How to tell when a girl is NOT INTO YOU!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys, thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP, I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to discuss how to tell when a girl is not into you, how to tell when she's just stringing you along, using you for attention, using you for validation, and how to read the signs so that you can cut her out of your life and move on to greener pastures.

0:41 If you're one of the guys who has trouble with women, as I had in the past as well, and you want to get that fixed in the fastest, easiest way possible, check out my coaching offer. You can learn more about that at coachmarksing.com, just click on coaching on the upper right-hand corner and it'll tell you all about it. Basically, what I do is use NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, to reprogram some of the bullshit in your head so that you can actually act attractive, act like a natural would act in front of women and get them attracted to you.

1:13 So you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore, which I know the frustration of because I myself dealt with it quite a bit, especially in my 20s. But as I got the BS in my head fixed, what happens is women's attraction is based on that. So they can read right through us and it's reflected in our body language, our tonality. And if we don't have positive, high-value mind states, then women can read into that and they don't get attracted to us because of it. And they string us along in the following ways that I'm going to talk about.

1:45 So if you're sick and tired of getting the dismal results, then hit me up. You'd be amazed at how much we can get done in just one session. Read my testimonials. Read what I do. It really is impressive stuff. And that's why I have an eight-week waiting list is because people understand the power of this. I also get a lot of referrals because the shit works. So if you want to learn more about that, check it out, coachmarksing.com. All right, let's go ahead and jump into the content.

2:12 So first and foremost, the smart thing to do when you're trying to see if a girl is attractive, to you is to see how she's acting around other people. So you kind of get a baseline for how she acts around other people, particularly guys who you know she's not attracted to. Now, one of the most common things people do when they're attracted to one another is they invade each other's personal space. So if she keeps the same distance from you that she keeps from everybody else that she's clearly not attracted to, then that's a really bad sign.

2:41 When a woman is attracted to you, she's going to invade your personal space. She's going to find reasons to get close to you. There's going to be that cool kind of vibe between you two where you like get close and you accidentally brush against each other. And there's that like energy that you can feel between her and you. Well, if she's not closing the distance in, you know, it could potentially be that she's shy, but more likely she's not attracted to you. So pay attention to that.

3:08 The next thing is she doesn't ask you personal questions about yourself. So when somebody is attracted to you, they want to know more about you. Rationally, when we like something, we want to learn more about it. We want to get personal with it. And she's going to ask you personal questions that are going to get deeper into your life. So if she's not doing that, it's a pretty bad sign. If she's just keeping it like platonic, she just asks the same mundane questions or even during texting, you know, she has short answers or she's not really invested in the conversation.

3:40 These are really bad signs and it's probably best you cut your losses. Another thing people do when they're into each other is mirror each other's body language. So you'll see two people who are really attracted to each other. They'll have the same kind of posture. They'll be holding their arms the same way, holding their legs the same way. And that's because they're in rapport. And when we're in rapport, we mimic each other's body language. So one of the things you can do is shift your body language and see if she follows.

4:11 If she doesn't follow that, it's a bad sign that she's not into you. When you ask her to hang out, she says things like maybe we'll see how it goes or I'll try. As an NLP coach, NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Well, the linguistic thing makes it so that I always listen very closely to what people say. In fact, when I'm coaching people, I'm really listening to their language. And the words, I'll try, basically mean the person isn't going to do it. And this is a really good trick that you should know, not only for girls, but also for your guy friends.

4:47 If some dude says to you, yeah, bro, I'll try to be there, he's not going to show up. If a girl says, yeah, I'll try to make it, not going to happen. She's not into you. I mean, think about it. If a girl is really attracted to you, she's going to freaking show up. She's going to be there. Now, I do understand that there's the phenomenon of fence sitters is what I call them. They're kind of into you. They're kind of not. They're not really sure what they want.

