How to Keep a Girl Interested (in Dating & Relationships)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? It's Mark Sing from the UMP. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Unapologetic Man Podcast. And today's episode is based on an email I got from a listener who asked me how to keep a girl interested once you're dating her or maybe even once she's your girlfriend. So I happen to have a lot of experience with this and not bragging or anything, but I've actually never been broken up with.

0:40 And I don't say that to toot my own horn, but instead I just want to impress upon you the importance of the 10 strategies that I'm going to share with you here that I feel I've kind of understood intrinsically and it kind of just always worked out for me that way. Probably just how I am because I do these things naturally. I don't have to try to fake it. And it always surprises me when I hear guys who lose women's interest after they've been dating them. Whether it's after the first date, they can't get a second date, or even when they're their girlfriend, it seems like they get broken up with a lot.

1:18 So these 10 strategies are tried and true. When guys get these down, they always keep girls interested. And the guys who get girls interested in them, particularly guys who are able to make women fall in love with them, they got these down pat. So make sure to stay till the end because I'm also going to give away some bonus points that are extremely important for keeping girls interested. And I dare say maybe even making them fall in love with you. So here we go, guys. Let's jump into this.

1:44 Okay. First and foremost, and I think this is probably the biggest reason I've always been able to keep girls interested is you have to have your own life. And when I say that, I mean, she cannot be your first priority. Okay. You need to have dreams, ambitions, a purpose that goes beyond her, something that consumes you, something where you're working on it constantly, and it's always on your mind. It's the first number one thing that's on your mind. And she can see that from you. She can sense it from you.

2:16 And when you're ambitious, when you're a go-getter, when you have something bigger than yourself, bigger than her, she is going to get extremely attracted to that. And she's going to stay interested. Why is that attractive? Because as we've discussed in previous podcasts, women want a man who's going to be successful in life and pass genes on to a son or daughter, who's going to have those same traits. It's a demonstration of survivability, ambition. When you're ambitious, you have a higher chance of being successful. And when you're successful, you have a higher chance of surviving.

2:52 Therefore, she wants to pair bond with you so that you can have offspring that will have the same characteristics. Okay. So you work on yourself, your growth and development is the first priority for you, not her. All right. Number two, I call it being the sanctuary. When she's with you, you want to be almost like a vacation for her from her life. You want to be the place where she goes, where she feels safe. She's having a good time. She's getting those good emotions. And then when she's away from you, she's missing you.

3:26 So I always say with women, you always kind of want to tuck them under your wing, like they're your sidekick. But also when they come over to your house, you want to show her a good time. You want to get her into those emotions, make her feel good. Once again, not by supplicating to her, but doing all the strategies that we've talked about, right? Being that guy who makes her feel like she's led to where she wants to be led to. So you want to be the joy in her life.

3:56 The guy that she talks about with her friends, the guys she's daydreaming about when she's at work. And then when she comes over to your house, it's like, she's high. She gets those endorphine hits. And then when she leaves, she's bummed. Okay. And that leads me into number three, you want to give space. Okay. Attraction is built in space. You should want to hang out with her less than she wants to hang out with you. If you want more than she does, and you telegraph that it's over.

4:27 This is the big reason guys get broken up with. And I think this is the big reason I've been so successful in relationships is because I'm naturally a very independent person. I'm almost more independent than anybody else. I know. And because of that, it's worked really well for me in relationships. Girls have always wanted to hang out with me more than I wanted to hang out with them. When I finally did hang out with them, they would be so excited. They'd come over. And once again, I'd be that sanctuary for them.

4:54 I show them this amazing time. And before they're satiated, I push them away. I say, Hey, I got to get going. I got shit to do. I got my dreams to follow my ambitions to follow up on. I got work to do. I got shit to do. I got a podcast to film. Sorry, I can't hang out. And I even do this with my current girlfriend, Marissa, you know, like we live together. We have a baby together, but it's always like, I'm, I'm pulling away off doing my own things.

5:23 I'm going to the gym. I'm going to jujitsu. I'm filming a podcast. I'm going into the woods. And she's kind of always like, ah, I want to, I want to like come with you. Now there's a way to balance this, which I'm going to get to in a moment, but you always want to be a little bit out of her grasp. You always want to be a little bit more independent than she wants you to be. And that starts with giving her space. Okay. That goes into number four, which is, it's my opinion that you should like her less than she likes you.

