Why Women Are Shaming and Cancelling Men and How to Deal With Being Labeled an "Incel"

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Uniform Mike Papa, the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, we are going to talk about why women are shaming and canceling men for not only looking at them at the gym, but also this concept of incel, which means involuntary celibate, which a lot of you guys listening might be, and how people are shaming guys like this, how people are shaming guys like me who teach guys like you how to become better with women.

0:49 And this is something that is really rampant in society right now. And I want to give you some props. I want to smack you upside the ass and tell you you're a fucking champion because when you're trying to improve yourself because you're not able to attract women, which isn't your fault. I want to be the guy that tells you it is not your fault, brother. I want to give you a big fucking hug because I too was that guy and guys like us, we don't get enough support in this society.

1:14 In fact, we're shamed endlessly by such things as girls dressing scantily, going to the gym, recording guys, checking them out, and then shaming them on public avenues like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc. Then people coming onto my podcast and insulting me because I'm trying to teach guys like you how to get better with women. If you are on iTunes and you look into some of the comments, and I don't like to look at the negative comments, I don't like to reward them. But since this goes into the topic of today's discussion, I will mention it.

1:45 You get people mentioning how it's incel garbage. And once again, incel means involuntary celibate. And then you even get stars like Olivia Wilde saying that men who can't attract women should be ashamed of themselves and are pieces of shit. And there's a whole movement in society kind of against guys like us, like straight men who aren't able to get women. And I want to talk about how not only is that complete bullshit, but what you're doing trying to better yourself is not only the right call, but also the way out of this suffering to become the dude who you want to become.

2:18 And to really forgive yourself, man, for not being good with women because we're all there. Like who the fuck teaches us how to do this shit? Do they pull us aside in fifth grade and say, all right, buddy, this is how to attract a woman? No, it's completely and utterly counterintuitive. The way you make somebody like you is not the way you make a woman like you. So what the fuck are we supposed to do? We get sent off into high school, college and beyond not knowing what we're doing.

2:43 And for those of us who weren't born naturally attractive, we have a lot of things working against us. Not only perhaps the way we look, but then the way we look amounts to low confidence, low self-esteem, a weak frame, not knowing what to do with women on the first date, which results in further rejections. Then we fear women and women can pick up on that when we go approach them. Then women begin to despise us and we begin to despise women. Then we end up being quote unquote incels, involuntary celibates.

3:13 And a lot of us are like, fuck women. I want nothing to do with them. So we're going to talk about that today, gentlemen. And the reason I thought about this was it seems to me that things always happen in serendipitous ways where I'm shown videos in my feed or I read certain emails from listeners or certain clients ask me questions or I'll read a review on my podcast that just really strikes a chord with me. Now, this one's for AndyPT12. What is up, brother? And he writes, and this is just a review on iTunes.

3:42 He says, greatest podcast out there. All men must listen to this ASAP. I read the negative comments and shake my head at these idiots that get butthurt by anyone trying to help men become the best version of themselves. Andy, I cannot agree with that enough. That is exactly how I see it. I've been called creepy before. I've had people say that you guys are creepy because you listen to dudes like me who are just honestly and genuinely and with love trying to help you. And people say we're creepy for doing this.

4:10 But as I said earlier, nobody taught us this shit. So is it creepy to learn how to attract women to become the best version of yourself to behave as you would behave if you were simply attractive to women to begin with? Or is it more creepy not to learn this shit and just continue getting the dismal results and creeping out girls when you approach them because you don't know what you're doing? I think it's the latter. I think it's way more creepy not to learn this shit.

4:36 So when people rip on me and rip on you for listening to me, I just shake my head the way Andy did and just say, dude, you're an idiot, bro. You don't fucking get it. And all you're doing is adding to the hate that is bringing society down to begin with. I talked about in a recent episode how I want you guys to be extremely careful about what you think because your thoughts are creative. I don't care if you're spiritual or not. You have to admit that the evidence of your life dictates that your thoughts are creative.

5:04 Everything you have in your life began as a thought. So when you start thinking about how people are losers who don't get chicks or this world is going to hell in a handbasket, you're helping to create that. So there's a giant movement that's supporting gay rights and transgenders and gender fluidity. The last one being the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. There's a big movement supporting that and a lot of that I agree with. I believe if you're fucking gay, go get your butt sex.

5:31 Just don't involve me and please don't throw it in my face. If you're a female, I'm all about women's rights. I'm all about equality and all that good stuff. I think women are beautiful, absolutely amazing beings. I think they have so many positive attributes about them. And a little tip here, brothers, if you're afraid of women, your chances of rejection go up exponentially, which is why I teach in my program how to ease into approaching women very systematically so that you don't get rejected. Well, going back to my point, there's so many groups out there that say they're marginalized and so many groups out there that say that they're suffering.

