Wingman 101: How to Attract Exponentially More Women With Your Friends

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Uniform Mike Papa. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about that all-important concept of winging, how to work with a wingman, and perhaps more importantly, how to work with a wingwoman, both of which I'm going to explain to you today. I know a lot of you guys go out with your friends.

0:38 I know you're trying to figure out how to work in a tandem pair without looking like a couple of lions attacking a gazelle and freaking women out. So I'm going to tell you what works excellent for me and my friends, what we found to be the absolute most effective strategies so that when you go out, either in day game or even in the nightclubs and the bars, you guys can have the greatest success. Before I get started, I want to let you know that my coaching offer is a little bit backed up.

1:03 I'm up to a 10-week waiting list now. The orders just keep coming in. All you champions keep hiring me for coaching and I wish I had another twin of me who I could duplicate, but I'm just one dude trying to get through call after call. And I really give my best effort so I don't overschedule myself. I make sure that I'm always fresh and ready to go, that I research your problems, and I truly understand what your issues are, and I give you 110% when you hire me.

1:35 Now, that being said, although I am up to a 10-week waiting list, you guys are a little bit special in my heart. Why are you special? Because you're listening to this podcast. You see I get clients from many different sources, but when you listen to this podcast, I go ahead and bump you up as much as I can in the waiting list. So if and when you order, what's going to happen is I'll send you a questionnaire with questions about what your issues are with women, what sticking points you want to get past, what limiting beliefs you have that you want me to remove from your head for you, and then I'm going to ask you where you found me.

2:08 So when you see that, just make sure you put the Unapologetic Man podcast, and when I see that, I'm going to try my very best to bump you up in the schedule. Once again, man, it's pretty damn crazy, but I will do my best for you. So if you want to order, check me out at MarkSingCoaching.com. Again, that's M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G coaching.com. And go ahead and check out my testimonials. You'll hear more about what I do by reading that, although a lot of you who kind of binge listen to my coaching know exactly what I do.

2:38 So I won't repeat it because I'm sure you're sick of hearing it. So with all that out of the way, guys, let's go ahead and jump into the content. All right, winging. So we're going to kind of start this and we're going to preface this that you guys are at a nightclub. Now, any of this can be applied to day game, but since nightclub game is a little bit more common, especially with wingmen, I'm going to preface this around that. So if you guys are more doing like day game, picking up girls at open markets, in the supermarket, at whatever kind of venue you happen to go to, malls, etc., then just apply everything or almost everything that I'm saying to that.

3:13 But again, we're going to preface this around nightclubs because there's really good lessons to learn here when it comes to creating the vibe, creating a good environment for yourself, creating a good energy. And that's what we're going to start with first. So there's two different types of people in the nightclubs. There's the observed and there's the observing. You want to be the observed. What does that mean? You want to make sure that the party is where you're at. You don't want to be one of those typical guys that sits on the bar and stares out at everybody dancing, stares at girls and basically looks like a lion on the open prairies of the Serengeti who just wants to attack that gazelle.

3:51 When you have that hunting vibe about you, when you have that seeking vibe about you, that's feminine energy because you're seeking state from outside yourself. So naturally, you're already putting yourself in a bad position by sitting there staring, not having a good time, looking for others to entertain you. Instead, what you want to do is you want to create the good vibe within your own group. Now, naturally, the more girls you can go with, the better. I'd love for you guys to show up with several girls, three, four, five, six.

4:21 The more, the better, man. Show up with 200 girls, even better. There cannot be too many girls, literally, when you go to nightclubs and bars and even in day game. And we're going to talk about that in a second. But we want you to have the party where you are. And even if you're just going with one friend, you guys need to pretend, and I say pretend in quotes, that you're into each other, that you haven't seen each other in months. You guys are catching up. You're really having a good time.

4:47 You're laughing. You're talking. But of course, we all know it's like, do I really need to go to the nightclub to hang out with my boy? Not really. I'm there to meet girls. But the preface is, and we want girls to think, that we are there to have a good time because girls love being at nightclubs. They love dancing. They love the music. They love drinking, especially the fat ones. And that's why they're there. So we need to kind of pretend we're the same way. Now, I say pretend once again because who gives a rat's ass?

