The Perfect Way to Act Around Girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, money, women, and yes, you guessed it, being a fucking man without making any apologies for it. I'm your host, Mark Sing, and today we are going to talk about how to present yourself to a woman, how to correctly act like the attractive guy that she's going to be attracted to. How do you do that? Which version of yourself should you choose to put out there? Should you be the cool, relaxed, mellow guy?

0:37 Should you be the spazzy clown, fun-loving guy? Or should you be the drug dealer guy who promises her cocaine, which by the way is the one word that will instantly get you laid. One time I saw this dude, ugly as hell, walk into the bar. He goes up to this girl and he whispers something in her ear, this fucking hot girl, right? And she walks off with him. And I was like, Jesus, what was the word that that dude said? So I shit you or not, I run into him later.

1:06 Now I'm socially savvy where I didn't just come out with it. I gave her a little time, buttered him up a little bit, dropped some charisma bombs as it were. I was like, bro, like, I kind of noticed, like, you came in here, whispered to that hot blonde, and she just walked off with you. Was she your friend? He's like, nah. I was like, what'd you say to her? I said, hey, I got some cocaine. You want to go with me in the bathroom and take some?

1:29 Oh, man, we were cracking up about that. Cocaine, that'll get you laid. No, don't do cocaine, boys. Don't do drugs. Did you know that I've never done drugs in my entire life? 42 years old. Never. I shit you not. True fucking story. Never had a sip of alcohol, never taken a puff off a cigarette, never smoked pot, done any drug whatsoever, except, I'm kind of embarrassed of this, except for shrooms, because one time I was dating this chick, and she convinced me, because I was really into meditation.

2:01 She's like, yo, if you do shrooms, you're going to have, like, the most insane meditation session you've ever had. So I get my meditation music on. We do the shrooms. And honestly, man, it was just smoke and mirrors. It was just like, it's kind of like, have you ever had it where you think you're going to drink, like, a Pepsi? Like, you think Pepsi's in your cup, but then it's water, and it, like, hits you all weird, and you're like, oh, what the hell was that?

2:24 And it just, it feels weird to you. That's the way doing those shrooms was to me. So that was the last time I ever did drugs. We'll never do them again. I kind of do have this thought that maybe I'll do a bunch of drugs, like when I'm an old man on my deathbed, I'll just do heroin and methamphetamine and just, like, be this psychotic old bastard, but we'll see how it goes. But no, man, never, never taken a sip of alcohol. Not religious. I was a drummer in a straight-edge punk rock band through high school and college, so that kind of kept me out of the drug scene.

2:52 Straight-edge is, like, anti-drug, and that's how that worked out. So back to today's topic. Come on, Mark. Get on point, dude. See, part of getting good with women, guys, is being able to just talk about anything on and on and on and being able to just ramble, and I'm definitely pretty fucking good at that. So how to correctly present yourself, right? A lot of times, and I remember this, one of the reasons I think I'm a good coach is because, like, I was really pathetic back in the day.

3:23 Like, in my 20s, I mean, I couldn't get laid if you put me in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills strapped to my penis. I would not have gotten laid. I was so fucking bad. So I remember, like, I would see a girl, right? And I would say, okay, okay, okay, here it comes, here it comes. Which version of myself should I be? How should I act? And all these thoughts would go through me. And naturally, I'd take on some douchebag, pretender, trying-to-be-cool role, and I'd just weird the chicks out.

3:51 I remember this one time, my buddy, who was a natural girl magnet and who I learned a lot of things from over the years, he introduced me to these two really cute girls, and I came up, and I'm like, hey, how you doing? Hey, hey, how you doing? Good to meet you. And, like, I was trying to be, like, really confident and firm handshake and good eye contact and, right? And my buddy comes over to me. He's like, dude, what was that, man? I was like, what?

4:16 He's like, dude, you weirded those girls out, dude. You came on way too, like, intense. And I was like, fuck, man. I don't know how to do it. He's like, bro, just be yourself, dude. Just be yourself, and that's my message for you guys. When you go talk to girls, this is what I want you to do. I want you to stop those bullshit thoughts that how would I act if I was cool thoughts. The way you should act is how you act when you feel good, when you feel good.

4:46 You've heard me say it before. States are contagious. States are contagious. So what I want you to do, even if you're awkward, you're unconfident, you're bad at speaking, you have shame, believe me, I work with clients every single day. I know what you guys are going through. In fact, you, the listener, yes, bro, I'm talking to you right now. I can almost guarantee you that you have issues of shame, that you have issues of I'm not good enough, that you have metaprogramming deep inside your brain that tells you that you are not enough for a hot woman.

5:19 Like almost every single guy, unless he's had coaching already. Look, we all have bullshit. We've all walked through the rainstorm of life and been hit with the drops of pain and dysfunction. And that sticks with us in our metaprogramming. And it comes out when you go talk to a woman, you're just weird and uncomfortable and creepy and girls get fucking creeped out by you and they run away. But dude, it's not your fault, man. You have been given these bad programs when you were a kid, usually by your parents, usually by your siblings or friends or some traumatic incident that happened to you in early life.

5:56 And now you're stuck with that programming. How do you rewire the programming? NLP. Okay, obviously I'm going to tote what I do because I believe so fucking wholeheartedly in it because bro, I was just like you. And through reprogramming my brain through yes, NLP, I was able to rise above that. So when I go talk to a girl, I talk to her just like I'm talking to you, just like I'm talking to you. And oftentimes I'm even more relaxed because I'm so relaxed around hot girls.