6:05 But never does anybody look at you guys as a group. Now, some of you may say, well, I'm not part of that group. Okay, fine. So this is for the guys who are part of that group who struggle mightily to get better with women, have encountered rejection after rejection, are struggling with things like low self-esteem, bad belief systems, bad frame in front of women, have experienced women doing shitty things to them, rejecting them, have experienced wanting to completely get out of this fucking game and just go buy a Silicon Love doll and fuck that thing on a Friday night because you can't get a real girl into your bed.

6:38 Those guys are suffering. Jordan Peterson, who I'm sure a lot of you guys have heard of, he's a guy who really supports guys like us who are trying to come up and better ourselves because we were dealt a hand in life that honestly wasn't the best hand. And we're trying to make the meanest hand possible. But for some of us, it's not that easy. You know, some of us are just naturally kind of unattractive and we don't get girls as easily as other dudes do. And that fucking hurts.

7:04 So the first thing I want to say, brother, is I got your back. I fucking love you, man. I know you can do this because no matter what you look like or what type of issues you think it might have or what things are holding you back, you can ascend to the level where you can become attractive to women. I was talking to this really banging girl the other day and she looked at me with a straight face and she's like, everything is easy for you because you're a white male in today's society.

7:28 So I just looked at her as I would look at a six-year-old who just told me my pants are stupid or my helmet was stupid when I'm a Spartan after battle. And I just kind of laughed and I changed the subject. But that's the philosophy that's going on in today's age. People think that our lives are easy because we're men, we're heterosexual, and it should just work out for us. And if it doesn't work out for you, it's your fucking fault. You're an incel, you're a piece of shit, and you shouldn't cry about it because it's 100% your fault.

7:55 I fucking disagree with that. You were born in a day and age where you were given a set of negative belief systems, traumas, archetypes, and metaprograms that have you in this position. Now, the one thing I do agree, which is your fault, is if you don't take means to try to fix it, which all of you guys are doing by trying to listen to this podcast. But more importantly, those guys who come into my program, fucking champions. And I love every single one of those guys with every fiber of my being.

8:23 And I bend over backwards to make sure that they don't have to suffer as all of us have suffered through the years by being an involuntary celibate. And I'm here to support you, brother. I'm here to let you know that you can fix this shit. But first and foremost, and this is my first message for you, stop feeling guilty. Stop buying into the hatred that's coming at guys like you and me who weren't born naturally good with women, who may come off a little bit creepy sometimes, who have low self-esteem, who don't have frame and don't understand the fucking rules.

8:54 Because, no, we weren't pulled aside in middle school and taught the rules of seduction. So how are you supposed to know? So the first step is forgiveness. And don't buy into what other people have labeled you as. Don't buy into the, oh, you're a loser because you're not naturally attractive to women. Some of the best pickup artists I've ever met were guys just like me and you who were horrible, absolutely horrendous with women when they first started out, but learned about it, took the travails they went through and made themselves into the best fucking version of themselves they possibly could, and then became insanely attractive to women.

9:30 You know, all those guys out there that are dating coaches, you got Trip Kramer, Dan Bacon, Mark Singh, Todd Valentine, Owen Cook, the guy who started Real Social Dynamics. What do all those dudes have in common? We were all absolutely, unbelievably horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible with women. But through our travails, through actually leveraging those bad things that happened to us through our childhood, people talking shit about us, all the rejections we've endured from women, we were able to better ourselves. So the first thing, again, is to forgive yourself.

10:04 The second thing is to know that people who hate on you only hate themselves. Anybody who would leave a one-star review on a podcast and say that it's incel garbage has issues going on with himself. And honestly, I feel bad for the dude because honestly, he's probably just like us. He's suffering. He doesn't know what's going on. He's got a lot of hatred. And instead of joining us, he's lashing out at us because that's the way that he's trying to heal himself. Sometimes it feels good when you're feeling like shit to try to make other people feel like shit.

10:34 Then you have a girl like Olivia Wilde. I don't know if you've ever seen her. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's amazing. And she lashes out at these dudes, calling them incels. What's going on with Olivia Wilde? Tell you. And I think you know. Insecurity. Anytime anybody would lash out at another, trying to make them feel bad. And yes, that includes lashing out at quote-unquote marginalized people like gays, transgenders, blacks, whatever it is that people are lashing out against. It's because they feel like shit within themselves, and they're trying to make that person feel like shit too.

