How to be Confident Even When You're Short, Ugly, Fat or Suffer From an "Unattractive" Condition

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do. That's right. Smack yourself on the ass. You are a goddamn champion. If you're new to the show, welcome. What I try to do in this show is give the best information in the shortest amount of time possible.

0:38 Today, we're going to talk about how to be confident even when you're short, ugly, fat, or suffer from a quote-unquote unattractive condition. Before I jump into that, I want to thank you guys once again for the awesome reviews. If you do leave me a review, please write me at coachmarksing at gmail.com, and I will send you a bunch of awesome programs. A conversation sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction, guide to the female orgasm, how to make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women.

1:13 Impress your friends, baffle your enemies. If you do that, I will also get your name tattooed on my butt, and I'll get a life-size statue of you put in my backyard. So, without further ado, what do you say we jump right into the content? Alright, so some of you guys are listening to this episode, and unfortunately, like me, you have some physical thing about you that you feel is unattractive. You're unconfident about it, you're insecure about it, and you're wondering how you can be confident even when you have this big flaw.

1:45 Maybe you're overweight, maybe you're short, maybe you're ugly, or, like a message I got from a listener, you have cystic acne. I got a question from a listener from Norway, and the dude's name is Thor. Can you believe that? I'm like, Thor, holy shit, what an awesome fucking name, and he's suffering from cystic acne. So, while we all have things about ourselves that we don't like, that's a pretty bad deal that he was given. And Thor, buddy, I feel for you, man. I had some pretty bad acne myself, and I don't know if you've tried this, but I actually got an Accutane, and that cleared it up pretty quickly.

2:20 It's really powerful. I'm sure you've heard of it. I'm sure you've tried it. I don't know if they have it in Norway, but maybe it's something you can look into. But I still want to give you, as well as the rest of my listeners, some good tips about how to handle it. When you have something about yourself that you feel is unattractive, maybe you're short, you know, maybe you're really obese, and you can't really persevere past it, you're not able to lose your weight, and you're wondering how you can reconcile this physical malady with still being able to attract women.

2:49 And so we are going to get heavy into that, heavy into the philosophy, and I actually want you to get excited because the answer I'm going to tell you is probably counterintuitive to what you're thinking, and women's attraction is actually beneficial to us in this way, and I'm going to explain exactly how that is. All right, to kick off this episode, I want to begin it with a quote, and that quote is, So no matter where you're coming from, how low you think you are, I guarantee you that everybody who ever achieved success was once at a place that you are now.

3:28 Even if you're telling me, no, no, no, Mark, you have no idea how bad I have it. I'm this many years old, I'm bald, ugly, fat, short, I've got all of it, there's no way I can rise from this. And I'm willing to disagree with you on that point, because you certainly can get past it. I've gotten past it, and others have gotten past it as well, so there's always hope for you, and I'm going to tell you something huge right now, is it doesn't freaking matter if you're too short, it doesn't matter if you're overweight, doesn't matter if you're bald, ugly, or like our friend Thor, you have cystic acne.

4:02 You can still get women attracted to you, and the reason that is, is because women's attraction for you has very little to do with your physical looks. It has everything to do with how you feel about your physical looks, how much you accept yourself, how confident you are when it comes to how you look. So take a short guy, for example, and all of us have seen this, is sometimes you'll see short guys who are extremely confident. They just kind of have a cockiness about themselves, sometimes referred to as the Napoleon syndrome.

4:35 But sometimes you get these guys, and I've seen them myself, where they pull the hottest chicks you've ever seen. One of the hottest girls I've ever seen was with a guy who was far shorter than her. He was super confident. He led her to where she wanted to go. He did all the things that I teach you guys in this podcast, and even though he was short, it didn't matter to him. He didn't make it a big deal, so she didn't make it a big deal.

