How to Stop "HOT GIRLS" From Having Power Over You!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you legends? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me today. And in this one, we are going to talk about how you are afraid of the concept of girl, of the feminine, of women, of their sexy breasts, their perfect butts, their angelic voices, their beautiful eyes, their flowing hair, flapping in the breeze, and you just get so terrified you can't even talk to them.

0:39 I want to record this episode because this weekend I was at the nightclubs and I saw this guy just get completely and absolutely stifled where he had to walk away because he didn't know what to say. And my friend Sarah was telling me a story about how she went up to a dude and asked him a question and he's like, oh, oh, and then he just walked away. And this happens a lot more often than you may think. So if you think you're a super hard case with women, and I know some of you are, there's a lot of hard cases out there.

1:04 I see it all the time. My girlfriend see it all the time. So I want to talk about how to reframe the concept of woman, the concept of girl in your mind. So it doesn't have so much power over you. That's the problem is we are allowing this concept, which isn't real, by the way, it's just a concept. It's a belief system that was somehow put inside your head. And we're going to explore a little bit of that as well. You're letting it control you. You're letting it stifle you.

1:29 You're letting it make you insecure in front of particularly attractive women. For most guys, we can talk to a woman who isn't that attractive. If we're not attracted to her, we're fine. But the second she is fine, then we completely lose our shooter marble. We go into what I call screensaver mode, which is when you can't think of what to say. You can't think of on your feet. And then you just go, oh, and then you walk away like a freaking coward with your tail between your legs.

1:56 And you wonder, why does this keep happening to me? We are going to talk about that. We are going to reframe it. I'm going to give you everything I can to try to help you overcome that if you two are suffering from it. And most guys do. Most guys who come into my program, they usually say the same thing. They say, well, she's not hot. I can talk to her like nothing. But when she's fine, I just become a complete sea donkey. And I'm like, yeah, man, it totally makes sense.

2:20 And we're going to talk about why that is. And we're going to get you through it. So stay tuned till the end, gentlemen. I got a lot of really great tips to give you. Before I get into the content, I got to read a super quick testimonial from my three month coaching program. This is from Dustin. Dustin says, what can I say? Mark's program was a complete life changer for me. Not only did I learn a ton of techniques and tips and gambits that has made it so unbelievably easy to approach and yank women, the NLP program that Mark created for me has completely changed my belief systems.

2:55 I now have real confidence. And most importantly, I truly value myself. Take it from me, gents. Invest in yourself. You won't regret it. That's from Dustin. Dustin, I super appreciate it. If gentlemen, you want to meet with me and my team to talk about if we can get you the same results that we got from Dustin, what's the harm in that? Come have a conversation with us. Let's see if we can help you. It's a non-pressure meet and greet with me and my team to see what your situation is, to see what your belief systems are.

3:21 And like in today's episode, we're going to talk about belief systems, why they were installed in there in the first place. You're going to have a ton of aha moments. You're going to figure out why it is that you're struggling with women. And more importantly, if we can get you to the results that you really want with women. Because I know if you're listening to this episode, you're probably not pumped on the results you're getting. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to get to the end of my life with regrets.

3:47 I don't want to be like, man, I wish I had the courage to learn how to approach women. And that gentleman is exactly why I learned to approach women. Because I was like a lot of you who struggle even to approach them, let alone talk to them. I was at a point when I was younger where I couldn't even look at a girl, let alone go to approach her, let alone try to get her attracted to me. That was completely out of the question. So I had to take years and I even spent decades mastering this art to where not only can I easily approach women now, but I'm really good at teaching it to other men because I've been in your shoes.

4:19 And that's the thing that I think separates me from a lot of other dating coaches. I wasn't just born naturally good at this. I wasn't born with the ability to do it. I had to learn this shit. And I also learned about NLP, which reprograms the mind and how to reprogram it in a way where you are effective with women, where you believe in yourself, where you can approach without anxiety. And that's where all my guys get to. So if you want to come meet with us, click the link in the description below.