5:09 Or they're kind of keeping you as a secondary option to another guy who they like more than you. That happens all the damn time. You're like the backup guy in case everything falls apart. So she's going to string you along a little bit. And then if everything else fails, she'll hit you up. And that's because she's like a 6 out of 10 as far as the attraction is concerned. But honestly, I don't even mess with chicks like that because if she's a 6 out of 10 for me, then it's like, why would I even deal with that?

5:37 Why am I going to chase her, deal with her lackluster effort, deal with her ho-hum replies to my wanting to hang out, ho-hum replies to my texting? It's just a fucking waste of time. And interestingly enough, oftentimes when you cut these chicks out and you just stop talking to them, they oftentimes come around again because that's very attractive. So she says, once again, things like, maybe we'll see how it goes. Yeah, I'll try to be there. Or, yeah, we'll see how things turn out. And, you know, maybe it's a really bad sign.

6:07 Obviously, if a girl's into you, and it's funny because I think what my friend John Anthony always says, he's like, how do you tell if a chick's into you? Did she fuck you? No, she's not into you. It's kind of an extreme example, but it's funny to me that he puts it in such black and white terms because it's kind of true, you know. If she's not having sex with you, pretty bad sign. Pretty bad sign. So look out for that one too. Is she giving you a blowjob?

6:32 No. Decent chance she's not into you. Another thing women will do is they're not going to try to look pretty in front of you. I mentioned this in a different podcast when I talked about when a woman is interested in you, she's going to make herself look really pretty. Well, when a chick is wearing sweatpants in front of you, when she doesn't have her makeup done and her hair is pulled back and she looks like shit, very, very bad sign. If you're working with a girl, for example, which I know is the case for many of you guys, or she's a girl in your class or a girl in your social group, you want to pay attention to see if she's wearing cute outfits, if she's trying to get done up.

7:07 And then also, you know, the personal space stuff, asking you personal questions, mirroring your body language, laughing at shit that isn't funny. These are all the signs that you want to look for. But if she shows up looking like a homeless woman in a gigantic sweatshirt and gigantic sweatpants, her hair pulled back, and like acne medicine spread all over her face, wearing rollers in her hair, and her bionator. Is that what it's called, bionator? The thing that you put in your mouth that straightens your teeth?

7:35 Man, it's been so long since I've worn one of those. Bionator. Anyway, I think that's what it's called. But if she's wearing shit like that that's like clearly unattractive, then you know she's probably not attracted to you. By the way, a really good thing that you can do to get girls attracted to you is to do those kinds of things back to them. So blow your nose in front of them, grab your fat, and say, man, I kind of like how I'm getting fat right now.

7:58 It's keeping me warm during these cold winter months. The reason that gets chicks attracted to you is because you're not trying to impress them. And as we've talked about ad nauseum in this podcast, when you try to attract a girl, it turns her off because you're trying to impress her. So as pickup artists, we actually do the opposite. We show that we're not trying to attract her. And because of that, it's reverse psychology. It actually attracts her. So I will literally point out things about myself that are unattractive.

8:28 I'll point out how I have a big nose. I'll make fun of myself like sleeping. I'll be like, man, I'm getting so old. Like when I sleep, I'll be like, what was that? Oh, I don't know. And I'll like make fun of myself farting and stuff. And that'll actually get girls attracted to me because it's like, I don't give a shit what she thinks. Well, when a girl does that back to you, she doesn't give a shit what you think. By wearing the big sweatpants and by doing all those things that make her look unattractive, it's a very bad sign.

9:00 And I assure you, women are not trying to do the reverse psychology thing on you. As far as this is concerned, women are very simple. If they're attracted to you, they're going to look hot. If they're not attracted to you, they're not. Very simple. Another strange thing that they'll do with you, and this is misread by so many guys, is that they're going to be super sexual with you. Okay, so they're going to make like sexual jokes. They're going to talk about sex a lot. And they're going to be very vulgar in front of you.

