Want More Girls Attracted to You? Then You Need "The Show Off Method!!!"

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about the show-off method to get girls more attracted to you. I've been watching sports a lot over the past couple of months. Sports really mellow me out. I don't know about you guys, but there's just something about them.

0:36 I like baseball. I like soccer. I like basketball, American football, British football, all of it. Absolutely love sports. And one thing I noticed is that the top performers have something about them. They have something that's just different. And I really started thinking about it, and particularly from the context of, man, don't these guys get stressed out? Don't they freak out that people are watching them, not only just at the stadium, but millions and millions of people are watching them on TV. This one game, especially where Lionel Messi just joined Inter-Miami, which, dude, I'm so thankful for, man.

1:11 I mean, Lionel Messi has brought so much attention onto MLS, Major League Soccer, where I really feel like it's going to explode just thanks to him. I mean, I know myself, I got Apple TV just because he joined Inter-Miami. I just wanted to watch him play. I wanted to see what he could do, and he really has not disappointed. I don't know if you guys have been following this, but it's been absolutely spectacular. The guy lives up to his reputation of being the GOAT, the greatest of all time.

1:39 And his very first game came down to the very last second, a free kick from 30 yards out. The other team built a wall in front of him. And sure enough, man, he kicks the ball, curls it over the wall into the top left corner of the net and wins the game. And they're interviewing him at the end, and they're like, what were you thinking? What were you feeling? And he said, you know, I knew I had to score the goal, so I scored the goal. Anyway, thanks for the interview, and he walks off.

2:05 And I was thinking, what does it take to get to that point? And I look at other players, not only soccer players, but baseball players, football players, and the best guys have something about them where the pressure doesn't affect them. And I really started thinking of it from a psychology perspective. What is going on inside their heads where they don't get affected by that pressure? And what occurred to me is that these guys like to show off. They like to be watched. They like people to put the pressure on them because they want as many people as possible to see them doing what they're doing.

2:38 And then I started thinking about my own life. I was like, what am I good at? Well, I personally feel I'm a good podcaster. Do I want as many possible people to hear this podcast and watch this video as I could possibly get? Fuck yeah, because I'm proud of what I'm able to do. I love to show off for you guys. I love to show you guys all the thinking that I've been doing, all the research I've been doing, all the self-work I've been doing, and I like to be funny.

3:04 I like to be compelling. I like to keep your interest, and I want to see if I can hold that interest until the very last second of the podcast episode. Whereas when I first started this, as well as anything else that I'm not good at, I don't want people to see it. I'm embarrassed of it. I'm not proud of it. So the differentiating factor between somebody who's really good at something and somebody who sucks, but not only that, those who have confidence in what they do, is they essentially want to show off.

3:31 And that's really ego-based. Ego-based is, I want people to see me. It's all about me. And that's a very fundamental psychological principle of human existence, which is what's in it for me. So anybody who performs at a high level has this desire to want to show off. So then, of course, as I always do, I started thinking about, well, how can I apply this to make my boys better with women? Because that's what I do, right? I'm a dating coach. And then I started thinking about how I am with women.

4:01 I love to show off in front of women. I absolutely do. I love them to see me in my conversation, see me winning in life, looking at my Instagram, listening to my podcast. Whatever it is, I want them to see my championhood because I'm proud of it. So when I go out at night, I have a different mindset than probably many of you who go out at night who are still struggling with women. My mindset is, watch this. Two simple words that I want to introduce to you for you to start bringing that into your lexicon, into your psychology.

4:33 Instead of going out and thinking what could go wrong, I always go out and I think, what can go right? What can I show these girls? How awesome am I going to be tonight? What's my performance going to be like? And how many girls are going to be lucky enough to see it? So the philosophy goes from what could go wrong? I don't want people to recognize all my faults to what could go right. I want people to see this shit. Watch this. And I want you guys to think about that from a psychological perspective where every time you do anything, I want you to try to get into that mindset of watch this.

5:08 Now, obviously, that begs the question, well, I don't want chicks to watch this because I'm not good at speaking to them. I don't know what to say. I'm not confident. I'm not happy about what I look. And of course, a lot of you guys are going through that and I understand that. To get there, obviously, necessitates working on yourself, working on your psychology. But if you just introduce that concept and warm up to it, you can begin to understand what differentiates a guy who's highly successful in anything, particularly women, between a guy who isn't successful.

