Short? Fat? Bald? Crippled? Ugly? Boring? Asian? Indian? Can These Guys Still Get Girls?

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And today, do I have a special one for you guys. What to do when you're short fat, ugly, bald, your face looks like a goddamn pizza box and you're Asian or Indian. And why did I say Asian or Indian? It's not because I'm racist.

0:35 Everybody relax. It's because I keep getting emails from Asian and Indian dudes who are like, Mark, I'm Asian. I'm naturally unattractive or I'm Indian. Girls will not like me because I'm from India and these limiting beliefs that I see over and over again. So I thought to myself, how could I help these guys out in the best way possible? Me being a white, Caucasian, six foot two, relatively in shape dude, do I really have the required insight to be able to give advice to an Asian or an Indian dude?

1:02 Honestly, I feel like I do, but I went straight to the source. I went to an Asian guy who I believe told me he was five, five, has a super hot white blonde girlfriend who is taller than him and who is super duper confident. His name is Mike Macapinlack. And I asked him, I said, Mike, I want you to come on my show, brother, and educate these guys about how you became as confident as you are today to be able to get the success, not only with women, but also in life in general.

1:33 And guys, real recognizes real. This guy is the real deal. So I just interviewed him, just wrapped it up. It's a fantastic interview. Stay tuned to the end because we really start hitting our pace and start saying some really, really important things, not only if you're Asian or Indian, but also if you're bald, ugly, or any other limiting belief that you think you have, you definitely want to listen to this one. So gentlemen, without further ado, I introduced you, Mike Macapinlack. What is up, Mike? How you been, brother?

2:03 What's up, bro? What's going on? I'm so glad to be back on your podcast. I know it's been a while. I was just telling my guys in the intro, I never let people on this podcast because I get hit up literally like five times a day. Mark, let me come on the podcast. I'm going to give you guys tons of stuff. And I'm always like, what's in it for me, man? They never mentioned that. And when I tell my guys about, you know, when you're dealing with people and you teach this too, you always want to work under the concept of with them, what's in it for me and tell the person what's in it for them.

2:29 So when I think about somebody who's super freaking confident and listen, real recognizes real, I could tell immediately the first time I met you, how confident you are yet you're quote unquote Asian, which a lot of guys have issues with her Asian. You're short quote unquote, yet you still get so much success, Mike. So we're going to talk about how you were able to pull that off. So first of all, man, um, tell, tell the guys a little bit about yourself and, and I want to know like what your, uh, ethnicity is, how tall you are and kind of some of your history as being a kind of a nerd computer programmer guy, and then kind of what happened with that.

3:08 So we'll start with that background first. Sure. Well, first of all, thank you so much for all the kind words, words, Mark. That's, that's really, that's always greatly appreciated. So yeah, long story short, I'm a social skills coach. I mainly work with a lot of, uh, shy and techie introverts to help them improve their social lives. So very similar to you, you know, like I teach people how to create more meaningful relationships, you know, make friends, um, you know, basically just, just have an abundant social circle.

3:36 Right. And, uh, how I got started, you know, basically this, uh, this, you know, like my whole journey started back in 2008. That's when my family and I integrated from, uh, from the Philippines. You know, I was born there, born, born in a small farm, but because of my dad's job, I actually moved to Saudi Arabia when, uh, when I was 11. So 11 to 16, I lived in Saudi Arabia. And if you know anything about both countries, right, you know, Philippines and Saudi Arabia, you know, both very conservative, a lot of, a lot of cultural norms that are very different when I moved to North America.

4:11 Right. Number one is the biggest one that I had to overcome was that, um, being loud and outspoken are both not encouraged in those countries. Right. Because, you know, like, you know, uh, respect and like reputation is so big, like you never want to come across as brash. Right. So we're always encouraged to be humble and quiet, you know, that kind of stuff. If you're too loud, you know, like people really look down upon you. Right. So when I moved to Canada, when I was 17, you know, like I had a lot of things going on for me, right.