9:29 It's because they don't give a shit what you think and they consider you a friend. Like they're going to act with you the way they act with their best friend or like their best guy friend. And that's going to say like gross sexual things like, oh, you took it in the butt or like lick her butthole or something like that. Like really vulgar, bad sign. And a lot of guys misread that like, oh, she's talking sexual with me. But that's not the kind of sexual that girls talk when they're actually attracted to you.

9:56 When they're attracted to you, they keep it more subtle and it's more like sexy behind it. And it's pointed at you and her specifically. But she's going to talk about sex in like a third person kind of way, which means that she sees you more as a friend. And she doesn't care what you think. And she doesn't care if you think she's a slut. Like she might even tell you about how she had sex with some guy and this and the third happened. And that's a really bad sign too, that she's not attracted to you.

10:23 She thinks you're just a friend. Another quick body language tip I want to tell to you guys is when you're attracted to somebody, your feet are going to naturally point to them. So watch yourself the next time you're talking to a girl who you really like. Your feet are going to be pointing at her. Well, the same thing holds true for her. If she's attracted to you, her feet are going to be pointed at you. She's going to be invested, leaning in, laughing easily, playing with her hair.

10:49 Her cheeks will flush. All those things I talked about in past podcasts, she's going to be doing. If she's not doing those things, very bad sign. Cut your losses. Move on. Another thing, and you guys have all experienced this, is the one word answers over texts or slow in responding. Trust me, if she's interested, she's not going to do that. And so many of you guys, God bless you, man. I just want to give you all a big hug. But so many of you guys like misread everything and you read so far into stuff.

11:19 Bro, what does it mean? I was talking to her and she kind of leaned in and she moved her hair over her ear. And then like five seconds went by and she crossed her legs. She crossed her legs, bro. Mark, Mark, what does that mean? I'm like, it means she's freaking a human being who wanted hair out of her face and she was shifting because she was uncomfortable. So she crossed her legs. Bro, stop reading into everything. Don't be such a spaz, dude. Spend more time talking to more girls rather than all your time focusing on this one girl.

11:51 Stop with the one-nitis, like reading so deeply into it. We really need to stop that. And when we get into an abundance mentality of, listen, I don't give a shit what happens with all these girls because I have all these girls, because I'm talking to all these girls. So it doesn't fucking matter. I'm not reading into every little thing. And I'm telling you, there's an energy you put out. When you read into every little thing, dwell on every little interaction. Think about her endlessly and really try to monitor yourself and bring the best content.

12:23 You are fucking shooting yourself in the foot. Why? Because there's an energy that puts out that you are needy for her, that you're trying to get her and you have one-nitis. You're thinking about her constantly. What's the best thing you can do when you like a girl? Date three more girls. That's the best thing you can do. Now, of course, you don't want to tell her about it. You don't want to be obvious about it. You want to do it under the radar. Or I should even change my phrasing.

12:51 You should talk to three other girls. For some of you guys who don't like to date more than one chick at once, fine. Just be talking to other girls, getting other numbers, opening and ejecting, going online, putting yourself in some kind of position where you're getting tons of chicks in your life. So that that one chick you really like, suddenly it doesn't mean so much anymore. Every little thing that she does, you're not reading into it. And that's the way to control yourself. All right. She always refers to you as a friend.

13:19 This one should be obvious. Look for it. She'll also ask you about your sex life. And she'll say things like, we have to find you a girl. If a girl says to you, we have to find you a girl, it's a very bad sign. However, I always say that to girls. I'm always like, hey, we really need to find you a guy. See, the cool thing is, is that all the things I'm teaching you here, what you do is you do it back to women and it actually builds attraction in them.

13:43 But when they do it to us, it's a sign that they're not attracted to us. Trust me, except for the really, really sophisticated ones, girls aren't playing these games. They don't have to. They can go out and get dick anytime they want. So it's like a game you can easily win. You don't have to try to master it and learn all the rules of it, right? It's like level one on some 1980s Atari game. Are you going to really sit there studying it and figuring out how to beat it easily every time?

