STOP Doing These 15 Things That REPEL Women

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Welcome to another action-packed episode of the UMP. Thank you for joining me. If you've been writing with me for a long time, you know what to do. That's right. Smack yourself on the ass. You are a champion. If this is your first time listening, what we do here is try to give the best information possible in the shortest amount of time.

0:36 And we're going to do that today with Stop Doing These Things That Repel Women. Now, honestly, this is part two of a two-part series, low-value traits you should cook immediately. But here's the interesting thing. When you put part one and part two as a podcast producer, the second part usually gets far less listens than the first part. Why in the hell is that? The information is just as good. So I admit I tricked you a little bit, but I would ask for your forgiveness because I intend to absolutely deliver the goods today.

1:08 Some really important things here that you should drop immediately if you're doing it. And I really want to deliver some good content, so stick around. Before we do that, I want to let you know that I'm giving away my program, The Approach Formula. If you go to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com, you can grab that. Just click the link in the description below and you can go over there, click on the red button on the homepage, and blah, it'll be yours. There's The Approach Formula, how to approach a girl, walk away with her phone number without fear or rejection.

1:40 It's a really cool little program. Would appreciate it if you jumped over there and grabbed it. I'll get your name tattooed right on my neck. All right, guys, without further ado, let's jump into it. First thing I want to talk about is succumbing to peer pressure. Succumbing to peer pressure, letting others sway your opinion. Some of you may not know, but I've never taken a sip of alcohol in my life. And every time I tell girls that, they always get really, really happy about it. They get really impressed.

2:07 Now, you may think otherwise. You may think they may feel threatened or something like that. But when they ask me why I do it, my answer is because I follow my own lead. That's typically what I say. Or I tell a story about how my grandmother was killed when I was a kid by a drunk driver, made the decision not to drink. I was also part of a straight-edge punk rock band. I was a drummer throughout high school and college and a little bit after. So that helped keep me away from drugs.

2:34 But honestly, I just have no interest in drinking or doing drugs. And what I always say is I support the intoxication of others. And between me and you, bro, I support the intoxication of women because a drunk girl is—the correct amount of a drunk girl, I should say, is funner to talk to sometimes. But what's really gross is sometimes they have, like, throwy-uppy breath. Have you ever noticed that? When they're drinking a lot, it kind of smells like puke. Really weird. But anyway, if you succumb to peer pressure easily, that means that you have a weak frame.

3:05 You have a weak sense of reality, a weak sense of who you are. So you got to learn how to say no. Like, no, I'm not interested in doing that. And if they ask you why, you ask them why. Well, why do you want me to do it so bad? Is it to make yourself feel better about doing it? Like, anytime somebody would pressure me to drink or do drugs, I'd be like, nah, dude, I'm good. Like, hey, go ahead and do it. I'm not judging you, bro.

3:26 But for me, I'm good. Well, why not, bro? Like, are you scared or something? The real question is, why are you wanting me to do it so bad? Are you scared of doing it alone and not having me do it because it makes you feel insecure about it? See, that's what you got to do. As an unapologetic, high-value man, you have to be ensconced in your reality, ensconced in your belief system, and not swayed so easily by other people's pressure or other people's opinions. Another thing I notice about low-value guys is they have very wide eyes.

3:59 Which basically means you're afraid. When you're in a fearful environment, your eyes naturally go wide without you really even being able to control it. So what's happening here is they are being affected by the social pressure of the environment, and their eyes are very big. And you guys have probably seen this. And you know what? We all get that initially. When we're in an environment that we're afraid of, particularly in bars and nightclubs, very scary places, you can see it in their eyes. And one of the things that I notice about guys who get really good with women is they almost look like they kind of have sleepy eyes.

4:33 Now, I have a theory about that, which is when you're really relaxed in your environment, it's almost like your eyelids close a little bit. And this is hard to explain, but it's something I pay really close attention to, to high-value men, where they're so comfortable in their environment that it's almost like they don't have to take in as much information because they're not afraid of their environment in a way. Or that they're so relaxed, their eyes are a little bit like kind of half-closed. You know what I'm saying?

5:01 It's kind of like almost like a stoned look, but it's different in the way that they seem completely alert. And they seem totally there, but they're not threatened by their environment. It's very subtle, and we can see it in people's eyes, and women can see this. Obviously, they're not going to be attracted to a guy who's fearful of his environment for a myriad of reasons. I shouldn't even have to explain to you why that is. But they're going to be attracted to a guy who's very comfortable in his environment because he knows he can take care of himself, either physically or, more importantly, socially take care of himself and, thus, take care of her.

5:37 And that's why it's really attractive. So if you have wide eyes and you're scared, what's the best thing to do? Keep going out and practicing. Keep going out in social interactions. The very best thing you can do is go into that which frightens you. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. That's the wisdom behind that great quote. And what that means is if you're afraid of girls, then you've got to go talk to girls. If you're afraid of doctors, you've got to go to the doctor.

