How to Dominate Your Beta Voice - Tonality & Attracting Women

0:00 Welcome to round five of the Monster Energy Supercross in Glendale, Arizona, featuring the bad boys of dirt bike racing, Ken Roxton, Cooper Webb, Adam Ciancirillo, Justin Barsha, Eli Tomac, and pro circuit Monster Energy Kawasaki racing efforts, Mark Sing. We're here to spit in your enemy's eye. You'll buy the whole seat, but you only need the edge, the edge, the edge. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen?

0:40 Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me, and I am about to give you a secret that is going to make your life 19.365411369 times more enjoyable. Do you know what that is? That's right, brother. It's fucking dirt bike racing, Supercross. I'm so into it, man. I absolutely love it. Have you ever watched this before, this Supercross dirt bike racing in stadiums? It is literally the most badass fucking thing you'll ever witness as a human being, and it has been proven scientifically to raise your testosterone by 39.6%.

1:20 Here's what you do. Go to Peacock.com. Okay, a lot of you guys already have this. They have it live on Saturday nights for the next several months. This coming Saturday in Glendale, Arizona, as my little intro talked about, they are having round five of the Monster Energy Supercross. I am going to be there on April 30th at the Denver Stadium. If you watch that race and you hear the loudest motherfucker in there, that's going to be me. I'm going to be fucking yelling my head off, and that actually works into what we're going to talk about today.

1:49 Tonality and how to dominate your bitch voice, although I didn't want to say bitch in the title because I couldn't figure out whether or not I would be punished if I used curse words in title. So I just went with wuss voice or something like that. So today's podcast, we're going to talk about that. But listen to me, man. I am watching the race every Saturday night. Well, actually, I go out a lot with my girlfriends on Saturday night, so I record it, but I do watch it on Sundays.

2:13 It is my all-time favorite sport, and I'll tell you this. There is no sport more physically demanding than Supercross. No sport, and that has been proven over and over again, not even soccer, not even marathon running, no sport whatsoever is more demanding physically than Supercross as well as mentally. These guys are modern-day gladiators, the strongest mental game you'll ever see, and I'm so into it because I love to watch the drama unfold between these dudes fucking ripping their motorcycles, just doing whips over triples. It's the sickest thing, man.

2:42 Once you see one start and you see those dudes barrel through the corner and then hit that first triple, you're done, man. You're going to be, just like I am, a fan for fucking life. So check it out. I strongly suggest it. It will raise your testosterone and your happiness level, and it will make you a millionaire, and it will make all your dreams come true if you just watch this shit. It is so fucking badass. All right, another announcement to make. This coming Thursday is my birthday, February 3rd, 1977.

3:10 Mark Singh emerges and is ready to take on the world. So I'm doing a podcast that I want to do. I'm going to talk about Wilderness Survival, Wilderness Survival 101. As a lot of you guys know, I live in Colorado, the most epic state to live in if you like going into the wilderness. And I have a lot of really, really, really cool things to share with you guys, things you've never thought of before, facts that you probably don't know that'll completely blow your mind. So even if you're totally not into wilderness stuff, if you consider a hike, the journey to and from your mailbox, that's okay.

3:43 That's okay. I'm not expecting you to get out there with me, but you have to listen to this, okay? Support me for my birthday, man. Come on. What are you doing out there? Bitching and complaining, complaining and fussing, fussing and griping, griping and moaning. Sick of hearing it, man. Support your boy and come back on Thursday for my birthday, February 3rd. I'm doing Wilderness Survival 101. It's going to be super fucking interesting. And I'm doing it because that's what I want to talk about. It's what I'm really into.

4:06 I talk about girls all the time. And believe me, it's the number one thing I like speaking about. But this day, I get to party it up and talk about exactly what I want to. And that's wilderness survival. The five C's of survival. You're going to learn that, man. And you're going to learn how to survive in the wilderness. If you're ever out on a hike or banging a girl on a log and she doesn't like the way you put it to her, so she gets lost and then you get lost and you're going to survive and she isn't because you have this podcast that you listen to.

4:33 It's going to completely change your life. Just like this podcast is about tonality. So I talked about this a little bit before in my frame control episode where tonality, along with body language, along with frame, I always say things are like the most important thing, right? Well, tonality is literally the most important thing, kind of. The way you speak to a woman will dictate whether or not she gets attracted to you. And it's based on tone, the way you carry yourself, the way your voice reflects and inflects and the pitch of it and the way it communicates to her your value as a man.