5:14 Do I really want to go to a nightclub and hop around on the dance floor like a goddamn rabbit trying to attract a woman with a human mating dance? Not really. I'd really rather not be there. But when it comes to talking to girls, I would rather be there because that's fun as hell. So what you guys do, and this is what me and my wingmen do, is we actually don't talk when we're on our way to the club because we wait to talk about what we have to talk about until we're actually there so it looks like we're engaging in each other.

5:44 So what we do is we listen to music, hardcore music. You guys know I'm really into that. And we get really fired up. And then when we're going to the bar, as I always talk about, we warm up by opening people. And then once we get to the bar, we make it about me and him. So when we're not talking to girls, it's about me and my boy. We talk about our weeks. We talk about what's been going on. We talk about girls. Now, while we're doing that, we're not stalking the room like those two lions I talked about.

6:13 At least not obviously we're not. We're acting like we're talking to each other. We're acting like we're oblivious to the rest of the crowd. But this is very, very intentional because we are looking at the rest of the crowd. So what we'll do is I'll be looking over his shoulder at certain moments to check out what kind of girls we want to open. And we will literally be sitting there talking about, okay, bro, over your left shoulder. I see a two set, one blonde and one brunette.

6:38 Okay, they're pretty cute. And over next to them, there's a pretty solid nine. Okay, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go open the brunette. And when I clue you in, I want you to come in. And then you're going to talk to the brunette while I talk to the blonde. And then what we're going to do is we're going to use them to try to pivot into that nine over there. Okay, so what that is to say is him and I are talking strategy.

7:00 We're talking, I'm going to do this, you're going to do that. And the rule is, is the guy who opens, and by the way, you should just open one at a time. Okay, so one guy goes up at a time. The guy who opens is the one who gets his pick of the hot girl. So let's say we're going to open a three set. Okay, and the blonde is clearly the hottest one. So I'll be like, okay, brother, when you have a moment, take a look.

7:22 I'm going to go over there and open that group of girls. I want the blonde. Okay, and he's like, all right, good. And then what he does is he jumps on either the grenade or he acts as a block for the girl that we're both not that interested in. So he's going to take one for the team. And what we usually do is alternate. Okay, so going over what we've talked about so far. First and foremost, you want to have a good dynamic when you go in.

7:45 Preferably with girls, you guys are having fun, you're joking around, maybe some dancing. You guys have your little group and you're the leader of the group. If it's just you and your friend, you guys are there to see each other. You're broing out, you're laughing, you're having a good time. Yeah, it takes a little bit of acting, but you know what? It is what it is because girls are noticing this. Then when you're not talking to each other, you're talking to girls. That's basically it is you're either talking to girls or you're talking to each other.

8:10 Okay, so you see the three set. You're the guy who's going to go in first. Now, what I typically do is I'll open the ugly one first. Why do I do that? Because the ugly one has the highest chance of being a fucking linebacking cock block. Whenever you go for the girl who you really want and you just focus on her, freaking fatty linebacking cock block comes flying out of the 50-yard line and just decimates you, bro. And the next thing you know, you're just getting blocked.

8:36 She's pulling her friend's way to go dancing. She's blocking you. And I actually get emails from guys saying, how do I prevent cock blocks? Well, the way you do it is you befriend the ugly one or ugly ones. Okay, so a couple of things I want to mention about that. First of all is when you're talking to a three set, let's say three girls, you want to make sure all of them are engaged and all of them are entertained. You want to relate the conversation to her and her friends, not just her.

9:03 So many guys go in and they just focus on the girl they want quite unconsciously because that's what we want. And we tend to focus on what we want. But you need to be strong and you need to say, okay, I need to include the girls who I don't want, the linebacking cock blocks, the alpha females who aren't as hot. And I need to make it entertaining for them. In a previous podcast, I talked about my strategy of talking to two girls where I say, oh, how do you two know each other, right?

9:29 And they say, oh, we're sisters. And I'll be like, you know what? I thought that about you. And they'll be like, oh, really? Why? And I'll be like, because you guys kind of have the same mannerisms. Like when you look at me, you kind of laugh in the same way. You ever notice that? Then they'll both laugh and I'll be like, see, you guys just did it. You guys kind of, your eyes flip the same way or you kind of laugh the same, blah, blah, blah.

