The RIGHT WAY to ESCALATE with Women

0:00 When you want cattle, you take the cattle. When you want food, you take the food. When you want the woman, you take the woman. Jefe, you don't understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up naturally. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP.

0:40 I really do appreciate you. And that little quote that I said at the beginning of this episode was from Three Amigos, that really funny movie from the 80s. If you've never seen it before, I highly suggest checking it out. It's pretty damn funny. But this episode is going to kind of pertain to what they were just talking about. You know, a lot of us think that when you want the woman, you just take the woman. And maybe you may be under the impression that my message says to do that too, right?

1:08 Be a masculine man. Go over there with your caveman stick, hit her over the head, and take her. But boys, that is not the way it works. It is ultimately the woman needs to be your barometer for your escalations. And coincidentally, I always tell you guys to lead her, right? But I always say lead her to where she wants to be led. Now, this episode is going to talk about the where she wants to be led part. Because you don't just decide one day that you're going to make her your girlfriend and then force her to be your girlfriend.

1:42 She has to be ready. Now, going back to the petals of the flower analogy, the sunshine is actually your attraction. So to open up the petals of her flower, you have to dump attraction upon attraction upon attraction to her. Then when she's ready to open up to you, you take her to where she wants to be led. And that's what we're going to talk about in this episode today. All the way from the moment of getting her phone number to even marrying a woman. It's on her terms.

2:11 She's the barometer. She actually leads. But you take her there. And we're going to talk about that subtle dynamic. I want you guys to get this right. Because I see it time and time again that some guys misinterpret what I say about frame control. You lead her. You're the masculine presence. You take control. But when it comes to escalating in the relationship, escalating physically, all that stuff, she's the one who needs to be ready first. And then you take her there. So we're going to go through every step of that.

2:39 I'm going to teach you guys how to do it so your calibration is perfect. And when you get this right, that's the fairytale ending that she wants to experience. This is what all women want you to do. And so many guys get this wrong. And women hate it. They want you to do certain things. But it's on their terms when they want it. So we're going to get deep into the weeds on this one today. They really teach you guys how to do it so that when you execute a campaign on the next girl who you have a crush on, it's going to work well for you.

3:06 And the petals of the flower, they will open naturally, jefe. All right, guys. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you for all the awesome reviews. If you do leave me a review, please email me, as many of you guys have been doing lately. And I will send you three awesome programs. The Conversation Sniper, 150 Deadly One-Liners for Building Attraction, Guide to the Female Organization, How to Make Her Look Like a Screaming Demon That Just Got Hit With a Tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women.

3:35 Wow your friends, baffle your enemies. In addition to that, I'm going to send you three videos. So remember, when you leave me a review or even if you subscribe or even tell a friend, hit me up at coachmarksing at gmail.com and blow, I will send you all that stuff. Now, I got to say, you know, I really appreciate it when you guys actually leave me a review and leave some writing behind it. The writing ones are the ones that I actually see. If you just slap the five stars and leave it at that, I don't actually know that you did it.

4:01 I don't see your name. I don't see your words. So if you want to go the extra mile for me, I will be sure to go the extra mile for you when you email me. So let's jump into the content. All right. So you woke up in the morning and you decided little Jessica at work is going to be your girlfriend. Oh, yeah. I've decided she's going to be my girlfriend. Let me go try to pull her into the outcome that I hope will manifest. Let me make her my girlfriend.

4:26 Let me make her attracted to me. No, it doesn't work that way. I want you to backpedal, bro. Slow down, Captain Enthusiasm. You need to slow it down a little bit, bro. Drop it down a gear. Okay. What we need to do is work on attraction, attraction, attraction. And going on the little Jessica, your work example, we want to make sure we do a campaign to get her attracted to us. Now, if you need to learn how to get a girl attracted to you, I would strongly suggest listening to the myriad of my other episodes.

4:56 We won't have time to get into that today. But what I want to say is first you get her attracted. And then when she's ready for you to ask for her phone number, when she's ready for you to ask her out for coffee, when she's ready for you to escalate, you want to make sure that she's ready for it, that it's on her terms. Because so many guys like say, Mark, you know, I like this girl at work. How could I get her? What should I say?

5:19 I want to ask her out, right? Like, let me ask this girl out. And then I always say, well, is she attracted? And a lot of times they're like, oh, I don't know. You know, I think so. I'm like, bro, you need to know like 100%. And if you're not sure, then we take a step back and we work on the campaign. We work on getting her attracted by doing all the stuff I talk about, right? Leaving her on a high note, telling her interesting things, making her laugh.

