IDENTITY HACKING ::: The Olympian Secret to Rapid Self Improvement!

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. Can you tell there's a difference in my sound? That's because I just got a new MacBook Pro. I'm hoping it sounds pretty good. Trying to flex up a little bit, boys, trying to improve this podcast. But just as I'm feeling really good, I'm outside flying my airplane.

0:33 I like RC stuff. RC stands for remote control. I like cars. I like boats. I like helicopters. And I got this little plane off Amazon. Dude, this thing is badass, man. It was like 125 bucks. Thing flies so goddamn good. It's made out of like styrofoam, right? So I'm flying this thing outside my home and my three-year-old girl just loves this shit. So she's sitting there and she's like, fly it past my head, daddy. Fly it past my head. Dude, what do you think happened? That's right.

1:01 I hit her in the fucking face with my plane. And the thing was hauling butt, dude. It was like going downwind. And I drop in from about 35,000 feet in a dive bomb strafe mission. And dude, I fucking hit her in the face. I am such a terrible person. I am a terrible father for you guys who have kids. It's like you want to protect your kids from things. And then when you're the dude who hurts them, you just feel like a complete and utter jackass. So publicly, I want to apologize for my daughter.

1:30 Fortunately, the wing just kind of went off her ear basically. And she just lost her mind, bro. I felt so unbelievably horrible, but like there was kind of a gust of wind. Like I thought I was just going to zoom right past her head. Next thing you know, the thing is just careening off her goddamn face and she's screaming bloody murder. And I'm the asshole. And then I had to tell Marissa about it. Marissa just looks at me. She's like, why are you flying the plane past our daughter's head?

1:58 Like, and I was like, cause she liked it, man. You know, she was super into it. She's like more and more get it closer and closer. And eventually you hit him in the face. So we all make mistakes, boys. Those of you who think I'm Mr. Perfect, I definitely am not as I have proven today. God, I feel like an asshole. I haven't felt this guilty about anything in ages. So yeah, we all make mistakes. But today I want to talk about what's called identity hacking, identity hacking.

2:27 What is this? So a lot of you guys want to become better with women. You want to make more money. You want to be more successful. But as far as your identity is concerned, you don't really feel that way. And the way reality works is first you think of the picture, then you paint the picture, then you step inside of it. So if you want to have a certain experience, such as getting lots of girls, being rich, being Mr. Successful, being ripped, whatever it is that your goal is, and you don't feel that way internally inside who you are, but in fact, you quite feel the opposite, you are going to get the opposite results over and over and over again.

3:06 And the reason I thought of this podcast is because I've been training to do a triathlon lately. And I've been talking to these dudes who are like hardcore motherfuckers. And I put out a couple weeks ago, I was like, yo, I'm doing a triathlon. If anybody wants to help me, please email me, dude, I got like 50 emails. Talk about type A motherfuckers, dude. Like these guys are like, yo, I did an Ironman on my first go and you should do an Ironman as well. And if you're listening, brother, that really cracked me up.

3:33 And I was like, fuck to the no, dude, I'm not doing an Ironman. And Ironman is like 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride in a fucking marathon, a marathon. Dude, I can hardly run to my mailbox, man. I ain't doing no Ironman. So all these hardcore dudes come out of the woodwork. And what I really noticed is that these guys identify as athletes. They say to me, I am a triathlete. I am a swimmer. I am a biker. I am a runner. That's what I am. And this is why they persevere as triathletes because no matter what happens, they will not fucking quit.

4:04 And I love that kind of spirit. I love that kind of type A personality, even though it blew up my inbox and I got, don't get me wrong, they were champions, but I got some intense motherfuckers coming into my inbox. And if you're listening, hopefully you're laughing along with me because I really respect that. And so I was thinking about it and I was thinking about it from a coach's perspective, specifically in dating. A lot of you guys listening simply don't feel like a girl magnet.