9:47 And then I'll do what I call the best friend test. And the best friend test is what kind of shampoo does she use? They love talking about their friendship. They love talking about themselves. I'll also ask, do you ever think about her? And she calls you. And then while I'm doing this, I might even be talking about my friend. Now, as you're including everybody, one quick way to neutralize what I call the cock block is to tell her that she reminds you of your sister or she reminds you of your cousin.

10:17 So I would even open with that. I'd be like, hey, I just had to come tell you, you freaking look exactly like my cousin. I was just looking on my phone to see if I can find a picture of her, but I can't. But I got to tell you, you are. I literally thought you were my cousin for like a couple minutes when I first walked in here. What's your last name? And then and then you're interested in the fat girl or the cock block. Meanwhile, the hot girl sitting there and then you can bring her in and then be like, so how do you guys all know each other?

10:44 Boom. Now you're talking to the three girls. OK, so once you've gone in and what you can do once again is talk about the girls and how they're friends. And this is what I'd always do is if we're going into a two set, which is typical, right? Most of the time it's going to be two girls, sometimes three, but usually two. So what I do is I go in and I talk about how those two girls relate to each other. Best friends test. Do you ever think about her and she calls you?

11:11 How long have you guys known each other? Do you think you're going to be grandmas together in the old folks home? Adjusting each other's miracle ears so you can hear each other talk. Ha ha ha. Now I use that to segue into what is an important point, which is this, is you want to build up your friend. OK, so as I'm talking about them being friends, I'll be like, yeah, you know, it's crazy. My best friend's actually here tonight, too. And he was traveling in Spain.

11:36 I haven't seen him in like three months. Missed the dude so much and it was crazy because before we came out tonight, same thing happened. I was thinking about him and he called me and he's like, hey, you want to go out? And I was like, yeah, let's do it, man. And I'm so stoked to have him here. Let me see. Where is he? And I'll be like, hey, hey, Eric, come over here. Come over here. And then he'll come in. OK, so that's one way to do it.

11:55 Or you could signal him. OK, so one of the signals that we use is like scratching the back of our head or like maybe rubbing your nose or whatever you guys agree upon. OK, so you go in first. I don't like to go in the two of us at one time, although we do that as well. But it's just not my preferred method because sometimes it freaks them out. I found this way to be a lot more successful. So I go in first. I get them to be friendly with me.

12:21 I charisma bomb them, get them, you know, really entertained in the conversation. And when I feel the time is right, I'm going to bring in my boy. OK, so my boy comes in. And now here's the thing is that before I open, I told him, hey, I'm interested in the blonde. He knows that. So his job and this is freaking brilliant. Listen to this one. His job is to talk to the blonde. Now, you think, wait, wait, wait a minute. I thought he was supposed to neutralize the obstacle.

12:47 He is. But here's what he does. He talks to the blonde about me, about me. He builds me up. So he's like, yeah, you know, I was traveling in Spain. It was so cool. But, you know, this guy's my best friend. And do you know, Mark? Do you know Mark from before? No. Well, he's actually did it. And he like brags about me. Not too obvious now. Not too obvious. But enough to get her like interested. Right. He'll drop in how I'm a successful this, that, and the third, how I'm the most loyal friend ever.

13:16 And oh my God, his ex-girlfriend. Actually, we saw his ex-girlfriend. She's a model. And she's pretty pissed off at him because he just wasn't into it. And she was like stalker Texas Ranger. Right. Well, anyway, we saw her across the street and man, she gave us death eyes. I think she's going to come in here. So if she comes in here and tries to fight you, she's a model. So what models typically do, as you know, is they'll use their stilettos as knives. She'll take off her shoe and she's going to attack you.

13:43 Just play dead. Just play dead. You'll be okay. So he's doing this to my girl. And if he's interested in, let's say, the brunette, my friend is interested in the other girl who I'm talking to, I'll build him up. And I'll do the exact same thing, which I talked about. Now at the appropriate time, it's my job to overhear what Eric is talking about with the blonde and then I'll interject. So in a natural lull of the conversation with, let's say the brunette, the cock block, or the girl who I don't want, I'll kind of like turn away from her and listen to what Eric and the blonde are talking about.

