People's 10 BIGGEST REGRETS When They Die

0:00 How to Catch a Lizard in the Woods. Well, first of all, a lizard is very difficult to catch with your bare hand. You try to approach that lizard and he's going to scurry right away. So what do you do? Well, go into the woods and grab yourself a stick that's about the size of your arm. Then dig up some roots from a coniferous tree or perhaps a deciduous tree. My favorite tree to use is sear. Once you've got that pliable string-like root, what you want to do is tie a little noose at the end.

0:28 Now you've got yourself a lizard fishing stick. Go over to a lizard and slowly, very methodically, swing that loop just around his head. You'll be amazed he won't even realize what's happening. Why is that? It's because lizards are used to foliage, as well as trees, grasses, and different kinds of sticks getting right next to their head so he won't even notice. Once you've got it over his neck, give it a big tug and you've got yourself a lizard. Take that lizard over to the fire and skewer him just like he's a little green shish kebab.

1:00 Cook him over the fire until he's crisp and black and then go ahead and dig on in. A jar of moonshine is optional. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And I got one for you today that I've been wanting to record for literally years because this, in my opinion, is a telltale sign as to how you and I, who are unapologetic men, who want to get the most out of this life, should live our lives.

1:48 And that is by analyzing and thinking about what it is that people typically regret when they die. Now, this comes from interviews of thousands of dying individuals who on their deathbed admitted that they did 10 different things differently throughout their life. So today, you and I are going to analyze this and adjust our own lifestyle, our own life method to adhere to these regrets that people have so that we, you and me, don't get to the end of our life and have these same regrets. Gentlemen, before I jump into the content, I want to read a super quick review.

2:22 I'm just getting so damn many of them. I just, I honestly just can't resist it, man. I have to read these things because they're so epic about going into my three-month coaching program. Now, this one is from a client who's been in my program for only six weeks. So he's halfway through the program and he wanted to share something about his testosterone level. So check this out. When you go into a program like this one and you make a commitment to get better with women, to approach women, to learn how to speak to them, to learn how to attract them, your testosterone actually skyrockets.

2:54 And here is definitive proof of what can actually happen when you challenge yourself and move into your fears willingly. It gets you highly in your testosterone and it actually reduces cortisol. So check this out. This is from Neil, one of my clients in Australia. What is up, Neil? If you're listening, I'm sure you are. He says, hi, Mark. As I said yesterday, I got my testosterone and cortisol tested shortly before the program. They were at 172 and 45 respectively. Normal ranges are 8.3 to 29 and 160 to 620, i.e. I was below the normal range for testosterone, which really shocked me.

3:29 Fast forward to last week, which as a reminder, gentlemen, is six weeks halfway through the program and my testosterone and cortisol levels were at 9.6 and 375. That's up 16% and down 23%. When he says down, he means cortisol. And cortisol, of course, is responsible for stress in less than two months. So in less than two months, his testosterone went up by 16% and his cortisol went down by 23%. He continues to say, mate, I cannot tell you how much I feel these improvements. When I see an attractive girl, I have much stronger physiological reaction and instantly move towards her.

4:06 Plus, I'm much more stress-free and unaffected pretty much by anything, in particular women. Okay, so he goes on and on to explain all the results he's getting in the program. But I found that really interesting because while, of course, I theorized that my clients would get highly into their testosterone because they're getting tons of girls, they're getting tons of that positive reinforcement, I actually love that we now have scientific proof that it's true. And there's actually a lot of research that talks about how when you have high testosterone, it actually lowers your level of cortisol and women pick up on that pheromone.

4:42 So a lot of my guys come to me and they're like, dude, why are these girls reacting to me like never before? I don't understand what's happening here. I've never had a girl approach me. And I had like five different girls approach me in the last week. It's because when you get into your testosterone, when you get into that forward-thinking mentality, when you become truly an unapologetic man and you commit to this and really say to yourself, dude, I'm getting this part of my life solved, that's when those cortisol levels go down, testosterone goes up, and you emit a pheromone that I swear to God women can pick up on.

5:15 And that's part of the reason my guys get these great results is because when you commit to something and you have a community following you and there's accountability there and you have me asking you like, what did you do this week? Did you do the assignments? I'm going to kick you in the ass if you didn't. Then you actually do the work and then you get into your testosterone. You get better results. And once you start getting results with girls, it's like a snowball effect because you get addicted to it.