5:45 Showing her pre-selection, which means you have other women in your life. Great way to do that is to grab her Instagram and she sees your Instagram with all the high quality things going on in your life, all the women in your life, etc. Then you notice she's asking you certain questions. What are you doing this weekend? She's showing up at your cubicle when she really shouldn't be there. She's leaning in. She's laughing at jokes that aren't funny. And she's treating you differently than she treats other guys in the office.

6:11 Okay, you're pretty sure she's attracted. Now you're thinking to yourself, does she want to hang out with me? I'm pretty sure she does. Cool. Execute. Okay. Now you ask her, hey, listen, are you down to hang out sometime? You know, I don't know how you feel about this whole work thing, but would you be down to go get some coffee sometime? So, what you did there, contrary to what a lot of guys do, is rather than just deciding you wanted to take little Jessica out on a coffee date, you built attraction first.

6:39 That's the foundation. The petals of the flower opened naturally. She was ready. And then you took her on that date. Okay. So, now let's say you guys are dating. And she wants to hang out with you probably like four times a week. The thing that's really important to understand, and this is a very important principle that works into this. In fact, it might warrant its own podcast is. And this is so important. I want you to tattoo this on your neck. The person who wants less is the person who's in power.

7:07 And the person who is in power must be you in order for her to continue being attracted to you. That's so damn freaking important, I'm going to say it again. The person who wants less is the person who is in power. And the man must be in power for her to be adequately attracted to you. Okay. I know a lot of people might disagree with this, and that's fine. I don't give a shit. I have seen this thousands of times, not only with myself, but with my clients as well.

7:32 Whenever the guy likes the girl more, who's the one in the power? It's the woman. And what happens then? The man goes into the feminine role, right? And she's in the masculine role. Because the person who wants less is the person in power. Therefore, the person who's in the masculine role. And therefore, for attraction to continue, you have to be in that masculine role. Therefore, you have to want less. Okay. So, going back to the example. She wants to hang out four times a week. You need to force yourself.

7:59 You need to have discipline. You need to look at your little red-helmeted warrior in your pants and say, No, you little bastard. I'm holding you back from going to war tonight. Because she wants to hang out four times. I'm only going to hang out three. Because you have to hold yourself back. You have to want less than she does. Now, you're asking, well, what about leading her to where she wants to be led? That plays into this too. Because while you want less than she does, she's actually being led to where she wants to be led to because she wants to be attracted to you.

8:31 And if you satiate her, if you give her exactly what she wants or even more than she wants, she's going to lose attraction for you and she's not going to get to experience that puppy dog attraction that women love. So, while she wants to hang out four times a week, I want you to back down from that just a little bit. But when you hang out with her, make it like the best experience she's ever had. And this is how you make a girl fall in love with you.

8:56 Is you show her a great time. You're that sanctuary that she goes to to feel fulfilled. And then before she's satiated, before she's had enough of you, you pull back. Okay, so she's the barometer, right? Now, she wants to hang out four times a week. You want to hang out six times a week. Bro, you love that cuddle shuttle, man. You bought yourself a twin bed so you could sleep with your arms around that cute little girl all night long and you want that seven days of fucking week.

9:24 Bro, you're going to get blown out so fast. Your pants are going to fly off when the concussion hits. All right? You have to see what she wants. She's the barometer. And give her just a little bit less than that. Okay? Once again, how to escalate with a woman is you see when she's ready to escalate. And then you escalate with excellence and you give her just a little bit less than what she wants. Now, this goes also into physicality. In my experience, I would always do this exact principle is build attraction, build attraction, build attraction.

9:56 She's ready to get it on. She wants to make out. Right when I know she's really primed, I'll freaking lay a kiss on her that just blows her socks off. Right? Or going off the analogy I've been using lately in my podcast, my freaking kiss decimates her so hard that the freaking hair extensions fly out of her hair when the concussion hits. So, I give it to her with excellence. And it's only when she's ready. Okay? So, a lot of guys get really pushy. They're too forceful.

10:23 And sometimes we see in the movies and we even hear from other women, I liked it when he was really forceful. But here's the thing, to be forceful, and I really tiptoe around this explanation because it could get me in some hot water. But to be forceful is only done when a woman wants you to be forceful and it takes a certain amount of calibration. So, I don't suggest for you guys who don't have a lot of experience to be forceful. Yeah, I feel good about saying that.