4:45 It's coachmarksing.com forward slash coaching. Read that page all about my coaching offer. I have over 200 testimonials on there. And I have a shit ton more to add, including Dustin's and then sign up on the form. You and I are going to email back and forth and you're going to meet with my team to see if this program can do for you what is done for guy after guy after guy. Just have a 10 magnet production facility where we load guys into the front of it and bing, bing, boom, boom, boom.

5:10 They come out the other side as 10 magnets. And this isn't just information. It's a transformation. We are with you every step of the way. We hold you accountable. This is done with you. It's not just give you a bunch of information and go study it on your own, bro. No, there's a high level of accountability. And that's why we get the success that we do. This shit works. So gentlemen, why is it that a lot of us are afraid of women? All right. I've been studying this stuff for a very long time, starting with myself and ending with thousands of clients under my belt.

5:41 And to me, it's very obvious why a lot of us fear women. Initially, a lot of us had negative experiences with the feminine when we were kids. Either we were berated. We had a mother who deprived us of love. We had a bad experience with a girl or a woman when we were a kid. We were taught by our father to be afraid of women because he was afraid of women. There's a myriad of things that could have happened in your childhood that set the stage for you to be fearful of women.

6:03 Then what happens? We take that fear into middle school, high school, college, wherever. We may get rejected by a girl or the girl who we like. We just can't seem to talk to her because we had that fear. And then it further establishes the fear in our head. It further ensconces it in our subconscious mind. What happens when you believe something and then there's evidence created for it? It only gets deeper embedded into your belief systems, doesn't it? So you have a fear of women or you have a belief that women are negative.

6:38 They're users. They're boring. They're pieces of shit. Whatever it is that you believe, you perpetuate that through your experiences because your belief systems shape your experiences. We think it's the other way around and it can work the other way around too where experiences shape belief systems. But usually belief systems are embedded inside of us subconsciously from the time that you're born until you're about 11 years old. You're in a mild state of hypnosis. You're taking on the belief systems from your mom, from your dad, your siblings, your friends, media, and then you just hit print on that printer producing the same results over and over again.

7:18 So for me, the same thing happened. Growing up, I felt like my mom kind of didn't want me. I always had this weird way of saying to her, just adopt me to somebody else because inside I didn't feel like she loved me. Now, this wasn't her fault. She didn't do anything malicious to me. She wasn't abusive in any way whatsoever. It's just there was this coldness from her that I think a lot of you guys can relate to where I didn't feel like she truly loved me.

7:38 I didn't feel like I was valuable or worthy of her love. And this can also come from a father figure, which is actually more common where the dad is aloof. He doesn't have enough time for you and you feel like you're not worthy of love. This too is why when you become a parent, you have to really dump love into that child. You need to tell that child every single day, I love you. I'm here for you. I'm going to protect you. I'm going to take care of you, which is what I say to my daughter, Lucia, literally on a daily basis.

8:08 I make sure I tell that little girl that I love her at least three times a day, usually five to 10 times a day. I dote upon her. I'm affectionate with her. I let her know that she's loved and so does her mom so that she can grow up to be a healthy adult. But a lot of us, unfortunately, didn't have that luxury. We didn't have parents that were so enlightened or at least privy to this kind of information. So we were deprived in some way of love.

8:30 And then when we grow old enough to need love from women, we have that sense of lack within us and we're going to look for evidence to substantiate it. And the evidence that we look for is created by us being stifled. Okay. So you have a belief system in your head that women are scary or I'm not worthy of love, which is so common. Almost all the guys that come into my program, not all, but 80 to 90% of them have a belief system. I'm not worthy of love.

8:58 And we discover that. And by the way, we have ways to remove it and replace it. I am worthy of love, which makes you more effective to women as we are going to discover in this episode. So you have this feeling, I'm not worthy of love. You see a hot girl who you want that affection from and you get stifled. You subconsciously stifle yourself because you don't feel you're worthy and you want to prove it. That's the way the mind works is it wants to substantiate its belief systems, which is exactly why we have to change the belief systems.

9:25 You idiot. This is why we have to do it. I'm just fucking with you. Just calling you an idiot. I'm just kidding around. I know a lot of y'all are sensitive right now because we're opening some deep wounds. So if I hurt you, I want to let you know your Uncle Mark Singh loves you. Care about you, bro. You are a champion. I got your back. I'm going to protect you. I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to take you to the top of that fucking mountain because you are a legend.

