Self Awareness: The #1 Most Powerful Strategy to Transform Your Life

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a fucking man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, Mark Singh. And I'm John Anthony. And today we are going to talk about knowing yourself. We've all heard of that cliche term, know thyself. But for John and I, we feel it's really one of the most important things in self-development because you can't make improvement unless you know what to improve. And sometimes it's difficult to see what you have to improve because you're too close to the problem.

0:35 In internet marketing, that's called skitoma, where you have a problem in front of you, but you can't see it because you're too damn close to it. You're too involved in the process. You're too in love with your own ideas. And you can't see that if you just make this step over here to the right, then you can circumvent all this hell that you're lining up for yourself. And it really works that way with self-development as well. And obviously, you guys wouldn't be listening to this podcast unless you wanted to improve.

1:04 So on this podcast, we're going to go over some of the techniques and some of the theories that John and I have used to develop ourselves. And we're going to really lay that out for you today. So thanks for listening. And John, why don't you take it away, brother? Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I think that this will probably be – maybe it won't be one of the most important podcasts that we ever do, but I think it's definitely one of the most important concepts that you can talk about in self-improvement, right?

1:33 Because, I mean, if you think about it, it's like if a mechanic wants to fix a car, right? If you have a car that's broken and it isn't working for some reason or it's just barely working, not to its full extent, and you have a mechanic come in and try to fix it and he doesn't know how to fix it or he doesn't know what the different parts do and how they work together, he won't be able to, first of all, even see that something is wrong and, second of all, even fix it.

2:00 So that's why so many guys, I think, get caught up in just not making any progress with their financial situation, not making any progress with their psychological and emotional and mental health and getting stuck with their situation with dating and with women is that they just don't know themselves because it's like when you're a fish in water, you don't even know that the water is there. You don't even know it exists until you get pulled out and you see that there's something else. So the thing that I recommend every guy start to do is read psychology.

2:38 So there's two books that I recommend in particular. The first one is The Games That People Play by Eric Byrne. And this is an old school kind of psychology book that was published in the 50s. So I guess it's not old school like in the sense of Freud, but it was published in the 50s. And the whole idea behind the book is that it's this relationship counselor who basically, you know, over the course of his lifetime saw all of these different couples coming in. And it's entitled The Games That People Play because what he observed is that everyone plays these unconscious games with one another where you do one thing, then the other person does another thing, and then you do another thing in response.

3:17 And it's just this pattern that plays itself out over and over and over again, and you're not even conscious of it, right? And the second book is called Prometheus Rising, which is my favorite book probably of all time by Dr. Robert Anton Wilson. And this lays out the Eighth Circuit Theory of Consciousness, which actually talks about how there's eight different tracks that your brain uses to interpret, absorb, and communicate information. And this was huge for me in terms of just being able to wake up because it allowed me to get perspective on what my childhood was like, how I was raised a certain way, why I have certain behaviors that I might not have wanted.

3:59 And it sort of brought awareness to my behaviors that I wasn't even aware of in the first place. So, John, let me ask you a question, man. Like you – I don't know if you guys know, but I'm 41 years old. John is in his mid-20s. And you're probably like me. You're probably quite impressed with John for how far he's come in his self-development. I mean it absolutely amazes me. So I tend to think that a lot of it is from your parents. Is that true or did you just have a real standard upbringing and you had to do all this yourself if you don't mind me asking?

4:33 Yeah. Well, no. First off, thank you, man. So I think that the reason that I'm so far ahead is because – I mean I love my parents and I'm sure that everyone does to an extent. I think that they tried their best, but there was a lot of dysfunctional things that happened when I was a kid. There was a lot of shit that just I didn't like, that just didn't work out very well. I just didn't feel like my family was really functional enough to have a functional relationship with me.

4:59 And so that's why for so long as a kid I was just depressed and hated myself and hated the world and I had all these problems. Eventually, I just kind of hit a crossroads where it was like I can stay here and my life can fucking suck and I'll probably end up killing myself by the time I'm like 19 or something or I can get better. And that's what I chose to do. So I just started researching things and trying to understand people and trying to understand myself and it's like that old cliche that it's the pressure that brings the diamond out of the coal.

5:27 And it's a lot of people when they're put under intense pressure like I was, they either crumble and just fall apart or they harden and become better. And that's just what I chose to do. Right. And it's funny because we've used the term snowflake before and I heard this person say that a snowflake is somebody who melts under pressure. And I was like, ooh, that's a really good interpretation of that word for sure. So that's interesting. I mean the same thing happened to me. My history is I was depressed when I was 19, didn't get laid until I was 21, was suicidal through my early 20s.

6:05 And, you know, it's oftentimes those of us who have the greatest amount of suffering that want to change the most because if your life is hunky-dory and you're getting along and it's comfortable, you don't really have a lot of motivation to change. So I think a lot of people who listen to this and more specifically are interested in our kind of content, they've probably had a lot of suffering in their life. And as we've said in the past, sometimes your suffering can be your greatest gift because it shows you what those things are that you need to change.

6:34 It really shines that light clearly onto those issues that you have, those sticking points that you have. And the great thing about life and the great thing about being human is that you can always improve. You can always, always get better. And one person said this philosophical thing that really resonated with me and I think about it literally every day. When you die and your maker meets you, what if he has next to him a version of you that's the absolute best version you could have become?

