My Ironclad Seduction Tactic of Build Rapport - Break Rapport - Build Rapport

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do, brother. Smack yourself on the ass. You are a goddamn champion of the highest degree. If this is your first time listening, welcome. My name is Mark Sing. I'm an NLP dating coach.

0:33 I teach guys how to get girls. I get you more ass than a toilet seat. I get you the confidence, masculinity, and self-appreciation so that when you appreciate yourself, women appreciate you too. If you want to learn more about my coaching, if you want to get on a free, that's right, F-R-E-E, breakthrough session with me, where you and I get on the phone together and discuss your issues with women, your issues with confidence, your issues with getting the same results over and over again, and your desire not to end your life on your deathbed with regrets of having never gotten this woman thing settled, then go to my website, CoachMarkSing.com, click on coaching, read the 63 million reviews, sign up for that free one-on-one breakthrough session.

1:24 I'll send you my schedule, and you and I will get on that free breakthrough session together. All right, gentlemen, before I jump into the content, I want to read you a quick review of a man named Marius. What is up, Marius, out of Germany, who just went through my program and left me a stellar review. Marius, how you doing, man? Haven't heard from you in a few weeks, but I miss you, brother. I miss you in those coaching calls. You are a legend, complete champion. That last day, brother, that was hard seeing you go, but you have lifetime access to the Brotherhood Facebook group, as do all my clients who graduate.

1:57 You get lifetime access to that community, over 150 veterans, dating coaches themselves at this point, who give you advice on all your questions for life, and that is included. So, Marius, hope to see you in there soon. Don't be a stranger, man. So, this is what he says, boys. Mark, I honestly cannot say thank you enough for everything you are doing with your life and the mission you are on. You are indeed a light to this world. I hope that you will, in fact, become the most successful dating coach of all time, the Lionel Messi of NLP Coaching.

2:28 Love that. Thank you for your coaching, all the value, your honesty, your unfathomable humor, your wisdom, your energy, your inspiration, your positive vibe, and for being a real friend. Between you and me, I watched your last 12-week video, and that was the final video that I always send all my boys when they graduate. I watched your 12-week video yesterday, and I could not hold back my tears. When I look back on all the things I've learned in this course, I cannot fully grasp the change I am going through and everything this course gave me.

3:01 Well, Marius, I appreciate you, brother. Thank you so much for that stellar testimonial. And, boys, if you want to look at about 50-plus-something testimonials on my website that are equally as amazing as this one, check that out. Just go to CoachMarkZing.com. Click on Coaching. They aren't fake. They're real. I'm not going to sit here making that shit up, especially something like that. That comes from one of my clients who got the success he was after, and this guy is absolutely killing it, man. He's pulling really hot girls.

3:27 He's like, I cannot believe I kissed this nine that I never thought I could kiss before I got into this program, and now he's dating her because he's a fucking legend, and he had the courage to invest in himself so that he, when he gets to the end of his life, will be on his deathbed, nodding his head like a Spartan after battle, saying, yeah, brother, I did whatever the fuck it took to get that part of my life solved, and he did it in about three months.

3:52 So congratulations to you, Marius, the rest of you boys. I want to meet you, so sign up with me, man. We'd love to meet you. All right, so let's talk about this thing called Build Rapport, Break Rapport, Build Rapport, the three-step process to get a woman attracted to you. I talked about this. I was actually looking through my anthology of podcast episodes, and I talked about this exactly a year ago, but I'm going to do this one a little bit different so that those of you who have already heard that one, we'll get further layers onto what I spoke about then.

4:22 You'll get some more techniques. You'll get some more stuff on top of it, but for those of you who are hearing this the first time, you're going to get a lot of great content. You're going to really understand why it is that women perhaps do not get attracted to you in the past, and from this day forward, how you're going to have conversations with them that are going to get them attracted to you. All right, so to begin this lesson, we first have to talk about what this thing rapport is, okay?

4:46 So rapport is basically building commonalities with people, making people like you the way that you try to make a friend like you. So when you meet somebody new, you want to basically build commonalities, right? You want to figure out what they're into, where they went to school, what their profession is, what kind of hobbies they do, what their belief systems are, and you want to try to find those that you agree with and that you hold in the same capacity. So if you're really into snowboarding and you meet a guy who's also really into snowboarding, of course, you're going to get excited.

