How long does it REALLY take to get good with women?

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we're going to talk about how long does it really take to get good with girls. I'm going to give you the lowdown, not only from my own experience, but also the experience of the hundreds of clients, maybe even thousands of clients that I've teached.

0:38 Over the years, the things that I've seen, the common trajectories that most guys take when it comes to this whole thing. And I want to give you the no BS answer as to how long it's really going to take you to get good with girls. Now, when I say good with girls, I mean you're a girl magnet. You're getting late all the time. You have abundance in your life. You may be managing a harem. You're basically at the point that every guy wants to be at, which is you see a hot girl.

1:05 You can go up to her, attract her, grab her phone number with the best chance of her actually texting you back. She does text you back. You guys go on a date and then you soon after have sex with her. That's kind of like the standard protocol that pretty much every guy would love to have. And I'm going to give you the no BS answer as to how long that's going to take. Now, before I give you that answer, I want to let you know some really good news.

1:27 And the good news is this, is that this is possible for you. Yes, you right now. I don't care how bad you are. I don't care how old you are. I don't care what you look like. I don't care about any of that. This is possible for literally any guy. Now, is it going to take a shit ton of work? Yes. Is it going to take a shit ton of pain and struggle and adversity and perseverance? Yes, definitely. Is it going to be difficult? Yes. Just like anything that's worth doing is difficult, this is extremely difficult.

1:59 Why? It's because you're changing your entire self. You are essentially changing from a caterpillar to a butterfly. This is a complete life transformation that you have to go through in order to get good with women. And that's the thing that I love about this is a lot of guys hire me initially in order to get good with girls, to get their dick wet, quote unquote, as I often like to say. But really, it turns into a life coaching kind of situation where I help you better your life.

2:29 Not only to get better with women, but actually getting better with women is kind of an offshoot. It's a side effect of just becoming a happier, more masculine, more put together kind of guy. And when that comes into your life, really, the getting the girls thing doesn't become as important to you anymore. But a lot of guys are motivated initially by the almighty penis, the red-helmeted warrior, demanding that they get good with women. And then suddenly, their whole life begins to change in positive ways. And then they get really into self-development.

2:59 And they realize, like, wow, you know, developing myself, making my life better, switching my philosophies, choosing new belief systems, reprogramming my brain was actually the answer. And yeah, I'm getting laid because of it. But suddenly, getting laid isn't as important to me anymore because being happy, being fulfilled, being on purpose, that's the most important thing. Okay, so let's start with the hardest case scenario, and that was basically me. The way I was is I was suicidal, depressed, full of anxiety, tons of problems, couldn't look at a girl, let alone go talk to one.

3:33 Was a virgin until I was 21. The girl who I lost my virginity with cheated on me because I was such a beta cuck, needy, supplicatory little bitch that she basically cheated on me. And that's why I got into this to begin with is because I was like, man, what the hell did I do wrong? So we're talking about the hardest, hardest case. How long is it going to take you to turn into a girl magnet who not only is attracting women, but who also has a deep sense of fulfillment, a deep sense of peace, and who's genuinely happy?

4:04 Well, it's going to take you about 10 years. It's going to take you 10 years to get where you want to go. Now, that's about 10,000 hours of work. Now, they say in anything that's really worth doing, become a master pianist, become a master artist, become a master in jujitsu, become a master with women, become a master surfer, become a master soccer player, baseball player. Whatever discipline you're thinking about, it usually takes about 10,000 hours to really master it. But the cool thing about women, and this is why I like it so much, unlike those other examples is you're actually changing yourself.

4:38 You're bettering your own life. So here's the thing too, and this is why I recorded this podcast, is because for some reason, things tend to happen in waves. And I get a lot of emails every day from fans, guys who listen to the podcast, as well as my coaching clients. And the theme of the last two weeks has been guys like completely spazzing out about things not going well for them with women. And, like, they've been working on this shit for literally a couple months. It's like I've been working on my baseball swing for three months, and I'm pissed because I can't hit a 105 mile per hour fastball by a major league pitcher, and I can't hit it.