5:50 Okay. I've never once ever, ever seen a relationship work or a dating situation work where the dude like the girl more than she liked the dude. And he was chasing her. He was supplicating to her. He was basically giving her his balls in a knapsack and saying, please accept me. Please be with me. Never works. It always seems to work when the dude likes her a little bit less than she likes him. Now, believe me, I've been in the situation where I liked the girl more than she liked me.

6:25 But in that case, I had to just control myself and I had to act like I didn't like her as much as I really did. If she didn't text me back, I wouldn't like follow up and be like, Hey, are you still there? If I could tell she didn't want to hang out, I wouldn't push for it. I just make myself be more independent than she was. I'd make myself hang out less than she wanted to. I would keep her at arm's length. And then dude, she would get more interested, more interested.

6:54 And I would always wait for her to get more interested in me before I showed her how interested I am in her. Going back to my previous podcast, the 8,100 rule. Okay. If she's liking me at a hundred percent level, then I would show her that I like her at 80% level. Even if I'm like at 150, I would hold myself back because if you show too much that you like her, man, it just kills attraction. It just does. And you know, it's not ideal that we have to play games, but what I'm teaching you is how you'd act anyway, if you had everything in perfect order and frankly, how girls actually want you to act when you're dating them.

7:35 This is really important. All right. So that segues into number five and you need to let her know that you're okay without her. She cannot be the end all be all in your life. She cannot be that one girl that completes you, that fills that hole in your heart that you've been looking for, for your whole life. And you completely just give yourself over to her and you supplicate to her and all the stuff you see in Hollywood movies. It's bullshit. She has to know that you're fucking okay.

8:03 And furthermore, she has to know that you chose her from choice, not from scarcity. Okay. So you chose her from abundance, not scarcity. All right. So my girlfriend, Marissa, right? I choose her and she knows that she knows that obviously I have tons of game. I could go get a girl probably tonight if I really wanted to, but I choose her. And because I choose her, she feels really, really special. She's like, Oh my God, he chose me among all these other girls that he's talking to.

8:37 He chose me. When she knows that you're preselected, when she knows that you have options, when she knows that you're an alpha who could get another girl, but you consciously choose to settle down with her, it gets her so much more attracted to you. And it makes her appreciate what she has. If she feels like she, you just settled for her because you couldn't get anything better. Then she doesn't feel that special. She just feels like the choice number B out of like two bad candidates.

9:07 Right. But if she feels like the cream of the crop who you chose among literally hundreds of other girls, then it means so much more to her. And she's going to be way more invested in that because she knows if she squanders it, if she throws it away, if she disrespects it, you're going to be out the door and going to get a new girl, you know, before the door shuts. So that's really what you need to communicate. Now, one caveat to this is you never want to outright say it.

9:29 You don't want to say to her, Hey, uh, just so you know, I choose you and I could get any girl I want. I mean, you kind of say it, but it's more just understood. It's more just expressed in your actions. All right. So number six is to lead. All right. So I always say this lead women to where they want to be led. This needs to be the foundational frame control element that's present in every stage of your relationship from the very first conversation to the day you guys die together on your deathbeds.

10:02 When you're married, you are the man, you are the leader. You have to lead the woman. If you give her the reins and you ask her to lead, it is going to blow up your face and she's going to lose attraction for you. Okay. So you see many guys who get into relationships where the woman is wearing the pants. Now, sometimes that works because of dynamics with femininity and masculinity. There's a polarity shift where the woman becomes the masculine and the man becomes a feminine. Some people argue that relationships can work that way.

10:38 Some people like it that way. Okay, fine. 0.01%. It works. But I'm telling you when that happens, when you let her test your boundaries and you become the woman and she becomes the man, she is going to lose respect for you. She is going to lose attraction for you. She is going to leave you so fast. You won't even know what the hell happened. Okay. So women's jobs is, is to push your boundaries. Just like a child's job is to push her parents' boundaries. A woman's job is to test your boundaries.

