How to talk to girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a fucking man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, Mark Singh. And I'm John Anthony. And today we are going to talk about how to develop attraction in women during the first conversation. If you guys have listened to any of our podcasts, you'll know how fired up I am about this topic because this is what I teach. This is what I do specifically and this is what I love.

0:31 I love, I can't even express how much I love to approach a woman who has no interest in me. In fact, she's like kind of get the fuck out of here kind of vibe towards me. And then I actually turn her to where she's attracted to me and begging for my phone number. That to me is the pinnacle of seduction and it's the thing I love most. I love that most more than even having sex with a new girl. I don't know about you, John, but like that first 10, 15, whatever, one hour interaction.

1:01 I absolutely love it. I just, it's, it's so, it's so like addicting to me. That's why I just keep doing it over and over and over again and try to improve in doing it because it's like, it's, it's really amazing. And the good news is guys, is that you can get better at this. And most guys do the wrong thing when it comes to speaking to women, they have it completely backwards. So we're going to give you some awesome tips today. We're going to give you some real tactile techniques, tricks, and secrets that you can use to speak to women so that the next time you talk to a girl, she's going to be begging you for your phone number.

1:37 And, uh, we're going to start off with some of the basics. And I think the most basic thing, John, you'll probably agree with this is most guys go in and they try to build commonalities with girls and commonalities are commonalities are things like, where do you work? Where do you go to school? You know, what's your favorite band so that she, you're trying to like, you know, you're trying to get on common ground with her. But what guys who are good with women do is they go in and they actually break rapport and they have a playful vibe with her where they're kind of teasing her.

2:11 And a term that's used in the seduction community often is a cocky funny. And I think that's really accurate for the kind of vibe you want to go up and have with a girl is you're just kind of busting your chops a little bit. You're like two kids in the schoolyard and you're just having fun and you're making her laugh and you're teasing her and she's kind of like smacking your arm and, and, you know, you're doing push pull and you're doing all these techniques that generate emotions in her and emotions equal attraction.

2:39 So the very first tip we want to give you guys is to throw out your old notion of how to build rapport with somebody in the way that when you meet a new guy, yes, you want to build rapport. Hey bro, like where'd you go to school? Oh, you like football. So do I. But when it comes to women, you actually want to break rapport and have a playful vibe. And we're going to teach you how to do that coming up. Yeah. And, um, I think it's important to like guys don't realize like, so, you know, they think that building commonalities is the same thing as building attraction, uh, you know, making a woman attracted to you.

3:13 But I mean, just think about it. Like if, you know, if you're talking to some, some girl and she's just not attractive, you don't think she's attractive. It doesn't matter. Like if you both like the same fucking poem by Edgar Allen Poe, like she's just, it doesn't matter. Or like, you know, you're not going to be attracted to her. So when you're talking to a girl, like the biggest thing to focus on is just generating attraction. And you don't necessarily do that by building commonalities. And that doesn't mean that commonalities are bad per se.

3:41 I mean, it's nice to have commonalities because you have things to talk about, um, you know, that you both enjoy. And, you know, if you take things further and eventually, you know, start dating or you have things to do together, if you both enjoy the same band or the same activities, whatever. But when you're first starting off, uh, you know, building commonalities is about the last thing that you want to do. Yeah, absolutely. And if, uh, if a commonality does come up, you actually want to use that as the reason that you two wouldn't get along.

4:06 So for example, I, I actually brought this example up to, uh, um, to a console. I had the other day, one of my students. And I said, for example, you guys are in the car and it's raining and you guys are going to get pickup, pick up your food or something. And she's like, I hate the rain. And you'd be like, I hate the rain too. Instead of being like, I hate the rain too. High five. You'd be like, you know what? I hate the rain too.

4:29 And that's why we never get along because we'd be going to pick up the food. None of us would want to get out of the car. Then there would be this big food fight and I'd have to walk home with pickles stuck to my forehead. So what you're doing there is you're actually taking things that you have in common as the reason you wouldn't get along because it would be a competition between you two and you guys would get in a fight. So I always do that.

4:50 Anytime her and I have a commonality, like let's say she's really into scuba diving, which I'm really into as well. I'd be like, Oh, you are. That's too bad. And she'll be like, well, why do you hate scuba dive or something? And be like, no, like I'm actually really into scuba diving too. And it sucks because like we'd be down there and my era would last so much longer than you because naturally I'm so much more relaxed than you are. You go to the top, you get all butthurt.

5:13 We have this big fight and we'd never be able to get go scuba diving again. I'm sorry. We can't be friends anymore. So what you're doing there is you're actually using commonalities as to why you wouldn't get along. And that's a playful way, as I mentioned previously, you want to have this playful vibe and that's a playful way to get the attraction going by using commonalities to, you know, teaser a little bit and stuff like that. So, um, initially guys, what I want to do here is I want to kind of take you through the step by step process of approaching a girl, getting her attracted to you and then getting her phone number.

5:50 Now this process is, uh, delved into more specifically in my program, get the approach formula.com. You can go ahead and grab that program there. I'm going to get a little bit into it during this podcast, but if you want to really cut to the chase, get deep into this stuff and really understand how to attract a woman during the first conversation, you can just go to get the approach formula.com. I typically sell it for 33 bucks, but, um, since you're listening to this podcast, you can grab it for 10, just want to go ahead and get that plug in while I can.

6:23 And, and more specifically, this is based on 10,000 approaches of, of me and my team. And we've really broken it down into how to do this in a step-by-step way where you're going to sidestep rejection, get success, get her attracted to you and give yourself the best chance of her actually replying to your text when you send her the text or even to pull her home, uh, that very same day. So, uh, you can get that at get the approach formula.com. So initially what I always tell my students is you need to get social in all situations because when that hot girl comes along, you don't want to have been in your head the whole day, not talking to people, not being social, because when you are social and you are speaking to people all day, you get into what we call the flow and the flow.

7:09 You've all been there where it's like this social lubricant where you can just say funny shit, funny stuff's coming out of your head. You're not like in your mind, but you're in the present moment and you're just throwing funny shit out there. So the very first step for you is to get social with everybody. The, the, the chick at the Starbucks, the, the lady at the grocery store, somebody you meet at the gas station, whatever it is, you want to get social all the time so that you just get good at speaking to people.

7:37 Half the, half the skill of being good with women is simply being socially intelligent and knowing when to back off, when to talk more, what to say, what's getting a good reaction, what's getting a bad reaction so that you can read her and kind of lead her to where she wants to be led, which is what I always say. So initially guys, you want to get social and Don, John, did you want to add to that? No, I mean, you know, what you're saying is perfect.

8:02 It's, uh, you know, just when you're going out, literally just, you know, say hi to people. Uh, you know, if you go to Starbucks, say hi to the person who's running the cash register, you know, say, just talk to them, shoot the shit, make small talk. And, uh, you know, cause like for entrepreneurs, especially people that work from home, uh, or, you know, have their own office, their own place where they work, where they're kind of more isolated, it's very easy to get stuck in your head and in this like logical work mode.