11:07 So Olivia Wilde, I don't even need to know anything about her. The fact that she called guys like us incels and for us to go get a life and we're pieces of shit, that tells me that she has insecurities within herself. And if I'm to take the higher road in this situation, which I'm always trying to do, especially lately, I feel bad for her because she's got a lot of shit going on. She's getting older. Maybe her looks are getting ravaged by old age, and she's thinking, God, I'm losing this.

11:33 I hate this feeling. Let me lash out at people who have less than me so I can feel bigger, better, inflate my ego as compared to them. And anytime you lash out in something inside somebody else, that's because, brother, you have it inside of you. That's why anytime I get hatred, snide comments, bad reviews, I always know there's something inside me. There's something going on in this niche that resonates with that person that they hate within themselves, but that which they have not identified yet and certainly haven't worked on.

12:05 Because had they been working on it, they would have transcended past it, and they certainly wouldn't have lashed out with hate to guys like you and me. Okay, now we have women who go into the gym who dress scantily and then mock guys and berate them for looking at them. You guys may have seen this on TikTok. I actually did a short Instagram video on it where you get these super fine chicks who dress in their yoga pants and their crop tops go into the gym, and they're actually filming dudes checking them out, posting it on social media platforms, and berating these guys and trying to cancel them.

12:38 Why do they do that? Do they do that because they feel the peace and abundance within themselves? Do they feel enthusiastic and loving about life and all sentient beings? Of course not. It's only those people who feel very bad indeed that would try to bring somebody down and make that person hurt. So we have these girls who come into the gym who are doing two things. They're first of all dressing scantily. Why are they doing that? Because they want attention. Women love attention, but when it gets to that level, you have to ask yourself, is that healthy?

13:08 Maybe for some girls it is. You know, they're just flaunting their feminine beauty, and frankly, I love it, and I'm going to get to that in a second. But there's the other more dysfunctional aspect of it is when they try to shame guys for checking them out. Here's my theory on it, okay? You are given a gigantic hit of serotonin when you look at a beautiful woman. You are designed that way. You are meant to look at beautiful women. We are very visual creatures, us men.

13:34 So it's our job, it's our duty, it's who you are as a man to look at beautiful women and to appreciate them. But rather than looking at them like a piece of steak that you want to devour, do as I do. Look at them like you would a beautiful sunset, a beautiful flower. Something to say, my God, that girl is beautiful. But don't leer at them, obviously. Don't stare at them creepily as you imagine getting them from behind, which, honestly, we all do from time to time.

14:00 We can't help it. We're men. This is how you're designed. So once again, forgive yourself, okay? You are attracted to women, and that's okay, brother. It's okay to look at a girl's nice breasts and say, oh, my God, I'd love to see those. In fact, it's been scientifically proven that women look at men's body as a whole, and men look at women's bodies as parts. So we see a butt. We see legs. We see a tummy. We see tits. We see face. We see hair, et cetera, all individualized.

14:30 Why? Why do we do this, and why can you forgive yourself for doing this? Because it's your nature. You are designed to look at a woman and see how healthy she is to have a baby. That's what it's all wrapped up in. So when we look at her parts, we're assessing her health status, her immune system capability, and her youth as to how likely it is she can have a healthy baby. So we look at good breasts, and we're like, ooh, I want to have sex with her because she has bang-in breasts.

14:56 What do bang-in breasts communicate? That she can hold a lot of milk, that she can feed a baby. What does a nice breast-to-hip ratio communicate? That she can carry a baby to term and have a healthy baby. What does nice skin communicate? That she's healthy, a strong immune system. Nice hair, nice teeth, clear eyes. All immune system-based, so she can have a healthy baby. So the next time you go into the gym, and you see this girl take off her sweatshirt, and she's got these perfect fucking tits and a crop top on, look at it.

15:25 It's okay. But don't leer. Don't look at her like a piece of steak. Admire it and say, my God, you're beautiful. And actually, boys, for those of you who have resentment towards women, this is something I strongly suggest. Send her a blessing and be like, sweetie, you are so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for working out, taking care of yourself. Thank you for just being here. And in a way, boys, I even tell them, man, I love you. I love women. You guys are so fucking beautiful.

15:52 I love the sacred feminine, and that's the way I look at it. But because some women, and I'm not saying all women, I'm saying some women, are fundamentally insecure, some of them may want to do things that shame guys like you and us. So, yeah, you can glance, take a look. Oftentimes, what I'll do, and I'm not embarrassed to admit this, I'm a dude, and you guys are too, except for those females listening, sometimes I'll look and kind of like take a mental picture, and then I'll look at that for a few more seconds, right?

