How to Get Good With Girls Without Breaking a Bunch of Hearts Yo

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate this. I want to let you know I have a few openings in my three-month coaching program, so if you'd like to kick off your 2023 with an absolute abundance of women, go ahead and sign up. Go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com, click on coaching, fill in the haystool, slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together.

0:39 I want to go ahead and read a quick testimonial for that program. This is from my boy, Steve R. What is up, Steve? Testimonial. Let me add my voice to the many recommendations for Mark's program. The skills you'll learn will be valuable, but even more so, it's the man you'll become. I've gone through the audio courses and attended live seminars from NLP masters Richard Bandler and Anthony Robbins. It's Mark's NLP exercises that have proven to be the most valuable to me. Guys, I really want you to consider Richard Bandler, first of all, created NLP.

1:12 Anthony Robbins, he's talking about Tony Robbins, who I'm sure you've heard of, and he said that my NLP was the most valuable to him. God bless America, Steve. That is some kind of insane compliment. Thank you, man. From the bottom of my heart, dude, thank you so much. He continues, there's a significant difference in the way I find myself carrying myself and breathing physiology. I now have more women in my life than I even have time for. Do yourself a big favor and sign up today, Steve R.

1:40 Steve, thank you so much for that. I do appreciate it again, especially about the NLP. An NLP, gentlemen, is a way to reprogram belief systems, traumas, archetypes, schemas, and metaprograms that you were given before you could defend yourself, usually in the first seven to 11 years of your life. So what NLP does is it's a guided meditation. You can actually check it out. I believe it was my last podcast, Ho'opono Ono, is a slight NLP example of how it works. Obviously, when we work together, I give you my creme de la creme stuff to reprogram your brain, to make you feel confident and extremely attractive around women such as Steve is.

2:17 So Steve, I really appreciate that, especially the part about Richard Bandler and Anthony Robbins. That one hit home, man. It got past the goalie, got me in the feels a little bit. So gentlemen, today we are going to talk about how to game girls without breaking a bunch of hearts. And I like this question. I really do. It shows you have compassion. It shows you don't want to just be a heartbreaker, tear the hearts out of women, throw them on the ground, stomp on them, pee on them, and then invite a sumo wrestler to come over and take a steaming hot shit on it.

2:46 That's just not your style. You're a moral dude. You don't want to leave a bunch of tears in your wake. You are a fucking champion. Now, what I'm going to do in this episode is explain to you my philosophy about dating lots of women, because God knows I've taken a couple laps around the track. I have definitely dated probably thousands of women. And my philosophy that I created years ago about how this all works really helped me to deal morally with the situation. So yes, there is a way you can date lots and lots of women without being a douche canoe, leading them on, lying to them, breaking hearts.

3:19 Although inevitably, you are going to break some hearts, and I'll get into that in a second. But there's certainly a way to do this morally. And I want to teach you my philosophy, okay? So first and foremost, we have to understand that we are playing with fire. You're playing with fire, she's playing with fire, and occasionally people get burned. And this is why I teach my clients to kind of hold themselves back a little bit. Don't let their hearts go so quickly as it were, before she's really into it.

3:45 So she's the barometer that shows you how much you should kind of let yourself go. And I never ask a girl to be my girlfriend. I never tell her I'm in love with her until she does it first. Many reasons for that. And it's not malicious. It's not because of fear. But if you tell a chick you love her first, or if you ask her to be your girlfriend before she's ready to be, it's going to look bad. So that's why I always say that women are the barometer for your escalation.

4:13 So the first thing we have to understand is that we are playing with fire. And if you're a moral guy, such as I am, I'm going to teach you ways to kind of show women that, you know, this is dangerous and slow yourself down. Let's not get sprung too quickly. And then lead them into an experience that when you leave them, they will be better for it. Okay, so the first point again is, this is fire, people are going to get burned. Better somebody else get burned than you.

4:35 I think you'll agree. But it's best if nobody gets burned. And I'm going to tell you my method to do that. So first of all, a lot of you guys have beliefs that if you approach a woman, if you try to get her phone number, try to get her attracted to you, you're somehow taking something from her. So the very first thing I teach is you got to be a go giver, go up, give her a good compliment, definitely give her good energy and leave her better from having met you.

