10X Your Self Confidence With This Custom NLP Process: "HO'OPONOPONO"

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, I'm going to share with you one of my best NLP processes to give yourself some self-love, to give yourself some compassion for yourself, some forgiveness for yourself, and to radically increase your confidence. Because a big reason your confidence is low, if you're one of the many people who struggle with low confidence, or even if your confidence isn't exactly where you want it to be, is because there's issues from your past which you haven't forgiven, which you haven't dealt with, which you actually have some guilt over.

0:52 And we are going to address that today with this custom NLP process that's built off of actually a Hawaiian concept called, let's see if I can say it, Ho'oponopono, Ho'oponopono. And this is a old ancient medicine man or something prayer that radically changes the person who's doing it as well as other people around them. So this isn't religious. This isn't any kind of voodoo magic or anything like that. It's all based on positivity. It's all based on love. So I suggest you have an open mind.

1:21 Give this a chance because these are the kinds of things that will get you to the next level. If indeed you're struggling with any issues of self-esteem, any issues of confidence, any issues of guilt or self-hatred, this is a really gigantic step towards clearing that out. Now, as a lot of you guys know, I'm an NLP dating coach. NLP stands for Neural Linguistic Programming. I use visualizations much like the one I'm going to share with you today, but this is in conjunction with the Hawaiian prayer that has had such amazing efficacy for those who use it.

1:56 So I've really created this and I've created it off of many of the fundamental principles that I understand about NLP. I've done this myself. I've done this on clients and it's really, really effective. You might want to get the tissues out, bro, because you might shed a tear or two out of your non-shooting eye, of course, out of your non-shooting eye. But this is a way to forgive yourself and we're going to go deep into the subconscious to use this amazing technique to cure you. So first and foremost, I want to tell you about how this thing works and evidence as to the efficacy of this amazing prayer, this amazing protocol that has absolutely changed the lives of millions of people.

2:32 So back in the 1900s, I don't know exactly what year it was, but there was this mental institution for murderers, rapists, the worst of the worst kind of people who you couldn't even let these guys into a jail or a prison because they'd kill people, they'd rape other men. So they had to be in this kind of sanitarium slash jail. Well, all these psychiatrists came in, all these professionals came in and they couldn't deal with these guys. Every single one of them quit. So the owners of this sanitarium were at a loss.

3:02 They were like, how are we going to find somebody to take over for all these doctors who have quit? So they contacted this Hawaiian medicine man type dude and they said, will you come work here? And he said, yes, I will, but I'm not going to do the traditional therapy that has been unsuccessful for you and your sanitarium for years. I'm going to do Ho'oponopono, which by the way, is really hard to say. What's up with the Hawaiians when naming things like the longest names ever, right?

3:27 Their state fish is called Humuhumunukunukuwapua'a. Literally dude, Humuhumunukunukuwapua'a. That's their fucking state fish. I learned that because I lived in Hawaii for three years and it used to be part of a song that they sang on the cruise ship that I worked on. I was a Japanese translator, but that's a whole other story. So anyway, this dude comes in and he says, listen, I'm going to do this ancient Hawaiian prayer and I'm going to see if it works and that's what I'm going to do. So if you want to hire me, you can.

3:54 If not, I totally understand. And they said, that's fine. You know, we're at a loss. Nothing else has worked. So do your thing, man. Give it a try. So the way it works is this. It's basically you say four statements. Okay. And when you say these four statements, you're not trying to heal the person who you're praying for. You're trying to heal yourself. Okay. So this is a really strange concept that at first blush, you'd be like, how in the hell does this work? But when he did this, every single prisoner in that sanitarium was not only healed, but was later released into society and they literally had nobody else to work on.

4:30 Okay. So I really want you to consider this. You have a sanitarium of probably 30, 40, 60 different dudes who are rapists, murderers, complete criminals. He comes in with this ancient Hawaiian thing that really doesn't make a lot of sense when you look at it from the outside, does this thing where he just wants to heal himself. And I'm going to explain that more in a second. Does this thing, these four statements, which I'm also going to tell you in a second, to heal himself and every single one of those guys was healed.

4:57 Now, this, like what I was speaking about in my previous episode, when technology is so advanced, they can't be distinguishable from magic. But what I think is happening here is he's using the universal law of love, of compassion, of forgiveness. And when you heal another, you heal yourself. But also, when you heal yourself, you heal another. And that points back to the universal law of oneness that I always talk about. We are all one. And that goes beyond some airy-fairy cliche saying that you'll see some hippie saying at the spiritual bookstore, it's really true.