4:58 One of the ugliest guys I've ever seen, he was fat, short, and freaking ugly, was making out with one of the hottest girls I've ever seen at a club. And I just studied the guy, and I just watched his body language, and I watched his mannerisms. And the difference between him and you is that he accepted himself as if he himself chose the way he is. And that's the secret, is you have to have radical self-acceptance. Just accept it as if you yourself chose it, as if you were at the pearly gates about to come into this world, and God said to you, all right, man, how do you want to look?

5:34 And you actually chose the suit that you're in now. You chose that acne. You chose your height. You chose your obesity. You chose it consciously, and you accept it, you're proud of it, and you don't fucking make it affect how you talk to women. And we're going to get into how to accept yourself in a minute. But the initial point is this, is that your confidence is the thing that matters most. You could talk to any girl you want, and she'll have a crush on some movie star who's really unattractive, or some athlete, or some guy, whoever, that typically doesn't fit into the archetype of what we call good-looking.

6:11 And you're just in there scratching your head like, what? Him? Why would you be attracted to him? And the reason is, is because he has that radical self-acceptance. He just has that confidence, that swagger that makes men attractive to women. So if you could just accept it, then there's the ballgame right there, man. You just fucking won. Really, that's all it takes. Now, here's something you probably never considered. Did you know that good-looking guys who aren't extremely confident actually have a hindrance compared to guys who aren't as good-looking, who aren't as confident?

6:45 So, for example, take a really good-looking guy who has a confidence of, like, a six. And then you take an average-looking guy who also has a confidence of six. She will actually get more attracted to the average-looking guy who has a confidence of six over the good-looking guy who has an average confidence of six because the good-looking guy should be confident in her eyes. So the fact that he isn't confident is almost like a hit against him. And you guys who are good-looking are probably listening to this and being like, yeah, man, that's what it is.

7:18 I call it the good-looking loser syndrome, which is when you're a good-looking, tall, alpha, Chad kind of guy, we can even say the three sixes. I had this client mention to me this the other day. The three sixes, six foot tall, making six figures, got a six-inch dick. Was that the third one? I forget what the third one was, but you get what I'm referring to. Well, when you don't telegraph that, when you have all these physical attributes, monetary attributes, and you don't telegraph that with your confidence, she's actually going to lose attraction for you because you should be that confident.

7:52 So the fact that you're not that confident is a big knock against you as a man because she's like, well, how weak is he that he can't even be confident and speak to me confidently when he looks like that? And this is why a lot of good-looking guys, the good-looking loser phenomenon that I talk about a lot, which I'm going to do a podcast episode on in the future, this is why it happens, is because you set the bar so high for yourself by being that good-looking that when you're not congruent with it, you get blown out.

8:21 Well, the opposite also works, but it works to your benefit. If you're not good-looking and you're more confident than you quote-unquote should be, that gets instant attraction from women. So once again, we have the slightly lesser-looking guy who also has a confidence of six. He's going to have better success because he shouldn't be that confident. So our boy Thor over there in Norway, if he was highly confident, completely accepted himself, even went to the point where he called himself pizza face and made jokes about his acne to people without giving a shit, like literally without giving a shit, not joking about himself in a way that like you can tell it still bothers him, but literally with a carefree heart, joking about it in a way where it almost seems like he's complimenting himself or he likes to talk about it.

9:13 Like let's say he was making, I don't know, a million dollars a year and he made a joke about that and everybody laughs and he's laughing along with them. Well, in that instance, anybody would have a carefree heart. But if you can laugh the same way when it's about something that you consider a physical malady, something that should quote-unquote be unattractive, then that's going to get massive attraction from women. That's why I always say when women like make fun of me about my skinny legs, I laugh as if they just complimented me and told me that I was the sexiest man they've ever seen.

9:45 Like I kind of put my head back and I look at the ceiling and I laugh and I kind of close my eyes and it's like, feels so good that you just made fun of my skinny legs. Well, what does that show her? That shows her that I've completely accepted my skinny legs, which by the way are so skinny, I have to be careful not to get too close to the drain in the shower because I don't want to slip down that thing like my dad did back in 1987, which is one of the jokes I always say.

