The 3 Biggest Mistakes You MUST AVOID When Talking to Women

0:00 The moment Mark Sing realized that teaching English in Japan was completely and utterly hopeless. Daisuke, do you like soccer? Yes, I don't. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you champions? Thank you for tuning in to yet another groundbreaking episode of the UMP. And we're going to talk today about the three biggest mistakes you have to absolutely avoid when talking to women. I was out the other night, and I saw this guy talking to this girl, and he was making all these mistakes.

0:47 And of course, she politely excused herself because these kinds of things telegraph low value. They telegraph you're not comfortable with women. They telegraph that you're not attractive, and doing these things is something that probably a lot of you guys do, and something that you need to really watch out for because these are attraction killers. Gentlemen, before I get into the content, I know I usually tout my three-month coaching program. I ask you guys for reviews. I ask you to go follow my Instagram page, which, by the way, has already gone up to 27,000 followers.

1:22 And I only asked you guys to follow it about three months ago. So I really do appreciate you guys who are following me there. I drop content on there every single day, small, short snippets that are essentially small versions of podcasts that I put on there that you guys can really learn from. I'm getting tons of views. The other day, I got like 36,000 views on a single video, which I thought was pretty cool. You know, I'm just trying to break into those kinds of social media platforms.

1:47 My podcast is absolutely massive, but everywhere else, I kind of was slackluster because I simply wasn't doing it. I was just doing my podcast for years because it was working so damn well. I was like, meh, who needs Instagram? Who needs anything else? But it's important that I get on there because I want to reach more people. I want to get people with this positive message. But the thing that I actually want to announce is for you guys to come next Monday to listen to my episode that I'm dropping then.

2:14 It's an NLP-based episode about why we self-sabotage, why we do things like self-sabotage when it comes to women, why we do things like self-sabotage when it comes to money. And this is a really, really interesting episode that I want you guys to tune into. And I'm basing it on this writer, this Supercross slash motocross writer named Austin Forkner. You guys who follow Supercross, you know exactly who I'm talking about. He's the dude with the super banging wife. And it was funny, he was interviewed once and the interviewer's like, dude, how'd you pull that girl?

2:46 And he's like, I don't know. He didn't know how he pulled her. Well, being a really good Supercross writer definitely helps. But what happens to this dude is he constantly crashes. Almost every single season, he gets in some catastrophic crash where he blows out his ACL, fucking tears out his shoulder. His head comes off his fucking body. Whatever it is, he's always self-sabotaging. And I think I know why he does this. I really do. I would love to coach the dude if I ever have the opportunity.

3:13 But a lot of guys do this with females. They self-sabotage and or they're attracted to a certain kind of female who isn't compatible. Or as I often say is akin to Hurricane Amy and Amy comes into their lives and blows out their entire lifestyle like the roof getting ripped off your fucking home when a hurricane comes through. And a lot of that is self-sabotage that's created because what I'm going to talk about on Monday. So I'm really urging you guys to come back, check out that content.

3:40 I really think it's going to be a game changer. But today we are going to talk about the three biggest mistakes that guys make when speaking to women. And boys, I always over deliver. So I have four written down and I'll probably get to five or six knowing me and the way I love to ramble and how I get ideas when I start talking about these kinds of things. So let's go ahead and jump into it. The first biggest mistake to avoid when speaking to girls is to monitor yourself, monitor your body language, monitor your tone of voice, monitor how your clothes are fitting, monitor how you stand.

4:13 Now, this is one of the biggest issues that happens to guys just like you. Yes, brother, you listen to this podcast. Why? Because you're listening to this podcast. You're cognizant of and you're attempting to become more attractive to women. So you know that you have to have good body language. You know that you have to maintain a certain amount of eye contact. You know that you have to look like you don't give a shit, have dismissive body language, be really calm and relaxed. And what happens?

4:41 When you try to be relaxed, you're not relaxed. You're tense. You're monitoring yourself. You're doing such things as pulling up your sleeves to show more biceps or leaning back in an awkward way because you know you're supposed to be leaning back. So one of the biggest problems I see is guys trying too hard not to try hard. And this is one of the hardest things to teach that is only remedied by, guess what? That's right, experience. The only way that this is remedied is if you're constantly out there talking to girls and you have more women than you can deal with.