5:31 So when I do something for you, when I give to you, it helps me. But also, if I heal myself in light of you, while looking at your issues, I'm actually healing myself, it both heals me and it heals you. That's why it said, you are in the room to heal the room. And that's an ancient spiritual saying, which means the reason we're here is to first be lost and then be found. And part of being found means healing, not only ourselves, but healing others. So in today's meditation, and yes, it is a meditation, we are going to heal ourselves.

6:04 And we are actually going to do it completely for ourselves because I know when you heal you, you're going to heal others, perhaps even me. And I want to tell you this too. When I get an application from an applicant, I actually do this entire sequence that I'm going to teach you today to try to heal him. Even if we don't work together, I'm a very compassionate, loving dude. I want to help you guys. I genuinely want to help you guys. You listening, I want nothing more than to help you, brother.

6:26 And I mean that with utmost sincerity. When people apply to my program, I do this exact thing I'm going to tell you. Okay, so here's how it works. There are four statements you say when dealing with the other person. And when this doctor came into the sanitarium, he would basically be reading their files, okay? And he would see things like, this person raped a woman. This guy killed a guy by shooting him three times in the head. And what this Hawaiian dude would look for would be a reaction within himself that made him angry, that made him want vengeance, that made him want to kill the person of whom he's reading about, or that makes a similar feeling inside of him, or that creates any kind of negative feeling within himself when reading the application or the file of the dude about who he's reading.

7:14 So when an application comes in for me and I read that he has massive approach anxiety, I remember what that felt like. And I feel that within myself. And then I say four statements which are intended to heal myself. Listen, I know this sounds crazy, but just bear with me because this shit works and you're going to need to understand how it works before we can do this NLP meditation together. So focus, man. Keep your attention. I know you can do it. I know like people's attention span is like 33 seconds, but I have faith in you, man.

7:41 Podcast listeners, listen to this. Podcast listeners are typically more intelligent, more able to focus and have better attention than most other people. So you got this, brother. I believe in you. So the four statements that he would say is, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Now, why he would say he's sorry is because when he felt the same thing inside himself that he read in the application or the person's file, he would apologize to himself that he had those things within him.

8:14 He didn't mean to do it. It was inadvertent. He was probably given that bullshit by his parents before he could defend himself. So he apologizes. And in that, he forgives himself. I'm sorry. The next thing is, please forgive me, which also goes into the forgiveness that I just spoke about. Please forgive me is asking yourself to forgive yourself for feeling these things inside yourself. Because if you're abused by a person or in the case of many of you guys who are here for dating advice, if you continue to get with women who are dysfunctional, what's the common denominator?

8:47 The common denominator is you. So there's something inside of you that resonates with that dysfunctional woman. So when you forgive it in yourself and say, I forgive you for that thing I have in myself, which is creating this person who's toxic, you heal yourself and you heal her or him. And in the case of the Hawaiian dude, the people in the sanitarium. The next thing you say is thank you, which, of course, I talk about all the time is appreciation. Thanking the universal intelligence for healing you.

9:17 Thanking you in advance for that which you create. All masters, including Jesus, Lao Tzu, Buddha, Muhammad, all those dudes would thank God first before manifesting that which he wanted to manifest. So he would say, thank you for this healing. And then boom, he would clear a guy's blindness, for example. And if you don't believe in that, that's okay. But what I suggest to you, those who don't believe in this kind of airy-fairy stuff, is have an open mind to it. Because I've found for me, and yes, I am very, very, very hard-headed when it comes to this shit.

9:46 Once I opened my mind to it and really focused on why this stuff works and giving it an honest try, it changed my life. It changed my life. And this meditation, this NLP visualization I'm going to share with you could just do that for you. So be open-minded, man. I'm honestly asking you, be open-minded. And the last thing he says, of course, is I love you. And that is not only love for himself. It's also love for the divine and love for the other person. If you ever have a problem in life, and I want to say this with the preface that if you get one thing from this episode, let it be this.

10:19 If you ever have a problem in life, ask yourself this one single question. What would love do now? If you do that thing, it will heal and fix the problem that you have. Boom, you're done. If we all lived through that principle, could you imagine what the world would be like if Putin was like, what would love do now? He wouldn't be launching missiles into Ukraine. He wouldn't have invaded in the first place. He probably would have tried to reach out a helping hand and help in some way.