14:18 And I'll be like, oh, you guys are talking about Spain. You know, it's interesting. Da, da, da, da, da. And then I'll start talking to the blonde. Eric will start talking to the brunette. Boom. We've just switched. Okay. Now I've been built up. Now it's my job to drop charisma bombs, really get her interested. If Eric is interested in the brunette, well, he can do the same thing. And he'll tell me this before we go in. He's like, nah, man, I'm not interested. So don't build me up too much now.

14:44 And what he might do too is I'll be like, all right, bro, I'm going to go into the obstacle and tell her she looks like my cousin. So being it that you and I are best friends, tell her she reminds you of my cousin as well. And you're really close with my cousin. Just some way to neutralize her. Because think about that, guys. I mean, this is brilliant. I have neutralized so many grenades this way where you basically just say, hey, you remind me of my sister.

15:09 I love you. We're best friends forever. The brilliant thing about it is she's not going to get attracted to you because she knows like you're not going to be into her. Well, she may get attracted to you, but she's not going to act on it. And she's not going to try to blow you out, which so many lying back in cock blocks do because they get butthurt about you hitting on their friend because their friend's always the one getting hit on, right? And that's why cock blocks are cock blocks is because they're jealous.

15:34 They don't want you hitting on their friend. They want their friend for themselves. So you have to befriend the cock block. The best way to do that is to say she reminds you of your sister, your cousin, your best friend, whatever. Okay, so now we've switched and now we could just game. Okay, let's say it's a dude and a girl. And we'll do this all the time. I will open girls with guys because usually they're just friends, especially if I watch for a few seconds. Not obviously, but if I watch and I'm like, okay, she's definitely not into this guy.

16:03 I can tell by her body language. He's probably a work friend. Many times it's her brother. It's a friend who got friend zoned and I'll swoop in there and I'll swoop her up. And the way I do it again is I go in individually. Obviously, I'm interested in the girl, talk to them both, ask how they know each other, blah, blah, blah. Cue in my boy. My boy comes in and he neutralizes the dude. And how do you neutralize a dude? It's pretty easy. You just talk about what he's interested in.

16:31 If the dude is really into mountain biking, you talk about mountain biking. If he's really into fly fishing, you talk about fly fishing. If the dude likes to suck dick, talk to him about freaking eating the salad out. It's pretty damn simple. Okay. So now you're talking to the girl, you're going to grab her number. And then a good thing to do too is once you befriend a girl, bring them into your group. And that's the thing is that a lot of guys will just see this as like, okay, we're going after these two targets, get their number, move on.

16:58 These two targets, get their number, move on. What I like to do is I like to be like the MC of the club and I like to introduce people to other people. So what you can do as well is use what's called pivots. Once you've met a couple of girls, introduce them to other girls. Now, suddenly you have a group. So if you and your boy go into the bar without girls, which I understand happens, it's not ideal, but it happens. Then you could just collect girls as you go.

17:25 It's like one of those video games. You're just collecting like gemstones and you're using them to get more gemstones and you're building up your bank account. That's really what it is. Your social bank account is how many girls you can get in your group. So if you go in with girls or even if you don't, the best wingman in the world is a girl. Now, what's really annoying, and this happens all the time, is girls get this idea in their head where they're going to go get you a girl.

17:50 Oh, which girl do you want? I'll go get her for you. Now, that's really sweet. I understand why they want to do that, but it's not the best way to do it. The best way to do it is to let you have control and simply have her on your arm or standing next to you when you open a girl. So literally, I will take some of my girlfriends and just open girls with her standing there. Once the set sticks, she gets lost. She'll be like, I got to go to the bathroom.

18:15 Cool. She goes to the bathroom and now I'm in. I have never once in my entire life of all the thousands and thousands and thousands of times I've done this been rejected when I opened a girl with a girl on my arm. And it's as simple as like, hey, who are you? What's up, Kelly? This is Jessica. Hey, what's up, guys? So you guys seem like you're both from Colorado. Is that true? Where are you from? Blah, blah, blah. And then she makes friends with her.

18:39 You guys are all making friends. Then at the right time, your wing woman gets lost. And then boom, you're in like Flynn. And one of the great things you can do, guys, is with female friends, with your cousin, with your sister, or whoever it may be, is explain this concept of pre-selection to her. Pre-selection means that women will be attracted to you when other women are with you. And a good wing woman who understands the game and understands how it works and understands that she's not going to like be able to take control and try to get this girl for you.

