GIRL TRAPS: 5 Pitfalls Women Set Out in Dating & Relationships

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. Today, we are talking about five pitfalls that women set out in dating in relationships. And if you're a woman listening, relax, bro. I'm a men's dating coach. So obviously, I need to talk about what women do. But make no mistake, guys do shit too.

0:35 And all the guys listening will probably nod their heads to this one. What we usually do is just try to hit it and quit it when a girl is just hot enough that we want to get in and maybe see her cute butt or her fake tits. And we're like, ah, that's a one dip skip. I'm going to hit that once and then quit it. And this is why, unfortunately for women, they have to do some of the things that I'm going to talk about today, boys, is because us as guys, we use women, man.

1:03 I've done it. You've done it. Hell, even I've done it. And that obviously is the biggest pitfall that men set out for women. But on this one, we're talking about girls and the kind of shit that they do. Before I jump into the content, just want to give a quick shout out to all the amazing clients that have been coming into my coaching program. I recently got a really good batch of just good fucking dudes. And I get on the calls with these guys because as you know, I am giving away a free one-on-one breakthrough session.

1:35 I get on the calls with these guys and they just really impress me just how much perseverance they've shown, how much they want to improve themselves. So I want to give a shout out to all you boys who are in the coaching program and to those new warriors who have recently joined. All right, guys. Another thing I want to ask you guys to do is I get often emails where people are like, hey, bro, thank you so much for this information. This is like free therapy.

1:55 You're really changing my life. Is there anything I can do for you? So I actually want to ask you guys for a favor. I just started a YouTube channel where I'm posting my podcasts. And obviously YouTube is a good place for me to get more clients, get more exposure. But in order to do that, I need to get subscribers. I need people to like my videos. So I left the link in the description below. So if you guys could please do me a kindness and click that link, go over to YouTube and subscribe to that podcast channel.

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2:59 So if you could like listen to them slash watch a few of them, leave a like, leave a comment, I will reply to it. I'd very, very much appreciate it. Right now it just has a couple of subscribers. I'd love if like a thousand of you guys could go over there and do that for me. I'd really, really appreciate it. All right, let's go ahead and jump into the content. So girl traps, five pitfalls that women set out in dating relationships. A lot of you guys are on the dating apps and you get this question all the time.

3:25 What are you looking for? Now, the reason women ask that is because as I mentioned previously, we as dudes will often use women. We want to hit it and quit it. She's like a one dip skip and you're just not into it to stick with it longer. And this usually happens to sevens, sixes, and sometimes eights, very rarely with nines. But girls who are getting a little bit older, girls who maybe aren't as attractive as some of the other women on the dating apps will always ask this question.

3:58 Why is that? It's because they've been used. They've had their time wasted by dudes time and time again. So if you were in that situation, you'd ask that too. And it's basically like, Hey, what are you looking for? Are you trying to get in a relationship or are you just looking to have fun? Which basically means, are you going to have sex with me and leave me after a couple sexual experiences as so many guys have done? So that's the reason they ask you and they're very justified to do so.

4:27 But here's how you answer it. You say, I'm looking for a long-term relationship. Now I know immediately when I say that boys, you're thinking like, well, no, I'm not. I want to play the field. Well, if you really look at it, you kind of are because if you meet your dream woman, a girl who completely does it for you, you would settle down with her and you would get into an LTR. And that's what you should say. You should say, I'm looking for an LTR. However, relationships that start fast and fast.

4:54 So I prefer to take it slow and see what happens. If that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. Just let me know. So basically what you're telling her is, look, I'm looking for a long-term relationship and I'm not going to settle down with a girl after like the second date. Obviously it takes some time to get to know somebody. So you say, I'm looking for an LTR, which is exactly what she wants to hear, but relationships that start fast and fast. So I want to take it slow and see where it goes.

5:29 This will let her know that you are serious, but you have to get to know her first. And then that's going to qualify as the kind of answer she's looking for. It tells her what she wants to hear. But at the same time, you don't have to jump through her hoop and like be her boyfriend within like three dates, if that makes sense. So that's the way you deal with that one. All right. Another thing that's always a red flag or a pitfall when it comes is when a woman says, I want to be loved unconditionally.

