Mark's Bullet Proof Method to Prevent Women From FLAKING ON YOU For a First Date

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Uniform Mike Papa. I really do appreciate you. And today, we are going to talk about something that just gets me so fucking pissed for my boys, gets me pissed for all guys out there, and that is chicks flaking on you, particularly when you show up to the date and they don't even show up.

0:40 Oh my God, how disrespectful is that, right? Like, she agrees to come see you at a date, and then I was just reading this Facebook page. It wasn't my Facebook page, because this doesn't happen to my boys ever, because they use the techniques that I'm going to teach you today. But I was reading a Facebook page where guys are giving each other advice about girls, because, you know, I keep my thumb on the pulse of this industry. And the dude sends her a text like, hey, looking forward to seeing you.

1:02 I'm on the booth on the right. Should I get you a drink or what's going on? And then she just doesn't show up. And I was like, oh, six forehead slaps. One, two, three, four, five, six. I have a way to fucking prevent that. And, brother, if you're listening, I know you're following a different dating coach, so who knows if you even listen to my podcast. But if you do, use this technique right here to prevent girls from doing this to you. Now, sometimes guys will flake on girls, too.

1:29 I think it happens way more rarely, because guys are so horny. They'd fuck the foamy froth in a fat girl's armpit when she's on the Stairmaster, so rarely do they flake on women. But women will oftentimes flake on dudes. And why is that? Let's first get into the psychology of that. So the reason they do it is because they don't want to tell you no. Femininity doesn't like confrontation, for the most part, for the most part. Certainly, there are some women out there that love confrontation.

1:57 But for the most part, when a woman is highly in her feminine energy, and she's, for all intents and purposes, a decent person, she doesn't like to hurt men. She doesn't like to say no. And this is why, too, you can easily get phone numbers without having a ton of attraction. Because you just ask. Women don't want to say no most times, so they'll give it to you and then just block you. Which is why, boys, I always suggest going for the phone number when you have three very clear signs of attraction at the minimum.

2:23 If you don't get those signs of attraction and you get the phone number, it's very unlikely she's actually going to text you back. So I always tell my guys, if you're not getting those signs, then don't even bother asking, because she's probably not going to text you back. And or she's going to flake on you for the date. So what we're going to do in this episode is talk about a texting strategy that I have that really prevents this from happening. And really, you want to make sure that these girls don't dick you around.

2:49 Because when you get good with women, you're going to be dating tons of chicks, and you are probably going to be the one who is more likely to flake. But you don't want to show up to a fucking restaurant and be sitting there, and then the girl doesn't show up. How humiliating and degrading and, frankly, self-esteem-destroying is that? This poor guy on this Facebook page, I just want to reach out to him and be like, bro, listen to this episode. In fact, boys, I might actually do that.

3:15 I might actually do that. I don't oftentimes promote my stuff on other dating coaches' stuff because I think it's disrespectful. But this guy needs a lot of help. He's obviously not getting it. And my heart just absolutely goes out to this dude. I can picture him sitting there. Picture this guy with me, sitting there at a booth at some restaurant all by himself in his nice clothes. He's wearing the collared shirt. He's got the dockers on. He's got his shirt tucked in with a brown belt.

3:43 He's got the nice slippers on. He's shaved his face. His hair is all perfect. He's got the cologne. He's trying to do everything right, but he's just getting blown out left and right. And he doesn't understand why that is. So the first thing, which I alluded to earlier, is you have to get massive attraction from these chicks. Otherwise, they are going to blow you out so hard. Your fucking collared shirt is going to blow off your back when the concussion hits, just like what happened to this poor guy.

4:08 So if you're not getting those signs of attraction, don't even bother. Because you need a substantial amount of attraction for a girl to even go on a date with you. I talked about this in a podcast episode in April. It's called Mark's Step-by-Step Approach to Sex Attraction Matrix with Hot Girls, where I talk about what it takes for a girl to actually text you back, what it takes for her to actually go on a date with you, and it's all about attraction. It's an attraction matrix that goes from zero to ten, and you need to be on a certain point of the scale in order for her to actually go on a date with you.