7:06 The absolute most ripped, the most financially successful, the most successful with girls, the most confident. Everything you want to be is that guy. Will he be your twin brother or will you hardly recognize him? I absolutely love that because every day I try to strive to get better, to be that guy. And another thing that I think about is what if I met the 10-year-old version of me or let's put it in the context of you, the listener. What if you met your 10-year-old self? Would that kid be stoked and impressed and would he idolize you or would he look at you and be like, man, what a loser?

7:44 Are you living a life that's up to par with what your 10-year-old self would want you to do or have you let that kid down? I mean think about him. Look at him right now. Like look in his eyes. Are you living up to that standard? Now again, you're listening to this podcast because I think you are trying to live up to that standard and honestly I respect you because you're getting after it. I mean 95% of people don't do that. 95% of people right now are watching Netflix, sitting on the couch, smoking weed, just basically fussing their lives down the toilet.

8:16 And when they meet that guy, when they meet their future version of what they could have been, they're going to be like, who the fuck is that? It kind of looks like me but that ain't me. I personally don't want to experience that and another thing is when you get to the end of your life, a lot of people say you don't regret what you did. You regret what you didn't do and that always sticks with me too. So getting into finding things about yourself that you need to change, one good strategy is to keep asking, so what?

8:50 So you say to yourself, well, I'm afraid of approaching women, okay? So what? Well, the reason I'm afraid of approaching women is because I'm afraid of rejection. So what? The reason I'm afraid of rejection is because I don't want to be ostracized. And what happens is you get down, you keep asking why or so what or whatever fits it. You get down to the core reason as to why you're not doing a certain thing or why you haven't accomplished your goal. And then you find very clearly what it is you need to work on.

9:20 Yeah, that's a really good exercise. I've been doing that for a while because really a lot of the time, like these issues that people have on the surface, it's really 10 levels deeper. So like – but the thing is you can't tell people that because then they like – they don't even have a context to understand it, right? So like, you know, I mean with getting – attracting women, right? It's like most guys think that the problem is like something external, right? So it's like, oh, I don't have money or I don't have looks or I don't have like the Porsche and the Lamborghini or like something like that.

9:56 But it's like if you really look at the root cause of the problem, it's something that's most likely from your childhood, right? That's like stopping you from being the best person you could be and just expressing who you are and just being outgoing and fun and just okay with yourself and being comfortable with who you are. And so that's one way to really know yourself too is just look at what your childhood was like. Like observe the patterns. Like did you always get chastised? Like this one, for example, is really common with like a lot of the Indian men that I coach is like for some reason – I don't know why if it's cultural or what – but a lot of Indian men have like very, very mean mothers.

10:35 And so that sets up a context for them in relating with women in the future, right? Or like a lot of people that we coach from Asia, right? In Asian culture, anytime you try to stand out or like do something that's going to bring attention to you, you get cut down, right? And so just like looking back to the roots of your childhood and who you are and asking those questions like what were the patterns, right? How did this affect me? Like what were the patterns?

11:00 And I keep saying that because that's what's so key is like what were the fucking patterns because if you can find the patterns, you know, every time there's a pattern, it leaves an imprint on you. And every time there's a pattern, you can figure out what the imprint is and you can figure out how to fix it. So you just always have to go back to the roots, right? It's the roots. I mean Carl Jung said that – he said something that was really, really profound.

11:23 He was a Swiss psychologist who was a pupil of Freud and he said that in order for a tree to grow as tall as heaven, its roots have to reach as deep as hell. And so that's kind of how you want to look at your life is like, okay, like really go down to like the core of your being and just see like what – how was I affected growing up? Like what did these things do to me? What event – like what – one good exercise too is like create – there's different ways to do it but create five major epochs in your life depending on how old you are, right?

11:57 You might want to lessen those number of epochs, epochs, however the hell you pronounce that, time ranges in your life if you're younger. But basically create a few major timeframes in your life that you feel like were like an era, right? So one might be like when I was in preschool, another might be like middle school, and then one might be like high school, college, and like my adult life. And then figure out – write down five of the most important life-changing events that happened during that time period and then which you'll start to see as a pattern.

12:26 You'll start to see, okay, so like it looks like maybe not all five but like three of these were like pretty bad and they involved rejection, right? So how is that affecting me today? And again, like it's the same thing. It just – it keeps all coming back to like how were you affected when you were a kid, right? How did that affect you and how is it still affecting you now? I like that. I like that epoch or epic or whatever the hell it's pronounced.

12:49 I really like that a lot. I've never done that. But as you were talking about that, I was looking back through my life as I'm sure our listeners were and I was like, wow, I really can divide it. And it's interesting because I'm moving right now. I'm actually moving to a nicer place and I was looking at one of my diaries from like when I was in college and it was so negative and so depressed and so like suicidal because like I said back during that time, I was suicidal.

13:17 And the impression I had, the feeling I got was like almost humorous because I was like, man, this kid is just so lost and like what a pussy. You know what I mean? But during that time, those were real feelings for me and I really did consider suicide. So another lesson to learn from that is that things can get better and they can get a lot better. And, you know, as long as you stay in the fight and you don't give up, you know, things will change positively for you.

