The #1 Mistake Guys Make With Women THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT!

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. My job here is to put the glimmer in your eye, the bounce in your step, the pop in your giddy-up, and the twinkle in your smile. And that's what I'm going to do today by speaking about the number one mistake men make that no one really talks about.

0:36 I've never heard any seduction coach talk about this because it's a pretty subtle thing, at least at first blush. But when you really watch people, it becomes pretty damn obvious why a lot of guys chase away women, why they look too thirsty and ultimately too excited, and why that's extremely unattractive to women. So you'll probably see this in yourself because God knows I've done this, I mean, so many times. It's really unconscious and it's really difficult to detect in yourself. But once you hear this, I really think it's going to help a lot of you guys kind of manage, you know, your energy levels when you're speaking to women, how enthusiastic you are, how happy you are to finally be talking to that cute little girl, and we're going to talk about, A, of all, why that happens, B, why it's extremely unattractive, and C, how to fix that moving forward.

1:23 Before I jump into the content, had a guy ask me about a previous podcast episode where I talked about AMA, Monster Energy Supercross, and he's like, are you, like, sponsored by them now or something? And I'm not. I'm not whatsoever. The reason I talked about it is because I absolutely love it, I believe in it, and I want to grow the sport. So to reiterate what I said, and no, I'm not getting paid one red penny for this, this is just from the kindness of my own heart and the love for a sport that I think is vastly underrated, doesn't get enough viewers, is on Peacock TV, you can go watch Monster Energy Supercross.

1:58 As of the release of this podcast, I believe there will be six races already on there, and then you can watch new ones each Saturday night. There's 14 rounds, I believe, and I'm going to be at the Denver Supercross. If you watch it, you'll know that I'll be there. So I want to say another thing, too, is I don't allow advertisers on this podcast for a number of reasons. First of all, I hate it when I'm listening to a podcast and all I hear is advertisements. It's extremely frustrating, especially when it's just on and on and on.

2:26 You hear that all the time with podcasts. Well, when a podcast gets big like this one, and this is in the top 1% worldwide, by the way, I get a lot of people hitting me up for advertising. I don't do it because I don't want to ruin your listener experience, but also, and I'm going to be straight up with you, because I advertise my own coaching program on here. That is working extremely well. It's been extremely lucrative. I'm helping tons of guys, which is my purpose here.

2:51 So why would I advertise somebody else's product? And I get hit up all the time. So if you're an advertiser listening, don't even bother. Don't write me. It would take a fucking miracle for me to advertise anything on here outside of what I do because it's my purpose. I believe in it. I love it. It's why I'm here. It's really a big reason I do this podcast. So if you are that advertiser listening, no hard feelings, but go elsewhere. The only thing I will ever advertise, probably, depends what happens in the future, is my three-month coaching program.

3:22 And if you're listening, you may also wonder why I talk about it on every single damn episode. Some of you guys are so fucking sick of hearing it. Well, most listeners cherry-pick episodes, and they just pick what they want to listen to. So I have to dump it into every episode because, A of all, I want every guy to hear it. And, B of all, most people have to hear it three to five, ten different times before they'll ever sign up. So if you've heard it three times and you need that one more time to finally sign up with me, I do give a free one-on-one breakthrough session where you and I talk about your issues with women, how we can get you there in the quickest way possible.

3:57 And if you're a good fit for my three-month coaching program, we get on Zoom together. It's about 30 minutes. We just chat it up and see if you're a good fit. And I am the only dating coach who uses NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, to reprogram the bullshit in your head. Belief systems like, I'm not enough. Sex is wrong. You shouldn't bother people. Don't approach women. Hot girls are too good for me. Why would she want to be with me when she could be with a better guy?

4:22 Money matters to women. All these false bullshit belief systems that are telegraphed in your body language and tonality and making you way too thirsty with women and making you unattractive, which we're going to talk about today. Go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com. Click on coaching. Fill in the short application and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together. All right, boys. So what is this thing I'm talking about? Well, when you see a hot girl, and once again, I've never heard any other pickup artists talk about this, and it's so important and so underrated.

4:53 When you see a hot girl, there's something released in your brain. I don't know the exact chemical, but it makes you feel really good. It makes you really, really happy. Now, a lot of times when I watch a guy who's inexperienced with attractive women, that happiness is totally telegraphed on his face. He has a big ear-to-ear smile on his face, nothing but teeth glimmering in the sunshine, like a diamond in the middle of the desert. He's got the pop in his giddy-up, the glimmer in his eye.

