How to Pick Up Girls at The Gym - A Step By Step Guide

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP Happy Monday. And this podcast is going to springboard off the last episode I did where I talked about the three powers you must cultivate to be a superior man, man, man, man, man. So what I'm going to do in this episode is put a battery in your back and get you pumped up to actually yank some girls out of the gym.

0:40 Because a lot of you boys work out, much respect for that. You go to the house of gains, some of you guys are even on that gear, and you want to get so big that when you try to walk through a door, you actually have to turn sideways and shuffle through because you're so fucking wide, bro, you got those cannonball shoulders. So if you're into the gym, which again, I strongly suggest, especially for you guys that were like me, who are so thin when you take a shower, you have to watch out for the drain so you don't slip down it.

1:06 I really suggest you guys work out. And if you're in that gym, you see cute girls, man, because we love women who are in shape, don't we? We love women who tend to their looks, really are trying to better themselves, just like we're trying to better ourselves. And as I talked about also in that previous episode, when a girl says she wants a dad bod, that usually comes from women who themselves are out of shape. I guarantee you, any woman who works out, she's attracted to dudes who work out too.

1:33 And let's be honest, those girls are often the most attractive. I don't know about you, but I like a nice fit body. I like a girl who takes care of herself. And a lot of times we see a girl and we want to learn how to yank her out of the gym, but we don't know how to do it. Particularly when they're listening to headphones or they're on the Stairmaster, we don't want to disturb them. And a lot of girls purposely cultivate that RBF, resting bitch face, so you don't approach them.

1:59 But I'm telling you, it's a lot easier than it appears, but we're going to do it in a very tactical, intelligent way so that our true motivations are somewhat disguised. And or so that we can get to know her a little bit first, because why would you want to yank a girl out of the gym if you don't fucking know her? So many guys are like, how do I get that girl's number? I'm like, why would you want her number? Because she's hot. So that's one goddamn checkmark off the box of 10 checkmarks.

2:23 Go talk to her and see if she's cool. See if she makes you laugh. See if she laughs at your jokes. See if you guys jive. Just because she's hot, do you really want to go on a date with her? Tell you what, boys, I've been on dates with many hot girls. A lot of them are fucking sea donkeys. And I blew them out within 15 minutes, which is another episode I should do. How to build abort mechanisms into your first date. Because I'll tell you, when you're dating four, five, even six girls a week, sometimes you just want to get the hell out of there because they are as boring as watching paint dry.

2:53 Before I jump into the content on this episode, I want to let you guys know that my free, that's right, F-R-E-E breakthrough session where you and I get on the phone together, do a little coaching, talk about your struggles with women, bro out like two warriors around the campfire after battle. Go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com, click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit, and I will send you my schedule. And you and I will get on that free Zoom call together. If you want to meet me, I want to meet you too, man.

3:21 So sign up and let's get on the phone together and chat and see if you're a good fit for my three-month coaching program and if I'm a good fit for you. If I feel I can turn you into a bonafide girl magnet who yanks girls out of the gym left and right, then you and I can spend the next three months together and let me turn you into that girl magnet. All right, so let's get into it. First, I want to talk about campaigns, okay? You guys who have been listening for a long time, you should know this.

3:47 My clients, smack yourself upside the head if you don't know what the fuck this is because this is a central tenet to my teaching. A campaign is when you do little touches on a woman who you see all the time. So you talk to her once and then you abort before asking for the phone number. Talk to her again and again over sometimes weeks or even months before you ask for the phone number. Why do we do this? Well, particularly when it's a woman who you're going to see again, I strongly suggest campaigns if, and this should be true for all of you, you have enough women in the top of your funnel to hold you over while you work campaigns on different women.

4:25 See, women's attraction sometimes takes time to mature. It takes time for her to figure out that she's attracted to you and if we just go in immediately and try to yank phone numbers, they often don't stick. Or I should say they won't stick unless you do really good in that first conversation. That's why cold approach, which is approaching a woman cold, basically a girl you see out in public, a girl you run into in the mall or something like that, doesn't have the highest number of conversions when it comes to girls texting you back.

4:56 As I always say, it's pretty easy to pull a phone number because a lot of the times women will give you their phone number just to not have a confrontational energy in the interaction. You ask for it, she's going to give it to you, but she's not going to text you back. So getting phone numbers is one rung on the ladder of getting better with women, but when it comes to cold approach, they often don't stick. Or I should say they don't stick as much as when you can do a campaign on a girl.