5:39 You want more and more of it because it's such just an amazing positive affirmation of you and the work that you're doing that my guys actually get addicted to it. And I don't even need to motivate them anymore after like probably four weeks. They're completely self-motivated and they kick ass. So if you'd like to come into the program, if you'd like to meet with me to talk about entering the program, go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the quick Jesus, slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that call together.

6:08 All right, gentlemen, we got a lot to cover today. And as I'm apt to do in this podcast, I always over deliver. So I'm actually giving you 12 regrets that most people have and stay tuned to the last one because this last one absolutely boggled my mind. I couldn't believe that people actually said this and it completely rearranged my own perception of what happiness actually is. So definitely stay tuned until the end. All right, let's go ahead and get into it. The first thing people regret when they die is that they didn't take enough risks, that they didn't move into their fears willingly.

6:44 And this is so paramount to what I do because I'm a dating coach and I tell guys to obviously approach girls, move into your fears, don't procrastinate, don't push it down the road, don't be a damn coward, but instead move into your fears willingly. Because on the opposite side of your fears is where peace is and that's where happiness is. So people who live their lives basically being afraid to take risks, being afraid to get what they really want because of fear, end up really regretting it at the end of their life.

7:13 Because obviously you're always thinking about what could have been, right? Am I the dude who I could have been or did I die as a guy who basically lived his life in a lot of wrong ways, right? It's like death of a salesman. He gets the end of his life and he asks, what if my whole life was wrong? What if I made the wrong decisions? What if I married the wrong woman? What if I lived in the wrong place, had the wrong job? And when you think about that, when you really consider it, it's pretty scary, isn't it?

7:39 And a lot of times that wrongness of not making courageous decisions comes because of fear. Because we settle for what's less than what we really want because of fear. Because we think we can't do better and then we get to the end of our life and we actually regret it. The second regret, which I find really interesting, is too much time working, which I'm actually doing right now. I should probably just leave, right? Because if that's a big regret, then I should go ride my mountain bike or go spend time with my family, which is actually one of the regrets coming in a minute.

8:11 But real talk, if you work too much, if you slave for that almighty dollar, as they say, that becomes a big regret because you can't take it with you. And I know a lot of people who pass away with a lot of money, they actually don't end up giving that money to their children, which I find really interesting. Like I think Warren Buffett promised his kids that they would get bagel, absolutely zero dollars from him, that they have to make it themselves. So we have to have balance when it comes to work.

8:39 And in my opinion, if you're not doing work that you would do anyway, like I would legit be doing this on my free time anyway, even if I wasn't getting paid for it, if it wasn't my job, this is my passion. This is my purpose. So if you're not doing your purpose and you're just slaving away to like buy things, to keep up with the Joneses, to have some sort of proof over others that you're actually a success, which is a big reason a lot of people work themselves into exhaustion.

9:05 When you do that, you end up regretting it at the end of your life. So working too much is number two. Number three is people wish they took better care of themselves. You see people all the time walking around in society who are basically carrying along with them a big old badonkadonk butt, or they look like a chicken McNugget with tits, or they look like a potato with a bathing suit on it. And you have to wonder yourself, like, what is in their psychology to let themselves get to that point?

9:30 They're not taking good enough care of themselves. In my opinion, unless you're working on yourself, unless you're getting coaching, listening to podcasts like this one, actually trying to work on yourself, then inevitably you're going to get to the end of your life and have regrets that you didn't take better care of yourself, you didn't become the man you could be, you didn't take the hand you were dealt in life and make the meanest hand possible. So taking good care of yourself, super important for when you get on your deathbed.

9:56 The fourth regret is spending money on things rather than experiences. So a lot of us, when we start making a lot of money, we buy things to impress other people. Gary V, I'm sure a lot of you guys have listened to him or watched his videos, says, why do you want that BMW, right? Why do you really want it? And the real answer is, is because you're trying to prove something to somebody else. You're trying to prove that you're successful. You're trying to prove that you've made it in life because a lot of us from our childhood have an issue with wanting to prove to others that we are success because it's an egoic need, right?

10:30 Well, why do you really want that Beamer? Why do you really want that Rolex? Like, do I really need a Rolex watch to have a superior experience when I'm looking at time? Or can I just get away with a $25 watch whose purpose is to simply tell the time? You have to ask yourself, like, what do I really want with these things that I'm buying? And why would I buy things for other people? Like, who cares what they think? Their opinion of me makes absolutely no difference.

