The 80/100 Rule - How to Show a Girl You Like Her

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? It's Mark Sing. Thank you for tuning in to another episode. In my last episode, we talked about what 99.99% of guys do wrong with women, and that was all about reactivity, giving her too much attention, letting her win too much, not being aloof enough, not being out of her grasp enough. Now, as things go with anything that's difficult, and seduction is certainly difficult, there's a dichotomy to that.

0:42 There's a balance to it. You also have to let the girl know that you like her. You also have to let her feel special, feel wanted, feel even a little bit chased. So in this episode, I'm going to tell you how to do that with the right calibration. I'm going to help you balance yourself so that while you're not being reactive to her, you're still making her feel like the most special girl in the bar, the nightclub, or the most special girl that you've met all month.

1:10 Before we jump into that, I want to let you guys know that, dude, this podcast is growing. I logged on today, and I looked at the downloads, and we broke our record for daily downloads in just one day. So I really want to thank you guys for coming back, downloading. Obviously, you think my content is decent enough to warrant coming back and downloading it again. So I really do appreciate you guys. Seriously, bro, I'm talking to you right now. Thank you, man. Thank you for listening to my stupid ass, my stupid ideas, my stupid voice.

1:39 I know you have lots of other shit you could be doing right now, but you're doing that, and fuck, man, I really appreciate it. Even if you just want to email me and say, hey, I'm one of the guys that really likes your content, dude, I'll probably reply and send you a program because that's literally how appreciative I am for guys just like you. You can email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com. You can also check out my coaching. I do offer one-on-one coaching. That's coachmarksingh.com.

2:05 Once again, that's coachmarksingh.com. I do have, I think, an eight-week waiting list now. I'm all the way backed up into the beginning of April. But if you say you come from the UMP, I will get you in earlier. I could slide you into spots here and there. I keep a few spots open for guys like you. So hit me up, my brother. Check out my website. Lots of reviews. I really get results from my students. And literally, I have my students tell me they cannot feel what they felt before they did the session with me.

2:36 So if you have approached anxiety, shame, anything like that, literally, we'll just remove it as if we're ripping out a splinter out of your brain. And then we replace it with programming that's much more conducive to attracting women. Okay. So I have this thing called the 8,100 rule. And really, it should be called the 8,10 rule. But we're Americans. And as Americans, bigger is better. So we went ahead and slapped on the 8,100. If we were really cool, we would have gone with the 8,000, 10,000 rule. But I'm just not that cool.

3:09 I had to stick with the 8,100. Okay. So the rule is this. For every 10 compliments she gives you, you want to give her eight. Now, obviously, a girl's probably not going to compliment you 10 times, but that's basically just the balance, right? It's 80% letting her win off of you as opposed to 100%. So if she gives you two compliments, you give her one. She gives you three. Maybe you give her two. If she's really into you and telegraphing she's down, you want to do that too. Okay. So a lot of my teaching has been based on pushing girls away.

3:45 Now I did this very methodically because many of my clients pull too much. They telegraph too much interest. They show her too much that she's winning off of you. But I don't want you guys to go in the extreme other direction and be aloof, be an asshole, almost come off like you're arrogant and you don't give a shit. I want you to have that balance. So that's what this podcast is about. Now, when you do the 80, 100 rule, that is to keep your pulls, meaning letting her win off of you in check.

4:17 You do once again, about 80% of what she does. So she's leaning in and she's really into you. And it's quite obvious. You can, you can be into her a little bit. And in fact, girls want to be wanted just like we want to be wanted. I mean, you've learned from my other podcast that women are very much validation seekers. And when you can make her feel like the most special girl to you in that entire club, especially if you've been talking to lots of girls, this is really important when you've been talking to lots of other girls.

4:47 If you can make her feel like the special one among all the other girls that you've been speaking to, that's where you're really, really going to win. Okay. So initially, obviously you go up and you simply seem interested. Hey, I wanted to come meet you. You're cute. What's up? What's your name? I'll tell girls they're cute initially, but it's very much telegraphed that I'm interested in getting to know more about them. And in fact, if you think about it, that's what they want to hear because they don't want to just win off of you because they're hot.