5:21 It's like all his Christmases and birthdays have come on the same day. What does that telegraph to her? That telegraphs essentially that she has a higher value than he does, and he feels, and she senses this unconsciously, that she is more valuable than he is. Okay, so do you think that's going to be attractive or unattractive to her? Obviously, it's going to be unattractive. So what I always tell my boys is, listen, you can be happy, but what we work within is what I call the 80-100 rule.

5:52 Okay, the 80-100 rule is this gangster-ass rule that I thought of probably like 10 years ago when I really started to understand male-to-female dynamics, how love works, how attraction works, where we give her 80% of what she gives us. So a very simple example is, if she gives you 10 compliments, you give her eight. She wants to text 10 times a day. If you feel like it, you text her about eight times a day. You generally give her 80%. Well, this works into also the enthusiasm and smiling and happiness and excitement that she's showing in the first conversation.

6:27 You want to land right about 80% of where she's landing. Now that begs the question, why 80%? Well, if you go above 80%, which most guys do, most guys are like, honestly, I see it all the time, guys. I see this. I've been in fucking nightclubs. I've logged tens of thousands of hours in nightclubs, bars, day game, everything. Okay. Most guys, I'm talking like 90% of guys, it's insane, are way overbearing when it comes to the amount of excitement they're showing the girl. It's like 150%, 200% of what she's showing and immediately she gets turned off.

7:01 They never get the phone number. They blow him out. They reject him, say they have a boyfriend, whatever it may be, because he's too fucking excited. And that telegraphs to her that he's not high value. He's not used to talking to attractive women. He's not used to getting success because if he was used to it, that dopamine hit, serotonin, whatever it is that makes him so happy, he wouldn't be so affected by it. So seeing this all the time, I've come up with that 80-100 rule, which is give her 80% of what she gives.

7:32 Now that begs the question, well, what if she's a canyon mule and I only want to give her 50% because I'm really not that fired up to talk to her. That's fine, but be advised that women also need a certain amount of attention in order to stick around. Think about it like this. If you're talking to a girl, you're super interested in her and she's super ho-hum about you. Isn't it true that after a certain amount of time, you're going to kind of just give up and be like, well, she doesn't really like me anyway, so I'm going to dig out and go talk to another girl.

8:01 Of course, that's what you do. So what we have to understand is we still need to give her some compliments, attention, smiles, happiness, wanting to show her that we want to be there talking to her. But we only give it to about 80% of what she gives because, like I said, and like I see all the time, when we do too much of it, it makes us unattractive. And this, as I mentioned as well, is quite unconscious. Guys cannot help it. And you'll see it. Now, be careful not to judge those guys who you see this in because your ego is going to want to feel superior to them.

8:36 Watch out for that. That's a big pitfall that a lot of people fall into when they start developing in themselves. So watch out for that pitfall. But when you see it, think to yourself, okay, what is being telegraphed to this girl? Okay, this guy's super excited. He's leaning in. He's smiling. He's laughing harder than she is or like trying to laugh hard so she can laugh more. That's telegraphing. He's not used to it. He's low value. He's being super affected by it because that dopamine hit is unfamiliar to him.

9:06 Why is it unfamiliar to him? Because he's essentially unattractive and he doesn't get the opportunity to talk to hot chicks like this. So right about 80% is where we want to land with what I call pulls. And I've mentioned this many times on this podcast where you pull her into you, which is statements of interest, wanting to hang out with her, texting her back, giving her compliments and even smiling. Okay. So when I'm speaking to a woman, I'm very cognizant of how interested she is in me and I'm either 80% or less.

9:40 Now, do I try to force it? If I'm like 50%, right? She's a fucking mountain troll and I'm like not really into it. Do I try to force it and pretend I'm into her? No. I'm always just myself. If I'm not into it, I'm not into it. But always, if I'm more into it than she is, like you meet this fucking goddess and you can't help it sometimes. You're just pumped, right? Like there's nothing better than talking to a hot girl, especially when you're flirting with her.

10:05 Oh my hell. It's the best boys. And a lot of you know what I'm talking about. And that's why like I'm just beside myself that more guys don't join my coaching program. I have a 95% success rate with my boys who go through three months of this coaching program and get the fucking ability to attract women at will where they can have that experience literally anytime they want. I'm just like so shocked because I know the number of downloads I get. I know how many subscribers I have.

10:32 And then I see how many coaching applications I get each month. And don't get me wrong. There's a fuck ton of them coming in. I'm extremely blessed, extremely successful. But the fact that every single one of you guys doesn't apply is just like sometimes I just like smack my head, the Jesus forehead slap where you're just like, what the fuck are these guys thinking? Why wouldn't they want that power? Because it's the best, dude. It's the best where you just have a hot chick who's flirting with you and just like talking sexually to you and touching you.