8:26 But, um, you know, that's why a lot of the time it's like most people don't understand this. So if I asked someone, uh, you know, which, which one is harder to approach a six after you've just gotten off work or to go home with a 10 after you've been out partying for five hours. Well, approaching a six right after work is actually way fucking harder because people don't understand the power of social momentum, which is what you're talking about, Mark, because you know, when you've been working all day, you're stuck in your head, you're thinking about numbers and like, and these like fucking logical things, uh, you know, and so going out and like pulling out that spontaneity and that, that charm and like social side of your brain, which is by the way, that's the exact opposite side of your brain, right?

9:06 You're right. Your right brain is the social brain, quote, you know, to put it a really, really, uh, sort of, uh, bluntly or, uh, you know, to be really, uh, kind of unscientific about it. The right side of your brain is the sort of emotional, like social side and the left side is the analytical logical side. So when you're exercising your left brain all day, it's hard as fuck to switch over to the right brain, but you can make that process easier by just, you know, every time you see someone say, hi, what's up, how's it going?

9:32 You know, like everyone, uh, at the Starbucks I go to where I live, they, uh, they all know my name cause I just talk to them all the time. So little things like that can make a big difference. You know, it's, it's interesting because many times when we start out the podcast, I feel like I kind of stumble over my words. I feel like things aren't coming out as smoothly as they do when compared to like 30 minutes into the podcast. Do you feel that too? Yeah, exactly.

9:55 And even though it's momentum, it's social momentum. So like initially, like, even as I was just talking, it's like, it was like stuttery and like things trying to come out and no, this isn't, this isn't coming out right. So it's important to, to be social and get like the social lubricant going. That's what I call it. Just like talking to everybody. And then it's weird how like this deeper intelligence comes out. And especially when you've been speaking to girls the whole night by like 12 AM, man, like shit's coming out of my mouth and I'm like, Oh damn, I wish I was recording this.

10:28 Holy shit. Where'd that come from? It just, it just starts coming out of your mouth. And there's another technique that I teach. It's called staging. And what staging is, is letting the girl hear you speaking to other people before you actually open her. So this works really well in social environments, like even the supermarket, bookstores, day game. It's really good. So many times, because I'm confident, because I'm charismatic, and especially when I have my social lubricant going, I'll just be like bullshitting with anybody around the girl who I want to open.

11:02 She'll overhear me, see that I'm alpha, see that I'm phony. And then when I go open her, it's like, it's going to crack open because she's already attracted. She's already invested. So that's called staging. And again, it goes back to that all important concept of being social with everybody all the time. And look, I know a lot of you guys who listen to this are introverts because a lot of the guys who come to me for coaching are introverted. And it's really hard to be social.

11:27 But I'm going to tell you something right now. Social guys get laid. Those guys who get laid the most, who have the most sex, know how to be social. And look, I'm introverted as well. So if you have an excuse that says, well, sorry, Mark, like you're an extrovert. I'm an introvert. I can't do what you do. Bullshit. I am very introverted. Like after the podcast is done, man, I am smoked. After I go out, you know, talking to girls, I get a lot of like dopamine hits and I get a lot of adrenaline and serotonin while doing it.

11:57 But when I get home from a night of gaming, a night of teaching, even one-on-one coaching on the phone, I am absolutely annihilated. But it's the price I pay willingly to be able to get this skill set because when you can approach any girl you want, get her attracted to you, grab her number, or even like bring her home if you want to, you know, that skill set is worth millions of dollars and it's worth a small sacrifice. So if you're telling yourself, sorry, bro, I'm just, I'm just not social.

12:26 I'm just not good at this. Well, you can develop that. You could get better at it. And the way to get better at it is to just do it, man. Talk to, go talk to old grandmas at the nursing home, go volunteer at a hospital, go, go work at a, at a homeless shelter, go, you know, to a pre your, your niece's preschool. I don't know. Just talk to people, just get it going. Because if you're in your shell, you're never ever going to be able to meet that hot girl.

12:52 I'm sorry. You have to get good socially. And that the first step is to practice. Also one other thing, uh, public speaking, there's lots of public speaking courses. You can take at your college and Toastmasters is a group that they have in all the cities around the United States where you get really good at speaking publicly because public speaking is one of the most essential skills you can learn to get good with women. Yeah. Um, so I, I'd like to offer a quick mindset shift that really, really helped me, uh, change my attitude towards this.

13:23 And, and, uh, you know, cause I'm a natural introvert too, and I've always had trouble in a social situations, but one thing that, uh, I think is a really important mindset shift to internalize is there's generally two ways you can look at any sort of a social environment. You can approach it with the mindset of, uh, a collaborative frame or a combative frame. And most guys that are really introverted, that are nervous of social situations. If you actually take a deep look at yourself and how you feel and how you act in social situations, you'll see that you're coming from a combative frame.

13:54 So it's like, I'm competing with everyone. Everyone's against me. Don't say anything stupid. Like you're, you're competing with everyone. But if you just shift things over to having a more collaborative mindset where it's like, no, like I'm here, we're all fucking friends. We're all having fun, you know, and, and I'm just like doing things to have fun. And, you know, I want to, I want them to have fun and I want to, you know, vibe with people and have fun. And we're a group rather than, you know, individuals competing.

14:18 We're a group that is such an effective mindset shift that will just make things so much easier for you. God, that's so true. That's an amazing point. When I'm at the bars, I literally look at the bars as my party and all these people are guests at my party. I literally think that in my head. And when I go out to people, it's like, Hey, you guys having a good time? It has that slight tonality and that perspective shift where it's like, we're all a group here.

14:45 You, you guys are my guests. Let's have a great time. And, and when you open a girl, she can sense that in you that you're like the, you know, you're the MC, you're the master of ceremonies. You're the champion who's throwing this party for everybody. She should be privileged to talk to you. Yeah. And I like what you said about, uh, how there's a slight shift in your tonality too, because, um, you know, so there's, there's two general like approaches, no pun intended to approaching women.

15:09 Right. And just dealing with social situations in general. There's the idea that you can be a natural, which is where like everything you just naturally do, you know, like how we were saying towards the end of the night, you just say things that you never knew you could say. And everything just works out. And then there's a technique technique approach, right? So those are the two general approaches. And I like to use both. I think both are extremely valuable. Um, you know, but that's one thing that's interesting is like, so what I'll do is I'll use techniques to start off.

15:35 That's like when I first get out and I don't have any social momentum, I'll use all the techniques that I've learned and the, the pickup lines, the approaching, you know, the, uh, the openers, uh, you know, the, the whole, the, the formulas and the, um, frameworks to understand things. Um, cause that's a good way to like bridge the gap and get social momentum. But then once you get enough momentum, you can kind of rely on your natural instinct more. And so, um, I think that we should talk about that, Mark, the, uh, just kind of like some of these frameworks that guys use to, you know, that you can use to understand, uh, how to be better in a social situation, how to pick up girls.