5:07 To go back to my previous podcast about frame control, I said, I think four times, that a woman cannot get attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. Well, frame is often communicated in tonality. It's sub-communicated, meaning oftentimes you can't control it. It's just your own value in your own head is communicated through your tone. So I have a naturally high voice, right? And there's not a lot I can do about it. But a lot of girls still get attracted to me, even though people think a deeper voice is better.

5:39 It's not necessarily that. It's the pitch or the tone of which I speak to them. Now, I always tell my clients this, and for you guys out there who have a vagina in their pants and you like to get hyper-extended in the vagina, or for God's sakes, you women out there, man, I get some crazy fucking women that write me sometimes, boys. They're like, stalker Texas ranger. I block them, and then they make new accounts and attack me. This is really going to piss in their rivers, okay?

6:03 This is going to go up to their river, throw their leg up on a log, and launch a freaking 50-foot rope of diarrhea all down the river. It's going to piss them off so bad. But if they just listened, if they just really contemplated what I'm saying, it may not piss them off. But people have filters, and they're going to hear exactly what they want to hear. So get fired up, ladies. You're about to get pissed. And some of you boys, too. You have to speak to girls like they're a 12-year-old girl on your soccer team, and your tonality has to have a downward inflection.

6:31 Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't get all pissed off. Close the email application. Don't send me fucking hate mail just yet, okay? Let me explain myself. Give me a chance here. When I say you want to speak to a girl like she's a 12-year-old girl on your soccer team, and you're the coach, it's not to be condescending. I'm not saying women are less than us. All I'm saying is they want to be led, and attraction is based off the fact that you can lead them to where they want to be led.

6:57 They want to be tucked under your wing, just like your best friend in high school, who was a few years older. He had a cool car. He would listen to cool music. You guys would go cruise on the city. You were absorbed into his frame, and because of that, it felt good. That is the exact same experience we have to give to women. And if your friend who had the cool car, and you're in the car with him, and you're listening to music, if he talked to you like this, like, how are you doing today, Jimmy?

7:22 Do you want to go to McDonald's? Right? If he talked to you like that, he wouldn't be that dude who you look up to. And you're like, man, this guy gets more ass than a toilet seat. This guy is a bonafide girl magnet. I want to be this dude. Okay? He wouldn't have that in your eyes. It's the same thing with girls. If you supplicate to them by having the wrong tonality, which I'm going to explain exactly what that is in a second, they will not get attracted to you.

7:48 The way we correct our tonality is by speaking to them like, yes, they are a 12-year-old girl on our soccer team. We're the coach. And we're like, hey, Kelly, good job on that goal. Why don't you gather up the other girls? We're going to run some laps. Go get them right now. All right? You see in my voice that I'm in command. I'm controlling the frame. And what's happening is my voice is going down at the end. I talked about this in the frame control podcast as well, that when you're controlling the frame, your voice naturally goes down at the end.

8:17 It's a downward inflection. Okay? It's not an upward inflection like that. Do you want to go to the movies? Or do you want to go to the movies? So, hey, can I have your number? So, hey, can I get your number? Okay? See how it goes down slightly at the end. All that communicates is authority. And I often compare it to a police officer. He doesn't say, license and registration, please. He says, license and registration, please. Now, can you tell just right there between those two tonalities how different the subcommunication is, the communication underneath the communication?

8:50 When it goes down at the end, it communicates authority, confidence. I know what I'm doing. Come on, little girl. I'm going to tuck you under my wing. You're safe. You can let go, get into your feminine energy. I'm not saying you're less than me. I'm not saying you're stupider than me. I'm not saying that I'm more capable than you are. What I'm saying is you can let go and trust in my masculinity and let me show you a good time. Believe me, women have many amazing things about them.

9:17 The capacity for love, for relationships, their geniuses when it comes to social interactions, their ability to be creative, to care for people, to be intuitive. This is all female energy. But in a male to female interaction, the only way she's going to get attracted to you is if you lead her. And I don't care how many angry emails I get. That's the way it fucking works because that's the way we're designed and that's the way it's always going to work. So stop trying to turn dudes into chicks and chicks into dudes.

