How YOUR EGO is MURDERING Your Happiness- Your Ego is Not Your Amigo

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. And today, we are going to talk about how your ego is killing your happiness. The ego is not your amigo, and we're going to go over exactly what the ego is, how we try to grow it, how we try to use others to make ourselves feel more of what we associate with, and how essentially the more ego, the more suffering.

0:43 And I want to give you some tactile, real advice today about how you can start killing your ego rather than having your ego kill your happiness so you can start moving into more peace and more happiness, which ultimately is everything we're trying to go for, right? So one thing I want to mention about this episode is it will get fewer clicks than my other episodes, particularly those that talk about tricks and techniques to get girls. Now, the reason that is, is because people want that easy answer.

1:10 They want that quick fix. And honestly, if you're listening to this, you're the kind of guy I relate to most because, yeah, those tips and tricks and techniques and vault full of shit that I give to seduce women are great. Okay, they're necessary. I really like them, but it's this kind of thing that shows me that you're actually interested in improving yourself. And when you click on this, just the fact that you're listening to this, I know everything that I need to know about you, right?

1:35 You're more interested in becoming the best man you can be than like getting your dick wet, getting phone numbers, getting those things that essentially are there to make your ego feel better, which we're going to talk about in this very episode. So straight up, brother, even though this one is going to get fewer clicks, I want to congratulate you, salute you, because like me, you're more interested in the self-development thing, becoming the best man you can be rather than just getting chicks. And those are the guys who are actually going to get the most chicks are the dudes who work on themselves, who really take a humble consideration of how, for example, your ego is massive and it's killing your happiness.

2:14 In fact, the more ego, the more suffering. So first of all, I want to define what the ego is. I want to talk about the myriad of ways the ego latches onto those things that are basically outside ourselves, why it creates suffering and how awareness alone is curative. Once you start really recognizing the ego in yourself and how you understand how cunning it is and how it will oftentimes come in through the back door, you can start taking steps to improve it. And thus, you're going to become more happy and more importantly, more at peace.

2:46 So to start this episode, I want to define exactly what the ego is. Okay, the ego is that part of you that defines itself through things that ultimately have nothing to do with who you are. So our egos will often identify with our nationality. Okay, I'm American, I'm British, I'm from Africa, wherever I'm at, and we get a sense of pride because of that. It associates with how we look, how good does our body look, how intelligent we are, how much money we're making, what kind of job we have, what our family history is, any skill sets we might possess.

3:21 The experiences we've had and the accomplishments we've had in the past, the type of girl who we're dating and how hot she is. I want to point the finger at myself here because my ego definitely related to that. And that was a massive reason I got so good at Sudi Singh Women is because I just wanted people to see me with a hot chick on my arm. That was like a major reason for it. So the ego will basically take anything in your life, those things that are positive, and try to take them to build upon itself.

3:49 The classic example, of course, is a guy driving down the street who has like Denver Broncos stickers all over his car. He's associating his ego with the sports team, and if the sports team does good, it ameliorates him and makes him feel more alive, more important, more recognizable by other egos. So it latches onto those things that, again, ultimately have nothing to do with who he is, right? So you get a lot of people who really stand behind their sports teams. And you know what? That's okay to a certain level, but you get these people who go to that massive extreme where if their team loses, they automatically feel like less of a person.

4:27 But if their team wins, they feel it somehow has something to do with themselves, and they feel like more of a person. The ego is also never fucking satisfied. And that's why the more ego you have, the more suffering you have, because even if, say, for example, that team wins, two weeks later, after all the celebrations, like, for example, the celebrations that have been going down in Argentina, two weeks later, they're going to start to feel empty, and then they're going to look ahead to the 2026 World Cup.

4:55 Let's go ahead and win that one and prove to everybody that we are indeed the best nation when it comes to this sport so we can further add that to our sense of pride and our sense of selves. So the ego is trying to define itself because ultimately, like when it comes down to the very central core of why it operates like this, the ego wants to build itself up because it fears death. It fears annihilation. So the more I am of me, the more money I have, the more recognition I have, the more reviews I have on my podcast, the harder chicks I get, the more ripped I am, the more chicks that check me out, you know, that Lamborghini I'm driving, all this that I add to myself, it gives the illusion that we are ultimately immortal.

5:37 And again, it's a total illusion that the ego grabs onto. The ego, who again, wants more and more and more, will also often get lost in accumulating things. And I think as Americans, most of my listeners are Americans, but also people from Canada, Australia, Great Britain, and anywhere else who speak English, we usually come from first world countries. Now, in America, particularly consumerism, right? People just want more and more and more. The amount of consumption that is happening in today's world is unprecedented throughout history. Why?

