How to Get Girls 101: What I'd Teach My Teenage Nephew

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me today. And in this one, we are going to talk about how to attract girls 101, meaning a 10,000-foot perspective of the most basic, basic fundamental rules that are necessary when it comes to attracting women. The reason I'm recording this is because I was at a family function today, and my nephew just kind of went through puberty, right?

0:41 He just went through puberty. His voice just dropped, which is a trip to see because the kid changed. It's weird when somebody goes through puberty. I forgot about it. I haven't seen someone do it in a while. It's like, whoa, he's a man now. That was crazy. One day, he's a kid. The next day, he's a man. And they were joking. They were like, well, now that you know you're in middle school and you're starting to get attracted to girls, you have to hit up your Uncle Mark to get some information.

1:10 And I was thinking to myself, I could just see him coming up to me and being like, okay, Mark, I'm ready. How do I get girls? What are the six magic words I say to get girls? And I was kind of daydreaming in my head, thinking about what would I tell this kid? Well, the first thing I'd say, and this is what I'd like to say to you guys, is it's not like just six magic words where the girl jumps in the air and slides onto your dick, obviously.

1:29 It's more like scoring a goal in an ice hockey game. It's like, Mark, how do I score a goal in an ice hockey game? I've never skated before. Don't know how to use a stick. Don't even know what a puck is. What is the crease? Don't even know what that is. You need to learn the fundamentals. First, you need to learn to skate. Then you need to learn to skate backwards. Then you need to learn stick handling skills. You know, all these different rules that apply to that game in order to succeed at it.

1:49 And it's the same thing with getting women. Getting women is a skill set. Now, what I want to do in this podcast is break down what I feel is five or six of the most fundamental 10,000 foot perspective attributes or experiences that you need to bring to girls in order to get them attracted to you. And this is for those young bucks out there, those guys who are just starting. But at the same time, you guys who are really advanced, which frankly is probably the majority of you would benefit from hearing this as well, because this is really, you know, fundamental stuff.

2:26 And in order to be good at anything, you have to be good at the fundamentals. You have to understand them to a very deep level. So that's we're going to do today. Wanted to ask again, if you do find value in this podcast, would very much appreciate it. If you laced me up with the review, just go to iTunes or any of the other podcast apps that you happen to be listening to this on. In iTunes specifically, you have to scroll to the very bottom. They make it an absolute David Hasselhoff to do it.

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3:54 And I won't even take on a client unless I know that I can help him. I just signed up a guy yesterday named David. What is up, David? And through the whole call, I spent an hour and 15 minutes with him. I was like asking him really deep questions because I want to know, can I really help you out? Can I really do this? Because several coaches that he hired in the past weren't able to help him out. And in the beginning of the call, I was like, you know what?

4:20 I don't think I can help him. I know he's eager to start. I know he wants to pay me, but I'm not going to take him because I don't think I can help him. But as I spoke to him more, I found the entrance into his subconscious mind. And I was like, oh, okay, if I hit it from this angle, I can definitely help him. So we signed him up and I'm very confident we're going to get him the results that no other coach could. So if you want to get on that free breakthrough session with me, just go to my website, sign up, click on coaching, fill in the application, slap in the biscuit.

4:48 And you and I will get on the phone together. And once again, if you find value in this podcast, the best way you can help me is with a review. All right, boys, without further ado, let's jump right into the content. All right. So what is the very first thing? If I had to just tell somebody one thing, especially a kid, like I'm talking seventh, eighth grade, maybe even younger than that, or maybe in high school, if I had just one thing to tell him, what would that be?

5:10 Man, this would be hard. Okay. Obviously I'd want to say confidence, but you know what? I actually wouldn't say that. I would say, brother, just be fun, be fun with her, show her a good time, be the best time she's ever had focus on showing her a fun time. Now this alone will not get you girls, but I'd say it's probably the most important thing. And even with us guys who are really advanced, sometimes we forget about this. We get deep in the weeds on other concepts, building attraction, sexual tension, all these other things that we forget, bro.

