Online Dating God #3 - Messaging & Texting Masterclass

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. On Instagram, straight flexing. What is up guys? Mark Sing here. Thank you for joining me on another episode of the UMP. Want to let you guys know I started an Instagram page, so I would appreciate it if you jump on over to Instagram and follow me. I have lots of pictures from the stuff that I've talked about on this podcast, and I intend to continue putting pictures up from some of the insights that I have.

0:41 I want to do some videos on there and make some Photoshop kind of things, and I intend to get really into it. Your support would really mean a lot to me, so please hop on over there. You can find it at CoachMarkSing, that's M-A-R-K-S-I-N-G, and I'd very much appreciate it if you followed me. I will get your name tattooed right on my neck. I also want to let you guys know that I am still offering a couple of my programs in exchange for a review, and if you can't find a place to leave a review on your podcast app, then hop on over to YouTube.

1:14 I don't really do YouTube that much, but if you could subscribe to my channel, The Unapologetic Man Podcast, or even tell a friend about this podcast, and then email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, then I will send you The Conversation Sniper, which is going to be important for today's discussion, as well as Guide to the Female Orgasm, and I'll probably send you a couple other things as well, because I'm gracious like that. I'm socially savvy in that way. All right, guys, so today we are going to talk about one of my favorite things ever, and that is messaging and a little bit even some texting techniques to yank these girls off the online dating platforms.

1:52 This is episode three of a multi-part series, so if you haven't listened to number one and number two, please stop this and go do that now. It's Online Dating God number one, number two, and then this will be number three, which is specifically about messaging, how to pivot into texting, and then next time I'm going to get into how to get her to hang out, both during the coronavirus epidemic as well as after. I have a brilliant way that works like fucking magic to get girls to hang out.

2:23 It's a whole sequence that I'm going to teach you on the next one, Online Dating God number four, four, four, four. All right, let's jump into it, guys. So first and foremost, I want to say that you should follow all of the protocols that I've explained in episode one and episode two of this series, okay? Now, many times when I teach this to guys, most times when I teach this to guys, they have great success with it. They say, Mark, I'm getting more replies than I ever have.

2:53 This shit works like gangbusters. This is like magic. But I know how some of y'all like to spaz out and criticize others when things don't go the way you want them to. So I'm going to say a little caveat here. Nothing I tell you is going to work 100% of the time with 100% of women, okay? There's a myriad of circumstances that we cannot predict that are going on in her life. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. Maybe she has diarrhea. Maybe she's got BO. Who knows what's going on?

3:23 So your email shoots in and then she doesn't reply back and you're like, God damn that Mark Singh. Everything he tells me is bullshit. Bro, it's not going to work every time, okay? But what I found in my research is that this shit works about 80% of the time. And I'd say that's a pretty damn good conversion rate being it that there's a myriad of circumstances we can't predict. There's things that are happening we don't know about. Hell, you may not be her type, bro. Like the way you look may not do it for her.

3:50 And while looks aren't important in real life, they do play a little bit of a role in online dating. Although like I've said in previous episodes, the way you set yourself up, the way you write her, everything like that is the most important thing. But dude, we don't know. We don't know. Maybe she doesn't like tall, skinny guys like me with a buzz cut, with a big ass nose. Maybe that's a deal breaker. So I write her an email and even though I got everything just pinned, I do everything correctly.

4:17 She's just like, uh-uh, that's not my type. I like midgets with peg legs and mullets. That's what I'm into. That's only the kind of guy that I'm going to go for. So please keep that in mind when you try these. These are just my experience, both for my clients and myself. So let's jump into it. All right. So the first message you send her, okay? On most dating platforms, you are going to be sending the first message. And then what I'm going to talk about after is how to reply to a message that she sends you, how to reply if she likes you or winks at you, which happens on Match.com and a couple other circumstances.

4:53 But one of the best messages that I've found, both for myself and for my clients, is, Hey, Kelly, I noticed something interesting about your pictures. Okay? So, Hey, Kelly, I noticed something interesting about your pictures. Dot, dot, dot. Big concept here is we have to build intrigue in women. Women want to know about themselves. They want to know what you think of them, what others are perceiving them to be. So when you say that you noticed something interesting about her pictures, she's going to get curious about that and probably reply back.

