The 5 Distinct Stages of Confidence

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and being a fucking man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, John Anthony. And I'm Mark Sing. And today we're going to be talking about the five stages of confidence. So this is actually based off of my friend Mark's website, alphasymposium.com. He wrote an article on this and we thought that we'd kind of dive into it. Because, you know, as you go down your self-improvement journey, whether it's with finances, with women, with, you know, health and fitness, or with personal growth, like in confidence or things like that, you'll find that there's generally a lot of patterns that seem to kind of add up, right?

0:46 So that's why Miyamoto Musashi said, by learning one thing, you learn 1,000 things. It's because by learning, you learn how to learn and you learn that there's this sort of overarching structure of what it is that you're doing. So these five stages of confidence are different stages that you'll go through in your life as you progress as a person. And some people don't ever get past the first stage, unfortunately. But hopefully, most of us can get pretty far in this structure. So the first one is basically making the change from forced confidence to natural confidence.

1:22 And, you know, when I talk about forced confidence, the first image that comes to mind is kind of like a try-hard, like drug dealer thug who's just like, what? Like, come at me, bro. Like that kind of thing. Um, you know, because that's basically fake confidence. It's like people that just preen and posture and, and they, you know, act really tough and talk really loud because they're trying to prove something. And, uh, you know, if, uh, there's a great quote from, uh, Game of Thrones that comes to mind actually, where Tyrion Lannister was talking about Joffrey, Geoffrey, whatever the fuck that little faggot's name was.

1:57 I fucking hate that kid. And, um, he basically said, if you have to say that you're the king, you're not the king. And, uh, that's the same with confidence, right? If you have to shout and, and, you know, preen and posture and talk about how you're the man, you're the shit, you're not, you're not confident. Yeah, absolutely. And, and also when you are shouting, check me out, I'm confident, look at me. You're really, you're really depending on the reaction of others. So as we've spoken about previously, when you get to a point of, of true masculinity, true confidence, true self-esteem, you don't care what other people think.

2:35 But when you initially get confidence, you kind of want to show it to the world. And you'll see this a lot at the gym where guys are just walking around posturing and you'll see it in the nightclubs where people will be like sticking out their chest too much. And, you know, trying to be like the alpha wolf kicking everybody's ass. But you'll, you'll notice that that state is dependent on the reaction of others. They're trying to intimidate others to almost improve, to prove to themselves and to prove to other people that they are confident.

3:02 But when you, when you reach true confidence, you don't give a shit what other people think. You're not what we call out outcome dependent. So you get kind of a relaxed, a relaxed version of yourself. Whereas before you're kind of posturing and you're trying to shove it into everybody's face. And eventually you evolve into, Hey, I don't really care what you think. I'm completely relaxed in my body. I'm completely at ease. I'm not protecting myself by like posturing up. In fact, I'm exposed. Like my, my wrists are exposed.

3:32 My neck is exposed. I have very open, relaxed body language. And you'll find that the guys who pull the most girls in the nightclubs and the bars, and even in day game, it's almost like, it's almost like the same body language that you probably have right now listening to this podcast. You're probably just chilling on your couch or maybe you're driving your car and you have really at ease body language and that's reflective of your confidence. That's reflective of vulnerability. And when you get to a point from forced confidence to what we call natural confidence, you're going to find you just, you just have this relaxed state about you.

4:10 And when it comes to women, they can really pick up on that. It can. Yeah. I mean, um, you know, men and women are different in many ways. And one of the ways that women are different than men is that they're far more attuned to different social cues and, uh, character cues that, that they give off the men give off and other women give offs, right? So, um, you know, the old pickup analogy is that male attraction is like a switch, right? You just turn it on and you turn it off.

4:38 Female attraction is like a volume knob. So you have to turn it up and there's a lot of different varying degrees of, you know, a female being attracted to you. And, um, the reason for this is because men are primarily turned on by visual cues, right? It's like, Oh, that girl has a hot body or she's really beautiful or whatever it is. Right. It's, it's a visual cue and women obviously do that. You know, they, they're attracted to men that have a certain body, et cetera.

5:01 But primarily what women are attracted to is character cues or, uh, you know, personality cues. And that's so, you know, that's why, um, you know, one second she might be into you. And then a minute later she might be disgusted by you. It's because, you know, she's watching your behavior. And if you're exhibiting those signs of confidence, then she's going to become more attracted because that's a characteristic of your personality that is shining through your body language and your actions. Yeah, that's interesting. And, and also in this, in this vein of forced confidence, the natural confidence, another, another way you can test to see, you know, kind of where you are in the spectrum is when the voices in your head, that is to say the way you speak to yourself, when that has more bearing over how you feel than any of the outside voices of what everybody is telling you, then, you know, that's, that's real confidence.

5:55 That's natural confidence because it comes from within you. And a lot of people will say, well, how do I get that? How do I even start getting confidence to begin with? What I always tell my students is to start with how you talk to yourself. First of all, you should, any negative voices that you have, throw that shit out, like stop it immediately. I'm an idiot. Oh, I suck at this. Oh, my stomach is a little bit fat. Like stop that completely. Now, you can always try to improve yourself and it's, it's important to always try to improve yourself.

6:26 But as far as how you speak to yourself, it should be all positive. I'm talking 100%. Any negative shit whatsoever, throw it out. Now, again, you can be cognizant of the fact that you need to like, you know, get a better body. You need to get better with women, but you don't have to sit there insulting yourself about it. You don't have to sit there feeling bad about yourself about it. And it's really about internal dialogue. So all the time, I mean, I've got to the point where it's almost subconscious where like, I'm a champion.

6:55 I'm a girl magnet. I'm a money magnet. Oh, I got this. You got this, man. One more set. You can do this. And it's always, it's always positive. And after, after you've kind of faked it until you've made it, as it were, you're going to start doing that subconsciously to where this forced confidence of you having to tell yourself, I'm a champion, you're actually going to like, it's going to become part of your being and your subconscious metaprogram where you actually believe you are a champion.

7:22 If someone, if a girl said, dude, you're a loser, that would so not enter my reality whatsoever. It would be laughable. Like, and girls will do that. They'll be like, dude, you're this or that. And I'll just get this smirk on my face and just kind of chuckle at them. And I'm so strong in that reality. I believe so wholeheartedly that I'm a good person, that I have a lot of value to offer and that I'm a champion that no matter what anybody says, it doesn't matter to me because the internal voices, my metaprograms are significantly stronger than anything anybody can say outside of me.

7:56 Yeah. And I think that's kind of what it comes down to too, is, you know, real solid, unshakable confidence doesn't come from outside of you. It comes from within you because, you know, there's, there's so many people out there that they, uh, you know, if you think of like a trust fund baby, right? Like a spoiled, just spoiled rich kid who's never had to work for anything in his life. He probably seems pretty confident, right? But it's all situational, right? Like there's a lot of people out there that they're only confident because external factors like their, the amount of money in their bank account or the life that has been given to them from their parents or from people before them or, or whatever, you know, lucky things that have happened to them.

8:36 A lot of people are only confident because of these external things. And what's going to happen to a lot of these people is when the rug is ripped out from underneath them, things will get really, really ugly, really fast because that's when they realize they're not in control. And, you know, their whole reality just crumbles out from underneath them. Whereas, you know, like if I lost all of my money right now, if I, if I suddenly just, you know, lost all the muscle and strength that I've put on over the past 10 years, uh, if I, you know, if I lost everything, obviously I'd be upset, but deep down, I wouldn't know that I could still get it again because I've done it before.

9:14 And I think that that's one of the key things, uh, you know, when it comes to building confidence is literally just accomplishing your goals because when you set up a goal and you, you know, make a plan and you take action and you achieve it, you train yourself to understand and believe, but it's not even a belief. Like it's just the truth. You train yourself to believe that, you know, that's who you are. Like you can do it. Like you're the fucking man. And the more that you do this, the more that this belief becomes internalized.

9:40 So, you know, there's a lot of tricks and gimmicks that you can use to kind of get immediate boosts and confidence, right? So like the typical one is like stand up straight. Right. Stand up straight with your shoulders back, breathe deeply, or, you know, like, uh, things like that. Right. And that, that does work, of course. But if you want to make a real underlying fundamental change, you need to go deeper. You know, you need to really ask yourself, okay, like, how am I living the life that I want?

10:05 Right. Like, or maybe you're not right. So in which case you, you should ask, uh, what kind of life am I living? And is this the life that I want? Like, where do I want to be? Right. Real confidence comes from living with integrity, being okay with who you are, uh, you know, having shit thrown at you and not being bothered by it because you know, you're okay with who you are, right? Real confidence and a real fulfillment comes from accomplishing your goals through discipline. Yeah.