4:34 Now you may tell yourself that over and over again, I'm a girl magnet, I'm a girl magnet. This rote kind of repetition that really has no impact until you actually start identifying as a girl magnet until you start identifying as somebody who is very good with women, who women are attracted to, who just basically walks into a room and all girls are attracted to him. It ain't gonna happen. Now that begs the question, well, I've been telling myself this and it hasn't worked because honestly, it's unbelievable.

5:03 I'm a freaking nerd. I have nerd mannerisms. I'm a beta. Always have been. Girls just aren't interested in me. Maybe you're unattractive, fat, bald, short, too old, too dumb, whatever your excuse is. And that instead is your identity. So you won't identify as a guy who gets girls and therefore you won't get girls because identity always has to happen first. It always has to happen inside your mind before it happens in your outer reality. So unless and until we can get you thinking like a girl magnet, a money magnet, a successful human being, and even a guy who's happy, until you identify and call yourself a happy person or better yet, a lucky person or better than that, a peaceful person, you won't experience peace.

5:45 You won't experience luck and you won't experience wealth or women or success or whatever you labeled. And as I've spoken about many times on this podcast, I believe in the law of attraction. The law of attraction dictates what you think about you become literally like a magnet where your thoughts are a vibration that go out into the atmosphere. And if you want to look at it this way, each vibration added together becomes matter, becomes matter. And that's the saying your thoughts matter because as you think you become.

6:23 So if you're not identifying as somebody who's successful, you're not going to get there. Now, again, that begs the question, well, how do I get there? See, the thing I like about kind of my coaching is I always focus on the how. There's tons of theory out there. And I get listeners telling me this all the time. They're like, you actually give concrete tips and I want to give you concrete tips in this episode as well, which is systematically building up to that final identity. Okay.

6:47 So me, I'm trying to do a triathlon. I haven't quite identified as a triathlete yet, but kind of starting to feel it, man. Like I got the sick wetsuit. I got a really good bike now. I've been really training hard. I got the gear and I'm putting in the hours and I got this watch that like tracks all my progress and shit. And I'm kind of starting to feel like a triathlete. But what I'm doing is I'm doing it incrementally. And this is what I teach my boys in my three month coaching program that we need you to identify as a guy who gets girls.

7:12 So the first thing we do is we identify where you land as far as your own thoughts about your attractiveness to women. Okay. So all of us right now, you listening, I want you to give yourself a score between one and 10 of how attractive you are to girls. Okay. Most of you guys listening will give yourselves a seven. Some will give an eight. Fewer will give a nine and very few will give a 10. And honestly, those who are given a 10, sometimes maybe, well, I don't want to say this because maybe they are completely legit.

7:42 But what I was going to say is maybe slightly delusional and maybe it's a little bit of arrogance because very rarely do I come across a dude who hasn't already invested in himself in this way that can give himself a bonafide 10 without like arrogance behind it or self aggrandizement or delusion behind it. But you know what? If you legit give yourself a 10, rock on, bro. You're good to go. You can click off this episode because you don't need to hear it. But for the rest of us mortals who don't perhaps feel like a 10, what you got to do is start at where you're at.

8:13 Okay. So a lot of you guys feel like you're a seven. What I want to try to do is get you up to an eight. Okay. So what we do is we concentrate on those things that we've done that have made us successful with women. And we also concentrate on what would I think if I were an eight? How would I look at that girl? How would I behave? What would I think and analyze about this exact situation? And then do that. So an eight, we'll look in the mirror and be like, yeah, I look pretty good.

8:45 Whereas a seven would be like, meh, not looking too great today. So we almost have to fake it until we make it. And I want you to push up just a little bit into that next identity level. So as you do that, you will begin to believe it. Then you'll start to feel like, you know what? I am an eight. Then we're going to push up to perhaps 8.5. What would an 8.5 do in this situation? For example, this girl you're dating, she's like a seven. You want to identify as an 8.5.

9:15 She acts up in a certain way. What would you do if you were an 8.5? And how many girls would an 8.5 be dating? And if indeed he was dating that many girls, and just so you know, an 8.5 would probably be dating four to six girls, what would I do if this chick flaked on me? Would I say, oh, it's okay. Like, don't worry about it. I'm sorry your cat got diarrhea. Maybe next time. In fact, what are you doing next week? Let's set up our next date.