5:02 That is the definition of charisma. And that's what I want your philosophy to be. As you approach girl from this episode forward, I want you to leave people better from having met you. If that's giving somebody $5, he's begging for money. If that's giving a girl compliment, maybe a girl who's not very attractive, like a fat girl who's wearing a cute outfit, maybe give her a compliment. When approaching feel better than she feels. Now, the obvious question is, how do I know how she's feeling? You can just tell.

5:30 You can look at somebody and just tell how they're feeling. And you can literally choose to feel 5% better than they feel. When you go up and talk to that person, even if you ask an innocent question, like, do you know where the dairy section is in this grocery store? If you feel better than she feels, you are leaving her better from having met you. And 60% of women want to be approached. 39% of them are open to it. So you are leaving this person better from having met you.

5:58 Now I want you to extend that out and apply it to the relationship as a whole. If you date a girl for two, three, four dates, and for me, it usually lasts either like one date, blow her out on the first date, no big deal. Or like four dates, I'll have sex with her a couple times and we'll determine it's not really my thing, or it's going to last a little bit longer. But while doing that, I always want to leave her better from having met me.

6:18 Have you ever thought about doing this? Have you ever thought that how can I ameliorate? How can I better this girl's life? How can I leave her better from having met me? Maybe that includes teaching or something. Maybe it includes showing her different things about like what we talk about, right? Like confidence, how your brain is just a bunch of BS belief systems in there that don't really matter and can be reprogrammed. The way you look at life will be your experience. If you have a positive attitude, you'll attract yourself many positive things and experiences.

6:48 So I always want to leave girls better from having met me. And here's another point. I never make promises. I don't intend to keep so I'm not going to lie to her. For example, just to have sex. A lot of girls will be like, what's your intention? Do you want to like date me? Do you want to be with me? And a lot of guys will lie just to get their dick wet. I strongly disagree with that. What I generally say to that question when they're trying to see if I want a relationship as I say, you know what?

7:15 I'm open to it, but relationships that start fast and fast. So I'd like to take it slow, see if we get along. And then if it makes sense in the future, and I'm talking like month or two down the road, then maybe we can move it into that step. But right now, I'm still getting to know you and I'm not willing to commit to that. If that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. So we're always honest with these girls. We never make promises. We don't intend to keep.

7:41 But here's the thing. When you're willing to walk away, they will usually do the thing that you want them to do. So for example, she says, we're not having sex until we're boyfriend and girlfriend. You say, you know what? I totally understand that. I respect it. And I want to respect your boundaries. But just so you know, I'm not going to become a girl's boyfriend until I've known her for like three months. I feel you have to change with somebody before you really get to know them.

8:03 So if that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand. No big deal whatsoever. Let's go ahead and part ways. And at that point, they're often like, no, no, no, we can go ahead and have sex. I just, you know, I'm a little bit nervous. And I say, listen, I understand that. And I'm not making any guarantees. So I want to be straight up with you. If we have sex, I'm not guaranteeing we're going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. But I'll tell you what, it's definitely possible.

8:25 And if things continue going the way they're going now, I can see that happening. Okay, so there's that point. Now, what if you're just like dating girls and you know, these chicks aren't going to make the cut, right? Like you happen to approach a girl at, I don't know, Trader Joe's. It goes well. You were just practicing. It goes well. All you wanted to do was sharpen your skillset, but she liked you and she liked you a lot. And the conversation was pretty good. But like you look at her and you're like, yeah, but she's a seven.

8:51 I just don't think that's the kind of girl I could be with. Well, is going on a date with a girl and perhaps even having sex with her always a taking kind of thing. And what I mean is, are you taking something from her by taking her on a date, even having sex with her? Not necessarily. And I think you'll agree when you look at it from a different viewpoint. When I take a girl on a date, I'm going to give her like the best time ever.

9:16 I'm going to tell awesome stories. I'm going to give her, as I mentioned previously, a lot of my philosophies that girls absolutely love. I'm going to teach her things. I'm going to show her gambits that she's never heard of before. We're going to have a great fucking time. And if we have sex, dude, I'm going to give her the most smashing orgasm she's had in years. So is that taking something from her? If I know that it's not going to work out and I'm totally honest with her about it, meaning if she asks me like, hey, before we have sex, I need to know you're going to be my boyfriend.

