My Absolute Favorite Way to Approach a Girl: (The I.2.D. Method)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another ass-kicking episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast. Really do appreciate you tuning in, and today we're going to talk about one of my favorite things, and that's approaching girls. A lot of you guys are so damn afraid to approach girls, and the method I'm going to give you today is my absolute favorite method.

0:39 But, bro, it takes some balls now. It takes those silver-clad cojones the size of bowling balls clanging between your two legs. And as you walk, it's just like clang, clang, clang, like a goddamn bell on the beach in Massachusetts. That's what a legend you are, takes these kinds of balls. But listen, once you do this, you realize that it doesn't actually take that much balls. It's actually pretty damn easy, and girls absolutely light up when you do this, most of the time. Not all the time, which is why some of you guys are afraid.

1:10 But most of the time, they really like this, they appreciate it, and it cuts to the fucking chase. We're not going to waste time trying to go under the radar with some indirect approach to waste 30 minutes of our time just to find out at the end of that 30 minutes that she has a boyfriend. So this cuts straight to the chase, shows your confidence, shows your balls. And yes, even if you're insecure, even if you have like a 10 out of the 10 approach anxiety, I'm going to teach you how to warm up to this.

1:35 I'm going to teach you how to work up to it so that you can do this confidently and do it even if you are in a horrible place right now. So no matter where you're at, I want you to listen. I want you to focus on this Thursday morning because you deserve this awesome technique. Before I jump into the content, you know what I got to do, right? You know I got to read one of these myriad of testimonials that just keep coming into my inbox.

1:59 I swear to God, I've been getting two a day lately. Every single guy who comes through my program and does the fucking work gets these results. And this is from my boy, Todd B. Todd, big salute to you, brother. This guy, when I first met him, I hate to say it, Todd, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but he was like the quintessential kind of guy that doesn't get girls. Super quiet, a little bit goofy looking, and Todd, you know that too, and you'd be laughing about this if you heard me say it, and he'd say it himself.

2:26 But, dude, it was like a freaking transformation over the three months. This guy became the alpha upon alphas, the silverback, Todd. And I'm so goddamn proud of you, man. Absolutely one of my favorite clients I've ever had, just a champion, because he manned up and did what he was afraid to do and realized that fear is false evidence appearing real. It wasn't nearly as scary as he made it out to be in his head. And you could still be an introvert. You could still be a little bit goofy.

2:54 You could still be a business professional and just like your World of Warcraft and your top ramen noodles and your home time alone. There's girls out there that like that kind of guy. So, I'm not trying to change you into some spazzy Mark Singh extrovert. I'm trying to just make you believe in yourself. So, let's read what Todd has to say, and then we'll jump into the content. Todd says, Thanks to Mark's NLP and his legendary commitment and enthusiasm for his clients, I am now a man of action when it comes to women.

3:30 I approach women everywhere I go. I attract women everywhere I go. And I'm getting the success I've always dreamed of. Guys, listen to this. This was easily the best investment I have ever made in myself. And I can't thank Mark enough. Todd, thank you so much, man. I really do appreciate you. And that's what I do for my boys. My purpose here is to help guys achieve success with women. And I'm open to you right now. And I want to invite you to come join us in the brotherhood and get the same success that Todd got.

4:01 You guys know what to do. You've heard me say it a million times. Go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com. Click on coaching. Fill in the quick application in you, and I will get on a free one-on-one call together to see if I'm a good fit for you and you're a good fit for me. If we are, I 100% guarantee you two will get these same results. Getting the women you've always desired is so worth it. So unbelievably worth it. And I want to give that to you too, brother.

4:25 But I don't know who you are. I've never met you. You know me, but I don't know you. So you got to make the move first, man. You got to come towards me because I'm opening the door. It's open. See it over there? It's open. Go walk through it, man. Walk through that door. Give it a knock. There you go. Go on through there, and you and I will meet on this one-on-one session together. All right, boys. I really want to deliver the goods today. So what we're going to talk about is my I2D method that's called indirect to direct approach method, the absolute most gangster way to approach a girl, in my opinion.

4:57 So we're going to ease into this like an old man into a warm bath, and I'm going to teach you first what it is. Then I'm going to teach you how we can warm up to it. Okay, so there's two different methods when it comes to approaching women. There's indirect and there's direct, and they are exactly as they sound. Indirect is you ask her an innocuous question. You just BS with her. You just try to get to know her, and then you use attraction-building techniques to get her attracted to you, and then pretend, quote-unquote, that you're getting attracted to her, get her phone number, and take her on a date.