16:08 Um, so one that I like is the, uh, the, the four step formula basically for picking up a girl. So there's the open, then there's the social hook point, there's the sexual hook point, and then there's a close and that's the, the, uh, the very classic, like typical PUA, uh, framework for understanding and approach, right? So there's the open and there's actually six types of openers that Mark and I can elaborate on. There's an opinion opener, a compliment opener, a functional opener, a direct opener and introductory opener and an observational opener.

16:37 And then, so you open her, you say your pickup line, open her. And then the next step is getting to the social hook point. And if you're really good, you can skip this, but most guys can at first, the social hook point is where she wants to engage with you socially, right? So it goes from you doing most of the carrying of the conversation towards her, you know, having like a 50, 50 split of talking with you. Then beyond that, there's the sexual hook point, which is where she becomes sexually invested and interested in you.

17:05 Then beyond that, there's the fourth, uh, point of this framework, which is the close where you go home and, and make out with her, fuck her, whatever. Um, so that's one thing to keep in mind too, is like, where are you in that framework when you approach a girl? Um, another thing that you can do is, uh, you know, try being congruent, right? So like there's a, there's so many different techniques and things we could talk about if you want, like the, the full deal, you'll have to get coaching with us, but, um, cause we can only say so much in, in one podcast, but, um, you know, uh, one thing I'll do is I'll be congruent, right?

17:36 And this goes very, uh, con, this is contradictory and it goes very contrary to what a lot of guys think. But if I go out and I'm in a shitty mood, I'll actually just be in a shitty mood because what happens is if you're like in a shitty mood and you go out and you try to hide it and you try to act positive and, and, and upbeat, uh, well, first of all, people are most likely going to sense that and they're going to send something's off and you're not being genuine and it's going to turn them off.

17:59 And second, even if you do get accepted for being that upbeat person, what you're basically training your subconscious mind to believe is that it's not okay for you to feel your feelings. And so, you know, you can like, I think Mark, you'll probably agree. One of the most powerful things that a guy can use to attract a woman and build longterm masculine polarity is to be congruent. Like you just say what you want to say, you're feeling what you're feeling, you are who you are. And that's attractive because it communicates that you're just a fucking man who isn't going to change himself for other people.

18:31 It communicates deep self-esteem, a deep sense of self-worth, and it's just very attractive. So that's another thing is being congruent. Um, out of the six openers, sorry, Mark, out of the, out of the six openers, um, you know, I like to do, uh, maybe like a, uh, an, uh, introductory opener sometimes or an observational opener opener. It, uh, it all depends on the situation, right? Cause like, that's another thing is, uh, you know, as you go through this process of learning game, you guys are going to learn a social calibration.

19:01 So, you know, in one situation, it might be weird to do a direct opener, you know? So a direct opener would be like where, you know, where you walk up and say, Hey, you're attractive. Uh, you know, I have to go real quick, but I just wanted to see if I could get your number. That's like a very direct opener. Um, and that might be fine in one situation, but if you're at like a fucking club where people regularly meet and, you know, at like a college where people regularly meet or something, that's probably not the best decision.

19:25 Cause it's way too direct. Um, you know, something else you can do that might be normal in that situation might be like an observational opener, which I actually love. Right. So that'd be like saying, um, you look like a Scorpio or, uh, you seem like a, like, I don't know, like you, uh, you're studying biology or something. Right. Cause then, you know, she's gonna be like, what, like, why do you think that? And then it's just a very easy way to start a conversation. Yeah, absolutely.

19:49 There, there's so many golden nuggets that you drop there. And certainly we want to circle back to the tactical, uh, techniques that John mentioned those openers, which coincidentally, most guys are just, every guy that I teach just wants openers, he wants like 200 openers that he can choose from. But what's interesting is once you get your, uh, calibration down and once you are congruent, like what John said, and you get your vibe correct, when you have that social flow, uh, you can literally say nothing, nothing at all to a girl.

20:19 Just go up to her and look at her and smile or point out her shoes. Like I said, in another podcast and shake your head. No. And she'll be like, why? Like what's wrong with my shoes? You know, um, you can get to the point where you can say very little. And John, I'm right there with you. I, I usually like the direct openers now and all these clever techniques that I've thought of. Um, I don't really use them that much anymore because the inner game is so solid and my state is so contagious.

20:47 Cause girls, here it is guys. You think it's the content that's going to get them, but it's your state because it's the law of state transference. Right. That right there is so fucking important. What you just said. Yeah, absolutely. So if you go over there and you're bringing her good feelings and this comes from within you, this doesn't come from your words. So when John said that you're incongruent, well, if you're feeling like shit and you're trying to pretend like you have good feelings, well, she's going to sense that because really she's sensing you on the emotional level.

21:16 So when you go over there and you have this state about you and you feel good and you're there to entertain yourself and just have a good time, you could really say nothing at all. You could say the stupidest things ever. I mean, I've gone up to girls and be like, Hey, um, I forgot to, forgot to tie my shoe. That's my opener. And she'll be like, Oh, really? Why are you like, you're silly. You know, and it's like, if I had the wrong, if I was incongruent with that, or if I just wasn't in state, as they say, it wouldn't open.

21:46 Right. I just get completely rejected. So it's really about what's going on inside of you because everybody, everybody wants to feel good. We all know that everybody wants to feel good. And we all want to be around people who feel good. Let me ask you this. Do you like people who smile a lot or do you like people who frown all the time? It's very obvious, but we like people who smile a lot because they feel good. And actually when you see somebody smiling, it releases serotonin in your brain.

22:12 So it's, it's actually good when you first approach a woman, just to have a nice smile on your face. It doesn't have to be shitting and grin, but just a nice smile, you know, very confident. God, there's so many. There is dude, there's a million things. And, uh, one, one that I, I just wanted to interject this cause I saw this thing on Twitter like a couple of days ago and it was the dumbest fucking thing that I've ever seen. It was some guy who was calling himself a pickup artist, like guru or whatever.

22:35 And he shared this fucking video of him talking about, and the title was why you shouldn't smile when you're talking to girls. And I want to talk about like how there's this really common misconception. The guys think you have to be some like smooth, suave James Bond. So you know what I'm talking about? Like you have to say the exact right thing and like, you can never smile and you always have to be dark and mysterious. And like, that's just fucking stupid. Like if someone walks up to you in real life and they're like, you know, like, like hello and they just act, try to act like you're just like, what are you like, what's like, fuck off?

23:03 Like, what are you doing? Like, you know, it's, it's just fucking weird. But like, that's an example of something that you guys should not fucking follow because like Mark and I are saying, like when you just are in a good mood and you feel the mood oozing out in your words, girls can feel it. Like you can, my number one opener is, Hey, just with a giant smile. Like, I'm not going to yell into the microphone, but like, like, Hey, like in a really good mood, just happy.

23:26 Yep. And, and their eyes just lock on you. Cause they're like, Oh my God, finally a guy who's like fucking bringing the good emotions and not trying to leech off of someone else, you know? Yeah. And that's what many guys go to do, right? They'll go into a set and they'll try to pull value from the girl. They'll try to just, and she just wants to get rid of them. Like, Hey, Hey, um, I'm, I'm Mark. What's your name? Uh, Jessica. Hey, Jessica, do you come here often?