10:10 Okay, so again, making jokes about it, being carefree, like telling a girl, be careful, these volcanoes on my face are likely to erupt if you get me mad, so don't piss me off, or something like that to show that you really don't give a shit. So this also goes back to something I spoke about a long time ago, and I doubt the majority of you guys have heard it, so I'm cool to repeat it, which is the birds of paradise. So there's these birds on this island, it's this rare island out somewhere, I don't know, Sri Lanka or something like that, Galapagos, I don't know where it is, but they're called the birds of paradise.

10:44 And they have these really long, cumbersome tails. So the longer his tail is, the more attractive he is to the female birds. Why is that? Because it shows survivability. So even though he has this long ass tail, which gets caught in the trees, which makes predators see him more easily, which slows down his flight, he's still able to survive. So when you have a long, cumbersome tail, when you have something that shouldn't, and shouldn't is the operative word, help you survive, then you actually become more attractive to the female members of your species because it shows your survivability.

11:23 So if you're short and you're super fucking confident, you're super charismatic, you're basically a champion who acts like he's six foot three and completely shredded, well then the woman thinks, wow, if he's able to succeed in life and be so confident, even though he's short, he must have a high survivability value and women's attraction is based on your ability to survive. So it communicates that same thing that the birds of paradise communicates. Hey, I got this long ass tail. It's cumbersome. It's a hindrance, quote unquote, but I'm still kicking ass, taking names, surviving.

11:56 So what's up? And she says, oh my God, this is a true alpha. I get attracted to him. It's like the age old analogy of the peacock eating poison. The reason the peacock's feathers are so bright, the reason they're so big is because he eats poison and that's why they become that bright. So we can look at our maladies, our physical limitations, those things which are unattractive as a positive thing that when they're unattractive and we accept it once again, as if we chose it, then we become infinitely more attractive to women.

12:31 I like having skinny legs. Girls make fun of me about it all the time. I also have no butt. My whole bottom half of my body is a fucking disaster, man. It's a mess. But it's actually an advantage to me because when they make fun of me, I totally go with it. I laugh as if they just complimented me and I have jokes myself that add on to what they said to show them I truly don't fucking care. I have accepted myself and listen, every single person listening to this episode has things about him he doesn't like.

13:02 I guarantee you his nose, his eyes, his teeth, his body, his man boobs, his spare tire. Shit. I used to look like a chicken McNugget with tits and then I had deer legs on the bottom. It was horrible. It was horrible. But even at that time, even though I've totally gotten that in check, not my legs yet, but I've totally gotten the chicken McNugget with tits look in check, even though I got that in check, back then when I looked like that, I acted, and I want to say acted because I'm going to get back to it in a second, as if it completely didn't affect me, as if I totally didn't care.

13:37 And because women thought that I was that confident in myself, it actually made them more attracted to me. In a way, it was more advantageous to have the chicken McNugget with tits look than it is to be ripped just because I could show them I completely accepted myself. Now, getting back to my previous point, I didn't fully accept myself. I didn't like the way I looked. And that's a whole different podcast episode because I knew that I was being weak. I knew that I wasn't maintaining a steady diet.

14:08 I knew I wasn't working out. I knew I wasn't engaging my discipline, my masculinity, my courage to go into the gym and tackle this problem that I've been avoiding. So yeah, I had an internal issue with it, but my confidence was at a point where I could pretend to accept it and kind of accept it. But it wasn't until I really became the true version of myself, which is a guy who pushes himself, has discipline, do whatever the fuck it takes to be the best version of himself, both in my body, in my business, with my relationship, everything that I could truly feel that massive confidence and then telegraph that to women and then get really good attraction on top of that.

14:52 So really, it doesn't matter so much what you look like. If you can accept yourself how you look, that's all that matters. But my question is this, especially if you're obese, can you accept that? Now, when it comes to weight, that's something that I personally feel you can do something about for most of you guys. But Thor, for example, with this cystic acne, guy can't really do much about that. I'm sure he's tried everything on the market at that point, just like your height, if you're short, just like your bald head, if you're bald, if you can't do anything about it, then accept it as if you've chosen it.