16:17 Because it's just beautiful, man. We just love it. And we get a hit of serotonin. So, it's not your fault to be attracted to a beautiful woman, and for God's sakes, brother, man to man, brother to brother, heart to heart, it is not your fault that you may not be good with women or as good as you want to be with women because we weren't taught this shit. All of us didn't get through life retaining that natural self-esteem that we were born with so that we could be confident with ourself.

16:45 A lot of shit happened to you, brother. You've been through fucking war, and if you're still here, I salute you, man. Why? Because you haven't fucking given up. You have a never quit attitude. You are never out of the fight. How do I know this is true? Because you're listening to this right now, and I'm talking to you, and I'm in the same boat. I'll never fucking quit. You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit, just like the poster that hangs right outside my bathroom that I see every day.

17:08 You may see me struggle, but you'll never see me quit. So, brother, you are a hero. You are a fucking warrior. You are a dude who should be proud of himself, and for all the things that you've been through that have made you unattractive to women, please, man, please forgive yourself. I forgive you just as I forgive myself for not being good with women. And know that you can improve this by simply moving into your fears, facing those things that you may be afraid to face, dealing with those traumas, archetypes, schemas, and issues that you've been through in your life.

17:41 You can transcend to the level where you are the dude who gets all the girls. And then what should you do? Rather than insulting guys who aren't able to do it, rather than looking down on them and saying they're incel pieces of garbage, you say, hey, brother, here's a lending hand. Let me get you out of this fucking rut and get you to the top of the mountain because it is worth it. So, guys, there's a lot of hatred out there towards you, and I want to let you know that I'm one of the few dudes that has your back.

18:09 Look, I will continue producing this podcast. I will continue trying to help guys like you. I will continue with my program, with open arms, inviting you to become a girl magnet because you can get through this, and where you're at now does not dictate who you are as a man. In fact, in my opinion, it sets the stage for greatness. Okay, you're not great now. That's okay. Nobody taught you the rules. You were given a bunch of garbage belief systems by people who themselves had garbage belief systems like your mom and your dad.

18:39 What the fuck were you supposed to do, brother? Listen to this, and I want you to listen closely. I know we're getting 20 minutes in. Some of you losing concentration now. I would be in your exact same situation if I was born into your body with your mentality, with your family, with your experiences. And you, brother, would be sitting here behind this microphone if you were born into my body, in my soul, with my family, in my circumstances. Yeah, I've been through a lot of shit, but I was given the motivation to persevere past it, and now I'm here.

19:09 You were given a lot of shit, and the real question for you is this. Will you transcend past it, or will you let it drag you down? That's the one point where your decision makes all the difference. So, yeah, some of us might be incels. Some of us might have been shamed on TikTok because we stared at a girl's ass at the gym, who, again, was fundamentally insecure and very negative to do that to a dude. But you know what? That's the old you. Let's transcend past it.

19:35 Let's move into a better version of ourselves and realize that anytime anybody tries to shame you for either being bad with women or for listening to a podcast like this one or, for God's sakes, coming into a program like mine and trying to better yourself, know that that person is hurting deep inside of who they are, and what you're doing is the absolute best decision you could ever make with your life. Let's improve ourselves. Let's move past this. And finally, boys, remember, people who throw hatred at you are suffering to a deep level.

20:08 So don't hate them back because that's just more hatred, isn't it? Instead, have compassion for them because they, too, are suffering. Yeah, Andy, the dude who left the review, there's a lot of idiots that spew negativity at me, but deep inside, man, those people are suffering. So we have to be compassionate with them and know that they, too, are hurting badly. We don't need more hurt in this world. We need to start healing because there's enough negativity, there's enough insecurity, and people trying to bring each other down so they can feel up.

20:36 Fuck all that, dude. We're past that. Let's move to a higher level and bring each other up no matter where they are or where they're coming from. Even Olivia Wilde, who was hating on guys like you and me. Olivia, I send you love, sister, because you're probably hurting very deeply, and I hope that you're able to transcend past that. Gentlemen, I hope this has been somewhat healing for you. This has just been something that's been on my mind, and, you know, sometimes I get off the coaching calls with my boys, and honestly, man, sometimes I kind of shed a tear because I see all the pain these guys have been through.

21:06 I create their NLP protocols for them, and I hear about trauma after trauma after trauma, and it hurts, dude, because I've been there, too. But that's my purpose here, man, and I can fucking take it. I can take it. Let me take that baggage for you and help you heal, help you get to the top of the mountain because that's my purpose here, and I can do it just like you can do it. I believe in you, so believe in yourself, brother. Much love. You're a fucking champion.

21:31 Smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, your balls fly up and hit the brim of your hat because you are a goddamn fucking legend. I do appreciate you listening, gentlemen. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.