Mark's 10 Point Checklist For When You Think You've Met "The One"

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP, the Uniform Mike Papa. I really do appreciate it. Today, we're going to go over a little checklist to make sure that you met the one. Cracks me up, bro. I got to be honest with you guys. Let's not be haters, but I got to tell you a little story about occasional applicants that I'll get that just makes me slap my forehead so hard and knocks the fillings out of my teeth.

0:43 These guys are so hilarious. We're just going to call them hilarious. I'll get a guy who applies to the program. My program is a three-month coaching program to get girls. I'll get a lot of applicants. Obviously, not everybody makes the cut, nor am I the suitable coach for them. And the thing about me is I'm completely honest about that. I'm not about money. I'm about helping people. But anyway, guys will apply. And I have about a three to four week waiting list, right? So they'll schedule their appointment.

1:07 It's called a free breakthrough session where they get to meet on a call with me. And it'll be like three weeks away. Then I'll get an email a week later. And this happens like once a month. I'll get an email a week later. It's be like, Mark, Mark, I met the one. This is the girl for me. I don't need the program anymore. I'm done. I'm settling down. This is the one for me. And I'm just like, forehead slaps so hard. It freaking almost knocks myself out.

1:32 Like, really, bro? You think that even dating a girl for two, three weeks, you can know that she's the one? Come on. What are some of you guys smoking? And I'll get this about once a month. And I'm cool about it. I'm like, all right, man. You know, good luck. You guys have a great life together. Amazing that you met the one where you just applied to a coaching program telling me that you can't get girls. You always settle for sea donkeys, canyon mules and mountain trolls.

1:55 But then just out of nowhere, the one showed up and you've met her after you've dated fewer girls than you can count on two hands. Like, come on, bro. Come on, man. Come on. If you're listening, hate to call you out on this. But come the fuck on. Are you kidding me with that kind of logic? So we're going to go over today what it really takes before you decide if you've met the one. And when I hear the one, you guys agree with me. It's like a chick you're going to marry, spend the rest of your life with your soulmate, quote unquote.

2:28 That's the one. And these dudes who meet them in one week, that's the reason these dudes get left. And that's the reason these dudes struggle with getting women is because their heart is like a revolving door and they get infatuated with these chicks, giving them way too much credit and trying to pull them into an outcome that the girl probably doesn't even know will manifest because they had a good couple of cuddle sessions. They got in the cuddle puddle. They boarded that cuddle shuttle and snuggled up, kissed each other on the neck and whispered sweet nothings.

3:00 And that chemical gets released in their brain where they're starting to fall in love. And they're like, this is the one. This is the one, bro. And then what happens? They get needy. They get clingy. They expect too much. And the girl blows them out so hard, their balls fly up and hit the brim of their hat. And that's what we're going to discuss today. And my job as your coach is to prevent that from happening to you and to put forward some realistic expectations about what it really takes.

3:24 And I kind of want to give you a checklist of the things you're looking for when it comes to the one. It's not just an emotional lust-based decision, but instead it has to be a very rational decision because love is basically a drug. It's actually a drug that we get addicted to. And that's why it feels so good when you see somebody when you're in love. But a lot of us have been in love, myself included, and I can bet probably you listening to this podcast.

3:49 And we all know that it goes away after usually about nine months to a couple of years is the average amount of time. I don't know how to pronounce the drug, but it's literally a drug. And your brain is like a pharmaceutical plant that pumps out drugs based on the life situation. So these dudes meet these chicks and it happens with girls too. They meet a dude and they say, this is it because of a drug. But have they really looked at things logically? Do they share the same attitudes?

4:11 Do they share the same desires and work ethic? Do they want to see each other in the right calibration? What are their opinions about politics? What are their opinions about childcare? Everything like that. So we're going to discuss that before I jump into the content. Got another review. In fact, I've got a bunch of screenshots on my desktop of all these goddamn reviews of these champions that have come through my three month coaching program. I'm going to read this real quick. I know you guys are sick of me talking about it, but I believe in it, man.

4:39 I see the results it gets and it just blows my mind that more people don't sign up. But then it blows my mind even harder when people sign up in a week later and say, cancel my appointment, bro. I met the one fucking unbelievable, dude. It's like forehead. If I had like six foreheads, they'd all get slapped. It would just be like that many damn forehead slaps. So this one is from a dude with the initials MS, just like me, Mark Singh. Don't want to say his name because he has to remain anonymous.