4:42 So what probably happened with this girl, we're going to look at it from her perspective, okay? She's talking to tons of dudes. This guy hits her up. She likes him pretty good. Maybe he yanked her phone number from an in-person kind of thing, and she got somewhat attracted to him. She's like, yeah, maybe. Or he got her number from Tinder or Hinge or Bumble, which I feel is probably more likely just based on what I saw about this dude. And she's like, yeah, maybe I'll go on a date with him, but then again, maybe I won't.

5:08 We have to understand, boys, that women will often keep you in the dugout as a replacement hitter just in case the one she really wants twists his ankle and isn't able to run to first base. So she's like, ah, Brian blew me out. He can't hang out tonight because Brian is the attractive guy, right? The guy who you're trying to become. Then she calls up the benchwarmer to come in because she has nothing better to do that night. So we have to assume if the woman is of a certain level of attractiveness, and in today's age, the attractiveness requirement is getting lower, when she's at a certain level of attractiveness, she's talking to a certain number of guys.

5:44 Isn't it insane? And a lot of you guys are going to be nodding your head fervently right now. Isn't it fucking ridiculous how freaking canyon mule, sea donkeys, and mountain trolls think they're goddamn tens on the dating apps? Blows my mind, man. And this is why I say too, when you come into my program, our objective is to get rid of the fucking dating apps as soon as possible because the best you're ever going to find on there is maybe an eight if you're lucky. And let's be honest, what kind of girl would need to be on the dating apps?

6:12 If she's really high quality, why does she need to be there? I understand sometimes there's some women who are like in medical school or super busy, real go-getters who don't have time to go out and meet men. But for the most part, chicks on the dating apps think they're way harder than they actually are. They blow dudes out left and right. They fucking flake on dudes for dates and they string you along many times just to get attention from you. So here we are with the bench warmer dude.

6:38 And from her perspective, she's like, yeah, I'll hang out with him if everything else falls apart. So the night comes, they agree to it. She's sitting at home and she's like, ah, that's right. I have that date with Chris. I don't really want to text him. I don't want to hurt his feelings. So I'll just not show up. Right. It's like you look at her reasoning and you're like, what the literal fuck? Why wouldn't you just tell me? So I don't get all dressed up in my collared shirt and my Dockers with the brown belt and the penny loafers that I bought at Macy's for $49.99 on sale.

7:10 Right. I don't want to get all fucking dressed up and come out. Why don't you just tell me? And as men, this is the way we think. We're very logical. And a lot of you guys are like, yeah, women are fucking insane. They're not once you understand their psychology. So she's at home and she's like, I'm not really into it. I'm just going to flake on him. So what we do is we preemptively try to prevent that. First of all, do not take a chick's number unless you get at least three signs of attraction.

7:36 Signs of attraction, as I always talk about on this podcast, are flipping her hair, licking her lips, general deer in the headlights, look in her eyes, facing her body language towards you, invading your personal space, touching you, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, asking you questions about yourself, asking you questions about what you're doing this weekend, which is a huge indicator that she's attracted to you. Even if you're the most thick headed dude that ever lived, you could probably tell when a female is attracted to you.

8:04 Okay. You guys have all had girls attracted to you. Many times girls who you weren't into, and that's a huge tip right there. The less you give a shit, the more they get attracted to you. So you know the signs. So first and foremost, do not take her number unless she's adequately attracted to you, bro tater cuff. Think with your fucking head, not your dick. Be like, I don't think this chick's that into me. So what's going to happen? We're going to text back and forth.

8:27 She may agree to a date, and then she's probably going to flake because coming out for a woman is a lot of fucking work. She has to get herself ready. She has to make sure she feels safe. Maybe she doesn't feel like it. Remember, women go in and out of their emotions. They are sometimes fickle when it comes to keeping their commitments. And for any women listening, relax. I'm not saying all women are like that. I'm saying some are, particularly, by the way, women who are very, very in their feminine energy.