5:15 When you have more women than you can deal with, and that's even just talking to girls off the dating apps, cold approach, and what I call top of funnel ideas, fill in the top of your pipeline with tons and tons of chicks. When you're doing that, you no longer give a shit what happens with this girl. I talked about it in a recent episode where if you walk into a party, a nightclub, a supermarket, and your dick is literally hurting because you've had so much sex, and your phone is literally overheating because you're getting so many damn text messages from all these chicks that your cell phone overheats and burns a hole in your fucking pocket, that's when you don't give a shit about what happens.

5:50 And that's when your body language is correct. So oftentimes, guys like you, yes, brother, I'm talking about you, are driving along in their truck or working out or on the Stairmaster trying to get down their badonkadonk butt, and they have a lot of theory, but they hardly ever go out and practice it. And if they do practice it, it's few and far between. So what are you going to be when you're talking to a girl? You're going to be uncomfortable. You're going to be monitoring yourself.

6:15 You're going to be feeling the shirt rubbing on your body fat, and you just want to pull it off a little bit so she doesn't notice it. Or you feel like you got a damn Taco Bell bean stuck on your lateral incisor, and you kind of don't smile because you're worried about food in your teeth. Or you're insecure about being bald, being short, being fat, and you try to cover it up in some weird, awkward way where she can feel that from you. So the best thing you can do when you go to talk to girls is not give a shit about what happens and actually try to do the opposite of monitor yourself.

6:52 Let it all go. Forget everything you heard in this podcast. And I know that sounds crazy because I'm teaching you what to do. But once you get into set, you fall back on your training. What happens when you've been training jujitsu or Muay Thai or boxing or wrestling or, God forbid, kung fu your whole life? What happens when you get into a fight is you're going to fall back on your training. You're going to forget about everything and just go with those base fundamental moves that you've been doing over and over again.

7:22 I personally think being a blue belt in Brazilian jujitsu, if I get into a fight, I am going to have so much adrenaline dumped through my body, I am going to fall back on being like a two-stripe white belt. And I'll just do very basic moves. I'll like get mount and then maybe I'll like transition to his back and like choke him out. That's very simple. I've done it a million times. And because I've done it a million times, I can fall back on that. Let's take that into women.

7:47 Have you done that a million times talking to girls? Probably not. A lot of you guys have done it less times than you can count on two hands and fewer of you have done it even up to 100 times. So if you've talked to girls 24 times in your entire life, how comfortable are you going to be? You know you have to be comfortable. You know you have to behave as if you are dating four girls. You know you have to literally not give a shit as if your dick hurts and you don't want sex.

8:14 But how do you emulate that? How do you pretend to be that if you're not really that? The only way to hack the system is to be talking to as many girls as possible. And yes, even if you come into my program where, and I just got an application like this, the guy's 34 years old, never kissed a girl. A virgin, obviously, if he's never kissed a girl, never even touched a girl's hand. Because of situations that happened in his childhood, he has massive approach anxiety, meta programs that his parents gave him that are running in his head that just prevent him from doing this shit.

8:47 I will get that guy laid within several weeks. How? I am going to do systematic exposure to him. We are going to have him talking to girls from the fucking get-go. I will have that guy talking to girls. I will get him as many reps under his belt as possible so that when he gets into set, he's relaxed. It's no big deal. Here's the thought experiment, brother. If you go out for the next week, that's seven days, and every single day you talk to 20 girls, not trying to hit on them, not trying to get anything from them, not doing anything, just talking, within seven days you will have opened about 140 girls.

9:23 You are going to be infinitely more comfortable in front of them, thus getting more attraction. Just that easy. Now, in my program, fortunately, there's a heavy factor of accountability. I am holding you accountable to talk to a minimum of 20 girls per week, and I'm going to show you how to get them, where to get them, and how to be in the alpha role so that they're the ones who are uncomfortable. Imagine that where you've been talking to so many girls. It's like, so what? You're hot.

