How to Flirt Like a Pro: The "Play Fight" Flirting Technique

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to yet another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast, and I got a good one for you today, gentlemen, how to flirt like a pro. Obviously, flirting is one of the most important things we can do when trying to get a woman attracted to us. So we're going to talk about, first of all, the concept of flirting and why it's so important and why a lot of guys miss it and they can't get into that flirting dynamic.

0:42 And then some techniques to use to actually flirt with women, including what I call the play fighting technique, which is exactly as it sounds. You're basically play fighting with her, having that combative kind of energy, which when you really lay down to think about it, is the essence of flirting. So I got a lot of really good stuff for you guys. Stay tuned until the end because I got some of my best stuff coming at the tail end of this podcast episode, and I hope you really enjoy it.

1:09 Before I jump into the content, gentlemen, I want you guys to come back on Thursday because I'm doing something I've never done before in this podcast. I'm actually going to put a coaching call from my three-month coaching program of me coaching the boys. We had a really good session last Thursday, and I was like, you know what? Let's go ahead and slap that up there because you guys can learn a lot about how to attract women, how to maintain frame, lots of if-then situations. And it was a good example of the progress that my guys are getting, the kinds of lessons that we go over, the kinds of struggles that guys go through who are just like you, who come into the program.

1:41 And you get to kind of see where they were in the beginning and where they've gotten to. And it's just a really good call. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to put about, I don't know, maybe 45 to 50 minutes of that coaching session. It's going to be free coaching for you. You can check it out, kind of peek behind the curtain of what it is that we do, the kind of results that we get in this program. And that's going to be on Thursday.

2:06 So if you want to support me, if you want to kind of check out what it is that we're able to do in this three-month coaching program that I always talk about, this is your chance to eavesdrop, peek behind the curtain, see what we do. And that's going to happen once again on Thursday. The title is going to be Free Seduction Training, How to Attract Girls Coaching Session. So even if you're listening to this, maybe a couple of months down the road, check out that episode because I guarantee you, you are going to learn a shit ton.

2:31 We just go after technique after technique, strategy after strategy, if-then situations, things that you probably never thought of before that other guys are struggling with that you're like, oh shit, that makes sense. And then I'm right there answering all their questions. It's a really good example of what we do. So check that out. All right, gentlemen, so flirting. So what is flirting? Flirting is being playful. We have to understand that women are attracted to playfulness, sense of humor, frame. They want to have a good time.

3:03 If you think about attraction logically, you think that, okay, I have to get her to like me. I have to get her to want me. But if you think about it illogically, that means from the emotional perspective, you begin to understand that it's all about having fun and it's all about getting emotions going. So when we look at emotions, emotions are often related to childhood types of experiences. So I want you to think how you were with girls back in like second grade. What did you talk to them about?

3:33 What kind of vibe was there between you and girls when you guys were having fun? Let's say you're out on the schoolyard doing jump rope, playing dodgeball, playing handball, whatever it is. It's always that playfulness, isn't it? And the people who you like the best were the most playful. The ones that had fun, they laughed, they giggled, they teased each other, and they even play thought with each other in a joking way to get those emotions going. Women, including men, always want to be in a better emotional state.

3:59 But with women specifically, emotions elicit attraction. And the way we elicit emotions in women is by doing several different things. And in this episode, we're going to talk about the flirting strategy of play fighting. Now, flirting will oftentimes have this kind of combative vibe behind it. If you think about flirting, it's not always you guys are being agreeable, but oftentimes you're being disagreeable. And I want you to think about that. I want you to think about the times when you were flirting with a girl in the past where you guys were kind of teasing each other, telling each other you're better than the other one, competing with one another, play fighting, making up hypothetical stories, doing things where, again, you're like kids on the schoolyard.

4:44 So I want you to get out of the whole logical like, I have to present to her my resume. This is how much money I make. This is how I live my life. These are the adventures I've been on. I've traveled here and there. And this is why I would be a good father to your children. That shit doesn't fucking matter until later. What matters in the beginning is having fun. And that's why I always say time and time again, the most important thing about attracting women is frame control.

5:10 And of course, if you don't know what frame control is, I literally just released an episode on it a couple of weeks ago, the 10 iron pillars of frame control. Definitely listen to that. But the second most important thing, and it's a close second, is having fun, eliciting emotions, making her laugh, play fighting, flirting. Flirting in its essence is tension, tension between the masculine and the feminine. If we look at masculinity, it's the opposite of femininity. And the further you can get opposite of her, the more tension there is between you two.