5:05 But he said, I listened to the Unapologetic Man podcast for several months before I scheduled the first meeting with you. And that had to be one of the best things I have ever done in my life. After your three month program, I am a changed man in life, not only with women and then in parentheses and fuck around. There's a lot of women, but in several aspects like my career, family, friendships and self-awareness. Thank you for all that you've done for me, sir. It's really not even fair.

5:32 The leg up I have now compared to all these guys not working on themselves. I love that last sentence. And if you guys saw some of the results of this dude got the guy with throw parties and there would be naked chicks just dancing all over the place, he's like, I don't know how you did this, bro. I don't know how we set this up, but this is the best thing ever. And I'm like, of course, man, you know, when you're attractive, you're attractive. And what that means is it's a snowball effect.

5:57 So when you have it, you get more and more and more. And then it's just like in fucking sanity. So that's what happens with dudes who come into my program. If you want to meet with me on a free one-on-one breakthrough session, go to my website, coachmarksing.com, click on coaching, fill in the quick application, and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. All right, boys. So as I alluded to earlier, bro, you're not going to know she's the one after a few short weeks.

6:22 In fact, you're not going to know she's the one after a few short months. And in my opinion, it takes a few long years before you're really going to know if she's the one. Because as we've all found out with friends, with business associates, and yes, with females, people reveal themselves extremely slowly. And while you might be infatuated with her perfect vagina, which to you seems like the gates to heaven itself. And while she may seem sweet and have a perfect resume, quote unquote, when you first meet her, you don't know this chick from Adam.

6:57 And I get really nervous with dudes who get super fired up about a girl who they're just starting to date because I know that dude's about to get blown out. So when I get an email from a dude who says that he met the one after just a few weeks of dating her, or hell, even after a few months of dating her, like people who get married after a few months, I'm always worried about this person to a very high degree. Because I know that if he's all smitten, if he's all in the ether, and he's all sprung on this chick, he's telegraphing it.

7:24 He's showing her that he sprung on her. And that blows out attraction unless she's more sprung on him, which based on some of the emails I get from these dudes, I seriously doubt that these chicks are as sprung on these guys as these guys are sprung on her. So as I always talk about in this podcast, there's the 80-100 rule. You have to prevent yourself from being sprung on a chick, even if you feel that way. And manage your sprungness, if you will, to 80% of her sprungness.

7:53 And even if she starts talking about marriage and being the one and soulmates and all that shit, after a couple months, I put the gabosh on it. I say, you know what, I feel great about you too. I love hanging out with you. But I feel you have to change with somebody to really get to know somebody. So while I feel like we're off to a good start, you know, I want to see where it goes. And that's what I do too, before making a girl my girlfriend is she has to bring it up.

8:18 She has to ask me. And I only ask her after several months I've gone by. For me personally, it's usually four to six months. And as she's asking, the first time I tell her no, I say, listen, relationships that start fast, end fast. I feel you have to change with somebody to really get to know them. So let's keep going. I want to keep dating you. This is absolutely awesome. I'll be bummed if I lose this, but I'm not ready to commit yet. And every single time she says, okay, I understand.

8:46 And she gets more attracted to me. So then after a few times of her urging and based on my decision, my conclusion that we are compatible and I want to stop dating other chicks so that I can date this girl, I'll ask her to be my girlfriend. So a big problem with a lot of dudes is they jump into shit so quick. And the reason they jump into shit so quick is a lack of happiness within themselves and being alone, in my opinion. And listen, I've met girls too that I was super smitten on.

9:15 It was like the best thing ever. She had the just perfect rack, perfect ass, like angelic face, just super fucking hot, gave great head, had the same political views as me, the same spiritual views, which is super important. Seemed really nice, a caring person, great job, like seemingly checked off all the boxes. And then I got super sprung. And then what happens? Four months later, you see the true part of that person. And not only when dating women, but for women listening, for dating dudes too, you need to see the person in their worst place to really get to know who they are.

9:49 I want to see them in a challenge. I want to see them in a disagreement with me. I want to see them go through a calamity with me and see if they're going to lie to me, see if they're going to cheat me, see if when the shit hits the fan, who is this person? Here's what reveals character, okay? There's two things that reveal character. One of them is calamity. When the shit hits the fucking fan, I'm going to see exactly who you are. And you're going to see exactly who I am.