5:28 Once again, no guarantee, but decent chance. Way better than, Hey, what's up, Kelly? How are you today? Okay. Way better. So you say that. I noticed something interesting about your pictures. Now, the big thing about messaging on these things is you need to be like a chess player and think five steps ahead. Most guys just go to an interaction with the basic mundane. Hey, what's up? How are you? Hey, you're hot. You want to hang out? They go for the hangout like immediately, which is horrible.

5:59 Hey, sometimes it works. Okay. But I'm talking maybe what, 15% of the time. If you're lucky, I wouldn't do that. What I do is I build intrigue. Now, like a chess player, you're thinking five steps ahead and you're leading her down an inevitable path to where you want to arrive to, which of course is first getting her phone number and then getting the hangout. So like a chess player saying, okay, look, I got to build it up enough. I got to build the attraction enough. I got to build the intrigue enough.

6:28 I got to get her to chase a little bit. And then once she's on a high note, I can pivot that into something else. Okay. So you say, I noticed something interesting about your pictures. She replies back, what's that? Then you can say, well, it's a pretty big thing. And then she's going to say, what is it? If I tell you, you have to pinky square not to get so excited. You jump in the air and hit your head on the ceiling fan. I don't want to be responsible for any air conditioning damage in your home.

6:57 She'll say, haha, okay, I pinky swear. Now you say, now Kelly, do you understand that the pinky swear is legally binding agreement officially recognized by the United States Supreme Court, correct? She'll say, haha, yeah, I know. All right, here it goes. That's what you write. All right, here it goes. Then you wait and you don't text her until she follows up with you. There's a little bit of game playing, but it works like magic. You want to build intrigue, build intrigue, and then right when they really want to know what it is, you just don't text her.

7:26 Now, the reason why we can do this and pull it off successfully is because there's a myriad of circumstances that come into texting that she can't predict. Maybe you had to go to work. Maybe you had to take a phone call. Maybe you're out surfing and your freaking phone is in the car and you can't get to it immediately. So what you do is you wait. Don't text her. When she follows up, you want to reward her behavior by replying immediately and giving her a nice compliment about her pictures.

7:53 Okay, so there's also push-pull that plays into this, and if you haven't listened to my push-pull episode, I'd strongly suggest you do that. But when she replies back, she's going to say, hello, and you say, oh, right, right. I noticed you always look genuinely happy in your pictures, like you don't fake it. It seems like you're a legitimately happy, positive person. True story? Then she'll say something like, laugh out loud, oh, yeah, for sure. I love people, I love taking pictures, blah, blah, blah, boring-ass girl reply.

8:24 Then you say, you're probably a super loyal friend, huh? Like, if I made your best friend so happy she cracked her head on the ceiling fan, you'd kick my butt, wouldn't you? Then she's going to reply back, laugh out loud, definitely, mess with my friends, and it's curtains, ha, ha, ha, something like that. Okay, so this is one example of how to build it up. Now, you can do this exact same thing when a girl starts falling off, which I know happens to a lot of you guys.

8:49 When you want to get a girl back who is falling off, what you do is you write her and you say, so Kelly, dot, dot, dot. Or, so Kelly, I just realized something about you, dot, dot, dot. Or, so Kelly, I have something to admit to you, dot, dot, dot. I love to do that because then she's going to reply back and she says, what is that, right? Now we're getting some momentum. We're getting her to engage. Whereas before, if you write her like, hey, I have something I need to tell you.

9:19 So I have this thing that I do where it's a little weird, but I do this thing, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And you start like explaining it. That doesn't build any intrigue. You're just kind of like blowing your load all over her in one text. So what I always suggest is spread out your text. Okay, so I noticed something about interesting about your pictures. What's that? Well, it's a pretty big thing. What is it? You see how it's like getting her going? Now, other ways to do this is, so Kelly, and she's like, yes, Mike.

9:48 And you'd be like, I just realized something about you. And she's like, what? And you say, well, there's so many good things about you and just one bad. Now, when you say that, she's going to chase. And she's always, dude, this is like 100% of the time they say, what's the bad thing? And then I would say, why are you being so negative? I just told you there's lots of good things about you. Why do you only want to know the bad? And she's always like, I just want to know.

10:11 I just want to know. And then I drag it out. And then I turn the bad thing into a compliment. It's too bad you don't live closer because you're pretty cute. Or it's too bad you don't live closer because I feel like we get along well. It's too bad you don't come into pocket size so I can take you home with me. It's too bad you don't have that anti-COVID-19 elixir so you and I can hang out sometime. This, that, and the third. Okay. So build intrigue, build intrigue, build intrigue.