5:17 You guys are going to talk about Aspen and Breckenridge and going to Tahoe and going up to Canada and all these snowboarding trips you've taken because that's building rapport. That's building friendship. So naturally, when it comes to women, most of us think, well, I've been taught since three years old that in order to get along with people, in order to make people like me, I need to find commonalities, get excited about them, talk about them. And then that person will like me. But what's counterintuitive about women is that just puts you in the friend zone, which a lot of you guys have experienced.

5:48 A lot of you guys are awesome at going up to people and talking to them and building commonalities, building friendship, doing what I call platonic vibing. Platonic meaning no sexual tension whatsoever. Vibing meaning coming up with commonalities. Now, this is called building rapport. And we do want to do this with women, but we don't do it up front. At least not up front in the way that you guys have been doing it, which I'll explain in a second. Okay. So right off the bat, you need to break rapport.

6:19 Okay. So we understand that in order to get a woman attracted to us, we need to break rapport and kick it away. Hadouken, Hadouken, Shoryuken, Tatsumaki Senpu Kek. You win. Perfect. If you can name that video game, you are a legend. Smack yourself on the ass so hard that when the concussion hits, it blows the mustache off your best friend's face. If you can't, come on, bro. Street Fighter 2. I used to go play that with my buddy at 7-Eleven. And when he would do the Tatsumaki Senpu Kek, a lot of you guys know what I'm talking about, the spinning kick.

6:50 Me and my buddy would be like, blop, blop, blue kick. Blop, blop, blue kick. And then I went to Japan and I was talking to my students. I was a teacher in Japan for four years. I was talking to my students and I was like, what does he say there? And they told me it's Tatsumaki Senpu Kek, which means whirlwind kick. Tatsumaki Senpu is a whirlwind. Kek means kick. There you have it. Tatsumaki Senpu Kek. And then remember how he goes, Shoryuken. That means rising dragon punch.

7:17 And homeboy's name is Ryu, correctly pronounced Ryu. And that means dragon. So for you boys who have played Street Fighter 2, now you know what the fuck's happening. Anyway, back to the point. You want to break rapport, my dude. You don't want to try to get into rapport with this chick. Not initially, okay? Once you have attraction, once she's firmly in the bucket where attraction is concerned, then you build rapport. All right, so now we know that going in, we have to break rapport with these girls.

7:47 And what is break rapport? It means you're kind of playfully fighting, playfully teasing her, creating kind of frustration in her, creating that sexual tension. So when we go in, and once we have some signs of attraction, we go in and we break rapport. Okay, quick example. Right now, I'm going to go into more as we go along in this episode, is if she likes soccer and you like soccer, instead of high-fiving her, asking her what her favorite soccer team is, going all crazy about how you guys both played soccer in high school, and like smiling and being super stoked about it, you would do something akin to, oh, no, you like soccer?

8:24 And she'd be like, yeah, why? You'd be like, damn it, dude, that sucks. Deal breaker. We cannot be friends. She'll be like, why? Are you like anti-soccer or something? You say, no, I love soccer. I'm the biggest fan of Barcelona. Actually, for me, boys, I'm kind of with PSG now, because Messi moved over there. I love Lionel Messi, so where he goes, I go. I also love the Premier League. I'm not going to name any fucking teams on the Premier League, because I know you English chaps will fucking burn me alive if I choose the wrong team, but I love the Premier League.

8:53 So anyway, you're like, man, I love soccer so much. I am so much better at you than soccer. You would get pissed if we ever played together. You'd cry, hit me in the head with the soccer ball. It would be this big fucking drama. I'm out of here. We can't be friends. Okay, you see how that is? It's playful. It's teasing. It's breaking rapport. So when you have a commonality with the girl, what I always do is I use that as the reason we wouldn't get along.

