What it REALLY Means to be an ALPHA MALE

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, we are going to talk about what it really means to be an alpha male. You know, that word alpha male goes through a lot of people's vernacular, and oftentimes it's used incorrectly, and it's used to explain things that aren't necessarily true. So we're going to talk a little bit about the history of why that word was created in the first place, and then we're going to go into what it really means to be an alpha male and how you can bring this into your life in order to be more confident, more successful, and of course, attract more women.

0:52 Gentlemen, before we jump into the content, I want to give a shout out to all you champions who have left me reviews on either Spotify or iTunes or anywhere else that you can listen to my podcast on. I super appreciate it. If you leave me a review, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com, and I will send you three awesome programs, The Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. I'll smack you on the ass. I'll get your name tattooed right here on my neck, and there will be a life-size statue of you in my backyard with late champion chiseled in the granite beneath your feet because you're a goddamn fucking legend.

1:25 And I really appreciate all you champions that have left such reviews. Keep it coming, boys. That's the way it grows. That's the way I get more listeners. If you want to help me out, tell friends about it. Tell coworkers about it. Tell associates about it. Tell people who are struggling with girls about it. Leave reviews. Spread it. Drop links wherever you can. And if you want to help me, if you feel like I've helped you and you're like, I don't really want to work with a dude, but I want to help him, dude, spread the word of this podcast.

1:50 That helps me so much I can't even explain to you. If one of you guys went into like a group where they're talking about masculinity or getting girls, and you're like, hey, guys, I found this awesome podcast called The Unapologetic Man Podcast. Check it out. Dude, you have no idea how much that could help me. I could get clients out of that. I could get business opportunities out of it. I could become a guest on other people's podcasts. So when you spread the word and really put effort into doing so, that helps me tremendously.

2:17 The whole reason I got onto the How to Talk to Girls podcast with Tripp Kramer about two and a half years ago was because some champion mentioned me to him. And then he searched me down, invited me onto his podcast. And just by going onto his show, my downloads doubled. Now my show is about equal to his. I don't know exactly what his podcast downloads are, but him and I talk and we're about equal because a listener was willing to help me. So if you're willing to do that for me, I'll get your name tattooed right on my butt cheek.

2:44 Let's go ahead and jump into the content. All right, gentlemen. So alpha male, where did this originally come from? It actually came from a scientist who studied chimpanzees. He was studying chimpanzees and he naturally named that chimpanzee that ascended to the top position as the alpha. Alpha, beta, gamma. And that came out of it because alpha means first. So in chimpanzee clans or troops or whatever the hell they're called, the male chimpanzee who leads the entire troop is, of course, called the alpha male. Now, naturally speaking, that chimpanzee has a much higher testosterone than the other chimpanzees because, A, he has to fight a lot.

3:24 He has to make tough decisions. He has to be stronger. Therefore, when you have more testosterone, you're building more muscle. He has to have sex with all the girls. He's basically in a position where he's the leader and he's constantly on stage. He's constantly in demand. So oftentimes we think when you ascend to be the leader, you don't have to work as hard. You just delegate everything out. Everybody else does the dirty work. But in fact, being the leader is the hardest job. And the good leader is the one who leads from behind.

3:53 So he coined this term alpha male. And then obviously people, mostly in the dating community, but also in the masculinity, self-development community, really took it and said, okay, this is what attractive leader champion guy is. He's an alpha male. But when the original author of this book heard about this, he's kind of like, ah, it's not really how I meant it. I mean, it kind of makes sense, but it's not exactly how I meant it. But guys like me still use that because I feel it's a good representation of what it takes to become attractive to women.

4:25 Now, there's one single attribute that separates all alpha males out there, both in the chimpanzee community, as well as in the human community, from everybody else. That trait, and this is what this entire episode is about, is about protecting and caring for those around you. When you look at the chimpanzee community, the alpha male is the most caring. He's the most attentive. He's the most cognizant of everybody else's joy, as well as suffering. He's the first one to arrive when, say, for example, a baby chimpanzee gets hurt, gets stepped on by a beta male, and then the alpha male comes over there and shoves them away.