15:28 If you can do something about it, the best way to accept yourself is to have discipline and solve it. OK, but let's say you are fat and you can't lose that weight. In my opinion, you just have to fucking accept it and go to a girl and be like, dude, I like how my spare tire is really building up. It keeps me warm during these winter months. Joke with her. Say, you know what? I'm your biggest fan. And she laughs. She's like, what are you talking about?

15:52 Look, look how big I am. I'm your biggest fan ever. And she laughs about it. Once again, if you don't give a shit about it, she won't give a shit about it. All right. So how to accept these things that we hate about ourselves? Well, guys, I do NLP, which is neurolinguistic programming, and you may have programs inside your brain that basically say that the way you are, too short, too bald, too fat, those are programs inside your brain that continue to get you either the same results or continue to make you think that the way you are is bad.

16:26 But look at what everything I just said. Let's take your height, for example, because height is one of those things that we just can't change. Okay, is being short really bad? Is there empirical evidence that you can scientifically prove that being short is bad, even in the realm of attraction? No. Why? Because while girls will say, oh, I want a tall guy, you're nixed on Tinder because you're under 5'11", all that bullshit, you get that same guy who's 5'6", and has radical self-acceptance, who meets that girl in person, she's going to get attracted to him.

17:04 Okay, so we realize, fine, the online dating apps probably aren't a great way for a short guy to go, but still, is there empirical evidence to prove that being short is a hindrance with attraction, with life, with being an alpha male? Fuck no. There's absolutely no evidence because I've seen short dudes pull girls. I've seen ugly guys pull girls, bald guys, fat guys, everything, guys with cystic acne pull girls. So because there's no empirical evidence that can prove your assumption, what you have to do is throw out the fucking assumption, is say, wait a minute, the way I'm thinking about this is wrong.

17:41 I've been fighting against this. I've been resenting it. I've been saying that this is the reason I've been not getting girls, and I've been leaning on this as a fucking excuse. I'm going to throw that out, and I'm going to accept it. How do you accept it? You start being kind towards it. You start saying, you know what? I'm short. I'm fucking cool with that. Being short's awesome. It's more comfortable in the airlines. I would fucking kick ass in jungle warfare. I fit into all beds.

18:06 I rarely hit my head on cupboards. I can drive literally any car out there, because I'll tell you what, as a tall dude, a six foot two guy, half the shit I can't even fit into, and don't even get me started on flying in airplanes. So is being tall really better? Well, Mark, girls are attracted to tall guys. Yeah, but flying on an airplane fucking sucks. I can hardly get fucking pants that fit me, because my legs are 36 feet long. So it's like, we could sit here arguing about what's good and what's bad.

18:34 It's the way you've labeled it. Now, you might have other people like society, things like that, saying, oh, don't be fat. Women prefer six pack abs. Don't be ugly. Women prefer beautiful faces. Don't be poor. Women prefer rich guys. These are all bullshit fucking messages that are sent out by the media, by movies, by everybody else who has taught you to think this way. You have been given this programming before you can defend yourself from it. But let me ask you, if you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of based on your looks, whatever it is, height, obesity, acne, whatever it is, don't you think it's the better idea to shift your programming around it and choose a new program?

19:16 And if you know that women's attraction is fully and completely based on you accepting yourself, what is the answer there? To fucking accept it as if you've chosen it. Now, I will say sometimes that requires intrusive things like NLP to remove the program from your brain. But I'll tell you this, 60% of changing a program is the awareness alone to know that it's just a fucking illusion. What you're believing in, what you're thinking is just an illusion that somebody else gave you. And here's the thing, when you consciously choose that into a different illusion, which is I'm a fucking alpha despite having the acne.