4:39 Number one, back then I used to be overweight. So at five, five, I used to be 200 pounds, right. Like really big. Yeah. Had a 36 inch waist. Like I w I was massive. Second thing, my, uh, my face was covered in pimples, right? Like it was bad. It was like a slice of pepperoni pizza. Number three, back then I barely spoke English. Right. Um, it, I, I, I couldn't express myself. Like I remember back in high school, my friend made a joke and he's like, yo, that's sick.

5:09 And because I didn't get the joke, I was like, oh, does it need medicine? Like I took everything so literally. And I remember seeing snow for the first time. Cause I've never seen snow. Right. Like I pulled up an umbrella, like on my way to school and people were looking at me weird. They're like, why do you have an umbrella? It's snowing. So long story short, I felt left out. I didn't fit in, you know, just like, I just didn't know how to assimilate. Right. It's not like, Hey, now you're in North America.

5:32 Here's a handbook on how to assimilate as a person of color. So I, you know, like for the, for the longest time I had this limiting belief that, um, I was inadequate, right. Just because, you know, like in high school and again, like, you know, sorry, backtrack a little bit, you know, like, uh, growing up in the Philippines and in Saudi Arabia, we watch a lot of North American films, right. You know, like a lot of, a lot of these Hollywood movies and that kind of stuff.

5:59 And so, so in my head, like, if you're white, you're blonde, you got blue eyes, you're tall, right. Like, like in my eyes, you're like high status. You know what I mean? So in, so in high school, you know, like I was like, Oh man, like I, I was really drawn and attracted to, you know, just people outside of my race. Right. Uh, first one, because they're so they're different. You know, like I, I, I didn't grow up with, you know, like having Caucasians around me.

6:21 So, and not to mention the conditioning that I receive at a young age, right. Like seeing all these Hollywood films, you know, that kind of stuff. So when I moved to North America, I just had this sense of, uh, I developed an inferiority complex, right. I thought I was less than, I didn't think I was good enough, you know, that kind of stuff. So yeah, I develop a lot of people pleasing, uh, tendencies and not to mention the dating strategy that I was using when I moved to North America, you know, was still based on what worked in the Philippines.

6:56 Right. And back then, I don't know if you know anything about the culture, Mark, like back then, if you want to date a girl, this is like the time when like I grew up and like, I, you know, I started having crushes on girls. You have to ask for their parents' permission to be able to take them out on a date. Like that's like my conditioning, right? Like moving to North America. So yeah, like long story short, like that's why I struggled socially, both with making friends, not to mention attracting, uh, you know, potential romantic interests.

7:21 And that's kind of my background story, man. I get so many guys hit me up and they're like, I'm unattractive because I'm Asian. I'm unattractive because I'm Indian. There's been this stigma created in society, particularly in those ethnicities mind that they are intrinsically unattractive. So you come to Canada, you're, you're short Asian overweight face. Looks like a goddamn pizza box, dude. And I think I asked this to you on our first conversation. I was like, how'd you get so confident? Cause me, man, I was super unconfident too, but I did NLP, right?

7:57 Like I did the neuro-linguistic programming really got out there and do what I tell my guys to do, which is open 20 girls a week, really put myself in the mix and do it that way. I'm just so shocked that you were able to ascend to this level. Certainly. I know how I would have gotten you there, but you didn't do the typical route that I suggest. So what did you do? Like, give us some action item steps. And before you answer that, how tall are you?

8:25 5'5". And how tall is your girlfriend? Uh, my current girlfriend is 5'7", but I've been with many women in the past. Uh, the tallest one, I believe a sixth one. Jesus Christ, man. So, so she's blonde and she's hot. I saw a picture of her the other day and that's why, cause I kept getting emails from Asian dudes and they're like, I'm not attracted because I'm Asian. And then I'm like, here's Mike dude, floss in the super hot blonde girl. So when you first come to Canada, what was like the first steps you started taking to get yourself out of this?

8:50 And guys, as you're listening, I want you to apply this to yourself. I don't care if you're bald, fat, if you consider yourself ugly, this mentality that Mike was able to leverage and use to better himself will work for you. So listen very carefully to the tips that he gives you. So please, Mike. I appreciate that, Mark. So needless to say, you know, like I, like I didn't, I wasn't born with a lot of natural gifts, right? Like I wasn't tall. I wasn't like overly good looking.