5:54 I want to be loved unconditionally. And I would always see this on the dating apps. Now we all want to be loved unconditionally and there's nothing wrong with that statement, but oftentimes, and this isn't true for all women, but many, it basically means, yo, I'm a train wreck. I'm a dumpster fire. Just love me. And I'm not going to try to change. I'm not going to try to work on myself. I just want you to love me and accept me. And many times women say this, as far as my experience dictates, they make their problems, your problem.

6:23 What's the first thing we as humans try to do with the problem, make it somebody else's. So when I hear these words, I want to be loved unconditionally, like when they straight out say it, because we don't want that. But when they say it, it's a big pitfall for me because it shows that her life is probably a mess. She's an absolute train wreck, maybe, and I'm not fucking dealing with it. So look out for that, especially when they put it in the dating apps. Like, dude, why would you put that?

6:55 Because some guy in the past has loved you quote unquote conditionally and blew you out because you're a fucking dumpster fire and he didn't want to deal with it. So look out for that one. All right. So those first two are things you're going to mostly get on the dating apps. And now we're talking about on dates. Okay. So you're dating this girl and you get the old no sex tell commitment speech, right? Like we're not having sex until X, Y, Z. I want to get to know you better.

7:21 Yada, yada, yada. Now, I actually think that that's okay that women do this because as we spoke about previously, women get used a lot. So you do this too. If really your trump card was your vagina and you found out through experience that once a guy gets that he's often out like sauerkraut, he's off like a prom dress. And usually this happens to sevens or girls who we might refer to as a butter face. Everything's good, but her face. And we've all seen that where it's just like, damn, she's got a banging body.

7:55 But that schnoz, bro, dude, she can smell the coffee of our next door neighbor first thing in the morning. I just can't get past the schnoz, dude. Like if she walks through a doorway and turns her head to look left, she's going to get caught in the door because that thing is so big. But damn, her ass is perfect. Perfect belly, perfect tits. I really want to hit that and quit it. So this girl through experience, she's no idiot. She's going to be like, look, we're not having sex until there's some kind of commitment here until we're actually together.

8:23 So it's a pitfall in one way because a lot of guys will buy into it. And then unfortunately, unknown to her, she's actually going to lose attraction for him because she set out a hoop that he jumped through. And now she's less likely to give up the sex. And it's a pitfall in another way because you're not getting the sex. So this is a major one. Girls do it to guys all the time. Here's the solution. First of all, guys, you are telegraphing way too much that you're trying to get sex.

8:51 The way you get a woman to give you her sex is to pretend like you're not even trying to get it. And this is why on the first date, I'll make out with the girl and then I'll push her away and say, hey, that's enough for tonight. Let's go ahead and get you an Uber or let's go ahead and get you back to your car and get you going. So immediately from the first date, I'm the one who pulls physical escalations away. Okay, so I'll ramp it up attraction, attraction, attraction.

9:17 On a high note, I'll make out with her a little bit. Then right when it's starting to get really hot and serious, I'm going to cut it off and say, hey, that's it for tonight. I got to wake up early tomorrow or we don't really know each other. So let's slow this down. When you're the one to do that, like LMR, which is last minute resistance, rarely happens. And the whole I'm not having sex until commitment rarely happens as well. Because women throw that out there because like I said, so many dudes are super thirsty.

9:44 They're trying to get into her underwear. So when you're the one who pulls it away first, she's going to think like, oh, I can trust this dude. Okay, so that's the first step. If you still get the whole like no sex till commitment thing, just agree with it and then start pulling away. Or if she throws the whole like, I'm not having sex until we're married shit, bro, that's up to you to decide. But between you and me, I feel that you can't really get to know somebody, especially a woman who you're going to be in a relationship with until you've had sex.

10:16 Because to me, sex is one of the most important pillars of a happy relationship. And it's really important. Like if I had to choose four pillars, one of those would be sex, right? Another one would be like communication, spiritual connection, and then just working as far as like your attitudes and morals are concerned. But like sex is one of the pillars. So I've actually had women tell me like, I'm not having sex till marriage. And I'm like, you know what, I respect that. But to me, to really get to know somebody, to really be intimate with somebody, both spiritually and emotionally, you have to be physically intimate as well.