10:46 But of course, we are lost in the egoic mind. So most of us don't live that way. But if you just ask that question, what would love do in this situation? It's always the right answer every single time. So those are the four statements. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. So this Hawaiian therapist or whatever he was, went into the sanitarium and cured every single dude. You can look it up. The story is everywhere. And I actually heard this first from a guy named Dr.

11:10 Joe Vitale, a guy who I really enjoy following, and hopefully I hope to have him on my podcast one day. But I followed this and he has a lot of stories. He has two different books on it. This shit really works. So what we're going to do today is we're going to actually do it on ourselves and with NLP. NLP likes to go into the past a lot and deal with issues that happened in our childhood. Because we understand that when we're kids for the first 11 years of our life, roughly, we're in a mild state of hypnosis.

11:42 We're extremely suggestible. Our parents, metaprograms, belief systems, archetypes, schemas, and traumas oftentimes become our own. And we oftentimes go through a lot of trauma and debilitating circumstances that affect who we are today. So what we're going to do in this meditation is we're actually going to go back to when you were a baby. We're going to go back to the ages between zero and five, five and 10, 10 and 15, 15 and 20, 20 and 25, 25 and 30. I'm going to stop there because most dudes are around 30 years old who listen to this podcast.

12:15 That's the average age. But certainly if you want to continue going further with it, you can do so on your own time. But basically what I'm going to have you do is I'm going to have you sitting in a chair and I do not obviously suggest you do this while driving, operating heavy machinery or flying a jet. That's a nod to my new client. You know who you are, brother. So I don't want you doing this while doing something like that, but instead, obviously do it when you have time to close your eyes and get into this meditation.

12:42 All right. So Liam, please cue the music. All right. So we're going to begin this meditation by focusing on the bottom of our feet. There you go. Just bring your attention down to the bottom of your feet and feel the sensation of your feet either on the ground, folded underneath you, perhaps you're laying in bed, wherever you are. Just feel that the bottom of your feet are there and maybe you'll even feel a slight tingling sensation in your feet. Now, what I want you to do is move that sensation, even if it's with just your mind eye and you see it as a color, that's okay.

13:20 Move it up to your ankles, then move it up to your knees, move it up into your pelvis, now up into your belly button, and let's go to your heart. And I want you to take a moment and thank your heart because it works every day, pumping your blood, keeping you alive. And I want to give your heart a sincere thank you as I say the same thing to mine. Thank you, heart, for working so hard for me. Now, as you're sitting in that chair or perhaps laying in your bed or wherever you happen to be, I want you to actually step outside yourself.

13:53 Pretend that the soul part of you is leaving your body, walking about six feet away, turning around, and now look at yourself from that third-party perspective. So pretend that you are the soul that is actually looking back at yourself right now. Look back at yourself and kind of see what you're wearing, see how you're sitting or laying down. Just see yourself wherever you happen to be and just give yourself a nod and say, what's up, man? How you doing? You know, give yourself a little love and say, dude, you're a champion.

14:23 You're a champion. Now, what I want you to do is I want you to imagine that guy sitting there as an infant. You've seen baby pictures of yourself. You remember on some level what you look like. So make yourself right there as an infant, whether you're laying in bed, sitting in the chair, the infant could be all bundled up, sitting on the chair on his side. But that's you, brother. That's you right there. And that infant is about to go through a lot, isn't he? He's about to go through a lot of traumas, a lot of heartache.

14:54 He's got a war ahead of him and make no mistake, that's the purpose of life. There is a reason for this and I can assure you it is a benevolent reason, but he's about to go to war and I want to give that baby some of your compassion, give him some of your love. So we're going to say now four statements to that baby and I want you to feel those within yourself, which means if you're about to say, I'm sorry to that baby, I want you to apologize to him for those things that you didn't know you didn't know when it happened to you, those mistakes you made, those pains and sufferings that your ignorance, which is quite acceptable and you have to forgive yourself for it, which your ignorance created.

15:35 So right now I want you to repeat after me as you look at that baby. Now what I want you to do is imagine that that baby is starting to grow up and somewhere between the ages of zero and five, something happened to you, something negative. Now you might not remember what it was, but you know it was something, even hitting your hand with a hammer or getting knocked over by your brother or disappointing your mom, her getting really annoyed at you and yelling at you or something happened.