9:17 Um, but, uh, and it's, it's funny cause like, again, my limiting belief was so bad at like, oh, I, I can't like, I can't fully participate in this, in this new environment. So like I, I settled for like low paying jobs. And what I meant by low paying jobs was like, my first job was at Subway, Mark. And then I worked at McDonald's cause like, I, I literally thought that's all I deserve as a person of color. But then at a young age, even though like I, I wasn't born with a lot of natural advantages, I've always been good at pattern recognition.

9:51 Right. So at a young age, I am like, okay, like I don't want to work. I don't want to come home and smell like, you know, like, like ham and, and bread, right. Or, or French fries. Right. So, so at a young age, I was like, okay, like there's got to be a better way, you know? So I started seeing other people of color, you know, other, other Asians, other Indians, right. And they're like, and they're cool, you know, they're, they're popular, they're invited to parties and stuff like that.

10:19 And I'm like, okay, well, what the heck? Like, well, if, if, if, if they can do it, like what, what, what are they doing? So at a young age, I started, that's, that's, that was my mindset when I was younger. Right. Like I've always been good at recognizing patterns. So the first pattern that I recognized was like, okay, well, a lot of them are in shape. A lot of them are well-groomed. So that was the first thing that I did. I'm like, okay, well, I'm overweight.

10:42 You know, I grew up in a, you know, very traditional Asian and Middle Eastern diet, right? Like not super healthy. Wasn't really health conscious when I was younger. So out of like sheer desperation, I'm like, okay, well, that makes sense. Like they're in shape, they're well-dressed. That's when I started getting involved in, in, in health and fitness. You know, like I started working out, I paid a personal trainer, you know, like I started like reading a lot of men's health. So, you know, I got in shape, lost the weight, right.

11:03 I went from like a 36 inch waist to like a 28 inch waist. And I started dressing better. Right. And immediately I was like, wow, okay. Like people are starting to treat me differently. So, you know, like back in high school, I don't know if you remember this, like working in retail was like the cool thing, right? Because, you know, like it's, there's that status symbol, you get discounts on the clothes. So I went from like working at McDonald's subway to like moving into retail. So obviously like I was able to like level up my wardrobe because I worked in retail.

11:33 Plus I got discounts on clothes. And this, this was like, while I was going to school for structural design, right? Because, you know, if you're a, if you're an Asian kid, you get very limited options. You're either going to be an engineer, an accountant, a doctor, right. Or, or any, anything prestigious basically. So your parents can brag about you to their families. So leveled up my wardrobe, started getting in shape. And it's funny because like, okay, I'm getting positive attention, but I was still awkward. Right.

12:01 Like I was, I still didn't know what to say. I was still like not super confident internally. So even though like I look confident, I didn't fully feel confident, even though like it shifted a little bit for sure, because it's kind of hard to, you know, like, like yourself if you don't particularly like what you see in the mirror, you know? So changing the, changing the exterior, that was my first step. And then that's when I started getting into, you know, like learning about social skills.

12:31 And unfortunately back then, right. Like Mark, your podcast wasn't around. Like you give very good advice, you know, all the other stuff that's available today. It wasn't available back then. And I was limited to, you know, just like, like weird POA tactics. Right. So, so I'm like, all right, I guess, I guess this is what's available. This is what I'm going to do. So it's funny. So I'm not, I'm not going to go super deep into that because it's not super relevant. It actually, I feel like it made me worse a little bit because I felt like I had to be someone that I wasn't.

13:02 But one thing that really shook me was like, wow, there's, there's a method to be able to improve myself. Right. Like I'm not, I don't have to settle. I don't have to settle for what's available. I don't have to settle for like, you know, the types of girls that I can meet within my family friends. You know what I mean? Like I didn't have to settle for what was available. I could actually create the dating and social life that I wanted. So even though like the methods were very antiquated and outdated and a lot of them were kind of weird, it was that shift in my belief that like, oh, I could do it, you know, and which was really encouraging for me.

13:33 So, because as you know, like in order to create a new belief, you need to have new experiences. Right. And you're only going to partake in new experiences if you actually entertain the idea that it's a possibility. Right. So the fact that like, okay, I, it's a possibility. So that's when I started going out, you know, like meeting new people, that kind of stuff. And then to be honest with you, like a lot of it, it didn't work, but still, you know, like, well, back then I was like, well, what's, what's my other choice?