5:20 They went off of every single guy because they're hot. So the vibe is, is that you go up and you're interested. That's really the vibe. Okay. Then as you're winning her over and she's getting attracted to you, you ask her certain questions to let her win you over. And then you pretend quote unquote, to be getting attracted to her too, where of course you are attracted to her because I mean, let's face it. She's hot. And like to us guys, looks are ridiculously important, but she wants to feel like she won you over with her personality, with her wit, with her intelligence, with her conversation.

5:54 And you have to make her feel like she did. So oftentimes when I'm talking to girls in the clubs, you know, they say things to me like, is this what you say to all the girls? How many phone numbers did you get tonight? You're a player, aren't you? Things like that. And a lot of the reason they're doing it is because they want to feel like they're that one special girl. Of course they're doing it to test my balls. They're doing it to shit test me there.

6:20 There's those other reasons, but they also want to feel like they're like that one special girl. And I'll tell them that, and I'll do it very methodically. So what I do is I go in, build attraction, build attraction, build attraction. She's attracted. Then of course I do the sexual tension. And then as you've learned, I make her work for me through qualification. Then once she's qualified herself and you know what, even before that, like even before that, as the conversation's going, I slowly kind of start to give her a little more of me, a little more attention, maybe a compliment here and there.

6:57 Now, when I compliment her, I never ever compliment her looks because let's face it, I'm usually talking to cute girls, cute girls hear that they're cute all the time. So you need to compliment other things like her good energy, her great personality, her wit, her conversational skills, her vibe, things like that. When you make her feel special among all the other girls, then she's going to have justifiable reason to text you back. If, and I've done this many times in my younger days, you don't make her feel special, but you just keep her at arm's length and you do everything that I talked about doing in the previous podcast without making her feel like she won off of you, then she's not going to text you back because you just come off as an asshole.

7:42 She doesn't think you're really interested in her for her. She thinks that you just want her for a sex. So you need to make her feel like she really want off of you. And once again, it's with those kinds of compliments that she doesn't hear all the time. If she's got gorgeous blue crystal blue eyes with hot blonde hair, and she's just got these smoke and sexy eyes, dude, do not compliment her eyes. She hears that all the damn time. But what does she likely not hear?

8:15 And think about this too. What do you think she wants to be complimented on? So girls oftentimes will put lots of effort into things like their outfit, their style, maybe their makeup, things like that. So you want to figure out what did this girl put a lot of effort into, and then compliment her on that. For example, if you meet a chick who clearly makes her own clothing and bag, and maybe she makes her own jewelry, like her jewelry looks like she made it herself, then you want to point that out and say, dude, like, what's going on with your jewelry?

8:46 It's really cool. Where'd you get that? And she's like, oh, I made it. Now you need to be a detective and figure out what people want to hear. It's kind of like the old psychic trick where a dude who walks in and he's super ripped, the psychic is going to obviously tell him that he was a warrior in a past life and he's going to eat it up. It's like, he's not going to like reject that. He's going to eat it up completely because that's what he wants to hear.

9:12 So when we go up to the girl, once again, we're dropping the value. She's getting attracted. We start to let her win off of us a little bit. Once again, 80% of how much she's letting us win off of her. And then we start complimenting things she doesn't hear about often. We say, you know, you're different than the other girls. You don't, you don't really come to bars like this often, do you? And she's like, no, not really. Why? And just, just because you're different, like talking to you, I actually connect with you.

9:41 I feel like you have a lot more to talk about than most of the other girls. So that even when she sees you going to talk to another girl, she knows that she's won off of you. And meanwhile, you know, you're saying the same thing to the other girl. Now, of course you don't want to use this as manipulation. You want to, you know, use it wisely and use it sparingly, but everything needs to be in balance. There's a dichotomy of attraction and letting the girl feel special is so important to that.