23:50 And she's like, no, will you just go away? And then he's like, I have to go find my friends. Yeah. I got to go. And he's like, dude, what the fuck? And I understand, look, like nobody pulls us aside in ninth grade and teaches us the rules and it's really messed up. And I know a lot of you guys have had a lot of pain over this and, and some of you guys may be even bitter, enraged at women, but it's not their fault because, you know, and it's not your fault either because nobody taught us the rules and women can't skew the rules because their program, how their program, but their program around emotions are around state.

24:21 And you got to bring that to them. So the first tip for you is when you go to a bar, try to go with your friends. If you don't have friends, that's fine. Just get into a good mood. Now you don't have to be this spazzy clown, but you're just feeling good. Yeah. That's the opposite of going too far is being the overly spazzy clown. Exactly. You're feeling good. This is your party. This is your house. These are all your guests and you're going up to talk to her, to bring value, but you're not dependent on outcome.

24:48 You're not trying to get something from her. The only thing you're trying to get from her is entertaining yourself by having somebody to talk to. If it's her, that's fine. If it's some other chick, that's fine. You don't give a fuck. You do not give a fuck. Like you're just going, have fun. You'll say shit, random shit, and you'll kind of giggle to yourself. It's all about entertaining yourself, bringing a good state, and not trying to pull her into the outcome that you hope will manifest.

25:13 Again, I want to say that. Don't pull girls into the outcome that you hope will manifest. Let go. It's like the wind, right? The wind going by your hand. The second you try to grab it, you lose it. When you keep your hand open and let go, it's yours entirely. And it's the exact same thing with women. It's the exact same thing with opening. Yeah. And it's the exact same thing with life. It's being engaged and actively trying to do something, but not being so outcome dependent that you're like emotionally fucking freaking out if it doesn't happen or like, you know, you just don't want to be emotionally dependent on the outcome in general.

25:49 Right. So this is a really nuanced point, guys. But like whenever you're with a girl that you feel like you're a buff or that you feel like you can get or like you're not interested in, keep note of how you talk and behave around her. Like most likely, you're probably just saying things that like you want to say. You're just saying things that you're interested in that like you think you're not like there's no game, right? You're just being yourself. But then when you're around a girl who you feel like is really hot, who you feel like you can't really get, what do you try to do?

26:16 You try to think of things to say that will impress her, get her attention, make her attracted. And that's the fucking difference is it's the place that it's coming from. Right. So while Mark and I are huge proponents of teaching techniques and lines because they're really important and they're really helpful when you're just starting, they're really helpful when you're in a bad mood and you want to try to gain some social momentum. They're super fucking helpful. You have to understand that ultimately the goal is you want to build an underlying sort of masculine polarity, which is just feeling good, being grounded in who you are.

26:46 And it just attracts women like nothing you've ever seen. Yeah. And it's like, so the techniques are really the training wheels. And when you get good, you pop off those training wheels and you do as John just said. Now we understand if you're listening to this, especially if you're a beginner, you're like, well, what are these guys saying? It doesn't really make sense, but it's like all things in mastery, right? It doesn't make sense until you actually experience it. So just keep that in mind. What we really want to give you is some basic concepts.

27:13 Have fun, bring good energy. Don't be outcome dependent. Don't try to pull her into any expectation. Be willing to let go at any time. Do not build rapport. I want to say that again. Don't fricking ask those questions. What religion are you? What school do you go to? You don't fucking care. Your friend tells me, this is what I say to a lot of girls. I'm like, hey, you're in college, right? She'll be like, yeah. I'd be like, yeah. Your friend tells me you're in college to become an ice cream man.

27:39 How's that going for you? That's a good way to, if she's in college, that's a really funny way to tease her. And she'll be like, an ice cream man, like screw you. And be like, no, that's cool. It's cool. I really like mint chocolate chip. So what time are you making your round tomorrow? I'm going to be there. You have to bring me a bucket of mint chocolate chip. You'll see how that's like way more flirtatious, way more fun for her to engage in. She wants to have fun, bro.

28:02 She doesn't want to talk to you about school. She doesn't want to talk to you about her work. She's at the bar to avoid talking about that shit. So talk about fun things. And again, in my program, Get the Approach Formula, which by the way, on the back end of that, you can get The Conversation Sniper, which is my personal favorite book I've ever written. You'll get tons of these funny lines to say to girls to not only keep the conversation going, but to get her laughing because she wants to laugh.

28:26 She wants to flirt. She wants to feel these emotions. She's desperately looking for a guy who can bring these emotions out of her. And luckily for you, 99% of guys can't do it. And when you have Get the Approach Formula and The Conversation Sniper in your back pocket, you'll be able to throw out this funny shit and really be able to cultivate this all-important vibe that we keep talking about to get her attracted to you. And that's why, again, techniques are the training wheels. But once you get that vibe going about you, again, you can say anything.

28:58 You can say, do you like weather? And she'll just start laughing. She'll start cracking up. That's so true, dude. It's so true. You can say the dumbest fucking shit. And if you're in the zone, it literally does not fucking matter what you say. Because it's all like you're just saying it because you think it's fucking hilarious. And that's what it comes down to is self-amusement. Just saying things that you think are fucking funny. Like one guy that's really good at this is Julian Blanc, who I've actually met in person.

29:30 And when this guy goes out, he actually took it really fucking far, which is why there was a gigantic media fiasco about him. But guys like him and the guys that are fucking good at this, you just go out and you just like – the world is like your fucking little puppet place where you just like fuck around and have fun. It's like your giant playground. Like you go up to girls and it gets to the point where like it's too easy to use like the good openers and stuff.

29:54 So you say dumb shit just because like you want to see what's going to happen. Like when you get in that mindset – and don't fucking try this, please, if you're a newbie because you're going to end up saying like some weird shit and get smacked in the face or something. But – and I'm speaking from personal experience there. But when you get really good, like you just say whatever the fuck you want and it's just the underlying vibe. It's the place that it's coming from.

30:15 That's the most important thing and I love what you said. Look at the world as your own playground. I think that's genius. I think that's absolutely genius. So look at it that way, guys. OK, so let's get into some tactics here. So initially, guys, especially for you beginners out there, some of you are. Some of you are more experienced. But what I always suggest is to open and then eject initially. So what you want to do is just open her real quick. One thing I suggest to my students is to just ask for directions.

30:43 Now, this is like I am terrified of getting rejected and I'm so scared of women. I've been rejected and ostracized and I'm trembling. Just ask them for directions. Hey, where's the Starbucks? Or hey, do you know where this is? Real easy. And then you go, OK, thanks. And you do that for like a week, right? You just – you have missions. You give yourself this mission. I'm going to open five girls for a week. And you can push it a little bit further. So you can say – you see a girl walking with a Starbucks cup, let's say.

31:12 And you'll be like, hey, where's the Starbucks around here? She'll be like, oh, it's over here. It's over there, whatever. And you can be like, what is that? What are you drinking there? So now you're making an observation like what John said or you're asking a question. And she'll be like, oh, it's a grand latte, cappuccino, frappuccino. I don't know. I don't drink coffee. So whatever it is. You'll be like, oh, that's exactly what I want to get. If I snag that from you right now and took off running, would you chase me?