10:32 There's a saying, what is it? Confidence comes through competence. Yeah. So a lot of the times there's another saying that says you don't get the courage before you do something. Like, let's say you're going to jump off a bridge. You don't get, you don't get the courage before you do it. You actually get the courage after because you accomplish the goal. And then you're like, okay, now I have the courage to go ahead and jump off that bridge anytime I want to. Well, confidence can oftentimes work the same way where with women, especially, right?

11:01 A lot of guys aren't confident to speaking to women. Well, you get that confidence through making yourself speak to women. Now, initially you may get rejected, but that's okay. I mean, that's all part of the process. We're going to do a web, you know, a podcast on how to deal with rejection and some of the mentality surrounding that in the future. But when you initially start speaking to people and you have a couple of good interactions and you're like, Hey, you know, like I can actually speak to this person and kind of get them to laugh.

11:27 And then you build off of that. And that's how you build confidence is again, through competence. And you, you don't get the confidence first. You actually get it after you accomplish the goal. So getting out there and starting to do things is really important step as well to building the confidence. Yeah. This, uh, this reminds me of an article that I wrote on the three different types of confidence that people often mix up. And, uh, so basically there's core confidence, there's, uh, confidence, and then there's self-esteem.

11:55 And so people mix these things up all the time, right? But in self-development, it really matters to know what these things are because you're dealing with them on a day by day basis. So core confidence is what comes when you've accomplished a large number of goals and you start to internalize the belief that fundamentally you are equipped with the resources you need to do and get what you want in life. That's core confidence. That's what most people think of when they refer to comp confidence. Uh, and then there's confidence, which is area specific, right?

12:26 So like you were talking about Mark, um, you know, it's like if, if someone asked me right now to go, go upstairs and like fix, you know, a broken pipe or like do some plumbing thing in my bathroom, I wouldn't be confident in that. Cause I've never like, I don't know how to do that. I've never like fixed a pipe or something. Um, but if, if someone asked me, Hey man, can you go and bench 200 pounds? I'd be like, fuck yeah, I can. Like, it's just, it's like, you just, I I've done it.

12:52 Like I know I can do it. Um, a lot of the time, like you said, confidence comes from competence, like just, just knowing that you can do it. Right. Um, you know, so guys will ask like, Oh, like, why am I not confident with women? And I'm just like, because you've never fucking had any results with women. Like if you, if like, if you haven't done anything to take action in that regard, you're not going to be confident in that regard. It's like, if, if you asked me, you know, why am I not confident in my ability to like throw a baseball and you've never thrown a baseball?

13:22 It's like, why, like, why would you expect to be confident in that if you've never done it? So the solution to building confidence in whatever area you want is actually to just go out there and do it. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I mentioned this in another podcast, but obviously a lot of guys who listen to this want to get better with women. And that happens to be my specialty. And what I suggest is just to speak to everybody, to speak to the, the cashier at the supermarket or the chick at Starbucks or whoever it happens to be when you get talkative.

13:52 And again, when you realize like, Hey, you know what? I actually can have a good personality. I can crack people up. Then when that hot girl walks around the corner, not only are you warmed up, but you have belief in yourself that you can actually do it. So it's all about baby steps. You know, you don't want to just, just wait and study. A lot of guys will just get all this material and just study in their house and just lock themselves in their room. And then they're going to go out one night and they're going to go talk to girls that, that like stacks all the chips against you.

14:21 Because like John said, it's like going to try to fix that damn, that damn sink when you've never done it before, but you read a hundred books on how to do it. It doesn't make you able to do it just because you studied how to do it. You got to actually get out there and do it. And again, you can do this very safely with baby steps. And just speaking to people where it's society, societally acceptable for you to do so. Someone who's paid to help you, someone you're supposed to speak to.

14:45 Now, a lot of times it takes this, you got to like get yourself out of this funk to become talkative. Like me, I'm a very introverted person. I don't like to socialize with people, but I make myself do it. And once I get that momentum building, then it's fun and I start to get high off of it. But initially there's a lot of like, a lot of internal resistance to me speaking to people. And I just make myself, like when I go into the bars, I just open the first set I see and the next one, the next one, the next one.

15:15 And you start to get, you know, this momentum, you start to get in the flow and then shit just starts coming out of your mouth. That's hilarious. And you just start cracking people up and you get into this, this flow state. And when you've experienced that flow state enough times, I mean, it builds immense confidence, absolute immense confidence. But again, you got to jump off that bridge. You got to get yourself out the door and just start speaking to people because that's specifically in the realm of confidence to speak to women.

15:44 And while we're on the topic, just want to plug my, my book real quick, real quick. It's called a get the approach formula.com. It teaches you the step-by-step method to approach a woman, engage her in conversation and walk away with her phone number. And look, I was just stuttering. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes too. So it just goes to show that anybody can do it. Anybody can do it. I'm naturally introverted. I'm not a good public speaker, but because I've forced myself to do this, because I've forced myself to get better.

16:11 Now I can just go up to a girl and grab her phone number anytime I want to. And if you want to have that same ability to, again, I strongly suggest you take baby steps, go ahead and grab my program. It's, it's originally 32 bucks, but I'm selling it for 10 bucks to people who listen to this podcast. Again, it's get the approach formula.com. You can also click the link below and that's going to show you how to get to that point where you can speak to a woman with utmost confidence, because I'll tell you what, that first conversation is the most important part of the entire seduction process.

16:44 So, uh, that's my little plug on that. But again, I just cannot stress enough how important it is to actually get out there and freaking do it because no matter how many times you tell yourself I'm a champion, I'm a girl magnet, I get more ass than a toilet seat, whatever these affirmations are that you're telling yourself, they don't mean anything unless you get into the real world and actually practice. Cause that's where you're going to get the confidence. Yeah, I agree with that. Um, so like a lot of people, there's generally like, you know, a few different ways that people go.

17:12 And one of those ways is people say like, you know, like the law of attraction types, they'll just be like, Oh, like just, you know, just say these things. And like, you know, just it's cool, man. Like just, just be yourself. And like that, uh, and there's something to that. There's something to, I just say offer affirmations all the time. I, uh, you know, meditate, I do all sorts of, uh, subliminal messaging when I sleep and stuff like that. But ultimately you have to take action.

17:34 And, uh, what's funny is when you take action in conjunction with that stuff, it works so much better. I mean, um, you know, I've, uh, I've said this story a few times, but, uh, you know, I really do think that subliminal messaging works like really fucking well because there's this one, uh, you know, this one track that I listened to. And the first time I listened to it within, uh, I think it was like within a week and a half to two weeks of starting to listen to it.

17:59 I randomly ended up getting a bit like a brunch type thing with my, uh, my friend's stepdad and I convinced him to give me $20,000 to invest. Um, you know, so I really do think there is something to subliminal messages. You know, I feel way better, way more confident in my abilities to approach women and to attract women to, uh, you know, make more money to just go after what I want in life when I'm saying affirmations and, you know, doing these different things that I talk about in my, my, uh, mindset mastery ebook.

18:29 Um, so I think that also before we forget to, we should probably move on to the second step, which is, uh, letting go of the ego. And I'll let you kind of talk about that, Mark, cause this is kind of your specialty on your website. Absolutely. So real quick, John, was that on YouTube? That subliminal thing? And if so, do you remember what it was called? Yeah, I do. Um, cause I would like $20,000. It's yeah, it's by a Paul Santisi. Okay. Uh, it's, it's, uh, like an eight hour money subliminal type fucking thing, but I just listen to it when I sleep and it works pretty fucking well as far as I can tell.

19:02 So is it just repeating like eight hours? Like you will get $20,000. You will get $20,000. Uh, it's like, uh, it's actually like a million different affirmations like about like, like, I don't know, like, uh, you know, money loves me. Like I, I make all kinds of money, like whatever the fuck, but, uh, I highly recommend it. His name, I think his name is Paul Santisi. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have you send that to me after the podcast. I want to try that. But it, but it goes to show, you know, um, the way you think and the mindset and particularly around money and women, your mindset is so important.

19:34 So, you know, start trying to think of yourself as a girl magnet. And, and again, it's saying it to yourself will help, but the most important thing is getting out there and executing, but start really monitoring your inner thoughts because that's where it all begins. And I'll tell you, it's extremely powerful. I mean, we're going to get into this in the future, but I was at a point where I had so much anxiety. I could hardly go outside. Um, I couldn't speak to people. I would have panic attacks and, you know, now I'm at the point where obviously, you know, I pull girls.