5:13 I keep striking out. It's like, come on, man, let's get realistic about this. So guys will often hit me up and be like, dude, they'll flip out, like, this happened, I got this girl's phone number, she's not texting me back, I'm just so anxious, and they're freaking out. And look, I'm not judging you, bro. Like, if you're one of the guys who did this, I get it. I was in the same boat. I did the same shit. But with the majority of my experience, looking back and now being a coach, now being a guy who has had the success with women, who's also bringing other guys up to success with women, dude, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

5:47 You are not going to be able to change yourself that quickly if you're coming from a difficult place. Now I coach a lot of different guys. Some of you guys have a lot of your shit together already. You've worked on yourself. You just have a few meta programs that need changing. And yeah, in one session, we can get results for you just that quick. I mean, you guys have probably heard the story. There are several stories like this where a guy will do one session and then he'll go get like a blow job or a guy will do one session and then suddenly the flood of women will come into his life.

6:15 And that's typically what happens. We work on ourself. We work on ourself. We get some successes here and there. The successes start to ramp up and then it's almost like you hit a point where it's a goddamn flood. Just a pussy tidal wave overcoming you and your penis looks like a shriveled up burn victim hiding in the corner of your underwear because he's getting too much action. Now that's completely possible for you, but dude, it takes time. So another thing that I notice is a lot of guys, and this is always a sign and I want you to see if you have this in you.

6:47 A lot of guys will get really excited when things go well for them. Okay. What does that tell me? That tells me that you're going to get really bummed out when things don't go well for you. So if I get a message from a client or a listener who's like all on cloud nine, seriously fire it up. And that's cool. Look, it's really cool. I want you guys to get fired up. I want you to be positive. I want you to be passionate about this. But the person who has the most balance, who doesn't go to one side or the other, is the one who isn't going to flip out when things go bad for them and give up.

7:19 This is about not giving up as much as it is about getting girls into your life. And that's the thing I like about it is that there's going to be adversity. You have to accept that. It's going to be difficult. But bro, like I always talk about in this podcast, it's the difficulty that's going to make you grow. It's going into the uncomfortable place. It's getting outside your comfort zone. It's putting yourself in purposeful pain that's going to make you grow into the best version of yourself you can be.

7:45 And I literally believe that your desire to be the best version of yourself that you can be is a seed that's placed in your heart. And when it's watered by podcasts like this one, other information, other things that you guys are doing, it starts to flower. And then you go into your pain willingly. So suddenly a girl rejecting you doesn't become so terrifying. In fact, you almost look at it as a good thing because you say, well, what did I do wrong? Oh, it was probably this.

8:13 You know, I did a little bit too much push-pull in the beginning. Let me back that off a little bit. Dude, I love getting bad results with women because then I tweak my approach and I get that much better. So in this game, you have to get a little bit obsessed with the self-development part, not just the result. It's the journey, not just the destination. So many guys get into this because they want chicks in their bed. It's like that's the only thing they care about.

8:38 But what are you going after? You're going after pleasure rather than purpose, rather than fulfillment, right? You just want the pleasure of coming, the pleasure of seeing her naked, the pleasure of getting a blowjob. Dude, that's like icing on the cake. The cake itself is the struggle, the adversity, the journey of getting a little bit better each day. And once again, not like flipping out when things go bad and also not flipping out when things go right. Having a very even keel, the most successful people in the world, the Michael Jordans, the LeBron James, the Lionel Messi, all these amazing athletes, as well as businessmen, musicians, artists.

9:18 They have a very even keel. They don't get super bummed out. They don't get super excited. I mean, look at the NFL quarterback, right? Who's probably the best quarterback that ever played football? I'm not going to say that because I know you guys get all fired up about these kinds of sport teams, which is funny to me. But I am going to say it. Fuck you. Brady. He's probably the best. Okay. Brady. Very even keel. Can't get under the guy's skin. Super strong frame. So that when it's the NFL Super Bowl, he's very, very even keeled.

9:49 He can deliver. He can perform. That's what we're trying to develop here. And yeah, it took him 10 plus years to get that good, to be able to throw the ball in front of millions of people in a split second like that and hit a moving target with some of the fastest guys in the world chasing him. I mean, it's absolutely unbelievable what these guys are able to do. And that's almost what you need to become to get really good with women. I mean, approach her, get her attracted very quickly, have sex with her, maybe even the same day.

