? Do you know karate? What do you know? What you got? And then she just bought into it. She kind of started laughing and we started talking and the rest of the night went just fine. Okay. So once again, agree and amplify, amplify even her frame. Okay. We're not having sex tonight. Many of us have heard this as men. What you want to do is agree with it and amplify it.

13:22 So we're not having sex tonight. You know what? I'm so glad you said that because I still have to ask my doctor if my heart is healthy enough for sex. If she says something like, you're just trying to have sex tonight, aren't you? You'd be like, you know what, Sarah, bringing up sex this early in our friendship actually isn't the best way to seduce me. I need trust, comfort, and connection first. So relax over there, seductress. Perfect way to pass that one. All right. And finally, the end all be all, one of my favorite ones.

13:57 And I wish more girls would say this to me because I love saying it back to them is when they say, why are you wearing XYZ clothing? Why are you wearing that shirt? Why are you wearing those pants? Dude, when I was really into gaming, I used to wear a silly shirt, peacocking as they call it, like back in the early 2000s. But I used to wear a silly shirt just so that girls would say this to me and I could say the following, you know what?

14:20 I know you're trying to get me undressed right now, Sarah, but this isn't the time or the place for that. Relax. All right, guys. So that's one way to respond to frame checks is to agree and amplify. There are three other ways to respond to frame checks that I'm going to teach you in subsequent episodes. But the most important thing to remember here is that you are unaffected. I know I keep drumming on this. I'm beating the dead horse, but I see so many guys get butter in the nightclubs.

14:46 I see so many guys get emotional and that's a big reason that they're failing to attract women. As long as you don't care, she's not going to care either. There's almost no objection that she can make that will hold if you respond correctly to it. And what I mean is if you're fat and she calls you out on it, which some girls will, bro, like girls are going to be brutal to you. They have a way of discovering your biggest insecurity and just flicking it just like a nerve that's hanging out of your head and they just fricking flick it with their fingernail and it hurts.

15:18 But if you get reactive, I'm telling you, man, you're going to blow yourself out. But even if you're fat and you completely accept it and you make it into a joke, she's going to accept it too. It's a non-issue. Remember, the most important thing about your attraction is what's going on inside your head and your unconditional, unrelenting, unapologetic acceptance of yourself for who you are, how you are, and why you are. Me and my buddies always used to say, dude, who is this guy? And then we'd say, what is this guy?

15:51 And then we'd say, why is this guy? Dude, why is this guy? I always thought that was pretty funny. All right, man. So I thank you so much for listening. If you want to get some one-on-one coaching, I am out to a pretty big waiting list. I think it's like nine weeks now. I've been getting tons and tons and tons of clients from this podcast, but I absolutely love you guys. And like I said, if you say that you came from the UMP, I will ask you.

16:18 So if you order, I'm going to send you a questionnaire. I'm going to be like, hey man, where'd you find me? If you say you came from the UMP, I specifically leave some spots open each week for guys like you. So I could slip you in there. My schedule is somewhat flexible. So when I say I have a waiting list, that applies to where I get clients from elsewhere. So my other advertising avenues, but when it comes to you guys, you really are close to my heart.

16:40 We are brothers. I think of you guys as a friend. I feel like we're sitting here having a conversation. We know each other. We're bros. So when you hit me up, man, I'm going to be super fired up. I love hearing from you guys. You guys are from all over the world. Clients from Ireland, Australia, tons from the United States, Mexico, Kenya. What did I have one from Topanga and Tobago or whatever? I forget what that it's called, but it's, I didn't even know where it was.

17:09 It's like down off of Brazil or something, but I had a client from there and all you guys are just super cool. It seems like podcasting just attracts the coolest clients ever. So really appreciate you. Check out my coaching website, coachmarksing.com. Once again, that's coach, M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G.com, or you can click it down there in the show notes. Also, dude, please leave me a review. It's crazy. I've been getting more and more reviews. And even though I'm offering to send you guys stuff, like some of you dudes aren't hitting me up.

17:41 Like I got like four iTunes reviews last week and I don't think even one of you guys hit me up, letting me know. But dude, if you left me a review or you leave me a review, email me, coachmarksing at gmail.com. I will send you two programs. And if you're like, I don't like to read, let me know. I'll send you a couple of my videos. I have a, I have a video series that I used to sell for $4.97 and I'll send you a couple of those videos from that series.

18:02 So I just want to help you out, bro. So hit me up, especially if you help me out by giving me a review, man. I want to reward that. I want to smack you upside the head and be like, you're my guy right here, dude. Thank you so much. All right, man. Thank you so much for listening. I will have more great content coming for you. I got lots more to say about frame control, some really exciting stuff, some really funny turnarounds, and I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.