14:11 No. You just mastered it the first time you played it. So why even try? So trust me, bro, when they're doing this to you, they're not playing games, man. This means they're not into you. Once again, cut your losses and move on. All right. And obviously they flake on you, make excuses, and then basically just completely ghost you. So you have to wonder why that is. And a lot of my clients ask me that. Why do girls accept plans and then flake on me? Well, it's kind of a fucked up reason and it's pretty stupid, but the reason they do it is because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

14:46 Like I said, pretty stupid, right? Because they're going to hurt your feelings worse when they flake on you and it frustrates the shit out of guys, makes guys very angry. Trust me, I hear about it every single day. But the reason they do it is because when you ask them, hey, you want to go to this concert next week? They kind of want to go, but they kind of don't. And they think, well, maybe when the day arrives, I'll have nothing better to do and I'll want to go, but if I don't want to go, then I'll just flake.

15:12 So that's kind of how they think. Or they don't want to be rude and say no, especially if you hit them up in person. So they'll be like, yeah, sounds good. Like, you know, I'll try to be there, right? The whole try thing. And then the day comes and they flake on you. Well, bro, like if they're flaking on you, they're not interested in you. They're not interested in you. And what's the best way? See, here's the problem is a lot of you guys get all these signs, but you still stick in there because you think by sticking in there, you can change her mind.

15:41 Well, maybe she'll get attracted to me if I do this. Or maybe I'll use Mark Singh's technique of push pull or I'll do a cold read on her or I'll use some gambits on her that I learned from the unapologetic man podcast. Yeah, that's great. But honestly, it's trying to bleed blood from a rock. So the best thing you can do is to pull away from her. And like I said, go talk to other chicks, fucking ghost her, friend zone her. Be like, see ya, I'm out of here.

16:10 Then what happens in a couple months, couple weeks, whatever it is, she starts coming back. The most attractive thing you can do in this kind of situation is pull away, date other girls, withdraw attention from her because a lot of times she's just using you for validation. She's just using you for attention. So when you pull that away from her, she's going to get more curious about you. Oh, maybe he has become more attractive and it's better than chasing, trying to give more value, trying to put out more content, even using the techniques that I teach.

16:42 Those techniques are good when you have the precedent set that you are already attractive by having pre-selection. So if you've already blown it and you're kind of in the friend zone, you're getting all these signs, all those attraction building kind of techniques aren't really going to work that well. The best thing to do is pull back, like I said, give it some time. Then when she starts coming back, then you drop the techniques and they're going to be much more potent. Now, initially, when you first meet a girl and her attraction for you isn't decided, those techniques are super potent to get her attracted to you and to get the date and get the sex and everything else like that.

17:21 But bro, what we're talking about here, you're already in the friend zone. So like I've said many times, when you're in the friend zone, exactly, you know what to do. Pull the fuck back. Make yourself attractive by showing that you have other girls in your life. You have a fun life. Maybe she's following you on Instagram. She sees that kind of thing. Then she's going to DM you a couple of weeks or months later. Boom. You guys start talking again. You throw in the attraction building techniques.

17:49 That's the way to get yourself out of the friend zone. That's the way to get a girl attracted to you who wasn't initially. And that's the way to do this when a girl is not into you. So I hope these signs have helped you. If you guys keep running into the same issue over and over again, girls keep doing the same shit to you and you don't know why, or you don't get attention from girls whatsoever, hit me up. I promise you it's going to be worth your time.

18:16 If anything, you should invest in yourself. That's what I did. And that's why I've been able to reach the level I have with both happiness and my success with women is because I invested in me. You are the machine and the mechanism that's going to dictate the results in your life. Are you going to keep doing what you're doing and getting the same results? Or are you going to wise up and be like, well, maybe this dude can help me look at my specific issues and help me fix them.

18:42 I'm very good at what I do. So fucking hit me up. Let's do this together. Let's get you the results you really want with women. All right, guys, that's it for me in this podcast. I do appreciate you listening. I'm coming swinging with another one on Wednesday. So please stay tuned. And until then, I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Thank you.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.