10:57 And that goes back to my favorite book title, which is, What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. So people who buy things are often egoically wrapped up into the good opinion of others and thus they regret at the end of their life because at the end of your life, like, what anybody thinks of you doesn't matter. It literally doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter today either. So what they wish they spent their money on was experiences and experiences with their loved ones, experiences with their family.

11:24 I know for me, my number one priority when I have time off is my daughter. And she's two and a half years old. So we went to the park actually right before I sat down to record this. And I was kind of sitting there kind of bored, but I really knew I had to be present in that moment and really pay attention to her and watch her and enjoy her because those moments are fleeting. And when I get to the end of my life, when she's 38 years old and if I had been at the park today and not really enjoyed it or was on my cell phone the whole time, like scrolling through Instagram and not being present with her, that's something people regret because they want experiences.

11:59 They want that love to be in their life and they want to cry their death song knowing that they were completely themselves and they live for themselves, not others. And that goes into the next one, which is people regret that they became something that their parents wanted them to become. The neighbors wanted them to become society as a whole wanted them to become rather than living for themselves. So if you have something in your heart and somebody is pushing you to do something else, such as your parents, such as society, but your true passion is something else, you should definitely follow that because that's a massive regret.

12:34 Living for others, putting on a mask to try to appease others, kissing people's butts in order to try to raise your rank in life. I think people who are genuinely themselves, people who have a strong frame and make no apologies for who they are, those are the ones who die with a full heart and those who die happy. Number six is also super important is you care too much about what people think of you. And this goes back to buying stuff to appease others. This goes back to living your life in a way where you're trying to make other people happy.

13:07 You care way too much about what people think. It doesn't matter what they think. What you think of me is none of my business. Even if I get bad reviews, I get people hating on me, it doesn't affect me because what's most important to me is my own internal opinion of myself. And that, by the way, is very masculine. I talked about testosterone in the beginning of this episode, right? Well, when it comes to that, it's all about being internally validated. So Neil, whose testosterone is skyrocketing, has that internal validation.

13:36 So he doesn't care anymore so much about what people think, and therefore he's free of the good opinion of others, thus his testosterone raises. Plus, when you let go of what people think of you, there's so much peace in it. And I think that comes with age too. Like, I'm 45, and as I get older and older, I just care less and less about what people think. So with that comes a sense of freedom. Like, I'm not your slave anymore. And it says that in the Tao Te Ching that when you care about people's opinion of you, you become their slave.

14:05 And that's absolutely true. So letting go of the good opinion of others, living life for you, being genuinely yourself, lighting yourself on fire, and letting other people watch you burn is that path to becoming truly genuine, who you really are, like a child again, if you will. And that's where happiness and peace resides. Not caring about if you have a BMW trying to impress others. Not caring about if you get good reviews or bad reviews. Only being internally validated, thus your testosterone goes up, your happiness goes up, your peace goes up, and you die with less regret.

14:39 All right, number seven is you didn't love enough. Didn't love enough. I mean, this is so obvious for all of us. In my opinion, it doesn't require a big explanation. But just think about when you withhold love from others. Whether it's your mom, your kids, your loved ones, your brothers, your coworkers, even other people in society. I always ask myself, and this is really profound, this is like Buddha-level consciousness, right? Buddha-level consciousness. I ask myself, what would love do now? In any situation that you're faced with, even if somebody irritates you, you ask yourself, what would love do now?

15:16 And it's some of the hardest stuff to do, especially when somebody really pisses in your river. You want to be like, what would hate do now, right? But the higher consciousness asks, what would love do now? And to love on somebody who did you wrong is, in my opinion, like Jesus consciousness, Mother Teresa consciousness, Buddha-level consciousness. And when you get to that point of being able to love throughout your life, rather than live your life, you love your life, that's when your life takes on a cadence that will amaze and dazzle you.

15:46 And that's also when you're able to die knowing that, you know what, I did what was right. And that begs the question, too, like how do you know what's right and wrong? Well, in my opinion, you could take this or leave this if you want to, is right is that which creates peace and happiness for others as well as yourself. And wrong is that which creates suffering and misery for others as well as yourself. So running that through that filter always will equal love. And just ask yourself, what would love do now?

16:13 Like literally, you should have a bracelet that just says, what would love do now? People wear a bracelet that says, what would Jesus do? It's the same thing as what would love do? What would Buddha do? What would Muhammad do? What would anybody with a high level of consciousness do in that situation? It's loving and being love rather than being hate or being selfishness, being that ego. All right, the eighth thing people regret is taking life for granted, thinking that it lasts forever. And I know, especially you young bucks, you know, it's easy to take life for granted.