5:45 They just want to have fun. And the best way to show a girl a good time is to let go and stop focusing so much on all the strategies, all the tactics, all the techniques, just have a good time. Just let it go. You know, sometimes when we get all dressed up, our hair looks perfect. We have the perfect outfit on. We get really like tight and tense because we kind of want to like show off how good we look. We want to show off our muscles.

6:10 We don't want our hair to get messed up, but the best thing you can do is like, let that all go. Just have a good time. The age old idiom, girls just want to have fun really does apply here. So if I had just one thing to tell them, I really want to talk about confidence and frame control, but you know, being super confident almost is thwarted by being fun. Like if you have a really confident kid and you have a really fun kid, man, it's, it's hard to determine which kid the girl would go for.

6:37 But oftentimes I think to the fun guy would just weed out the confident guy just barely. Now, if you can combine them, and this is my second point. And there's the second thing I'd tell the kid, be confident. If you can be confident and fun at the same time, it's over. Okay. These are, in my opinion, the two most attractive things you can be to a girl. So what my clients always tell me when I'm in field talking to women, they're like, dude, they laughed the whole time.

7:04 Like literally these chicks are just cracking up the whole time. And that's a big reason I get such good success with girls is because I know how to be funny. And what am I doing? I'm showing them fun. I'm showing them a good time. I'm raising their state because remember to get a little bit more complex, this is more of a 10 foot perspective rather than 10,000 foot perspective. But remember, women are always seeking state outside themselves. They always want to be in a better state than the state they're in right now.

7:31 So if you're cracking her up, making her a laugh, showing her the best time ever, she's having fun. Therefore, she's in a better state. And from that attraction comes. So you look at kids like in middle school, right? They're just messing around. They're playing dodgeball and volleyball and tag and whatever the hell those kids do these days. And the kid who's the funnest, the boy who's the funnest usually is the one who the girls get the crush on. But also, and this is point number three, the kid who doesn't care about outcome.

8:04 The big problem, and you guys know this just as well as I do, when you're attracted to a girl, you suddenly go into stiff mode, screensaver mode, being uncomfortable, moving weird, nerd mannerisms, saying stupid shit. It's because you care too much. So while this advice is counterintuitive, it's really important. You want to be fun, you want to be confident, and you don't want to care what happens. Okay, so if I was talking to my nephew, and I'm actually doing this podcast just for him, I'm going to show it to him on the day that he asks me, Uncle Mark, can you please tell me the six words to get little Jessica to get into me so I can get her phone number?

8:38 And be like, no, it's not just six words. It's a whole change in your perspective. But this is what I want to tell you little buddy, is that you have to make yourself not care if Jessica likes you or not. You have to almost in your own mind, manipulate yourself more than you'll ever manipulate the girl. This is called inner game. Inner game means that you're gaming yourself more than you're gaming the women that you're trying to get attracted to you. So the first thing I do when I really like a girl is I say, you know what, doesn't matter what happens.

9:13 And in a weird way, and once again, this is more advanced advice, I convince myself why she wouldn't be good for me. She has a weird laugh. She has bad breath sometimes. Maybe she's got a little bit of a muffin top. She's got a weird ingrown toenail. When she farts, it's like a sonic boom. She likes the band Red Hot Chili Peppers. She voted yes on proposition no. When she laughs really hard, she sounds like a canyon mule. She says some shit sometimes that's so stupid.

9:41 When I introduce her to my parents, I want to tell her she has to pretend she's a mute and she can't talk. Okay. So basically I convinced myself why she wouldn't be attractive. And I basically nix her in my own mind and I friend zone her in a way. And this goes back to a previous podcast that I talked about where I said, you know, one of the best things you can do to get a girl is to friend zone her. And a big reason we do that is so we don't care.

10:01 And again, game is all about gaming yourself and not giving a shit what happens. Literally when you have a crush on a girl, you need to get rid of that dependent need for the outcome to end up in a certain way. Because the second you start being needy and trying to pull a girl into an outcome, you are essentially chasing her away. So what I want you to do is chase away your own desire to have her in any way whatsoever. You can even convince yourself, look, I'm not going to get her.