10:20 Like to get that good, it takes that time. So once again, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Try to temper your emotions. Okay. Stop relying so much on the result. Be proud of yourself for doing the work. Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there. Be your own hero because the effort you're putting in, not the result. So while it takes the super hard cases, 10 years, you know, that's the really hard cases. I'm talking to guys who are over 40 and they're virgins. The guys who just repel women by nature of being themselves.

10:51 They need to change into the best version of themselves. Because I'm telling you, if you're repelling women, it's because you have the residue and the crust and the disgustingness of issues brewing up in your head. So when you get rid of those issues, hopefully with some self-work, maybe some coaching from a coach like me, then you clean up that mess and you become a more attractive version of yourself, the best version of yourself. I guarantee you the way that you were born, you were born with perfect self-esteem.

11:19 That version of you, had it not been screwed up by other people, by bad luck, by bad situations, other people's shitty programming that they gave to you before you could defend yourself, you'd probably be attractive to women. But all these shitty things happened to you and now you're unattractive because you're telegraphing unattractive qualities or telegraphing unattractive programming that you don't even know you have. So yeah, it takes about 10 years because you got to figure this, all this shit out, learn all the rules, trial and error.

11:49 Now, you can probably see what's coming next. If you hire a coach like me, honestly, what I've seen, no bullshit, let's take the 10-year guy who's like a really hard case, we can shave eight to nine years off of that journey. I have, for example, a three-month coaching program. Guys who are willing to invest in themselves take the three-month coaching program, they learn all the rules of attraction while at the same time going through a three-month NLP coaching protocol. By the end of that, man, they got like a year or two left before they're getting that kind of result.

12:21 Girl magnet, you walk into the nightclub and it's like throwing dynamite into a pond, pussy on demand, tidal wave of pussy, penis looking like a burn victim hiding in the corner of your underwear. Totally possible. But look, if you're doing this alone, okay, and you're not willing to invest in yourself, I get it. Maybe you don't have the money. Maybe you don't trust a coach like me enough. That's fine. Here's my suggestion. Be patient. Marathon. Not a sprint. Continue to listen to podcasts like this one.

12:49 Continue to get advice from reputable sources that you trust and just do the work every single day. You know, I wouldn't even recognize myself if I saw myself right now when I was like 20 years old, 25 years old. I am a completely different person. So if you're going to change to a completely different person, if you're a really hard case like I was, dude, how long is that going to take? It's going to take a while. So be patient. Enjoy the process. Count up the little wins.

13:19 Look how far you've come. Look back when you're climbing a mountain. Don't focus so much on how far you have to go. That's the advice that I want to give you guys because lately, just been getting a lot of emails about people flipping out, overreacting, being impatient. This is really a podcast about patience. This is a life changing journey and anything worth doing takes a lot of time. So that's my message for you guys today. I hope it's helped you in some way, especially if you're getting down on yourself, if you're being impatient and you want better results than those you have produced thus far.

13:53 Now, I will say, if you have been doing this for a while and you want to get an NLP session with me to see what kind of progress we can make with the session and even see if you are a good fit for a three-month coaching program, go ahead and hit me up. Look me up at CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching. Look at all the testimonials on there. Look, I cut it straight with you guys. I'm honest. I'm going to tell you the no BS answer and that's what it is.

14:17 It's going to freaking take time. Even if you're already pretty good with girls, you want to get really fucking good, could take you two, three, five, eight years. You know, it just totally depends on you. So patience is the key. Enjoy the journey. Stop being so focused on pleasure over fulfillment. Focus on the purpose of making yourself better, of giving value to the world. When you do that, the journey is going to become very enjoyable. And then the icing on the cake is just the icing.

14:44 It's not even a big deal anymore. Getting sex is like, oh, okay, that's cool. You'll actually be more interested in the self-development part. And in a strange way, that's actually when you're going to get the best results. It's when you don't care about getting the best results anymore. And that's how life works too. All right, guys, that's it for me in this podcast. I do appreciate you listening. Once again, if you want to get some coaching, check me out, coachmarksing.com. I have another really good episode coming up on Friday.

15:12 So please check back in. And in the meantime, I will see you in the next episode. Bye. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.