14:05 You know, like, I'm either going to be lonely. I'm not going to have a social life. I'm not going to have, I'm not going to feel good about myself. I'm not going to like, I'm always going to feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. You know what I mean? So even though like initially, like how I got into it wasn't the best way, I started looking for other resources. That's when I started, you know, similar to you, Mark, like I started getting more into NLP, reading better, reading better books.

14:29 Right. You know, like to be honest with you, like what really, what really changed my experience and, and took my social life on like a quantum leap level was actually healing a lot of my childhood wounds, you know, like a lot of, a lot of my limiting beliefs, a lot of the way that, a lot of the way that I interacted with members of the opposite sex, a lot of the ways that I dealt with stressful situations, you know, like I modeled a lot of those things for my parents.

14:58 Right. And, you know, I love, I love them to death. They, they did the best they could with what they knew obviously. Right. But you know, like I'm an adult now and I don't need to hold on to the past. Right. Like I can, I can now change the meaning that I give to things, you know, like I can, I can become the parent that I needed, you know, like not the parent, not, you know, like I didn't have to rely on, uh, you know, like how I was brought up.

15:20 Like I, I didn't, I didn't have to, um, blame the past cause I can't really change that. Right. So that was a big shift, man, is like going internal, you know, like really healing those wounds, you know, like there's a self-development, uh, course that I took. And what, one of, one of the things that they said is like, you're only as real as your deepest, darkest secrets. You're only as real as your deepest, darkest secrets. I was like, wow. And at that point, you know, like I was carrying like just like so much shame, right.

15:50 About like where I was from. Um, I didn't, we didn't really have a lot of money growing up, you know? So, so I had a lot of these stories that I was telling myself, oh, I can't get, I can't date a white girl because of this. I can't be around cool people because of this. Right. So it wasn't until I, it wasn't until I started addressing those things and changing the story that I associated with them because, you know, in the grand scheme of things, you know, like at least for me back then, I wasn't as confident and as successful socially because I was afraid of people getting to know me, right.

16:23 When people get to know me, they're not going to quote unquote, like what they see. So, you know, like through that journey of going deep, you know, like going to all like the dark spots, you know, like the, the, the, the, the parts of my personality that I didn't want to face. Right. You know, like I, I knew that like improving externally, i.e. working out and dressing better, that can only take me so far. The real quantum leap happened when I went, when I went internal and like really got to, got it to know myself, um, created a vision for my life, you know, like that was big, right.

16:58 You know, like knowing like, okay, what, what's my ideal lifestyle and actually doing a lot of things outside of dating and social skills, you know, just like pursue, you know, pursuing hobbies, right. You know, getting into spirituality, you know, basically just like making myself more attractive because here's my utmost belief, right. Not everyone is born good looking, right. And by good looking, it's all relative to your environment, but anybody can become more attractive. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because good looking is relative in North America.

17:26 Average height is what? Five, nine, five, 10. There's a standard of what's considered to be good looking, but anybody can become attractive. Right. And that means like becoming not just, uh, you know, like good looking on the outside, but also having substance, right. Having a lot of things to say and living an interesting life. You said something I wanted to touch upon, which was the first step you made was to kind of improve your, uh, physical appearance, which was to lose the weight, get your style dialed in.

17:51 And while that is good and women do look at that, it's really how you feel about yourself. That's more important as a result of doing those things. So you losing the weight. Now your body language is slightly different. Now you're carrying yourself slightly different. Even your tonality is slightly different. So if a guy's overweight and let's say he completely accepts himself, he can still be attractive to women, but it's easier when you are in shape. It's easier when you do have style and then going on your other point, working on the internal bullshit is just the paramount, most important thing.

18:31 And that's why I do NLP. I've talked about it a million times, but when you get the belief systems removed that I'm not enough, I'm Asian and Asian is unattractive. I'm too old for that girl. I'm too fat for that girl. I'm too bald for that girl. Then that's going to be reflected in your body language and you're not going to get her attracted to you. Whereas when you fully accept yourself the way you clearly have, and I clearly have, it doesn't so much matter what you look like, quote unquote.