10:39 You can make it seem like it's going to be an insult and then you turn it into a compliment. And that works really well for girls. Okay. Another thing I often say is you do this one thing that's so cute, but I don't want to tell you what it is because then you'll stop doing it. And this, by the way, is how I line up the first kiss. I'm going to do a podcast on how to line up the first kiss like a freaking pimp. But that's one way I line up the first kiss.

11:02 You do this one thing that's so cute because I don't, but I don't want to tell you what it is because then you'll stop doing it. I mean, come on, dude. What girl wouldn't chase that, right? It's like chick crack. You dangle that shit in front of her face and she goes after it. It's like a goddamn lure that she can't help but hit on, right? So it's like, you do this one thing that's so cute. I don't want to tell you this because she stops doing it.

11:21 She's like, what is it? What is it? No, you don't want to know. Ooh, did you guys hear that? That was my baby. I got the baby monitor on. Oh, shit. Oh, she's coughing, bro. No, go back to sleep, please. I'm doing a podcast. All right. I think she went back to sleep. Thank God. Don't want to go up there right now. All right. So building intrigue, building intrigue, getting her interested. And then this is what really creates attraction, okay? Now, in the next episode, I'm going to tell you how to pivot that into a hangout.

11:55 But in this episode, I want to talk about how to pivot this into a text, into her phone number, I should say. So when you're talking to this girl, okay, so you say, so Kelly, she's like, yes, Andrew. You say, I know something about interesting about your pictures. What's that? Well, it's a pretty big thing. What is it? Somewhere in there where you feel comfortable, I want you to try to move her over to texting. The reason this is, is because there's lots of catfish, as I talked about on our previous episode.

12:23 And catfish will oftentimes not want to give you their phone number because they're damn catfish, you know, in the armpit of Saudi Arabia, trying to freaking get you to visit their webcam. So you can spank the monkey in their masturbation station. But see, when you pivot it into the phone number, you can tell which girls are serious and which girls aren't. Also, there's the whole effect of social validation seekers, which are girls that just want to win, just want to get checked out, just want to be wanted.

12:51 So when you pivot into the phone number, she's like, no, I'm not comfortable doing that. Like, that's the typical thing, right? Like, I'm not comfortable doing that. And my partner, Kristen Carney, she had the most brilliant method to deal with that. When a chick says, I'm not comfortable to do that, send her a picture of a pillow. Brilliant, dude. I loved it when she said that. So send her a picture of a pillow. But if a girl says, I'm not comfortable, it's like, really, chick? You're not comfortable?

13:18 Give me your fucking phone number, then screw you. I'm out, right? I'll just, like, not reply. When you get the phone number, which you should, I would often say, hey, I don't really like texting on this app. Like, if it's Tinder or something like that. Don't really like texting on this app. Why don't you toss me your number and we'll move this over to texting? And oftentimes, girls will just do it. Here's my number, text me. Because girls don't like those apps either. Like, sometimes using them, you got to log in.

13:44 You got to deal with all that bullshit. It's so much easier just to text. And when you get her into a series of micro yeses, micro yes being her giving you her phone number, she's going to feel more rapport with you. She's going to be more likely to want to hang out with you. It's, like, one step closer to the inevitable goal of getting her to hang out. Sorry, guys. My voice is jacked today, dude. Too much coaching. Did tons of coaching calls today. Want to give a shout out to two new clients that I got.

14:15 Jake and Albar. What's up, brothers? Looking forward to working with you, my dudes. Really enjoyed today's coaching calls. They were fantastic. Two awesome guys. All right. So you're going to move it over to texting. Hey, listen. I don't really like texting on this app. Why don't we move it over to texting? She says, laugh out loud. Sure. Sends you her number. And then what you do is you continue the conversation just like nothing happened. Or you can be like, hey, it's Chris. And then you continue the conversation.

14:39 So anyway, what I was saying about XYZ, and then you continue on. Now, there's some important principles that I want to run past you guys when it comes to messaging. So I'm going to do a whole texting series. Maybe I'll name it Texting God or something like that. But I'm going to do a whole texting series because texting is literally my favorite freaking thing when it comes to seduction next to frame control. But when texting, there's certain rules I want you guys to follow. First and foremost, never freaking message her twice in a row.