13:44 But one other thing I wanted to say is our self-esteem is developed within the first seven years of our lives. So those first seven years are extremely impressionable. And like John said, if something bad happens to you, that almost like creates what's called a meta program, which is imagine your brain as a computer and you have software in there. Well, you're working with like Windows 98, right? These are old programs that are outdated. They don't freaking work. So in my case, my dad died when I was 10.

14:17 And after he died, I got into this really weird self-defeating thing where I was continuously insulting myself. And I realize now the reason I was doing that is because I was trying to get attention from my mom because, you know, my dad died whenever I was 10 years old. So I was insulting myself. And what happened is my mom took me to a psychologist or a psychiatrist and they looked at me and they said, OK, we need to take this kid's blood. And what happened is I didn't know they were going to take my blood.

14:48 They took me in the back and they put this thing on my arm. I was like, well, what are you guys doing? They're like, don't worry about it. And they stuck the needle in my arm and I was – I freaked out. I was like, dude, what the fuck? Get that out of here. And they actually held me down. They held me down as they took my blood. And years later, literally the last two years, I've been working with NLP coach, neurolinguistic programming coach, and I was really afraid of needles.

15:12 And I didn't know why because I had literally forgotten about that situation. So through his processes, he showed me that I have this tremendous fear based on a childhood event. And I was like, oh, damn. I didn't even remember that. But it was truly a panic that I would get when I would see needles. And so through the processes, what we did is we reprogrammed the computer because those old programs weren't beneficial to my life. They weren't doing anything good for me. My brain thought it was protecting me from harm because of that bad experience when I was a kid.

15:46 But really, it was – it's like fucked up. It's not working correctly. So what's really cool about neurolinguistic programming is you actually reprogram that computer and you reset everything so that you have now a healthy perspective on it. And I'm proud to announce that over the last couple of months, I've gone and given blood a couple of times. I got a tattoo and it was a nine-hour tattoo where before I was deftly afraid of giving a tattoo. So this stuff really works. So there are certain things you can do and one of them is working with a coach, which John and I both highly, highly suggest.

16:22 We both work with coaches. We actually work with the same coach. I just introduced John to my NLP coach and you've been having great progress with him. So stoked about that. And one of those things is because, again, when you're really close to the problem, you can't see what's causing it. But then somebody who has training can come in from an outside perspective and say, hey, man, you were held down when you were 10 years old and that's why you have this fear of needles. And you're like, oh, my god.

16:50 Even though it happened to me, I did not realize that. Boom, boom, boom. Like literally it was one hour. It was a one-hour session. He was able to reprogram my mind around needles and blood and tattoos and all that stuff. And now it's like, what up, dude? I'll go give whatever. I'll give blood anytime I want to. And that's pretty impressive stuff that you could just go in there and rewire the brain like that. So this is a good opportunity to give a little plug about my service.

17:18 I do offer coaching services. You can just click in the link below. Check it out. It's one-on-one coaching with me where I help you identify these issues that you have. And we quickly blow through them with proven NLP tactics and other tactics that I've learned through my 15 years of coaching so that you, too, can go beyond these limiting things that are holding you back from what you want to be and what you want to become. Yeah, and I think that analogy of the programming, right, the software and the hardware is really, really key.

17:52 So I was first introduced to that idea in the book Prometheus Rising. And so the whole idea behind that is basically that you have a sort of foundation for how your mind is going to work, right? And that's like the hardware. It's sort of just built into your mind. But then there's the software. And that's what you can take out and put back in and reprogram and program. And it's far more malleable, right? And so, you know, the way that this works, right, I mean, is there's multiple frameworks for understanding your mind, right?

18:25 You can, you know, I mean, the most basic would just be like your subconscious mind and your conscious mind, right? That's a very basic old psychological way of understanding how you think, you know. But then you start getting into like, okay, like what about the id, the ego, and the superego? And then there's, you know, really complicated models like the – like spiral dynamics and Ken Wilber's work. But, you know, I really think that for everyone listening to this, if you just purchased that book and read it, you would learn so much from it like I did.

18:52 Because, I mean, there's – it's going to provide a map for you to literally navigate your own mind and get the best out of it. So, you know, if you can't afford coaching like I couldn't, you know, a while ago, then, you know, get a book, right? Literally get a book. I mean you can also check out – I have a video on this channel. It's the first video that I actually ever published, and it's on the eight circuits of consciousness. So I give a description of each circuit, and I'm going to update it probably in the future as I come out with more information and just like make videos on each circuit in particular.

19:24 But, you know, I mean the best thing, if you want to do those things, great. But if you can afford it, coaching is the best thing because like Mark said, you know, when you're so close to the problem that you can't even notice it, like you don't even realize that you have a problem, right? It's like if you're just used to living your life a certain way and it's just always been that way, it's like you can't even recognize that there's anything else. And it's just outside of your level of awareness.

19:50 And so when you work with a coach who has, you know, 20 years of experience or more, they can literally come in. And because they've been there and they've seen so many people, they can say, oh, okay, you know, here, here, and here, right? These are your highest leverage points. And then you can just focus in on those points and you can get 20x the results in like, you know, a week than you could before in years, you know? So those are the three layers of basically improving yourself, right?