10:15 And when somebody has power, for example, them having power over you, because you let your heart go out of weakness, out of neediness, out of not feeling like enough in yourself, you let your heart go. And now we get to see the woman's true character. And a lot of us, including me, and probably you listening, have been blown the fuck out, heartbroken, stomped on, lit on fire, pissed on, and then shit on by a sumo wrestler. We've been blown out so hard it gave us literally a trauma.

10:41 We literally have PTSD from this. So when I get these emails, like, what am I supposed to do? Be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. Be careful with that. You know, don't commit to this shit because the guy's just going to think I'm trying to sell him on my program. So I say, no problem, man. That's cool. You know, good luck to you. I met the one, bro. It's like, come on, man. Fuck, dude. I can't believe some guys sometimes, but I get it because I've been that dude too.

11:05 But I'm your uncle Mark Singh, and I can't be your mentor unless I'm going to be your tour mentor. So I'm going to tell you to slow the fuck down. You don't know this chick from Adam, bro. You don't know what she's really like until you spent years with the chick. I'm talking like hundred laps around the track, hit the triple, uncork the quad, fucking do a can-can over the finish line jump, and then let's go ahead and talk about being the one, right? And this person should fit with you like a lock and key.

11:32 Some things need to be the same with a key, right? Some things need to be the same, and some things need to be opposite, and it just needs to work naturally into who you are. Furthermore, the person should ameliorate you, which is make you better, not make you worse. Not make you stressed, but make you calmer, make you feel at peace, make you feel secure. And maybe you feel that way in the very beginning, but you don't know her. You don't know all the things that she's going to do if and when the shit hits the fan.

12:06 We had a nanny that was working for us, and I don't really like to talk shit about people, but in this case, I'm going to be honest with you guys. She fucking royally screwed us over because she went and fell in love, got married without telling us, lied to us about it, and then put in her notice with hardly any time for us to go get a new nanny and left us in a really bad situation. And when she first started dating the dude, I started seeing her kind of smitten.

12:28 She was always on her phone, and I was like, so who are you texting? She's like, oh, I'm texting with Brian. I'm like, oh, you seem pretty smitten with this dude. She's like, yeah. And I'm like, you know, be careful. Like, give it some time. The girl was like 20 years old, and I could tell she was going down a bad path. And what did she do? She married the dude, moved to some fucking podunk state where he lives now, and we don't talk to her anymore because she really stabbed us in the back and lied to us.

12:56 But I can almost guarantee you that relationship is doomed, not because she screwed us or anything like that, because it takes time to get to know somebody enough to make them the one. And this too, boys, is why I always tell you, from quantity comes quality. When you tell me the one, that has to come from quantity. You cannot tell me you're going to meet and date three different chicks. I'll fucking bumble. And one of them is going to be your soulmate. Okay. I just don't fucking believe it.

13:26 What I found in my vast experience, not only with me, but with my clients is you need to date hella chicks. I'm talking hundreds, if not thousands of different girls to find exactly what you want. And out of that abundance, that girl is going to come. So you can see as a coach, why this frustrates me, because not only have I done it, not only have I seen a lot of my friends, colleagues, and other people who I love do it, family members, but then I get a guy who comes into the program, really wants to join, wants to get good with chicks, finds a girl who he's temporarily smitten with, and then tells me she's the one.

13:59 Come the fuck on. And what's likely going to happen? Freaking breakup, divorce, and heartbreak, because he let himself go too quickly. And honestly, he got complacent because of fear, probably because of fear of going into the unknown, of getting better with women, fear of being rejected in order to master a skill set, to be able to choose from abundance. I want you choosing your queen to the point where you walk into anywhere and you see just the hottest blonde dude, just so fucking your type, roll up on her, get her attracted to you, yank her phone number, take her on a date, and always have the context in your mind, she's the one submitting the application.

14:42 And I don't know you from anybody. I'm not going to give you so much credit because you're super goddamn fine. I want to know what your morals are. What would you do if your best friend was in jail? What's your political outlook? What's your outlook about death? I mean, you date a chick who's like a hardcore Christian and you're not. I don't understand how people get married in that context. To me, similar spiritual beliefs are absolutely essential. And it doesn't matter that you may be a Christian and I'm not or vice versa.

15:08 It only matters for you when you meet the woman who you want to spend the rest of your life with. She should have those same beliefs. And for you to discover that because you had a 14-hour-long conversation that lasted all night and you were in the cuddle puddle and your boner felt so amazing and she's the one, bro, she's the one cancel my appointment. Fucking bullshit. Okay? As masculine men, we stay rational. Okay? We don't get into that feminine energy of emotion and feeling good and, oh, this is the one.

