Life Coaching Mastermind: Let Me Show You The Game Changing Framework of N.M.T.A.

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. If this is your first time listening, welcome. My name is Mark Sing. I am an NLP dating coach for men. I help guys get women, but oftentimes when it comes to getting women, we have to master what I call the art of living. Because when you better your life, when you become more confident and you work on yourself, you naturally become more attractive to women.

0:40 What's really interesting as a dating coach is most of my guys are more interested in becoming the best version of themselves than they are getting women. Or I should say sometimes it's about equal, but it's really interesting to me that those things about such as today's topic. And this is really interesting. I want you guys to stay tuned until the end because I'm going to reveal the most important part at the end. So thank you for joining me. I really do appreciate it. Before I kick off into the content, I want to tell a quick story.

1:12 So literally 10 minutes before I sat down to record this podcast, I had a sales call, but it wasn't me trying to sell my program to somebody. It was somebody trying to sell their program to me. As you guys know, I always invest in myself. I always invest in my business. And because of that, I've become really successful and not to toot my own horn, not to flex my feathers or go down flex Avenue. But this company, this podcast, my business, my personal life, I've really been able to achieve a lot of success.

1:41 And I completely attribute that to investing in myself, investing in programs, investing in fixing what's going on between my two ears, which is the most important place. And I was actually talking to Marissa about it. I'm like, you know, ever since I started really investing in myself, my life just skyrocketed like upward trajectory, almost vertical, especially when it comes to making money and getting girls. That's been almost a vertical increase. The more I invest in myself, the more I get back. So I'm always getting on like sales calls, letting people pitch to me what they do and trying to get into programs, get into more coaching, et cetera.

2:14 So I contacted this company that basically does AI version of you. They take you and they make like an AI version of you and it helps increase your content production. So I was really excited to get on this call. And of course, as I always am, I'm on time. I'm on Zoom. I'm on time. My mic is working. My headphones are working. I'm ready to go. And then it becomes 301 and then 302, 303. And once like 304 hit, I was like, are you serious right now? And this chick, she's really banging, right?

2:48 This girl is going to get on with. And I was like, ah, here we go, dude. She's going to try to talk her way out of it because she's super hot. By 305, I fucking clicked out. So she emails me. She's like, hey, sorry. My other call went over. I really do apologize. And I'm like, sorry, lost your opportunity with me. It is so unbelievably unprofessional to show up late to anything, let alone when you're trying to fucking sell something to somebody. That is the most unprofessional thing you could ever do.

3:15 And if she does that on the sales call before she even has my money, what's she going to do when she has my money? She can't be trusted on the sales call, which is when people are most on their A game or they should be. How can you trust them when you actually work with them? That's why I'm always on time. Literally boys, every single thing I do to the fucking minute, every coaching call I start, it starts on the minute. Every sales call I get on, it starts on the minute.

3:43 Everything, including this podcast hits on the minute. And I tell my employees to do the same thing. And I want to tell you guys to do the same thing. Do not be that dude that flakes, that shows up late, that can't be trusted. First of all, it affects your confidence. If other people can't even trust you to show up on time, how can you trust yourself? Secondly, it makes people not trust you, not count on you because you're flaky. It's also feminine energy. A man in his feminine energy is going to foot drag, procrastinate, put things off till later, and he's going to show up fucking late.

4:13 So it was a female sales rep. And I don't want to rip on chicks, but oftentimes they are late, especially if they're optimistic. That's why Marissa's late all the time. But as a man, you should make a commitment right now. I will always be on time to the minute. That is a mark of a masculine man. That's the mark of a man with high testosterone. And I'll tell you this, it's also the mark of a successful man. I learned this when I lived in Japan. Everything in Japan happens to the minute.

4:40 Argentina, on the other hand, which is where Marissa lived, they're always late. And the reason it is, is because they're chill. They're just like going through life very casually and it's not a big deal. If they say they'll be there at three, they're probably going to come at 3.30. I don't like that shit. I like the Japanese slash German method where you can set your watch by the train's arrival time, both in Japan and Germany. And that, in my opinion, is what makes a successful person as well as what we are going to discuss today.

5:05 So today we are going to discuss the concept of not meant to arrive. NMTA, which was taught to me by my mentor, another man who I invest in heavily named Dale Diaz, absolute fucking champion. Dale, what is up, brother? He is like a second father to me. He has taught me so much. He is responsible for so much of my success. And I send you nothing but love, brother, because you are a goddamn legend. So he introduced this to me because, boys, as you know, I tend to go down stress avenue a little bit.

5:40 I tend to think that once I achieve XYZ thing, then I'll be happy. Now, that, of course, is an illusion, which I found out the hard way when it comes to women because I was like, once I'm able to pull girls on command, once I'm consistently getting tens and I have the ability, the confidence, the skill set to approach any woman, engage her in conversation and get her phone number, then I'll be happy. So, of course, what happens? And you know the end of the story, right?