5:29 And make no mistake, I use this technique too, particularly when I'm running what I call a campaign. Okay, a campaign is when I'm going to see the girl multiple times over a long period of time, in which case I do not like to do a direct approach, which I'm going to tell you what that is in a minute. Instead, I do indirect, just get to know her, build up some rapport over time, build up some trust, get her attracted to me with my techniques, pre-selection, everything else I do, then get her phone number.

5:56 But when it's quick, I'm talking, you see her walking down the street, you see her in the supermarket, you'll know you'll never see her again, you're at Starbucks, Jamba Juice, or a nightclub, or a bar, or you're in New York City, and there's a girl walking towards you, and you need something to say, this is what I do. I do direct approach. And direct approach is basically telling her, hey, I thought you were cute, had to come meet you, I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did.

6:23 My name is Mark, what's up, what's your name? Okay, I've done that freaking so many times, I can't even tell you, it works. And for all my boys, and I remember Todd too, Todd was so scared to do this. But the first time he did it, he came to the coaching call and he was like, dude, I did it. He was on cloud nine and it went absolutely great for him. So if Todd can do it, believe me, boys, you can do it too. So once again, direct approach is letting her know you think she's cute and you had to come meet her.

6:49 This is excellent for the bars and the nightclubs. It's excellent when she's walking and she doesn't have a lot of time to talk to you and or when you're never going to see the girl again, you just let her know you thought she was cute. You wanted to come meet her. I even say sometimes and see if you were interesting. For example, last weekend I was in the nightclub and I like to go to the nightclubs with my hot girlfriends. Why? Because it stacks the chips in my favor.

7:13 If any of you guys have ever been to a nightclub with a hot girl, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your attractiveness goes up by 2000%. It's almost like cheat code kind of level shit. So a lot of girls were jocking me because they were jocking me. I could go up to them and say something such as, hey, what's up? What's your name? I thought you were cute. Wanted to come over here and see if you were interesting. And then she knows that I'm the selector and I'm the one coming up to her under that pretense.

7:40 Okay, but also when you do this, let's say you meet a girl in the street or she's jogging or like just a hot girl happens to be at the supermarket, which has happened to me many times when I looked my absolute worst. When you roll up confidently and are unapologetic about you thinking she's cute and you wanted to meet her, that communicates so many attractive things. It communicates confidence. It communicates self-belief. It communicates that you think you're enough. So the very simple direct approach is, hey, I thought you were cute, had to come meet you.

8:14 I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did. My name's blank. What's up? What's your name? And then you stick out your hand and you can shake your hand. Now, obviously, you should have another question ready based on the environment. Okay, if she's sitting there holding a Starbucks cup, you could talk about the damn Starbucks. Like what kind of drink is that? Is that good? Or if she's shopping at the grocery store, you could be like, so what are you making us tonight?

8:36 Okay, anything that fits the pretense of the situation you're in, you can do with a direct approach. Another direct approach you can do is straight up tell her you're nervous. And this is what I have many of my clients do, and it works very well. Hey, I'm a little bit nervous right now, but I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did this. I thought you were cute and had to come meet you. My name's Mark. What's up with your name? Stick out your hand.

8:59 Shake your hand. She says, I'm Jessica. Cool, Jessica. So, hey, I've never seen you in here before. Are you from around here? And remember, boys, it's all about your tonality. It's all about how you present it, which I'm going to teach you how to warm up into this in a moment. Okay, so these are direct approaches. You can tell her I'm nervous. That's totally fine. It's kind of endearing to women. I've been told, talk to my girlfriends a lot about this. I'm like, if a guy tells you he's nervous, how would that feel to you?

9:26 They think it's kind of sweet and cute that he would overcome his fear in order just to meet her. Okay, so you can say that. I like to say I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day. And what I also like to say is I wanted to come over here and see if you were interesting. So here's what I usually say in the bars and the nightclubs, particularly when I'm already winning a lot or even out in public, stop a girl who's walking by at the mall, wherever it happens to be.

