How to Develop Your Tenacity and Resilience as a Man Should

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Uniform Mike Papa. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about how to develop your resiliency and your tenacity. A lot of you guys are tenacious motherfuckers because you just don't quit. You want to improve yourself. Why else would you be listening to a podcast like this one?

0:37 And I never, ever do this. I actually have never done this once on this entire podcast of almost 500 episodes. I'm going to read a message that I got from a listener of the podcast. Usually I just read messages from my clients, but this is from a listener of the podcast. And I was absolutely blown away by this. It really gives my life meaning to know that I can help somebody like this so much. Even if it's just one dude, I just feel overjoyed that I'm able to do this.

1:02 So I'm going to read this and then we're going to jump into the content. Thank you for everything, Mark. Your podcast literally changed my life. You gave me the self-confidence to really believe in myself. I know I'm the prize now. Because of you, I was motivated to continue working out and making myself the best version of myself. I've lost 56 pounds in the past few months through strict dieting and working out every day. You helped give me the belief that I'm strong enough to do great things, which inspired me to give up smoking weed after 14 years.

1:29 Day 17 and life couldn't be better. I'm currently waiting to take my date out for our third date. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have even asked her out. You're a fucking legend, dude. Thanks again. I get those messages periodically, but there was something particular about that one that really struck a chord with me. And this dude is showing resiliency. He's showing tenacity. And that's why I want to talk about that today. So not to get too personal, but I have a lot of stress on my shoulders right now.

1:55 There's just a lot of life situations that have come together at the same time where I feel like there's a mountain of pressure on my shoulders. How many of you guys can relate to that, right? Where life just throws you so much fucking bullshit. Sometimes you're just sick of it. And I don't know about you, but sometimes I'll even say like, dude, what the fuck is the point of this? Why does it always have to be so tough? Why is there so many challenges? Can we just have a break?

2:21 Can we just get on the damn beach, sip a margarita and chill out? And that really gets me thinking a lot about resiliency and tenacity. I was watching this documentary the other night about this dude who won the lottery. He basically gets $10,000 a month to do nothing for the rest of his life. $10,000 a month is good. You can live on that for sure and have a good life. And he certainly does. So what he does with his money is he just has fun. For the past few years, all he's been doing is just having fun.

2:48 And one thing he really likes to do is to invite a bunch of hot girls to his house to be in his pool and to basically party every day. He golfs, he goes out on his boat and he just surrounds himself with all these hot chicks. So I'm watching this dude and I'm kind of looking at him and I'm like, yeah, this guy's low value, man. I can just tell by the way his body language is, the way he holds himself, the way he speaks. I'm like, this guy doesn't get chicks.

3:14 So fortunately for me as a dating coach, I'm always obsessed with what gets girls. And I was hoping they would ask him about his dating life because I put out the guess. I was like, this guy doesn't get girls. And sure enough, the interviewer asked him, she's like, do you have a girlfriend? And he's like, no. And she's like, when's the last time you had a girlfriend? He's like, it's been like eight months. Okay. So here's this dude who's surrounded by chicks, who's quote unquote rich, has the party lifestyle, yet no girls are attracted to him.

3:44 Why aren't they attracted to him? Well, when looking at the dude, you can clearly tell the dude hasn't been working on himself. He hasn't gone into travails willingly. He hasn't overcome challenges like the guy who just wrote me that message about quitting weed, losing 56 pounds and going into these challenges willingly. He's just kind of like a trust fund baby who got this money. He won the lottery. I think he was a mechanic before, but you could tell just by looking at him that he hasn't developed in any way whatsoever.

4:09 So even when you have all these girls around you, which would indicate pre-selection and pre-selection is other girls will be attracted to you when you have girls with you, the dude still can't pull. So the first thing we have to understand is that you getting through your challenges and you facing them like a fucking man is one of the best ways to make yourself more attractive to women. In fact, women are built to sense how much a dude has worked on himself. They're built to sense how much adversity the guy has overcome and how he's grown into the best version of himself.

4:42 Why is this important to women? The reason it's important is because women's entire attraction for you is built on what boys. A lot of you guys know this. That's right. Survivability, survivability, your ability to survive in today's environment. And more importantly, your social survivability. Okay. How much crap you've been through and bettered yourself from it, how social you are and how socially skilled you are, how persuasive you are, how confident you are, how ambitious you are. This shows that you're going to survive in today's society and probably become successful.

5:17 This too is why money is seemingly attractive to women, but it's not the money that's attractive. It's what it indicates that's attractive. It usually indicates ambition. It usually indicates persevering through adversity. It usually indicates a never fucking quit attitude. And I will get this money no matter what, which is resilience. But then we look at the dude who won the lottery. He got the money, but he didn't do it through his resilience, through his tenacity. He was just given it. And he still has those low value mannerisms.