6:05 If you're afraid of fill-in-the-blank, that's where you need to start. That's where your freedom is. It's on the other side of your fear. Another thing I see low-value guys do is move out of people's way when they're walking. I notice guys who are very high-value, whether they're big or not or built or not, when they walk, they keep their path. They're not assholes about it, but they keep their path and they walk in that direction. And the person who's, like, lower-value is the one who moves out of the way.

6:33 And you can actually try this. Walk through a crowded space and just hold your line. Have very comfortable body language. Open. Shoulders back. Head up. Almost like a gate where you're, for lack of a better way to explain it, kind of exposing your genitalia in a way where your feet kind of go outward. And you walk very much like a gorilla, like an alpha male gorilla. You can walk through a crowd like that. And even if you're a small guy, people will get out of your way.

7:02 When people get out of your way, it's an attractive thing. And for so many obvious reasons, right? Because you're alpha. You're the alpha gorilla walking through the tribe and people are adjusting their path for you. You're not adjusting your path for them. All right. The next thing is being super agreeable. A lot of times people want conversations to go well. In fact, in the United States, and I don't know how it is in other countries, but in the United States, it's like very important to everybody that we have like good interactions.

7:34 That everybody is agreeable. Everybody leaves having been friends. I want you to flip that and I want you to say to yourself, you know what? It's okay if not everybody likes me. It's okay if I'm disagreeable. It's okay if I'm unapologetic. It's more important to be true to who you are than to try to like fit into everybody else's mold of what they expect from you. In the United States, we're always hoping that the conversation goes well and you see it all the time. Just agreeability like, oh yeah, I know what you mean.

8:04 How you doing? Oh, I'm doing good. How about you? And it's bullshit. What if we're completely real? And what if somebody does something that we don't agree with and we speak up for ourselves? Can you say no? Can you say no to people? Now, here's the thing. When you're willing to do that, when you're willing to be disagreeable, when you're willing to let some conversations go, it's not always going to work out. It's not always going to go perfectly. And you know what? You're okay with that?

8:31 You have freedom. That's where freedom is. And here's the ironic thing. People begin respecting you even more because they know they're getting the real you. Not some contrived, two-faced, disingenuous version of you, but the real you. You're not going to sugarcoat what you say. You're not going to always try to make every conversation go well. And by the way, this is a big reason for approach anxiety, especially in the United States. It's because we're always trying to get agreeable conversations going. So when it goes bad for you and there's an uncomfortable moment, she thinks you're creepy, whatever you're afraid of, we are so trained to go after that agreeable conversation that we don't even want to risk that by approaching girls.

9:13 So I want to suggest to you, be disagreeable. Now I say that once again, you can be cool and be disagreeable. Sometimes I yell at you guys a little bit, but I'm not an asshole and I doubt any of you have ever thought I was. I'm stern, but I'm cool. And that's the way you want to be. That's the way an alpha male is. And that's the kind of guy that attracts women. All right. In bars, I see this all the time. Holding your drink in front of you.

9:40 We call that building walls. Folding your arms in front of you in an insecure kind of way. There's a cool way to fold your arms in front of you. But really like trying to build walls between you and other people shows that you're afraid of your environment. And that's very unattractive to women because once again, a guy who is fearless, especially socially fearless, is the most attractive man that she's looking for. All right. The next one is saying sorry all the time. Shouldn't even have to explain this.

10:09 You want to be unapologetic. Quick caveat. Obviously, if you fuck up, if you do something wrong, it takes a lot of character to say, look, I'm sorry. I apologize. I mean, I do it occasionally. You know, I'm not always unapologetic. I know this is the unapologetic man podcast. But I'm unapologetic about me. When I don't do anything wrong technically, I'm unapologetic about it. I'm unapologetic about being attracted to women. I'm unapologetic to approaching women. I'm unapologetic about having sexuality and having an opinion and being a man and being masculine and loving testosterone and loving working out and loving fighting and all the things that are us as men.

10:51 I'm unapologetic about all that. But, dude, if I run into some guy's car, obviously, I'm going to be like, hey, man, I'm so sorry. I fucking ran into your car. I was doing some donuts in the parking lot, and it got a little bit out of control, and I fishtailed into your BMW. My bad, man. Here, let's exchange insurance information. We'll get this thing care of. Obviously, use your social intelligence. But guys who say sorry all the time for shit that they shouldn't be sorry for, drop that, man.

11:17 Drop that. My nanny does that. We got a new nanny. She's like 23 years old, and I'm doing like a lot of coaching with her. And I'm like, listen, you have to stop saying sorry about every little thing because it makes you look like you're apologizing for your existence, and it makes it look like you don't think you're enough as you are, and you have to, like, apologize through life. It's a very insecure thing to do, so drop it. If you break a glass, if you drop my baby on its head, if you XYZ something very bad, of course you say sorry.