16:08 Now, even if you don't remember, that's okay. Just imagine yourself as three years old or four years old and know that that little buddy has made some mistakes. The little guy, he didn't know what he was doing, but you know, he made some mistakes, man, and he feels guilty about it inside of who he is. So I want you to look at him sitting there. He's super cute. He's just a little fella wearing those clothes from back in the day when you were that age. And we're going to say those four statements.

16:34 I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And I want you to really feel love for that little guy, man, because he didn't know what he did. You know, he's innocent. He didn't know what mistakes he made. He didn't know that something he did created those negative things inside himself, or at least he believes that. And some of you guys went through some shit, man. Some of you guys were verbally abused and even physically abused. Some of you, and I send love to you, brother.

17:02 Some of you were sexually abused. And if you're that kid sitting there, like he didn't know, but part of him feels like it was his fault. Part of him feels like it was his fault. And this is why we say, I forgive you. And I want you to forgive yourself, brother. Because remember, this is healing of the self, both for you as a young kid and also you now. It wasn't your fault. Everything that happened was not your fault. So let it go. You didn't know.

17:27 And that's why it wasn't your fault is because you didn't know any better. And this is the whole point of life is to grow up and learn those things that we are here to learn. Now, I want you to imagine that you're anywhere from five to 10 years old. And for a lot of us, there's tons of memories. So just pick out the most prevalent one to you, right? Like maybe you blew it in a baseball game. Maybe you accidentally hit another kid in school and you got suspended.

17:51 Maybe you hurt your brother or you did something that you're just really ashamed about. Or you were hurt. You were hurt by somebody. Or like me, you lost your dad when you were 10 years old. One day my dad was alive. The next day he was dead. And part of me blamed myself, right? We always do that. We always feel it was somehow our fault. So I want you to see that kid sitting there in front of you, so innocent, didn't know what you did wrong, but feels guilty for it.

18:16 Feels like in some way it was his fault. And again, even if you can't think of a specific situation, just see yourself sitting there. Okay? When you were anywhere from five to 10 years old. I'm going to do it when I was 10. Now we're going to say those four statements. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Now we're going to expand out and anywhere from 10 to 15 years old, this is where the memories get a little bit easier. I remember for me, I was bullied a lot in seventh grade.

18:46 This kid came up to me. He's like, what's up, man? To give me like a high five. And he had this really hot girl with him. And I didn't know what to do because I was in seventh grade and he was in eighth grade. And I didn't stick out my hand. I didn't know what to do. So he pushed me into the bushes and all the kids were laughing at me. And that hurt bad, man. That hurt bad. And I feel partially responsible for that. You know, I feel partially responsible for everything that happened.

19:07 And I'm going to forgive myself right now along with you. So pick a time between 10 to 15. And even if you can't, just imagine yourself in seventh, eighth, ninth grade, sixth grade, even wherever you were and see that kid sitting there right in front of you. Look at what he's wearing. Look at the expression on his face. He's just a kid, man. He didn't know. He didn't know any better. And it's not his fault. He did his best with the tools he was given. Let's say the four things now.

19:35 I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And now we're seeing that kid anywhere between 15 and 20 years old. Man, this is some of the hardest times of our lives when we were teenagers. So see a time when you were either abused, you were insulted, you were rejected by a girl, maybe you were hurt or you hurt somebody else even. And see that kid sitting there. For me, it's just a skinny ass, nerdy looking, high pitched voice, pre-pubic loser in high school who was extremely unhappy, near suicidal.

20:10 And I want to give that kid some compassion. And I want you to give yourself compassion now. Let's say the four things. Now we're going to imagine ourselves from the age of 20 to 25. A lot of these pop into my head too, because I was still lost. And I personally feel you don't even become adult until you're in your mid thirties, maybe even forties, but all through your twenties, you're still a kid. Your prefrontal cortex doesn't even stop developing until you're 25 years old. And I was the biggest douche canoe that ever walked this earth.

20:46 I was a hater, super negative, super suicidal, insecure. I only wanted to bring other people down. And when I look at myself, sometimes I do judge myself, but I didn't know what I was doing. I was lost in my ego because that's what society teaches us to do. So I'm going to forgive that kid now and tell him, I love him, which you're going to do to yourself right now too. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And now let's go to 25 to 30.

21:15 Anywhere from 28 years old is when I had my panic attacks, which I spoke about recently. So I'm definitely going to do it at that time when I was living in Japan. But what about you, man? Can you picture yourself when you were that age? Did you make some mistake? Did you get rejected by a girl? Maybe you got your heart broken during this time, or you lost your first job, or you hurt somebody else. You stole from somebody maybe, or you screwed somebody over really badly, insulted somebody, even physically abused somebody who knows what you did.