9:39 No, he would probably not even reply or say, as I teach you guys to say, okay, and then never text her again. So as we get better with women, we want to keep pushing up our identity until we can realistically feel like a girl magnet. Ultimately, I want you guys saying to yourself over and over and over again, I am a girl magnet, but perhaps you're not at a place where that could be even slightly believable, right? Like you've been rejected. Girl just aren't into you.

10:10 You fail time and time again. And brother, I've been there too. So if you have this delusion in your head that you can't get yourself out of this hole, I want to let you know that I probably was lower than you are right now. And you say, well, I don't know, man. And listen, I don't know you, but I want to tell you, I was agoraphobic, which meant I couldn't even go outside. I could not even look at a girl, let alone go talk to one.

10:32 I was so stifled, afraid, anxious, and in screensaver mode. My mind would just go completely blank. I was suicidal. I had panic attacks. I was completely anxiety ridden to the point where I almost did commit suicide. So wherever you're at, I want to let you know, you can get to that place, but it's a systematic process of growth and identifying as the next step up. Okay. So let's say you're making six grand a month. I want you to feel like a dude who makes seven grand a month.

11:03 I want you to actually say to the universe, I am making seven grand a month. I'm an 84,000 per month dude. And next year, I'm going to be a hundred thousand per month dude. Or you may want to just crack that up immediately to 120 grand. I'm a $10,000 a month dude. And just start feeling that way. Now the amazing and incomprehensible thing is you may think, well, how could I feel like I'm a hundred thousand dollar dude when I'm whatever, like an assistant and I'm making 60 grand. Here's the thing.

11:31 Your revenue, the amount of money you're making isn't dictated by your current job. Your current job is dictated by what you think you are. So you've set a thermostat to let's say $60,000 a year. That's what you think you're worth. So you have a job that represents that. But I guarantee you, once you start identifying as a dude who makes 10 grand a month, $120,000 a year, you will probably find a better job. You will probably get promoted. You will find a side hustle or the money will just fucking show up because that's how it works.

12:06 First, you think of the picture, which means you identify as that kind of person. Then you paint the picture, which means you consistently think in that way. And like I said, thoughts matter, which means thoughts become matter. You put out those thoughts consistently, saying it to yourself over and over again. They overlap and congeal into your reality. Everything that's around you, you, my friend, have created. And usually it's by the original thought, which was given to you by your parents. Okay. If your parents were 60,000, 70,000, $80,000 kind of people, whatever, middle class, and you identify with that, then you're going to be middle class.

12:45 And there's very little chance you're going to get out of it until you start changing your thinking. If your dad pulled your mom and your mom's like a seven and your dad had like a couple girls before, same with your uncle and your brother's basically done the same thing, then you're probably going to marry a seven until you consciously decide, no, I'm not, bro. Like that is unacceptable. And here's the benchmark that I always use. If I end up on my deathbed, would I be proud of the current situation I'm in?

13:11 Fuck no. If I'm getting sevens and I feel like a seven, I want to feel like a goddamn 10. I want a 10. I want to be a millionaire. I want to kill it in this life. And how do I do that? I always tell myself I'm a millionaire. I always tell myself I'm a girl magnet. I always tell myself that I have an extremely successful podcast. I'm an extremely successful dating coach where all my guys get the results that they're here to get. And what happens time and time and time again, everything that I identify as comes true.

13:41 So identity hacking means just that. You step up incrementally. And look, if telling yourself I am a girl magnet is way too far of a stretch, then first you say to yourself, I'm working on myself and I'm improving every day. I'm a hard worker. I am a catch for girls. A girl would be lucky to be with me. You know what? Girls are attracted to me. You know what? I'm a fucking girl magnet. I am a champion. I am a legend. I am a hard worker.