9:48 So come with me. I will lead the way. I will show you to the top. Join my program, you bastard. Oh, there I go again, insulting you. Once again, bro, lots of love for you. So you see that girl, you get stifled, you turn into a douche canoe, screensaver mode, you pee in your pants and you walk away farting a little bit. And you're like, dude, why does this keep happening? Now, another thing we accidentally do is we put women on a pedestal, boys. How many of y'all have seen the 40-year-old virgin where it says, don't put the pussy on a pedestal?

10:20 So unbelievably true. Based on reasons I just went through great pains to explain, we put the woman on a pedestal. We think they're better than us. We think that their vagina is the gates to heaven itself and we idolize it. We cherish it. We look up to it, which is the wrong dynamic to have, as a lot of you know, okay? I'm not saying anything you guys don't know. You know that's the wrong dynamic to have. But a lot of times you can't help it. You're like, dude, I know I shouldn't put the pussy on a pedestal as it were.

10:49 I know I shouldn't give women all this credit, but it's like when she's hot, I'm just afraid of her. There's just fear that's developed within me. And boys, I have been there. As I talked about, all the way up until pretty much I was 25 years old, I was terrified of women. Terrified. Okay? I liked them. I wanted them. I fucking idolized them. I cherished them, man. I used to masturbate so much I was going for a goddamn record because that was the only way I could get rid of this desire for women.

11:18 But I was so afraid of them. And the reason that is, yet again, is because I felt deprived from my mom. I had some critical rejections at certain ages. I remember in fourth grade, so stupid. I asked my teacher to go out with me. I'm like, Miss Ray, will you go out with me? And she's like, no, I can't. We can't do that. Like, I'm a teacher, you're a student. No. That was my first rejection. And you think it's innocuous. You think it's innocent. But a rejection like that can hurt a little fella pretty damn bad.

11:45 The next year, I asked a girl out named Devin. I called her on the phone. I was like, hey, will you go out with me? And she's like, let me ask my mom. So she asked her mom and her mom said no, obviously. And then she came back on the phone. She's like, no. So there's two rejections. Those little small things that you think are innocent and no big deal, they're a big deal to the developing mind. And I'm sure a lot of that happened to you guys too, where you see a girl who you feel the same desire for that you felt for either your mom who deprived you and or a girl who rejected you.

12:16 You're going to fall back into that same ditch of self-doubt because you were rejected, you were shown you're not worthy of love, and you still have those belief systems inside your head. And what are belief systems? BS, belief system, but also bullshit. It's a fucking illusion that was put inside you before you could defend yourself. And now you're continuing to get the same results and you're wondering why. I'm telling you why. This is why it happens and it happened to me too, and it can be fixed.

12:43 So when it comes to attractive women, which I know are usually the biggest source of our insecurities, we can do something very effective without you having to join me and do the NLP. Although obviously the NLP is going to be the most effective and quickest way to do it. But if you don't have the money, if you don't want to invest in yourself for whatever reason, maybe you don't like me, but you like my podcast enough to listen to it, take this advice. You need to focus on how women are just human beings.

13:09 This is one of the things I always think about that really helps me tweak my mind a little bit. And I hope this doesn't put you in a post-hypnotic trance and screw you up, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be good for most of you guys. Think about how disgusting bodies are. Okay? Think about the blood and the pus and the intestines and like you just get past all that surface shit, her makeup, her hair. It's a pretty disgusting body that's there. Okay? And not only that, but she shits.

13:38 She farts. Okay? She gets that white stuff on the corner of her mouth that develops while she's speaking. She throws up. She's negative. Sometimes she sneezes and snot rockets come out of her fucking nose and could hit you right in the eyeball. Okay? When you're having sex with her, her pussy could smell bad. Okay? She's got fat rolls, probably on certain parts of her body. Maybe her nose isn't perfect. Maybe she's a very negative person or she's had some traumas of her own that she hasn't dealt with.