9:44 Why the fuck are they doing that? I have no idea. Women can be women and still have just as much value as men. I want to say it again because it's such a radical statement in today's day and age. Women can be women, move highly into their feminine, and still be 100% completely equal and in some ways even superior to men. And men can be men and be completely equal to women and in some ways be even superior to women. Like having to choke out a fucking meth addict that breaks into our house.

10:13 If that ever happens, I'm going to be like, sit down, little girl. I got this shit. But when someone in the family is having a really hard time and needs a shoulder to cry on, the female shoulder is better than my shoulder. It's just superior based on the task that it's trying to achieve. So going back to tonality, yes, the man has to be the fucking authority. You will never convince me otherwise. So now that we have that in place, let's talk about how you can exercise that authority.

10:38 Okay, first of all, as I said, I want you to talk to women like they are that 13-year-old girl on your soccer team. You are not to be condescending, but instead you're leading them and making them feel comfortable in your masculine energy. Furthermore, as I mentioned, it doesn't matter if you, like me, have a slightly and naturally high voice. What matters, again, is the tonality. So you can have a super high voice. And I've seen guys with super high voices pull girls like no tomorrow because of that tone, because of the inflection.

11:09 So always focus on that because you guys may think that your voice is going down at the end and I'll test my clients on this. I'll say, hey, talk to me like you're asking me for my phone number. And they'll be like, hey, so can I get your number? And that's a really, really, really bad thing when I hear it. And one disadvantage about being Australian, I know I have some Australian listeners, is they kind of do that naturally in their language. They're like, Rod, I'm from Perth.

11:33 And it kind of goes up at the end. I know that's kind of an intonation in your language, but you want to be very careful because it makes you come off as supplicatory, putting the pussy on the pedestal, as I often say in reference to that movie, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Okay, so we have that premise. Now, if you, like me, have a very high voice, there's an exercise you can do to deepen your voice a couple octaves. I used to do it all the time, but I've since given it up because I frankly don't feel it's necessary.

12:02 Through the majority of my experience, it really didn't change much. The thing that changed the most for me was that intonation trick of going down at the end. But if you want to try this, it will actually make your voice a little bit deeper, and that is to yawn with your mouth closed. And what you're doing essentially is you are stretching out your vocal cords. So if you kind of go to the middle of your throat, kind of where your Adam's apple is, if you were to close your mouth and kind of open that area up, like you're stretching it out, making the circle wider, the circle in your throat, your larynx, I think it's called, or your voice box, what you want to do is you stretch that for 10 to 20 seconds, then your voice will actually drop down a couple octaves and allow you to come off with more authority than you would if you didn't do it.

12:47 Now, once again, I feel with experience, talking to girls in a way where you're leading them and you're taking them under your wing, as I always talk about, it kind of happens naturally. And I know in this podcast, I almost never get the, hey, Mark, your voice is so soothing and so nice. Trip Gramer gets that all the time. I've seen his reviews and it's always like, I could just listen to your voice all day. And it's like Mark saying, don't really dig his voice, but I like his comedy and I like his information, which is why you guys listen to me.

13:13 But that's good news because now, you know, if I can do it, you could do it too. And I have a pretty shit voice. And if this voice can do it, your voice will be fine too. Another thing about alpha males is this. When you're listening to a crowd from a far distance away, the guy who you can hear the most from far away is usually the alpha male. Naturally, throughout tribal communities, throughout evolution, throughout anthropological development, the person with the loudest voice, or I should say the most piercing voice that can be heard through a crowd is usually the leader.

13:47 Okay. This person is used to being listened to, which is a point I want to get to in a second. He's used to being heard. He's not afraid to let his voice go. Remember in the body language podcast, I said that good body language is essentially vulnerable body language. What is vulnerability? It's letting yourself go, speaking as loud as you want to, not giving a shit what people think, not caring if people hear you, and not apologizing for what you have to say or what you are.

14:15 Now, certainly there's a way to be too obnoxious with this. And a lot of guys get this wrong. You can think about like the frat football guy who's drunk and he's screaming and fucking making a ruckus. That's not what I'm talking about. It's a very calm, confident projection of your voice that comes from the chest. It doesn't come from the throat. So you can kind of speak from the throat, which is what I'm doing now. And hey, how's it going, guys? Like really good to see you.