5:23 Either at the nightclubs, you're going to probably see her again, women frequent nightclubs, or even at the gym. So what I suggest is the first open is very casual. You're just introducing yourself, maybe asking her a quick question, and then you eject. You lay the foundation for a relationship. Just like if you met a dude at the gym, you talk about some of the hot girls in the gym, you talk about some of the hobbies you're into, some shit like that. Like it says something cool in his shirt and you mention it and you guys chat a little bit.

5:52 And then like over the next like four sessions, you guys kind of like nod to each other, like, what's up, bro? What's up? And then that stops. And like when he walks by, you kind of don't look at him because you don't want to nod anymore. Human psychology is so fascinating. And then after a month, like you guys completely ignore each other. Well, let's look at it the same way with the woman, right? This takes time to mature. Like if you met a dude in the gym and we've all been there where you meet a dude and he like asks for your phone number too quickly.

6:18 And you're like, what does he want from me? Why does he want my phone number? I hardly know him. This happened to me the other day at the park. You guys who have kids, you can all relate. You take your kids to the park and you get in conversations with the other parents. Well, I got in a conversation with the guy and it turned out he's a drummer. I play drums too. So we're talking about drums, kind of bullshitting. His kid was the same age as mine.

6:40 They're playing with each other. And then he's like, hey man, let me get your phone number. And I was like, all right, bro. And I was like, well, what's your number, bro? I want to text you about that drum set. And so I took his number because frankly, I really didn't want to talk to him that much beyond that conversation. And this is the same thing we do to women when we just ask for the phone number too quickly. Now, when it comes to cold approach, a woman who you will definitely never see again, you don't have another option.

7:07 So you got to yank the number. And if you've shown her that this is a sexual conversation, that you're interested in her romantically, as it says, you're so romantical, bro. If you're into her romantically, then okay, there's a reason for you to grab her number. But in the gym, you're going to see her time and time again, right? And you guys all know how it is. When you see the people time and time again, you like know them and see them almost more than you see your own siblings or your own mom because you run into these people all the time.

7:37 And it reminds me of surfing. I was super into surfing for the first half of my life. I grew up in Newport Beach, lived in Hawaii. You would go surfing and see these same fucking jackasses every session and you don't know their names. So you and your friends start giving them names. We had a guy named Super Hater because he was like super fucking angry and would yell at everybody. We had another guy named Horse because the dude would like surf a wave all the way into shore in Santa Cruz and paddle for like a mile.

8:03 He wouldn't walk down the beach. He would just paddle out. He was like a fucking horse, dude. He had so much power. And we had another guy named Mantis because he had this super wide stance. But boy, could he hit it off the lip, dude. He was like, boom. We're like, damn. Maybe we should stand like a Mantis and we could hit it off the lip too. But you get what I'm saying. I don't even know where I'm going with this. You see the people all the damn time, but you don't know them.

8:24 So what we're doing here is we're just getting to know those people. So that's the premise. I'm like, where did I go with this whole thing? I'm like, oh, I remember. I was doing a whole circle to get back to the main point, which is I want you to get to know these girls, okay? Just introduce yourself. And what you can say is simply this. Hey, I've seen you in here a couple of times. I've never introduced myself. What's up? I'm Mark. What's your name? Hey, what's up, Jessica?

8:47 So how long you been lifting for? La, la, la, la. Cool. Well, listen, I got to get back to my workout. Have a good one, okay? So you've laid the foundation. We're not trying to do anything crazy. We're just introducing ourselves. Then you can go up to her again, say, hey, I noticed you were doing this and this. What is that? Hey, what's up? How's your workout today? Hey, did you see they changed the fees? Hey, somebody robbed the locker room. Did you hear about that?

9:09 So you're looking for a conversational substance that pertains to the environment you're in, which is the gym, okay? So over several weeks, maybe even several months, you're just chit-chatting with her. You're just bullshitting with her. Conversations get a little bit longer. Maybe you can even find out her status. Does she have a husband or a boyfriend? If you talk to her enough, they'll usually drop it in if they're not interested to which you move on. But what I'm saying is you don't put yourself out there and you don't try to go too quick before you can mature that attraction.

9:41 So when you're maturing the attraction, you should be looking for those signs. Is she excited to talk to you? Is she coming near you to try to talk to you? Does she approach you? Is she yanking her headphones out of her ears when you walk up or does she look slightly disappointed? Pay very close attention to her body language, pay very close attention to how the conversation goes and always try to end it on a high note. I always try to end it when she's laughing, when she's feeling good.