11:06 And if you let her push you down, if you become a floor mat, if you become a yes man and do everything that she asks, buy into her frame, she is going to lose respect for you. We were recently talking about a family member whose wife treats him like absolute shit. He's the sweetest guy in the world. He's just like, you know, this guy wouldn't hurt a fly, but his wife is brutal to him. Why is that? Because she tested his boundaries. He didn't stand up to her.

11:32 He was a floor mat. So now she resents him and she doesn't like him. She's pissed at him in a way. And that's why she says mean things to him. She's just brutal to this guy. And he's like the sweetest dude ever, but he's just getting stomped on by this chick because she's pissed at him. And frankly, she should be. It's his fault. He wasn't the man. He didn't stand up to her. Again, a woman's job is to test your boundaries. She's going to say mean shit to you.

12:01 She's going to try to flex up on you. And it's only a test. And she wants you to pass. But if you don't pass, then she has no other choice than to keep stomping on you. It's like we've all had that high school or elementary school or middle school teacher who was a pushover. And what did we do? We became bigger and bigger and bigger dicks until the whole class was talking over her. They disrespected her. And we resented her because we wanted to be led, but she didn't have the balls to stand up to her class.

12:30 So we weren't led. I'm thinking of a specific teacher I had in high school. I think she was a Spanish teacher. It was pathetic. It's like you have to stand up to these chicks. They want you to win, but it's their job to test you. So don't get butthurt about it. Just learn frame control. You could either keep listening to my podcast or hire me and I will teach you how to control the frame, how to lead women to where they want to be led and how to treat a woman, how she wants to be treated without being a floor mat.

12:57 All right. So that leads me into number seven. You must have the power in the relationship. Okay. Feminists may be listening to this and they get pissed off, whatever. I don't care. You have to have the power. You are the final decision. You are the man. You can still respect her. You can still lead her to where she wants to be led, which is what I do with Marissa. But Marissa, for example, right? She is a high powered executive. She's the leader of a digital marketing team at a multi-conglomerate corporation.

13:25 She has people under her. She hires and fires people. She makes big decisions. She's a fucking champion. But when she comes home, she's the woman. I'm the man. I make the final decisions and that's the way she likes it. She doesn't want to come home and continue being in the masculine role. She wants to come home and be a woman. And I let her do that because she trusts in my masculinity. And that's what you have to do with the women that you're dating. You have to have the power in the relationship.

13:59 She's going to test your power, but you need to be stalwart, ensconced, unreactive like my previous podcast. Then she'll trust you and give into you. And that's how a relationship works. And that is how you keep her interested. All right. Number eight, don't get too relationshipy too soon. This is a huge problem that guys do. I've talked about it in previous podcasts. Once again, you need to let her be the barometer of how relationshipy you get. Now, what do I mean by relationshipy? It's like after you have sex with her, you're spooning her from behind and kissing her neck gently and telling her how beautiful she is.

14:37 You're scratching her arm in a certain way on the second date. Okay. That kind of like relationshipy type stuff. You want to wait until she does it first and then you can follow a little bit. Now you might be asking, well, wait, didn't you say I have to lead? There's a way to lead where you let the woman be the barometer and you match and then lead. It's called pacing and leading. And in this context, you have to do it with women. Okay. So that goes into my next point.

15:08 Do not ask her to be your girlfriend until she brings it up. Okay. This is once again, pacing and leading. You wait and wait and wait until she starts going. So what are we? When she says that, then you can decide whether or not you want to ask her to be your girlfriend, but bro, do not do it until she brings it up. This is where you need to let her be the barometer. It's just like physical escalations. You don't want to push physical escalations until you can tell she's ready.

15:37 How can you tell when she's ready? Well, it takes a lot of experience, but there are certain signs that she's ready to like make out. She's ready for you to take off her bra. She's ready to have sex. They do give you signs and most of the time it takes experience or coaching, but when it comes to physical escalations, when it comes to relationship escalations, you need to let her be the barometer. All right. Number nine, annihilate her in the bedroom. I'm a strong believer that you need to give her the most intense orgasm she's ever had in her life.

16:07 You need to make her into a screaming demon who just looks like she got hit with a tornado. You need to make it about her, make her come three to four times every time you have sex with her and make her want the sex. If you're out of shape, if you're not good at going down on girls, if you're not good at sex, if you're a two dip skip, if you're a one pump chump, if you got a millimeter Peter, or you got erectile dysfunction, all these things can be worked on.