9:50 Who cares? You have an angelic face. That doesn't affect me. I'm totally normal. Let me ask you this. Another thought experiment. Do you think it's a good or a bad thing to blow your nose in front of a girl? You're talking to her, and you freaking rip out some Kleenex, and you just blow snot right into it. You're launching a snot rocket into that Kleenex, and then you throw it into the trash and hit a swish. Do you think that's a good or a bad thing?

10:15 Now, a lot of you may be inclined to be like, oh, that's a bad thing. It's disgusting. It's actually a good thing. Why? Because you're showing her you don't give a shit about what she thinks. You're willing to be comfortable. Now, obviously, boys, there's a limit to how much you want to do. You don't want to throw your leg up on her shoulder and fucking fart in her face. But doing things that show women that you don't really give a shit about what they think is massively attractive, such as grabbing the fat on your stomach and saying, yeah, I like how I'm kind of gaining weight.

10:43 It's keeping me warm during these freezing-ass winter months. Shows her you don't give a shit. So the worst thing you can do, number one, is monitor yourself. Like I said, when you get into set, forget about everything. You're going to fall back on your training. You'll remember what's important. And the more you are in set, which means talking to girls, the more you're going to have access to those things that I've taught you and be able to actually use them. Because when you first go in, when you haven't had a lot of experience, when you're one of the many dudes who listen to this podcast who has opened less than like 50 girls, you're going to be uncomfortable.

11:18 So the way to circumvent that, the way to hack the system, is to just talk, talk, talk to as many girls as possible, not hitting on them, just talking to them. And the not hitting on them part, I'm going to get to in a minute, so stay tuned until the very end. Number two is obvious. Complimenting girls too soon. If you listen to my recent podcast where I discuss the 8100 rule, where I talk about how to monitor the amount of times you compliment a girl, I want to ask you something.

11:46 When do you compliment a girl for the first time? Do you do it right off the bat? Do you try to earn her endearment by saying how awesome she is, how pretty she is, what a great conversationalist she is, or how good her badminton game is? Fuck no. Do not compliment women until they start complimenting you. That's the base rule that I'm putting to you right now. So many guys go in and just start throwing compliments because why? They think that's going to earn her endearment.

12:13 They think it's going to make her like him more than she actually will, but it actually has the opposite effect. Because she can tell that you're trying to get something from her, and she's thinking to herself, he must be low value if he gives people credit this easily. Think about that one. Think about a low value dude. He's agreeable. He wants to get into rapport with people. He's trying to manipulate, which is interesting. He's trying to manipulate you to like him. How does he do it?

12:41 Blowing smoke up your ass. Fluffing your feathers. Telling you're the greatest thing ever. Telling you you're good looking. Telling you whatever it may be to get you to like him. So because of that, don't compliment. Base rule, boys. Very fucking simple. Shut your goddamn pie hole when you want to tell her how fucking hot her face is. How perfect her outfit is. Like, God, you're so beautiful and I'm so excited about it. Which many guys will do. Because look at this. You get excited when you see a hot chick.

13:11 Why is that? When you see an attractive woman, there is actually dopamine that's released in your head. It feels good. And this, boys, is why we can't help ourselves when we see a really hot girl. We're just like, fuck, I have to look. You ever been with your girlfriend before and this banger walks by, this fucking honey dip. And you're like, oh my God, I want to look so bad. I can't help it. I can't help it. And you just look. It is literally like you cannot help yourself because you're constantly seeking dopamine.

13:36 So when we see a hot girl, it's like, whoop, it gives us a hit of dopamine. And unfortunately, a lot of guys can't handle that. And they get really happy and they want to compliment. And they're so pumped to be talking to her. But she's not as pumped as you are. So you need to back down and monitor that shit, boys. That's the 80-100 rule. Give her 80% of the pumped that she's giving you. And I see this all the time. Guys are so excited. They got this ear-to-ear smile that's wrapped around their head and connected in the back with the safety pin.

14:09 And it's all teeth glimmering in the Egyptian sunlight like a diamond in the desert. And she's just like, why is this guy so fucking pumped to be talking to me? Oh, God, he's low value. And this is all subconscious with women. They're like, a dude who's this excited to talk to me is low value. Why? He's not used to talking to hot girls. He doesn't get these kinds of experiences often. So he's super pumped. So first of all, monitoring yourself, trying to be something you're not.