5:38 Now, tension is not only created energetically, and energetically is really important, but that's not the essence of this episode. This episode is about creating it with language, creating it with talking, creating it with that dynamic. So when we're flirting with a girl, we want to create some tension. And play fighting gentlemen is one of the best ways to do it. Creating a confrontational, I'm going to kick your butt, you're not as good as me, oh, you're trying to copy me, you're trying to follow me, you're trying to stalk me, earn my rapport, trying to get in with me, or trying to do whatever.

6:15 That's the kind of vibe we want to get because that gets attraction. One of the most playful lines that I do, that I talk about all the time on this podcast is, do you like to travel? And she says yes. And I push her and I say travel over there. Now, obviously, I push her gently. I have a smile on my face. I'm not being an asshole. But what it communicates is, I'm playing with you. I'm fucking with you. I'm busting your chops. So teasing a girl, play fighting with her, making her get off her inner balance point and her doing the same thing back to you, that is flirting.

6:48 Flirting is not all forward movement, meaning you're sexy, I want to like kiss you, I want to get you, you're so hot. And that's what a lot of guys think flirting is. They think like hitting on a girl is just stating intention. What I prefer to do as far as flirting is breaking rapport. And this is why breaking rapport is so fucking effective is because it gets you into that combative energy, which is tension. And that's flirting. So when we look at speaking to women, we have to again, get out of all that logical shit, go for the emotional channels.

7:15 And that's done through creating tension, creating play fights. All right, so let's get into some of the tactics. What I like to do very early on in the situation is to create, like I talked about, the play fight, but also talk about how she's kind of brutal and mean and she likes to take revenge on people. This is really, really important. So say, for example, she works at the DMV. What I might say to her to create a flirting kind of vibe, which again is that tension is, you know what, I think I heard about you.

7:46 I was at the DMV the other day. And yeah, I think I know about your reputation. You're the one who photoshops moles and zits on everybody's face when they take the picture, aren't you? Now, when you first hear that, you're like, dude, that's so stupid. But guys, you have to remember, and I know a lot of you guys can relate, especially those of you who are good with women. When you're talking to a woman and flirting, that kind of childish shit, that kind of flirting dynamic works because again, we're getting her back into her emotions.

8:16 Emotions go back to childhood type flirting and to silly things that may seem immature to those of you who are very logical. But for those of you who have been in set many times like I have and have seen how girls react to that kind of banter, that flirting, that tension, you understand that that works. So again, going back to my point is when you hear what she does for a living, maybe you hear a story about how she got to the nightclub, which I'll talk about in a second.

8:43 Maybe you'll hear a story about her friends or anything like that. What I like to do is try to kind of spin it in a way where her and I are kind of fighting or she's like taking revenge on other people. And she's like essentially an evil person. And this is something fun that not only can we do to women, but women will oftentimes do that to me. And I like it because then we can banter, we can flirt, we can tease, we can bust each other's chops.

9:07 So the other night I was talking to a girl and I was like, where are your friends at? Because usually I see her there with all her friends. And she's like, oh, they're coming later. And I was like, you know, the way you said that kind of makes me think that you murdered them all, took all their money and came into this nightclub alone. Is that true? And she's like, oh yeah, totally. I just murder everybody. And I was like, okay, so if you and I hung out and we had good chemistry, I'd last for a little while.

9:29 But the second I pissed you off, I'd just be found dead at the bottom of a river, wouldn't I? And she's like, you wouldn't even be found. I'd just completely get rid of you because that's the way I roll. And then I said, yeah, I heard about you. I read your file. I know you're pretty psychotic, but here's the thing. I'm kind of psychotic too. And when you get two psychotic people working together, some fucked up shit can happen. And she's like, yeah, we would go rob banks and we would be like Bonnie and Clyde.

9:55 And I'd be like, yeah. And then you'd like fall in love with me and like start stalking me. And I'm just, I'm a psychopath, you know, kind of like you, but I'm beyond you way more psycho. So I'd be pushing you away. And then I get murdered anyway. So we definitely can't be friends. And you guys see where I took something that she did innocuous, where she came alone and her friends are coming later. I accused her of being like psycho, wanting to get one over on her friends, even murdering her friends.