16:42 You think it's never going to end and you think you're basically indestructible. And I think that's okay to have that consciousness because it allows you to take risks. But at the same time, like this is fleeting, this is going to end. That which is born inevitably dies. It's part of the illusion that we're in right now. So as a part of that, people take it for granted. People squander their days. They waste their time doing things like watching endless amount of videos, watching Netflix, playing video games, masturbating too much, like not getting out there and actually experiencing life.

17:12 So those who took their life for granted really regret it when they die. So I want to ask you, are you taking your life for granted? Are you squandering it? Are you doing everything you can to take the hand you were dealt and make the meanest hand possible? Make this life as kick butt as you possibly can because, bro, you could be hit by a damn bus tomorrow. As you're considering what I'm saying here, you could literally die right now. Your heart could stop. You could get hit by a bolt of lightning.

17:37 You could get launched out of your window across the city because a freaking meteoroid hits next to your house. Like we don't know what's going to happen. So when people take that for granted, they end up regretting that they did so by the time they get to the end of their life. All right. Number nine is people wish they stayed in touch with their friends. I don't know how much this is important to me because I think there's like seasonal friends and I think there's lifelong friends.

18:00 But I guess those people who I consider lifelong friends, I should reach out to more. I should be more involved with. But like you, you know, we get involved in our lives. We get tied up in things and you don't always have time to reach out. So apparently that's a big regret for people and something that we should all consider. Number 10. I love because this is quintessential Mark Singh right here. They wish they didn't worry so much. They wish they didn't worry so much. Man, I'm just naturally a worrywart and I've worked on it endlessly over the last 20 years.

18:31 I've gotten way better. I'm like 1,000 times more mellow than I used to be. Part of that comes with age, but a lot of it comes with the self-work that I've done, but worrying about things. And why do we worry? It's a sense of uncertainty or a distant sense of threat in the future. So if you're constantly worrying about like, where's the money going to come from? Where the girl's going to come from? Some people even worry about like, where's the food going to come from? That worry creates more of what to worry about because life is like a magnet.

19:00 It's like a mirror that reflects back to you, your predominant thoughts. So ironically, the less you worry, actually, the more things work out for you because it's almost like faith. You have faith that things are going to work out and you're worrying does nothing to guarantee your safety. You're worrying does nothing to guarantee your safety. In fact, it actually attracts to you more of what to worry about. So there has to be a sense of faith in this life that, bro, everything has worked out for you pretty darn well so far up until this point.

19:30 So what did you think, based on the evidence, that things are going to continue working out for you? And don't you agree that for the most part, things generally work out? Yes, they do. So you have to tell yourself, this too shall pass. Everything's going to be okay. It's going to work out. I love people who have that philosophy and I've had to train that into myself religiously over the years. But I've gotten to a point where I can adhere to it generally pretty well. But when I find myself worrying, I'm like, bro, you're doing nothing.

20:01 Instead of worrying, why don't you get solution-oriented? And that, again, is being in your masculine energy. When you're solution-oriented, you're thinking about a solution rather than dwelling on the problem. And people who worried the whole time and spent their life thinking about problems that really never exist regretted at the end of their life. Mark Twain once said, I've had a life full of many problems, most of which never happened. I absolutely love that quote. All right, the 11th one, and this is so powerful in my opinion, is they didn't live in the now or they didn't live in the present moment.

20:33 So oftentimes, we're thinking about the future, which, as I said earlier, is worry or thinking about the past, dwelling on what didn't happen or what could have happened, living with regret. But instead, what people who are dying suggest is live in the now, be present. Like I was today with my daughter at the park. I was just watching her, really paying attention to her, kind of doing memory burns, as I call them. You see what she's doing and you kind of like take a screenshot with your eyes and try to burn that into your memory and just feel the good feeling of being.

21:03 Listen to the wind rushing by your ears, feel it on your skin, smell the smells in the air, hear the birds chirping, see the people playing in the park, look at the beautiful green of the grass or the mountains in the background with the snow on top. And this is what my favorite book, The Power of Now, talks about in really deep detail is how we can let our entire lives go by without fully being present, always living for what's going to happen in the future or always dwelling in the past.