14:37 Let it all go, boys. I know it sounds weird, but just let it go and not give a shit. That's the most important thing. Second, just don't compliment. Just don't do it until she starts complimenting you. The third thing is going with serious topics, talking about shit that doesn't elicit attraction, politics, religion, or any topic that is fundamentally boring. Now, here's the thing. She'll ask you boring questions. It's your job to come back with fun replies. She asks you, for example, what do you do for a living?

15:09 Most guys who are listening do something that on paper is pretty boring, right? Truck driver, UPS delivery man, mechanic, engineer, doctor, lawyer. Not that exciting on the surface. So when it comes to that question specifically, you have to put in something funny just to keep the conversation going. So as I always tell you guys, just tell you're an ass model. Just say, yeah, I'm a famous ass model. This ass is famous on seven continents. There's actually a big picture of my ass in some Calvin Klein thong underwear right up there in Times Square.

15:41 By the way, during no point in this conversation will you pinch this ass young lady because if you do, I'm going to be out of a job. And then she laughs and now we're injecting some conversational funness, if you will, into the conversation. So many times what guys will do is they'll bring up boring topics and have boring responses to her questions. She's like, what do you do for fun? And you're like, oh, well, I really enjoy Call of Duty. My CQB is so on point.

16:09 You know, I get that M9 gun and it's really easy to pie corners and I just smoke everybody in the CQB combat sequence and I'm really good at it. And she's like, oh my God, this is so boring. When she asks you what you're really good at, you have to have a funny joke. What I often say is, I've mastered night hearing. Yes, Sarah, I can actually hear at night now. I'm so proud of it. I'm like really good at it too. Took me a couple of years.

16:32 I was deaf at night, but now I can hear at night and I'm pretty pumped. Or I'm really good at sleeping. I'm really good at blinking. Check this out. I'm going to blink a thousand times right now. Did you see it? And then you don't blink at all and she laughs. Okay. This is the way to inject humor into otherwise boring conversations. But I'll tell you this, women are going to bring up boring shit and then blame you for boring them. So she brings up the presidential election and you run with it and you're like, oh, Trump or Biden or whatever.

16:59 And you go with it, go with it, go with it for 10 minutes. She's going to be like, boy, that guy was boring. But she's the one who brought it up. What a fucking hypocrite, right? This is female hypergamy 101. She expects you to control the conversation. So she brings up boring shit. What do you do, boys? You change the fucking topic. She's like, so what do you think of the presidential candidates this year? You know, we have one guy who's one step out of an old folks home and the other guy who's narcissistic.

17:27 I just don't know who to choose. You'd be like, so anyway, do you see that sign over there? It looks like it says goat check. I know it says coat check, but look at that. It looks like it says goat check. Please check your goat at the goat check before you come into the nightclub. And then she laughs. Then you change the topic and you guide her into fun and interesting topics that are going to elicit emotions. All right. So there's no emotions in the boring, mundane bullshit.

17:50 When you feel yourself going down that road, just change the topic. And if you need things to talk about, God bless America, brothers. I have 518 fucking episodes, most of which are like attraction building topic. This attraction building topic that there's plenty of information in my podcast, but more importantly, in my three month coaching program where my guys go out and have conversations that are 10 X more interesting than any other conversation she's had that night and probably that month. And honestly, probably that year or even in her fucking lifetime.

18:22 My guys get told all the time, this was the funnest conversation I've ever had. You are so funny. You are so entertaining. I have to see you again. Happens all the time because we don't fall into these patterns of going with boring topics. The next one, and this is a bonus, is taking it sexual too quickly. Gentlemen, we do not go sexual with her in any way whatsoever until she signals us that she's ready to go sexual. And believe me, they will signal you. They will bring up sexual topics.

18:52 They will ask you why you don't have a girlfriend. They will talk about giving blowjobs, talk about how good they are at massage or how awesome they look in a thong. Yes, they will do this to you. You fucking wait until they do. One of the biggest mistakes that guys make, and this very dude did it the other night as I was watching him, is he's like, you're so beautiful. You know, I just feel like we would like really have chemistry and I just want to kiss you, girl.