18:54 And in your case, you're shorter than a lot of the women that you date for many women. And I'll tell you, 90% of women on, um, on dating apps, put that five, nine is their fucking cutoff point. And they will not even match with you if you're less than five, nine. That's why when guys come into my program, we were five, nine or less. We have different ways that we deal with getting women. But the fact that you fully believe in yourself, even though quote unquote, you're not the archetypal attractive guy in North America is the reason you're able to get this unbelievable success.

19:20 And guys listening, I don't care what you look like. I don't care if you're Indian, Asian, fat, bald, you freaking look like a chicken McNugget with tits. It doesn't matter, man. It's all your self-belief. And where does that start, Mike? Working on yourself, right? What matters to a certain point? Because at the end of the day, right? Like if, if you are, you know, like short, bald and you're overweight, right? You know, like, yes, there are exceptions to the rule. You know, like I, uh, uh, who's that guy?

19:54 Um, he's like in a wheelchair. Um, he's like a motivational speaker, but then like Mary is like super hot blonde chick. I forgot the name. Um, I don't know the name either, but I think I know who you're talking about. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about, right? So there's always exception to the rule. Now, like where I'm coming from is I want to stack the odds on my end, right? You know, like, okay. So net, like looking back now, you know, like if I can travel back in time and give, you know, like 19, 20 year old, 20 year old, like advice, this is what I would tell them.

20:25 Number one is control the controllables. Okay. Can't do much about your height. Can't do much about your skin color, but you can definitely work on your fitness. And you know, it's so funny, Mark, like, you don't like, you don't need to be like bodybuilder Jack, right? You don't need to be like Bruce Lee shredded. Just like, just don't have a gut hanging out of your, your, your pants, right? Just like feel good about yourself. Like women care so much less about what you look like, as long as you're like relatively in shape and kind of like what you said, it's, it's what it does to your self image, right?

20:55 Because going to the gym, doing something hard, you know, like that, that, like there's something about that, you know, like that shape, that shapes your character. Wow. I'm the kind of person who can do hard things. You know what I mean? So now you're like, okay, if I can do it in this area, then you have that reference experience, right? That's key. If you're, if you're attempting to do something new, you need, like your, your mind will go into like, okay, like I'm going to, I'm going to approach this girl or I'm going to join this social circle.

21:23 When have I done something difficult in the past, right? So the more difficult things you've done outside of socializing, you know, dating, whatever the case may be, you know, like, okay, now you're going to have that internal belief to, to take a risk. Cause you're like, okay, I've done this. I've done this before. There's a, there's probably a good chance. I can do it with this. And it also helps you manage your expectations, right? Because one thing that I've learned from going to the gym is that nothing great ever happens overnight, right?

21:50 Like you don't just magically lose the weight unless you obviously like get a liposuction, you know, which is a different, different conversation. If you do it, you know, like the old fashioned way of like tracking your food, eating healthy, cooking your meals, going to the gym, et cetera, being patient, taking measurements, you can apply those same philosophy to socializing and meeting people. You're like, okay, a, I'm going to suck at this. I'm probably going to be quote, unquote, injured. IE. I'm going to have embarrassing experiences.

22:15 Number three, it's going to take some time. And that's okay. Cause the problem that I see with people, like, if you think about it, right, the reason why most people feel disappointed is because their expectations are here, which is so high, you know, from all the, the, the, the, just bad marketing advice that they see online, you know, with all these quick fix solutions. Well, Mark, like, as you know, like, whether it's building a business, building a lasting relationship or, or, or becoming the type of person who attracts people effortlessly, all of those things take time, right?

22:49 So yeah, control the controllables. That's the first thing that I would tell him. Uh, anything you want to add to that? Well, take me off guard here, bro. Like you're the one speaking and suddenly you're like, Mark, I ran out of things to say. So you take it. No, no, no. I just, I just, I want to make sure I don't, you know, like obviously hog the show, right? Like this is, I like having a conversation with you. Yeah. So, okay. So action item steps, right.