21:43 But the time now is to forgive yourself and to heal yourself. So let's say those four things. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Now let's just do one more for those of you who, of course, are younger than 30 to 35. That's okay. Just ride along. I have a few extra things I want to say, so don't click out just yet. 30 to 35, I can specifically remember. That was the time I was living in Hawaii. And I want you to remember, too, where you were.

22:10 See that guy sitting in front of you. All his intentions. All he wants to do is be happy. He just wants peace. So let's say those four things. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. All right, boys. So if you are older than that, of course, you can do the rest on your own time. And what I suggest you do, if this affected you in any way whatsoever, and even if it didn't, this is really powerful. So I suggest you do it. I suggest you go through your entire life and see those negative instances.

22:40 And remember, you didn't know any better. You were operating with your model of the world, which was insufficient to deal with that issue. And I also want you to not have resentment towards the issue. The issue was there to spur growth, to spur learning. That's the whole reason we're here. If we live under the illusion that everything should work out perfectly, that's just what it is. It's an illusion. The world is designed to challenge and intrigue you in order to make you grow into the next best version of yourself, to create solutions because you are a powerful creator.

23:12 So all those things that happen, forgive them. They had to happen so that you could develop into the next best version of who you really are. So those things where you felt like you made mistakes, say, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And move on to the next step. Self-compassion is massively healing. And when you go up to a girl the next time and present to her who you are, there's no longer that self-resentment, that low self-esteem, that lack of confidence, because lack of confidence comes from not believing in yourself, not trusting your word, feeling guilty about those things that you did.

23:46 And as I said, man, even if something was done to you, you oftentimes harbor guilt about that thing because you think in some way you created it. And you know what? In many ways you did create it, but you can forgive yourself for it because you knew not what you were doing. You knew not what you were doing, and it's time to forgive ourselves for those things and those mistakes that we've made in the past. And forgive the mistakes even because they are necessary for us to grow into the next best version of ourselves.

24:13 Without those mistakes, you wouldn't be able to heal that shit right now on this podcast. That's why they have a purpose because you're going to wake up tomorrow morning after hopefully doing this, feeling a lot better about yourself than you did before you listen to this. That's my goal anyway, and I hope it works for you. Obviously, gentlemen, I'm not able to share my premium content on this podcast because I have to customize it to each one of my clients, which I do. But there are processes that deal specifically with trauma, things like being rejected by a girl, being verbally abused, having someone close to us die, being insulted by our friends, losing a game when you were a certain age, or anything else that you harbor guilt about.

24:52 We can remove the severity of that trauma and move on from it in a healthy way where it doesn't affect us anymore so that when we do things like try to get a girl, she can see in our body language that we fully accepted ourselves and that we fully love ourselves, which means she's going to be attracted to you. When dealing with money, if you have a belief system, I'm not enough, I'm not worth it, I'm not lovable, all that bullshit, it prevents abundance from coming to you because on some level, you still carry guilt about what happened in the past, which wasn't your fault consciously.

25:25 It wasn't your fault consciously. So that process I just shared, ho opono ono, God, that's hard to say, is one of the ways that we can heal some of those things. And believe me, I have many more tools in my toolbox, all of which I give you if you join my program. I make a custom three-month NLP protocol just for you. Now, I want to let you guys know that I do not do NLP separately from my dating program. My dating program is to get new women into your life, to become a master at attracting and seducing women over three months.

25:54 And as of now, I only include that in my three-month coaching program. However, I am going to make some individualized NLP protocols for things like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and some other things that might be able to benefit you. But the creme de la creme will always stay in my program. And this is why I have the reviews I do, bro, is because this shit works. So if you felt any movement, if you felt any kind of tearing up or emotions, and honestly, even if you didn't, if you went through that with an open mind, I feel I could help you, man.

26:26 I feel NLP is exactly what you need to get you to the next step. Sign up with me and my team for a free one-on-one breakthrough session where we are going to go over your traumas, belief systems, archetypes, metaprograms, and negative bullshit in your head to see why you're not getting the kind of success you want with women. And we will get you past that, yes, in as little as three months. Go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the Jesus, slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together.

26:55 Gentlemen, I really do appreciate you listening. On a previous podcast, I accidentally said that I draw podcasts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That is incorrect. It's Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. I got a lot of good shit coming and I will see you in the next episode. I got a lot of good shit coming and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.