6:09 Because of ego, we're trying to add more to ourselves, become more of me, more of Mark Singh. I want to become bigger and badder and better, have people recognize me, have people want to be me, and then I feel more like myself. But that's a fucking illusion because it's bottomless. It's like the person who is addicted to shopping. Why are they addicted to shopping? Because it continues to grow their ego. But here's the thing. After they get what they want, say like a cool jacket from Louis Vuitton or something like that, right?

6:38 They put it on, they feel good for a couple weeks, it grows them, their own image, like, look at me, I'm wearing this Louis Vuitton, therefore I'm richer, therefore I'm more important than you, and therefore my ego can feel like more of you, and I can feel more immortal. But then two weeks later, it's like, ah, I need more. Let's go to Gucci and get that necklace. Let's go to Versace and get those shoes. Let's go to the Lamborghini dealership and get that black-on-black Murcia Lago.

7:06 That's going to make me feel like more of me. And by the way, boys, I used to be a valet parker. Dude, those Lamborghinis are horrible to drive. Nobody would ever get that shit because it's fun to drive. I mean, maybe some of the speed. Yeah, it's cool to get in a car that's going to pull the blood to the back of your brain. Believe me, I'm with you on that. But dude, Lamborghini seats are like sitting on a wood bench. Seriously, you get in those things?

7:29 They're so uncomfortable. So why do people buy them? Why do people have BMWs, Mercedes, Lamborghinis, Aston Martins, all these nice cars? The fucking ego. Now, I do recognize sometimes you want to have a superior driving experience. I understand that. One of my dreams is to get a Bentley because I was a valet parker for a long time. And those Bentleys, man, it's like so comfortable, so luxurious. And just like, I don't know, man, just did it for me. But oftentimes I think to myself, like, dude, I want to get a Beamer.

7:58 And I'm like, why? Why do I want to get a Beamer or a Mercedes? Because I'm trying to prove to others that I've been successful. Why do we need to rock a Rolex watch? Does it really fucking operate differently from a Seiko or a Tudor or whatever watch company you want to mention? No, it's the image of it. So you can show people, hey, I'm successful. And when they recognize it, like, damn, is that a Rolex? You're like, yeah, man. And it's about you, right? People have really nice tattoos.

8:26 Like, I have really fucking nice tattoos. And people compliment me on them all the time. Well, I realized when I got them, I wanted them to look good, not only because I wanted to appreciate the art. Let's be honest. I like the compliments. My ego grows every time I'm flossing my tattoos and somebody says, dude, those are sick, which essentially translates in my ego, which is, Mark, you're sick. You're bigger. You're more real. You're more immortal. The ego wants to constantly ameliorate itself, constantly grow itself.

8:55 And listen to this. Even if it has to latch on to something that's perceptively negative. People who, for example, have been victimized. I have a friend on Facebook. God bless him. The guy's had a horrible life. And I understand that he's had some racism against him, but he's Jewish. And every single day, boys, he posts something on Facebook about anti-Semitism. Oh, in Boston, there was a swastika drawn on the car of a rabbi. Oh, this week in Florida, this happened. This week in Los Angeles, this happened.

9:23 And I understand there is anti-Semitism. And I'm the first guy to tell you it's fucking bullshit because it's ego created, isn't it? Anti-Semitism is because other people feel superior to Jews. They blame them for their problems. I don't know where the fuck they get that logic. And then they hold them down. I'm the first one to say that it's there. But when you get a guy like this dude who focuses on it and creates his own ego around being a victim, what does that give him?

9:49 It gives him moral superiority. He feels more morally superior because he's telling you he's been a victim. Therefore, I get to complain. Therefore, I'm better than you because I'm the victim. I'm morally superior. I understand suffering like you don't. And people will often latch their egos onto sicknesses, physical disabilities, things that happened to them in the past where they were victimized. And they can't let it go because their ego will latch onto anything. And I want to ask you, brother, at this point in the episode, what is your ego latching onto?

10:22 Be honest with me, man. Do you want to get girls because you kind of want to show your boys like what a champion you are? Do you want to floss into a restaurant with a super hot fucking solid 10 and everybody's giving you thumbs up and kind of checking out your chick and smiling at you and giving you all kinds of accolades, which, by the way, has happened to me on dozens of occasions? Do you want that? Why do you want that? Because your ego, you want to build up who you are, fluff your feathers, flex your wings, as it were, and feel more of you, more accepted, better, bigger, feeling immortal.