31:37 And then you can bring that into a funny conversation with her and she'll be like, hell yeah, I'd chase you. I'd probably catch you too. And you'll be like, yeah, you look pretty fast. I'm not going to lie. But see that fence right there? I'd be over that fence and gone. So suddenly you're in this like playful conversation. Again, like two kids in the schoolyard. One really good thing to do is like I bet I'm better at this than you are or I bet I'm – that's it.

32:02 I bet I could beat you at this. That's a cute little thing that you just do with girls and I do it all the time and it's like they love it because it's like playful. So again, open and eject whatever you're comfortable with because we want to get you to the point where you're super comfortable opening because you've had good experiences opening. And a good experience opening is she answers your question and then you stop the conversation. Hey, thanks. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Yeah. Then what you do is you push it a little bit further.

32:29 I bet I'd be over that fence and you'd be gone. She'd be like, no, I wouldn't. You'd be like, yeah, I wouldn't. Anyway, I got to get going. See you. And you're like, damn, I kind of feel good. Like I got a good reaction out of her. Then you push it a little bit further, a little bit further. And again, in my programs, I give you all kinds of conversational substance to like get her engaged. There's push-pull. There's reverse cold reading debate qualification. There's role-playing. There's storytelling.

32:54 All kinds of shit that you can do to really get her engaged. And then I also teach you how to grab the phone number, which is a technique in itself. But just keep this in mind for now. Open and eject. You don't have to do the whole mission right up front because then you could potentially be setting yourself up for failure. Yeah. And another good tip too is like if you ever – so like Mark and I were talking about, there's all these questions that typically get asked during a conversation when a guy is talking to a girl.

33:21 Like what do you do? Where do you – like all that shit. Instead of asking a question, just try reframing it into like an observation. So like if you want to ask, what do you do? Just say like instead like, oh, you look like a lawyer or you look like you're like a doctor or something. Or an ice creamer. Or you look like a fucking – a prostitute. Don't say that. Dude, I'm saying that. I'm saying that next time. No, I'm not. That's not good. Like when you just reframe it like that, it's so much more entertaining because it's like – it's not just like, oh, like what do you do?

33:54 I do X. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Like it's like – like you look like X and she's like, what? Why? What do you think that? And you're like, oh, like because this or that or because you look like a really fucking like hardcore bitch I wouldn't want to mess with or something. Or you look like a fucking – I don't know, really like caring like – like you're that girl that adopts all the fucking animals because your maternal instinct is so strong but you're not a kid or just something.

34:15 Just like blah, blah, blah, just like – yeah, just like fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just like let it pour out, you know? And another thing too is like lower the bar for what you think is acceptable to say. Especially with the hot girls. Especially with the hot girls. That one was like super big for me is like a lot of time guys think they have to have some fucking like brilliant thing to say. But what you want to do is reframe it. So it's not necessarily what you're saying that's brilliant.

34:40 It's that it's brilliant because it comes from you. Like just lower the bar, you know? And when you lower the bar, you'll find that you're so much more laid back. You can just talk and not be worried. You'll say this stupid shit that's just funny and that she fucking likes because you're in a good mood when you say it and it attracts her. So just lower the bar for what you think is acceptable to say. What's interesting too is guys – this is going to blow your mind.

35:04 Sevens and eights are actually harder to deal with than nines and tens. And the reason is is because nines and tens are always getting dudes who are so afraid and so beta and saying the stupidest shit. They like can't even say anything correctly that when you just throw shit out there and one important thing is to not care what happens. That's really important with the hot girl. Not care what happens. She will laugh at the stupidest shit you've ever said. They are so much easier to close than especially sevens.

35:33 Sevens are actually the hardest ones because guys think sevens are safe so they're always approaching them. So the game that sevens have, the ability to frame – test your frame, do certain things where they like challenge you is pretty extraordinary sometimes and I actually like talking to girls. I actually like it when girls challenge me now. That's what gets my attraction. If they're too easy and they're just laughing at every stupid thing I do, it's almost like too easy and it's like, dude, you have no personality.

36:02 And a lot of hot girls will definitely fall into that category. And before we started the podcast, John and I were talking about how the perfect girl is the girl who is fat in high school and college because then she developed her personality and then she lost all her weight. And coincidentally, my girlfriend was kind of one of those. She went skinny but she was fat for a little while and she's got the best personality of any girl I've ever dated. She literally makes me laugh.

36:30 I've never had a girl make me laugh the way my boys can. Have you ever had a girl like that, John, who could actually make you laugh? Um, not probably not. No, this is so rare because like women don't have to develop it. Like men, men, it's always men. Dude, she's, she's funny. And, and I was telling John, I was like, yeah, cause I think, I think she was fat for a while. And when you have like a fat girl, she has to really develop that personality and then she gets skinny and she gets hot.

36:57 She doesn't have that, you know, um, that like self. Bit shield. Bit shield, that narcissistic complex that so many hot girls have. Cause guys, hot girls live in a completely different reality than you could even, you could even believe. Like some of the shit, like when you start getting really hot girls, you, you start to see some stuff that happens to them. I mean, they get flown to different countries. They get free everything. Everybody gives them the benefit of the doubt. Now I'm not saying their life is easier because there's a lot of bullshit.

37:27 They have to deal with a lot of bullshit. Actually, I think being a hot girl is probably one of the hardest things that can happen to you as a human being, but they get so much free stuff that they just have a totally different perception of reality. So when you go up and you don't give a shit and you're just there to self entertain, you get massive attraction from hot girls. So if you can just kind of like mind fuck yourself to get over their attractiveness and sometimes I'll even picture them as a fat girl, um, or like I'll picture them with my cum all over their face.

37:56 Like I just did them and it's no big deal. Then it's like, you're going to get their attraction within just a few seconds because they're like, Whoa, this guy is actually, he's not afraid of me. Just that alone is extremely attractive. So, um, that's kind of a mindset shift for you guys to kind of start thinking about that hotter girls are actually easier than the sevens and the eights. Yeah. And this is kind of where like the game outside of the game comes in. So like a lot of game isn't even game itself.

38:26 Like a lot of game is just building a life that you enjoy, that you're happy with. So when you go to the club or when you go talk to a girl, she senses that you're fucking happy and content with who you are and what you have. And you're not trying to impress her or get anything from her. You're not a little fucking leech trying to weasel your way into her good emotions. You're just happy, you know? So that's like the game outside of the game is like, fill your life with cool shit.

38:49 Have a job that you like, have friends that you like, have hobbies that you like, do stuff that you like. So, you know, there's, there's so many angles that we could approach this from, Mark. Cause like, I mean, you know, there's like, there's not only game, but then there's, you know, there's outer game, inner game. And then there's the whole game outside the game. Yeah. Let's try to, I know they really want technique. So we were talking about some openers. So did you, did you have a couple of openers you wanted to give them?