11:49 But don't say sorry because you want to get some water, or don't say sorry because I was doing a podcast, and you didn't know, and you were, like, walking upstairs a little bit loud. You didn't know? It's cool. So there's the dichotomy there. You have to know what you really have to say sorry for and what you don't, and what it all comes down to is are you apologizing for you, or are you apologizing for something legitimately messed up that you did? Should be pretty obvious to you guys.

12:17 All right, letting people walk all over you, being a floor mat, don't even need to explain that more. Wearing clothes that you got from Walmart. One thing that's really funny to me is the Green Berets say, what is the first rule of being a Green Beret? Look cool. What's the second rule? Never get lost. What's the third rule? If you get lost, refer back to rule number one, which is kind of funny because we all like to look cool, right? And I'm really into, like, military history, and one thing that strikes me is a lot of the nations looked really cool in their uniforms.

12:52 Like, if you think about World War II paratrooper, those guys look pretty fucking dope. Even the Germans had some cool-looking outfits that you can look at and be like, damn, dude, that camouflage looks sick. Or even their World War II planes, like the Messerschmitt BF-109, that thing is sick looking. So looking cool and having, like, cool clothes, a cool style, a cool haircut. I personally like to work out because I like to have a cool-looking body. That, to me, it's almost like riding a cool-looking motorcycle that I get to take with me wherever I go.

13:23 I think looking cool is pretty important. Now, do looks matter with girls? Not really. It kind of gets your foot in the door when you look cool and you have good style. And it's sometimes a little bit important to women. It gets in your foot in the door. That's all I'm going to say for now. But I think wearing low-value clothes, like clothes you get at Walmart, right? Like the old wolf howling at the moon t-shirt tucked into some stonewashed jeans with a brown belt and tennis shoes.

13:51 That's what I'm talking about. If you do those kinds of things, if your style needs some help, then what you want to do is dress like the guys who are getting the women that you want to get. Okay? I'm just going to leave it at that. It warrants a future podcast episode, but that's what I'm going to want to get. What's the first rule of being an unapologetic man? Look cool. All right. Picking at your fingernails. Like a lot of guys will stand there and with their right hand, they'll be picking at their left hand, their fingernails.

14:17 It's a really low-value thing. Once again, when we're nervous in our environment, we get spazzy energy. And that spazzy energy wants to come out in different ways. Some of the ways we do that is picking our fingernails. In addition to that, pulling out our cell phone all the time and looking at it. I remember, actually, this was pretty recently. I was, there was a guy talking to a girl. And I kind of knew her. I'd met her before. And she's attracted to me. And I went up and I was like, hey, you, what's up?

14:44 And she's like, hey. And she turns away from her friend, starts talking to me. And out of the corner of my eyes, just see this guy pull out his cell phone and just like start like texting or doing something. And that's because he had so much social pressure that he didn't know how to deal with that he went for the one thing that brings him comfort and it's his cell phone. So if you're always pulling out your cell phone in uncomfortable social situations, try to stop that.

15:08 Try to put more social pressure on yourself. Stop running from the social pressure. And by the way, this could be a huge tangent that I'm not going to let myself go down. But I just want to say this. Don't let yourself always get on the cell phone because you're doing dopamine hits, man. You're just searching for dopamine after dopamine. Try to be in the present moment. Wake up. Look around. I literally hide my cell phone from myself for like most of the day just because most people are missing fucking life.

15:36 I think that's an extremely, extremely low value trait. All right. Another thing a lot of guys do, and I did this myself, is trying to make a cool face when you look in the mirror. Or like when you look in the mirror, you suck in your gut and you flex and you stand a certain way. If you can't just be completely relaxed while you look in the mirror, that's something you should work on. You should look in the mirror, accept your belly fat, accept your face, accept your big nose, accept your skinny face and your weird looking haircut.

16:05 Accept it. You can work on it. But if you accept it now, then your acceptance of it is going to be more attractive even if you get it fixed. So me, for example, okay, I kind of have a skinny face with a big nose. I could go get a bunch of surgery on that. But better is to just accept it. When I completely accept it, girls don't even notice. I have asked hundreds of girls, like after the fact, you know, did you ever notice I've kind of got a big nose and like a skinny face and I kind of look a little weird, like from the side?

16:36 Check this out. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, I guess you do. But I didn't even notice. Why didn't they notice? Because I accept it. I'm confident in it. Therefore, they're confident in it, too. It's almost like you can bend reality with that which you accept. Now, once again, there's a dichotomy to this. You should always be working on yourself. For example, if you have the gut, I strongly suggest you work on that. But accepting it first is the biggest key to attracting women. Because if you can't accept yourself now, my friend, you will never be able to accept yourself.