8:53 They're kind of all over the place. So a tub of ice cream may seem better than going out with you, Mr. Docker's leg and Penny low foot. All right? She just ain't into it. So here's what we do. When setting up the date with the woman, what you want to say during some stage of your sequence is I will text you the day of for your address. Or if you're meeting her at the restaurant, you will say, I'll text you the day of with the address of the restaurant.

9:20 This is a non-needy reminder that you two have plans. Okay? So this is what I say. Hey, Sarah, what's your address so I can come pick you up tonight? Okay? If you guys agree that you're going to come pick her up, that's what I send. Now, a little tip before we decide whether or not we're going to meet at the restaurant or I'm going to pick her up is I'll always say, would you feel more comfortable meeting at the restaurant or would you prefer I pick you up?

9:45 This is a gentlemanly thing to do in order to show that you care about her safety. Oftentimes in this podcast, I talk about not to be fucked with, push her away. You don't care what happens. But certain times, boys, you need to throw chivalry into the mix. And I believe I've done an episode about chivalry in the past. But if you haven't heard it, that may be something you want to go listen to. You have to have the right combination, a little bit of chivalry, which would be called pull, pulling her in, and a little bit of false disqualifiers, pushing her away.

10:13 Again, a different topic, but that which I speak about many times in this podcast. So I ask her, hey, would you feel more comfortable meeting there? Or would you prefer if I picked you up? Okay, if she says, no, no, you can come pick me up. That's totally fine. I'll say, cool, I'll text you the day of for your address so I can come do that. Okay, see how I did that? I say, I will text you the day of. Now, the reason why I'm texting her the day of, and when I say the day of, that's obviously the day of the date, is it's a non-needy reminder.

10:42 A non-needy reminder means, hey, I'm not texting to remind you like, hey, don't flay because like, you know, I don't want to show up with my dockers and penny loafers and get blown out so hard. My toupee flies off my head when the concussion hits. So like, don't hurt me, Sarah. Please just show up. I'll buy you a drink. And I swear I'm going to spend all this money on you so that you like me. Please, please, please. Okay, don't be that dude. Instead, say, hey, I'm going to text you the day of for your address so I can come pick you up.

11:07 Or if she says, hey, I'd be more comfortable just to meet there. And that oftentimes happens in my experience from like Tinder and hinge dates where she doesn't know you. When I've met her in person, I'm so good at building rapport, trust and connection as well as attraction that they'll oftentimes say, yeah, come pick me up. And that's a really good thing. I like to drive. I like to kind of be in that control element because as I always say, masculinity needs to lead. So I prefer to pick them up, but it's cool too if they just want to meet at the restaurant.

11:36 I'm cognizant of their safety, which you guys should be as well. So if she says, hey, I'd rather meet at the restaurant, you say, cool, I'll text you the day of with the address so we can meet there. So on the day of around 12 p.m. And by the way, dates usually take place at four, five, six, seven, maybe even 8 p.m., depending on what you guys decide and what works best with your schedule. That day, probably about five to six, seven, maybe even eight hours before the date, I'll say, hey, what's up, Sarah?

12:05 Here's the address of the place. See you there. I'll be the guy dressed as a homeless man. Okay. That's literally what I've said thousands of times. And they always reply back because it's funny. They say, ha, ha, ha, see you there. Now, this significantly reduces the chances of flaking because you guys have confirmed. You've done it in a non-needy way where you're not like, hey, make sure you don't flake on me, okay? Instead, you're like, hey, here's the address. It's a reminder. Now, in the case of picking her up, it's the same thing.

