How to Approach a Girl on Headphones, in a Group, or With a Guy

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. On today's episode, we are going to talk about how to open girls who are in otherwise inconvenient or impossible, seemingly impossible situations where so many other dudes just use it as an excuse to not approach the girl. So if you actually do it in these situations, such as if she's on her headphones, if she's on a phone, if she's with her big group of friends that include dudes, if she's with her dad or even with her mom, if you do that, it really separates you from the rest of the sea donkeys who don't have the balls to approach a girl in that situation.

0:57 They need that perfect excuse to speak to her. And believe me, if you've been that dude, I've been that guy too, man. In fact, usually most of us have more excuses as to why we shouldn't approach her than we could ever think of reasons to approach her. So if you separate yourself from the rest of the canyon mules who let fear stop them, your results with women are going to go through the absolute roof. Like most of the hottest girls I ever got was just straight balls, bro.

1:24 Like I'm talking dropping in on a 50-foot wave at YMA Bay kind of balls. And I've had girls just sit there with their jaw on the floor like three minutes into the conversation. Like I cannot believe you just did that. And that really separates you from the rest of the cowards who would never even do that. Even if they were so horny, they'd fuck a snake if they could hold it straight. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys yet again for the awesome, spectacular reviews.

1:51 If you leave me a five-star review, email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit. Also want to let you guys know that if you'd like to get on a free, that's right, free breakthrough session with me where you and I meet and talk about your issues with women and see if you're a good fit for my custom three-month NLP-based dating program, I'd love to meet you. Go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. Fill in the quick application. I will email with you a few times and we will get you on my calendar and you and I will meet just one-on-one, talk about your issues.

2:24 And I can't help myself, man. I'll even do a little coaching because genuinely, brother, I care about you. I love you guys. I really want to help you. So give me the opportunity, bro. Stop holding back, bro-fessor. I really want to meet you. So let me meet you, man. Sign up. I can't meet you unless you let me. And I just really like you. I don't know. It hurts sometimes at night. I lay in my bed in the cannonball position crying like a schoolgirl. And yes, sometimes I fart a little too because it just hurts, man.

2:55 I do that. And then the fart squeaks out. But it's because you're not signing up with me, man. Could you please just sign up with me? I need you in my life, man. Please. All right, with that out of the way, let's jump into the content, you fucking sea bass. All right, so she's on headphones. Oh, my God, headphones. What do I do in that situation, Mark, saying it's absolutely impossible? Is it? Is it really bro-tato salad? I don't think so. In fact, I prefer to approach girls who are on headphones because it shows that I have balls.

3:31 Like, if I could be in a situation where it's actually harder to approach a girl, I will prefer that as far as my chances of getting her number are concerned. Because, again, courage is a testament to the confidence that you have. And it's a big compliment to her if she's sitting there, like, on a train, on her headphones, scrolling through her phone, and then you walk over, kind of sit next to her, and kind of wave your hand in her eyesight. And that's the first tip is you just kind of want to wave your hand in their eyesight.

3:59 And I guarantee you, 100% of the time, they're going to pop their headphones out. And by virtue of them popping out their headphones, there's a very important psychological phenomenon that happens, they are convincing themselves through the law of cognitive dissonance that they want to speak to you. Okay, so if we put effort into anything, if we curtail and change our behavior to accommodate for somebody else, we have to convince ourselves subconsciously that we like that person more than we might actually like them. So you think to yourself, yeah, but she's going to be pissed at me.

4:35 She may, okay? She may be a little bit irritated, but subconsciously, and remember, attraction is not a choice. Subconsciously, she's getting more attracted to you because you're the one guy out of the thousands and thousands of douche canoes who don't have the balls to do it who actually did it, and that separates you. So you wave your hand in front of her, she pops her headphones out, and you unapologetically begin the conversation. Listen to me, man, there's no, I'm so sorry to bother you. Oh, I hate to inconvenience you, but no, just act like you're like the president of the United States, and you deserve to be listened to, and you deserve to ask her a quick question.