14:40 Or you could take a deep breath and really project from your chest. Now you see the difference there. When I'm talking to chicks in clubs, what I don't want to do is ever have her say what? Okay. I'm always projecting like, hey, how's your night going tonight? Right. And literally it has to be that loud sometimes just to get fucking through the goddamn music that's playing on the speaker. By the way, quick side note, I always wear earplugs in the nightclubs. It literally makes no difference.

15:06 So if you don't have earplugs in and you're standing next to a speaker talking, she's going to have to yell just as loud to get over that music. Then if you're like me and you rock earplugs and she's speaking at the exact same volume, you will hear it the exact same volume and you're going to save your hearing. So I wear earplugs. There's no shame in it. And if they question me, I'm going to be like, yeah, I don't want to be deaf five years from now when I'm 89 years old.

15:29 That's why I do it. So no apologies. You own it. And you say, I got some extra ones if you want them. May want to save your ears, little girl, because you're going to need them down the road. And she'll be like, no, I'm fine. Stupid, man. I mean, how many times have you as well as me been to a nightclub and you walk out and your fucking ears are ringing? That is really bad for your ears. So rock earplugs. But if she says what, if she's like, what'd you say?

15:53 And you're kind of like meek and you're kind of like, hey, how's it going? So, um, uh, what are you doing tonight? And you're like that guy, dude, you're not going to get any attraction. Project your voice. Don't be afraid of being heard. Speak to her again. Like she's that 12 year old girl, take her under your wing and be totally unapologetic about who you are and what you say. I don't give a shit if people hear me. In fact, when I'm out and about, I really don't give a shit if people hear me.

16:18 I mean, obviously I'm a podcast host. I like to be listened to. I like it when people eavesdrop on me. I feel like they're getting some free podcast material out of it and I make no apologies for it. So when I'm in restaurants, when I'm in coffee shops, when I'm in bars, when I'm anywhere where it's loud, I'm the loudest dude. So of course, don't take this out of context. If you're in a coffee shop, you don't want to be like, so, hey, what are you drinking there?

16:41 You fucking dingbat. What is that? It looks good. What is that there? Huh? Come on now. Come on. What is it? And she's like, oh my God, stop talking to me. So obviously boys, you want to be calibrated. You want to use your strong voice depending on the context, but here's the lesson. Okay. First of all, and most importantly, if you just take one thing from this, always downward inflection, always downward inflection, always downward inflection. And you'd be amazed at what happens when guys talk to hot girls.

17:08 You may not have known this, but when you're talking to a very attractive girl, there's a chemical that's released in your body that gets you really excited. This is why when you see guys of low value talking to super hot girls, they get a big shit eating grin on their face. It's like all their Christmases have come in one day and they're so fucking stoked to be talking to her. What does that communicate? It communicates this dude is not used to talking to hot girls. Now guys like me, as well as you who have been desensitized by hot girls, don't get so excited because as I said, an adrenaline dump is put into your body as well as I'm not exactly sure what the chemical is, but I would guess it's something like dopamine, oxytocin, or serotonin is released and the guys get really happy.

17:53 When guys get really happy, naturally, especially if they feel that she's higher value than they are, their voice will go up at the end. Happens all the time, every day of the week and twice on Sunday. So really watch yourself. I'm talking the next time you open a girl, you got to fucking be hyper-focused on this because your voice will go up at the end without you even knowing it. And here's the funny thing for the vast majority of you. I hear this from my clients all the time.

18:19 They'll be like, dude, I was talking to a girl, my voice went up at the end and I immediately started thinking of Mark Singh and I was like, fuck, I totally let my coach down. And guys, don't worry about it. It happens to all of us. Once you recognize it a few times, you won't let it happen again. Okay, second tip is to project from the chest. Don't speak from your throat. When speaking to a woman, especially in nightclubs and bars, be careful for what I call pecking, which is getting super close to her in order to talk to her.

18:47 Ideally speaking, your voice will be able to penetrate through the one to two feet distance between your mouth and her ear. I don't like to see guys what we call pecking, which once again is getting really close to her ear in order to talk to her because oftentimes it shows like too much interest and too much excitement. Although on a side note, I will do it purposely once she is a little bit attracted. So this is kind of advanced stuff. But once I get a little bit of attraction, I'll get in there purposely because I know she's attracted and I'll whisper in her ear a little bit because I know it's turning her on.