19:10 It just doesn't work. It looks beta. You having a woman do your dirty work because you're not courageous enough to do it yourself is completely a beta cuck feminine thing to do. So you need to explain to women, listen, women get more attractive to guys when they have women on their arms. Would you be down to like approach women with me? And I'm telling you, when you explain this concept to them, they're almost always down to do it with you. Then all they do literally is stand there, converse with the girl nicely, and then get lost when they're no longer needed.

19:38 That's literally part of their job. And what I suggest with wing woman is you treat them like gold. All the things you don't want to do to get a girl attracted to you, which is buy her things, compliment her, you know, be like a great friend, you want to do for your wing woman. Now, invariably, sometimes they get attracted to you. That's a whole different podcast, a whole different headache that you're going to have to deal with. But if you can treat them like gold, then maybe they won't get attracted to you, right?

20:05 Because that's what you're not supposed to do is what I call supplicate to the girl, you know, take her to dinner, treat her like gold. But if you find a good wing woman, which I've had and have, they are worth their weight in gold. They're worth more than a wing man. I'll tell you what, well, actually, no, a good wing man is worth just as much as a good wing woman. So, so I take that back. But this is how you wing guys, is you want to work as a team.

20:31 And most importantly, please, God, don't be the type of dude that stands on the bar, uncomfortably looking at everybody else, trying to get some kind of energy from them, trying to be a taker. Because what you are, is you're being a social taker. There's social givers and there's social takers. I want you guys to be social givers. And yeah, it takes a lot of energy. And that's why I suggest when you pick up your friend, you guys save your energy. Maybe both of you listen to this podcast, really understand what's expected of you.

20:59 Go in there, bring a nice, fun, good energy into the bar. And hopefully you won't have to talk to each other too much. Hopefully you scheme and plan and then you're opening girls and you guys are constantly in set. Now, it always doesn't work perfectly that way. Like, you know, you go in and you open both of them and then he comes in and talks to your target. I mean, there's a myriad of different circumstances that can happen, but that's the basic foundational premise of how you want to do it.

21:27 As you guys work together, you're going to get better with each other. And here's the final thought of this podcast. Never under any circumstance, stab your friend in the back. Okay. The bros before hoes idiom really holds true here. So if both of you guys are listening to this right now, I want you to look at each other and be like, bro, I will get your back no matter what. Even if this fucking sexy nine puts us in a situation where we have to go against each other in order for one of us to have her, we will not do that.

21:55 We will drop girls in order for our brother. We will give up opportunities in order to honor our friend. That's what it's all about. It's all about honoring your wingman and even hooking him up, trying to get him laid more than you get laid. When you have that giving mentality, that giving vibe to one another with each other, that's when it works. When you have a taker vibe and like, oh, bro, fuck this guy. I just want to get laid. I'm just using him. I'm telling you it's not going to work.

22:21 So you guys need to have each other's best interests in mind, want to see each other succeed, want to build each other up, have a genuine friendship with your friend who you're doing this with. That's really when it's going to work. When you guys bring that dynamic that your friend is more important to you than any other girl in the nightclub, when you bring that into the bars and also day game guys, then it's going to work for you. If you don't have that, it's not going to work for you because literally the vibe that you have between each other is just as important as the vibe that you put off to the women from your own self.

22:55 So I want you guys to find a wingman who you trust, somebody you have honor for, strength and honor and integrity for your boy, for your brother right there, bro. He's the warrior to your left who's protecting you with his shield. And you guys are going in as a dais, which is a Spartan partnership where two guys fight together. That's what I want you guys to do. All right, guys, that wraps up this podcast about winging. I hope this was helpful for you. If you find value in my coaching, I would very much appreciate a review, preferably a five star review with some writing behind it.

23:26 Tell the other guys what you got from this podcast, what you learned and whether or not they should take the time to click that play button, whether or not it's worth their time. And if you want to get some coaching with me, once again, my waiting list is out to 10 weeks. But if you say you came from the UMP, I will push you as much to the front of the line as I possibly can. Just be sure to let me know so that you get that preferential treatment.

23:48 I had to record that last part like three different times because preferential was so hard to say. Jesus, that was difficult. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.