5:48 He's still kind of a dube sloob. And girls are like, ew, this guy's disgusting. I'll use his boat. I'll use his pool. I'll use him, but I ain't gonna hook up with him. And that's why the dude hasn't been laid in probably a year is what I'd be guessing. Yet he has all these chicks around him. So what I want to put to you, brother, is that the more shit that you go through and grow from, and that's really important. I want you to keep listening because I'm going to explain this.

6:13 The more shit that you've gone through, and I know a lot of you guys have gone through a ton of shit. You wouldn't be listening to this unless you did. You'd be just like homeboy who's just partying it up and not trying to improve himself. But all that stuff that you've gone through is rungs on the ladder. And I say this all the time in my coaching. You go through something bad and you get over it and you persevere past it. That's a rung on the ladder that you just stepped up on to make yourself that much better.

6:36 So resiliency is the ability to stay in something even though it fucking sucks. Now here's the difference. You get some people who have had a lot of shit happen to them and they don't grow from it. They don't look at it as a blessing, really. They look at it as bad luck. I'm a victim. Why did this happen to me? And they have that poor me attitude. And a lot of times they're living in the past. What happens to these people is those adversities actually bring them down.

7:05 But people like you and me who have gone through adversities and we try to better ourselves because of them, that brings us up. So therein lies your decision. How you look at things that happen to you is going to dictate your resilience and your tenacity. Do you have resilience? Do you have tenacity? I don't know you, but I'm going to tell you this. It's a simple decision. What's the decision? The decision is no matter what happens to me, I'm going to look at it as a good thing because I know it's going to grow me.

7:34 And that is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make because if you decide it's going to take you down, have the poor me, woes me attitude like, oh, my life fucking sucks and I'm getting the shit end of the stick. That's what your life is going to be. You create your life through your attitude, through your perspective, through your frame, the way you frame the picture of your life that's unfolding. So when something happens to you, it is your job, brother. And I really want you to try to take on this philosophy to say to yourself, sweet, dude, I get to overcome this.

8:05 This is going to make me into a better man. When you come into my three-month coaching program, I give you this thing called the Mark Singh Video Anthology. It's 13 hours of videos. I believe there's 45 individual videos that teach seduction from A to Z. And I use it as a supplement to my week-to-week teachings. And I created it about six years ago. About twice a month, a client will email me and be like, Mark, I cannot believe how different you are from those videos, the Mark Singh Video Anthology, to today.

8:37 And it's only been about six years. And it's a big compliment to me because, yeah, I'm way different. I hold myself different. I talk differently. Even though at that time, I was pulling upon pulling, I really felt like I was developing myself as a man. But I am eons ahead of where I used to be then. And that was only six years ago. So when you go into adversity and you take on challenges and you see those challenges as a way to ameliorate yourself, get yourself to that next level of championhood, then you have control of your life.

9:05 Because here's something you may not like to hear. Your problems are never going to stop. There's always going to be bullshit sent at you. We think oftentimes unconsciously that if I could just get to this situation, if I could, for example, just win the lottery like homeboy did, my life will be solved. Do you think his life is solved? Fuck no. I could tell the dude's miserable. Even though he's got all these chicks around him, it's like you're starving and there's beautiful steaks all around you and you're not allowed to eat them.

9:35 How do you think that guy feels? He's probably pretty bummed. And brother, if you happen to listen to this, hit me up. Let's get you into the program. I will get you those chicks. I will get you fucking their friends. I will get you so much sex. Your dick is going to hurt. So when it comes to this illusion that I'll eventually arrive to a place where all my problems are gone, I'm complete. It's all done. That don't exist, brother. As long as you're on this earth, problems are going to happen.

10:00 Why? Now this goes into a more spiritual perspective. Whether or not you believe what I'm about to say, it doesn't matter, but just have an open mind and take it on. I have listened to hundreds, even thousands of near-death experiences. And I've read several books of researchers of near-death experiences. And pretty much conclusively, what the point of life is, according to all these stories and what they've heard on the other side, is that we are here to grow. We are here to develop into the next best version of ourselves.

10:28 This too is why I believe if you go back a hundred years, we are way better today than our ancestors were a hundred years ago. It always makes me laugh when people say, man, let's get back to old world values. And when people were tough and guys were real men. And on some levels, I do agree with that, but you are so much better than your parents, so much better than your grandparents, so much better than generations ago, because we continue to grow and we continue to improve.

10:57 So all the evidence points to the fact that, yeah, we are here to grow. We are here to develop. And it's being represented as society as a whole. We can focus on all the bad stuff, but you have to admit we've come a really long way as a society. And you brother, you listening, are probably better than your parents, are probably better than your grandparents. And the reason that is, is because you are sent pain, P-A-I-N, in order to grow you to the next highest level.