5:13 Now, this gets into a touchy situation because we're always careful with the word deserve, and a lot of people get butt hurt when we talk about like, hey, I'm a champion, I deserve to speak to you, so suck it up and talk to me. Like, a lot of people are going to take that the wrong way, and believe me, there are some sensitive ass motherfuckers that listen to this podcast, man. I get emails every day like, why'd you say that? And I'm just like, bro, I didn't make you mad.

5:37 You were mad already. So go fix your life, and then talk to me about it later. But it's like this assuming that you deserve to be spoken to concept that so many people wrestle with. A lot of guys hire me for coaching, and one of their biggest belief systems is don't inconvenience people. Don't be a salesman. Don't be creepy. Don't be, you know, whatever it is, fill in the blank. And I agree, don't be creepy. But when it comes to don't inconvenience people, guys, 60% of women want to be approached.

6:07 Did you hear what I just said? 60% of women desperately want to be approached. Why? Because women love external input to validate what they feel about themselves. That's feminine energy. So when you approach them, and more specifically, when you have the balls to approach them, that's showing that you overcame a big obstacle just to go over to speak to her. So it's a big compliment. Do you see why that is? So we have to understand 60% of them want to be approached. The other 40% are open to it, or I should say 39% are open to it.

6:40 And 1% just have a stick up their butt. You don't want to talk to them anyway. So it's like when a girl's super negative towards me, if I approach her, and I have good energy, and I go up to her, and I'm like, hey, hey, real quick, had to talk to you. And she's like, eh, get away from me, or don't talk to me, loser. If she says any of that stuff, what do I think to myself? Do I think, oh, Mark, you're not enough. You're such a loser.

7:03 You just aren't good with girls. Or do I think, dude, this chick's an idiot, a complete moron. She probably can't even figure out the ending of CSI when it's 52 minutes into the damn episode. She's such a moron. That's what I think. Now, I don't say it to her because I believe when you put negative energy out there, it just comes back to you. But, guys, every time I get rejected, quote, unquote, it's her issue. Think about that reframe. Anytime you get rejected, it's her issue. Why?

7:30 Because you're going up. You've listened to this podcast. A lot of you guys have trained with me personally. And hopefully, even more of you will come into my three-month coaching program. How many dudes work on themselves in this way? How many dudes are trying to improve themselves, become better, are so ambitious as you are? Very few, bro. Most dudes sit in their basement, playing video games, masturbating to porn, eating Cheetos, puff puffs, ho-hos, and ding-dongs that look like a goddamn potato with a bathing suit on it.

8:01 And or, as I always like to say, a chicken McNugget with tits. You roll up confidently, maybe give her a good compliment, but at the very least, give her good energy, and she rejects you, her issue, all day long. And as I walk away, I do the SMH, shaking my head, because she's a fucking sea donkey, and she didn't deserve to speak to me anyway. So am I going to let her being on headphones stop me? Fuck to the no. Am I going to let her being on the phone stop me?

8:29 No. And here's my girl-on-the-phone technique, which takes, I'm talking like bowling balls of balls in your ball sack to be able to pull this one off. Go up to her and be like, hey, hey, who are you talking to? She's like, my mom. Be like, tell her you'll call her back. She'll be like, okay. She'll be like, mom, I got to call you back. She ends the call, and you're in like Flynn. Now, again, you think, well, isn't she going to be pissed off? It's weird, guys.

8:54 Like, they don't get pissed. They go into their feminine, because a dude just instructed her what to do, and she acquiesced to it. Now, will some girls say, no, I'm not going to hang up the phone? Yeah, but honestly, that's okay, and that's their prerogative. And I'm going to say this very carefully. Jesus Christ, I got to really word this carefully, bro. This could get me some hate mail right now. If a girl's like, no, I'm not going to do that. Fuck off. She's in her masculine energy.

9:22 Do you want a girl who's highly in her masculine energy? No. It's the least sexy thing possible when it comes to a female is when they're very, like, dominant and like, get out of my way, bro. Me and my ball sack are coming on through. You'd be like, dude, I wouldn't want to open that girl anyway. So when they, like, fight against you, when they're super argumentative or, like, they're like, hey, man, how you doing, bro? My ball sack's extra sweaty today. You don't want to talk to him anyway.