6:26 That I don't even need to say some of my magical, funny, awesome lines to get her attracted. In fact, with really hot girls and all girls in particular, to be honest with you, if you can just be totally fucking normal, as normal as you are right now, listen to this podcast. Like if you're in your car driving and you got your hand on your cock, right? You're just so relaxed. Or maybe you're sitting at home with your legs up on the ottoman and you're just chilling, eating some chips.

6:55 You're so relaxed. If you can bring that to a girl, she will get attracted to you. So the next time you're walking up to a girl and you're feeling that stiffness come up and you're like, okay, well, how do I present myself? Do I like be like the cool, you know, the cool guy or do I be the funny guy or what? What I'm telling you is feel good. How do you feel good? You know how to feel good. You are a human being. You have access to that pleasure center anytime you want that.

7:24 Did you know this? You can feel good right now. I'm choosing to feel good. And honestly, I'm not going to get into it. I kind of had a bad day, but fuck it. I'm going to get into good state. And the more you teach yourself to feel good, the more you can access that state. And you access it before you go approach a woman, she will feel normal around you. She will feel good around you. So that when I went up to those two girls 20 years ago, back in my 20s, and I was all weird and intense.

7:55 If I was just cool, like, hey, hey, what's up? What's up, Jessica? Nice to meet you. Hey, I'm Mark. Hey, good to meet you. And I just had a good vibe. It would have went so much better. So this whole, what version of myself should I be? Who am I? Hmm. I'm a soccer player who also surfs. And like, I think I'm probably going to be like one of those like kind of intense, like introspective, kind of like philosophical guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me. That's me.

8:22 Dude, fuck all that. Okay. Throw that all out. All that identity, image, who am I, ego shit, throw it to the side. You are beingness. You are energy. And when you can tap into that energy, especially the good energy, and just present that, present the authentic, normal version of yourself, women will get attracted to you. So I know this was a short podcast, but the reason I recorded it is because I was at the gym today. And I was going up to the front desk to get one of those, one of those like rubber band things.

8:58 And I saw this guy come up and there was a cute girl at the desk. I was chatting with her and she knows what I do. And she's, dude, it's so funny when I tell chicks that I'm a dating coach, they freak out, man. They ask me all kinds of questions. So I was chatting her up and this guy comes over and like, clearly you could see he was like struggling with like, how should I deal with this? Right. And he's like, Hey, what's up? What's up?

9:19 Hey, could I get a basketball? Hey, thanks. And he like blinks at her. And I was like, oh my God, you know, the old forehead slap, like, let me go get my card for you so we can get you some coaching. And look, dude, I was there too, man. I mean, I just gave the example of those two chicks and I dare say 200 other chicks that I've done that to. But see, I wish somebody told this to me, like my buddy told me. He's like, dude, just be yourself.

9:43 Now, when you hear that, just be yourself. You're like, okay, well, what is myself? Now that's the problem is that you ask, well, what is myself? Like, what do you mean just be myself? Well, what am I? Oh, I'm a surfer. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're just energy. You're just beingness. You are genuine when you are not under pressure. So how do you act right now when you're listening to this, when there's no pressure on you? How do you act when you're in the shower?

10:11 How do you act when you're just alone and yourself or even when you're sleeping? When you catch yourself not thinking. When you're not thinking, that's when you're the most genuine. Now, this goes into all kinds of spirituality and stuff like that, that this episode isn't going to be aimed at. But I will say that the true you is that which you are when you are not thinking. That's so profound. The true you is that which you are when you are not thinking. This is the whole basis of Eckhart Tolle's teaching.

10:44 He wrote the book called The Power of Now, which I strongly suggest. So if you can get into that space where you're not thinking so much, how do I not think so much? You focus on every little thing that you're doing. I'm about to go get a tattoo, and it's going to say one word. And oftentimes I'll ask people, dude, I'm going to go get a tattoo. It's going to say one word. What do you think the most important word is to me? And they say things like honor, strength, integrity, character, never quit.

11:18 Bro, that's two words. Oh, don't quit. Right? And I'm like, no, no, no, no. The word that I'm getting, and I've already gotten it drawn up. I got this sick calligrapher. He's down in Spain. He wrote this for me. It looks so sick. The word I'm getting is attention. Why attention? Because the master pays attention to all things, every little thing he does. So the baseball player practices baseball, the tennis player practices tennis, the poet practices poetry, the master practices all things. So when you're washing your hands, you're there present with it, feeling the water on your hands, feeling the soap.

12:02 When you're speaking to somebody, you're concentrating fully on what you're saying. When you're sitting there right now doing nothing, can you feel the inner energy field running through your body? Can you feel that tingling in your hands? Can you hear, really hear the sound of my voice? Can you feel the air temperature? Maybe even smell some cooking in the next room. Are you really present? When you're present and free of thought, that is when you're full of yourself. And that, my friend, is when you're most attractive to women, the most attractive to women.

12:37 That's why oftentimes when you're in a bar, if you've ever had this and you're totally yourself, you're not thinking, you're just in the present moment, you're chopping it up with your friends, you're having a good time, you're smiling, you're not self-analyzing, but you're just there acting. That's when girls get attracted to you. So the next time you're walking up to that front desk to go get a basketball, instead of saying, who am I? Instead, say, how present am I? Get into the present moment. Look around.

13:07 Feel your footsteps walking. Feel good. Generate that good feeling in your chest. And then when you talk to her, just let the words come out through that good feeling. That's how you get attraction. And that's how you present yourself to women. Thanks for listening.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.