10:31 It doesn't matter. We're not really right for each other anyway. So who gives a shit? Okay. So now you're fun. You're confident. You don't give a shit what happens. My fourth point is to lead her L E A D lead her. Okay. So what that means is basically you are the leader of the situation. What I tell my cousin is you need to lead women to where they want to be led. Okay. A perfect example of this is this. If you guys are talking in a group, right, you're in middle school and they all talk about, they're going to go see, I don't know, the new Batman movie.

11:05 You could be like, you know what? That seems like a good idea, guys. I know the Batman movie is playing at the Woodbridge cinema. So let's do this. What are you guys all doing Friday night? Oh, we're doing this, this and that. Okay, cool. Meet me there at 530. Let's go get some candy first. And then we'll all head over to the cinema together and go watch that movie. Sound good? Now she's part of that group that you're leading. Then she's going to get attracted to you because you're the leader.

11:27 As a general principle, women are attracted to the leader of men. Women are attracted to the leader of the tribe. Women are attracted to the guy who's leading the group. Women are attracted to who is essentially the silverback of the tribe. And you want to be that guy. So even while you're on a date with her, let's say you guys do plan to go get some Taco Bell or go get some ice cream or whatever, you want to kind of lead the interaction, open the door for her, decide and offer to her what time to get there.

11:55 Maybe suggest that you guys eat outside rather than inside, like under a tree or at a picnic table, which might be better. So basically you're leading her into a good experience. Now this also goes back into having fun. You're leading her into a fun experience. So if you're going to go on a date with her, you're going to take her to Taco Bell and then you guys are going to go to the arcade and then you're going to go like bowling. But you're the one who's leading it.

12:19 And you're offering that to her like, Hey, I know this really cool bowling alley. Let's go there. But first let's jump over the arcade. Sound good. She'll be like, yeah, sounds good. Okay, come on. And then you like grab her hand and you guys like run across the street and you're laughing and having fun. You guys are playing video games and you're having a great time with her, but you see you're leading her through that whole situation. It's extremely important. An example of this, something not to do is turn to her and say, what do you want to do now?

12:46 Or what would make you the happiest? Just decide. You decide. That kills attraction immediately. What gains attraction is when you take her to what's going to make her happy. She almost just wants to be like my daughter is. My daughter just wants to be entertained all the time. She's one and a half years old. So what she expects from us, her parents is to entertain her. And if she's not into what she's doing now, we have to come up with something else to entertain her and show her a good time.

13:13 Otherwise she's going to get pissed off. This is an extreme example, but it's good for some of you beginners to think of it this way, where it's your job to come up with the next thing. And most importantly, and this goes to my next point, you don't second guess yourself. So you are decisive. This goes into point number three, be confident. So if you decide that you guys are going to go to the bowling alley, you're really confident about it. Now, of course, and this goes down deeper into female psychology.

13:40 If she's like, no, I hate bowling. You know, my dad always forces me to bowl. I hate bowling. Then what you can do is again, lead her to where she wants to be led. You could be like, okay, how do you feel about paddle boats? And she'll be like, yeah, I love that. Okay, come on, let's do that. See how that works. So you're leading her to where she wants to be led. And if she doesn't want to do what you suggested, then you can suggest something else and lead her to that one.

14:03 But you're always confident in what you decide. Don't second guess yourself. Don't ever ask her. I mean, this is pickup 101. Don't ever ask her, are you having a good time? Don't ever ask her, do you like me? Don't ever ask her, what is your type? I should do like pickup 101 don'ts. That would be a really good one. But those three top of the list. Do you like me? Am I your type? Are you having a good time? Do you have a boyfriend? Right? All this kind of stuff.

14:26 And we did that. Like I did that when I was in eighth grade. And I wish somebody did this podcast for me when I was that age, because those are huge mistakes, huge mistakes. Kids make them all the time. And God bless them. They don't know any better. But Uncle Mark Singh is going to take you to success. All right. My final point, which I've talked about as well recently, is to make yourself want less than what she wants. This goes into don't care, which was the second point.