9:47 So by you kind of, like, saying, hey, who is that? It's my mom. You'd be like, tell her you call her back. That's kind of like an instruction for her to go into her feminine when she goes into her feminine and does as you asked, you're in the masculine now. Now, women who are listening, please, God, hear me out here, okay? Women need to be in their feminine in order to be attracted to a man. That is why women, when guys cry to you, when they complain to you, when they're thirsty, when they're needy, when they're unmotivated, unambitious, and they're basically pussies, it turns you off.

10:22 Because that's not masculine. A guy who's not a pussy isn't going to be afraid to be like, hey, call your mom back. I need to speak to you real quick. And when he does speak to her, he's going to be like, I thought you were cute. And unapologetically, let her know he wanted to come see if she was interesting. And look at that reframe. I'm not saying, hey, I thought you were cute. Could I please have your phone number? Because I just think you're so banging and I really have to date you.

10:45 Otherwise, I'm going to go home and fucking rub one out and spray it all over my ceiling. No. It's, hey, real quick, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you and see if you were interesting. What's up? What's your name? And it's that unapologetic assumption that you're enough. You are enough, my friend. Listen to me right now. Do you feel like you're enough? Be honest with me now, you idiot. Be honest. That's right. Most of you don't. So I'm going to anoint you because all it is is a simple decision.

11:12 I, Mark Singh, with the power vested in me by the state of Colorado and the nation of the United States of America, hereby anoint you worthy. Anoint you enough. Now go, my friend, and change the world. There you go, brother. You are enough. You are a champion. You need to fucking choose that and you need to believe it. And when you do believe it, headphones, her on the phone, her with the dude, her with her dad, her with her mom isn't going to stop you. And you go up and you unapologetically let her know that you think she's cute.

11:47 You want to learn more about her. See if she makes the cut. Okay. I don't say that implicitly. Like, hey, I'm coming over here to see if you make the cut because I'm a goddamn champion. Mark Singh has anointed me enough and I'm feeling really good about myself. So let's see if you're enough, you dweebs leave. No. You subcommunicate it. And that's subcommunicated by you unapologetically having her pop her headphones out, hang up the phone when she's on it with her friend, and or approach her when she's in a group.

12:14 Who cares if she's in a group? You know what that group usually is? It's usually a group who all the dudes are orbiters, which are basically guys who want to get in with her, and she's rejected them and she's out hoping she meets a champion like you. So when approaching a group, what I always do is disarm the obstacles first. I usually do not approach my target unless it's a time-sensitive issue where I got to go or I can tell she's going to go. If I have time, I am going to approach the obstacle.

12:43 And if there's a dude in the group, I'm going to approach him with the old, hey, were you on XYZ soccer team? Hey, do you work at XYZ place? Hey, didn't I see you up mountain biking one day? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You just make it up, bro. I'm not here to teach you how to open guys, but generally speaking, all you do is pretend you know him from somewhere, get into a conversation with him, win the guys over, as well as win the alpha female over.

13:10 I talk about this a lot in an episode that I did, I don't know, six months ago, how to approach groups. If you simply search Mark Singh approach groups, you can find it. I go into a deep dive on it. But essentially, you want to isolate the obstacles first, then go for your target once the obstacles like you. Now, one little tip I want to tell you, which is absolutely genius, is the girl who you feel is going to blow you out the most. She's the one who kind of looks like that potato with the swimming suit on it, the chicken McNugget with tits, or the girl who all her friends have affectionately dubbed Big Deb.

13:45 Okay, not always, not always now, but usually the less attractive female is usually the alpha female. And there's a reason for that. I don't have time to get into it real quick. It's because she kind of needs to go into the masculine role in order to make up for that which she lacks in physical attractiveness. So she usually becomes the leader and more dominant, whereas the harder ones go into their feminine. And just like with men, they acquiesce and they follow. Now, it's nothing against unattractive women.