20:04 I, I, I can public speak in front of X many thousand people and it just, it just all is because of the internal work I've done. And I also do one-on-one coaching, by the way, I'm not going to plug it too much, but you can just click in the link below to check that out, uh, where I help you do the same thing because I've been there and I know it works. So, uh, moving on to step two, John, it is the letting go of ego.

20:26 That's the second stage. And what this is, is it's really how your confidence and how your life pertains to others. So ego is all about being better than other people, uh, you know, being better looking, being better with girls, having more money and comparing yourself to others. So let me ask you this, this is a kind of a little, uh, thought experiment you can do. Imagine talking to somebody and you know, when they start like educating you on something you already know a lot about, it's like me meeting John for the first time.

20:57 And I'm like, yeah, you know, um, so when you lift weights, John, what you should do is you should do this, this, and this, and little do I know that this guy's a fitness model and he has an entire program called the body of an alpha, uh, which you can find on his website that, that basically talks about all this stuff. Now, if John had a big ego, he would be, Oh yeah, I know, dude. I know that actually, honestly, bro. Like you didn't know, but I I'm actually a fitness model and I have a product.

21:23 So take it easy on the old educating there because I know what I'm doing, but let's see if John could just shut up and let him talk. It's really difficult to do this. And that's a good test to see how much ego you have invested in a conversation. When someone starts trying to educate you on something, you know, a lot about, can you just shut up and let them talk and pretend that you're just listening to them, even though you probably know more than they do, it's a testament to how much ego you have when you have to always be right.

21:52 And like one up people and always be the correct one and show everybody, you know, what you know. And that goes into confidence because again, when you have true lasting confidence, you don't like compare yourself to other people. You don't have to frame check everybody and, and one up everybody and be the big ego guy above everybody else because you're not dependent on outside opinions of you to dictate how you feel about yourself. Definitely. Yeah. I mean, I like that test too. Um, cause there have been times when, you know, I, uh, like when I get really obsessed over something, I just research it so much.

22:28 And, uh, one of the things that I've been, uh, you know, encountering lately is, uh, you know, so obviously I'm, I've been investing in cryptocurrencies in the stock market for five years. I have like a million times the annual return that, uh, a wall street stock investor has. Um, I just got out of a trade recently and I made like 50% in, I think like a week and a half. Um, you know, so people like that don't know anything about Bitcoin, they'll try to talk to me and be like, Oh yeah, Bitcoin, that's the thing that crashed.

22:58 Right. And, and I know that they're, they're going off of like, you know, their fucking, uh, you know, two article knowledge by CNBC of like some news report they saw. And, you know, it's really tempting for me to, to talk to them and try to educate them, uh, which is partially ego, but partially probably just like wanting to help them and educate them. But that's a, that's a, you know, a good test because I do feel myself, feel myself wanting to be like, you know, like, yeah, like it did.

23:25 But I mean, it's, there's so much more to it than that. And you can still make money when it goes down and, you know, it's going to be a 250,000 at least within the next couple of years. Like there's so much more to it. Um, you know, but that, I really liked that test mark. Cause, uh, I do feel that sometimes, you know, and I think a lot of people, I think that's, there's something that's important to say to you. So like with these five stages of, uh, self-confidence, like you, it's not like you're going to like make it to, to step number four or whatever.

23:55 And then you're always in that step. Like you're still going to feel yourself sometimes like regress back and not feel very confident. It's, it's more just about like, where are you generally at? Like most of the time, you know? Yeah. So regarding the letting go of ego. And I like that too, because man, I, I do it bad. I mean, I am a terrible, you know, example of this because if somebody were to tell me about how, how many girls they pull and try to give me some information, you know, bro, I hear it's good if you, if you go up and say, uh, say, you know, Hey, you look like trouble.

24:28 Have you ever tried that before? You should try that, bro. You should try that. You know, you know, I've slept with seven girls. Maybe you should take the hand, Mark. The other day, this guy, this guy I met was telling me how he's, he always, um, what is it? Has the girl take his number? And he's like, yeah, just, you know, cause you gotta have him chase you, bro. That's what you need to. And he was very like, like trying to like pat me on the shoulder and tell me how it is.

24:54 And I, and I, I was like, Hey, Mark, this is a test. Just shut up and let him talk. But for you guys who are trying to learn how to get girls, should you, should you give your number to her and expect her to call you? Fuck no. Fuck no. Because the girl wants you to take that role. You're the man. You're, they want you to call them first. Girls don't like to text guys first. They just don't like to do it. She's probably so scatterbrained and got so much other shit going on.

25:19 Cause she has a ton of other guys trying to fuck her. She's just not going to text you. She's not going to text you. So I was just like, okay, shut up. Let him talk. But it's hard. It's one of the hardest things you can do. And like John said, you know, while, while we feel like we're much more evolved than we were previously with our confidence, we still, you know, we're not perfect. We still slip back into these things. And I mean, today I flipped somebody off while I was driving and like, I've tried so hard not to do that.

25:45 I've tried so hard not to. I'm like, relax, bro. Just control it. Don't let them get into your reality. And like this guy like cut me off and I was like, fuck you. And I was like, damn it. You know, I failed that test, but that's life, man. You know, you're never going to be perfect. You're going to fail the test. And as long as you learn from it, and as long as you try to get better next time, then that's the real purpose. But one thing I wanted to say is with the letting go of ego, arrogance needs to prove itself.

26:11 So you get an arrogant person. The difference between self-esteem and arrogance is arrogance is constantly trying to prove itself and try to prove its superiority, whereas self-esteem has nothing to prove. It's like, eh, whatever. So it comes from within and being better than others is no longer the benchmark with which you measure yourself. I want to say that again. Being better than others is no longer the benchmark with which you measure yourself. And that's the real point of number two, the letting go of ego. Once again, everything inside of you is stronger than anything that's happening outside, then it's like you've mastered your life.

26:52 And it's hard to get to, you know? I mean, we're not there yet, but it's a lifelong journey. It's a lifelong struggle. And as long as you know that in your head, you really make tremendous strides forward. Yeah. Miyamoto Musashi had a great quote that I used to have it on a mug, but the mug broke when I was moving. It says, today is victory over your lesser self. Tomorrow is victory over lesser foe. And I just thought that that was very interesting because, you know, you do have to start looking at yourself, right?

27:26 Don't compare yourself to others, right? Because that's just stupid. I mean, there's so many different variables that you can't account for and that, you know, some people might have started off in a different place than you. Like, look at yourself. Just, like, ask yourself if you're doing better than the yourself of yesterday. Right. And it's funny, as you were saying that, Mark, like a funny story came to mind randomly. I was with a couple of friends, like, about a year ago, probably. And we were getting a drink.

27:52 And this guy kind of came along with, like, he brought, like, a girl he was on a date with or something, like a double date type thing. And I remember, like, he did something really fucking dumb. And I was just, like, trying not to comment. And, you know, I was, like, just kind of, like, sitting there kind of looking at him. And he was like, trust me, bro. And he said, like, some, like, you know, quote, unquote, some secret to get good with girls. And he was like, and then he finished that off by saying, like, trust me, bro.

28:15 I've slept with 13 girls before. And I was just, like, in my head, I didn't say anything. But I was just like, dude, like, I really want to fucking say something. I want to, like, tell you, like, no, like, that's not what you do. And 13 is not impressive. And if you think that, fuck you. But, you know, I just didn't say anything. But, yeah, it's, like, that kind of thing where it's, like, you feel like you need to be the expert. Like, you just got to let that go, you know.

28:40 And funny enough, too, like, people that are evolved enough, like, they'll – I guarantee you, some of the girls, when they heard him say that, were probably looking at my face when I was looking at him. And they knew, like, okay, John knows what's up. You can see. Like, I know if I was, you know, out with you, Mark, and some guy tried to do that shit to you, I would, like, you know, I'd see your face. And I'd just be, like, ha-ha, like, yeah, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about, Mark, is, like, the real fucking deal.

29:06 So that's another thing, too, is as you become more evolved and let go of your ego, other people will notice that you've let go of your ego because they've done the same. Notice when somebody is really good at something, they never talk about it. They hardly ever talk about it, and they have nothing to prove. Like, some of the best people out there, it's, like, you don't even know that they're that good because they're so good at it. They're so confident within themselves, they don't even need to talk about it at all.