39:14 Yeah. Yeah. So like I said, there's six types of openers. Uh, there's opinion, compliment, functional, direct, introductory, and observational. Opinion is like the classic PUA opener. Like who do you think cheats more girls or guys? I've heard that since the 1900s. Yeah. Dude. Since the 1990s, fucking RSD, RSD, uh, Tyler Durden. And, uh, yeah. So there's, there's those asking opinions. Um, then there's compliments, which, uh, if you're a newbie, I don't recommend you do. Cause it just comes off as needy, but a compliment, like a good compliment coming from the right place can be very strong.

39:48 Uh, so if you're, you know, if you say something just like, Hey, I really like your dress or something, whatever that's a compliment, make it non-typical compliment. So yeah, something she doesn't hear all the time. Yeah. So like, uh, what I do is I'll like, say I really like your, your dress is stunning because, and then like, like note something else. Cause like girls put in a ton of fucking effort, especially hot girls to like match things. Yeah. Matching. You know, so like it, it, it matches your, your nail polish color or like, I like how your, your jewelry matches your shoes, like whatever it is.

40:13 Yeah. Um, cause like, yeah. Like when you notice that, like, first of all, they'll be like, okay, like this is a guy who probably talks to a lot of girls cause he understands the work they put into their appearance. He probably, he's dated a bunch of girls. And, uh, second, if you say it coming from the right place, it's very attractive. Cause it's like, you're unabashedly, you're just not ashamed of your attractiveness to her, of your attraction to her. Um, third is functional. So that's kind of like, uh, what Mark is talking about where it's, we were talking about before where it's like, where's the nearest Starbucks.

40:38 Like it's, it's all for a function, for a purpose. Uh, can I borrow your phone to call someone? Like what time is it? Et cetera. And then there's direct, which is just, Hey, I think you're hot. Let's fuck. Not like that, but you know, um, and then there's introductory, which is, you know, Hey, my name is Joe. Like, dah, dah, dah. My name is John. My name is fucking Mark. My name is Mickey Mouse. My name is, is Bob Dylan, whatever. Whenever, by the way, real quick, sorry to interrupt.

41:02 Whenever they ask me their name, I always say like some name that couldn't possibly be my name. Like Yusuke Matsumoto or like Deontay Brown or something like that. And then they all laugh. That's what I was actually going to say too. It was funny enough. We're thinking the same thing is, uh, like, I'll say like, like Frodo Baggins or something like that. Something fucking stupid. My name is Beowulf. Admiral, Admiral Nimitz. Nice to meet you. Admiral, Admiral, Admiral Crunch. Um, and then an observational is, uh, like I, I, I really like observational, uh, openers cause they're just very like easy to pull off and, uh, they're super easy to do too.

41:39 So like, like I said, any question that you typically ask, what college do you go to? Are you fucking, how old are you? Da, da, da. What do you do? Just turn into an observation, right? So like one that, uh, I like, I really like to do is like saying you look like a Scorpio or like insert astrological sign here. Cause, uh, first of all, a, every bitch fucking loves astrology and B, uh, it's going to like, obviously like send off a ton of fucking, uh, like emotional triggers in her head.

42:03 Cause she's like, what? Like, why? Like, is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? Like it just sets off so many emotions. So, um, those are the six types of openers and, um, you know, you can find a lot of information on our websites, masculinedevelopment.com. Um, we'll talk more about that later, but yeah, you know, there's, there's tons of openers you guys can use. Yeah, I got, I'll give you a few. Um, recently I'll go up to girls and like girls that are kind of in front of me, I'll go up and I'll tap them on the shoulder.

42:28 I'll be like, Hey, um, and, and listen to my voice to you guys as I'm saying this, cause this is exactly the tone. Um, one little precursor I want to say to this is when I talk to girls, I imagine like I'm talking to an 11 year old girl. Now that's not to be condescending at all. It's just a slight tone in your voice that communicates that you're the higher power, like you're the authority and she's just a little girl, right? You're not taking her too seriously.

42:54 Not taking her too seriously. Yeah. And one way to do that, a quick tip for you guys is when you speak to women, women or anybody for that matter, imagine a cop asking you for your license and registration. So I'm going to do two examples here, John, and you tell me which one's the authority license and registration, please license and registration. Obviously the second, right? So what you want to do is when you say something, you want to have a downward intonation at the end of your last word.

43:20 So when you speak to women, make sure you don't go up like, Hey, what's your name? Hey, what's your name? You see that difference there? So I'll go up to a girl and be like, Hey, I just want to let you know, you are so unbelievably in my way. Would you mind moving aside, please? And she'll just, they just explode laughing and she'll be like, you're in my way. And then boom, you got that like playful, that playful vibe going. Sometimes I'll go up, I'll be like, Hey, I walked by you on two different occasions and I noticed you didn't grab my ass.

43:53 What's going on with that? And, and she'll just be like, well, you try to grab my ass. So those are, those are two good openers. An opinion opener, which I frankly don't use often anymore, but I do teach this to my students while out at bars is, Hey, um, let me get your, let me get your opinion on something real quick. So my friend who's a girl, she was supposed to come out tonight, but her boyfriend wouldn't let her come out. And what's really messed up about it is that he came out and he made her stay home.

44:21 That's pretty messed up, huh? And what you're doing there is getting her all fired up about, you know, relationship type issues. This guy is like pulling power over her, making her stay home while he goes out. And she's going to get all fired up and be like, yeah, if a guy ever ball and chain me like that, I would like, you know, break up with him immediately. He'd be like, damn, stand down, Sergeant Hader, like relax a little bit. I know she's kind of getting fired up about this.

44:44 Um, that's one really good opener. But like John said recently, I'll, I'll, I'll just say like, Hey, who are you? Hey, come here. Who are you? Like that? It's just, uh, because the, the frame and the tonality in my energy is, is so on point that they'll just start kind of like explaining themselves to me. But those are a couple of good openers. And again, you can, you can grab more, um, out of my program and the conversation sniper, especially there's tons of good shit to say in there.

45:10 So, uh, just a couple of examples. Definitely. And, um, real quick, if you want to really develop that masculine vibe that we've been talking about so much, where you just naturally attract women because of how you're feeling and the polarity that you're giving off, uh, check out my seven strategies to develop your masculinity. I'll put a link down below. We'll talk more about it at the end, but that's a really, really great program that I've put together for guys who want to really quickly just instantly 10 X their attractiveness to women, uh, become more grounded, more masculine, more assertive, dominant.

45:41 Just give all those signs off that women are attracted to. Good plug. I like that book a lot. I just went through it the other day and I was like, man, that's good shit. So I definitely suggest that. And obviously on this topic, um, any of my, any of my, uh, products as well. So let's continue forward. Okay. So let's say you've opened her, you guys are talking a couple of things you can say to build attraction. You might want to write these down. Uh, one really good thing to say is, um, you know, you do, you do something that's so cute, but I don't want to tell you what it is.