14:13 In fact, I really feel sorry for them. I think it's a horrible plight that they've been dealt in this life. And there's certainly ways to make yourself, if you're a woman listening, more attractive to men, one of which, and the most important of which, is going highly into your feminine. But inevitably, there's always some line-backing cock block flying horizontally off the 50-yard line into the end zone and freaking decimating you two yards before you score the touchdown. Like, you're about to yank this girl out of that club.

14:43 You got everything going. All the tactics have worked. She's super attracted. Then the line-backing cock block. Extra-wide Matilda just comes in and smacks you right on the freaking end zone. And you're all blown out, bro. You fumble. The other team takes it in for a touchdown. And you're like, what happened? What happened is you didn't neutralize the obstacle. And the way you neutralize her is to tell her she reminds you of your sister or your cousin. Give her a big hug. Tell her you're best friends.

15:10 You're going to protect her and do anything for her the whole night. Really do what I suggest not to do to the girl you're actually attracted to, which is to be super cool to her, agreeable. But the thing is, when you tell her she reminds you of your cousin, she's not going to get attracted to you. And even if she does, she's not going to try to act on it because she looks like your family member. So this works really well. Once you've neutralized the obstacles, then you go for your target.

15:37 But here's the thing. So many times groups will prevent guys from approaching because of cowardice. But so many times, some of my best sets have come from groups. And even more sets have come from a dude with a girl sitting at the bar. And you assume. And what do you do when you assume? You make an ass out of you and me. You assume that they're together. You're like, oh, it's a boy and a girl. They must be dating. They must be totally in love. Meanwhile, she's there with her orbiter friend.

16:07 And orbiter, once again, is a guy who's in the friend zone. She's with her orbiter friend just wishing that a champion like you would roll up on him. And I've done this so many times. I've yanked so many numbers this way. It's ridiculous where I'll go up and I'll be super cool to both the guy and the girl. And I'll talk to them as if they're a couple. Okay. I'm just a social guy. I'm talking to everybody. I'm rolling up on him. I consider myself kind of like the emcee of any social situation I'm in.

16:35 So right now, I'm the emcee of this podcast. When I go out this weekend, I'm going to be the emcee of any nightclub I go into, any bar I go into, any party I go to, any family gathering. I'm responsible for the fun of everybody else. And that's the way you should think. And when you walk in that motherfucker, you have to say to yourself, my house. This is my house. I'm the emcee. I'm responsible for everybody's fun. Let me bring the thunder like a goddamn champion that you are and you'll have success.

17:04 So I roll up to a guy who's with the girl and I simply treat them as if they're a couple. And then here's the magic question. How long have you two been dating? If the girl's attracted to you, she's going to interrupt you before you finish your sentence. You're like, how long you two been? She's like, we're not dating. We're not dating. We're just friends. Then what's going to happen is needy Ned, friend zone Freddy, is going to excuse himself and go to the bathroom because he's probably butthurt that an alpha has rolled up and you're going to yank that girl right off of him.

17:35 Like the second homeboy is five steps away, her phone's coming out and you're getting the phone number because you had the balls to approach. Nobody else is approaching because they too assume that they're boyfriend and girlfriend and you're dropping charisma, neutralizing the obstacle and going for the target. Easy way to get a phone number. What about a girl who's with her mom? Very easy. You approach and you say, hey, real question. Are you two sisters? Ah, you see what I did there, boys? Works like magic.

18:03 And the mom's like, oh my God, you're so sweet. I love this boy. Marry him immediately. Right? She falls in love with you and it seems contrived, but I actually did it once by accident. And then I was like, yo, this works really good because I legit thought they were sisters. They were both super hot, really young. Obviously, the younger one was a little hotter, but I was like, hey, are you guys sisters? You really look alike. And they're like, no, I'm actually her mom. I'll be like, you're shitting me.

18:29 There's no way right now. Like you guys literally look like sisters. Okay. You neutralize the mom. Once the mom is neutralized, then what I usually do is I straight tell the mom that I thought her daughter was cute. And would it be okay if I were to grab her phone number? Now, why do I do it this way? As opposed to some of the other methods I teach, it's because think about a mom. The mom and her daughter. Okay. Her daughter's like 23. The mom is 40, right?