15:11 Okay, I don't even want your text to be like, send a quick text and then send a quick one, another quick one with the same thought. You know what I'm saying? You like, you said, so you know what, Kelly? And then you send it. I have something I have to tell you about and then send it again. I don't even want you to do that. I want it to be one for one because it just seems to me try hard when you send multiple ones. And it's definitely, oh shit, the baby again.

15:36 I'm going to turn this down. Relax, bro. It's fucking 1055 p.m. She probably has a stomach ache. I'll have to go up there and rub her back for 20 minutes and she'll be back in the bucket, back in the biscuit. All right. So you don't never want to text her twice. Like, hey, did you get my text? Do never do that. If you do that, fly over to Colorado and I'm going to smack you upside the head. Never text her twice. I don't care how long it takes for her to text you back.

16:03 Now, if she doesn't text you back at all and you get ghosted, there's a way to get her back. And I'm going to talk about that in subsequent episodes, probably my texting episodes, but just make sure it's one for one. Let's say she takes a couple hours to text you back. You want to about match her time that she takes to reply. But once it sticks, then what I suggest is mixing up your reply times and you want to use your reply times as reward and punishment.

16:31 Okay. So like I said in that previous example, she's like, what is it? What's this thing you want to tell me? You're like, okay, you ready? She'll be like, yeah. And then dude, you don't like text her back. We're using that specifically to get her into a chase mode. But when she does text you back and says, hello, are you still there? You immediately text back because you want to reward her good behavior. Like if a girl texts you and she says, I just got out of the shower and I shaved and I'm so soft right now.

16:58 And all I want to do is cuddle with you, bro. You got to like immediately text her back and reward it. But if you send her some funny ass shit, like, hey, why are you being so negative? Don't you know that nine out of 10 African children die every two minutes? Just joking around. And it's like pretty funny. And then she has some boring ass reply. You want to punish it. How do you punish it? Reply times. I will not respond to a text that isn't funny.

17:23 If I'm putting out great content and she's just coming back with these meager ass responses, I'll just fucking not reply. Sometimes for a day, sometimes for two days. Dude, stretch it out to three days. One big principle is you not replying can almost never go bad. That's a big statement. And I don't like absolutes because there's always nebulous instances where it might not be true. But most of the time, you not replying will almost always be better for you than you replying almost across the board.

17:57 If she acts up, she's not doing what you want. She's being like not participatory. She's being boring as watching paint dry. Dude, just don't respond. And then she might follow back up with you. Hello, you still there? So anyway, what were we talking about? And then you want to boom, reward that behavior, reward her for chasing you, reward her for wanting you, reward her for effort and punish laziness, her not responding quickly enough, punish any kind of bad behavior. Okay. A couple other things is I want you to purposely make mistakes in your messages.

18:33 Now, I don't want you to sound like an idiot. I don't want there to be grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes, but I wanted to make it look like it's rushed. So while we are chess players and while we're thinking 10 steps ahead, I want it to look rushed. And one really good way to do that is to let predictive text, which is the text on your phone that might change the word fucking into ducking. I want you to let that go purposely. Let it predictive text mess it up, especially if it's funny.

19:03 So I always used to say this thing to girls. Um, if you don't do this, I'm going to lock your ass out of my life. Now, one time it changed lock to lick. So it said, if you don't do X, Y, Z, I'm going to lick your ass out of my life. And I was like, Oh, that's awesome. So I left it. I sent it and she's like, what the hell? And I was like, Oh, laugh out loud, predictive text. It created a great moment. So then I started using it purposely.

19:32 And when it changes the text to something where you think, yeah, she'll, she'll be able to know what I meant. You want to send that because why? Because you want to make it look like you just think of these funny ass things off the top of your head and you're writing them so quickly, you're not even checking your grammar. You're not even seeing if it's correct. You just fucking send it. Then she's in there thinking, wow, he's really funny. He doesn't care that much. He's not being predictable with his reply times.

19:56 When I do meager effort, he's not replying back very quickly. This guy is super attractive. All right. I want to talk briefly about those dating platforms that girls can hit you up first. Like on match.com, they can wink at you on Bumble. They can like you and send you a message first. So one of the typical ones that I always do is what's called a false disqualifier on match. I was big on match. Like back in the day, I did a lot of Tinder too, and some other apps as well.