20:16 The first one is like free, which there's thankfully so much of nowadays. There's free videos and PDFs and you can even go to like Pirate Bay and download shit. There's paid, you know, which would be like, you know, books and e-books and video courses. And then there's like, you know, direct work, which would be like consulting and coaching. And, you know, you want to work your way up ideally over time. Well, I was going to say, and I apologize for interrupting you there, but I was going to say a lot of people have limiting beliefs just around what coaching can do.

20:44 They think one hour, what the fuck can get done in one hour? Because they have this idea that progress takes time. But if you can identify the sticking point and immediately address it, it doesn't have to take time at all. In fact, I've had way better progress working with coaches than I have all the books I've read, you know, all the meditation I've done. Those have all helped. Don't get me wrong. And, you know, I attribute much of my success to that as well. But the coaching, holy shit, man.

21:12 Like I was telling you, John, just in the last few years that I've been working with our NLP coach, it's been night and day difference. I don't even recognize myself. And I feel like I'm getting closer to that guy who I'm supposed to be at this age and I'm, you know, I'm embodying him more. I mean, I'm ripped now. I finally got those tattoos I wanted. Not that that's like a big deal. But for me, it was a fear that I wanted to conquer. It represents more than just like art on my body.

21:39 It represents something huge for me. And so, you know, I imagine that guy having that look, being ripped, being financially successful, being able to pull girls. And every day I want to strive to get closer to that guy because I feel like that's why we're here. We're here to grow. We're here to develop, you know, like life doesn't stagnate. Life is either developing or it's dying. There's no middle point. It's either growing or it's withering away. And through our whole lives, as long as we continually have the discipline, continuously go for goals and try to better ourselves, then we are growing.

22:16 But the second you stop and you start playing video games and watching Netflix, not that that's bad, you know, done in moderation. But the second you just give in and say I'm comfortable, that's when you start dying. That's when you start losing that joy and that fulfillment. And that's what we're all going for. Everybody ultimately wants to be happy. And I feel, and we've spoken about this in the past, that you have to give yourself missions. You have to give yourself objectives to be happy. And the very best place to start is to look within and say, okay, dude, what's my sticking point?

22:46 Like John has a tattoo that says, follow your fear. Isn't that it, John? Follow your fear? Yeah, follow your fear. Follow your fear. Dude, that's like the fucking best tattoo ever. I'm stealing it, man. I'm getting a tattoo on my fucking neck, dude. Because it's so true that your fear is where you should start. That's where you should start is, look, what are you afraid of most? And I mean, we all have tons of fears. I still have lots of fears I want to deal with.

23:12 And I know that those are my guiding light. Okay, dude, what's next? And every time you persevere through that fear, every time you identify it, every time you go after it, and you accomplish it, and you step on it, and you stick it under the heel of your foot, and you lift yourself up, you will not believe how much progress you make and how much happiness you'll get just by tackling your fears and getting over them. Huge for self-development and huge for your happiness, and the thing is that a lot of times, the places where you stand to gain the most and the highest ROI are the places that are usually shrouded in fear.

23:52 Right, so like, you know, I was reading a book recently by Eben Pagan, who's a really, really famous internet marketer and email marketer, content marketer. And he basically was talking about how your life has, you know, four separate areas, right? It's his book, Opportunity. And, you know, your life has basically, you know, your health, your wealth, your social life, and then like your fulfillment or happiness, right? And if you're, whichever area you're lagging in the most, if you just focus a little bit on that area, you'll get more of a return from focusing a little bit on that area than any other area, right?

24:30 Because, you know, think about it like, you know, fear, fear, the way that I see fear is it's like, there's, it's not just the thing that you're afraid of. It's like 10 levels deeper, right? So like, say that you're afraid of, you know, talking to girls, right? And say that, you know, because there's a lot of guys that are very wealthy, you know, that are jacked. You see them at the gym, you know, they have a great car and a great job and they're just in great shape and they have those areas of their life set.

24:58 But that's only like a third of the equation, right? So if they just get even a little bit proficient at talking to women and they just follow that fear and, you know, get some dates and find, maybe find a girlfriend that they like. That, you know, that, the amount that they stand to gain from that is so much greater than if they earn like an extra $10,000 a month or something, right? So you always want to follow your fear because that's a really, really good indicator that there's some sort of a past experience that's holding you back and you need to mine it for knowledge.

25:30 I love that. I love that. Okay. So there is a technique I want to give you guys. It's from, again, NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming. So what you do is you take a situation. Since we're speaking about approaching girls, let's just go ahead and stick with that. So you say, okay, approaching girls, how do I feel about that? I feel nervous. Okay. Well, how do I feel about feeling nervous? I feel a little bit embarrassed about that. How do I feel about feeling embarrassed? I feel, I don't know, angry.

26:02 Okay. How do I feel about feeling angry? So every emotion that you have, it's called the, I think it's called the tree ladder or something like that, branching, treeing, something like this. But what you do is you get the core emotion and you say, how do I feel about feeling that? And then you get another one and then you keep going up and up and up and up until you can't go any further. And now that's all you have to do. Surprisingly, you would think, okay, well, what's next, Mark?