10:17 Now again, in a playful way. And then that created a role-playing scenario where her and I are going back and forth. And what's created there, what's created is tension. When you create tension, you create attraction. So play fighting with her, even in the way where sometimes I'll open up girls and I'll be like, what's up punk? And oftentimes it'll open really good because she's like, what's up? And I'll be like, you're trying to fight me or what? And she'll be like, yeah, you think you got what it takes?

10:43 And we'll immediately be role-playing and flirting in that I'm going to kick your butt. No, you're going to kick my butt kind of dynamic. And this works really well. Another thing I like to do is to break rapport when it comes to commonalities. And this is a huge thing that most guys get wrong, where if you find out that she likes a similar sport that you like, you guys went to the same college, you guys like the same baseball team, you guys are from the same state or even the same city.

11:07 Most guys will get really excited and be like, oh, you're from that city too. So am I high five. Now, does that create any tension? No, it creates a commonality. And again, going back to logical thinking, you think creating commonalities is the strategy, but what you want to do is you want to break rapport, create that tension. That's what flirting is. So if we have a commonality, say, for example, she's like me and she's from Newport Beach, California. That's where I grew up. Right now I live in Colorado.

11:35 A lot of guys ask me where I'm from. I live next to Denver because Colorado is way better than California is. There's a lot of traffic, smog, and I kind of feel like people are haters out there, especially compared to Colorado. Although I will say people treat you how you expect them to treat you and people treat you how you treat them. So when I was in a lower state of consciousness, I lived in California and that's why everybody was an asshole because I was an asshole.

11:57 Now I live in Colorado. I feel like I'm at a higher level of consciousness and I'm a cool person. So people are cool to me. You get reflected back to you what you are. But anyway, I live in Colorado and let's say she too was born in Newport Beach. What I would do is I would use that as the reason we wouldn't get along instead of being like, Oh my God, you live in Newport Beach. Like, where'd you grow up? What street you grew up on?

12:23 Oh, remember 56th street? It was such good waves. And I would go down there. And my dad actually grew up right on the beach right there. You know, that elementary school, my dad actually went to that elementary school. Isn't that crazy? Oh, high five. That kind of works. But what's much better is to break rapport. So I'd be like, Oh my God, you're from California too. And she'd be like, yeah, why? I'd be like, God, we are such assholes from California. So if you and I ever hung out, immediate fight.

12:49 Like if we went to dinner, it would be an immediate food fight. You'd be spraying ketchup and mustard in my hair. I'd be slinging pickles like ninja stars off my hand, like, and you'd have to walk home with the pickle hanging off your eyebrow. Completely embarrassing. We can never get along because we're both from California. As I smile and maybe I wink at her. And oftentimes what they'll do is they'll banter back in that play fight kind of way. And you guys can make up role-playing situations.

13:16 Now we're flirting. Now we're getting into that sexual tension and we can even take it sexual. So oftentimes when I break rapport with the woman, such as we have something in common and I say, that's the reason we'd never get along. So say for example, she's really into yoga. I'll be like, Oh shit, I'm into yoga too. And if we ever went to do yoga together, obviously I'd be so much better than you. We'd be doing salutation to the sun and you get peanut butter and jealous and hit me in the head with the yoga brick and my nose would whistle and we just can't be friends because I'd be so much better.

13:49 And again, guys, it's teasing, flirting. You're smiling. This is in a situation where you guys are bantering and she's laughing. I know it sounds childish, but you have to get out of the logical kind of thinking and get into, okay, as I'm flirting with this girl, this is what we say. Then she laughs and she says, yeah, I'm definitely known to hit people in the head with yoga bricks. We can never be friends. And I'll be like, yeah, but one of the good things about fighting is afterwards you get to makeup.

14:14 And oftentimes she'll say like makeup sex. You'd be like, yeah, you know, like after you fight, you guys are really heated at each other, but there's kind of like that attraction there. Like honestly, right now, as I'm looking at you, I'm kind of hating you. You're kind of my enemy. We are definitely frenemies, but as I'm looking at you, I don't know, it's kind of some attraction there. I just kind of want to kind of reach up behind your hair like this. And then maybe I'll like pull her hair a little bit and I'll be like, yeah, this is way too intense.

14:41 And then like, I'll push her away. And then maybe I'll grab her belt loop and be like, come back here. Where are you going? So you see that flirty kind of tension, the push pull, the, I want you, but I can't have you because we'll fight. That's the kind of vibe you guys want to get into. So play fighting, either telling her that she beats up on other people. She at her job tries to screw over other people. You read her file and it's a mile long.