9:46 And you say, sorry, I can't promise that. And she still has sex anyway, knowing again that we're playing with fire here and she has to know we're playing with fire too. Is that taking something from her? What if she has the best orgasm of her life? Like I licked that thing, like a goddamn starving man going after a clam on the beach after 16 months in the goddamn rainforest. When you do that and you give her an orgasm, am I really taking something from her? I don't think I am.

10:10 So I'm able to practice on girls, even simply going up to them, giving a compliment, giving some conversation without feeling like I'm necessarily taking anything from them. Because again, I go up and I give good energy. I give good conversation. If I take her phone number, she's going to be super pumped. She's going to be on cloud nine that night. When I text her, my texting conversation is awesome. She's going to have tons of fun. If I take her on a date, like, man, she is going to have the best time.

10:35 I'm guaranteeing you, it's going to be one of the best dates she ever had in her life. So we go on the date. I pay for dinner, right? And I'm not saying that she's like a prostitute where I pay for dinner and she has to have sex. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I'm giving her value both through my conversation as well as taking her out. If she chooses to have sex, and believe me, guys, girls are not stupid. They know if they have sex, there's a very decent chance the dude's going to bail.

11:04 And if you bail, I'm going to tell you what to say in a minute. But if she chooses to have sex, once again, knowing she's playing with fire and knowing too, she's probably going to enjoy it. That's her prerogative. And it's my prerogative. And frankly, here's another point. What if the sex is super amazing, right? Like she is a seven. You're not really sure about her. And I'm sure all you guys can relate to this. This is actually the most common thing that happens. You're not really sure about her, but she's like pretty cool.

11:32 And then the sex is just awesome. So you do decide to make your girlfriend. That could happen. So am I using her when I open her knowing like, ah, this isn't exactly my dream woman here. And then I have sex with her and the sex is like goddamn amazing. Am I doing something wrong by doing that knowing that perhaps we could be together because those things that have stacked up in her favor, including the sex, have made me want to be with her. So when you're going through this process, don't just nix girls and think you're taking something from them and breaking hearts.

12:02 Because when you first see them, you're like, no, there's no way. Because I've had girls like this one girl, super fucking hot. First time I hung out with her, the conversation was horrible. I blew her out. Then like a couple months later, I see her in the nightclub. She's super banging. So I kind of started talking to her again. We go on another date and it was like, awesome. I don't know what the hell happened. Either my personality changed or hers did, but we suddenly related really well.

12:30 That chick ended up being my girlfriend. So how can we know what's really going to happen unless as I pointed to previously, you change together or her life situation changes, yours changes, and you guys grow together. There's a myriad of variables for you to suddenly put the kibosh on something because you're afraid you're going to be a heartbreaker. So the way I think of it is this. I am a light onto this world. I literally consider myself what's called a light worker. My job here is to brighten the lives of people, to build confidence in guys like you, to ameliorate this world, to make it better and to make people wake up to their true potential and to show them that they are powerful creators and they are powerful individuals who are way underestimating their power.

13:10 So my job as the light is to go spread that light throughout the world, right? Every single person I talk to, I want to brighten their life. Every email I send, hopefully, I want to leave that person feeling better from having met me. And even if it doesn't work out in some way, I try to give something. Unless they're like a total douche canoe, I'm going to try to be cool to them. Okay, so I'm a light worker. I'm spreading light wherever I go. If I meet a girl, I want to give her the best conversation she's had.

13:37 I want to take her on a date if I choose to do so and give her the best date she's had. Not necessarily like I'm trying so hard, but just because look, you and I are unapologetic alpha silverbacks. Like we know what the fuck we're doing and we know how to take a woman through an experience. At least I do. And I hope you're learning how to. So I feel like I'm giving these chicks a gift. When I approach a girl, I literally think it's equivalent to me going up to her and handing her a hundred dollar bill.

14:09 When I take her on a date, I literally think that it's equivalent of me picking her up and handing her a thousand dollar check. When I have sex with her, I literally think it's equivalent of writing her a ten thousand dollar check and smacking a Rolex upside her head because that's how fucking valuable it is. So look, you are going to break some hearts. It comes with the territory. But like I said, she knows she's playing with fire. And if she lets herself go too quickly, that's on her.