9:19 Okay, I'm going to get into more examples in a minute, but before I get into that, I just want you to get this. Initially, we're breaking rapport. We're play fighting. We're causing frustration. We're causing reasons to not be friends. We are doing false disqualifiers, which is what that was. You like soccer? I do too. Oh, we can't be friends. It's obviously a false disqualifier. And while you're doing it, you're kind of smiling, cluing her in that you're just fucking around. This is what women like. They like that kind of play fighting, hit you on the arm kind of energy, that frustration.

9:51 Now we're going to get into how to really do it from the get go. A lot of my clients ask me, what do I talk about in the first conversation? How do I approach a strange girl on the street and do I like break rapport with her immediately and tease her right off the bat? Mark, if I do that, won't I be an asshole? My answer to that is yes. And this is where the build rapport, break rapport, build rapport concept comes in. So initially when you approach, okay, there's a myriad of different things that can happen.

10:19 But let's just say you approach with what I call a direct approach saying, hey, I thought you're cute. I wanted to come over here and meet you and see if you're interesting. I'm Mark. What's up? What's your name? She's like, hey, I'm Kelly. Okay. Initially, we're going to do for the first 30 seconds or so, a rapport building type of cadence that you guys probably do anyway. Okay. So the first 30 seconds, you ask simple questions like, what's up? I've never seen you here before. Where are you from?

10:46 Maybe even like, where do you go to school? What kind of coffee is that, that you just ordered? Is it any good? Did you hear about the fight that happened outside this bar last week? Some of that kind of like rapport building, getting to know you stuff so that she can get comfortable. Okay. Once she's comfortable and the set sticks, as I call it, and sticking means she's in the conversation. She may be facing you. She's invested in you. She wants to talk to you. Then we go into breaking rapport.

11:13 Okay. So initially just for the first like 30 seconds to a minute, it's the same shit you guys do. It's like interview mode, no big deal. Just chopping it up. Now what you're not probably doing right is the delivery and the frame control, which is a whole different subject. And that alone will get her attracted to you. In truth, quick side note, you don't even need to break rapport. If you have a super strong frame, you're super confident. You can fucking talk to her about the weather for five minutes and get her number and she'll still date you.

11:43 If you have that self-belief, which telegraphs in your body language, your tonality, the way you stand, the way you deliver, you're bearing, you're bearing. It's the most important thing. It's 80% of it. But to really hype up attraction, we first go in and we build a little bit of rapport, which is some simple conversation. And typically you have to do what I call stacking, which is asking a couple of questions. Okay. Like where are you from? Never seen you here before. You're new to this gym. What's up with that workout you're doing?

12:13 Where'd you get that coffee? Hey, do you know where the watermelons are? Hey, did you hear about the thing that happened at this gym where people are stealing shit out of the locker room? You're just kind of showing her that you're a normal dude. Then after the conversation sticks, that's when we start breaking rapport. That's when we start teasing her a little bit because now she knows we're not just some asshole who approaches her with that kind of teasing, combative kind of energy. Okay. So breaking rapport is like I said, when you guys have a commonality, you use that as the reason you wouldn't get along.

12:43 Okay. Sometimes too, I'll do play fights with chicks. I'll be like, yo, are you trying to, you staring me down or what? Like I saw you over there kind of staring at me. You trying to flex up or what? What you got? She'll be like, man, I'll fucking kick your legs out. I'll be like, dude, I'll choke you out so fast. You wouldn't know what happened. And then I can turn that into sexual attention, which I'll talk about a little bit later. Okay. Another thing I often do is a simple question.

13:05 This one kills. You guys should write this down. I'll ask her. So, hey, Kelly, I've been talking to you for 30 seconds. So right now I need to know what your sign is. Because if you're the wrong sign, we definitely cannot be friends. What's your sign? Okay. And she's like, I'm a cancer. And I'm like, ah, shit. I knew it. I knew it, Kelly. And she's like, why? I'm like, because I'm an Aquarius. You know what happens with cancers and Aquariuses, right? And she's like, what? You're like, they always fight.

13:30 Constantly fighting. Constantly disagreeing. Look, we're in our first fight already. And I've met you 30 seconds. I knew you weren't meant for me the first time we met 30 seconds ago. Okay. And she cracks up. And then you can turn this into sexual tension. Now, this is advanced for you boys who have been listening for a long time. Or God bless you champions who have been through my program. You already know this. Let's go over it. Okay. So you ask her, what's your sign? She says, I'm a cancer.