10:48 I'm going to keep it. Okay, but you can be a little bit persistent when you feel like she's attracted and she just needs a little more pushing to get there. But again, I always go back to attraction. I go attraction, attraction, attraction. Once again, it's sunshine on those flowers that open naturally. Once it's open, you take her there when she's ready. And then I leave her wanting more. So, I give her just a little bit less than what she really wants. I'm still leading her to where she wants to be led right when she can't take it anymore.

11:22 Like, when I do my first kiss method that you guys may have heard on a previous podcast, I get her so freaking wound up, so anticipating this kiss that I've had girls just like go kiss me and like grab me and kiss me. That's what you want to do. You're leading her to where she wants to be led when she's really ready. When she's really, really ready. Like, you got to take a piss like no tomorrow. You've been holding out on the bus because there's no bathroom on the bus.

11:46 And you've just been waiting and waiting and waiting. And when you take that piss, it's like freaking heaven because you're finally releasing that. That's the kind of release you want to give her if possible. You don't want to force it before it's ready. Right? You don't want to just take the woman. You'd never want to do that. You want to wait until she wants to take you. You give it to her with excellence. And then once again, you leave her wanting more. Always leave women wanting more.

12:11 Okay, relationship. What do you guys think you should do? Should you ask her to be your girlfriend? Oh, Sarah, will you be my girlfriend? I know we've been dating for three weeks, but I really like you and I think we hit it off great. Fuck no. Fuck no. Wait for her to start bringing it up. And this is an escalation. This is an escalating into a relationship. Always, without fail, wait for her to bring that shit up. And she will. She's going to do the old what are we speech.

12:38 And you may have heard me say this on a previous episode. I can't remember if I said this on the podcast or I said it in my coaching. But whenever they ask me what are we, I'd be like, well, we're not unlike monkeys on a rock floating through space with no idea why we're here. And who knows what happens after you die. You know, it could just be blackness. And she's like, no, silly. What are we? Like, are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Now, what I would always do, and you can take this advice if you want, or you can just be like, hell yeah, girl, let's get it.

13:08 Dude, what kind of rock do you want on your finger? I'm going to buy one for you tomorrow. If that's your program, you can do it. Personally, I don't think it's the best way to do it. Here's what I suggest instead, which is to be like, listen, you know, from experience, I found that relationships that start fast, end fast. I'm really having a great time hanging out with you. As you know, I'm not sleeping with any other girls. I'm just dating you, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet.

13:32 However, when I am ready, I'll let you know. Okay, so she wants it. You're saying, meh, let's slow down a little bit. But when she really, really wants it the most, and when you decide, because dude, this is up to you to make her your girlfriend. It's a big thing, in my opinion. When you decide, is when you execute. And one of the ways I would ask girls to be my girlfriend is I would tape a piece of paper on the back of a door with a pencil, and it would say on the piece of paper, will you be my girlfriend?

14:02 Circle yes or no. There would be a yes there. There would be a no there. And then there would be an arrow pointing at the no column and saying, don't pick this one. Now, of course, she's going to pick yes, because she's been asking me for the past month or three weeks or two weeks, however long I decided to make her wait, what are we? I want to be your girlfriend. I want to be exclusive, da, da, da, da, da. And then I took her there when I was ready.

14:25 See, that's how you escalate with a woman. You don't just go up to her and be like, so I've been thinking a lot, and I think maybe we should be boyfriend and girlfriend. Even if you're feeling that, if you're feeling needy and you really want this girl, bro, you have to hold yourself back. You have to. When it comes to women, you always have to be in the power position or they're going to lose attraction for you. I mean, I hate to say it, and it may sound misogynistic to some people who are listening, but, bro, that's the only way a woman stays attracted is when the guy wants less because that puts the guy in the power position.

14:58 Therefore, he's in the masculine position. When the guy wants more time and again, and I've just seen this so many times, when he wants more and he telegraphs it, he gets blown out. Now, you can want more. I've wanted more many times, but I held myself back, and if you're really feeling needy, if you're really, really, really wanting her and you, like, can't stop thinking about her, bro, I've been there. I remember this one time. I was riding my motorcycle, and, like, I sat, like, across the street from real creepy shit.