19:19 But for the vast majority of you guys, I want you to practice projecting your voice, not being stifled, not being apologetic. And one great way to do this is to take public speaking courses and or do as I talked about in the adrenaline dump episode about approach anxiety, which is to purposely put yourself under social pressure. One of the best things you can do is go into an environment and just yell. Well, I actually had a meeting with a client today who signed up for my three month coaching program.

19:46 His name is Wayne. What is up, Wayne? He told me he's listened to over 200 or 300 of my episodes. Fucking champion. He said, he's like, man, I was in the supermarket today and in California, you have to bring your own bags. Otherwise, they're going to charge you like 20 cents per plastic bag, right? So he's like, fuck it. I got to do it for my coach, Mark Singh. I'm going for it. And he hadn't even signed up yet. We haven't even met. He just wanted to do this so that when we did meet, he's like, look how committed I am.

20:12 So he yells as loud as he can. He's like, everybody, I remember my bags today. Who are you or something like that, right? And everybody started clapping. It really went well for him. Well, doing that kind of thing lets your voice go, lets you be comfortable because again, the alpha male is used to being listened to. I want to say that again because it's so important. The alpha male is used to being listened to. He doesn't rush what he says. He doesn't whisper because he's afraid of being heard.

20:39 He doesn't supplicate to people. He's the fucking boss, right? He's like Jordan Belfort in front of all his salesmen being like, fuck yeah, guys, we're going to make $60 million in one goddamn day. Do you guys remember that? The Wolf of Wall Street. That's a fucking alpha. He takes charge, not afraid of being heard. And when he talks to a woman, he projects that. And women see the status in that where this guy is used to being listened to. And this includes, and I just mentioned it, not rushing your opening line.

21:07 Be very calm. You're used to being listened to. I'll even take impregnated pauses as I'm speaking to let her know I'm used to being listened to. I can take the social pressure of you waiting for me and not afraid of what you think. And I'm going to talk to you with that downward inflection. And you're going to hear me no matter what situation happens. And other people are going to hear me too. And I'm going to say what the fuck I think unapologetically. Super attractive to women.

21:32 All right, boys. So you got some homework. First of all, you got to go out and talk to girls and really watch out for that upward inflection. Also, real quick, I didn't mention this. Laughing after what you say, like you want to go to the movies, get rid of that shit. I call it disclaimer laugh. Kill that shit immediately, bro. Launch that shit out of a fucking catapult, out of the city, never to be heard from again. Okay, so practice your intonation. Make sure it goes down at the end.

21:59 Don't be afraid of being heard by other people. Put impregnated pauses in there. Sure, you're used to being listened to and challenge yourself. I suggest Toastmasters giving speeches, talking in front of people, interrupting people, asking for discounts, putting yourself under embarrassing situations, singing in the middle of food courts, doing as Wayne did today and yelling randomly in a supermarket as I've done many times. This gets your voice dialed in and your voice is going to dictate a gigantic part of her attraction for you, including your body language.

22:30 And what's the most important thing of all, bro? That's right. Frame control. If you haven't listened to my frame control episode, hop over there right now. I think it was three episodes ago, two episodes ago, something like that. Check that out and remember, boys, Monster Energy Supercross. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Those guys are goddamn gladiators. And if I can contribute to 0.001% of the growth of the sport, then I'm going to do it because it deserves all of our eyes on it. It's absolutely phenomenal.

22:59 Peacock.com and you overseas listeners can watch it too. Monster Energy Supercross, baby, round five coming up Saturday in Glendale, Arizona. Also, do me the kindness. Be a true bro-teen shake, a true bro-tator cuff, a true bro-tendo, and listen to my podcast on Thursday about Wilderness Survival 101, the five C's of survival, boys. It just might save your life. When you're out there without a watch, lost, and you have no idea how much more sunlight you have, you're going to remember the tip that I taught you.

23:31 You're going to remember how I taught you to stay warm, the way to find your way out of the wilderness. If you have no compass, no map, no nothing, I'm going to teach you all that, bro. And it's a man skill. Being able to survive in the wilderness is a goddamn man skill. Just listening to this episode will not only increase your happiness by 19%, your testosterone by 40%, but it's going to increase your man card, your masculinity by 233%. So I will see you on Thursday, brother. Thank you for listening to this one, and I will see you in the next episode.

24:00 So-da! Thank you for listening to this one, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.