10:07 I say, hey, I got to get back to my workout, have a good one and I'm walking away while she's still laughing. This is extremely powerful. You don't ever want to overstate your welcome with women, particularly or actually in all situations, but particularly when you're doing a campaign. the campaign is to mature the attraction, to make her feel good around you, to give her that trust that she needs to feel for you and then when you get those signs of attraction, you can say, you know what, you seem pretty cool.

10:33 Do you have an Instagram, a Facebook, or even a phone number if you're comfortable doing that? Now, this goes into my biggest warning of this entire episode which is this. Why would you want to yank a girl out of where you are every single day? I never do it. I flirt with girls all the time in the gym. I get them attracted to me but it would take a very special girl for me to date a girl who I met at the gym. Why? Because I don't want to blow out and make uncomfortable the place I regularly attend to get completely showredded.

11:05 Why in the hell would I want to do that? Now, as alpha men, we can take that social pressure but you guys all know how that is. You like have sex with a girl, maybe her vagina smells bad or she's a bad kisser, she has a weird laugh, she pulls your hair out when you guys are having sex together, she scratches your back, she screams like a banshee, she comes and squirts halfway across the room and it fucking ruins your Batman poster that you had hanging on the wall since 1987 into the collectible and you're like, fuck this, dude, I can't date this girl anymore and you blow her out.

11:35 Now, you're in a situation where you've shat, where you eat, right? You got to go into the gym and see her every single time so personally, I don't suggest it. What I do suggest is if you have a main gym and let's say it's 24-hour fitness, Gold's Gym, where you can work out at different locations, what I would do is I would have my home gym that I would never date a girl from and I would go work out in other gyms for like a couple of weeks straight and do campaigns on the girls in those gyms at the times I happen to be going.

12:04 Now, what are the best times? Obviously, after work, it's the most busy. I personally like to lift in the middle of the day because I'm self-employed. I can do so and I don't like it very busy but if we're doing it just to get women, let's get a high target environment. Now, I'm kind of going backwards on this but before you even approach the girl, a lot of you guys are going to be scared. I've done this enough where I could just cold approach, completely cold, just introduce myself to her and then abort but if you guys are worried, then introduce yourself to some people or talk to some people near her and A, get yourself warmed up and B, let her see you as a charismatic guy and C, let her see that you're not only targeting her but you're just social and you're talking to everybody.

12:47 Okay, so you talk to a bunch of people then you roll up to her and a lot of times too they have their headphones in and guys are like, oh, headphones, like I can't get past that. How do I do that? Bro, relax dude, take it down a gear man. You guys like spaz out over like the smallest fucking speed bumps like COVID dude, I can't, I can't approach a girl. Bullshit dude, just go fucking talk to them. Who cares if she has a mask on?

13:10 Same thing with headphones. What you do is you walk up and you kind of see where her line of vision is and you simply wave your hand in front of it. Okay, it's like, hey, I'm trying to talk to you. What happens? Because you're willing to endure that social pressure which I talk about a lot in this podcast and I'm going to continue talking a lot about this in this podcast. She will pop her headphones out so fast you wouldn't even believe it. Like girls are often like, yeah, yeah, and they're like pulling the headphones out so quick.

13:35 So the whole headphones thing, it's a non-issue. Bro, I've opened girls who are on the phone. They're walking down the street talking on the phone. I walk up, I'm like, hey, hey, real quick, who are you talking to? She's like, my mom. Tell her you to call her back. Okay, mom, I'll call you back. Boom, hangs up the phone. I'm in the conversation. I'll do that all the time because that shows her I'm willing to take social pressure. I'm willing to lead the conversation. Now, you don't want to be a dick about it.

14:00 You know, I don't necessarily suggest that every single time but I've done it many times and it works. So you're just like, yo, I want to talk to you. Pull your headphones out. She'll do it immediately. Ask her a quick question. Introduce yourself. And one thing I strongly suggest is to do a false time constraint. False time constraint is when you say, I have to get out of here in a second but I wanted to come meet you. So what I always say is, listen, I got to get back to my workout.

14:25 Just taking a quick 30 seconds. Wanted to meet you. I see you in here all the time. Or I say, I've never seen you in here before. What's up? What's your name? Cool, I'm Mark. Maybe ask one more quick question. What's up? Do you go to college around here? Did you just move here or something? I've never seen you in here. Oh yeah, I moved here from Texas. You can make a couple small talk about Texas and say, listen, I got to get back to my workout.