6:07 You achieve it and then you're like, this isn't really fulfilling. So the not meant to arrive concept is based loosely on this concept, which is a lot of you think, and I'm in the same boat because I think this is just sold to us as Americans. And I think just as human beings, we think this way, that once you get to XYZ place, once a situation is created for yourself that will quote unquote make you happy, then you'll achieve peace and you'll achieve success and you'll achieve that happiness.

6:36 So you're always pushing your happiness out to the future and you're making the present moment a means to an end. What's a means to an end? It's when you sacrifice something here so that you could get something there. And that is oftentimes our happiness in the present. If I just struggle, if I just kill myself, if I just make the present moment into a stepping stone to not be appreciated, but instead get me to that final goal, then I'll be happy once I achieve that final goal.

7:05 But the not meant to arrive philosophy, which I'm going to wrap up at the end. So make sure to stay tuned till the end is based on this. So there are four pillars to this whole philosophy that we're going to go through. And I want you to be down to the penny honest. I want you to be the dude that shows up on time every time. And I want you to be completely and thoroughly upfront with yourself. Do you do any of these things or do you think in any of these ways?

7:33 So the first part of this framework is can't arrive, can't arrive. And what this means is you might have a philosophy that arrival isn't meant for you, that you can't get there. You can't become a girl magnet. You can't become a millionaire or multi-millionaire. You can't have your own business. You can't achieve peace. You can't achieve happiness. Why? You're not good looking enough. You're not smart enough. You don't have enough money. Whatever the excuse is, if you have any can't arrive, I can't achieve XYZ thing.

8:04 What is that? It's limiting thinking and it's suicide of all your desires. If you have a desire to get good with women, which by the way, I think is a great desire because women are the ultimate litmus test to see how successful you are in life. But also, as I talked about earlier, it makes you develop yourself as a man when you're trying to get better with women. But to think that you can achieve happiness through that and peace through that, everlasting peace and satisfaction when you wake up buried under a bunch of nines and tens, like that movie, Don't Mess With the Zohan, where the nemesis guy, he wakes up under all these chicks and there's like legs around him and shit.

8:43 So funny. If you think that's going to give you happiness, we all know it's not. It's an illusion. And boys, I've been there. I have pulled the hottest of the hot. It does not satisfy you. It's like eating cotton candy when all you really want is a steak. I think you should build the skill set because you want to be able to attract a 10 who you can spend your life with. But when it's just having sex and just getting as many girls as possible, take it from me, it's not fulfilling.

9:11 You have to kind of do it first to realize that for yourself. But take it from me, it does not fulfill you. So the can't arrive philosophy is, dude, I can't do this. I can't get good with women. I can't make money. I just can't because of whatever limitation that you're using as an excuse. And as Jocko always says, all your excuses are lies because in your head is where your success both starts and ends. So in any way whatsoever, brother, if you think I can't arrive, you're right.

9:35 You can't arrive. Now, I want you to believe that you can arrive, but we're going to tweak it slightly. And that's going to happen again at the end of this episode. So right now we're looking, is there any way that I think I can't arrive, that I can't do this, that it's not meant for me? I'm not lovable. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. Whatever the excuse is, you need to look at that very closely and perhaps as I often do, invest in yourself to overcome that shit.

10:04 This is what boggles my mind about most people. Most people will listen to podcasts like this one. Most people will be armchair quarterbacks and say, yeah, maybe one day I should do that. And they never take action. Two, get better with women. Two, improve the meta programs inside their head where everything starts. Two, improve their philosophy and their attitude and their feelings about money. For example, it's all inside the head. You're the mechanism that's going to dictate the results that you get in life. So why not fix the mechanism?

10:38 Okay, so we have can't arrive. I just can't do it. That bullshit is desire suicide. Anything you want in life, you have to believe that you can get it before you can get it. And that's the way life works. First, you think of the picture, then you paint it, then you step inside of it. A lot of people think that once I'm rich, then I'll feel confident to be rich. It doesn't work that way. First, you got to be confident to be rich. You have to feel rich.

11:05 Even if you can't even rub two nickels together in your pocket, you have to feel rich before you can be rich. You have to feel like a girl magnet before you become a girl magnet. First, you feel it, then you believe it, then it becomes your reality. So that whole can't arrive bullshit, throw it out with yesterday's garbage because it is just that mind garbage that you don't fucking need. The next one is has arrived. And this happens to a lot of my counterparts, a lot of people who I know in this industry who too have gotten a lot of success.