5:04 He's always cognizant of taking care of those around him. Now, when it comes to humans, it's the same thing. When a guy is a true alpha male, he's concerned about others almost before himself. A leader leads from behind, meaning he puts other people first. He's cognizant of their suffering. He's cognizant of their joy. He's cognizant of what each person is trying to achieve, and he always explains the why to the entire group so that they understand what the purpose is of the clan in order to achieve their goals.

5:35 But he doesn't put himself first. He, in fact, puts himself second. A true leader is the guy who, when a wall needs to be built, he goes and picks up the first rock and sets it down, gets the second rock, sets it down, and starts building the wall himself until everybody else follows him. This is a story from the Spartans. This is a story from the Spartans. King Leonidas, you may have heard of him from the movie 300 and other sources, where they had to build a wall in order to close off the bottleneck that they were going to put the Persians into.

6:03 When it was time to build the wall, King Leonidas went over and grabbed the first rock, the second rock, the third rock, and then the other leaders were like, look at what your lord is doing. Go follow him and do what he's doing. He leads from the front, but no job is beneath him. When looking at human alpha males, they're the exact same way as a chimpanzee alpha male. The true alpha male is a guy who puts others first. He's concerned about others. He loves those who follow him, and he wants them to have success.

6:31 Now, the interesting thing is when a chimpanzee ascends to the alpha position, it's usually done in some kind of ceremony where the current alpha male will start to lose some of his power. There will be clans where certain chimpanzees will get behind a new alpha male, and there will be a fight, and then when the new alpha male wins that fight, he ascends to be the leader of the entire chimpanzee clan. And guess how much his testosterone goes up when that happens? It goes up by 300%.

7:03 300% testosterone boost. Brother, that's like doing steroids, straight up. He needs it because he needs to build muscle. He needs to have tenacity. He needs to be on his A-game because others are going to be challenging him, but not only that, he's now the leader. He has to care for everybody. He has to make sure that everybody is okay. Now let's spread this out and apply it to your life. Are you the protector of those around you? Do you care about those around you? Are you even willing to spread your care and love for your family and your friends out to society as a whole?

7:36 Are you the kind of guy who says, fuck society, I don't care what happens, I hope everybody kills themselves, and it would be best if I had an F-16 on call that when traffic happens, I can just do a strafing run and blow up all these cars so that I can get to where I need to get to. People who have hatred towards others are in a very low state of consciousness, and they are not naturally the alpha male. They may think they're the alpha male, but the true alpha male cares about others, puts love and compassion as his forefront virtues, and wants to take care of others.

8:08 He also knows that taking care of himself means he can better take care of others. Let me ask you a question, brother. Could you, right now, run a mile? Could you run a mile? And if so, how long would it take you? Can you bench press your weight? How many pull-ups can you do? Are you able to defend yourself if somebody were to get in a fight with you? If you were to run into a random dude who's the same weight and same height as you, do you think you could beat him in a fight because you've trained?

8:35 Do you feel that you understand money, you understand taxes, you understand how to manage those things, and you could take care of a family? Do you think that you're going to be a good father, that you're going to teach your kids good virtues, or do you think that the demons inside yourself are going to creep out and leech onto those children, thus giving them the same issues? Now, obviously, I'm holding you to a very high standard, but as we talk about becoming an alpha male, these are the standards we need to compare ourselves to.

9:02 Now, even for me, I haven't achieved all these standards to perfection, but I'm constantly striving to do so. The thing I like about life is that perfection isn't achievable, right? It's an unrealistic goal, but that's what's cool about it, is I could keep trying to get there. So what I often do is I split my life up into physical fitness, diet, financials, the ability to defend myself, the ability to be charismatic, persuasive, and different avenues like that, that are the marks of an alpha male. For example, an alpha male obviously has a strong frame.

9:34 Going back to my previous episode, if you haven't listened to that, I cannot stress it enough. The 10 iron pillars of frame control, you got to fucking listen to that. An alpha male has that shit down, but he also has self-control, and he's disciplined not only for himself, but to protect his tribe. Do you know that in jail, in prison, and this isn't an admirable quality, but it's a good example. In prison, you see those guys doing all the burpees and the push-ups and just going crazy trying to get in shape.