23:15 Control the controllables. I love that. I actually did a podcast recently about that, how it's actually, uh, um, from Seneca who was a stoic philosopher. He said, focus only on what you can control because certain things are out of your control. So what I was telling my guys is to put your self-congratulation on the level of effort, not results. So if you go and approach that girl and she says no to you, bro, there's so many uncontrollable factors that you don't know about her that could be influencing the outcome of that interaction.

23:43 So what you do is you congratulate yourself on the effort. Did I approach that girl? Did I have the balls to go do that? Yes, I did. And like you said, incremental improvement is the nature of all mastery. Nothing happens overnight. So in addition to that, you've got to rep it out, bro. Like I guarantee you guys, Mike has tens of thousands of hours under his belt of simply socializing with people because he was a schlep when he first moved to Canada, couldn't talk to a fricking rock it to save his life.

24:10 And now for all intents and purposes, he's a very successful social skills coach. How did that happen, guys? Was it just NLP? Was it just working on yourself? No. Reps upon reps upon reps to where when he saw his current girlfriend, he rolled up on her like a fucking champ, opened her, got her in conversation and was able to do that. But it takes time just like your gym analogy. It takes reps upon reps upon reps. Back to you, Mike. I love that. The second thing that I would say is you've got to be mindful of what you focus on, right?

24:44 Because you can find evidences for everything. You know, like you can find evidences for, oh, like that girl wouldn't date short guys. You know, it says in her profile or like that girl doesn't want to date Indian guys or Asian guys or like that girl doesn't want to date bald guys. Right? Sure. You can find evidences for that, but can you find evidence that's pretty opposite? You know, let's, let's take, let's, let's use the bald analogy. For example, look at the rock, man. Look at Jason Statham.

25:11 Holy, like those guys are bald, but they're getting like so many hot chicks, right? And don't make the excuse that they're a celebrity, you know, whatever. The point that I'm trying to make is like, well, what, what did they do? Right? You know, like how can you model yourself as closely to that, that person as possible? So for me, again, going back to, um, when I was younger, I started looking for other Asian guys, Indian guys, right? You know, Filipino guys, you know, Korean guys, whatever that are attracting the types of, the types of relationships that, that, uh, that I wanted.

25:43 And I started like, wow. Okay, cool. Like there's people out there that have done it, you know, like this guy short, but wow, look at his girlfriend. She's so hot. This guy is Asian, but like, wow, look at his, look at his girlfriend, you know, that kind of stuff. And, and, and that, and to me, I'm like, okay, well, if my mind can only contain one thought at any given moment, why would I, why would I poison my mind and look for evidences that doesn't support the goals that I want, right?

26:09 Like it's up to me. If I'm going to think of, if I'm going to think of like one thought, well, I'm going to focus on, you know, like the, the events, circumstances, other people that support the type of goal that I want, right? So if you're Asian, if you're Indian, if you're short, if you're bald, look for evidences of success, right? Have other short people become socially confident, right? Have other bald people become socially confident, Asian, Indian, et cetera, whatever. Look for evidences because that's going to give you a lot of hope because I don't know what to tell you.

26:39 Like if, uh, you know, there's no amount of motivation that Mark and I can give you if you don't believe that you can do it right. And that belief starts with you like being mindful of what you focus on. So again, unsubscribe from the subreddits, you know, like remove yourself from those, uh, poisonous Facebook groups that are conglomerating and like talking about like, Oh, you know, like I can't get a date. I can't, I can't get a date or like my social life sucks because of X, Y, and Z.

27:09 Well, that's not going to help you, right? Like, yeah, look for evidence of success. So that's tip number two. It's a limiting belief system. And that's why I love NLP is we literally remove these belief systems. I actually had a client, uh, recently signed up and he really wants to be a coach like we are Mike and he's young, he's black and he's a man. And he's like, I can't become, I can't become a life coach because I'm a young black male. And I was like, but, but, but what, what now I have hired young black males to help me get to me to where I am to have mentors who are a black man.

27:41 What the fuck kind of belief is that? I'm like, we're going to remove that belief. First thing, day one, hour one, that's what we're doing. That's what we did. And now he doesn't believe that anymore. So you have to question what you believe. And as Wayne Dyer always says, don't believe everything you think, don't believe everything you think. And when it's counterproductive to getting the result that you want to get, drop it. And you ask Mark, how do I drop it? How would you drop a hot coal that I hand you?