14:52 But here's the rule that I want to give you young bucks out there who are just getting started. Give her 80% of what she wants from you. Okay. That's a basic rule. If she wants to hang out with you, let's say you guys are like in a group of friends, which is usually how it happens, right? When you're a young kid, you guys are all hanging out as a group and she's a member of the group and you want her to get attracted to you. You want to give her 80% of what she wants of you.

15:17 And that includes 80% attention, texting her back 80% of what she's texting you. And then if you guys do start dating, let's say for you guys who are a little bit older, you may start dating. Always give the woman 80% because here's the basic principle. Said this many times. The person who wants less is the one who is in power. You young bucks, listen closely. This is female psychology 101. The person who wants less is the one who's in power. And you, my brother, my young brother, my young nephew have to be the one in power.

15:47 So what does that mean? That's right. You have to want less than she does. Okay. How do you know how much she wants? You can tell. You can tell how much she's texting you, how much she wants to hang out. And if she isn't giving you much, then you can't give her much back. But when you are with her, you're like really fun. And this is the way to do it. And this is what I do, what I call touches. If I see a girl like a barista at a coffee shop or the girl who does my dry cleaning or anybody else who I do multiple touches on, I always leave it on a high note.

16:19 I always make her laugh and then walk away. Right when she wants more, I'll walk away. So if you're doing what I call a campaign on this girl who's in your group of friends, you want to do a touch, make her laugh. Remember back to fun, be confident, and then take it away. Now she's going to start to want more to which you give her 80% of what she wants from you. This is the way to develop attraction. So boys, while there is no six word phrase to make a girl jump into the air and slide onto your penis, there definitely is five to six core tenants that you need to get down the 10,000 foot perspective of how to get girls to like you, which are the following as a recap.

17:00 Number one, be fun. Okay. Probably the most important thing next to number two, which is be confident. Number three is don't care. Number four is to lead her. Number five is don't second guess yourself, which also means be decisive, lead her to where she wants to be led. And then number six is to make yourself want less than she does. So those were six fundamentals to get a girl attracted to you. Certainly there's a lot more where that comes from, but I kind of look at it like the structure of a building.

17:31 That right there is basically the skeleton. There's other things, of course. I mean, geez, I've done 230 podcasts on it and I probably got 500 more where that came from, if not even more than that. But that's kind of like the most basic thing that I would tell my nephew. And when he asks me, which I know is going to happen, he's going to see a cute girl and be like, Oh man, I got to talk to my uncle Mark. This whole embarrassment I had to ask uncle Mark how to get girls.

17:52 I'm over that. I just got to ask him. And he's going to expect a one word answer, right? Well, what you want to do, little buddy is print out a bunch of a hundred dollar bills here. I'll lend them to you and just count them in front of her. And then she'll like you. This is the way, you know, juvenile minds think, but just like ice hockey, just like soccer, just like football, anything else that's complicated, anything where we get mastery. It's always more complex than that.

18:15 You got to master some fundamentals. And these, in my opinion, are some of the most important fundamentals. Certainly there's more. So if you're like, I can't believe you didn't talk about frame control. I can't believe you didn't talk about qualifying or whatever other tactic you're thinking of. Yeah, they're included too, but I just came up with these off the top of my head. And this is what I first teach my nephew. So there you go, little buddy. I hope that helps you for the rest of you guys.

18:39 If you do find value in my podcast, I very much appreciate a review. And if you want to get a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, where I tell you exactly how long I think it would take you to achieve your goals with women, as well as do a little coaching with you on that first call, you can sign up for that at coachmarksingh.com. Click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit. I will send you my schedule and you and I are going to get on Zoom together.

19:04 So it's basically a call where we can see each other. We chat. I take a half an hour, but sometimes it goes as long as an hour. I etch out an hour of time for each guy. And by the end of it, if you're a good fit for the three-month coaching program, and if I'm a good fit for you, then we can talk about moving forward with that. All right, guys, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So stay tuned for the next one.

19:28 And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.