14:08 I am growth oriented. And I identify as a man who has the intelligence, perseverance, and integrity to take this hand I was dealt in life and make the meanest hand possible. So that when I get on my deathbed, I look back and I say, yo, maybe I was born as a seven. Maybe my dad thought he was a seven. My mom certainly did. But dude, I became a 10. I became a 10 because I took the reins of my life rather than letting other people's programs, letting other people's issues and their insecurities be imposed upon me and I take on their identity.

14:46 I talk to guys day after day after day on that free breakthrough session that I give. And it's the same thing over and over again. My mom thought this and now I think this. My dad did this and now I'm doing that. Or these people verbally abuse me, physically abuse me, sometimes even sexually abuse me. Or I was fucked over by some girl. Or my brother was an asshole to me. Or fill in the blank. And now I'm getting the same results over and over and over again.

15:10 That's because identity was implanted by somebody else before you could defend yourself. And now you're hitting print on a printer that's giving you a shit fucking sandwich. The only question is, do you want it on toast or rye? Or are you going to sack the fuck up, choose your identity, choose the way you're going to believe, and incrementally hack that bitch until you are a fucking 10, making a million plus per year, getting all the goddamn chicks, and finally arriving to a point where you have a business you're super proud of, where you have a podcast that you're proud to put your name on.

15:46 And you're outside kind of taking it easy because, dude, you're always out at the nightclubs and bars. You're always coaching. It's like girls, girls, girls, girls, girls all the time. You just want to fly your little RC plane. So your daughter comes out. She's like, daddy, daddy, fly past my head. You hit her in the fucking face. That's the kind of life that could be yours, brother. But I'll tell you what, the difference is, is that I'm happy. And the difference is, is I'm humble enough to know that I was a goddamn idiot, and I will never do that again.

16:15 But ultimately, peace is what's in my heart. And yes, I'm very happy. I have a woman who I love to go in and she feels the same way about me. I have a daughter that I absolutely love. I have a podcast where I love you guys who are listening. And most importantly, I have a coaching program where I have tons of dudes in there who are my brothers fighting shoulder to shoulder with me in the trenches. And all I'm doing is pointing them the way up the hill.

16:37 And they get there to buy identity hacking. Choose a new identity for yourself. Be that triathlete. Be that girl magnet. Be that champion, that entrepreneur that doesn't make just millions, but bro, make billions. Leave an impression on this world and leave this world better from you having been here. The world is waiting for you to reach your potential, brother. The world needs positive, loving, self-actualized men like you. So I want to ask you, what the fuck are you doing about it? Are you trying to improve yourself?

17:07 Are you facing your limiting belief systems that somebody gave you before you could defend yourself and choosing a new identity? If you're not, I want to challenge you to do so. I want you to rise up to that guy that you were meant to be. Those dreams that you had as a little kid. If your little 10-year-old self saw you today, would he be proud or would he be disappointed? I know when my 10-year-old self looks at me, I want nothing more than that little kid to smile and say, man, I can't wait to become that guy.

17:38 And I want you to become that guy too. So gentlemen, you know what to do. Incremental improvement is the nature of all mastery. Choose the next identity up from where you are today. And once you fully believe that, then choose the next one up from there. That's the way to hack your identity. And I want you to start today. Lastly, and this just came to me, be kind to somebody else because at one time somebody was kind to you. Kindness will always come back to you because that too is the law of attraction.

18:07 And it's the way to make your life a dream come true. Kindness, giving, being a good fucking person and striving to that next level. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. I really do appreciate you listening. As we wrap this one up, I want to ask you again to go over to my YouTube channel. I spoke about this on the previous episode where I just dropped a new channel, only got a few subscribers, would really appreciate it. If you could click on the link, it's the first link in the description below.

18:38 So if you could do me a kindness, click on that, maybe subscribe, even listen to a few episodes and like them, maybe leave some comments. I intend to reply to every single comment that I get on YouTube. I don't do that on any other social media platform, but YouTube, I'm going to do that. And I've already replied to every comment so far and I'll continue doing that. Just click the link right now, please. Go over there, subscribe. I really, really appreciate it. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays.

19:04 You know what to do, brother. By next Monday, I want a new identity for you. And we continue forward as unapologetic men. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.