29:30 They have nothing to prove. Yeah, exactly. All right, so should we bust out to number three now? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, cool. So, number three is complete acceptance of who you are. Now, this one, particularly for me, I'm still struggling with this. I'm going to be 100% honest, 100% genuine. There are certain things about myself that I have not been able to accept, particularly about my looks, and I think that's the hardest thing for most guys. So, I used to have the problem, and actually in this article I'm reading it, where I had belly fat, and I would suck in my belly fat because I didn't want girls to see it.

30:11 And since taking John's course, Body of an Alpha, fortunately, that's no longer an issue. So, but now I'm a little bit still insecure about my nose because I kind of have a Roman nose where there's like a ridge on the top, and sometimes I won't want girls to see my profile. Now, everybody has something like this. Like you'll look at guys at the club who are a little bit overweight, and you'll see them like pulling out their shirt, or you'll see people trying to deflect a certain quality about themselves that you know they're insecure about, but they're trying not to let women see it.

30:42 Now, women are extremely perceptive, and they pick up on this because all these little subtle insecure mannerisms are reflected in your body language in such subtle ways that I can't even explain it to you right now over this podcast. Women are programmed to even just the way your eyes move, to the way your hands move, to these subtle, super subtle things. They're unconsciously programmed to be able to pick up on how confident you are and how insecure you are just based on your mannerisms. So, we all have things about us that we don't like except for John Anthony.

31:14 He completely 100% accepts himself how he is. But for the rest of us mortal human beings, we have stuff about ourselves that we don't like. So, the thing to do is when you've reached a certain level of confidence, you have to have uncompromising acceptance of it. Now, again, you can try to get better like I did. I had the belly fat, and I had the weak man's diet. I was being a pussy. So, I controlled my diet. I got discipline in my life, and I got ripped.

31:40 Now, I'm happy to report that I have a four and a half pack. So, but when you have certain things about yourself that you cannot change, a receding hairline like me, a big nose. Maybe you have like a – you don't have a good jawline or you have like a turkey goblet underneath your chin or whatever. You have skinny wrists like I do. I have really skinny wrists because I have an ectomorph body. When you accept those things, 100% acceptance, it becomes a non-issue to women. They don't even fucking notice it.

32:11 And in fact, what's really interesting is if you're kind of not good looking, you don't really have a lot of good things going for you. But you have this confidence about you, and you've completely accepted yourself how you are, that's actually more attractive than a really good looking guy who has all these great things about him, and he's the same level of confidence. So, when you can have extreme confidence despite any of the flaws that you might have about your body, your looks, or even your personality, that is extremely, extremely attractive to women because what does it communicate?

32:43 It communicates that this guy is succeeding in life. This guy is confident enough to be himself despite all this whole list of things that he should be, again, in quotes, should be insecure about, but he's not. So, what does this guy have? Women will get immediately attracted to you, and that's why, by the way, you oftentimes see really hot girls making out with like super fucking ugly dudes, like short, fat, bald dude who's just pulling this solid nine because, bro, he's completely accepting himself for who he is.

33:16 Dude, you know what? You know what? I'm fat and bald. Fuck it. Dude, I'm a champion. I accept it. And then he goes up. He's like, hey, who are you? And he just has this like these mannerisms about his eyes and everything about him, and the girl is just boom, immediately attracted to him because, again, it's uncompromising acceptance of who you are. Yeah, and that kind of ties along with just like ego death. So, like here's a fun exercise I like to try when I'm out sometimes is whatever you're feeling in fields, to use nerd PUA talk, like whatever you're feeling when you're out at a club or whatever, try to fully embody it, right?

33:56 So if you're like nervous or like a little bit socially anxious, not really warmed up yet, don't have any social momentum, just fully embody it. And, you know, what's funny is like when you do this and you just try to fully accept what you're feeling and not resist it, you'll actually find that like a lot of really crazy shit happens and like the women around you pick up on it. And so I remember one time I was at this party with a few friends and I was just not in a good mood for whatever reason.

34:22 I can't remember what it was, but I was just not having it. Like the girls we went with, I just didn't like them that much. And so I was just kind of like sitting there like very bored and like not amused and I swear to God, this girl, this beautiful, I think she was like Korean, Vietnamese, like this beautiful Asian girl came up to me out of nowhere and she was just like, do you want to get married? And I actually thought she was asking like if I plan on getting married in the future.

34:48 So I was like, nah, I don't want to get fucking married. Like that's stupid. It's a horrible deal for men. And she was like, oh, because I want to marry you. And like no bullshit. And I was just like, like at the time, I mean, that kind of thing had happened to me before because I just know that like when you're really confident and just like even if you're not in a good mood, if you're just confident in the mood that you're in, girls will notice.

35:08 And, you know, it's kind of weird, but like that kind of thing happens. Like it happens a lot when you just fully embody even like a negative emotion. Like people don't understand that, uh, it's better to be genuine and depressed than fake and confident, like in terms of attracting women. Like, um, there, uh, I had this, this friend who, uh, who was really fucking depressed and had like a bunch of mood issues and he would always pull girls by just being this like really sad motherfucker.

35:38 So he'd just like be in the club and he'd be like, Hey, just like, just like, like he's like on the verge of killing himself. And then some girl will be like, Oh my God. Hey, like, are you okay? And he's like, I just hate this place so much. I just want to get out of here. And then she's like, Oh my God, no. And just like, they, they just get glued, like sucked into his reality, you know? Cause it's like, again, like we were talking about in our last podcast without frame control.

36:01 It's like when his frame, his reality is just so much stronger. It's like, it just sucks girls into it. And, um, you know, that applies to everyone. Like when you just accept the emotions that you're feeling, whatever they are, whether they're anxiety or, you know, tension or depression or happiness or whatever, if you just accept them, you'll find that like, like magic, like there'll just be a moment where it'll all click. And then girls will just like literally seek you out. Like it's the trippiest thing.

36:31 Yeah. And, and that, that's a meditation concept that we're going to speak about when we speak about anxiety. But there's a, there's a really wise quote that says what you resist persists and what you look at disappears. So when John is saying you, you embody it fully, what are you saying is you put your attention on it. So let's say you're feeling shitty, which, which I often will when I go to the clubs, because again, I'm an introvert and it takes a whole hell of a lot of energy for me to, you know, get that charismatic, uh, guy that, you know, going that I really am effective with, with women.

37:04 And, and what you do is you actually just look at the emotion and you just focus on it. And let's say it's kind of in your belly or in your chest and it's, it's an actual feeling of kind of tension and darkness, we'll just watch it. And when I say watch it, I don't mean look at it with your eyes. I'm saying, feel it completely and sit there with it and watch it. And what's interesting is it starts to dissipate. It starts to release because what you look at disappears, what you put your conscious attention on will start to dissipate and release.

37:34 And that's actually the way I got rid of my anxiety. That's solely how I did it is I would sit down every day for about an hour and I would just watch it. I'll just sit there with it. And you got to have to be friendly towards it. Like, Hey, I know you're here. I'm not being violent towards you. Actually, you're welcome to be here. I'm just going to kind of watch you. And, and what happens is, is your attention is like a light, a beam of light shining onto darkness.

37:57 And when you shine light onto darkness, what does the darkness become? It too becomes light and your attention is a high vibrating frequency. We're getting a little bit into, you know, airy fairy stuff here, but it's scientifically proven that your attention is high vibrating frequency, fears, bad mood, anger. That's a low vibrating frequency. So when you shine your attention on it, it too becomes higher vibrating frequency. And then you can get out of it in that way. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, um, I like that quote.

38:28 That's a great quote that, uh, whatever you resist persists. And, um, another good quote that, that comes to mind is awareness alone is curative. And, um, I actually got that from a self-development channel that I like, uh, called actualized.org. Shout out to Leo. And, um, you know, it's just whenever you focus on something and you just become aware of it, it begins to resolve itself. Right. So like if you take, uh, I don't know, like, you know, some guy who's like really fat or something, right?

38:58 Like how does, how does somebody stay fat? Well, I'll tell you how they proactively ignore all the warning signs and don't put their attention on them. Right. So they ignore the fact that they're getting fatter and fatter. They ignore the fact that they have less and less energy. They ignore the fact that their health is deteriorating. Right. But if they just actively put their consciousness on it and just sat there and meditated and realized like, you know, huh, I'm getting pretty fucking fat and I feel horrible like that enough of that awareness and you can't not lose weight.

39:31 Like if you have enough of that awareness on a problem, you're going to fix it because you're aware of the problem and you're aware of how it's negatively affecting you and you're aware that it's fucking you up, you know? So literally just putting awareness on anything that you don't like, um, is, is curative. And, and before we go on to number four, I'd like to just, uh, uh, say something about acceptance. So what's funny is a lot of the time guys, myself included, try to, uh, say like, okay, you know, I'll be confident once I hit the, the seven figure mark, I'll be confident once I have this many women that I've slept with, I'll be confident once, once I'm this or that.