9:53 Hey, hey, real quick. Had to let you know. I thought you were really cute. Wanted to come meet you and see if you were interesting. My name is Mark. What's up? It's your name. Okay, and you notice from my tonality, my tone kind of goes down. Now, I'm not being condescending towards women, as I've said a trillion times on this podcast, but you kind of want to make it like you're the authority and she's the one submitting the application. Or my favorite analogy is you're the coach on the soccer team.

10:18 She's a 12-year-old girl on your soccer team. And you say, hey, Kelly, grab the other girls, bring them over here. We're going to run some laps. And you can literally mindfuck yourself that this girl is 12 years old and you're like the teacher or you're the employer and she's your employee. Talk to her like that. Especially when you say, hey, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? It's like you expect for her to talk to you.

10:43 You are worthy. You are enough. You are the hot girl. And she's the one submitting the application. That's the vibe I want you guys to have. Unapologetically approach her. Let her know you think she's cute and you wanted to come see if she was interesting. Because what does that communicate? It communicates that, yeah, you have one checkmark that you've ticked off of 10 boxes, but that's just one. There's nine other ones. I need to see if you're interesting. I need to see if you're loyal. I need to see if you're funny.

11:10 Do you have a good sense of humor? Are you a cool person? What's your objective in life? Do you have a good job? Are you trying to go somewhere? Do you smoke? And no, boys. If she smokes, she pokes. I've heard that many times. Chicks that smoke, out when it comes to the Mark Singh checklist. Completely gone. Kick rocks with your head down. Because when you kiss these chicks, it's like kissing an ashtray. And if you smoke, brother, I hate to question you, but I question your will to live.

11:34 You do not have 100% will to live if you fucking smoke. Because you know that shit's killing you. I don't understand how people can do it. Quit that shit. Go get on Nick a Red or Nick a Patch or whatever the fuck. Quit it. It's horrible for you. And a chick smokes, she's out. So I want to know, do you make the cut? So when I go up to her and I say, hey, I thought you were cute. I wanted to come meet you and see if you were interesting.

11:55 It communicates that. Okay, so let's go back to the 10,000 foot level. We have two different opens. We have indirect, which is, hey, where are the watermelons? Where'd you get that Starbucks? Hey, I like your shoes. Hey, I've never seen you before. What's your name? Then there's direct. Hey, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? Okay, so we have two different approaches. Now, my favorite approach is to combine those two.

12:22 Okay, so what I love to do, and there's a reason I do this, I'm going to tell you in a minute, is I start with indirect, and then I go to direct. So the indirect approach is anything. Where's the olive oil? Where's the freeway? Where's the Starbucks? What's the meaning of life? Okay, so whatever the indirect method is, I just go up and ask a stupid question. Okay, I met this girl the other day at the gas station. She had a super fluffy steering wheel. It was like this insane steering wheel cover on her car.

12:48 So I went up and I was like, what's up with that steering wheel? Can you even get your hand around that thing? And she laughed and she's like, oh, I got it at Walmart. Whatever, whatever the question is, just see something and ask her about it. And what I like to do specifically is ask her for like where the freeway is, where's Starbucks, where's the nightclubs around here, what bartender is the coolest bartender, things like that. Things that, again, relate to the situation at hand. Okay, so let's say I am in a supermarket, which I love doing supermarket game.

13:18 In fact, I have a ton of openers when it comes to supermarket stuff, which of course I give my boys in the three month coaching program, but maybe I'll do a podcast episode about it and share some of them with you guys here because meeting girls in the supermarket is an awesome place to meet chicks. I don't know why more dudes don't do it. Frickin Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Sprouts, and here in Colorado, we have a supermarket called King Supers. Oh, dude, I've met so many girls there.

13:43 In fact, I met my current girlfriend, Marissa, in King Supers. She was looking at peaches, bro. And I went up and I asked her about the peaches, which is an indirect approach. I said to her, how are the peaches today? Last week, they weren't ripe at all. Not the greatest approach, but it got my foot in the door. Okay. Then after I do the indirect and she answers, for example, hey, do you know where the olive oil is? She's like, oh yeah, I think it's over there on aisle 10.

14:08 You say, you know what? I know where the olive oil is. I've actually been shopping here for five years, but I thought you were cute, wanted to meet you, had no reason to come talk to you. So that's why I said that. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Now, you may think, dude, why would you do that? Why would you do indirect to direct? Reason is, is because I want to get a temperature on her. I want to see how she talks. I want to see what her voice is like.