10:08 All right. So here's some of the techniques that I use to make girls feel like they're winning off of me. One thing I say is, you know, Kelly, I have to be honest with you about something. She's like, what's that? Be like, well, it's kind of a big compliment. If I tell you, you have to promise me it's not going to go to your head. Do you promise? She's like, of course I promise. And you'd be like, okay, pinky swear. And then she locks up the pinky swear.

10:34 And you say, now Kelly, you do understand that the pinky swear is upheld by the United States Supreme court as being legally binding. You do understand that. Right. And she laughs and she's like, yeah, I understand that. Be like, all right, here it goes. Don't let it get to your head. Well, honestly, Kelly, and then I'll turn towards the door and I'll be like, when I saw you walk into that door, first of all, the beauty hit me. Okay. It hit me pretty hard. Now my legs went out.

10:54 I fell on the floor and I was crawling like a Vietnam vet who just got his legs blown off by a landmine crawling on the floor. And I had no way to get out of this predicament. People were walking on me. I was getting my head stepped on. It was a really bad situation. So I crawled to the end of the bar there. And meanwhile, guys, she's like cracking up. I do this all the time. They fucking love it. If you do it right, it's all about delivery.

11:22 So meanwhile, I crawled to the end of the bar and there's only one thing that can reinstate my strength. There's only one thing that can get me back to my feet. It's you, Kelly. So I look for you. I can't find you. You're behind somebody. And then you emerge like the sun emerging from the dark clouds. And there you are. And it revigorates my power. And I get back to my feet. And then like, I pretend like I get back up as I'm saying this to her.

11:49 And she's laughing and kind of smacking me in the arm and being like, Oh my God, you're so stupid. Is this what you say to all the girls? If a girl says, if this, is this what you say to all the girls? That's like a good thing. Okay. She's attracted. She's liking it, but she feels like it's a little bit contrived and you're a little bit of a player, which is like, okay, as long as she's getting the emotion, the rationale behind the motion kind of doesn't matter that much.

12:08 So then you say what I said in the other podcast, right? Which is no, I only say to the girls that seem fun and have a great personality. You're not boring. Are you? She's like, no, no, I'm fun. You'd be like, is that what you say to all the guys? So I always use that, that turnaround. Okay. So that's one thing I do to let her know that I like her and she's growing on me. Another thing I say is I knew we were meant for each other.

12:32 The first time we met five minutes ago, that always makes them laugh. You can say something along the lines of, you know, I talked to a lot of people in this bar. I have a lot of friends who come in here and I got to be honest with you. There's something different about you. And she's like, oh really? You'd be like, yeah, it's just, you're real easy to talk to. You're a great conversationalist and you just have a really positive energy. You're a positive girl, aren't you?

12:55 And she's like, yeah, I am. And you'd be like, so if your friend was stuck in the desert, her car broke down, you go pick her up. What did you? And she'd be like, yeah, definitely I'd pick her up. And then you can also turn that into a push, push her away and be like, oh my God, you're way too loyal for me. I would be using you all the time to pick me up from jail. We can't be friends anymore. So really what you want to do is you want to work these compliments into your push pull.

13:18 And as you remember in the push pull, half the time you're pushing her away. The other half of the time you're pulling her towards you, letting her win off you, then pushing her away, false disqualifier, pulling her again towards you. So this is really important. You guys is to have that balance. As the Buddha says, I'm looking down at my mouse pad and it says balance on it with the Buddha's face. And that's such an important principle for life is that if you go too far in either direction, either a too much pushing her away, or for most guys be too much pulling her into you, she's going to lose attraction.

13:49 But when you have that hot, cold, push, pull, mix signals kind of dynamic, it's gigantic. And let's face it. If a girl did this to you, she's keeping you at arm's length the whole time, never really admitting that she likes you. Well, you're not going to even know she likes you and you're going to get pissed and you're not going to like her. We tend to like people who like us, but I really have to give you guys a warning. If you do it too soon and you do it too much, she's going to lose attraction, especially because nowadays guys are always doing it too much.