26:29 Like what's, what's the big, you know, the big key to this. That's it. It's basically, again, when you can identify what that core emotion is, that's preventing you from doing something or feeling a certain way about something. Then just simply shining the light of attention on it and simply, simply acknowledging it and kind of getting it out from its hiding place and looking at it is sometimes enough to completely cure it just by knowing what it is. So try that right now. Whatever your fear is.

26:56 I, I, I feel really negative towards money. Well, how do I feel about feeling negative towards money? I feel angry about that. And then you keep going and going. And a lot of times you'll get to an emotion that's completely different from the original emotion. It's usually, it's usually negative. Actually, it's always negative, but it's completely different. You hadn't realized like, holy shit, like I feel ashamed to approach a woman. And once you realize that, it opens up something within you and your consciousness goes to work on it and you start fixing yourself.

27:28 So that's, I think it's called limbing actually. I don't know. John, have you ever used that? I mean, that sounds similar to like the, the other technique that we were talking about where it's like, why? Okay. So why? So why? So why? Yeah. But dealing with feelings, but I haven't used that in a particular. No. Yeah. It's really, it's really effective to do that. So that's one. I like to give, you know, concrete, tangible techniques that these guys can use rather than just waxing on about philosophy and stuff, which is great too.

27:54 But I always try to give, you know, tactile techniques. So, so that's one technique you can use for sure. Very effective. Yeah. Well, you need both too. I mean, but that's, I like that though, because awareness alone is curative. Right. Like the second that you become aware of something, it, it ceases to have power over you because it's when you're not aware of something that it has power over you. You know? And also, real quick, sorry to interrupt you, but with approaching girls, right? I got a lot of guys have approached anxiety there.

28:24 There's something called the three second rule. You just go up, you just within three seconds, you do it because that's before your conscious mind can make up excuses to stop you from doing it. Yeah. So one thing that's interesting is we've spoken about this in a previous podcast is that you don't get the courage before you do something. You actually get the courage after. So if you can just kind of make yourself do it, like fling yourself off the ship as it were and just make yourself freaking do it 10 times in a row, I'm going to open 10 girls in a row at a bar and then I'll leave.

28:53 I promise myself I'll just leave. If you could do that, you'll start realizing like, wow, it's, it's not so bad. And you can punch through that fear because you prove to yourself that the fear was illogical. The fear was doing you no good. And within just, you know, five minutes, you can punch through fear by kind of making yourself do it. You know what I mean? Just jump off that bridge, jump into the cold water, just go for it. And then you prove to yourself that, huh, my fear was totally, it had no base to stand on.

29:23 And then, bam, you get past it just like that. Yeah, yeah. And a good way to train that instinct to just kind of take action and not make excuses is taking cold showers, right? Because when you, when you, you know, like a lot of time, you know, like when I first started taking cold showers, for example, and I mean like cold, cold. Like if you, if you live in fucking Florida, you're probably, you know, won't even get as cold as you need to. But, you know, just like cold, cold, cold, fucking cold.

29:48 Like 35 degrees. Can I ease into it, slowly get it colder and colder? Or is it fucking right from the get-go? If you want to start off that way, sure. But I just started, because I'm not a pussy, I just started off cold. I'm just kidding. But so, you know, because like what you do is you train your, that side of your brain where it's like, oh, I can, what if I just like ease into it? Or what if I just like, you know, I'm not feeling like whatever.

30:09 Like you just like turn the knob or just like step into the water. You just train your brain like not to make excuses and just to fucking do it. And then that will bleed into other areas of your life. And so I find that, you know, I can't even get a good cold shower unless it's winter. Because like, you know, now it's like during the summer. Even though most guys probably couldn't handle like a cold shower, you know, at this temperature in the summer. It's like, it's like nothing to me.

30:32 But when it's in the winter and like the pipes are freezing cold and that water just crushes out. And it's just like, you know, like now I do fucking, I do cryotherapy where for two and a half minutes or maybe, yeah, it's two and a half minutes. You get in this like tank that sprays liquid nitrogen at you. And it's like negative 200 degrees, I think. And yeah, for two and a half minutes. And like, you know, it's just like doing shit like that that makes you fucking uncomfortable.

30:57 Yeah, it's like, you know, just and it's just like training your brain to not like, be like, oh, but like, let me let me like research. What if what if the medical benefits aren't real? Or like, what if like this and like, no, no, no, just you just do it. And then like, when you see a pretty girl, you just don't think you're just like, oh, you just walk up and you just like act faster than your mind can think. Right. Right. Remember, always remember that guys act faster than your mind can think.

31:18 Yeah, I love that. That's awesome. It also raises your testosterone. It does. Yeah. And and one thing I wanted to mention, too, is a lot of guys who are who are sad or depressed and can't really figure out what's wrong with them. Oftentimes, it's hormonal and you might be having low testosterone, which I know was the case for me. I was about 25 pounds overweight. And the more fat you have, the more estrogen you produce and the lower your testosterone is. That's correct. Right, John? Absolutely. Yeah.

31:47 Yeah. So oftentimes, if you're out of shape and you have a bad diet, too, I mean, diet is so freaking important. You're not getting the nutrients you need and your hormones are off balance. That'll oftentimes make you feel like shit. It'll lower your confidence. It'll lower your testosterone. And if you get your diet together, you start getting ripped. You're going to feel so much better. I feel better now than I did in my late 20s and all through my 30s because that's when I started letting myself go.