14:31 I want to see if like she reacts in a super negative way. I actually did this the other day. I was going to do an indirect to direct. I was like, hey, a real, real quick question for you. And she's like, what? And I was like, uh, nevermind, dude. I walked off because this chick was like demon breath, fricking negative energy times a thousand. So guys, just because she's hot, don't give her so much credit. This is why I like to do indirect because if she's really sweet, if she smiles and has nice teeth, she talks really sweetly and she just seems like a cool girl.

15:01 Then I can go into the direct. If on the other hand, she's a fucking sea bass or a canyon mule or a mountain troll, and she's got the breath of a homeless man's armpit, I'm out like sauerkraut. And I'm like, hey, thanks. So if I ask her, hey, where are the watermelons in this place? And she's like, oh, dude, they're over there, bro. I just, uh, yeah, I'm just homeless and I'm hot, but I'm just a, I'm just a freak in bed. And I just want to, just want to claw your back to shreds.

15:27 You're like, hey, well, thank you for telling me where the watermelons are. Have a great day. Okay. Whereas if you're like, hey, do you know where the watermelons are? And she's like, oh yeah, you know, I think they're over there. They were really ripe last week. And, and yeah, I think they're over there. And you're like, okay, this chick has good energy. She's fun to talk to. She seems like a cool chick. And guys, let's not forget when you approach her, she's taken off guard. Okay.

15:51 Cause she's sitting there shopping. Not many people speak to each other. So when a stranger comes up to her, she's a little off guard. And if you come immediately in and say, hey, I thought you were cute. How'd I come meet you? I'm super nervous right now, but damn girl, that ass is banging. What's up? I'm Mark. What's your name? It totally takes them off guard unless of course it's in the nightclub where I think it's a little bit more expected. It's not going to be as off guard as it would be at say, for example, Starbucks, a supermarket in the mall, wherever you happen to be gas station, wherever.

16:22 So I like to do the indirect. Hey, where's this thing? She gives you the answer and you say, you know what? I've lived here for 10 years. I know exactly where I was. I just needed a reason to talk to you because I thought you were super cute. Wanted to come see if you were interesting. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Okay. And you stick out your hand, you shake it, and then you need to have a few more questions, which I call stacking.

16:42 I've actually done an episode on it. And of course, I'll do one again in the future where you stack the conversation, get it going. Then you start throwing in some of the attraction building techniques that I teach you guys here, but more specifically, obviously in my three month coaching program. And then you get her attracted and yank her phone number. Another thing I like about this is it tells her why you're talking to her. So many times I've seen dudes approach chicks and they're just like, what does this dude want?

17:08 Is he going to try to sell me an insurance plan? Is he going to try to mug me? Is he stalking me? Like, what the fuck does this dude want? And most times she knows you're attracted to her. So just admit it. Say, hey, I thought you were cute. Wanted to come meet you and see what you were like. Tells her that, yeah, he thinks I'm cute, but he wants to see what I'm like. And it kind of puts the pressure on her. So I love to do that for a myriad of reasons.

17:30 It saves time. Tells her why I'm there. Shows my balls. Cuts to the fucking chase that this is a sexual conversation. I'm interested in dating you, but I need to see if you're fun to talk to you first. And that needs to be your perspective, boys, is that just because she's hot, it doesn't mean you're going to freaking marry her and take her home to introduce her to mommy. It means that she's hot. Cool. Check one. Done. Let's go to check two, check three, check four, all the way down to 10.

17:59 Listing those things that I just mentioned. And boys, you should have your standards written out. Okay. So going back, I know a lot of you guys are thick headed now. I want you to concentrate. We have indirect approach, which is basically like, hey, where's this, that, and the third. I love your shoes. Where'd you get those? What's up with the steering wheel? Okay. Then we have direct approach, which includes such openers as, hey, I'm a little nervous right now, but had to let you know. I think you're cute.

18:23 Or you could say, hey, I saw you standing over here. Had to come meet you. I'll be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I did. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Or my favorite one. Hey, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you and see if you were interesting. Okay. Then we have the combination of those two, which is my favorite one, which is you go in with an indirect question, whatever you think it is, feel her temperature. She gets to feel your temperature.