15:36 Right? And the reason I'm kind of yelling at you guys and I need to do this as a coach is, again, because I care about you. I don't want to see you make the same mistakes that I have made, my boys have made, and millions of other men, as well as women, have made throughout history, making arbitrary decisions based on emotions. So when you go into your next relationship, the first thing you should do is make her wait, tell her relationships that start fast and fast.

16:05 Let's keep doing a couple laps around the track and see where it goes. Once she bugs you enough about it and you decide on your terms that you want her to be your girlfriend, you ask her to do so. Then you take some time to get to know this person. Live with her first before you commit to her being the one. Right? I've lived with Marissa for several years. I'm still learning new shit about her. So the message today is to take it slow and take it with a grain of salt.

16:31 And don't give these girls so much credit just because they're hot. The sex is awesome. They give great sick duck, flip the S on the D in there and you know what I'm talking about. And they seem amazing because everybody puts their best foot forward first. And you don't know this girl from anybody else. So don't give her so much credit because when you do and you put in your mind that she's the one after a few weeks of dating her, she's going to sense that neediness from you.

16:57 It looks extremely unattractive because it sub communicates that you don't have other options. So she's going to blow you the fuck out. Mark my words. So again, boys, as your coach, whether or not I'm your coach in the three month program or just a secondary coach that you listen to on the podcast, it's my job to crack the whip sometimes. And I'm seeing a lot of feminine energy coming out of you guys listening. Not all of you now. I'm sure you listening. Yeah. You bro. Nah, no feminine energy there, bro.

17:25 You're totally in your masculine energy. You will make this chick qualify and wait. And you're going to find out who the fuck she is before you commit to her. Aren't you? Damn right. Damn right. Because you understand that there is an absolute abundance of women. And just because you met a chick on the third date, that seems perfect. I have to doubt that man, because most times they aren't. And I'm not trying to be negative. I'm not saying that chicks would suck or there's tons of horrible ones or anything like that.

17:50 I'm just saying to find something that fits like lock and key where there's like a hundred different dimensions that need to fit perfectly. It's not easy, man. And it takes time and we have to be realistic with it. And we have to build the skillset to be able to go get it. So as a dating coach, it hurts me deep inside of who I am. I feel like there's blood swishing out of my heart when I hear these dudes just commit to these chicks and get so excited.

18:17 Even my clients, they're like, dude, I met this amazing chick. She's so great. Oh my God, I've never had a girl this hot. She's a fucking 10. She's fucking perfect. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. How long you been dating her? Oh, we've been on like three dates, bro. You do not know her. Stop giving her so much credit. Slow your roll. I know when dudes come into my program and get more ass than a toilet seat, it's exciting. But Jesus wouldn't even believe this. These guys fucking come off the handle, come unpeeled and get so excited.

18:42 It's like all their Christmases arrived on the same day. Slow your roll, bro. Drop it down a gear, okay? Let's be realistic. We need a thorough vetting process before we give any woman your stamp of approval. Why? Because you guys are unapologetic alpha silverback fucking champions that songs will be written about for generations to come. So don't give them so much credit. Take your time. Don't let your heart go so quickly. Maintain that 8100 rule. And if she makes the cut after you guys been together for hopefully years, then we can go ahead and throw around the term the one.

19:20 Until then, slow your roll, man. Why? Because you are the selector. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I can't thank you enough. If you leave me a review, please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com. If you want to get on a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, I'm here for you, brother. Would love to meet with you. We're going to talk for up to an hour about your issues and I'm going to give you a no BS assessment of what it's going to take to get you to your exact goals with women where you do have that abundance.

19:47 You do have your choice and you choose rather than get chosen by some canyon mule who you feel is the one just because you can't get anybody better. It's like that song from Pearl Jam. She lies and says she's in love with him. Can't find a better man, right? I see that so often with my friends and shit. I'm just like, bro, sack the fuck up and get this skill set down and you'll be able to choose the best girl for you. And she's actually going to be the one because she's going to fit with you like lock and key.

20:18 That's what you deserve, man. Who knows if life goes on? Who knows if there's a heaven or reincarnation? This could be it. So it's your job to get the best woman possible behind you because I'll tell you what, when you have a great woman behind you, it makes you an even better man. And we all deserve that. Thank you again for listening, gentlemen, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.