10:55 So I want you to question the ego inside yourself because here's another big point of this episode. More ego, more suffering. Every single problem in the world is because of egos fighting against other egos. Let's look at Putin for a second. Putin, who a lot of people think is sick and dying, but even if he isn't, this is still a good point. He wants to leave a legacy because he wants to be the dude who brought Russia back to its former greatness right after World War II, right?

11:23 So he invades Ukraine, kills all these people, doesn't even fucking care because he wants to leave his legacy as the dude who reunited Russia. And it's all ego-based. The United States, who, by the way, told Russia that we wouldn't move NATO closer and closer to its borders, yet we continue doing so, letting countries that were right next to Russia into NATO because we want to be the superior nation. We want to kill communism because when we do, capitalism grows and we get more, more, more. Politicians who lie, they just want more.

11:57 Donald Trump, every fucking single word out of that dude's mouth is a lie. And even if you support Donald Trump, you can't fucking disagree with me, man. The guy's a, like, perpetual liar, as are most politicians. Why? because all they fucking care about is getting more power, getting more money, getting what the fuck they want, which is ego-based. Every single problem in the world is because of the ego. And here's the third point. The ego is fear. It is nothing but fear. It fears its own annihilation.

12:27 So it has to add more to me and feel more about my nationalism and my soccer team and my football team and more money and more bitches and more and more and more and more and more. And when you look at it out in society, you see it everywhere, man. You see it in rap lyrics, particularly. That genre, I love the music, don't get me wrong, I listen to it myself, but it's like one ego song after another ego song. Not all of them, but you see it consistently.

12:52 And not only rap music, all kinds of music, all kinds of movies, everywhere you look, the ego has a death grip on the psychology of humanity as a whole right now. And all our problems are because of egos fighting against other egos. So what can we do, man? The first thing to do is simply recognize it in yourself and realize the ego is very cunning, very cunning. And I want to say something too. I'm finding my ego all the time and my ego is fucking gigantic.

13:20 It is a monster that has created so much suffering for myself and others, frankly. So the first thing to do is just recognize it and admit it. Yeah, man, my ego is a little out of control, dude. Like I keep trying to win. I want to beat other people. I want that trophy on the shelf to show me and everybody else that I'm good enough, that I exist, that I am worthy. So for me, again, my biggest thing was girls. I wanted to roll into nightclubs with the hottest chicks I could so that everybody looked at me and said, ooh, that guy is something.

13:53 And then I'd say, yeah, I'm something. And I'd feel bigger and better and more immortal, really. But you look at it in yourself and you say, dude, what am I doing to create this ego within myself? And the first place to look is other people. Now, this is the easiest thing to do because your ego is gonna feel superior to them because you're judging the ego in them. Check that out. How the ego is so cunning, it'll come in through the back door, won't it? So you'll be at the gym working out and you'll see a guy who's all like flexing up and you're like, damn, dude, the ego in that guy is just gigantic.

14:26 What a fucking douche canoe. But what really just happened is your ego tried to flex up on his ego. Thus, your ego is now just as big as his, if not bigger. So instead, you have to recognize in yourself and recognize how it will come through the back door by claiming superiority of others or judging people like my boy on Facebook, who, by the way, is suffering to a great level because he identifies fully in his heritage being Jewish, which is fine, but he's made that part of his ego.

14:55 Then he goes down the weird, cryptic, super negative road of being victimized. And now he's suffering on a day-to-day basis because his ego wants to feel morally superior. Every day, he's like, don't tell me this isn't happening. I'm not, and I don't comment on it because I don't even want to add fuel to his fire. But I just look at him from a third-party perspective and say, yeah, man, you know, your people are being persecuted, but so are black people. I mean, dude, so was I when I lived in Japan.

15:22 There was so much racism against me, but I didn't focus on it. I didn't focus on that thing. I focused on the cool people who are cool to me. So oftentimes, too, your life is a reflection of how you view it. Attitude is everything. Your perception is going to dictate your experience. So back to the ego, when you recognize it within yourself, that alone is literally 70% of the battle. So if you floss around in a giant lifted truck and you roll coal everybody, ask yourself, why are you doing that?

15:50 Why are you lifting weights to try to get super ripped? Is it for your health? Is it to attract more chicks so you can feel bigger and better when other people see you with these chicks? Or what's the reason? Like, let's get fucking down to the penny honest about why we do what we do. And brother, I'm doing this along with you, and I have a lot of fucking work to do. So look at yourself and see the kind of behavior that you're doing. Do you write people like me?