15:03 You've heard about her through her reputation is really good. Like, yeah, your friends were telling me about you. Do they really call you Hurricane Ashley? Is that really your nickname? Because that tells me a lot about you. All I need to know is that they call you Hurricane Ashley. And she's like, no, they don't. I'm like, yeah, they do. Everywhere you go into, you just tear it up. How about that bar you burned down last week? That was pretty fucked up. I know it was you.

15:32 They can't find the suspect, but I'll keep your secret hidden. Meanwhile, she's kind of getting fired up and she's throwing shit back at you. What is being elicited here? Emotions and emotions equal attraction. So it's not just good emotions, boys. And this is the mentality that I need to get a lot of you guys out of is I need to compliment her, make her feel good, give her what she wants, do all these things to placate to her only in like that positive way of blowing smoke up her ass and putting her on a pedestal.

15:59 Instead, if you fuck with them, if you tease them, that's flirting. It's that tension. And most guys don't do that enough. So when a guy comes up to me and he asks me, how do I flirt with the girl? If I had just two words to tell him is I would say, play fight, play fighting. How can I get into a play fight with her? How can I accuse her of being a bad person, a moral person who I wouldn't want to hang out with because it would just explode.

16:24 And when I do explain that it explodes and she's buying into it, then I can go into sexual tension. Because what I always say is, you know what happens when two people fight, right? Afterwards, they get to makeup. And then I let her say, you mean like makeup, sex, and now I'm going into sexual tension, which is like the highest level of flirting. So when you first go in, gentlemen, I want you to think, how can I get into a play fight? How can I tease her?

16:50 How can I bust her chops in a playful way? Never with an asshole vibe behind it, because this can blow up in your face, but always a playful way. That's why when I say, do you like to travel? And she's like, yes. And I push her and I say, travel over there. I push her lightly. I push her by the shoulder and I have a smile on my face. And then if she's like, oh my God, I can't believe you just did that. Now we're getting some tension going.

17:09 Does it blow up in my face sometimes? Yes. But I'll tell you what, 80% of the time, it fucking explodes in tons of attraction. So it's how you do it. But always try to think like, what can I accuse her of? What kind of situation can I make where her and I are play fighting? What kind of situation can I make where she's stalking me? Which is something huge I always do, where I always accuse them of being in my backyard with a sniper rifle and a ghillie suit.

17:36 And then I always say, as some of you have heard, please put the ladder back in my garage. All the other girls leave it resting on the house and it drives me nuts. I know you guys have your little sniper nests out there. Like all of you are in a neighborhood of girls hanging out together. But you particularly, I feel like you're the most dangerous one. You're the one I have to fear. Just put the goddamn ladder back in the garage, Hurricane Ashley. I'm sick of it.

18:00 And going back to Hurricane Ashley, that's another thing I often do is I give them nicknames. I'll nickname them Dumb Dumb in a playful way. I'll nickname them Itty Bitty, Tiny Tatanka, Pocket Size Satan, right? Like all these things to just kind of fuck with them just a little bit. That's flirting, boys. So I hope this has helped you. Always go in thinking, how can I play fight? How can I get that tension going? How can we then role play? And how can I turn that into sexual tension?

18:26 Play fighting, breaking rapport, messing with them, busting their chops. That's how you flirt like a pro. Gentlemen, I hope you've appreciated this. I want to tell you on Thursday, I'm putting on that coaching call as a reminder. It's a recording of me coaching the boys. You get to hear many if-then situations. You get to hear about their successes and some of the things they're struggling with. And I really think for a lot of you, you're going to be like, dude, these guys are just like me, man.

18:51 If they can do it, I can do it. We had a guy and we actually talk about him in the coaching. He didn't show up to the call because he's 63, hadn't gotten laid in decades. And he emailed me. He's like, Mark, I'm getting laid tonight. It's been decades. I can't come to the coaching call because she is going to fuck my brains out. And I'm like, brother, get after it, dude. Have fun. I want you to come so hard. She literally shoots in the air off your dick because it's been so long since you get laid.

19:17 We're real guys just like you. Our guys have struggles just like you do. But when they commit and when they move forward with the coaching, they all get success. And you get to hear about that. And I think you're going to hear a lot of stuff that you've probably never thought of before. So check back in, gentlemen. Thursday, the title is going to be Free Seduction Training, How to Attract Girls Coaching Session. Check that out. I really appreciate you guys listening. I hope this episode as well as all my others has helped you.

19:44 I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. Thank you.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.