5:39 The guy who's successful has a watch this mentality. I want to show off. I want people to see this. I want girls to watch me. I want to be excellent in front of them. And I want to be the fucking hero who's in the arena who everybody's clapping for. The guys who suck with women are, dude, I don't want to go out in that arena because I think I'm going to be laughed at. I think I'm going to be booed off stage. So from this first point, we understand that the difference between somebody who's highly successful and somebody who isn't is that they have a watch this, I want to show off mentality.

6:11 And when they go out onto the stage, quote unquote, they want to perform. They feel like they're performers. Now, of course, we don't want to be in clown mode with women. We don't want to care so much about what they think of us. But the greatest performance is that which you're not dependent on outcome. You just do your thing. You completely let go and you love the attention, but you don't care what they think of you. So when I go out into the nightclubs, I don't give a shit if I get numbers.

6:40 I don't care if girls are attracted to me. I'm just this butterfly who's going around and showing off my awesome colors. If you like it, fine. If you don't, that's fine, too. But the real important thing is I like it. And not only do I like it, I like showing it off. So that's the differentiating philosophy. And I want you guys to take this on board. How do I get myself to a point where I want to show off in front of these chicks? How do I get to the point where I'm actually excited to go talk to them to show them me?

7:08 And that's the second facet of this philosophy, which is I want girls catching me doing something excellent. And guys who are really good with women, they don't brag and show off, but they do set up things in a way where women can catch them in excellence. And that comes off in this show off effect that we're talking about today, which is when I'm dating a girl, I don't always tell her that I lived in Japan and I can speak Japanese. So instead, what I'll do is I might take her to a sushi restaurant on the third date.

7:39 Then the waiter comes over and then I start rifling Japanese to the waiter and she's fucking amazed. So what we want her to do is we want her to catch us in our excellence in a seemingly accidental way without us purposely bragging about it. If I went into the first conversation bragging about how I lived in Japan, I speak Japanese, I was a Japanese translator in Hawaii, and now I'm a really big podcast host with a big following and I'm a dating coach and I'm very successful.

8:08 Well, that looks try hard because you're essentially bragging to her. The better way to do it is to show off to her your excellent personality without giving a shit what she thinks, which means you're not bragging about anything. And then if she dates me, show her all the great things about me, but let them reveal themselves in their own time. And what I always like to say is the truth will always reveal itself, but I'm not going to lie to you. Kind of help it along a little bit, right?

8:35 You want her to find out things that are awesome about you seemingly accidentally, but you do want her to find them out. That's very, very important. So not only do we want to show off to her, but we also want her to catch us in our excellence. And all you guys have excellence. I know some of you listening right now are like, great, this is awesome theory, but I'm a piece of shit. I have nothing going for me. Why would a girl be attracted to me?

9:00 Which is exactly why I'm listening to you, Mark, seeing you idiot. Why are you telling me all this, how great you are and how you show off and girls catch you in excellence? I don't have excellence is possibly what some of you are thinking. I would argue with you on that point. And I would say, yes, brother, you do have excellence. You have had experiences that I've never had. You know things that I don't know. You're good at hobbies and sports that I know nothing about.

9:23 And you would kick my ass in them. You have shit that I don't have that she doesn't have. And you need to focus on them and show them off to her. I want you to go into the conversation thinking, I'm a fucking champion. I have lots of value to give. Whatever it may be, boys. Whether you're good at bad gammon, baseball, licking pussy, having sex, kissing, massages, taking her on dates, mountain biking, skydiving, chess, checkers, computer programming, fucking video games, I don't care what it is.

9:59 You have value to give into this world and also to this woman. So I want you to think about this is the awesome thing about me and I'm going to show it off. Because when you have that philosophy that you're the prize, you're the champion, you are a great catch for a woman, you're going to go into the conversation with that show off mentality and she's going to pick up on it knowing that this guy is a champion. This guy is next level. So those are the two facets that we've discussed so far.