18:56 The mom kind of wants her daughter to meet a really handsome, genuine, really cool guy. So if you go in and compliment her, automatically neutralize her and make her like you, she's going to want to set you up, hopefully, with her daughter. And then when you ask her permission, it kind of goes back to the old concept of chivalry. You're being chivalrous, asking the parent if you may court her daughter. Okay. So I ask like, hey, honestly, the reason I came over is I thought your daughter was really cute.

19:27 I don't want to make this uncomfortable, but would it be okay if I were to ask for her number? Then the mom's going to smile and blush. The girl's going to smile and blush. And she's going to be like, yeah, totally. And then you turn to the girl and be like, so what do you think? Okay. Now, obviously, I would hope to build up a little more conversation, learn a little bit more about the daughter before I go for the number. But that's basically how I open it and then how I close it when it comes to a mom and a daughter.

19:53 All right. Now, the big one, gentlemen, a girl with her dad. Don't do it, bro. Do not even do it. Although I will admit I've done it several times and it's the same thing. You disarm the dad, but I'll tell you what. I have a almost three-year-old daughter who's growing so fast, it absolutely blows my mind. And I know before I know it, before I click stop on this recording, she's going to be a 16-year-old girl and I'm going to be out with her and there's going to be some douche canoe who comes and approaches us and he's getting choked the fuck out.

20:24 And I can't wait to do that. But honestly, like as a dad, I don't want some sea donkey hitting on my daughter in front of me. So I personally don't really do it. But if I were to do it, it would just be about befriending the dad and then possibly doing something somewhat similar to what I spoke about with the mom, kind of asking his permission. But man, it's going to be an uncomfortable situation. And I just don't want to put him in that uncomfortable situation because I know already like how creepy it feels to think that some douche canoe is going to be attracted to my daughter.

20:57 It's like, why put that guy in that situation? There's plenty of fish in the sea. And who knows, man, you might get shanked in the goddamn neck if you do it wrong. So is it worth the risk? Up to you, my friend. I've done it before. I've done it successfully. But always when it comes to groups, when it comes to obstacles, when it comes to people who might get in the way of any of your seductions, you have to neutralize that person. And I want to reiterate again, it takes balls to do all the stuff that I just explained.

21:25 It takes balls to literally walk up to a car in the middle of a parking lot who's pulling out and knock on the window and be like, hey, didn't mean to freak you out, but I have to be honest with you. I thought you were cute. I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did this. So we're in a parking lot right now. I'm going to do the only thing I can do. And that's ask for your phone number. That way we can catch up somewhere outside the King Supers parking lot in Boulder, Colorado, right?

21:50 And she finds that really brave. She finds it really confident. I've yanked so many numbers that way. Or like jumping over a fence and running across a field to go talk to a girl. I had a client ask me once, he's like, well, what if she's like out of earshot or she's away? I'm like, go over and talk to her. Go walk to her. Freaking jump over a railroad track. Like jump out of a plane while it's taking off because on takeoff, you saw a really cute stewardess who was walking across the tarmac.

22:18 Jump off a moving boat going 60 miles per hour because as you passed, you saw a super cute girl on the other boat and you just had to speak to her. Obviously, I'm joking, guys. But when you're willing to do extreme things, women find it very romantic. They find it very courageous. They find it very confident, all of which is very attractive and actually increases your chances of landing a phone number. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. Once again, I am offering a free one-on-one breakthrough session where you can get on the phone with me and talk about your issues with women.

22:49 I can give you a no BS assessment as to why I think you're struggling, why you're stuck in the same damn rut, getting the same damn results over and over again with girls. And I can reveal that pretty damn quickly. I am, as many of my clients say, like a mind reader and like a magician at how good I am at detecting why it is that men are struggling. And I'm going to give you a no BS assessment as to how long it will take you to get good with girls.

23:15 Jump over to my website, coachmarksing.com. Click on the tab that says coaching. Fill in the super quick application. It only takes about 30 seconds. Hit submit. I'm going to reach out to you personally. You're going to answer a few more questions. Then we're going to book your call and we will get on that one-on-one call together. I do appreciate your listening, gentlemen. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.