11:01 And like, you know, you're going to have sex with her and you've never seen her naked before, but you've like pictured it. It's the best. It's the best. So look, we all get excited. Even I do. But you have to fucking control that red helmeted warrior in your pants. And say, no, little fella, stand down, soldier. It's time for me to take control and mentally control myself. This is called inner game. And this is part of what I do with NLP is I make you feel like a 10.

11:29 So if you feel like a 10 and you're talking to what you think is a 10, no longer will you telegraph behavior that shows you don't think you're enough for her by smiling, leaning in, laughing really hard. You're going to be pretty calm. Look at Dan Bilzerian. Picture him in your head. Most of you guys know who he is. Do you see him smiling or do you see just a regular kind of resting face on his face? You probably see him just chill, right? He's not super big smiling.

11:55 He's very calm. And this dude has girls around him all the time. So when he talks to a girl, he's not affected by her hotness. That communicates to her that he's used to being around hot chicks. So he's high value. A guy who has lots of women in his life, who has had lots of experiences, who has gotten more ass than the toilet seat, isn't going to be so excited. Now, if he's good with women, and I know he is, he's smart because he'll still give them some attention.

12:23 And I guarantee you, check this out. He has like 20 girls in his harem at any given time. One time I heard, I follow him because he really fascinates me. One time I heard he was like dating like 55 chicks. I feel sorry for him, man. Because I've been dating, I think at the most at one time was like six girls and it's a fucking full-time job. So anyway, this dude is dating 55 chicks. I guarantee you, and listen very carefully, he makes every single girl feel like she's number one.

12:50 Now, again, we can go too far on either extreme. We can either give her too much attention or not enough attention, which a lot of you guys are guilty of as well. And that's why that 8,100 rule comes in. But Dan Bilzerian, when he's talking to these girls, he's not like fucking super stoked because it's like the best thing that ever happened to him. He's very chill and his smile, his laughter, his compliments, his attention must be earned. Must be earned. Going back to my frame control as well as how to get a girl to chase you episodes, you are in control of your own frame.

13:25 If she says something that's not funny, you simply don't laugh. If she says something you don't agree with, you're not afraid to be disagreeable with her. If she says something that insults you, you flip the tables on her because you are proud of yourself, you know you're a fucking champion, you know you're a 10, you are your own hero. So if she makes fun of you for wearing like a pink shirt, you'd be like, dude, what are you talking about? You are not cool unless you rock the pink shirt look.

13:50 You're obviously very behind with fashion, but you'll catch up soon enough. Don't worry. Don't get insecure. You'll get there. That's kind of like the answer that a high value guy would give. Guarantee you Dan Bilzerian does it to all the chicks. But at the same time, and here comes the 8,100 rule, he gives her 80% of the attention she's giving him. He lets her know like, yeah, I'm talking to other girls. Yeah, I'm even dating other girls, but I don't know. There's just something about you that kind of has my attention.

14:17 There's something about you that, I don't know, kind of fucks with me a little bit. You know, I was thinking about you yesterday. Don't let it get to your head, Ashley. Relax. But I'm going to admit to you, I was kind of thinking about you yesterday, and there's this one thing you do that's so cute, but I don't want to tell you what it is because then you'll stop doing it. Okay, that's like a line I'll use a lot of times to build that intrigue, make her feel like she's really like the number one girl.

14:42 Because again, if you're too excited, that's one thing. But if you're not excited enough, that's another thing. It's that balance. Now, most guys, and this is the title of the podcast, err on the side of being too fired up, like too smiley and intoxicated by her beauty. Very rarely do I see a dude who doesn't give enough. But if you had the error on the side of one extreme, which one do you think you should err on? Correct. It's always erroring on the side of not giving her as much as she wants.

15:11 Now, 80% is exactly where you want to be in all facets. But if you happen to land at 60%, 50%, it's better than landing at like 150%. What will happen, I'm going to test you here, what will happen if you give her 50% of what she wants? You're right. She's going to get butthurt. She's going to start getting emotional and maybe even hit you up about it and be like, so what are we? Or she might start ghosting you, which happens too. That's why that 80% is perfect. So here's your homework, okay?

15:42 Next time you talk to a girl, like really focus on how excited you are, be chill and let the conversation dictate your reaction and come from a place, a frame where your favor must be earned, your laughter must be earned, your compliments must be earned, your attraction must be earned. Listen to that. Your attraction must be earned via the conversation, via who she is as a person, via her morality, her attitudes, her character, her integrity. What does she have? What is she bringing to the table?