13:54 You're like, ah, shit. I'm an Aquarius. We would never get along. Aquariuses and cancers, all they do is ever fight. Like if we went out to dinner, I'd be like spraying mustard and ketchup all over your hair. You'd be slinging pickles at me like a ninja, like shooting the ninja stars off your hand onto my forehead. And I'd have to walk home with a pickle hanging off my eyebrow. Too much drama. We cannot be friends. Okay. She laughs. We've broken rapport. We're obviously joking. You have a slight smirk on your face.

14:19 And always, boys, you have frame. Okay. If you don't have frame, none of this shit is going to work. If you don't own this, if you're not congruent with it, sorry, this is a bullshit lesson that will never work for you. Okay. You have to believe this shit and you have to be congruent with it. You have to tease her like a father teases his daughter or a soccer coach teases a 13-year-old girl on a soccer team. Okay. It's not condescending. It's just the tonality. It's the delivery.

14:44 So you have that whole exchange. And if she likes it, then you can say, you know what the good thing about fighting is, right? She's like, what? And you say, well, afterwards you get to make up. Now you're putting a little lure out there for her to possibly jump onto. Most girls will. And she'll be like, like what? Make up sex? Be like, yeah, you know, like after you fight and then you have sex, it's some of the best sex ever. And I'll tell you what, while you and I definitely cannot be friends, there is something to be said about Aquarius's and cancers.

15:13 Do you know what that is? And she'll be like, no. And you'll be like, I don't want to tell you then. Because if you don't know what it is, you will freak out if I tell you. Now, obviously you're implying that the sex is really good. The sex is really heated. And then if she's into it, she's buying into the shit. Boom. You're talking about sexual type stuff by a quick breaking rapport technique of asking her what her sign is. Okay. You can also break rapport in a way where you joke with her about something completely unrealistic, like first asking her.

15:42 So, hey, before we keep talking, I need to know something. She'll be like, what? You'd be like, what kind of car do you drive? She'll be like a Hyundai Elantra. And you're like, ah, shit. Okay. Okay. We might be okay. Let me, let me check something. Tell me you got 20 inch rims on that bitch. Tell me, please, please don't let me down. She'd be like, no, I just have like hubcaps. You'd be like hubcaps. Are you kidding me? Tell me they at least spin and they got some bling in the middle of them because I cannot talk to you unless you have either 20 inch rims or fucking hubcaps that spin with bling in them.

16:13 She's like, no, I definitely don't have it. And you guys are laughing and you're like, you are so fired. Get out of here. You owe me a letter of apology. I will need that on my desk, young lady by 5 PM tonight. Okay. You see how this is? You're just fucking busting her chops. You're obviously sarcastic. She knows you're not going to blow her out because her Hyundai Elantra doesn't have 20 inch rims on it. So we're just fucking around. Okay. So let's review boys. Cause I know a lot of you guys are a little thick headed here and you ain't quite getting it.

16:41 So let's review when you first approach, how long should you just build rapport with simple basic questions? Okay. That's about 30 seconds to a minute. Okay. Once the conversation sticks, then we go into breaking rapport, teasing her, particularly when we can tell she's a little bit attracted. She's a little bit invested in the conversation. Okay. So we're breaking rapport. We're busting her chops. Then as I always teach, once we get signs of attraction, then we can qualify her completely different podcast episode, make her work for us a little bit.

17:15 Once she's done that, then we can toss in more rapport building stuff. So you guys are like excellent at building rapport. You guys are great at building commonalities, agreeing on things. A lot of you guys are super genuine. You got a lot of you guys are nice guys as it were, and it's always put you in the friend zone. Well, you can still be a nice guy, but you can't start with that shit. You understand? You have to start with breaking rapport with teasing her. Okay.

17:39 So you guys got it, right? Build rapport, break rapport, build rapport. That's the sequence. Now, of course, there's more intricacies to it. And what's funny to me is like a lot of guys think that they're just going to sit here and listen to this podcast. They're going to be driving their UPS truck or their Amazon prime truck. Listen to this podcast. Or for you guys who work out to it, listen to it in the morning on your commute to and from work, whatever it is, you think like you're going to listen to this podcast and get all the answers and go out and kill it.