20:25 But like match was like my bread and butter when a chick would wink on me on match, which she often would because of the chick crack story reel, which by the way, is an episode number two. If you haven't heard about that yet, definitely check that out. That shit is freaking magic. But when they would see the chick crack story reel, I'd get lots of winks. What I do is I go into their profile, I look at their pictures, and I pick something that they do like a hobby that I do too.

20:50 And a lot of girls in Denver would be doing yoga or like snowboarding or something like that. And you've heard me say this multiple times if you listen to this podcast, but you do a false disqualifier. So I would say, hey, why are you winking at me? Didn't we break up already? Don't you remember? I was so much better at yoga than you were. You got mad, hit me in the head with a yoga brick, and it was just massive drama from that day forward. And then I say, it's too bad too, because you're pretty cute.

21:16 That would give me 100% reply rate. I mean, she's winking at you, right? Then you show a little bit of personality on top of your profile that's dialed in, on top of the chick crack story reel. She just thinks you're freaking awesome. Reply with that, and then it creates that fun, playful vibe that's all important with women. Now, what do you talk about in texting? You're saying, okay, Mark, you gave me a cool template. You gave me a good idea for how to reply to girls who hit me up.

21:46 But what else can I say? Well, hit me up, okay? Write me at coachmarksing at gmail.com. I'd appreciate it if you gave me a review, signed up on YouTube, did something for me, like told a friend about it. But even if you don't, just hit me up and say, yo, I really enjoyed that episode. Can you please send me the Conversation Sniper? Now, in the Conversation Sniper has all these awesome questions to ask girls, okay? What would you do right now with $90 million? If you could fly anywhere in the world, like let's pretend coronavirus wasn't happening.

22:17 And you can fly anywhere in the world right now. Where would you go? She's like, oh, I'd go to Greece. And you'd be like, Greece, huh? Do you want to like go eat gyros on the beach and like ride dirt bikes on the beach? Or why do you want to go to Greece? It creates good conversational substance for her to seek your teeth into. Then what you're doing is you're building up the conversational vibe, getting her attracted, connecting to her. And then dude, on a high note, which by the way, takes about 10 to 15 texts, I'd say.

22:44 I had a client ask me the other day, how many texts does it take before I go for the hangout? It really depends. But like, let's just say 10 to 15. I know you guys like numbers. So there you go. But it could take 30. It could take five. It freaking depends. But let's say 10 to 15, then in the next episode, I'm going to give you the way to get her to hang out. And then I have some really good ideas for how to hang out with chicks, even despite this coronavirus thing that's going on.

23:08 So hit me up. I'll send you the conversation sniper. There are tons of cool lines in there that you can use, especially in texting. But there you go, guys. Now you know how to write her the first text, how to build intrigue, keep her interested, pivot it into texting. Okay, now you guys are texting with each other. Build up the vibe, build up the vibe, show some personality. Then boom, on a high note, you go for the close. And that's a really big principle as well.

23:38 Never go for the close. And when I say close, I mean the hangout. When she's on a low note, like things aren't going well. And you're like, oh, I think I'm losing her. Okay, I better go for the hangout. No, no, no, no. You have to build the vibe up, build the vibe up when she's cracking up. When you get those like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know how chicks text that? Like a hundred haws. You're like, all right, dude, boom. Go for the close now.

23:59 I'm going to teach you how to do that in the next episode. All right, so those were some fundamental principles of messaging on the dating apps. Once again, you want to pivot that shit into texting so you can see who's really serious. Then from texting, build up the vibe. If once again, you have Instagram, I'd very much appreciate it. If you followed me, Coach Mark Singh, and it's a black and white picture of me looking like a mad scientist who's got wizardry, who's going to go into that brain of yours and remove any programs you have.

24:28 Like I surgically remove them like a splinter from your brain. By the way, you can learn more about my coaching at CoachMarkSingh.com. I'm here for you guys. I'm here for you, man. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. And in the next episode, I'm going to really get into how to close the Hangout despite there being COVID-19. Personally, I think this is an opportunity where you can actually close Hangouts easier. Now, I know that sounds crazy, but I'll tell you why in the next episode.

24:56 So once again, guys, I really do appreciate you so much. This podcast has grown so quickly. There's lots of love being shown. I get emails every day, getting new clients all the time. And, dude, this is so rewarding, man. And it's all because of you. You right now on the other side. You, brother, I appreciate you, man. Wish I could meet you. Hopefully one day I will. And we will hang out and go get some women together. So thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.