10:49 So if that's a deal breaker for you, then it's a deal breaker for me and we should part ways. So my strategy when it comes to sex is I'm not trying to get it. I'm not thirsty for it. It'll happen if it happens. And I'm the one to pull away when we first start getting physical. Then if she pulls any bullshit about we need a commitment, I'll pull away and I'll be like, yeah, totally cool. Actually, you're saying we need three months before we can have sex.

11:18 Let's let's go ahead and push that out to six months because I don't know you. You know, I don't know if I can trust you. You're probably just going to use me for my sex and leave me the way all other girls do. So let's go ahead and wait to six months. So what you do is when a girl puts like an ensconced position, you don't want to resist it. It's kind of like you're trying to move a boat, right? Like there's a boat in the sea and it's going one way and you want to switch its direction.

11:43 Do you just ram that fucker from the side? No, because you're going to destroy it and your own boat and you guys are both going to sink. What you do is you go next to it, which means going along with it, matching what it says, and then slowly moving it incrementally with time. Well, matching it means agreeing with what she says. Say, you know what? That's a really good policy, but I think like three months is a little short. Let's go ahead and pop that up to five.

12:10 No sex until five months. And furthermore, I think we should make out a little bit less. So I'm going to go ahead and deprive you of that too. So what you're doing is you're taking her frame, making your own, making it worse. I want you to control that red helmeted warrior in your pants and say, no little fucker, stand down Sergeant Horny. I'm playing chess here, not checkers. And what we're going to do is we are going to deprive her of it, thus making her want it more.

12:38 And probably sex is going to happen even sooner. Now, if she pulls the whole not tell marriage thing, then you say, you know what? I'm out because to me, getting to know somebody includes having sex with them. Of course, for you listening, brother, unless you agree with that, then you're good to go. No sex till marriage. Honestly, I don't understand it. I would never in a million years do that, but I can respect your morals if that's what you think is necessary in order to get into heaven.

13:01 No comment on that. But if that's what you believe, so be it, brother. Do your thing. I respect it. All right. The next one is asking for favors. And this is such a huge pitfall that usually happens on the first date or in the first conversation with the girl. She's going to ask you for a little favor. Now, the reason women do this is because she's testing your boundaries. She's trying to see if you're going to be a floor mat, just like all the other schleps that have tried to get her endearment by doing her favors.

13:35 As you've probably learned, if you listen to my podcast for any amount of time, doing favors for women is one of the best ways to land your ass in the friend zone. Friend zone prison, you're never getting out 23 and one, 23 hours of solitary confinement and one hour outside to play some basketball in a fucking cage. That's what your life looks like when you do chicks favors. So from the very first conversation, pay attention to this now. From the very first conversation, she's going to ask you for little compliance tests.

14:03 Compliance means, are you going to comply with her request? It's also called hoop theory. She's going to try to make you jump through hoops. Now, most guys quite logically are going to say, well, if I do her favor, she's going to like me. But the way it works in the female mind is if you do me favors, then you've bought into my frame. You're complying to what I asked and I don't respect you. And this, by the way, is why guys don't get sex in marriage.

14:34 Guys end up in the friend zone. Guys are basically floor mats to women. So it's very simple. Every time she asks you for a favor, you make her do a little favor for you first. She says, can you please get me a napkin from the bar? You say, yeah, for sure. Make a donkey noise first. She's going to be like, what? You'd be like, yeah, come on. Let's hear your best donkey noise. And she's like, right? And then you look at her and you'd be like, oh my God, I just learned everything I needed to know about you.

15:00 Wait right here. I'm going to go get your napkin. So you make her jump through a hoop first. This is a pitfall women set out to men because she's trying to test your boundaries. Are you the kind of guy who's going to be a lapdog? Are you going to jump through her hoops? Is she going to be the one who controls the frame and the interaction? And on a wider scale, can you take care of her? What's your level of survivability? Can you lead her to where she wants to be led?

15:26 That's the way they do it. They ask you for favors. So when they do remember the general principle for every favor, she asks you, you have to make her do a favor for you first, particularly when you can tell it's a test. Now, a lot of guys misinterpret what I say. And I get emails like this doesn't make sense. It's like, come on, bro. Like use your brain, dude. If she like flies off a cliff when she's driving home from Arizona to California and like rolls down the mountain, she calls you, she's half dead, bleeding out of her eyeball.