14:46 I'll let you get back to your workout. Have a good day. Boom, you've introduced yourself. Next time you see her, approach her again. Have some sort of common thing that has to do with the gym. Did you hear about the robbery that happened in the locker room? That actually just happened at my gym, which is why it's top of mind for me. But you know, they redecorate. Two guys got into a fight. Somebody was doing some power lifting move and he launched the weights into the glass mirror, which actually happened recently.

15:13 So there's always things that are happening in the gym that's common ground or even to your city. You know, even you can even talk about the weather. I don't give a shit. Just get in these conversations, but you should use as you go the techniques I teach, right? The cold reading, 80-100 rule. You could do storytelling, ask her what she does, accuse her of being an ice cream man, tell her you're an ass model. And you can also ask her for tips. I don't love to do this, but it's worked for me in the past where you kind of ask her for tips.

15:40 Me particularly, I have chicken legs with a small ass. So I may ask her about, for example, the booty builder, which I've opened a girl doing that before. I'm like, what is that thing? Is that how I can get myself an amazing ass? Because my dream is to become an ass model, right? She's laughing, tells you about it, maybe can show you some other moves. I don't love asking her for that because then it kind of puts the frame in her hands, but that's something else you can do.

16:04 I would not suggest going up, giving them advice, okay? Being like, you know, you really should keep a 90 degree angle when you lift. Don't fucking do that. They hate it. Don't follow them around creepily from machine to machine. Don't stare at them at the window. Be a fucking champ. Glance at them real quick. And what you may want to do too is see if they're there with their boyfriend. I know a lot of you guys are freaked out about that. See if they're alone. If they are, go approach them between sets.

16:29 Don't open a girl when she's in the middle of a set. I hate it when people talk to me when I'm in the middle of a set. One other thing I wanted to mention is for you guys who lift, do you notice where when you get more status in the gym, when you get more ripped, when you're more confident, people will always ask you like, hey bro, are you using that? Are you using that machine right there? Like you'll be doing like cable curls and a guy wants to use something like a lat pull down or something that's kind of like by you, but it's not the one you're using.

16:55 And they're always like, hey, are you using that? It's like so obvious I'm not using it. I've been sitting here in my backpack sitting right there next to this thing. No, I'm not using that. And like guys who have a lot of status in the gym, you're like working right calf muscle. It's Tuesday morning. You're doing all right calf, bro. And a guy walks to you from across the gym and he's like, hey man, are you using that bicep machine all the way across the gym and to the right?

17:19 And you're like, no man, I'm using the fucking calf machine. You can go ahead and use it. I noticed the more like status I get in the gym and this includes too, talking to chicks, making them laugh. Guys will defer to me a lot and like ask me if I'm using things. Guys will like glance at me. Girls will glance at you. And what you should do is have really confident body language in the gym. So between sets, what I typically do is I'll stand there with my feet shoulder width apart.

17:44 I'll put my hands on my hips kind of like a Superman pose and I'll have my head straight but I'll be looking kind of down with my eyes in the corner like where the floor meets the wall. I'll kind of stare at that and I'll kind of like rock back and forth like be listening to my music. I feel that's a really powerful pose and I also like to walk around a lot like between sets I'll do like kind of laps and I'll walk. You just got to walk confidently and just kind of be in your own world and then when somebody's there to talk to you, you quickly approach them and eject quickly because the worst thing is when a guy tries to sit there for five minutes talking to you and you're like, bro, like I'm trying to get my workout in and this is too why we want to do multiple touches.

18:24 So when a girl's working out, boom, you go over between sets when you can tell she's resting quick. I'm talking 15 to 20 second conversation. Hey, I got to get back to my workout. Maybe I'll see you around. I like to say that too. Maybe I'll see you around and then you continue doing your workout. Another great thing to do guys if you really want to get a girl out of the gym is bring a girl with you. Bring a girl with you to the gym, a friend, your sister, fucking somebody you hire.