28:04 You drop it. Now, of course, as I always say, sometimes we need to get more intrusive, but your thoughts are illusions and you can choose which ones to pick and which ones to drop as easy as that. Now, again, some of them are meta programs, which are given to you by parents or culture, like what Mike came from. He came from Philippines, where you're not supposed to be loud. You're not supposed to be aggressive and outspoken yet in North America. That's how you get girls, man.

28:28 You fricking go approach her and you're unapologetic about it. Those would take intrusive NLP modalities to remove them. But question what you think, brothers question. Oh, I'm fat. I look like a fricking potato with a bathing suit on it. No girl would ever want to date me. Question that immediately. And a couple of tactical things I wanted to say, I can't help myself. I love to give like tactical advice is if you have something about you that is quote unquote unattractive, make a joke about it.

28:59 OK, if you're bald, say that you're a before picture for a Rogaine commercial. If you're fat, say that you're a before picture for a Weight Watchers commercial. If you're Mexican, I had a Mexican client. He's like, man, you know, girls just don't like me because I'm Mexican. I'm like, man, make fun of yourself. What could you say? And he's like, well, I could tell her that we always park our cars on the lawn of our house because that's how they do it in Mexico. And I'm like, go with that man.

29:22 If you're super duper, duper tall, tell girls you want to become a horse jockey. If you're super, super short, tell girls you want to become a professional basketball player. Make a joke out of that because when you show her that you're unaffected by it, that is attractive because you've risen above the quote unquote limitation that society has put on you. You've risen above it and you're showing her that you're unaffected by it. So do self-deprecating humor. Sure. You don't give a shit and that you are enough.

29:46 That is the most important thing to communicate to a woman. If you do have, if you're Indian or Asian or short, fat, bald, or look like a chicken McNugget with tits. I love that Mark. It's funny that that actually reminds me of a comment that this girl made, you know, like when we were dating, she, she was very tall. She's over six feet. And she said that like, she's like, Hey, you know what I love about you? And I'm like, what? I love that you never bring up your height.

30:12 And in my, in my head, I looked at her and I'm like, I'm like, it didn't even occur to me that it was an issue. You know, I never said it. I just smiled at her, but in my head, I'm just like, it just wasn't an issue because sometimes the problem with, you know, with, with guys or, or, you know, people that are insecure is they, and this goes back to what we said, what we were talking about earlier, right? You know, accepting, fully loving yourself and accepting things that you can't change.

30:40 You know, like what's the, like, what are you going to get out of complaining about your height or your ethnicity? Like that's, that's not going to get you anywhere. Right. So you might as well accept it again, shift your focus, control the controllables and do the best, uh, make the most out of what you have, right. Instead of complaining about it. So, which leads to tip number three, tip number three is, uh, you have to play games that you can win. Right. So, you know, very similar to a lot of people.

31:04 I've tried online dating. I've tried going to bars and clubs and to be quite frank, I didn't see a lot of success in those environments. Right. One thing that has worked well for me is meeting people and meeting women outside of those environments. Right. So to me, like I've met, I've met like 75 of my, 75% of my friends in coffee shops. I've met 75% of the girls that I dated in the, in coffee shops, at the gym, you know, personal development conferences, right. Like on the street, you know, like that kind of stuff.

31:38 Because one thing that I realized is that, you know, like if you think about it, right, if you're at a bar, you know, like women, uh, are comparing you to everyone, everyone that's available. Right. And unfortunately in those environments, you know, like you'll get like the high rollers, you know, like guys who could, who can just spend a lot of money, right. Because they have prestigious jobs. You'll get really tall people, really good looking people. Right. So if women are, you know, like if you're there and she's looking at like, okay, I can talk to this guy or I can talk to the guy towering behind him, then I'd rather talk to the guy who's behind him.