15:54 And she's like, can you come get me? You're just 15 minutes away and I'm dying here. And you're like, ask me in an Australian accent first, you stupid ass hoe. That's not the right way to do it, bro. Like use your brain. When it's a blatant test, you make her jump through her hoop first. When she's dying and her eyeball is bleeding, you can go do her the favor. Take off your underwear, wrap it around her eyeball, make sure she lives. All right. The fifth pitfall, and I actually have a few bonus ones here for y'all because I always over deliver, is asking you to buy her a drink or asking you for a really nice dinner when you go on the first date.

16:32 Okay. So if a girl asks you to buy her a drink in the nightclubs, do you think you should do it? If you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time, that is a resounding no from the unapologetic man army. And you are absolutely fucking right. The way I do it is I have a little game with her. And I say, if I win the game, you buy me a drink. If you win the game, I'll buy you a drink deal. You could do thumb wars.

16:53 You could do a thing where you drop a dollar bill between her fingers. And if she catches it, she wins. If she doesn't, you win. You could do slap hands. You could get seeds from a lemon that you find on the bar and see who could shoot it further out of their fingertips. You turn it into a little game. And then whoever wins the game gets the drink bought for them. This will not only earn her respect, but you'll also get to enjoy a drink with her and then get to know her better as you do so.

17:20 Girls who try to get you to take them on nice dates. Like, hey, can you take me to this restaurant, that restaurant? Do you guys think you should be taking chicks to super expensive dates? That's right, bro-tendo. You absolutely should not, bro-J Simpson, bro-tado salad, bro-fessor, because you're a fucking legend and your nice dates must be earned. Your first date, you should get out for about 20 bucks, somewhere cool, eclectic, such as like a tapas place or like a bar at happy hour or anywhere else that's kind of like a cool vibe, but you're not dropping a lot of money on her.

17:53 Now, what if she orders the freaking triple-decker margarito Jose Cuervo honey-dipped Benjamin Franklin vodka bomb? I just pulled that out of my ass. I have no idea what it is. I don't drink, so I don't know a lot about liquor. What if she does that? Okay, as you're on the date, she freaking goes to the expensive one and says, hey, I want this $45 freaking bottle of wine or whatever. You're like, well, take it easy there. We hardly know each other. Go ahead and get something a little bit more affordable.

18:21 And then, you know, in the future, if that makes sense, we'll go ahead and do it. So you set the boundary. You're not going to let her order that freaking double lobster steak, surf and turf, $563 five course meal platter. Like that ain't happening, dude. And you are allowed as the man, since you are paying, and yes, boys, you should pay for the first date. You're allowed to tell her like, hey, hey, take it easy. Okay. We hardly know each other. Go ahead and order something else.

18:47 And I know a lot of you guys are like, yeah, but then she's going to think I'm cheap, bro. It's better that she thinks you're cheap, which is her right to think so than for her to think she can walk all over you and do whatever the fuck she wants to do. When you set the boundary that is going to spike attraction a thousand times more than you trying to blow smoke up her ass by buying her some expensive five course meal or a super expensive drink or take her on a super nice date.

19:13 I see guys all the time taking these chicks out to like these really nice dates, like $500 dates and tell her to get all dressed up and try to wine and dine her and impress her. And then they don't get laid. Why is that? Because if you do that, it shows you have a lack of options. It shows that she's so important to you that you're going to spend all this money, but you hardly know her. So it makes you look less valuable in her eyes. Whereas if you take her out to a cheaper date, and I'm not saying McDonald's here, I'm saying someplace cool, a good vibe, someplace she's never been to before, hopefully, when you take her to that date and you get out for $20, it shows that this guy probably goes on a lot of dates.

19:51 He has lots of options. His nice dates must be earned. And when you're willing to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy on the old steak tomahawk meal, which is like $530. Let's go ahead and order from this side of the menu. It shows her that you have boundaries. And that's what women are always looking for is a dude with boundaries, a dude who's willing to say no to her in the right way, which of course I talk about ad nauseam in this podcast, as well as in my coaching.

20:18 All right, a couple of bonus ones as I wrap this up is, guys, be careful for Tinder dates that seem too good to be true. Because there is a thing and it happens very rarely. But I feel it's my duty as a dating coach to protect my boys, the unapologetic man army, where girls will set dudes up in order to rob them. And maybe even some of you listening have had this happen to you. And perhaps you're too embarrassed to admit it. I know it happens.