46:13 Cause then you'll stop doing it. So they will chase after you like tomorrow. And another thing I say in that vein is, um, you know, I've been talking to you for a few minutes here and it's, there's so many good things about you and just a couple bad. And she'll be like, well, what's the bad? You'd be like, why are you only focusing on the bad? Don't you know that nine out of 10 African children die every two minutes? Why are you being so damn negative, Captain Negatron?

46:39 And she'll laugh and be like, well, cause I just want to know the bad. And then you can get her to chase you. And, um, another thing I do is called reverse cold reading to bait qualification. This is an extremely powerful technique to get her to qualify herself to you. Now qualifying herself to you is where she's trying to live up to your expectations. She's trying to, uh, show you how great she is. And, and that's one of the ways you can tell that a girl is starting to get attracted to you is when you bait her qualification and she goes for it and she starts explaining herself to you.

47:10 Um, then, you know, she's getting attracted. So one good way to do that is, uh, is just qualifying questions like, Hey, um, I really like, I love girls who cook. You can't cook. Can you should be like, yes, I can, I can make this and this. And little does she know, she's, she's like explaining herself to you and unconsciously she's getting more attracted to you. So you can bait qualification. Now, reverse cold reading to bait qualification is first you want to notice something about her that you believe is true.

47:37 So let's say for example, she's carrying a hippie type of purse and you conclude that she's not materialistic and maybe she even makes her own, her own jewelry. Like you'll see a lot of girls, especially who are like in their twenties, early twenties who like make their own jewelry and shit like that. So you can say you don't like the opposite of what presuming, what you're presuming she is. So again, you say that you don't like the opposite of what you're presuming she is. For example, you could say, you know, I just got off the phone with my friend and he's saying that his girlfriend is asking him for a super expensive Louis Vuitton ring for her birthday.

48:14 I don't know. I just don't really like girls that are materialistic like that. You know, I really like it when kind of girls can like, just like make their own jewelry. Or you don't even have to say that you just be like, I don't like girls that are materialistic like that. What is she going to do? She's going to be like, Oh, I'm not, I'm not materialistic like that. For example, I just made my own purse. Look, I just made this myself. And you'd be like, really?

48:34 You just made that? So what you're doing is you're baiting her into qualifying herself to you by observing something about her. You're 90% sure is true. And then you say you don't like the opposite of that. And again, that's important. You say you don't like the opposite of it. Bam. You bait her qualification and now she's trying to work for your attention and unconsciously she's getting more attracted to you because of it. That's really good, actually. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, like, like you bring up. So the underlying thing to kind of focus on too is like, what's the frame of the conversation?

49:07 Because everything here that like the best frame is like Mark said, basically, she's trying to chase your qualification. She's trying to qualify herself to you. She's chasing your validation. And that's always how you want to frame it. So if you can like figure out these little ways to kind of just, you know, use these techniques and have a strong masculine polarity that gets her qualifying herself to you, then that's ultimately the best way to do it by far. Far too often, guys approach it like the exact opposite way too, where it's like they try to qualify themselves to the girl, where they're like, you know, hey, like I make all this money.

49:40 I'm like, look at me. Like, do you see my fucking six pack or whatever? Like, do you see, like I have this really cool car, like, but that just doesn't work because it communicates that you don't feel like you're enough as you are, you know, and it's just very, very supplicating, very low value, and it's just not attractive. And so most guys should actually be doing the opposite of what their natural instinct is to do, is to try to impress a girl, is they should try to get her to impress them, right?

50:04 Switch the script, flip the frame. I like that. That's pretty profound. Just do the opposite of what your instinct is. You know what I mean? Literally. It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode. I don't know. I'm a bit older, so I used to watch Seinfeld, but where George Costanza, he starts doing the opposite of all his instincts, and then everything starts going right for him. Like, he gets the job, he gets the girl, he gets everything, and he's like, what would the opposite would I do?

50:30 And then he does it, and it always works out for him. So I think that's kind of true when it comes to guys because, again, we're not taught the rules, and that's why it can be so frustrating for you guys because you think you're doing something right, but what you're doing is you're making friends. And that's why so many guys get stuck in the friend zone is because they're doing things, building rapport, complimenting, buying drinks for girls. That's what you do for a friend. You don't do that for a girl you want to get attracted to you, and it's counterintuitive.

50:59 It's not your fault, dude. Don't feel bad. Shit. I was there too, man. I mean, I could sit here for the next hour telling you stories of my early 20s when I got blown out so much, like my pants blew off of my legs when the concussion hit. That's how big the bomb was when I would get blown out so much because, dude, I didn't know what I was doing, so I studied it. I learned it, and now it's like it makes sense to me, and I dare say I even have some instinct for it because it just makes sense, and that's why I love it so much because it's one of those things that's complicated and difficult, but once you get it, it's so unbelievably fun.

51:33 And let's be honest, if you're listening to this right now, especially 49, 50 minutes in, you're obviously interested in this stuff, and you obviously want to improve, so here's the reward for you, man. Anything that's challenging is worth it because once you get it down, there is nothing like it. There is nothing like this ability, and it gets me so high that I still do it every Thursday night. I still go out, and I talk to girls just to keep my chops up. I do have a girlfriend who I love very much, and she's fucking amazing, and that's the other side benefit.

52:04 Once you get good with girls in general, you can land one of these super hot, super high quality, super funny, super fun to be with girls that John and I both know you want, and frankly, you deserve. Exactly. So take the time to get good at this. Take the time to learn how to speak to women, to get them attracted to you because once you're able to do that, it's over, man. It's over. I mean, yeah, you need to do the first date. There's a bunch of texting and all this other shit, and by the way, we're going to release a program which we're super fired up about.

52:35 Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Oh, dude. John and I are teaming up. Plug that shit. Dude, this thing is the mother of all seduction programs, and it's going to be like nothing you've ever seen before because it's going to be a home boot camp, and we're going to give you missions, and we're going to give you tons of information, and we're actually going to give you access to us where we answer your questions in real time. We text girls for you. Dude, I'm so fired up about this, man.

52:59 It's going to be amazing, but anyway, once you get this first conversation down, you are like leaps and bounds ahead of the competition. Then we just need to get your first dates all dialed in, how to get physical with a girl, how to blow her mind in the bedroom. There's a lot of things that you need to learn, but bro, once you get this down, then it's like you got your choice. You got your choice of women, and like John always says, women are a microcosm of the universe, and you can do business, you can do negotiations, you can do anything you want once you get this down.

53:28 So I respect that you've invested this much time into yourself because you know, just as me and John do, that it's worth it. Yeah. And so that's the thing too that guys need to keep in mind is like getting good with women is a skill set. Like it is a skill set. It's something that you can learn. Like it's, you know, so many people just think that like, okay, so this is the mainstream consciousness perspective on it. You're just born and you know, you've got what you've got.

53:53 Maybe you're tall and attractive. Maybe you're not. And if you're not, then you're just fucked and you can't get a pretty girl. No girl's ever going to watch you except maybe like little fat Susie and you're just going to have a shitty job and you're fucking fucked, right? That's like the mainstream consciousness perspective, but you're fucked. But the reality is that as a man, you can actually learn things like this that will, make you better. You can improve your attractiveness. You can become better. You can learn how to start a business, make money, anything in life.