14:35 And women know this, boys, like make no illusions. They know that it's a scary world out there and they've broken your hearts before too. And it is a game in a lot of ways. It is a game. Now I want to be as cool as I can. I want to be as honest as I can. I definitely don't support lying. I don't support manipulation. And a lot of times people ask me like, wait, you're a dating coach. You're a pickup artist for men. Don't you teach guys how to manipulate chicks?

14:56 That's fucked up. And I'm like, no, dude, I teach them to behave how they would behave if they were confident. I teach them to say things that they would say if they were confident. So I help them behave in that way so they can become that way. And then they no longer need my lines, gambits, tricks, and techniques. They just do it out of who they are. So as I tell my guys to go out, I'm like, look, talk to as many girls as you can go on as many dates as you can.

15:21 Yes. Even talk to chicks on the dating apps who you might not be interested in. Yes. Even go on a date with them because you don't know. It could be your soulmate. And look, I'm the first guy to tell you that looks are extremely important, but I'm open-minded to the fact that maybe you meet a chick who isn't quite as hot as you'd love her to be, but she's still an amazing catch for you. For me, she has to have everything, including the looks. Like I have extremely high standards, but I don't know what your standards are.

15:46 I don't know if you agree. So is it a bad thing to possibly go on a date with the chick who you're like, ah, I don't know from her pictures. Then she shows up and she's way better looking in person, which does happen sometimes. Then her conversation is amazing. You guys are like two peas in a pod. Then you have sex with her and it's like the best sex of your life. You cannot tell me that just because she didn't look good on Tinder, that she's not going to possibly make a good girlfriend for you.

16:11 So wouldn't you agree it's worth a shot? And if in doing you're giving her a shot, you're making her better from having met you. And even if you leave her, you're still going to leave her better from having experienced you. Why would you have any moral conundrum about that? Why would you feel bad? And yeah, some hearts are going to get broken. They are. But generally speaking, you are a light onto this world. And it's your job to go search out for your wife, for your future girlfriend.

16:42 Unless you do, you're probably not going to meet her. And that's another thing that I like to say is, look, the reason why I was with so many girls before you is because I was searching for you. I was looking for my wife, you could say. If, for example, she accuses you of like, why do you always go talk to girls? I'm searching for my girl. I'm searching for the one. Like who could blame me for that? It's my job as a man. I definitely don't want women coming up to me as a lot of you guys think you want because they're in the masculine energy and it puts me in the feminine energy.

17:11 So it's my job to open, open, open. Like I'm searching for that needle in a haystack. And that's a little bit of a scarcity mentality needle in a haystack, but it suits the analogy I'm laying out before you in this example. Really, there's tons of valuable women out there. Tons of gorgeous women with great personalities, great morals, good hearts. And I want to fucking go meet them all. And I want to leave each one better from having met me and I'm searching for my wife. So that's the way I think about it.

17:38 And again, I make them no promises. Now I want to give you my template for when I want to break it off with a girl. So let's say we go on about one, two, three, four, up to about eight to 10 dates. I'm going to text them the following. Now adjust this text, obviously based on the situation, but this is for like, you guys are casually dating. You're not quite boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I'm down to give a text. I don't do it in person and I don't do a phone call unless they are my girlfriend.

18:05 I never, ever, ever do it in person unless I'm like in my current situation where I'm living with Marissa. We have a kid together, like we have some assets in our same name. So of course I need to do it in person, but any other situation, boys, I strongly suggest you do a phone call because doing the old jam in person. Oh my God. I don't know if you've listened to a previous podcast of mine called stalkers and freak outs, but I, one time broke up with this one girl.

18:32 She freaked out, started crying, ran out of my house, got into her black Dodge charger with all black tinted windows. Cause like super hot chicks, they have to like fucking tint their windows. This chick was like a banging blonde, like fucking solid nine, super hot blonde chick. She runs out of my house, gets in her car, fucking does a 50 foot Brody. She's like, rounds the corner and fucking hits another car. So I had to go get her and I had to take her home as she's trying.