21:33 Well, that's an illusion, isn't it? The only real thing that happens is now. In fact, it could be said that your entire life is unfolding in the now. That time is an illusion, which is only brought upon by distance, if you really think about it, point A to point B. Well, it's an illusion that we're stuck into and people are constantly thinking, constantly being in time rather than being in the now, out of time and just being present and appreciating and enjoying and being with what they have now.

22:03 It's one of the biggest regrets of those who are dying. All right, guys, and now my favorite one. This is number 12. Check this out. This blew my mind, okay? They didn't let themselves be happy. Okay, listen to that, and you think like, oh, why is that blowing your mind? Well, really think about that. They didn't let themselves be happy, which is to imply, which is to prove the point that you are responsible for your happiness. You get the life you choose. You are responsible for how happy you are, which means happiness is a choice.

22:34 Happiness is a choice, which I say all the damn time. And the fact that this was the number one regret of people who die goes to prove it, that you get the life you choose. You get the happiness you choose, and you have the power to either be miserable or to be happy based on what you choose. So really consider these 12 as you go about your day and really think to yourself, am I adhering to these? If I were to be on my deathbed tomorrow, which, make no mistake, could happen to any one of us, including me, am I going onto my deathbed with regrets?

23:07 Would I say to myself, man, I wish I loved more. I wish I was a better person. I wish I just took the time to be in the present moment. I wish I gave more. I wish I spent more on experiences. I wish I connected with my friends and told them I loved them. I wish I gave more to society as a whole and acted through love rather than through hate, fear, ego, and greed, but instead acted through that higher vibrating purpose that each of us has.

23:33 And that is to emanate love, to take this life, this short, tiny gift that each of us has been given and live the best life we can. I actually wasn't going to talk about this, but it reminds me of a poem that I had my Japanese friend write to me when I went to Saipan Island. Saipan Island was invaded by the Americans in World War II, and there was a bunch of Japanese inhabitants there that weren't involved in the war. Well, the Japanese army told the inhabitants who were Japanese that the Americans were going to kill them, that they were going to torture them, and it was going to be horrendous.

24:08 So when the Americans came, they lined up on a cliff, and it's today called Suicide Cliff, they lined up youngest to oldest in their family, and they pushed each other off the cliff. So all these Japanese inhabitants died on this island, and it really made me think about how precious this life is and how you have to take this one chance and live the best you can. So I actually had my good friend write me this poem, and later it was written by a professional shodo artist, and I hang the poem on my wall.

24:37 But in Japanese, it says, And what that means is, for their memory, as well as for my own spirit, or for their spirit and my spirit. And when I say their, it's those who have died, for the people who have died, as well as my own spirit, I will take this precious one chance, this precious infinitesimally small one gift that I've been given, and make the best possible life I can. Because this is a gift, and I intend not to squander it, and I want you guys to do the same thing.

25:13 All right, gentlemen, I hope you found value in that podcast. I know I certainly did. That's why I wanted to do it for so long, but I wanted to have the downloads that justify such an important topic. But really meditate on that, man. And if I were you, I'd listen to it again. Maybe even write down what those regrets are so that you can compare your life to the ruler stick of what other people regret. Because I guarantee you, when you're drawing your last breath, when it's time to leave this life, you're going to ask yourself, did I live the best life I could, or did I squander it?

25:46 Did I make a mistake? Did I not go into my fears, take risks, love enough, stay in touch with my friends, have enough experiences, have enough life, and be present with it to justify this gift, this precious gift that I've been given? Or did I squander it, and now I die with regrets? Which, and I have no experience with this, obviously, but which must be the most hellish experience. Can you imagine being on your deathbed and about to die, and you're like, bro, I wish I approached that girl, right?

26:18 I wish I had a wife that was worthy of me as a man. I wish I had the balls to invest in myself throughout my life and make myself into the best man I could be. As Ed Milad always says, he thinks when he dies, he's going to meet the most advanced version of himself. And he asks himself on a daily basis, will I recognize him as my twin brother, or will he be somebody completely foreign to me? I want to ask you the same thing.

26:44 What are you doing, brother, to advance yourself in the most extreme way possible? If you die tomorrow, would you have regrets in your heart? If the answer is yes, you know what to do, man. Move into your fears, because on the other side of fear is peace and happiness. If you'd like to meet with me to move into your fears when it comes to women, I want to meet with you, too. Go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching. Fill in the quick, hey, Sue, slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that call together.

27:14 As a reminder, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.