54:19 Like there's so much upward mobility for men, especially for men. Like this is all a skill set. You can learn how to do it. So if you have a problem with women, you don't have to just like sit around and always have that problem. You can fucking fix it. And that's like the big thing, you know? And a lot of time guys, they're like, oh, how do I get my ex-girlfriend back? How do I get this girl back? Like, how do I get this particular girl?

54:41 Like, no, no, no. Focus on the skill set. Like just get good with women in general, right? It's like, you know, it's like if someone who's never played baseball in his life and he asked me like, how do I play this one game against the fucking, I don't know, the Cardinals and, you know, do a fucking home run on the fucking fourth inning. It's like, okay, like you just get good at baseball in general. There's no like, like I'm going to be like, oh, like you do like, no, like you just get good at it in general.

55:05 And then those things will happen. Right. Same with women. Like just get good at opening, get good at closing them, get good at talking to them, flirting with them and then you'll naturally have a bunch of women that are into you and you can choose the one that you like the most. Yeah, exactly. You choose. That's what I always say to my students. Do you want to choose or be chosen? Because I'll tell you what, most guys are chosen. They get chosen by a girl. Ah, she's, she's good enough, I guess.

55:27 And then they get married and they're just bummed the rest of their life. They have to like have sex with this girl. They don't even want, fuck that, fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. God, I'm fired up. Fuck that, dude. Fuck that shit, dude. No way. So I want to give you guys a couple more little techniques here. I know you guys love techniques. So most guys, the thing that frustrates them the most is when they're talking to a girl and they run out of things to talk about.

55:50 So write down these couple of questions. By the way, in my book, The Conversation Sniper, which is an upsell for the approach formula, you can grab it if you get the approach formula, I give you probably about 150 of these lines to keep the conversation going, to get her cracking up. But here's a couple of good ones. So if the conversation dies, you could ask her, hey, I was just thinking about this. If you could put up a billboard, what would it say on it? For everybody to see, what would it say on it?

56:16 That's a great way for get her to continue talking. If you could do anything without any chance of failure, what would it be? Man, if somebody asked me that, I would go on and on forever. If you had $90 million, what would you do with your life? What's your earliest memory? And if you could get on a plane right now and travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? So what you're doing there is you're getting her to imagine things. You're getting emotions out of her.

56:44 You're making her feel good. And you're giving her conversational substance for her to seek her teeth into because that's what she wants. She wants a fun conversation. And it's not your fault, dude. Again, you don't know what to freaking say. It sucks. We've all been there. Super hot girl. You get her laughing. You get her going. You got a good opener. You're getting the attraction. And then the conversation just dies. And she's like, well, it was good to meet you. Bye. And you're like, but I.

57:12 You know, and you're just freaking bummed because she walks out of your life. So with the conversation sniper in your back pocket, that's never going to happen to you again. But those are some good questions. And that's the way you need to think about that first conversation is have it be, you know, emotionally engaging. You don't want to get like super serious, although there is a time and a place for that. And actually, sometimes I will do that with girls in the first conversation. I get a little bit philosophical just to show her that I'm an intelligent guy and I can, you know, speak to her on a deeper level, which is attractive to women.

57:44 But really, again, you want to be playful. You want to tease her. You want to get those emotions going out of her. And again, you don't care what happens. I cannot express how important that is. That's really fucking important. And one thing, too, is like when you first start doing this, you'll have to calibrate a lot just to like make it natural. But one thing that happens, a common thing that happens just because I know because it's happened to me and other guys that I coach is, you know, if you get a girl asking or saying, I can't tell if you're serious or not, if she asks that a lot or if a lot of girls ask you that.

58:14 That means that you need to dial down a bit on the playfulness and the jokes, right? So like it's about striking a balance between like quote-unquote normal conversation with like emotional spikes, right? So that's like one way to think of it is like what you don't want is the emotional flat line where it's just nothing. What you want is like an emotional spike up, an emotional spike down, like this – like a heart monitor, right? Like you want to trigger emotions and the more emotions that you can trigger in a girl, the better, generally speaking.

58:42 Yeah, and that's true. You don't want to be like upbeat the whole time. You don't want to be down the whole time but a little mix of both. And one good way is to tell stories, get her on an emotional roller coaster. I have some really good stories and I actually go through how to do storytelling in the boot camp that we're going to be releasing in the video part of the boot camp. And we give some really good advice about how to tell stories to take her on this emotional roller coaster.

59:09 And we really help you go through your life, pick out these super interesting stories, and we tell you how to insert them into your conversation. So that not only are you taking her through this emotional roller coaster that's so important, but you're buying that all-important time that guys feel like, dude, I only have like five minutes of material and I'm going to need like way more. Well, in our boot camp, we're going to give you just an absolute vault full of chick crack and gambits and all this shit that you're going to have so much to work with.

59:40 You're going to be like – she's going to be like, well, I got to go. You'll be like, no, no, I have another hour worth of content. She's talking to me here. But that's how much shit we're going to get you. So again though, like storytelling, it is super important to get those emotions up and down like John was saying because look at girls. What are girls like? They like literotica. They like soap operas. They like these things where emotions are engaged. That's all girls are about is emotions.

1:00:06 They're about relationships and stuff like that. So you need to get her on that channel because that's where attraction lies. The beast of attraction lies in her emotion. Absolutely. Yeah. That's this entire conversation in one fucking sentence. Thank you. You're done. Dude, how long have we been talking? It feels like three minutes here. An hour. An hour. Almost exactly. Damn. You want to wrap it up then? Yeah. I feel like we gave you some stuff but there's so much more. So you can grab our programs, gettheapproachformula.com or you can go to masculinedevelopment.com and John's product is Seven Strategies.

1:00:43 And again, guys, stay tuned for the home boot camp. That thing is going to be – oh my god. That's going to be my masterwork. Like what's going to happen, bro, is we're going to release it and then I'll die in a plane crash and they'll be like, well, his masterwork was released. And then we'll live on through his final piece. I'll live on. Live on through the – yeah. I don't know if we want to say the name yet but – No, we haven't decided.

1:01:07 We haven't decided yet but home boot camp is part of it because it's going to be an at-home study course. Yeah. It's going to be fucking awesome. I'm pretty psyched. I'm super fired up. So anyway, guys, we appreciate you listening. Check out our courses. If you have any questions, you can let us know. John, do you have anything you want to say to wrap it up? Yeah, I mean if you want to use Mark's course in conjunction with my course, so use gettheapproachformula.com. Go there, get Mark's course, and that will teach you the exact techniques that you need to use to generate attraction, to just open a girl really effectively.

1:01:39 And then if you combine that with seven strategies to develop your masculinity, which gives you a strong masculine vibe, which creates a natural attraction between women and you, if you use those two things together, you will be un-fucking-stoppable. So check both of our things out. There is going to be a ton of links down below in the description. And yeah, as always, we will see you guys next time. Thanks a lot for your time, guys. We do appreciate it. And remember, flies spread disease, so keep yours closed.

1:02:09 See ya.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.