16:15 And this is like so typical right here, boys. It's so funny. Like every day I'll get an email where it's like, yeah, I like your podcast, but. And then it's like giving me some piece of advice or like, yeah, you're pretty good, but X, Y, Z. Would they really do that if they were trying to help me? No, it's because they want to feel better than me in some sense, thus ameliorating their ego and feeling like, oh, I correct the coach. I made a comment and a criticism about his thing because he's not that great, but now that I'm better than him, I can use his status and build myself even beyond that.

16:48 And this is why you get haters all the time on YouTube videos and Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, because it's a bunch of egos trying to grow themselves above the person who they're criticizing. Nothing feels better than correcting the coach. Nothing feels better than watching Tom Brady have a football game and then writing a post about how he didn't do this right and do that right. Give me a fucking break. It's ridiculous. Like even Lionel Messi, his wife was commenting on how many people will just like make these little comments because yeah, they're out there on the soccer field or like super cross guys.

17:20 Like you'll get these dirt bike riders on the weekends who are like, bro, you should have hit that quad. I don't know why you don't have the balls to do that. It's like, shut the fuck up, man. You're not out there on the gridiron doing this work. Your ego is just trying to make you feel better. And that's what a fucking troll is. Just trying to ameliorate his ego or a person who's shopping at JCPenney and Macy's and going to the mall every weekend and wearing all these epic clothes.

17:43 It's all ego boys. And the biggest thing to look for in yourself is that you're not judging these people because then it's your ego coming in through the back door. And certainly it may seem that I'm judging people here and I'm honestly trying not to. Instead, I have compassion for them because like I said, more ego, more suffering. And if you can recognize the suffering in another person, like my Jewish friend on Facebook, I recognize his suffering and I literally send the dude love. Like, hey bro, I hope things get better for you, man.

18:12 I really do. But I also recognize like, dude, his ego has latched onto that victim mentality so massively. And now he's having moral superiority. And even if I did say, hey bro, you might want to, you know, kind of change your attitudes a little bit. Like try to see things different. He's going to be like, oh, you don't understand. He's going to attack me from his ego. So it's like, sometimes you can't even communicate with those types of people. But if you can have compassion for them and see it in them and say, damn dude, that dude is suffering.

18:41 Like make no mistake, boys, the dude who's super shredded and rich and walks in with the 10 into the nightclub and you can tell it's kind of his ego that wants that to happen. That dude is suffering to a very high level. So the first step is to recognize it in others. The next step and the most difficult step is to recognize it in yourself. The third step is to not let your ego try to claim superiority over theirs because that's just the ego coming in through the back door.

19:07 And the last step I'm going to discuss in the weeks ahead. But I want to give you guys a book to read that delves further into this and gives the ultimate solution to this ego thing, which again, I'm going to record a podcast on. But in this one, I felt it better just to kind of introduce some of you to this concept because it's a lot to take in. And like I said, 70% of it is just recognizing it. So if you see it within yourself and be humble and say, hey, I have this thing.

19:31 My ego is attached to XYZ. If you simply see it, you'll start to let go of it. But a book I want to recommend that really gets deep into this and gives a really good solution to it is called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Again, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I cannot stress how important that book is. I literally think that every single person in the world should read that book because it is so fucking true. And it discusses the ego and not only how to recognize it, but how to rise above it, which again, I'm going to do a podcast on in probably the next few months.

20:05 But for now, boys, just recognize it in yourself. I'm certainly trying to do it myself. And dude, I have a long way to go. I'm the first one to admit my ego is absolutely ginormous. It has an insatiable appetite. It wants more and more and more. And they are cunning boys, cunning like a fox will come in through the back door and make you feel superior to others when you see their egos. So this is something we all have to work on. But I'm telling you, all the world's problems, all of them are because of egos fighting against other egos.

20:36 Kill the ego and your happiness will just naturally come in. Peace will naturally come in, which the power of now talks about. Brothers, I cannot suggest that book enough. Please order it right now. I highly suggest it in either paperback or you can get it on Audible. The audio book is also phenomenal. You may perceive his voice to be a little weird, but I'm telling you, that book will absolutely change your life. So gentlemen, I hope you got something out of this episode. Once again, I do appreciate you clicking on this because you're the kind of guy who, and I'm kind of like pumping your ego here, but you're the kind of guy who's going to get real results.

21:10 Because you want to work on yourself. You want to better who you are. It's not just about chicks. It's not just about tips and techniques that are easy to use with one listen. And who knows, you use them and your ego feels better. Nah, man. You actually want to grow into that best version of yourself. And if that's you, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Order that shit literally right after you press stop on this podcast. Do you appreciate your listening, brother? And I will see you in the next episode.

21:36 I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

21:43 I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.