14:06 And she puts that garbage onto you. We idealize women way too much and we need to look at them like they're human. Another thing I like to do is when I'm speaking to a really hot girl, I kind of focus sometimes on what's unattractive about her or something that's kind of like stupid about her. There's this really hot girl I talked to in the nightclub sometime. Goddamn fucking nine. Super goddamn sexy and she knows it. But she does her makeup in this really weird way where she puts like this square line going down the long part of her nose.

14:39 And then for some reason she like dabs the end of her nose and there's like a little circle there. And I look at her and I'm talking to her and I'm just like, why did she do her makeup like that? And I actually questioned her the other day, which is something good to do. Asking women why questions, getting them to explain themselves to you, which puts them down a little bit off their pedestal, at least in your head and a little bit in their head too.

15:02 I was like, Hey, why do you do your makeup like that? I've never seen that before. And she's like, Oh, it's just this art technique I've been doing. And I kind of like looked at it with wrinkled eyebrows and kind of laughed a little bit. And I was like, anyway, and I blew past it. It was a little bit of a neg, which is like a negative compliment or pointing out something about her that I find slightly silly, which is a powerful method, but it's not to like mindfuck or manipulate her.

15:24 It was simply to kind of mindfuck myself and convince myself that this girl isn't perfect. Okay. She's a human being. As I just told you guys, she farts, she shits. She's got horrible B.O. when she exercises, she sweats. She gets all that disgusting stuff on her body, just like we do. So stop idealizing her. Stop putting her up on this pedestal. She's a human being. And furthermore, boys, and perhaps more importantly, her personality. Has she worked on herself? Has she done NLP on herself to try to improve herself?

15:54 Has she dealt with her bullshit? Has she tried to improve her personality? What kind of perseverance has she had? Has she been through travails? Has she gotten past it? Has she become the elevated person that you are? I can guarantee you from my vast scope of experience, as well as the experience of my brothers, really hot girls often have not worked on themselves to any level that's even close to what you guys have done. And that too is why I think being kind of an unattractive dude, being a guy who doesn't really get it, or a guy that comes from a lot of suffering and a lot of trauma in his past is kind of a gift.

16:34 Why? If it weren't for the trauma, you wouldn't be working to get over it. And if you weren't working to get over it, you wouldn't be improving and becoming the champion you are today. I can guarantee you, a lot of you guys, probably 99% of you listening, and yes, you, brother, listening right now, I'm talking directly to you. To you. I'm not talking to anybody else. I'm talking to you. I can almost guarantee you that you've developed yourself more than most hot chicks you see on the streets, in the nightclubs, and in the bars.

16:59 I can almost guarantee it. Why do I know this is true? Because hot girls have a different reality. People are just nice to them. They give them favors. Their lives are easier. And I stand by that. And I will take that to my grave. There are some ways that their lives are more inconvenient, but in a lot of ways, their lives are a lot easier, bro. They get fucking freebie upon freebie. They get the benefit of the doubt. There are actual studies where they've taken a picture of an unattractive five-year-old girl and an attractive five-year-old girl.

17:30 They handed it to the teacher. Both had the exact same bios under them. This kid is disruptive, very negative, yells randomly, starts fights with other kids. And they asked the teacher, can you accept this kid into your class? When the kid is good looking, 90% of the teacher said, yeah, I can handle him. When the kid is unattractive, 90% of the teacher said, no, I don't want this kid. That is how subtle our attractiveness as human beings is communicated, but especially with women. And I don't want you guys to get down.

17:59 I don't want you to use this as an excuse to give up. Even if you're an unattractive dude, and I'm doing air quotes with my fingers for you guys listening on audio, you can still ameliorate yourself, build yourself to be higher up on the social status scale, the more attractive scale than even a super hot girl. And yes, I fully believe that. I have taken guys who look like fricking mountain trolls and turn them into bonafide 10 magnets simply because we remapped what's going on inside their head.

18:27 We got them the experience of dating dozens and dozens of girls. And then they just have that bearing about them. And when it comes to being a dude, it doesn't matter what you look like. But when it comes to being a female, usually looks are almost all that matters. And we give them so much damn credit, but I want you to make your list longer. What kind of morals does she have? Does she tell the truth? Does she have good stories? Is she funny? Is she fun to be around?