32:14 I was weak and I admit it wholeheartedly. And I finally got some discipline in my life. And I did that cold shower in the form of getting my diet straight. I threw out all the sugar that was in my house. I started getting super clean, super clean food, like almost no sugar at all, very little carbs. And my testosterone just flew through the roof. And I know it did because I can feel it. I mean, when I'm working out, it's like fucking war going through my veins.

32:41 Like I just want to put my goddamn elbow through a wall sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Like that feeling. And I haven't felt that since my early 20s. And, you know, when I have sex with my girlfriend, I just like she looks like she got hit with a fucking tornado. Whereas, you know, before when I was having the little bitch man's diet, it's like, it's like, eh, eh, eh, eh. Yeah. Dude, we should do a whole podcast on that. Just raising tests. Oh, we definitely will.

33:10 Because surprisingly, that's one of the things I've been working on with my mentor is just getting into your masculinity. And, you know, that's another serendipitous event that brought you and I together, getting more masculine, getting the testosterone up. And, I mean, it makes a world of difference. So if you're wondering, like, man, I just don't feel – I just don't feel good. I just kind of feel like shit. I get headaches or I can't sleep or I'm just not feeling confident. I don't feel like the way I used to.

33:38 It's a very subtle change and it's a demonic, slow, creeping, black tar that comes over your entire life. And before you know it, you're just blown out, bro. It's just like you're chubby and you have a shitty diet. So one of the first places I tell my students to look is their diet. Like a lot of guys will get coaching with me and they'll have problems with women and I'll ask them, well, what do you eat? What's your diet? And they'll be like, well, why do you want to know that?

34:05 I thought we were going to work on women and, you know, it's something very quick that you can change. So, again, hormones. Hormones are gigantic, huge for how you feel. Absolutely. I mean when I coach guys, that's like one of the first things I focus on because, I mean, it's like – you know, it's like – think about like – I mean it's your body, dude. Like people don't – they underestimate the importance of that. I mean that's like, you know, if you're like in a car and you like fucking want to drive from like California to like Maryland.

34:33 And you're like, okay, like so how do we get there? And I'm like, well, hold on. Like let's look at your fucking car. And they're like, no, but I want to get there. Like which way do I take? He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, okay, like why don't we upgrade your car to like a fucking Lamborghini and then we can get there instead of driving this fucking shitty ass 1985 Toyota Camry. Like why don't we upgrade it, you know? And it's like that's your body.

34:51 It's like that – it's the vehicle that you use for everything, literally everything. Everything that you do when you work, everything that you do when you think, everything you do when you sleep, like when you're with your friends, when you're with women, like everything. It's like your vehicle in the world. And if that isn't on point, then literally everything you do isn't going to be as good as it could be. But if you get it on point, if you eat right, eat foods that boost testosterone, you work out, you're in good shape, you have energy, everything just works so much better.

35:19 What kind of foods boost testosterone? First of all, egg yolks, dude. I've been wanting to say that for the past 10 minutes. Fucking egg yolks because like this is one of the biggest bullshit myths that really pisses me off that makes me wonder if like there's some sort of a fucking agenda to lower testosterone in this country. Because like – I mean if you just look at the facts, like cholesterol, eating cholesterol has almost no link to the cholesterol in your bloodstream. And I mean like I don't want to get too much into it here but like dude, just eat egg yolks, eat fucking like ferment – like sauerkraut, eat fucking like steak, red meat, fucking olives, like just all this bullshit about like avoid fat, avoid fat.

35:56 No, no, no. Like fat is fucking good. The fat that isn't good is like trans fat from fucking fried foods and donuts and shit. But like natural healthy fats are amazing for testosterone. Yeah, and also red meat, that whole myth about red meat causes cancer and like it's such a fucking myth and we will get into it on a different podcast. But it was perpetuated by a food industry that had vested interest into putting down red meat and stuff like that. It's like I don't want to go off too much on this tangent because the – Big Agra.

36:25 Oh man, we would go on for like three hours. So anyway, getting your diet settled and another thing I want to say where diet is concerned is that my diet won't necessarily work for you and your diet won't necessarily work for me. All our bodies are completely different and again, could go off on a tangent but I think it's based on ancestry, DNA, blood type, stuff like that. So you really need to experiment but it can be said that I'm telling you sugar is not good for anybody, nobody.

36:53 I don't give a fuck who you are. It's no good and I'm talking processed sugar. So we've mentioned this in the past where when you go shopping, the best thing you can do is stay on the perimeter of the supermarket because all the shit that's in the middle, the Cheetos, the Nella wafers, the Oreos, which I love Oreos. But different podcasts, that's all junk. That's all going to make you weak. It's going to make you feel like shit. So just – I look at that stuff and I'm like weakness, dude.

37:18 Like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, fucking weakness. Oreos, weakness. Like broccoli. Weakness in a box. Weakness in a box, man. Fucking weak. Like broccoli, strength, dude. Like ground turkey, strength and honor, dude. Like maximum. You know what I mean? Yeah, like Gladiator. Yeah, Gladiator, bro. Strength and honor. Strength and honor. Strength and honor. Yeah, this is – and real quick too, just on the topic of getting to know your – and like knowing yourself, getting to know your flaws and stuff. Like this applies to what we're saying too because like sometimes I'll coach people and I literally heard people – someone say this once and people say it a lot where it's like, oh, like it doesn't count if no one sees me eat it.