18:05 But you and I both know that's not the way it works. You have to fucking practice this stuff. That's why when you come into my three-month coaching program, I make my guys have 20 interactions with women per week over a 12-week period so that by the end of it, they've talked into 240, hopefully 300 different girls. And most of that is rejection-free the way I teach it. Well, you think you're just going to listen to this and be like an armchair pickup artist and actually understand it? You're not.

18:32 You have to go out and practice it. I liken it to Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I talk about it a lot because I'm a beginner in jiu-jitsu and the experiences that I have pertain perfectly to seduction. Well, in the beginning, as I was doing BJJ, I would always fuck up my fingers. I'd sprain my fingers. I'd jam them. I'd always fuck them up. I was like one of those guys that had tape all over his fingers and his toes too every time I went to class. Well, as I get better, that's happening to me less and less.

19:00 And it's almost an unconscious thing. I don't even consciously try to hide my hands or do it in a certain way. It's just the body learns how to move through space better so you don't repeat those injuries because it's learned through experience. So the only way you are going to be able to pull this shit off, all the shit that I teach, is by going out there and actually experiencing it and trying it. And then it clicks into place. And like Marius, the guy who wrote me that stellar testimonial, which I read previously, he's just flown with it because it's become natural for him.

19:31 Because over the three months, the dude literally opened 250 girls. Once you get to that point, you become a different fucking dude. And all the things I teach you, like build a rapport, break rapport, build rapport, you actually put into play and you understand how it works through experience. So that like me, now protecting my hands completely unconsciously and no longer getting them hurt, knock on wood, hopefully that doesn't happen in my next session, not getting them hurt, it's because I've experienced enough times that my body has adapted to it.

20:00 You are so much more intelligent than you think you are, but you have to go out there and experience firsthand what it's like to do this stuff so that you can click it off on each subsequent set. Okay, so you armchair pickup artists, you guys who are totally afraid to go approach girls, what I suggest is just open and eject, open and eject, open and eject. What does that mean? Go up to her, say a quick thing, ask a quick question, make a quick comment, and then bail out, eject.

20:28 Then what you do is you stack, like I talked about, you ask a couple questions, before you know it, you're in a conversation. Most of my guys in the first week, I make them open 20 girls in the first week, and I say to them, yo, I don't want you getting at any conversations. I want you opening her and ejecting, getting the fuck out of Dodge, I don't want you to get rejected. Eject before she can reject, right? What happens? Almost every single dude gets into a conversation, and a lot of guys actually pull phone numbers, because just the act of approaching is going to get you phone numbers all on its own.

21:01 Then once you've done 20, 40, 60, 80 girls, then you can start doing these higher concepts of build rapport, break rapport, build rapport. Because for a lot of you guys, you're like, really? I'm going to go up to her and ask her what her sign is, then make that the reason we wouldn't get along and create sexual tension out of that. That seems too complex, Mark. It doesn't seem natural. I can't pull that off naturally. Of course you can't, because you haven't spoken to any women yet. You're still doing the whole armchair thing, convincing yourself that, yo, once I listen to enough of these podcasts, once I really get these concepts down, and listen to this one particularly six different times, and write down everything I'm supposed to say, then I'll go do it.

21:39 Listen, man, if you're not doing it now, you're never going to do it. It's a procrastination excuse that's going to continue to perpetuate itself. So yeah, these concepts are great. I teach a lot of good shit. There's tons of rich content. But honestly, when you get out there and do it yourself, you're going to come up with your own content, ways to break rapport. Every coaching call we have, my guys come up with new techniques that just came to them when they were out talking to girls.

22:03 And I learned things. I learned things too. I'm just as much of a student as you are when it comes to this shit, but I understand that it has to take experience. You got to get out there and do it. So get out there, man. Go approach and eject. Go talk to girls. If you think you can have the mental fortitude to be able to break rapport, I highly suggest it. This is what gets attraction. What happens when guys try to build rapport from the beginning?