19:16 I want to kiss you. I was literally listening to this. And what I do, which is interesting, is when a dude is talking in a nightclub, I can literally go up to him and put my back to his back, getting within literally inches of the dude, just pretending it's tight quarters. And, you know, I just happen to be pressed up against him. And my ear is literally less than a foot from his mouth. I can hear everything he says. And this is the way I would coach guys in field when I used to do that.

19:43 The guys would go into set. I would back up and just be like drinking my drink, talking to somebody else, eavesdropping on their conversation. This dude was going way too sexual, way too quickly. We do not express interest in a woman until she express interest in us. We do not take it sexual until we get at least three signs of attraction, one of which should be something sexual where she's into us. So that begs the question, what do you do until you take it sexual? You give value.

20:14 You control the frame. You tell stories, bust her chops, drop gambits, do false disqualifiers, all again, which I teach in my podcast, but more importantly, my three-month coaching program. So until that happens, you're not interested. You're interested in the conversation. You want to see who she is and what she's about, but you're not necessarily attracted to her. Why? You're dating four other chicks. Your dick looks like a shriveled burn victim hiding in the corner of your underwear because you've had so much sex. You're literally out that night just chatting with people, just having a good time, not trying to get anything.

20:48 You're not giving her credit because she's hot. You're curious about her. Hey, I've never seen you before. What's your name? What's up? What do you do for a living? Wait, let me guess. Let me guess. You're an ice cream man, aren't you? I know you drive that ice cream truck. You just bust her chops, have fun. Boom. She starts getting attracted to you. Only then can you take it sexual. I want to ask you guys, what's the easiest way to take it sexual in a conversation with a girl?

21:11 I have dozens of ways to take it sexual, all of which I teach in my three-month coaching program, but here's the easiest one, easy to remember. You simply say, so hey, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? You do the helicopter tongue maneuver, the jackhammer tongue maneuver. I know that's why you don't have a boyfriend, and then she's going to start talking sexual with you. So, going sexual too quickly, hitting on women, which I see all the time, and which makes guys creepy, should not be done until she's attracted to you.

21:39 You often hear women talk about, I just want a guy to grab me and throw me up against the wall and make out with him, and I just want a guy to take control. And I want to say to those women, yeah, a guy who you're attracted to, a guy who you're not attracted to does that to you? You're calling the fucking police and taking him to court until he has a life sentence imprisonment, to which he has rapists attached to him, and then he gets butt-raped in prison.

22:04 So, easy goes it, guys, with being forceful. Don't fucking do that. First go in, not give a shit about what happens. Even kind of push her away a little bit, fuck with her, bust her chops, tell stories, you're just having fun. Once you have three signs of attraction, you can ask that simple question. So, hey, I'm curious about you. Why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? Boom, she's going to take it sexual, and now we're getting into sexual talk.

22:26 We do not hit on women in the unapologetic man army. What we do is get women massively attracted to us until they give us the signal that they want to be quote-unquote hit on. Then we move forward with that kind of talk. So, the four biggest mistakes, gentlemen, are monitoring yourself with unnatural movements. Number two, complimenting too soon. Freaking hate that one. Going with serious topics is number three. And number four is taking it sexual before she's ready. As I'm talking here, I'm like, oh my God, there's so many more.

22:58 But we're already at 24, 25 minutes, so I'm going to button this one up. Gentlemen, Monday, I'm dropping that podcast about why we self-sabotage, an NLP concept that I believe is going to blow your mind. And just by hearing this, you're going to be able to overcome all those self-sabotaging things that you do. We're actually going to go through how to remedy this on the podcast itself. So, definitely want to stay tuned for that one. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. As I mentioned, I have Instagram now.

23:29 So, please go follow me over there. If you'd be so kind as to leave me a review, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I'll send you a bunch of cool shit. Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, three techs to build massive attraction in women. Also send you some videos. I'll smack you upside the head and get your name tattooed right on my butthole. I do appreciate you listening and I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.