40:06 And, um, like, believe me, take it, take it from the horse's mouth that that shit doesn't work because all that's going to happen is you're going to get there and you're still not going to be fucking confident because the entire time what you're doing is you're training your brains, uh, your neurology to literally not be satisfied. You know, um, I remember there's been so many days, but one day in particular, it comes to mind where, uh, I, I was 21 at the time, I think. And, um, I had just finished launching body of an alpha and I made like, I think like a couple thousand dollars, uh, or near there, uh, in a single day, which was more than I'd ever made before in probably like a month.

40:42 And I was like, holy shit, I've made it. And, um, I still couldn't kick the feeling that I was like anxious and like not okay with myself. And I remember sitting there at, uh, uh, this bar in my town with my friends and they were just having fun and socializing and I just couldn't help. But like, I like, I need to check my phone. Like something's not all right. Like I need to see, like, have I made another sale yet? Like, and you'll just never be satisfied.

41:04 Like even, even nowadays with, uh, you know, some of the beta launches that we've done for some of our recent products, Mark, like, you know, I'll, I'll get a bump for a, you know, a week or so. Cause I just made a bunch of money, but then you just, ultimately you go back to your baseline level of happiness. And so what you have to do is you literally just have to accept yourself, everything, even the things that you hate, because if you don't, like, it doesn't matter how high on the mountain you climb, you're still going to hate yourself unless you accept it.

41:32 Right, right. That's, that's exactly right. And, um, one quick point before we do move on, John is, um, there are neuropathic pathways in your brain that get used to feeling a certain way. There's basically synapses. So if you're constantly kind of feeling shitty or you're constantly saying bad things about yourself, those are synapses that, that travel down pathways. And what happens is that pathway gets really cleared out. So in a way it kind of feels good to feel shitty. And that's why you get a lot of people like on Facebook.

41:59 I mean, every single person who, who's listening to this right now can relate to this. You get all these people who are just like complaining and talking shit. It's because it feels good in a weird way, because that's the way their brain is programmed. That's the way their, their neurology is actually set up. Like think about the brain and all those different synapses going off. And it's like a big tree and like vein, like nerves everywhere. Um, the way it's set up is to feel negative and to feel bad.

42:25 But what's interesting is when you do start thinking positive thoughts and thinking confident thoughts, what happens is they actually start to shift and there, there's a physically a change that goes on in your brain when you start to change the way you think. Now, those old pathways are still cleared out. So you're still going to kind of get some of those things that come into your mind where it's like, I'm an idiot or I'm bad with girls. But once you start shifting it, what happens is those neural pathways actually kind of start bending and they go over to this new path.

42:57 And then you start thinking that way. And then that path gets cleared out so that you eventually get to the point where I dare say John and I are at where it's actually difficult to have a negative thought. And it actually feels good. It feels like there's momentum to have these positive thoughts. And it's simply because we've literally rewired our brains so that these pathways are easy to travel down. So we get a little kick every time we say something good, like I am a champion, which by the way, I say to myself all the time, it's, it's almost disgusting, but you know what?

43:27 That's okay. It's okay. As long as, you know, I'm not trying to prove it to other people. You could talk to yourself however the fuck you want, dude. And if I have to tell myself I'm a champion 5,000 times a day, I'm a champion. I'm a money magnet, whatever I'm going for. Fine, fine. So be it. As long as I don't have to prove it to everybody, which I don't feel like I do, dude, talk to yourself all day long and just embed those things that you want to be.

43:52 Tell yourself you already are it because I'll tell you that changes first and then your outside reality changes next. Change the inside and the outside will come to reflect it. That's so true. I mean, honestly, like this, all of self-development can be summarized in that sentence that your external reality is created by your internal reality. And this is something that I think I just learn more and more as I progress in life. It's just like anytime there's a situation outside of you, it's almost always brought about from some sort of an internal thing that's going on, right?

44:29 So like the Buddha said that all that we are is thought, you know, because everything that we think eventually becomes reality. I'm laughing, John, because right as you were talking before you said that, I turned around and I have a poster on the wall that has Buddha and it says that exact quote. It's a great quote, man. Yeah, it is. It's just, it's funny to me because, um, a little, a little side note, I was talking to John the other day and I was telling him about how I got my new tattoo and I was definitely afraid of needles.

45:00 And through working with an NLP coach and neuro-linguistic programming, I was able to overcome my fear of needles and I got a nine hour tattoo for my first tattoos, this big piece on my arm. And, um, I was talking to John about how important it is to, to follow your fear, to go into your fear, that your fear should be a guiding light for the next move to make. And I've been following that principle for the last two years. Then John's like, hold on a second, takes a shot of his tattoo, sends it to me.

45:26 And what does it say? Follow your fear. And I was like, Jesus Christ, man. Like when you meet somebody that you just like, you connect to, it just, it happens. And again, that's, that's internal, internal thoughts get reflected by external reality. John and I were, were, I dare say, I don't want to say meant to come together, but we attracted each other because we have, we're on the same wavelength. So we're putting out that same energy and it's like two magnets connecting. And now we're homies and we've only just met, I think it's been like a year or something, but it just goes to show that when you have, you know, these thoughts inside of you.

46:01 And when you, you think certain things, not only are you going to affect your direct reality outside yourself, but you're also going to attract people into your life that are on that same wavelength. And if you want hot girls, if you want high quality girls, you got to start changing what's going on in your mind because you don't want to attract a piece of shit. Who's insecure and unconfident and a bitch. You want to attract a go-getter, a girl who's getting after it, a girl who's hot, but also has a great personality and can make you laugh.

46:28 I mean, and that all starts within. So a little bit of a caveat, but I thought it was a great time to tell you guys about it because it was really interesting. Yeah, no, absolutely, man. I mean, it's funny how when you do put yourself out there and just like, just really, like really, it sounds so weird because like in some ways I don't think the universe really gives a fuck about us because like, you know, millions of species have gone extinct before and there's like tsunamis and shit that, you know, just wipe out humans.

46:55 But like, at the same time though, it does feel in a lot of ways, like when you really do like put yourself out there on that fine line of just like trying to walk down your purpose and like becoming hard set on accomplishing something. It is incredible how like, how synchronicity kicks in and like all these serendipitous events like me meeting you and like, like all these different things just start to like happen and fall into place, you know? So once you do like go down this path, guys, it really is crazy how much will, how much of your external reality will transform to match your internal reality.

47:28 Yeah. And I mean, uh, not to get too, too esoteric on it, but I believe God is the observer. I don't think he, he consciously, he or she, whatever the fuck you want to call it, consciously makes moves for or against us, but he's the observer. And we are in fact creating our reality through again, our thoughts and our actions. So synchronicity happens because of what you think, not necessarily because some benevolent being is saying, Oh, I'm going to put you guys together. It's just, boom, you get on the same wavelength as somebody, you get on the same thought patterns as somebody and they start attracting into your life.

48:01 Like craziness, man. It's all, it's a big field, you know, we're all interconnected and attracting and, you know, it, again, it gets into mythology and, and all this esoteric BS, but that's what I believe, man. And, and that's what I've seen in my life. So that's why I believe it. I mean, the evidence has proven true. Absolutely. I mean, there's, um, a great book. So the first video I actually ever did on this channel was on the eight circuits of consciousness and, uh, it's, it's a long psychological book.

48:29 That's really fucking cool. And it's, it's changed my life a lot. But, um, one of the things that he talks about in that book, uh, Dr. Wilson is, uh, synchronicity and what causes it. Um, and I found that like, whenever I'm on the right path, I'm supposed to be in life emotionally, right? So like my heart just resonates with what I'm doing and I really am passionate about it. And, and I can just feel like deep within my bones that what I'm doing is, is right.

48:54 And there's, there's some, something to this path that I'm on. I always get this weird sync synchronous events. Um, and there's theories for that, you know, like, like you were talking about the, the synchronicity is like, it's what you think. And I mean, one theory is that, uh, the right, it's the right side of your brain that's communicating with the left side of your brain. So like the left side of your brain lays out the model or the framework and it observes the things that are happening.

49:17 And the right side adds the meaning to it. Like there's, there's these weird theories, but, um, just, uh, I thought of that. And one thing that's kind of interesting is like, whenever I'm on the right path in life, it's, it's really weird. And I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or not, but, uh, every time I look at the clock, it's like, you notice that when it's like, it's like one 11 or like two 22, three 33, or I'll wake up in the middle of the night and it'll be like four 44 and it's like every day.