22:28 They get put in the friend zone because there's no tension. Tension equals attraction. Frustration even, playful frustration even, equals attraction. So I want you guys to really think about this. I want you to take it on board. Remember, when you first go up, just open and eject. Don't worry about it. As you get better, you start stacking, getting into conversations. Once it sticks, particularly once you can feel she's a little bit attracted, then we start breaking rapport and it works like fucking gangbusters. One last note I want to say about this is when I'm in the club killing it and I have tons of girls with me, there's a line of girls waiting to talk to me.

23:06 There's one girl dancing my right leg, the other one on the left, another girl pulling me from behind. I got two snail trails going down my legs because the girls are grinding on my thighs. Then when I see a girl checking me out from across the room, I can immediately go up and break rapport. Why? Because she's already attracted. I don't need to prove my value to her. It's already set. So then I can go in and break rapport. One of the things I do is I'll go up to her and I'll be like, excuse me, I just had to let you know you were so unbelievably in my way.

23:38 Would you mind moving aside, please? I'm trying to walk by and she'll be like, oh my God, and like hit me on the arm. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Another thing I'll say is, which I talked about earlier, is like, hey, hey, real quick, come here. I noticed you were staring me down from across the room. What's up, punk? Trying to get in a fight? Okay, now that's not going to work with a girl who isn't into you already. Can you see why that is?

23:59 But it will work with the girl who's jocking you because you have other chicks with you. You're obviously a high value guy. When you deliver that in the right way, which is a little smirk, you're just being playful. She's going to play along with it. I have gotten into so much sexual tension with just that opener alone where immediately we start talking about sex because like I told you guys, I'm like, hey, you're trying to get in a fight? She's like, you're trying to get in a fight?

24:22 And I'll be like, dude, I'd choke you out so fast. You wouldn't know what the fuck happened. I'd hit you so hard. You fly back up your mom's vagina. Okay, in joking guys, and it has to be delivered correctly now, but I'll get into that. She'll be talking shit back to me. She'd be like, oh my God, I'd slap you so hard. It would knock the makeup off my best friend's face. Ha ha ha. And then we can get into sexual tension as I previously explained.

24:44 So it's all about getting just that little bit of attraction, which doesn't require a ton of anything other than frame and confidence. Then we break rapport. Once she's attracted, we do what we call qualifying. If you haven't heard about that, look it up or join my program. I give a masterclass on it. Once we qualify her and she's worked for us, then we can build rapport. But there's always a mix of teasing. Even today, I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of years. I still tease her.

25:12 I still fuck with her. I still break rapport in a fun and playful way, but it has a certain percentage split to it. 50% of the time I'm real. I build rapport. I listen to her. I'm a great boyfriend. I'm chivalrous. All that stuff. 50% of the time I'm messing around, busting her chops, being playful. Remember guys, girls just want to have fun. Especially initially, you're doing 80% playfulness, 20% rapport. And then once she gets to know you better, that gets knocked down to different percentages based on where you are in your rapport slash teasing protocol, which I talk about in my coaching program, way too in-depth to go in on this episode, but that's how it works.

25:52 Okay. So all I want you to take from this is this. First go in, build a little bit of rapport, start breaking rapport once it's stuck, and then qualify her, and then you can think about building rapport later, but don't go in doing what most guys do. And what you probably did in the past was just to build rapport and do platonic vibing and try to come up with commonalities. If a commonality comes up, use that as the reason you two wouldn't get along. Okay. It's very basic.

26:18 It's going to take experience to flesh it out. And again, the most important thing is frame, tonality, body language, believing in yourself. And that's why my coaching program, I focus highly on NLP, neuro linguistic programming to program your brain. So you think and feel like a natural so that when you go talk to that woman, that's telegraphed subconsciously without your deliberate will, that you feel like you have a high self-worth that alone gets her attracted. Throw in these rich techniques like breaking rapport by asking her what her sign is.

26:50 It's over, bro. It's over. This is where you get phone numbers that stick. This is where you get same night lays. This is where you get high quality girls who fall in love with you and want to marry you from this kind of protocol. So take it, use it, have success with it. And if you want to meet with me on that free one-on-one breakthrough session, go to my website, click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slapping the Jesus and you and I will get on that one-on-one call together.

27:14 All right, boys, I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.