17:12 I don't give a shit how many situations change in your life. And by the way, it's the true thing with happiness, too. If you're not happy now, nothing, and I mean nothing, will make you happy in the future. So what's the secret? Get happy first. Then the freaking circumstances change to reflect that happiness. All right, next one is breaking eye contact with girls first. You bastards. If any single one of you in the unapologetic man army break eye contact with a girl first, I will draw, quarter you, and unceremoniously launch you out of the city from a fucking catapult.

17:49 Do not break eye contact first. And if you're afraid of holding eye contact with a girl, just look between her eyes and just wait until she looks away. Never break eye contact first. God damn it. You better not do that. All right, guys who say things like this. Did you want to go here or, right, that little or at the end, dot, dot, dot, drop it if you do that. All right, next up is boring conversations. Obviously, what do girls want to have? What's that old song say?

18:19 Girls just want to have fun, right? So true. Girls want to have fun. So if you're bringing her boring conversations, you're messing up, bro. Super low value trait. How do you get more interesting conversations? Well, listen to my content. Or if you're really smart, if you're really smart, you'd know you're dumb. But if you're really smart, you would get some coaching with me. Check me out. Not only can you grab that free program, the Approach Formula, but you can check out my coaching offer as well.

18:50 Tons of testimonials on there that show the efficacy of what I do. And one of the things I do is teach you how to talk to a girl in a way that gets her having fun, that builds attraction. I have all kinds of gambits, tricks, techniques, all kinds of shit that I share with my clients, and it gets them amazing results. So boring conversations, definitely stop doing that because it repels women. And finally, the last one. Look at that, dude. I landed right at 20 minutes. Yes.

19:20 I was like, man, I got a lot to get through to get through the 20 minutes, dog. Go. All right. Over the top adjusting of all these things. Here's the conundrum. I just listed off in the last two episodes tons, probably about 30 low value traits you should cook immediately. And now you're saying to yourself, okay, dude, I can't do all these things. And now what are you going to do? You're going to be totally overanalyzing, wondering if you're doing these things, trying to prevent yourself from doing these things.

19:48 And then what happens? You do over the top adjusting, which makes you look what? Uncomfortable. Makes you look insecure, incongruent. So this is a huge conundrum, isn't it? I'm not allowed to do all these things. Yet if I try to prevent myself from doing all these things, then that's going to be a bad thing in itself. So I'm fucked no matter what I do. That's not true. How do you fix all this? You work on yourself. Whether or not it's with coaching with me, it doesn't matter.

20:15 Get some other coach. Todd V, Dan Bacon or whatever his name is, RSD, Real Social Dynamics. I don't care. Marnie Wingirl, my buddy John Anthony. Go, dude. Go get lessons from them. I think you guys should get coaching from everybody. Don't just listen to my podcast. Listen to tons of podcasts. There's tons of good ones out there. And if I'm not the right coach for you, go get coaching with somebody else. But here's the thing. You cannot just turn all these things off because you know about them.

20:44 You have to turn them off by working on yourself. And almost like you stop eating all the Snickers bars when you start eating more apples. You know what I mean? You replace it with something else. You don't just stop it. How do you replace it with somebody else? By getting the internal shit corrected, the outside shit will take care of itself. So really, me naming off all this stuff, and honestly, it was a little bit of a masturbation station kind of lesson. Like, okay, you listed off all these things.

21:12 What does that do for me? Well, awareness alone is curative. So some of these things you'll just stop doing because you know that, oh, that's bad. I'll just stop doing it. But in addition to that, the real thing you have to do is work on yourself, which a lot of you guys are doing. A lot of you guys are doing. Now, in my opinion, getting a coach, especially a coach like me who uses neuro-linguistic programming, we could fucking reprogram you like that, and you're going to just stop.

21:35 You're going to start dropping tons of stuff you didn't even know that you were doing. So a lot of these mannerisms and actions and stuff, they just come from a place of insecurity. Once you remove the insecurity, those things go away along with it. See how that works? So if you are interested in getting some coaching, check me out, CoachMarkSingh.com. As I mentioned in my previous podcast, that is a new website. I got some awesome blog posts on there that have videos in them with me in there, as well as that free program, The Approach Formula.

22:05 And you can check out coaching with me. And if you ever have any questions, don't be a stranger, bro. I love hearing from my listeners. Hit me up. There is a contact page there. We'd love to hear from you. And because I'm a nice fella, I'll probably send you some good shit. So anyway, guys, I do appreciate you listening. On Wednesday and Friday, I'm going to come with a roundhouse kick to the jaw of your thirst for knowledge. And I'm going to keep dropping some excellent podcast episodes.

22:31 So please stay tuned. Please subscribe. And if you want to give me a review, I will get your name tattooed on my neck. And songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come. Once again, guys, thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.