19:58 I'm a fucking alpha despite being fat, short, ugly, bald, whatever your issue is. Or like me, skinny as a motherfucker, legs so skinny, if I was to kick you in the ass, it would go right up your butthole and we never get my leg out again. Once we reframe that and we say, you know what, I accept it, I'm cool with it, I think it's funny, I think it's great, then she will too. So what's the secret here? The secret is to choose all your beliefs.

20:22 And this comes down to money too. All your beliefs about money, question them. Whose beliefs are they? Are they yours? Are they your dad's? Are they your uncle's? Are they some poverty stricken relative who gave you shitty program that's just dragging you down? Is it the church's beliefs? Who is it? Whose is it? Is it working for you? Are you making enough money? Are you getting enough chicks? No, then change your fucking belief. And like the birds of paradise, when you accept and survive, despite having that quote unquote physical malady, women will get infinitely more attracted to you because of it.

21:00 Lastly, and Thor, this is specifically for you, bro. Stop fighting your acne. Let's change that completely and start being kind towards it. Thank it. How could you thank it, you ask? Because it's putting you through a challenge and making you a stronger man. What you resist persists. The more you fight it, the more those acnes are going to come up. Start being kind to it. Start accepting it. Start inviting it. Start being peaceful towards it and say, you know what, you're here. Welcome to live on my face.

21:29 You're totally fine. I'm no longer fighting against you. I'm surrendering. There's nothing I can do about it. Clearly. I've tried Accutane. I've tried Proactive. I've tried all that shit. So fuck it. I'm just going to live with it. Just like me and my skinny legs. I also have varicose veins, by the way, in my right leg. And I used to hate those things so much. Eventually, I was just like, yeah, fuck it. Whatever. There's nothing I could do about it. So I'm just accepting it. Girls see me all the time with my shorts on.

21:57 They don't give two shits because my confidence and my self-acceptance and my ability to even joke about those things is so high value that when you accept it, they accept it. How do you accept it, Thor? You just say to yourself, I accept you as if I chose you. I am now peaceful towards you. I'm no longer resisting you because what you look at disappears, which means what you accept will go away. Now, I'm not making any promises, but watch what happens when you start to have a peaceful attitude towards your acne.

22:30 I can almost guarantee you that a lot of it will start to go away. That's just how life works spiritually. And for you short guys out there, when you're like, you know what, I'm short. Fuck it. There's a lot of advantages to it. I'm cool with it. I'm literally cool with it. Watch what happens. It won't even be an issue anymore. You'll start meeting girls who don't give a two shits about height. You'll start seeing the advantages of being a slightly shorter guy. This is how life works, man.

22:55 It's all about your perception. You are literally thinking of the picture, painting it, and stepping inside of it. So what picture are you going to think of next? Are you going to think of calamity, unhappiness, unattractiveness, girls rejecting you because of this physical malady that you say you have and that you say is unattractive to women? Or are you going to say, I'm attractive to women because I accept myself despite having these physical maladies, despite not being perfect. I accept my flaws because that's what a silverback fucking does.

23:28 So those are my ideas on that, guys. I hope that's helped you to some extent. I wanted to possibly roll out this idea of having a question and answer session every couple of weeks or something like that. So I'm going to throw it out there on this podcast to begin with and I'll kind of see if I get any questions via email and then I can put them all together and have like a Q&A session for you guys where I take a bunch of questions and I basically answer them on the podcast.

23:54 I think that would be really good. Thor, thank you again for your question. Now, if you guys have any questions for me that you'd like for me to answer, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I'll take it under consideration. I'll do this for a few more weeks, kind of advertising this Q&A idea, kind of see what I get and see if it makes sense to move forward with it. And then if I do, I'll name it Q&A or something like that so you can look out for that in the future.

24:19 All right, boys, thank you so much for listening. Once again, man, we all have things we don't like about ourselves, but the guys who pull girls, there's one simple difference. They accept themselves as if they themselves chose it. I got another awesome episode coming up on Wednesday, so please stay tuned for that. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.