49:44 And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? Like, am I going crazy? And, uh, I've noticed that in the times in my life when I'm genuinely on my path, like I always fucking do that. And I don't know why, but yeah, it's just, it's an interesting thing that happens. I'm laughing. I'm actually going to have my girlfriend listen to this cause she's going to crack up, but I always see 11, 11. Yeah. And I, it's weird, bro. Like, I swear to God, I mean, okay. The you, okay.

50:07 So it could be said that what's that thing called where you're tracking bias. Yeah. Confirmation bias. And then there's the like NSP or something it's called in your brain. I've heard of NSP, like the, the, or ESP, like the sixth sense type thing. No, you've said it before. It's not that, but basically you're looking for it. So out of the corner of your eye, you're observing a bunch of shit. So if 11, 11 comes over subconsciously, you're like, Oh, and you look at it and you say, Oh, it's 11, 11.

50:34 And so there can be things said about that where, you know, you have these spiritual people that are like, Oh, and the clock says 11, 11, it means you're on path and it means you're in synchronicity. But you know, I kind of believe it's true to a certain extent. Cause when I have really good meditation sessions the whole day, bro, just like you, it's like 11, 11, two 22, three 33. And I literally will look at the clock five times that day and each fricking time it'll be numbers lining up like that.

51:00 Yeah. Or what are the odds that like, I don't know, I don't know because are we, are we observing our entire environment and then we just notice what we're programmed to notice for. So if I'm expecting to see 11, 11, I'll see it. Just like if you're, if you're about to buy a new car, suddenly you start seeing that car everywhere because you're, you're, you're programmed in to look for that car. Oh, RAS activation system. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so I don't know, I don't know, but, but part of me kind of thinks, kind of thinks that it is spiritual and it is, I don't know, spirit talking to you saying, Hey bro, you're on the right track.

51:35 And I just noticed when I have really good meditation sessions, it'll be like, like, holy shit. Like, yeah, I was driving my car the other day and it's like six, six, six, six, six miles. Right. And I was like, what the fuck are the chances of me seeing that? So I don't know. Kind of, that's, um, for anyone that's interested in that, that wants to look more into it, there's, the first video on this channel. It's, uh, circuit number six, I think, where they talk about, uh, the holistic neurogenetic circuit, I think, where it's like, it deals with, uh, your brain's connection to your body and how DNA within your body communicates amongst itself.

52:09 And, uh, and one strand of DNA is really like, uh, a code, not only for a human being, but it contains the entire code of life itself. And there's, there's really crazy trippy shit that we could talk about right now, but, uh, we're, we're approaching like an hour, aren't we? We should probably, we should probably get onto the fourth one. So the fourth one is a non-judgment of others. And when you get, when you get into this game, it's so easy to see the ego and the insecurities of other people.

52:36 And it's really easy to judge them and make fun of them to make yourself feel above them. But when you start to accept yourself, you start to accept others as well. And when you truly accept yourself, you can actually have compassion for others. And by the way, guys, compassion means putting yourself in someone else's shoes. You realize that everyone is suffering to some extent because there's desires and aversions and you actually feel for them. It's like, you recognize the spirit in them that just like you want certain things and just like you is suffering to an extent because we're lost in those things that we think are going to bring us happiness.

53:10 And one of those things is judging other people for some weird reason. It feels good to be like, Oh, like, look at this guy. He's all arrogant because he's getting into game, but he hasn't evolved from forced confidence into true confidence. But when you really get confidence, you accept people fully for who they are because you know that they're on their journey, they are who they are, and they're going to get there eventually. And again, you have compassion for that person because you know that person is suffering.

53:38 Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's kind of a paradox too because I find myself sometimes jumping between like this hyper judgmental, like, you know, like when I'm, I don't know, I think that there's certain states that you get into in your life just, you know, when you're depending on your goal, right? So like when I get into the state sometimes where I'm very goal oriented and I just always want to get shit done. Right. And I almost become like a fucking caricature because I'm just this like Alexander the Great esque, like Napoleon Bonaparte, like, like anyone who doesn't accomplish their goals is a fucking pussy.

54:14 Like kind of, kind of mentality just like when I'm, when I'm in the zone and, um, you know, but then I come out of that and I'm like, you know, more level headed. And I do see that, that, uh, nonjudgment of others. Cause it's like, you just kind of reach this point where you love everyone for who they are because you realize that, uh, this doesn't excuse people's behavior, so to speak, but it's like people make the best decision that they can with the information that they have and the resources available to them at the time.

54:42 So it's like you can get mad and resist it and be like, Oh, he shouldn't like that. That's, that's, that's one keyword that, uh, that, uh, will, if you look out for this in your vocabulary, you'll notice that people that are judgmental use it a lot. The words should and shouldn't. Right. And in a lot of ways they're, they're accurate in some sense, but I think that they're, they're, uh, only a part of the truth. Right. Because like when, when I say, you know, you should work out, okay, well, so there's no real moral obligation to work out, right?

55:14 Because the word should implies a moral obligation. What I mean when I say you should work out is if you want to live a healthy, fulfilling lifestyle and get all of these amazing benefits, like being able to fuck girls better, being more attractive, feeling happier, having more energy, not dying when you're 53 of, of diabetes. Then in that case, if you want those results, the optimal way to attain them would be to work out. Right. But, but that's so long to say out that, you know, people just say you should do this or you should do that.

55:43 Um, and it definitely does come across as judgmental, but it's, it's a little bit of paradox because I mean, in some sense you do have to discern, you have to, you know, say, okay, you know, this, this person's behavior is going to lead to this type of result. And I don't want that in my life. So I'm going to cut them out. Right. You have to be discerning, but nonjudgmental. Yep. And you know, douches, haters, complainers, all these people, they're really doing the best they can.

56:07 And they're, they're, they're acting with what they think is going to bring them happiness. That's, that's the crazy thing. Like even haters have a subconscious belief that their hatred will eventually cause the result they're looking for. And in turn, bring them happiness. But it's kind of like when you look and this isn't condescending, this is just an example. But when you look at a child playing with a toy, you don't judge that child because he's an idiot to play with a Tonka truck. You just know that he's at his level of consciousness to enjoy playing with the Tonka truck.

56:37 So when you see an idiot on the road, and again, I failed on this today because I flipped somebody off. But when I saw that hater cut me off, you know, if I was in, if I was where I should have been again, I'm shitting all over myself, but it were, if I was where I should have been, I would have been like, Hey, maybe he's late for something. Maybe he's pissed off. And a lot of times, um, if people are hating you, take it as a compliment because a lot of people hate on you because you're a champion and you're getting after it in life.

57:03 Dude, I get so many haters at the bar. It's unbelievable. Guys just hating on me, wanting to fight me because I'm pulling girls. And it's, it's like, bro, like your hatred, I take it as a compliment and you have your situation and I have compassion for you because obviously you're hurting a lot. You have a lot of pain in your life. And I don't say that judgmentally or to try to get at him when I can say that and really feel it in my, inside myself that, Hey man, like if he says, fuck you bitch.

57:31 And I'm like, I really feel myself compassion for him. That's like some high level shit because I'm seeing in him that he's suffering and my soul recognizes his soul. He's just trying to get somewhere, man. He's trying to get laid. He's trying to get girls. This guy hasn't gotten laid in three months, dude. His fucking balls are so blue. He's like, God damn ice cubes. You need to get your course, dude. Yeah, dude. Exactly. So it's like, Hey bro, like I feel for you, man. Do you want some help?

57:58 Like, you know, we can do training if you'd like. And it, once you can get to that point, I mean, I feel like that's really high. That's like Buddha level, like Jesus Christ level shit where, where somebody attacks you and you actually feel compassion for them. So yeah, yeah, that's the ultimate level, dude. And, um, going back to that kind of esoteric idea of, uh, different levels of consciousness and like high vibration frequencies and stuff. Uh, I do definitely believe that like a lot of these prophets and Messiahs that have, have changed the world, uh, were enlightened in the sense that they just had absolutely no judgment of others because they understood, you know, and, um, there's definitely problems in terms of like integrating the practicality of that mindset into your life.

58:43 Cause it's like, you know, okay. So if someone, I mean, we're seeing this right now on a, on a national level with a lot of the politics that we're, we're dealing with, you know, it's like, okay. So if something, you know, if someone's trying to, to fuck our country over, it's like, do, do we understand? Like, I would say that we should try to understand them and be compassionate, but still take recourse. But it's like, people can't do that. They either become these like snowflakes that are over compassionate and just don't want any discipline or borders or boundaries to like set up, you know, and prevent people from doing things they shouldn't, or they, they're just become like super judgmental and they're like, fuck this guy.