14:24 They're always telegraphing too much interest. That's why my podcasts focus a lot on the push side of things, a lot on the not being reactive side of things. But just imagine how a girl would feel if I do that exact same thing that I explained in the past podcast. I say, do you like to travel? She says, yes. And then I push her and I say, travel over there. And then she hits me on the arm and I say, you're going to pay for that. She's like, oh, I am.

14:55 Am I? I'd be like, yeah. Hey, come here a second. I have to be honest with you. You do this one thing that's so cute, but I don't want to tell you what it is because then you'll stop doing it. And then she's going to be like, what, what is it? And you'd be like, dude, it's so cute. If you stop doing this, I'm going to be so devastated because this is the thing that's like keeping our conversation going right now. This one thing that you do.

15:17 She's like, what is it? What is it? No, you don't want to know. You're going to stop doing it. I know it. You're going to stop doing it. And then you tell her some compliment. Every time after you smile, you get this little blink in your eye. It's super unconscious. It's just this little blink. And every time you do it, it like hits me in the heart. And I'm like, ah, Kelly, don't do that. It's too much, but yet I love it. So I want you to keep doing it, but fuck, it's cute.

15:40 And then she smiles and she doesn't. You're like, ah, you did it again. Thank you for keeping your promise. That dude, that little sequence right there. Holy shit. It's like thousand points of attraction. And you see the push pull element. You see the hot, cold element, right? Travel over there. That's a push. You know what's cute about you? What? You don't want to know. Or you build intrigue, right? You do this one thing that's so cute, but I don't want to tell you what it is because then you'll stop doing it.

16:08 Oh my God. That is like chick crack. It's like catnip for chicks, man. They just go after it. So keep this in mind, guys. When you're with a woman, you need to let her know that she's wanted because girls are very emotional. And frankly, they deserve to know that they're great, especially if they actually are great. And then when you're dating a girl, you need to give her positive feedback and you need to be a detective and see where she wants that positive feedback. So for reasons I'll never understand, it's really important to my girlfriend that my mom likes her.

16:42 So I always know how to get Marissa buttered up. Cause I'm like, so I talked to my mom today and she's like, Oh, you did? And I'm like, yeah, she was talking about you. And she's like, what'd she say? Right? She like buys into it, dude. Every single time. Like, Oh, you don't want to know. It was, it was pretty complimentary. And I'm not, I'm not down to tell you what, what was it? She'll just chase. And even she kind of knows what's going on, but like, they love that shit.

17:08 Right? So you also need to figure out what their code, what their modus operandi is, and then feed into that. All right. So hopefully this gives you guys some balance to some of the previous podcasts that I've been doing, which have been largely based on push. This one was paid based on pull. And remember that 80, 100 rule. You just want to land 80% of what she's landing on her pull. And then by the way, it's 50, 50 push pull. Okay. So 80% of what she does pull wise, and then 50, 50 on the push.

17:40 So if you do, let's say eight pulls towards her because she did 10 pulls towards you, which is compliments or statements of interest or indicators of interest. Then you also want to do eight pushes, false disqualifiers. I can't date girls like you who wear black pants and yellow jackets. If you don't have 20 inch spinning rims on your Toyota Corolla, we can't be friends. Those that's called false disqualifiers. I'll probably do a podcast about that too. It's a good idea. Should do that. So, okay. 80, 100 rule. Then push pull is 50, 50.

18:20 All right. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Once again, guys, I really want to thank you for listening. You and I are brothers fighting side by side in the trenches. You take, dude, by the way, you guys should go see that movie 1917. Holy shit. That's a fucking masterpiece. Holy crap, dude. Like me and Marissa saw it last night. It was my birthday actually yesterday. I am 43 years young now, but she took me out to, uh, to dinner and a movie for my birthday. I wanted to see that world war one movie, of course, because clearly I'm reincarnated from world war one.

18:51 I mean, come on, dude is so good. You guys should check that out. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next podcast.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.