18:53 Is she inspiring? Is she trying to better herself? Is she working on herself? Is she listening to self-development podcasts? Is she into health? Is she doing yoga? Does she look like an angel now that she's 23, but in 15 years, she's going to look like a mountain hag? These are the questions to ask yourself. So now we're having higher standards than her just being hot. And we can convince our subconscious mind that just because she's gorgeous, it doesn't mean I should be afraid of her. And it doesn't mean she's perfect.

19:19 So the concept of girl is just the gender, bro. She's a female. Who cares? She's a human just like you. She's got that disgusting internal organs and pus and grease and disgustingness inside her body. She shit, she farts, she throws up. She's got horrible breath in the morning. She gets eye boogers just like you do. And what kind of person is she? Has she worked on herself? Probably not. Let's be completely honest. My hottest friends, it's not like they're listening to a podcast like this one.

19:49 They've pretty much got it made in the shade until their looks start to get ravaged and they're going to have a really abrupt wake-up call when that happens. And they'll have to work on themselves and that's their own dharma. That's their own thing they have to work through. But you get a super fine 25-year-old girl, dude, you've worked on yourself more than she has. And you know more about seduction than she does. You are probably funnier than she is. Your texting game is better. You understand frame control.

20:13 You've worked on yourself. And for those of you who have come into my program or who will come into my program, dude, you are so many levels above this chick. I can't even explain it to you. She can't even touch the championhood that you've reached. Because you invest in yourself, you work on yourself, you face your fears, you're a fucking man. And you're still giving this girl all this credit just because she was born attractive and she goes to the gym a couple of weeks and goes to Ulta to get some makeup.

20:37 Please, bro, please drop that shit. It's fucking ridiculous. And I hope I've been able to rationalize this to you guys. Stop giving girls so much credit. They're just human beings. So the next time you talk to a girl, focus on what's ugly about her. Focus on the fact that you've probably worked on yourself way more than she has and talk to her for what she is. A human fucking being who is struggling just like you are, who has hopes and dreams just like you do, and who isn't an angel just because she looks like one.

21:10 It's surface. It's like a Hollywood movie set. It's just all a facade. When you get back there, it's just cardboard and wood and dust and mice running around. And that's the way I want you to look at super attractive women. Now, I'm not saying that all attractive women are pieces of shit, haven't worked on themselves. I happen to be with an extremely attractive woman who works on herself endlessly. And she's a goddamn 10, in my opinion. But that's what makes her a 10 is that she works on herself.

21:37 And I feel like I'm a 10 too. So when I talk to a girl like that, I'm not intimidated by her because I know I'm on that level or even above that level. And that's the way I want you guys to think. So what's the secret? Keep working on yourself. Invest in yourself if you're able to. I strongly believe in that. And you know, I do. I'm not going to talk my way around it or lie. I really think you guys should come into my program. I strongly believe that.

21:57 Build yourself to the biggest champion you can be. And then when you first meet a girl, go in with the frame of you need to prove yourself to me just because you're fine. That doesn't mean you win with me. Let's see who you are. Then when you talk to that girl, you're not going to be so intimidated. If you have to, you could focus on something unattractive about her and kind of smirk to yourself, but also focus on getting to know her for her, not just because she's a beautiful face with the perfect body.

22:21 So I've been in your shoes, boys. I've been intimidated too. I know what it feels like, but let's stop being afraid of the concept of girl. It's just a human being, man, who shits and farts just like you, puts on her pants one leg at a time, fricking snores like a sailor when she's sleeping, right? Has the worst BO ever, has bad breath that can clear a room in the morning. Again, it's just a human. So that's the reframe that I wanted to offer you gentlemen today.

22:48 I hope you're able to benefit from it. As I always say, gentlemen, we are open to you. We want to meet you. Why wouldn't you come talk to us about our three month coaching program? If we can get you to the place where you can literally attract women at will, why wouldn't you explore that possibility? It just makes no sense to me. I'm getting a shit ton of applications. Don't get me wrong, but it makes no sense to me based on my downloads versus the amount of applications I get.

23:12 In my opinion, they should be equal. So if you haven't done it yet, let's go, dude. Get the fucking lead out. Apply to my program and let's talk. Gentlemen, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.