59:20 He's an asshole. He needs to pay for it. And it's like, there's no, there's no beautiful middle ground, which is like this, this number four. It's just like, you know, if someone attacks you, don't, you know, don't lose. Let them attack you and just be a pussy and be like, Oh, he's just doing what he thinks. And, and, you know, meanwhile, he's chopping your arm off, but don't, but don't like, you know, someone throws a punch and you split them in the fucking throat. Like you've, you've got to find a middle ground where it's like, you just, you know, understand what they're doing.

59:49 Don't be okay with it. Stand up for yourself, but like still treat them with compassion. Yeah. It's that, it's that balance, man. And life is all about balance. And I think, I think you touched on it perfectly that, um, all attack is a cry for help. All attack is a cry for help, but don't be a little bitch snowflake and just take it. Like, I don't necessarily agree with turning the other cheek. I agree with throwing some elbows. Like if a girl, if, if, if somebody spit in my girlfriend's face, like they're getting fucking pummeled, you know what I'm saying?

1:00:17 So there's a balance there, but if they, if they flip me off, what, what harm is that? Like, Oh bro, you're suffering. I'm not going to let you get into my reality. I'm not going to let you drag me down because I'm happy and I'm, you know, I'm having a great day. So again, there's a balance in that, but I really like that all attack is a cry for help. And what's interesting too, when out the bars and you see guys fighting, when people get really mad, it's almost like they're crying.

1:00:44 You look at their face, like a really angry face and fuck, it's, it's almost like they're crying. And, and really the emotion of anger is sadness and fear. Fear is the base of all negative emotions. So again, it's that compassion, like, bro, like how much pain do you have in your life that you get pissed off because some guy checked out your girl? When a guy checks out my girlfriend, I take it as a compliment, man. I really do. I ask my girlfriend all the time.

1:01:10 So how many guys like, like checked you out when we were out there? And she's like, Oh, you know, la, la, la. I'm like, yeah. She's like, you're so weird. Why do you take the, why do you like that so much? I'm like, cause it's a compliment. You're my girl. I don't get offended when a dude checks you out because I'm confident enough to know that no guy is going to yank you from me. So I don't give a bucket to check you out. Absolutely. Yeah.

1:01:32 I like, I like what you said about, um, you don't believe in turning the other cheek too, because, um, I think that, uh, so what's, what's interesting is if you look back at a lot of these like quotes that people attribute to Jesus, uh, cause that is one thing you said, turn the other cheek. But so for example, one that, uh, one of the beatitudes that he, he mentioned was the meek shall inherit the earth. And on the surface, that seems really stupid. Cause you're like, what?

1:01:56 Like meek is like these, like someone who's like cowardly and like, just like shy and they mumble and they won't see enough for themselves. Like, wow, those people inherit the earth. And if you actually go back back and, uh, look at the etnology of the, the words that were translated, a better translation would be something like those who know how to use swords, but keep them sheathed will inherit the earth. And that has such a different fucking meaning because it's like people that know how to stand up for themselves and who have that confidence, but who don't flaunt it and who don't abuse it.

1:02:31 Those are the people that will inherit the earth because you know, the whole point of learning how to fight and learning all these different skillsets is that you don't have to use them. And that's what will happen a lot of the time too. Like, you know, Mark, you and I have been in a game for a long time and it's like, you know, we, a lot of these, like these one-liners and things we learned, uh, originally to get it started worked really great. But now we've reached a certain point where it's like, we don't even have to use them because like the girls can just sense that we have them and it's like, they can just sense that we've gotten success.

1:03:02 And it's like, you don't even, it's like when you have it, you don't even have to use it, you know? Yeah. Oh man, that is, that is so profound. It's like the MMA fighter, he never gets in fights with people and he's the most imperturbable guy ever. Like I have a couple of friends that, that fight, you know, professionally and it's like nothing you can say can get under their skin. They're the nicest guys ever because they know they can just destroy you within one second.

1:03:27 So I love that, man. The meek shall inherit the earth. It's keeping, it's having the, the, the sword, but keeping it ceased because you don't need it. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah. All right. It's a great quote. God damn. This is good shit. All right. So the fifth one, the fifth is when you have true confidence, when you have true self-esteem, when you know who you are, you have compassion, you let go of ego, you're not judging other people, you know, you're satisfied with yourself, you're happy, you become like a child again.

1:03:57 And one of the greatest compliments anybody could ever give me is when they tell me I'm like a child, Mark, you're like a kid. And when you, when you really get that lasting confidence, when you look at these enlightened masters, like look at a picture of a Zen master, he's almost like a child. And Lao Tzu, the guy who wrote the Tao Te Ching, the book that Taoism and Zen Buddhism is based on, Lao Tzu is literally translated as the big boy. So it's like a man who's like a boy and Eckhart Tolle, which by the way, John, I think he's an enlightened being.

1:04:30 I think he's one of the few enlightened beings that are on our earth right now. You guys should look them up, Eckhart Tolle. He's like a kid, man. You ever see him speak? Yeah. Yeah. He's like, he's like this little, he's like bent over with his little vest on and he's like, he like always laughs at his jokes and he's like a little kid. But deep in his eyes, you see that power, dude. It's this fierceness. So it's this balance between this fierceness and this extreme gentleness and this, this extreme wisdom and this extreme childlike quality.

1:05:03 I think when you've really mastered your life, when you've really gotten this confidence, that genuineness, that childlike, like that childness that you were when you were a kid that you had when you were just a little guy comes out and think about it. When you were a kid, were you afraid of talking to girls? Hell no. You'd see a girl and you'd be like, you'd tug on her skirt and be like, Hey, you're pretty. You didn't give a shit what other people thought. You didn't give a shit about rules or anything.

1:05:27 You were just who you are. You were purely genuine and you just acted purely on internal instinct and acted purely with genuine intent. Yeah. Yeah. That's why sometimes I'll use the term schoolyard game because that's literally what it is. It's like, you know, I mean, like I remember back to when I was a kid, like I didn't have any fucking negative experiences of like girls flaking and like people being bitchy. And like, you know, adults being mean to me and there was none of that baggage.

1:05:58 Like everything just came so naturally. I mean, I remember this one girl, Diana, who I don't even know why I named her because I don't, I haven't talked to her since I was in preschool. But, uh, we like, we, we, uh, I think I said like I wanted to kiss tongues with her and we just started like kissing tongues when I was in preschool and, uh, it's just like, like looking back, it's like, damn, that was just so natural. It's like, I just didn't give a fuck.

1:06:23 You know, not like now it's like, you know, you was like, oh, I have to do this thing and like say this thing and dah, dah, dah. It's like, like when you get that certain point where you're just in the zone and you're just flowing, it's like you get that schoolyard game where you're just so like innocent. You just like, you don't expect anything. Like you don't, you're not a stranger to negative things happening, but you don't like approach a girl expecting something bad to happen.

1:06:46 You just approach her. Cause you're like, Hey, like, you know, I seem interested. Like the purest intentions, the purest, uh, you know, the purest emotions, just like happy giving, like just wanting to share the good emotions and, uh, that, that schoolyard game to put it that way does fucking work. Like it's just, it's who we are before, you know, our parents are mean to us and our, our bullies at school bully us and our fucking dumb shit happens and we have financial stress and it's like who you are underneath all of that.

1:07:14 That's the attractive version of you that you need to learn to bring out. It's that childlike innocence, that childlike, uh, just, you know, uh, wonder and sense of awe with life. What I love most about this game is it can give you things that almost nothing else can going after money, becoming a professional athlete. Those are all great. But when you learn how to deal with women, you get so much out of it. You get so much self-esteem and confidence and ability that translates into a bunch of different aspects of your life.

1:07:46 It's beyond anything else. Any other self-development course, you can take anything in my opinion. And that's why I stay with it. I don't, I don't go into other shit. I stay with teaching men how to attract women because I've seen the biggest evolutions in men's lives that I could ever hope for. Like unbelievable stuff. Now, when you're a kid, you have that genuine confidence. I believe we're all born with true and whole self-esteem, but through life's experiences, like what John said, you get bullied at school, you get insulted, you get rejected by a girl, all these little things kind of like break up your self-esteem.

1:08:21 And then you have these insecure mannerisms to try to cover that all up. Now, the good news is, is that this game can give that back to you. But the difference is there's an extra layer added onto it. It's the knowledge of having gone through all that bullshit. So it's actually a deeper layer of wisdom. So look at the bullshit that you've gone through, if you have gone through it, as a gift. And you know, it's 108 minutes in, you wouldn't be listening unless you really have gone through some stuff in your life and unless you really want to improve.