10:26 First of all, when somebody who's great at something does it, he's showing off. Okay. So any sports athlete that you watch, think to yourself, oh yeah, this guy likes it that I'm watching him. He likes it that he's showing off. Every single dude on the soccer pitch, that's what he's thinking. Every single dude on the baseball diamond, that's what he's thinking. The football field, hockey, golf, whatever it is, they like the attention on them. The second facet is let her catch you in excellence. Whatever it is that is your strong suit, you need to build into your seduction, a circumstance, a situation where she catches you doing it.

11:02 This is very important. I want you guys to be humble where you're not trying to push it onto her, but don't be so humble that you're like hiding shit from her. Show her your excellence. Let her catch you doing something right. The third facet of this is what I call staging. And I think I did a podcast about this probably a couple of years ago. I have so much content. It literally takes a couple of years before I can even circle back to anything. Staging is where I will let the girl catch me in my natural habitat as it were, which is being charismatic with other girls, talking in an interesting way, talking with a voice that's loud and dominant before I even open her.

11:40 So, for example, if I'm in a checkout line at the supermarket and she's talking to the checkout lady, I might interject a little bit and talk to the checkout lady myself while my target is perhaps running her credit card so that my target can see that, oh, shit, there's an alpha behind me. A guy is very charismatic. He's joking with Karen, the checkout lady, and he's making her laugh. And that's what I call staging. Staging also comes into going into the nightclubs with really hot girls.

12:09 Staging comes into doing your hobby or your sport or whatever it is that you do while females are watching you. You're showing your excellence to them before you even talk to them, which is really important. So they see you in excellence. And this is what gets attraction from women. Women want a high value dude. I mean, you guys all know this. They want a guy who is socially above them. They want a guy who has more social value than them, who is more basically successful than they are, not necessarily monetarily, but successful in life.

12:42 He's liked by many people. He's had many successes. He has perseverance. He has shown that he can succeed in whatever hobby he does. He has certain resources and assets that he has access to that perhaps most people don't. He's charismatic. He's persuasive. He goes after his goals with the never quit fucking attitude. He's ambitious. He's passionate. All these things you need to show to the girl. And this too is why I talk about in storytelling, you want to embed those high value traits into your story and almost like feed them to her like you're hiding medicine into a dog biscuit and you feed it to the dog.

13:20 But you don't want to come off as you're obviously doing it. You want to have the effect of in your own mind, I want to show off to this chick, but I don't want her to know that I want to show off to her so much or that I'm trying to impress her. That's really fucking important. But that's the difference between a dude who is good with women and a dude who's not is the dude who's good with women. And not only that with sports, he wants to show off.

13:44 And it's something that only occurred to me recently where I was watching people in excellence and wondering how do they take that pressure? How do they perform under all those scrutinous eyes who are watching them? It's because they want to show off. They want all the eyes on them. So you think Tiger Woods when he's about to sink a putt is all bummed out because he's literally got 10, 15 million people watching him both on the golf course as well as on TV. No, he loves it. You think a dude like President Obama when he goes up to make one of his epic speeches is nervous?

14:16 Dude, he's like, bro, how many people do I have watching tonight? Oh, sir, we only have 60 million. He's like, really? I thought we were going to get like 90 million. Oh, well, 60 million is pretty good. All right, let's do this shit. Just like me right now, man. I love the fact that I have so many of you guys listening to me. I love the fact that I'm going to get emails from even more dudes who say that my content is good. Kind of pumps my ego a little bit, but I'm leveraging it.

14:40 But here's the thing, too, is I also show off for myself. And I think that's the fourth facet and perhaps the most important facet, which is you are performing for you and your entertainment, your approval, your loving yourself, and what you're doing is the most important thing. Then you get that all-important outcome independence, not giving a shit what people think about you. You become internally validated because, really, your own opinion is the only thing that matters to you. Right now, as I'm recording this podcast, I'm having a great time, and I'm pretty impressed with myself, and I'm kind of like showboating for myself, right?