12:34 Eight, seven, six, five hours before you say, hey, what's up, Sarah? What's your address so I can come pick you up? Okay. And she says, this is my address. Then you'll say, cool, I'm bringing my helicopter. Hopefully, you have a helicopter pad on your roof. Wear your helmet or something like that. Or I'll be the dude driving the 1993 Pinto with the burrito decal on the hood. I used to say that shit all the time and it cracks them up. You want to make them laugh. So again, when you confirm, you do it X many hours before, you either give her the address or ask for her address and you say, I'll be the dude dressed as a homeless man.

13:08 If you're meeting her at the restaurant, if you're picking her up at her house, just say you're driving some ghetto ass beater with a burrito decal on the hood and the La Cucaracha horn. Is that it? La Cucaracha? Cucacu. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Right? The horn that does that. All right? So you're that dude. And that goes into what I always talk about, guys. Girls just want to have fun. If you crack them up, maybe even just making them laugh that much more may convince her to come out with you when she otherwise wasn't feeling it.

13:38 Seriously, it could be that much difference. Like she cracks up. She's like, you know, this guy's pretty fun. I'm going to be honest with you about something. I had a really fucking banging girlfriend about 10 years ago. We had the conversation on the phone and I was trying out some techniques. I was trying out this technique, it's so stupid, called the swiveling spotlight technique, where you focus exclusively on her and just ask her a ton of questions. Well, we had that conversation and then at the end, she's like, hey, listen, I just arrived to my place.

14:06 I got to go. So she hangs up the phone and in her mind, she told me this later, she's like, I'm not dating this guy. That was a horrible conversation. And here I am, and this was a decade ago, thinking I'm like Mr. Pickup Artist, right? Like using these techniques and it blew me out. But I continued texting with her and the texting was like on point. At that time, I was really good at texting. So during the texting sequence, she admitted to me later that that convinced her to come out with me.

14:34 And then when I picked her up, I said that funny thing, right? I'm going to be driving the Pinto with the burrito decal in the hood. She thought that was really funny. I showed up, we hit it off, and then we eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend. And this was a really high quality girl. So it's those little things, gentlemen, that will not only perhaps convince them to show up, but also with the non-neediness of the reminder. Because look, you need her address. You need to tell her where the restaurant is.

14:59 So it's a non-needy way to do it. That kind of shit will make them show up. And let's say that you are sitting there and oh shit, she's not showing up, right? Like five minutes goes by, kind of keep looking over your shoulder. A girl walks in who's pretty banging. You're like, ooh, that's her, that's her. And then she just walks by your table. You're like, fuck, that wasn't her. I feel like a goddamn jackass. Then a girl walks in and she's a total honey dip.

15:21 As one of my Australian clients said, the funniest shit I ever read, dude. He's like, right, I'm going for lots of honey dips. Those Australians say some funny ass shit sometimes. So this honey dip walks in and you're like, oh, that's my honey dip right there. And then again, man, she just passes your table and you're like Jim Carrey and dumb and dumber. And you waited like six hours for this chick. And you're just a goddamn jackass. Here's my thing. I wait 10 minutes and then I bounce.

15:47 If she shows up over 10 minutes late and she texts me, she's like, where are you? I'd be like, I left. You didn't show up. Or I'd probably call her and be like, yeah, I dipped out. I didn't think you were coming. And she's like, oh, I'm sorry, right? My cat got diarrhea. My grandma was unceremoniously launched out of the city by catapult. And I had to go scoop her out of the ocean. Whatever her bullshit excuse is, you're like, oh, no worries. Well, anyway, I'm doing something else.

16:09 So we'll have to catch up some other time. Honestly, I think it's disrespectful if she's going to be more than 10 minutes late, especially if she didn't text me. Now, if she texts you, she's like, hey, I'm going to be 20 minutes late. I'd still be like, hey, listen, that's kind of a deal breaker for me. No hard feelings. Maybe we'll catch up some other time. You guys need to show these women that you are not to be fucked with and that your time is valuable. So 10 minutes, man.