37:55 What? And I'm just – like it's a common thing that people say when they're like overweight and they're like trying to diet and they're not that serious. And I'm just like, bitch, like what the fuck do you mean it doesn't count because no one saw it? Like does it – is it going into your body? Yeah. Okay, then it fucking counts. Like that's one – you know, like know yourself. Know what you're putting into your body. Like literally most guys never read the nutrition labels on what they're eating.

38:20 Like think about that. It's like you wouldn't just go to some fucking like random ass place and some guy is like, hey, like put this shit in your car, dude. And you're like, what is it? And you're like, oh, no. It's like, okay. And you're just putting – like no. You'd fucking be like, what is it? Like is it gasoline? Like is it like – what octane is it? Like you want to fucking know. Same with your body. Like know what you're putting into your body.

38:37 Read the labels. Like read what's in that shit. Read if you're having artificial sweeteners. If you're getting fucking like soy and different stuff and like just like the nutrients and like everything. Like know what you're putting in your body. Know yourself. Soy lowers your testosterone by the way. And also the more shit – the more it's fucked with by humans, the worse it is for you as a general rule. The more shit that's in it. So again, just stay on the perimeter and I love how John Anthony is getting all fired up.

39:02 I'm loving this energy out of you, man. Yeah. You can tell it's what I care about, what I'm passionate about. Yeah, dude. I love it. I love it. So just pay attention to that, man, and discipline. Now another thing I want to say is that your gut microbiome gets used to that shitty food. So the first couple of months when you switch over is going to be hell. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's going to be hell. But once you get past those few months, you're going to start feeling so much better.

39:30 You're going to get more confident. Like a lot of your problems will just get solved by getting your fucking hormones in balance. And that's why, again, John and I, when we do coaching, we oftentimes will focus on the temple, the body, the Lamborghini. We're going to get that thing firing on all cylinders. And a lot of times these insecurities and bullshit and all this stuff that you're dealing with will just go away because your mechanism is working correctly. I mean like John said, if you have a shitty fucking 1985 Toyota Camry with a brown door and a stallion painted on the fucking windshield or the – you're going to get blown out, bro.

40:07 It's like you're not going to have confidence. But if you get that shit running like a champ and you step into that Lamborghini, it's like panties are going to be flying at you. It's like you just drove through a lingerie section because everything changes when you get the mechanism working correctly. So that's another really important place to start. Definitely. Definitely. I think – is that about to wrap it up? Man, you got all fired up and then you just petered out. You blew your load, bro.

40:33 You blew your load. I know. I came too fast. You're a too long job, bro. I know, man. We're 40 minutes in now. I am moving today. Yeah. But look at the commitment I'm showing, dude. Like even though I'm in – I got boxes all around me right now. I'm like, fuck this. I'm going to still do my podcast. Fuck these boxes of weakness. Fuck these. Yeah, fuck that weakness, dude. Nothing is going to stop me from doing the Unapologetic Man podcast, motherfuckers. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about it.

41:06 I mean we're 40 minutes in. You think that's going to be enough for our listeners? I mean we can obviously put out more content. And as I move into my new place, I'm going to set up like a recording studio and update the YouTube channel like pretty often. So you're moving into a new place too, eh? I am, yeah. It's an upgrade, man. Yeah. I'm running out of a nice big place for myself. It's going to be awesome. Good, yeah. Yeah, I am too, man. Always trying to upgrade.

41:29 Always trying to get better. And that's the thing too is like if you're better than the guy you were yesterday, then you're making progress again, continuously growing. So I think we're good. 41 minutes in. Let's go ahead and wrap it up. So I'm just going to plug my two offers here. First of all, I offer a approach formula. And what that is, is it shows you the step-by-step method to approach a woman, engage her in conversation, and walk away with her phone number with the greatest chance of her texting you back.

42:02 How about that, huh? And this is based on over 10,000 approaches of me and my team. This isn't no bullshit little e-book that we threw together in like one day. This is real fucking techniques. This is real stuff that really works. Been doing this for a long time. And I give you a really good blueprint to follow, to approach women, and how to engage them in conversations that actually build attraction, how to angle the conversation so that she's actually attracted to you when you walk away and she's like, oh, man, I can't wait for him to text me back.

42:33 Now, I usually sell this program for $32, but since you're a champion who's listening to the Unapologetic Man podcast for 42 minutes, you can grab it for just $10. And that is at gettheapproachformula.com. I also have an upgrade offer on there. It's for a book called The Conversation Sniper, and it gives you over 100 funny lines and conversation savers so that if you run out of things to say, just throw those into the conversation. It will spark life back into your conversation and get her interested in you again.

43:09 I know a lot of guys hate it when they're talking to a girl. They run out of things to say, and then she's like, well, it was good talking to you. Bye. And they're like, fuck, I just had something to say. Well, The Conversation Sniper is there for you. It gives you conversation savers and all kinds of funny shit, man, that will just have girls just cracking up. That shit is going to get you laid all by itself. And that's available on the back end of The Approach Formula.