20:43 No need to tell me about it. I do understand. But sometimes they'll get like a really hot girl on Tinder, agree to have a date, meet at a certain place, and then a bunch of thugs come and rob you. Now, again, this is really rare. I don't want to make you guys paranoid. But just be logical. Like use your due diligence and trust your intuition. If you're like, dude, this chick is way too hot. She seems way too interested. She seems way too eager to like get me on this date.

21:09 Like what the fuck is happening here? Don't do it, man. Like trust your intuition, your intuition knows. And then also like girls trying to get you over to their fucking Snapchat, their OnlyFans, like all this bullshit where these girls just seem too eager, nix them. It's just par for the course. It's what you're going to get on the dating apps. But use logic, use common sense. Is this girl like retardedly hotter than the usual girls you get dates with? Does she seem super eager and friendly and like flirting with you out of nowhere?

21:41 Use your logic and don't go meet her in some alleyway behind a liquor store in South Central Los Angeles where all the lights are shot out when you pull up in your car and you're like, man, this is, this is a weird place to meet her. But God, she's hot, bro. She said she's going to suck my dick. And then suddenly it's like, break yourself. And suddenly you're getting robbed, right? And you're like, God damn it. My red helmeted warrior has steered me wrong yet again.

22:01 Use your brain, boys. The one in your head, not in your penis. All right. And the last one I want to talk about is purposeful pregnancy in order to hold on to you. Dude, this has happened to me a couple of times where thank God she didn't get pregnant. But I want to tell a super quick 30 second story of a friend I knew in Hawaii whose mom purposely poked holes in the condoms of his dad where they were just casually dating. She fell in love with the guy.

22:33 She poked holes in the condom, gave it to him. They had sex. And then my friend was born out of that psychotic situation. I actually met his mom and dude, she was fucking crazy. Like dumpster fire times a thousand. So women will sometimes use pregnancy and guys will do psycho shit too. Like, don't get me wrong. If you're a female listening, believe me, I've seen some psychopathic dudes, but we're talking about women here. Some women will use pregnancy in order to hold on to a guy.

23:03 It's happened to me about three times where the chick thought she was pregnant. And I was like, well, what are we going to do? And she's like, I'm keeping it. I want to keep you. I'm keeping it. And then it turned out that she wasn't pregnant. And then, dude, I was out, bro. I was off like a prom dress. I'm out of there, dude. Because if this girl's going to do that, what other kind of psycho shit is she going to do? And women, man, when they get super in love with you, you know, and guys do now, but people, I should say, will do some psycho ass shit.

23:33 So be careful who you let into your life. Do a thorough vetting process. Don't always show them your home on the first, second, or third date. Like, honestly, you have to be smart about these things and just kind of feel the person out. You know, if they're talking about how they took revenge on their ex-best friend by throwing a Molotov cocktail into her open garage that she drove by, you should use your common sense and be like, okay, maybe I don't want to get mixed up with this person.

23:59 So on the first date, to me, the first date is a really good time to vet these girls, kind of figure out what their morals are. And I'll tell you, if they're stabbing other people in the back, if they're lying to others, if they're stealing shit, if they're basically talking shit or even gossiping, major red flag for me. Because if they're doing it to that person, you can damn well be sure they're going to do it to you too. So what I always look for is the strength of the person's spirit, the person's heart, the person's integrity before I'm ever going to commit to them, even have sex with them, right?

24:31 Is you need to really vet people because there is a lot of fucking psychos and not just women, but men too. And this can go down even to your friends. You got to be very careful who you surround yourself with, do your due diligence and watch out for these five, and I should say seven pitfalls that I reviewed for you today. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. Please, right now, if you could please help me out, bro, go to my YouTube channel. There's a link right below.

24:58 Just scroll down. There you go. Please click on that link. Just subscribe to it. Maybe watch a couple videos, like them, leave some comments. I will reply to every single comment I get. I only have like literally a couple of subscribers right now. I would love to get it to over a thousand subscribers. So if you guys could please do that for me, I'd really appreciate it. Once again, it's called the Unapologetic Man Podcast with Mark Singh, and you can watch it simply on YouTube, which for a lot of you will be even easier than listening to it on the podcast app you happen to be on.

25:24 Another way you can enjoy my content. Thank you, gentlemen, so much for listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.