32:06 Right. But then at the coffee shop, a, it's unexpected, right. Like no one's doing it, you know, um, at least for me, because I work from home, I work remotely. Well, number one, I try not to work from home. I'm always at coffee shops. If I strike up a conversation, whether it's a guy or a girl in those types of environments, you know, coffee shops, co-working space, you know, uh, wine bars, you know, that kind of stuff. It's so different and unexpected that like, you know, it's an easy win for me.

32:38 And, and again, how to recognition, I started doing that at a young age. Cause I was like, okay, like I'm spending a lot of money on booze. I'm up late. Like, I don't really like drinking. I don't really like the types of people that I'm meeting at these places. Let me try something different. And that's when I'm like, Oh, like I'm seeing better results, meeting people outside of online dating outside of bars and clubs, you know, like I'm able to make the most out of what I have.

33:01 Right. Because again, if you think about it, you know, like no, there's no girl who wakes up. Maybe there are some, but at least from my experience, most girls don't wake up and they're like, I really want to date a guy who's short and yellow and you know, that kind of stuff. Right. They want the tall, dark and handsome, unfortunately. But Mark, as you know, attraction is an emotional process, right? When you meet people in person and you're able to showcase your verbal fluency, you're able to crack jokes, right?

33:27 They're able to like look you in the eye and like hear your words and like feel your presence, you know, and, and, and, and feel your emotions, you know, like they're going to be attracted to you and they don't know why. Right. Even though like logically in their heads are like, I don't know why I'm so attracted to this person, but I just am. And they just go with it. And that's been my experience over and over again. So yeah, play games if you can win.

33:50 Well, Mike, that is absolutely spectacular advice. I knew I wouldn't regret having you on after all the applications I deny. I was like, this is the guy I want to get. And guys, I reached out to him because his advice is so good because like I said, man, I just kept getting applications from dudes who were like, I'm Asian and I'm unattractive. I'm Indian and I'm unattractive. Or I'm too old is a big one I get all the time. And I'm like, your, your, your, your belief systems are all messed up.

34:15 And once we get that fixed, you can get success the way Mike has now make no mistake, boys. Don't get it twisted. You are going to have to put the reps in. You're going to have to put the work in to put yourself in situations as Mike did to open girls. And when Mike was in that coffee shop, having to go open that girl, it's, it's a scary moment, but he had the courage. He had the fricking intestinal fortitude to go ahead and do that. And now look at it, man, he's got tons of success in his business.

34:38 He's got an amazing girlfriend. He's a happy dude. Why? Because he moved into his fears willingly right behind me, Mike. Do you see this poster? It says, harden the fuck up. It's one of my things that I say to myself every day. Like you said, every day you got to do something that sucks every day. You got to move into pain willingly because girls are attracted to guys who are developing themselves and not afraid to move into discomfort, which includes approaching girls, even if you are Asian, fat, Indian, bald, whatever your excuses.

35:07 So Mike, tell the boys where they can find you, tell them kind of what you do and how you can possibly help them moving forward. Yeah. So you can find out everything about me. Just go to my website, socialconfidencemastery.com. You can find me on Instagram. Same thing at socialconfidencemastery. I'm finally on TikTok too. That's Social Confidence Mastery. And yeah, check out my podcast as well at Social Confidence Mastery. Specifically, check out the conversation that I had with Mark Singh, which is all about removing limiting belief.

35:38 Because I feel like, I honestly feel like that was one of the best conversations. I've interviewed a lot of people, Mark. Thanks, man. Just like you. And that's one of my favorite interviews. So guys, check out my interview with Mark on my podcast. It's about removing your limiting belief. Appreciate that, brother. Well, as always, you've been an amazing guest. We'll definitely have you on again. And he has a program too. He's pretty humble. He's not talking about it, but he does have a program that helps men with social confidence issues.

36:03 It's the Social Mastery Program. Is that what it's called? What's it called? Yeah. It's all on the website. So just check it out. If it's for you, let me know. A lot of free stuff there. I'm going to do a link in my description to your website. So that'll be there. Go check them out, boys. Great advice. And like I said, real recognizes real. Mike is the real deal. And the confidence and the way you hold yourself, your body language, it is really amazing coming from where you came from.

36:33 So your advice is obviously extremely successful. So boys, thank you so much for listening to this one. I have an awesome one dropping this coming Monday. So please stay tuned for that one and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.