43:32 Again, it's gettheapproachformula.com. I also offer one-on-one phone coaching. You can do that by just clicking the link below. I have to get a unique URL for that. I haven't done that yet. But that's one-on-one coaching with me. And I'm telling you, you can blow through sticking points and really make rapid improvements in both yourself and in your game by working with me because I'm very good at identifying your sticking points and helping you blast through them. So those are my plugs. John, you want to go ahead and tell them about your products?

44:03 Awesome. So yeah, so masculinedevelopment.com. I have hundreds of free articles, really high quality, like long articles, like thousands and thousands, sometimes upwards of 5,000 words per article. Just tons of free content. Check out the rest of my YouTube channel too. I'm going to be updating it more in the future on all different types of stuff. And of course, my two products, really I have three, but the third is closed. I'll mention that in a second. But the first product is Seven Strategies to Develop Your Masculinity, and this is my best-selling product by far.

44:34 It's sold thousands of copies across the world, changed thousands of lives. And right now, I'm actually giving away four bonuses with it. So you can check out the bonuses. Go to the page. I'll put a link down below. But one of them in and of itself is probably worth like $100, man. It's the – you know this, Mark, The Art of Tinder, the book that I wrote after sleeping with literally like hundreds of girls from Tinder. I literally put everything that I learned from literally years of just like testing, testing, testing on Tinder, testing different lines, testing different things that you can say and like how to respond to what they say.

45:09 And then, okay, you say this. They say that. Then this is what you say in return. Testing different fucking like pictures in your profile, like learning what type of girl you're talking to. Just like literally everything I learned from sleeping with over 100 women on Tinder condensed into one e-book, and it's a free bonus. It's not even the main product. It's a free bonus with seven strategies to develop your masculinity, which is basically just what it sounds like. It's seven highly effective strategies that you can implement into your life, and following these strategies will basically make you more masculine, more assertive, more dominant, more attractive to women, just an all-around better man who's just kicking ass and fucking taking names in life.

45:49 Hey, real quick, John. What about that book you have, You've Got Nudes? That's the one I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's another one of the bonuses too. Oh, man, that's a good one. Again, yeah, it comes with four bonuses. You can check them all out down below, guys. So You've Got Nudes is basically everything I've learned from how to text girls and get them to send you nudes, right? So like a lot of time, guys, you know, they come at it so clumsy. They don't know what to say.

46:14 They're just like, hey, babe, can I have pics? And it just doesn't fucking work. And, you know, you need to have some finesse if you're going to get some nudes. So definitely check out Seven Strategies to Develop Your Masculinity. It comes with all sorts of fucking crazy bonuses. Click on the link down below. And the second product that I have is Body of an Alpha, which is my best-selling e-book on fitness that also comes with some awesome bonuses. And, you know, like we were talking about in the podcast, if you have, like, you know, just depression, if you're not feeling great, if you're overweight, you know, a lot of these problems are caused by your hormones.

46:49 And so if you get a good workout routine that boosts your testosterone, you know, if you follow the right diet that I talk about in Body of an Alpha, you will transform before your very eyes. I was actually at the gym today, and I swear to God, dude, every fucking girl there was looking at me. Yeah. It was amazing. Like, if you guys build a great physique, things will happen so much more easily. If you get both Seven Strategies and Body of an Alpha, it's fucking over.

47:16 It's like blowing up an ant with a nuclear bomb. Okay, so Body of an Alpha comes with three free bonuses, and that's three free e-books that are bonuses, not including the Facebook chat where you actually get added to a group of other men that, you know, ask questions and share advice. So the bonuses, one of the bonuses that comes with Body of an Alpha is Pumped to Pull, which is actually the exact plan that I follow before I go out to get a 37% increase in muscle mass right before I go to the club so I look fucking huge and jacked.

47:49 You can check that out in the link down below. And then thirdly, this product isn't available right now, but it will be in the future because we actually let in 30 guys into this group, and they're already making money. Basically, the whole product is called Bitcoin Millionaire. It chronicles my success on how I make six figures trading Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. It's a 12-hour video course with 10 modules. I include market updates, everything you need to know from beginner to advanced. I give you updates on everything that I'm buying and selling and trading, so you literally just do exactly what I do, and you will make fucking money with me.

48:26 So check the link down below, and maybe you'll be notified when it opens next. So yeah, that's MasculineDevelopment.com, Seven Strategies to Develop Your Masculinity, Body of an Alpha, and Bitcoin Millionaire. Do you have anything else you want to add, Mark? That is all for me, man. Great podcast today. Really appreciate it. And man, you're getting good at those plugs, bro. Definitely, dude. Rifling them off, dude, like a champion. Thank you, man. Appreciate it. All right, guys. Well, we appreciate you stopping by. We will be back.

48:56 And as soon as John and I actually get into our places, we're going to be rifling off two podcasts a week for a little while just to kind of get a surplus of them because we know you guys really want them. We get people asking us for more and more and more. So we're going to start rifling them off then. And soon enough, man, we'll have lots in the bucket where hopefully we're putting out good content for you guys to learn from. And we really appreciate you listening 50 minutes in now.

49:21 And if you could slap a like on this video and if you could even go so far as to subscribe, we would really, really appreciate it. You guys are champions. Keep up the good fight. Always improve every day and get after it. Thanks a lot, guys. We will see you next time. All right.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.