16:16 Guys get so pumped to be talking to girls simply because they're hot. As I always say, I almost say it like every episode because I need to get it through your guys' skull. Just because she's hot, that doesn't mean she's won the game. It's one check mark off of 10 different boxes of different things that you're looking for. So really watch yourself though. And you ask, well, how much should I give her? I just told you, 80%. So she's laughing and smiling. You can throw some smiles in there.

16:42 In fact, you should, as I told you. But don't go to the extreme. And this is the number one thing that most guys do wrong. They're just too fucking pumped to be talking to these girls. They're too reactive. They're too excited. It's so, like you can picture it, right? Like get in the mind space with me. You're in a nightclub and you see a guy talking to a girl. You can see that grin on his face, man, the glimmer in his eye. And then he like walks out of the nightclub and does that thing where he jumps in the air and clicks his two heels together.

17:09 Dude, he's so pumped, bro. Especially if it gets a phone number and you're just like forehead slap. That guy will never get a text back, right? It's like the old movie when the dude kisses the girl and then she goes inside and he's like, yes, yes, he's celebrating. And then she's like watching him from out the window. Not good, my friends. Not good. Unless, now I hope you know what I'm going to say here. Where would that be good? It's unless she's that excited. If she's that much more excited than he is, like 100% and he's about 80% celebrating, that's perfect.

17:42 And this is where you have really good interactions between men and women, where she's really into it, the dude's pretty into it, and that's where it lands. Now, to wrap this up, why should the guy want less than the girl? Why is that exactly? Well, the reason is, is because it's important that the man leads the sexual interaction. In a romantical exchange between a man and a woman, it's absolutely essential that the man leads. Now, let me ask you, the person who leads has the most what?

18:14 Starts with P and ends with our. That's right, power. Okay, I don't really like the word power because it's kind of misconstrued. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here. All it means is you're leading. You have the frame. You are the one who is in command. And listen to this. The one who's in command is always the one who wants less. The one who has the power, quote unquote, although that's not a great word, it would more be like social clout or social persuasiveness or even social value.

18:45 The one who has the highest social value is the one who wants less, right? Think about that for a minute. Maybe after you listen to this, really contemplate it, kind of meditate on it. The person who wants less in any relationship is always the one who's in power. Therefore, we have to want less than the girl wants in order to keep her attracted because she's only going to be attracted to you when you have that. Let's not call it power. Let's call it social persuasion or social weight or social value, whatever you want to label it as.

19:14 It's essential that you have that. And that's what happens when dudes are super stoked is they're giving away the power. Can you see why that is? Because they have more invested. They're putting more energy into it. They're giving her the frame. They're super pumped, super excited. She's like, ew, this is unattractive because you have to want less. The person who wants less is in power. The person who wants less is in the masculine role, thereby putting her in the feminine role, she can follow you, and you're giving her enough to keep her interested, but not too much to push her away.

19:43 And she always wants more. It's the 8100 rule. Super important. All right, brothers. I hope this episode has put the pop in your giddy up, the glimmer in your eye, the sparkle in your teeth. I hope it's chirpened up your vibrant, whatever the fuck that meant. And I hope it's made your day better and really given you an understanding of how you should behave the next time you speak to a woman. If you want to master this, if you want to get that experience where you're talking to a goddamn goddess and she's flirting with you and whispering in your ear about how she's going to suck your dick and how she's going to fuck you so good that night and make you feel like the fucking legend that you are.

20:17 If you want that skill, I could give it to you, man. I could straight up give it to you. I do it all the time. It's my purpose here. And I'm very fucking good at what I do. So why wouldn't you do it? Why wouldn't you get on that call with me? It just boggles my mind. But for you guys who don't do it, it's cool. I won't ever understand why not. But for those of you who are ready to get on that call with me and talk about coming into my program for three months to invest five hours a week into this and leave with the skill set to literally get girls attracted to you on command so that you can have what I call sexual choice.

20:53 Click on coaching. I actually just put a bunch of new reviews up there. They just keep coming in. I can hardly handle how many I have. I have 80 plus on there, I believe, as of now. And they're just going to keep growing and growing because I get results from my boys. There's just no way to sugarcoat it. It's the absolute truth. And I'm very fucking proud of what I'm doing. And I want to coach you, man. I want to meet you. If you relate to me, you like my content.

21:16 Well, I know I'll relate to and like you too. So sign up, coachmarkstein.com, slap coaching, fill in the goddamn slapping the Jesus, and you and I will get, get, get, get, get, get, get on that call together. All right, gentlemen, I got another awesome one dropping on Monday. So stay tuned for that one. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.