19:00 And she's like, I don't know why you're breaking up with me. I think we're so great. And I was like, Oh my hell never again. I'm always doing it on the phone or doing it over texting. So back to what you say, you say, Hey Kelly, I really had a great time with you, but I don't think we have enough chemistry to justify continuing this forward. I don't want to waste your time. So I think it's best. We part ways. I wish you nothing but the best comma, take care.

19:26 Okay. So you're saying a few critical things there that's going to let her down easily and rationalize to her in the female mind. Why you're breaking it off. You say, Hey, I don't think we have the chemistry to justify continuing this forward. She may disagree, but you can't really disagree with chemistry. It's really an opinion thing. Then you say, I don't want to waste your time. And this is a huge one because women are always irritated with dudes who are wasting their time. And you say, I wish you nothing but the best.

19:51 Take care and be well, blah, blah, blah. Send that text when you're not her boyfriend. When you are her boyfriend, you basically do the same thing, but you do it over phone. Now you will break some hearts, but she let herself go like too early. You weren't committed, weren't you? You didn't make her any promises. You didn't tell her any lies. You left her better from having met you. So that's the way you get good with women without breaking a bunch of hearts. Or I should say doing it with as few hearts as possible, being utterly honest and always trying to leave the person better from having met you.

20:23 So if you feel guilty, like how can I cultivate this skill set? How can I do this? Go out and give, give, give, give value, give lessons, give teaching, give that light because you are a light onto this world. Make her better from having met you. If she gets too sprung too quickly, maybe you tell her like, Hey, take it easy. And guys, I've had to do this many times myself. I feel like this is moving a little fast. Let's go ahead and take a step back.

20:49 I feel like you have to change with someone to really get to know them. I love that line. I've used it 10,600 million times. You have to change with someone to really get to know them. So you're telling her, look, put the brakes on. Don't get too sprung, which, you know, as a dating coach, I'm going to be honest with you. When you tell her to put the brakes on, it kind of makes her more sprung. But dude, you're being real, aren't you? You're telling her the truth.

21:08 So no fault of yours. If her heart gets broken, you know, you kind of told her like, slow your roll, put the brakes on. Don't come unpeeled. We're going a little fast. If you tell her that you're in the clear. So you continue to open girls. I want you talking to 10 to 20 chicks at once. Personally, for me, I don't have sex with more than one girl at a time. Usually, right? There's been some overlap, but what I like to do is like be having sex with one and kind of get over her, see some things that aren't going to make it last, blow her out in the way I just explained, and then go to the next girl who I was cultivating while hooking up with that other girl.

21:44 When I get a girlfriend, and again, for me, that takes three months at least, usually six. When I make her my girlfriend, I cut off all chicks who I'm romantically talking to, but I still do have my girlfriends. Like my current situation, okay? I have lots of female friends. I do go out to the nightclubs. I still do day game. I approach chicks. Sometimes I'll yank phone numbers just to practice because I'm a dating coach, and I need to walk the talk as it were. So I'll still practice, but I'm not going to fucking cheat on my girlfriend.

22:16 No way in hell. I have more honor than a fucking phalanx of Spartans, and you should too. And that's another way you should feel good about it is, listen, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to cheat on you. I'm not going to do anything fucked up while we're casually dating. Yeah, I'm going to talk to other chicks, but while we're having sex, I'm not going to bone other chicks most times, right? Sometimes there's situations. It's hard. There's some overlap, but generally speaking, you do the right thing.

22:40 You treat them well. You're honest to them and you make them better from having met you. That's the way to date a bunch of girls without breaking a bunch of hearts. Yo. So gentlemen, I hope you got a lot from this episode. Please tune in to my next one. It's going to be a really good one. If you'd like to meet with me and my team for a free one-on-one breakthrough session, go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the short application. I will get back to you and I do request that you reply to my emails within 24 hours.

23:11 Frankly, if a dude can't reply to an email in 24 hours, then really how serious is he about getting good with women? That's what I ask myself. So that's why I have that parameter. And you will get your free one-on-one breakthrough session where we will discuss your limiting beliefs, traumas, schemas, archetypes, and metaprograms, and help you see a clear direction as to how you can achieve your goals with women and exactly how long it will take. Once again, click the first link in the description below, or you can go to my website and just click on coaching.

23:37 I do appreciate your listening, gentlemen, and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.