11:20 If you choose to look at that pain as an opportunity, rather than a victim stroke against you, you will have power over it and you will be able to get that tenacity, resilience to get through it. Now you get to the highest level. What's that saying? The bigger the problems, the bigger the man. That's true. The higher you grow, the bigger your problems are going to be. But here's something I want to tell you, brother. I believe you won't be given anything in life that you can't overcome.

11:52 Okay, all of us, especially collectively, me speaking, the tens of thousands of guys listening right now, between all of us, there's going to be some nuclear power bullshit that is going to come into our lives. Like if we're one team, one army, and we look at all the bullshit that's going to come to us, that's a lot of stuff. But we have the power to get through it. And that's your resiliency. Also choosing to go into pain willingly. There's a saying I love that says, if you do what's hard, your life will be easy.

12:21 If you do what's easy, your life will be hard. So lottery guy, right? He's doing what's easy and his life is hard. It's wholly unfulfilling. Even though it seems like the dream life, it's unfulfilling. You guys ever see Dan Bilzerian? You ever hear him talk? That dude is so bummed out all the time on interviews. He does have a lot of tenacity though, because I don't know if you guys know about him, but he was a Navy SEAL and he like got dropped out, but he got through hell week.

12:49 So I know the dude has a lot of spirit. He's ripped. There's a lot of good things about him, but he's like, man, having sex with tons and tons of girls. And he admits that he's addicted to sex is wholly unfulfilling. And he actually said this, he's like, every time you have sex with a girl, a piece of your soul is put into her and it's gone forever. And I've experienced that too, where I was just banging as many girls as I could. All it was, was flesh fulfillment where I just wanted to get my dick wet and come and feel that very brief sense of joy.

13:23 And then the next minute it's gone. It's wholly unfulfilling. It's like eating cotton candy or masturbating all the time to porn or doing drugs or eating like shit. All these things lead to more pain because they come from the easy path. Do what's easy and your life will be hard. And you see people who just indulge in transient sense gratification, which is short term sensory gratification and their lives are miserable. Then you get a guy who's disciplined, who moves into his problems willingly, who sees calamity and those things that go wrong in his life as an opportunity to get him to the next level.

13:58 His life is ultimately easy even though he's doing hard things. Because when you do hard things and you overcome them, you are given the biggest dose of dopamine, the biggest dose of endorphins to make yourself feel better. And you persevere to that next level. And I'm telling you guys, when you continue to face your fears, move into them willingly, look at your traumas from your past, look at your bullshit belief systems and face them like a man does. You will be more fulfilled, more happy, more at peace than you've ever been before.

14:28 And that's tenacity. That's resiliency. Tenacity is defined as mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger or hardship. And resiliency is defined as the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. And that's what all you guys have. I know you do. You wouldn't be listening this far into this podcast unless you did. So the trick in this episode is to welcome challenges and see them as opportunities to grow to the next level. And masculinity moves into challenges with a solution oriented mindset, which means how can I solve this?

15:07 What can I do to make this better? And then creativity happens. And through creativity, you get enthusiasm. Enthusiasm in its original Greek translation means to be possessed by a God and you have that joy come up in your life and then you crush the fucking goal and you wake up the next morning and you're like, fuck yeah, dude, I'm resilient. And then you grow to that next level where somebody will see a video of you from six years ago and say, dude, you are so different the way you hold yourself, the way you talk.

15:36 And almost as important, boys, girls begin to react to you too. Women can see this in you. There's just something different about him, the way he holds himself. He looks like a rock that's been hit by wave after wave after wave and has polished him down into this beautiful rock that doesn't look like an average rock. That's all gritty and it has all this shit on it. It hasn't worked on itself. He's been smoothed into this simple stance of championhood, this simplicity of confidence that I'm drawn to that.

16:07 Then girls literally throw themselves at you. As I always say, right, they jump in the air and slide onto your dick. That's the way it works. So let's be resilient. Let's be tenacious. Let's move into our problems with the forward solution oriented mindset and watch your life change in ways that you never thought possible. One of the most important decisions you ever make, in my opinion, is whether you view challenges as an opportunity or as a calamity. Calamity means something that happened to you from that victim mindset.

16:38 My advice to you is to see it as an opportunity. Crush it with a solution oriented creative mindset and you will grow to that next level. Continue to do that because problems are going to keep coming the rest of your life. And by the time you're old, you're just going to be this wise man living in a cave that the townspeople go up to visit once a month and are all in awe of because you're that level of championhood. And all the chicks who live in town, they're going to be like jumping in the air and try to slide onto your dick and your dick's going to be so sore.

17:03 It looks like a shriveled burn victim hiding in the corner of your underwear. That's the level boys. So are you going into your pain willingly or are you shying away from it? Step the fuck up, be a Spartan, challenge it, look it in the eye and say, I will defeat you. Why? Because I am never out of the fight. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.