18:51 I don't care but let's try to make her as hot as possible. Try to get the hottest girl you know to come to the gym with you and teach her how to work out or you can even tell her what you're up to and let that other girl see you with this hot girl. This ramps up attraction so much. So what I would often do because I have hot friends who do work out. Why? Because hot girls work out is if I was doing a campaign on a girl, I would try to get one of my friends to come with me after I've opened that girl initially and have done a couple touches then I would bring that girl around with me make sure that she knows the girl who I'm trying to get that I'm not like dating this girl we're just friends and I would even talk to her after she's seen me with that girl and say yeah my friend Kelly right my friend Kelly she works out too she was saying this and this so that that girl knows that this is just your friend but dude she's hot and an attractive guy not only gets hot girls to sleep with he also has hot friends so if you have hot girlfriends that basically is the same thing as you having a hot girlfriend it's the same amount of social capital attraction capital so that's what I do boys I do a campaign open and eject open and eject over several weeks shit you could even span it out to months I'm always charismatic leave it on a high note always have super confident body language always like you know in the zone talking to lots of people being social even talking to other girls I'll do campaigns on multiple girls so that she's wondering like does he just talk to everybody or is he into me kind of wonder questioning that then I'll bring other hot chicks around with me and then once I know that attraction is up to speed like I'm talking signs of attraction laughing easily at my jokes asking me questions about myself leaning in wanting to talk more than I want to talk signs of attraction I'll be like hey you seem pretty cool how would you feel about tossing me your number and we'll catch up somewhere outside the gym oh yeah for sure blau you get her number now sometimes going back to the slut defense mechanism girls are a little wary about giving their number right in front of everybody so you may be wise to do it when she's like in the corner or somewhere where it's a little more private because she may be embarrassed pulling out her phone and doing that because she doesn't want other guys to think she's a slut and who knows maybe she's got her eye on a different guy too I mean come on we're human beings everybody has wandering eyes everybody's interested in seeing more than just one person at a time so while she may be attracted to you she may be attracted to Billy over there too and doesn't want him to see that she's giving her number to you so you want to do it somewhat discreetly as far as opening girls up in the cardio section I don't do cardio at least not at the gym I run sprints high impact interval training I don't suggest it because a lot of the times girls will be pretty bitchy like if you get on the stair master next to her I mean you can get into conversations and I dare say I've done it myself a couple times and I know it's successful but I prefer to do it in a more like calm pace she's not sitting there on the stair master working out while you're talking to her kind of environment but dude you can do that too load up on the stair master next to her ask her a quick question I mean it's like that struggle between annoying them and like being charismatic and I don't know I just personally I don't do that cardio shit I fucking hate it I hate the stair master I don't know how you guys do it man and a lot of the times too like people who do that cardio look at the people who are the most ripped in the gym I'm just saying man I'm just saying if you really want to get really good results by cutting fat with cardio high interval impact training I'm talking go out to the fucking football field run some sprints for 10 to 15 minutes that in my opinion I'm not well educated on this so don't quote me on it that in my opinion is the way to get ripped when you spend tons of time like at a low heartbeat just doing the stair master I don't know it just doesn't seem to cultivate results in my opinion lifting weights muscle burns fat and then doing HIIT or other sports like jujitsu or things that require sprinting I feel that's the best way to get ripped so I don't fuck with the cardio section there's some hot girls up in there but usually they come into the weight room and start working out that's where I open them alright so to review boys first of all get warmed up talk to everybody you're social when you approach her do so between the set ask her an innocuous question just introduce yourself I wanted to meet you real quick what's up okay open her subsequent times that you see her try to bring another girl in there with you and or be talking to other girls in front of her you're a social butterfly when you get those signs of attraction you can try to yank the Instagram or you know occasionally sometimes the Facebook depending on logistical situations or the phone number be mindful that if you're going to open a girl at your home gym you are potentially blowing out something that you should be very defensive over I don't know about you guys but I don't want to blow out my home gym I love working out I do so six days a week it's part of my schedule so do I want to be in like this uncomfortable situation with a girl who I had sex with once didn't like her or just wanted to do a one dip skip get a little sick duck and then dig out and I used her and now she's pissed at me and there's that uncomfortable vibe between us not my style man so if you want to yank a girl out of a gym just be mindful that you may blow out your local gym or what I would do is go to other gyms of the same brand around your area and try to get girls out of those if you really want to get a girl from a gym so that's what I suggest boys I hope this was helpful for you as a reminder I am offering that free one-on-one breakthrough session go to my website coachmarkstein.com click on coaching fill in the goddamn slap in the Jesus and you and I will get on that one-on-one phone call together I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays boys so stay tuned for the next one actually I already recorded Thursdays one I highly suggest all you guys listen to that because I guarantee you if you're dating girls you are going to get this objection which is I don't kiss until the third date or I don't have sex until 16,000 weeks into dating you if you get that shit I'm going to tell you exactly how to handle it how to reframe it like a fucking pimp and walk off with your dignity and tact and probably kiss her and or have sex with her a lot earlier than her little rule dictates so stay tuned for that one and I will see you in the next episode you

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.