11:34 They're like, hey, I've arrived. My fight is over. I'm here. I'm a success. I don't have to work anymore because I'm here. And my journey is over. I can now retire. Now, these people are really interesting because their ego has grabbed onto the fact that they've been quote unquote successful. Say, for example, a guy who is good with women. His ego will grab onto the fact that he's successful with women. And now he has made himself in his own mind, a girl magnet. And what does he become afraid of?

12:10 He becomes afraid of losing that title. So what happens is he stops taking risks with women. He stops experimenting. He stops putting himself out there. One of the best philosophies I've ever heard when it comes to being successful actually comes from boxing. The champion boxer who continues to win title after title, championship after championship, says to himself, I have lost the title the second I accept a new fight for somebody to challenge me for it. What that means is when they're the champion and someone challenges them and they say, okay, I'll accept this fight.

12:44 You can challenge me. He basically in his mind gives away the title and now he's fighting for it again. Rather than defending the title, he's now fighting for the title. And that's the philosophy of a champion because rather than holding onto some egoic structure of I'm the champion and you have to try to come and get my belt and you're not going to get it from me because I'm going to defend it. He puts himself back in the humble place where he's like, I have to fight again for that title.

13:16 The best pickup artists out there do not feel complete. They don't think they have arrived. They think they still have more to learn. One thing about me as a coach is I will always learn from my clients. I will always take anything that they've created and say, hey man, can I put that into my content? Can I put that into my coaching? The other day, my client Victor came up with a really funny thing to say when a girl asks you what you do for a living.

13:38 Now you guys know that I tell girls that I'm an ass model. I'm a funeral hugger. I'm a penguin picker up at the zoo because when penguins fall over, they can't pick up themselves. And he said, and I've never heard this before, he said, I'm a sex doll tester. I test out sex dolls. And the other day I couldn't perform and I almost got fired. And he had this whole thing. And I was like, dude, that's brilliant. Can I steal that? Can I take it? I'll give you credit.

14:04 And he's like, hell yeah. And that's why I have so many ideas is because I'm humble enough to know that I still have more to learn. I'm not in the egoic position where I'm like, dude, sex doll tester, that's not going to work. Only ass model, penguin picker upper, funeral hugger, and backflip expert, and mayonnaise farmer are going to work. Because everything else that anybody else says is bullshit, that's ego. And that's I've already arrived. I'm the dating coach. I'm the big guy. I'm the champion.

14:30 Only my answers are correct. That's complete bullshit. When the champion gets in the ring, he gladly gives up his belt and he fights for it again. He has given up the championship because he's continuing to strive to the next level. And it's not about the championship belt. It's not about the millions of dollars he gets. And or from the perspective of a pickup artist, it's not about how many girls you get or how good you are. It's about getting better. And it's the journey, as cliche as that sounds, not the destination.

14:59 Now, the third pillar is I will arrive. Once I get there, then I'll be fulfilled. Then I'll be at peace. You know that most people who think that way, they get to the end of their lives having never arrived. They're always like, once this happens, once this happens. And it's insane if you think about it. There are literally people out there in old folks' homes who still think, once this happens, then I could be happy. They're continuously pushing off their happiness because they think, I will arrive.

15:26 I will get there. And it's a delusion that's perpetuated oftentimes by the media. And this is a big problem in the United States where they sell to us these dreams that you'll get the girl, you'll get the money, you'll get the body, and then you'll get happiness. And it's never good enough, right? We're never quite there yet. If you're super ripped, you only focus on that little bit of body fat you have on your lower abs. Because once I get that off, then I can get success, then I can get happiness, but it's an illusion.

16:00 So if you think I will arrive one day, that's actually not the correct philosophy. And I want you to be downright honest with yourself. Here's the correct philosophy. Not meant to arrive. NMTA. And what that basically means is you are never meant to arrive, my friend, because arrival is an illusion. You are always on this journey and your development has no end. And I really want you guys to consider that. My development and your development has no end. I'm not finished yet. And any coach that says he is finished is full of shit.

16:34 It's kind of like the black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu who stops training because he's like, oh, I'm a black belt now. I have arrived. Bullshit. There's always more to learn. There's always more to do. And yes, you can even learn from people below you. A true black belt is willing to learn from a purple belt, a blue belt, or even a white belt. A true dating coach is always trying to improve his content by taking on something that somebody else said, taking on a different philosophy, taking on the next challenge.

17:05 So you may be thinking as I did, well, if I'm not meant to arrive, then how do I enjoy the fruits of my labor? The fruits of your labor should be enjoyed intermittently, which means with balance. So instead of thinking that you're going to push and push and push and kill yourself until you arrive to XYZ place, there always has to be balance. And I like the analogy of like riding a bike. You're never fully in balance when you're riding a bike. You're never perfectly balanced.