16:32 I feel that's plenty. And if she can't show up on time, then I'm sorry. You're all blown out. Maybe we'll do it some other time. And then you got to go through the whole sequence again, set up the date. And you may be sitting there thinking, dude, 10 minutes, that's nothing. It's something. Because if she shows up 15 minutes late and you're still sitting there, that's a massive sign that your time can be disrespected. Look, I don't like it either. I don't like it when chicks do this kind of shit.

16:56 They play games. They do these things. And we play games, too. We're not disrespectful. We don't waste their time. But we play games. And so do women. And I get emails all the time. It's like, I can't believe you're teaching guys how to play games. Come the fuck on. You guys play games, too, dude. It's a game. That's why they call it game. So get over yourself and just get good at the fucking game and master it. If she disrespects you by waiting over 10 minutes, that's highly disrespectful, in my opinion.

17:22 And you need to show her you're not to be fucked with. And yeah, it's a hassle. You got your fucking dockers and penny loafers. I get it. But you still need to do sometimes what's hard and what you don't want to do to make a goddamn point. Then moving forward, if she proves worthy to get back into the bucket, you can let her in. And she's going to know from then on that you're not to be fucked with. If she's late, you're bouncing. You got other shit to do.

17:45 I'm sorry. I'm not going to sit around waiting for you. So the non-needy confirmation is, in my experience, the absolute best way to prevent a girl from flaking on you. As I slightly alluded to earlier, if you get the feeling that this girl is flaky, you could say something like this. Hey, listen, I have a really busy day today. I'm barely going to make it, but I am going to show up on time. If you can't come, please do let me know. Okay, something like that.

18:12 So sometimes you look at the girl's Facebook page and her goddamn room looks like a hovel. You've heard rumors about her that she's more unreliable than your morning cornflakes. And you're just feeling to yourself, I just feel like this girl's going to flake. You could do something preemptive like that. Hey, I'm running a really busy schedule, but I'm going to keep my word and I'm going to be there. I'd really appreciate it if you do the same thing. I don't have a problem with you saying that.

18:36 But again, the non-needy confirmation is usually enough for her to know that, okay, I'm meeting this dude. If I do have to flake on him, which does happen sometimes, at least I'm going to tell him. And then you could keep your penny loafers in the closet and go call up some other chick. And by the way, wearing penny loafers and dockers and a tucked in collared shirt on a date, I don't agree with it. I think that's a really bad call. Go check out my style guide where I talk about what to wear on a first date.

19:03 I even think I did a specific episode on that. So check that out if you have time. Super fucking important because you don't want to look too try hard now. You don't want to look like this is the most important thing to you, but you don't want to be dressed like that homeless man that I jokingly talked about earlier as well. There's a fine balance. So I hope that helps you, gentlemen. Remember, you are the prize, okay? You are the fucking champion. Honestly, how many guys listen to podcasts like this one?

19:29 How many guys are genuinely trying to improve themselves? And what I tell my clients all the time is I'm like, most guys do not invest in themselves in this way. Most guys are not working on themselves in this way. Most guys don't give a fuck. They just accept themselves how they are, think they can't improve, and they just get the same results over and over again. You guys are different. You guys are investing in yourself. You guys are fucking champions. And you need to think that about yourself.

19:53 Because when you're thinking about yourself, it's reflected in your behavior, body language, and tonality. And then women can't help but agree with you that you are a fucking champion. So you too, bro, you're listening to podcasts. Hey, that's a pretty big deal, especially 24 minutes in or whatever it is. I think you need to smack yourself on the ass because you are a goddamn fucking champion. If you'd like to meet with me and my team to talk about coming to join us in my three-month coaching program, go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com.

20:19 Click on coaching, fill in the quick application, and you and my boy, Victor Lynch, my wingman, my partner, a fucking champion of the highest degree, who too has been through the program, will meet on a one-on-one NLP-based Zoom call to see if I can at least 10X your results with women. That's right, 10 fucking X. We are going to assess that. If we can, get ready, brother. It's going to be a complete ass parade, as my friend Aaron always says. Gentlemen, I really do appreciate you listening, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.