18:46 She's no longer on her back foot. When you shift it into a direct approach, which is, you know what? I've lived here for 10 years. I know exactly where the olive oil is. Just needed a reason to talk to you because I thought you were cute. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Be prepared, boys. A lot of chicks will light up when you do this and you're going to feel so good because they're going to feel so good. Now, I told you in the beginning that I was going to give you a method to warm up into this and I want to give that to you now.

19:13 As a lot of you guys know, I teach this method called approach and eject, which is simply as it sounds. You go up, ask a quick question and then eject. So, for example, hey, do you know where the watermelons are? Yeah, they're over there in the fruit section. Cool. Thanks. Have a good day. And then you eject. What I'll typically do, yes, even at my level, before I'm going to direct approach like a super hot chick, dude, I warm up. Say, for example, I walk into Target and I see a super hot girl.

19:41 What I might do, probably not now because I'm more advanced, but certainly in my younger years, and I definitely suggest you guys do this, is do a lap around Walmart opening a bunch of sea donkeys, people who don't matter, a douche copter, if you will, and just talk to them, get warmed up. Then the next step I might do is compliment somebody on their outfit, particularly a somewhat cute girl, and be like, hey, just had to let you know, I think your outfit's super cute. Keep up the good work.

20:09 And sometimes I'll give them a high five. So what I'm doing is I'm getting my state going. I'm getting my energy up. I'm feeling good. Then once my voice is dialed in, I'm feeling good. I'm on a high note. Then I may go do an indirect to direct or fuck it. I'm just doing a direct to direct. So it's up to you what you want to do. But I strongly suggest you guys try this out by first warming up. Then you can compliment, like for you beginners, you could even go compliment like 10 girls in a row about their outfit, about their haircut, about anything you want, their car, hey, I had to let you know your car looks awesome.

20:43 I love how it slammed on those rims. Keep up the good work. Just giving value, as I always talk about. Then once you got those chops up, you could do some indirect approaches to get yourself warmed up on that. Then you see like a somewhat cute girl. I don't want you to do it first on a stunner. I want you to do it on what you'd consider like an eight. Go up and say, hey, do you know where the potato chips are in this place? I'm absolutely lost.

21:05 Never been here. She's like, yeah, they're over there and over there and be like, you know what? I was just kidding. I've actually shopped here for years. Needed a reason to talk to you because I thought you were super cute. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? She says, oh my God, my name's Kelly. Be like, what's up, Kelly? Nice to meet you. So I've never seen you in here before. Like I said, I'm here all the time. Are you new to this place or what's your deal?

21:25 Okay. Then you get into the conversation. Then you can pry open the conversation with the techniques that I teach in this podcast. Look up any of my attraction building techniques. Those will work in this situation, particularly storytelling. Ramp up the attraction, qualifier, yanker phone number. Boom, you're done. That's how to do it. So once again, boys, this is my favorite way to approach a girl. It's called the I2D method or the indirect to direct method. I strongly suggest it. You guys will be really impressed how well girls react to this.

21:57 And you know what? If they don't, at least you had the balls to do it. And I always want you guys to congratulate yourself on the effort, not the result. It doesn't matter how she reacts. The important thing is, did you do it? If you did do it, I want you to give yourself a smack on the arm. Then I'm going to come up running from the 50 yard line into the end zone. I'm just going to bow right on your ass, dude, until your fucking toupee blows off your head.

22:20 Because I'm so proud of you, brother. You are a goddamn champion. And all of us in the unapologetic man army are facing our fears. I want you to imagine as you're walking up to that girl that I'm next to you, that the brothers are next to you, that every single guy listening to this podcast, we're doing this together. We are the unapologetic man army. And we are here to look fear in the face and say, motherfucker, you're a false evidence appearing real. I'm going to go approach this girl because I'm a fucking man.

22:46 And I'm not going to get to the end of my life with regrets, wondering what if. And even if she rejects me, her fucking loss. The fact that I did it is where I base my feelings of self-worth. And you, brother, are worth a lot. I'm proud of you. The rest of the army is proud of you. Let's do it, man. Let's go into war with a full heart and face our fears because fears are nothing but illusions. I am proud of every single one of you gentlemen.

23:12 If you want to meet with me on a free one-on-one breakthrough session, go to my website, click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the Jesus and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, and I will see you in the next episode. And I will see you in the next episode. Yeah, bro. They even got me pumped up.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.