17:34 You're always a little bit leaning to the right, a little bit leaning to the left, and you're constantly adjusting to get back into mostly centered. And that's the philosophy of life where you should work hard, enjoy your work, be aggressive, be masculine, but at the same time, take time off. Take time to enjoy the fruits of your labor, and then the journey continues on and on and on. Why is it that when many people retire, they get sick, they get a disease? Why is it that when many people retire, they get depressed?

18:08 Why is it when people win the lottery and get $100 million and don't do anything, they often lose all their money? It's because as men, particularly as those who have testosterone flowing through our veins, we always need the next challenge. The challenge is what fulfills you. Did you know that you are meant to be aggressive? You are meant to get out there and war and fight and scrounge with your blood, sweat, and tears to get to the next level. The problem is when a man doesn't have a positive way to put out his aggression, he will put it out in a negative way.

18:44 And this is why we have dudes who are in prison, dudes who are violent, dudes who can't get out their aggression in a project or something that they're passionate about. So instead do it in a negative way. So the philosophy is you are always on the journey, brother, and I'm on the journey along with you. I don't think I've arrived. Even though I've achieved success in this podcast, I've achieved success in my coaching program, it's not really success to me because I'm always blissfully dissatisfied. And this is a concept created by Ed Milet where, yeah, I'm blissful.

19:20 Yeah, I'm appreciative, but I'm always a little bit unsatisfied. It's that unsatisfaction that keeps you on the trail of self-development. And your satisfaction comes from the little wins that, in some people's perception, is actually a big win. When you get enough money to retire, are you going to keep going or are you going to retire and then lose that all-important happiness? Because happiness doesn't come from arriving to the destination. It comes from continuously being on the journey. Now, certainly the journey may change. Say, for example, I get to a point where I'm tired of talking about women, which I honestly don't see happening for at least several years.

19:55 Then maybe I'll go on to the point of talking more about stuff like this, about spirituality, about other kinds of self-development things because that, too, I'm passionate about. So it isn't always a stagnant journey, but it's always a journey. And whether that takes the form of you become an artist, you become a musician, you become an entrepreneur like I am, or, as a lot of you guys are doing right now, trying to become a girl magnet, that's a phase of your life that is necessary. It's the whole point of life is to struggle and overcome and achieve and then set the next goal.

20:30 Thank God the mountains don't stop at one point until you get to Mount Everest. You keep going up and up and up and there's always a new peak in front of you that you should be going for. What's the point of climbing a mountain? To climb it. Not necessarily to get to the top. When you get to the top, you definitely crack a beer and enjoy that shit, but it's not to get to the top. It's the journey to get up to the top. That's why you are not meant to arrive, brother.

20:51 You just aren't. You can always get better. You can always improve. You can always set the next goal for yourself. What's the point of arriving? How boring is that? Sure, you can enjoy it, get on the beach for a couple weeks and enjoy the margaritas and senoritas, the fruits of your success, but how boring will that become? A lot of us think that that's where I want to get. I just want to be done. I just want to get out of this fucking mess. Instead, why don't you slow down a little bit, enjoy the fruits of your labor, and look at the long haul, the marathon rather than the sprint.

21:24 And believe me, brothers, I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you because I get sucked into that once XYZ thing happens, then I'll be happy. Bullshit, which is just that. It's an illusion. First, we have can't arrive, which means you don't believe in yourself to ever arrive, which is the biggest fucking lie and the first thing that you should be working on. The next one is has arrived. When you have achieved that success, do not stop because you will never arrive fully.

21:53 You'll arrive in small increments to which you should enjoy, but then you need to set the next goal. The next one is will arrive. Once XYZ thing happens, then I'll finally be free. Freedom comes from the journey itself, not from the arrival. And the last one is not meant to arrive. NMTA. This is the journey you should be on. Continuously struggling, continuously putting out your aggression, your masculinity, your testosterone to achieve that next goal and the next best version of yourself. Because I believe that's why we're here.

22:23 We're here to develop. Look at life, dude. What else reason could there be? Sure, it could just be a random collision of molecules and atoms to create these bodies and we just struggle our whole lives only to die and then blackness. I don't believe that shit. I believe there's a creator. I believe there's a purpose. And I believe that purpose is to become the next best version of ourselves. If you really look at the evidence, it's obviously that. And that's what I believe. And that's where this philosophy comes from.

22:57 So I hope it's helped you gentlemen. You're not meant to arrive. So enjoy the journey. Take on the next challenge. Fucking crush it. Get into your masculine energy. Get aggressive and enjoy the shit. Because achieving goals and getting to that next stage is exactly why you're here. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays and I got a lot more ideas like this coming up as well as a bunch of philosophies, techniques, and strategies to get women attracted to you. So please stay tuned for the next one because I ain't done with this journey yet and I'm going to keep fucking going because that's why I'm here.

23:27 Thank you again for listening, gentlemen. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays and I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.