10:03 Do you think they're trying to get in shape because they want to be ripped and look good for the other dudes? Fuck no. The reason they stay in shape is because oftentimes they're gang members, and they could go to war at any single second. And oftentimes in gangs, and this is one admirable thing about them, yes, even in the depravity of gangs, there's something admirable. It's, I will take one for the team. I got my fucking gangs back before myself. It's just like in the SEALs and any other special forces unit, Delta Force, Green Berets, Navy SEALs, anything like that, Marine Force Recon.

10:35 They always put the team first. So when they get back from a mission, first they stow the team's gear, then they stow their own gear, then they make sure that they are okay. But the team is always first. And this is what creates a successful community. So me, as a dating coach, I have my brothers who are on the coaching program. Those guys are first. And I constantly tell myself that. I need to put my blood, sweat, and tears into every single fucking dude and make sure that he gets the success because his success is my success.

11:05 And this goes into the overall spiritual truth, which is what you do for another, you actually do for yourself. What you do for yourself, selfishly, is going to be taken from you. So let's look at the alpha male chimpanzee. When he goes with the selfless attitude, he keeps his power because the other people in the tribe can sense that he puts us first. What kind of leader doesn't put his community first? I know a lot of you guys are probably thinking of presidents we've had in the past, and I'm not going to mention anybody specific.

11:36 But who are the ones where they're in it for America? And who are the ones where they're kind of in it for themselves? Look at your company. Look at your business. Is the leader of that business in it for the business, in it for you? Or is he in it for himself? Back in my early 20s, I used to work at 24 Hour Fitness. I used to sell memberships. And I remember we went to this big event where the CEO gave a speech. And the first thing he said is, every single one of you is disposable, which means I'll get rid of you in a heartbeat and find somebody else.

12:06 That kind of philosophy, in my opinion, is the mark of a weak leader because it doesn't make the people feel like they're valued. Also, if you have that philosophy that people are disposable, they're just pawns to be used and used up and thrown out to get a new one, you're inevitably going to have failure in your business. Whereas when you have the philosophy of extreme ownership, which Jocko talks about, if you've ever heard of Jocko, fucking champion, ex-Navy SEAL, you own everything. What does that mean when you own everything?

12:35 It means that you take everything on, all the responsibility, because you're an alpha male. You want to see an alpha male? Go watch the Jocko podcast. That's a motherfucking alpha male. So here's how this is going to benefit you. When you make the conscious choice to become the alpha male by saying to yourself, I am going to serve, I am going to protect, and I'm going to treat others as if they are myself, your testosterone is going to go up. Your natural tendencies to be alpha, such as mannerisms, body language, and tonality are going to be dialed in perfectly to telegraph those types of attributes, which will make women more attracted to you, which will make you ascend naturally to any position you want to get to.

13:14 It's all about the other. So instead of thinking what's in it for me, here's the secret of life. What's in it for everybody else? Let me ask you a question. Yes, you, the listener. Do you legit want world peace? Do you want everybody to get along and be safe? What's your opinion about the war going on in Ukraine and between Israel and Hamas? Have you taken a side? Or have you taken the side of humanity saying like, why the fuck do we have to do this to one another?

13:40 I understand there's a lot of drama going on and everybody has their opinion, but I feel until we get to the point where we are in it for everybody else, and I will actually have a lower standard of living voluntarily in order to help other people, I think that we're stuck in a state of consciousness that is not evolved. We're stuck in that beta male consciousness when it's always what's in it for me, fuck everybody else, I'm going to screw that guy over and try to take from him.

14:05 It doesn't work, as we constantly find out, because the universal law of attraction states that which you put out there comes back to you. So if you try to take from somebody, it's going to come back to you and you're going to get taken from. But when you give to somebody, when you try to protect somebody and serve, as I do in this very podcast, but more importantly, my three-month coaching program, that comes back to you. That comes back to you in waves. Boys, I cannot even explain to you.