16:37 If you leave me a review on iTunes, as you know, I will send you my book guide to the female orgasm that teaches you how to go down on a girl and turn her into that screaming demon. That looks like she just got hit with a tornado. So important dude. In my opinion, I have had girls tell me that they've left guys because they sucked in the bedroom. I have slept with girls who were cheating on their boyfriend. Not to my knowledge until after because the dude sucked in the bedroom.

17:04 And I've met many girls that don't even have sex with their guy anymore because he sucks in the bedroom. And furthermore, because he supplicates to her and he's in the feminine role and she's in the masculine role. That is the quickest way to kill a woman's attraction for you. And finally, number 10, always be slightly out of her grasp. Never let her possess you fully. Even when you're in a relationship with a girl, you should be hard to nail down. And when you choose, and I want to say here, choose is the operative word.

17:35 When you choose to spend time with her, she feels privileged. Your alone time should be more important to you than spending time with her. And when you choose to give time over to her, she's like stoked about it. And she's like, Oh God, you go great. We get to hang out. Even when you like live with the chick, when you're in a relationship with her, your alone time is number one, your cave time, your man time, your projects, your purpose, your passion should be number one to you.

18:06 And she is not your first priority. All right. So a couple of bonus points. Never, ever, ever show jealousy. Never show that shit. Okay. In the movies, they make it look cute. Sometimes girls will tell you it's endearing, but it's complete bullshit. And frankly, bro, if you're secure with yourself, you just won't get jealous. In fact, I find it laughable that dudes like get pissed off when another dude is checking out their chick to me. And I mean this with utmost sincerity. I take it as a compliment.

18:37 I love it. When guys check out Marissa, I love it. When she gets jocked, I actually look forward to it. I ask her all the time. Hey, so what, like what happened? You know, when you went in there, did something happen? And there's always stories about how she gets sweated. Guys are hitting on her guys become fumbling jackasses when they talk to her. I love hearing that shit. Cause it's compliment to me. I'm the dude who has her and I'm so unbelievably secure with myself. I so know that Marissa's head over heels in love with me that I know she's not going to leave me.

19:11 Okay. Never complain to a woman about your problems. This is a huge thing that most guys do. If you have problems, talk about them to your friends or to me, your coach, you can hire me and I can help you through them. But venting your emotions is feminine. And when you do it to a woman that you're dating, especially if you get negative and you start complaining and bitching and be a little punk about it, she's going to lose respect for you. She's going to lose attraction for you.

19:38 And she might just break up with you. All right. Last but not least, you need to be the man. That means protect her, provide for her and preside over her, make her feel safe, vulnerable. And like she did when she was a little girl and she was nestled up in the arms of her dad. Okay. Being the man means all these things I talked about, but more importantly, it means stepping into your masculine energy. And as you continue to grow as a man, and as you continue to listen to this podcast and develop your masculine energy, you will naturally do these things.

20:16 If she says, Oh yeah, Adam was flirting with me over at blah, blah, blah. You're going to be like, Oh really? That's awesome. And then suddenly she's going to feel a lot more attracted to you. But if you're like, really? Fuck that guy. Well, are you like attracted to him? Did you, did you give him your number and do that whole like poor me beta cuck pussy reaction? She's going to lose attraction for you. And this is the reason dudes get broken up with. They're simply not masculine enough.

20:41 They're too reactive. They're going into the feminine role. So the last and most important piece of this is to be the man, be the leader, take her and tuck her under your wing, be the sanctuary, be slightly out of her grasp, be purpose-driven, be passionate about what you're doing. And when you do that, my friend, I can pretty much guarantee you will keep her interested. All right, you champions. Thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions, you can hit me up at coachmarksingh at gmail.com.

21:11 You can also check out my website. If you want some one-on-one coaching, coachmarksingh.com. Check out all the awesome testimonials I have on that. I'm really getting some success with my coaching clients. Absolutely love you guys. And dude, just like the guy who hit me up about this podcast, if you have any ideas for some episodes you want me to do, feel free to let me know. I'm always looking for more content. So hit me up, my brother. I'm always here for you. I appreciate you.

21:36 I value you and I respect you because you are a man and you make no apologies for it. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.