15:18 Doing a couple laps around the track, letting myself admire my flecks of wings. I'm like, oh, those are some great colors on your wings, bro. Good job. And that's the philosophy I want you to have, too. So you're showboating, you're showing off, you're showing what an excellent dude you are, but it's mostly for you and also for her in the way that, here's me, if you like it, great. If you don't, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. And that goes back to my previous episode where I talk about the temp-y turnaround.

15:46 If she doesn't like you and you're showboating, she's a fucking sea bass, dude. She doesn't have a good filter. She doesn't understand what excellence is. But you understand what excellence is, and you're willing to go show that to people. If they accept it, fine. If they don't, your mentality is, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. So the show-off effect is, I want you guys to get to the point where you're so proud of not only yourself, but the content that you could speak about with women that you actually want to go show it off.

16:14 You want to go practice your art and show how much better you are at this shit than other dudes are. And you're like that peacock with the beautiful feathers who goes into the middle of the nightclub and just spreads his wings. And all these girls are like, damn, look at all the work he's done on himself. Now, obviously, that begs the question, how do I get there? You're doing it, man. You're listening to this podcast. I can almost guarantee you for 99.99% of you guys, you're going to listen to more than one episode.

16:41 You're going to get better at this shit. You are hopefully going to go out and practice it, rep it out, as I always urge you guys to do. And then you're going to get to a point where you're like, man, I'm better than most dudes at this. I know more than they do. I'm more confident in myself than they are. Let me get into that show-off philosophy where I'm going to go show these girls that I'm the number one fucking peacock in this entire goddamn nightclub, bar, gym, coffee shop, wherever you happen to be.

17:10 You're the number one dude. So go show girls that. And you get to that point by continuously repping it out. But also, and this is the entire point of this episode, having the mentality that, okay, I want to start showing off. I want to start having the philosophy that I'm the prize, I'm the hot chick, I'm the beautiful peacock in the nightclub. I want to go show every motherfucker this peacock because if I don't, it's almost an affront against them. And that's the way I think.

17:40 If I don't go talk to a girl, I almost feel like I'm taking something away from her. And me as a very good dude who wants to spread love throughout this entire world, I owe it to her to go show her a great time because I have so much content. I have so much confidence. I'm going to make her laugh so much. She's going to have the best time of her life because of me. And I'm going to go show off. I'm going to go show all the work I've done on myself.

18:03 And that's the seed I just want to plant inside your guys' heads. So not only is it when under high pressure situations, you need to understand that these people are showing off. They love the high pressure. It's not even high pressure to them because they just want eyeballs on them. But, and this is the most important part, you want your eyeballs on yourself. You're like the dude who video records himself dancing his little jig and then watches it back and cracks up at himself because he's so proud and he loves his performance.

18:30 I'm not going to lie to you guys. I love listening to my podcast. Do you know I listen to each episode probably about two or three times per each one? Well, I have to quality check it. That's my excuse. And I always tell Marissa that. I'm like, hey, I got to go downstairs to the basement and quality check my podcast. Meanwhile, I'm like rubbing my hands together. I'm like, oh, oh, I wonder how this one came out. And I'm listening to it and I'm laughing along with you guys.

18:53 I'm my own biggest fan. And that's the most important thing. And that's the way I want you guys to be about yourself. Love your work. Love yourself. Be proud of what you're producing and go show it off. Not only to women, but more importantly to yourself. When you get in that mindset, women will see the value in you. They'll get more attracted to you. And the show off method will have done its work. Gentlemen, I really appreciate you listening. I hope you got value out of this one.

19:20 I'd very much appreciate it if you were to go listen to more of my episodes because I'm going to be honest. I want to show off for you. I want to show you all the knowledge that I share, all the success that my guys are getting, all the good shit that I've created through, yes, showing off in front of women. And now I'm showing off in front of you guys. And I want you to take all that good stuff and go show it off as part of your repertoire.

19:43 We're showmen, boys. We're on stage. We're showing these girls what champions we are. And if they don't like it, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Why? Because we like it, don't we? We are fucking champions. We are the unapologetic man army. And we are giving so much value to this world that literally the world really does owe us a thank you letter due on our desk immediately at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning. Because that's the level, boys, that we are bringing into this society. So go bring it, gentlemen.

20:11 Go show off. You are a goddamn legend. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So please come back for the next one and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.