14:32 When people come into my coaching program, I try to give, give, give, just as I give to you on this podcast. And what do I do? I get so much from these guys. Not only do I get love and presence and amazing comments, but I get to change these dudes' lives. So let's look at you once again. Are you in the mentality of taking or are you in the mentality of giving? Because I'm going to tell you this. The giver is the alpha. Every single day and twice on Sunday.

14:57 The giver is the one who ascends to the top position. He wants to protect. He wants to serve. Your whole purpose here, brother, is to serve. And once we get this figured out as humanity, that we are all in this together and we are there to serve each other, everything changes. And yes, I believe world peace is possible. Once we get out of the egoic, take, take, take, let's kill each other because this is our land or let me take your land because Ukraine belongs to Russia just by some sort of religious right or whatever his reasoning is.

15:29 Once we get out of that mentality, we ascend to the next level. Those who have that mentality automatically ascend to the alpha position. And yes, your testosterone is going to go up. I don't know if it's going to go up by 300% like you're some chimpanzee, but I'll tell you, you'll build more muscle. You'll lose fat. You'll be more confident. Your body language will improve. Your tonality will improve because you have chosen to be an alpha. Not by saying I'm better than everybody else, but by saying I will serve everybody else.

15:58 You are the protector, brother. So compare yourself to those high standards. Are you fit enough to fight for your daughter's safety? Are you smart enough to sit down and do the numbers so you can lead your family into success monetarily? Are you strong enough to stand up to people who are going to bully you and bully your family and protect everybody around you, including your friends, including your family, including even a stranger? Would you, if you saw a stranger freezing on the side of the road, pull over and give him your jacket?

16:27 These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself because the true essence of an alpha male is, once again, he who serves. There's this picture I absolutely love. It's my all-time favorite painting. And it shows a bunch of people with really long spoons where they're holding the end of the spoon, and the spoon's like three feet long, and at the end is the little part of the spoon where you can scoop the food into. And there's a huge soup in the middle, and each person takes their spoon and gets some soup, but because the spoon is so long, they can't fit it into their own mouths.

16:59 So they're all starving and skinny, and they're on the verge of death because they're constantly trying to feed themselves. When finally, somebody figures out, oh, we can feed this to each other. And then they start feeding each other. They start to get their health back. They start to be vibrant, and you understand the universal law. What you do for another, you do for yourself. And that, boys, is being a true alpha. So from today forward, let's ask ourselves, what's in it for that guy? Instead of saying, what's in it for me?

17:29 Say, what's in it for him or her or they or the world as a whole? Because once we get into this mentality of all being alpha males and females, the entire world will change. And yes, I believe this is the way to world peace. Now, I know some of you guys listening are not even close to that level of consciousness, and I'm certainly not saying I'm above you. Because I, too, struggle to get there. I'm also not saying that if Hamas attacked me and killed my kids, that I would just be like, oh, let's just love each other.

17:58 I forgive you. I probably wouldn't. I'd probably be the ramble motherfucker that went in there with a saw gun and killed every motherfucker I could, just being honest with you. And also, if I was a Palestinian getting bombed and my innocent child dies, I'd fuck shit up. But I think the level that we're all trying to get to as alpha males is that level of consciousness. What you do for another, you do for yourself, that's the only path to world peace. And that's the only path to you becoming that alpha male that I know you want to be.

18:26 Girls are going to get more attracted to you. You're going to make more money. And, brother, your life is going to get so much better when you get into the serve mentality. That's why we're all here. So instead of asking, how can I take, ask, how can I serve? That's the better question. And that is the question of the alpha male. Gentlemen, I do appreciate your listening. I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. And like I said, maybe share this with a friend.

18:50 Drop a comment on some forum you're at. Maybe leave a review. Leave a link somewhere. Just like try to help me out, bro, because I'm trying to grow the shit. I want more people to hear this positive message that, yeah, we're trying to get better with women, but you don't have to be a douchebag doing so. When you believe in yourself, when you become an alpha male, and when you serve, we are bettering the world as a whole. And I believe that that is the point of this podcast, to better the world.

19:15 So help me spread the message. I appreciate you listening, gentlemen, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.