1:08:51 But all that stuff is a gift. I consider my anxiety attacks, my agoraphobia, my panic attacks, all the shit I went through as the biggest gift that ever happened to me, I consider all the rejections, all the, dude, I didn't, unlike you, John, I didn't get laid until I was 21 the first time, 21 years old. And I was like, man, there's a problem here. I need to get that back and, or excuse me, I need to get good at this. And through all these experiences I've had through learning game, you know, I feel like I have that extra layer of depth, of wisdom.

1:09:23 And, and now today I am kind of childlike, I am genuine. And I just, I can go up to a girl and be like, Hey, you were cute. I wanted to come meet you. Who are you? And that's reflected again in my body language and my vibe and everything about me, because I've gone through all that. You know, you can't just be a kid and fucking be a kid that your entire life, those people are called failures. You know what I'm saying? Those are the drug addicts and the people who, who never learned their shit.

1:09:49 So your struggle, your scar is the greatest thing that happened to you because it's going to add that layer of depth. But eventually we want to get back to that genuine, that genuine kid again. But again, it's with that layer of depth and it's with that layer of strength and wisdom. So when you look at a girl, there's genuineness in there, but there's also do not fuck with me. There's also wisdom. There's also humor, charisma, all the things that women are attracted to are boom, just translated to her and just the way you fucking look at her.

1:10:20 And when you get to that level of confidence, you can go up to a girl and I dare say like John and I can do and just be like, Hey, and she's fucking right there with you. You can say nothing at all because you have that reflecting from you. So again, to put this into some pragmatic things that you guys can do, I cannot stress enough. First of all, work on how you talk to yourself. Second of all, get out there and talk to people. Third of all, get rejected, man.

1:10:47 Who gives a shit? It's going to build your confidence. And fourth of all, just believe that you can get there. Believe that you can become the fucking alpha, the man, the guy that walks down the street and gets looks from women. Doesn't matter what you look like. Doesn't matter what you think about yourself right now. This is all achievable for you. And that's why I absolutely love this industry because it can give that to you and it can give that to you right now. Absolutely. I mean, one of the girls that I was dating for a while, she said something that really, really hit me pretty deep.

1:11:20 And so I'm a very analytical person. I always like to read and like think about things logically. And, um, she said to me that you learn the most in your life from people. And that just really hit me because like, it's so true. I mean, like you, you know, like reading books and, you know, uh, learning things logically, that's great. But I think I've learned the most in my life from women, like from, from learning game and from becoming more attractive as a man. And, and the thing is that women are a microcosm of the universe.

1:11:51 So what that means is that women are basically a miniature version of the universe. Uh, you know, everything that women are attracted to, uh, you know, when you, when you learn to be confident and to be decisive and to lead and to go for what you want. And because of that, women are more attracted to you. Those same characteristics that women are attracted to are the characteristics that will bring you success in the universe, in the real world, in business, in health and finance. Women are a microcosm of the universe.

1:12:21 God, dude, you're throwing out some deep shit today, bro. Thank you, man. You are too. This is a deep podcast. Dude, my legs went out, bro. I fell on the floor while you were talking, had to get back up. I always tell girls that I'm always like, I'm always like, dude, you're like, when you first walked in here, I saw you and your beauty hit me so hard. My legs went out. Did you see me? I was crawling on the floor for a little bit and they always laughed.

1:12:41 They're like, no, I didn't see that. But that's something funny you could say to girls. So, uh, dude, this was, this was phenomenal, man. And again, it's, it's, um, what is it? Serendipity or what's it called? Where you and I met and this, this happened because of a reason. Serendipity, synchronicity. Synchronicity. That's what it was. So, um, yeah, man, we're just, we're jiving and I think we're on the same page with a lot of things. So I have really high hopes for this podcast, man. I'm really excited about it.

1:13:07 I do too. We, so Mark got a, a new image created guys. Let us know what you think of it, by the way. I think it looks pretty cool. Yeah. There's some, there's some like blood splatter. Cause I thought it was a little bit too plain, just the black and the white. So, um, I found some blood splatter and slap that on there. And now we can also have the, uh, the titles of each, of each, um, chapter on there. So hopefully that'll increase clicks. And, uh, I also did some things with my mic.

1:13:31 So hopefully it's a little less echoey in here. We'll see how that turns out, but always trying to improve, always trying to get better. And like we said, in the first podcast, you just got to fucking do it and then improve from there. So, uh, we're here now and I think this is gonna, this is gonna continue. So John, I already plugged my stuff. I'm not going to bother. If you guys want to find my stuff, just click in the links below. John, do you want to quickly tell them about your stuff?

1:13:54 Yeah. So, I mean, all my stuff is down in the links below in the description. Uh, so I have three products out right now. First one is seven strategies to develop your masculinity. That's the first product that I launched and is the best selling products that I have. Uh, it's all about developing your confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness, becoming an alpha male without having to pull up this bullshit facade of being, you know, an asshole or change who you are. It's about, you know, becoming the most attractive version of yourself in the least amount of time.

1:14:21 And I highly recommend you guys check it out, uh, because I've heard some incredible things. I've had some great testimonials from guys messaging me and emailing me from it. Uh, the second one is body of an alpha. That's my fitness program. Again, a lot of great results that I've heard from guys messaging me on Twitter and Facebook and emailing me. Uh, you know, I cover everything that you need to know about just becoming so fucking jacked that you look like a goddamn Greek God walking down the street and women just pull their panties down and ask you to fuck them.

1:14:50 Uh, the third product is Bitcoin millionaire, which is a trading course that's super in depth. It's a multi video module set of set of modules. I, we have a 10 modules out right now. Uh, I'm, you know, literally, uh, telling people what to buy, when to buy it. You know, I'm saying exactly what I'm doing. Uh, we just closed it off, I think. Right, Mark. So, um, that one is closed off for now, but you can check it out down below. We have more information on it.

1:15:15 You can bookmark the page if you want to be there for when it opens. Uh, if we open it again in the future and, uh, yeah, just check out the links down below. And, uh, this was an awesome fucking podcast. Mark, do you have anything you want to add? Yeah. So I did, I did body of an alpha myself, which again is John's course. And it's like driving down the street, my arm will be hanging out my window and my arm is so jacked that just fucking panties will be flying at my car.

1:15:40 And like one time it went around my face and I fucking almost crashed my car, bro. So damn, that's dangerous, dude. Yeah. You should probably stop selling this. When you walk down the street, it's just bras and panties just flying at you. It's like a lingerie section. And, um, it's insane, man. Seriously though, when, when you get jacked, it, it makes so much difference. I mean, you can, you can totally change your game to qualification, which means you're having her chase after you, uh, right from the get go and, you know, add in a little humor.

1:16:10 I have a book called the conversation sniper, uh, which is, which, which is an upsell for the approach formula. If you get the approach formula, you can see it. And it has these like 101 funny lines. You can say to girls that just gets them cracking up, but it's like, I hardly get to have to use that anymore, bro, because you got me so jacked. It's like, they, they just want to, you know, touch my chest, touch my chesticles, which if I ever did that to them, I'd be crucified.

1:16:37 Yeah. Yeah. It's a major double standard. And, uh, that's like most of my Tinder game too, by the way, guys, is like, just slap a picture of, of my fucking, uh, you know, fitness photo shoot that I got that body from body of an alpha. Just put it on Tinder and girls just message me first and want to hang out. So highly recommend it. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Well, um, I, this is my favorite podcast so far. I'm super excited about the next one. So guys, tell us what you think.

1:17:00 Please comment below. Um, if you could also subscribe, we would appreciate that. And maybe even slap a like on there. You know, I don't want to tempt the devil here, but we actually haven't gotten any dislike so far. We've, yeah. Have you seen that John? I have. Yeah. Only likes, man. What a compliment that that really feels good to see. But you know what? If there is a dislike, um, again, the tallest poppy always gets cut. If they're hating on you, it's probably cause you're doing something right.

1:17:24 And inevitably we're going to get some haters coming on here, but Hey, take it as a compliment because if you're getting attention, attention is better than getting it ignored. At least you're doing something. So, um, yeah, man, looking forward to the next podcast and thank you again, guys, for listening. We really appreciate you. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to reach out to us anytime we're here for you. We want to see you improve and get after it and become the confident best version of yourself.

1:17:49 So thanks again for listening. We will see you on podcast number six. Peace.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.