15:25 I can't believe I'm talking about this. I, like, sat across from her house wanting to go in so bad, wanting to text her so bad. She hadn't, like, texted me the whole day, and I just was like, Mark, just ride off, bro. Don't go down this road, right? Don't go down Stalker, Texas, Ranger Road. Just ride off. And that was one of the nights I had the epiphany. Look, you need to be talking to other girls. You need to have hobbies. You need to have things you're doing with your friends.

15:51 Because I was so one-night-ist on this chick. So focused on her femininity, her sexy-ass body, her laugh, her smell. She just had me, bro. She had me wrapped around her finger. But here's the thing. I never let her know that. And I held myself back, and that's why I kept her in the bucket. Had I tried to push and be like, what are you doing tonight? Can I come over? You know, it may have gotten me what I wanted for, like, a couple nights in the cuddle shuttle in my twin bed.

16:18 By the way, I don't rock that shit, bro. I walk a king-size bed, and when it's time to sleep, she's over there. I'm over here. Don't touch me. But had I rocked the program of, like, being needy and chasing her, I'm telling you, it would have ended badly for me. It would have ended badly. So always hold yourself back. When she's ready, that's when you escalate in the relationship as well. Okay? Physically escalating. It's the same damn thing. Is that when she wants it, you escalate.

16:45 Okay? So you get her super horny, super fired up, super attracted, and then you execute with excellence when she's ready for it. With sex, too, I would always make them wait a little bit. I'd be like, you know, we got time. There's no need to knock another home run out because that's a no-go. If you guys know what song that is, smack yourself on the ass, you're a champion. But I would always hold myself back, make her wait. And then, bro, by the time it was time to have sex, she turned into that screaming demon that looked like she just got hit with a tornado because I made her wait.

17:16 Participation with women is everything. What does a woman want? She wants to look back on her relationship with you with these fond memories of these peak experiences. The first kiss, oh my God, it was so amazing with him. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, it was so freaking romantic and awesome. He made me wait. When we first had sex, you know, I had an orgasm where I shattered the windows with my screaming. That's the level you want to take her to. When you push it too fast, when you get needy, that's when you get blown out.

17:46 And I strongly suggest, too, although I'm not married, I have not had experience with this. But if I were to ever marry a chick, when she starts bringing it up, right? She starts bringing it up. Ah, you know, we've only been dating a couple years. Let's slow down on that train. We're talking about forever here. Relax, Captain Turbo, right? Like, slow her down there, dude. And then she's waiting. She's working for it. She's working for it. And then, I don't know if I ever do it.

18:11 Honestly, I haven't really thought about this much. But I guess if I ever did it, I would make it the most, like, romantic, epic proposal ever, right? Like, I'd have freaking snipers in the bushes taking pictures of this shit because it's going to be just so fucking bomb. If I ever do it, slow down now. Slow down now. That's a whole different podcast. I don't even know what I think about that. But if I ever ask the chick to marry me, it's like I would make it the best experience of her life, make the wedding the best thing ever.

18:40 And, like, having kids, too. It's like when she's ready. So, anything with a relationship, with physicality, it's always make them wait. Do it when they're really ready, when they can't wait any longer. And with a girl, initially, it's attraction, attraction, attraction. That's the only way to open the petals of a flower. You have to look at it as the sun. If you try to force it open, if you try to do what so many guys do, which is, like, decide that you're going to be XYZ with this chick and try to pull her into the outcome that you hope will manifest, you are going to get yourself blown out.

19:17 There is no pulling a woman into an outcome. What it is is throwing attraction at her, getting her really into it, and then let her decide it herself. And then even make her wait a little bit and then bring her there. That's the perfect way to do it. All right. So, this podcast was all about how to escalate with a woman. I hope you guys took some nuggets of gold from it. I know I certainly did. I thought of this because I was thinking today about an old friend I used to know in Hawaii.

19:46 And he came up to me one day and he's like, man, you know, I'm just really attracted to Kelly, this chick that we worked with. He's like, I just want to go to dinner with her and just, like, you know, romance her. And, like, I think I'm going to ask her out. And I was like, well, is she attracted to you? He's like, I don't know. And, like, in that moment, I was just like, bro, like, what the fuck do you think is going to happen?

20:06 First of all, you're probably going to get rejected. She's not ready. You're coming out of left field. And guys do this to chicks all the time. Dudes who are in the friend zone, they'll just be like, Kelly, I'm in love with you. I want to date you and I really think we'd make a good couple. And she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck are you doing? Like, I have no idea what you're doing. So, again, the way to get a girl who you want and you just decide you want her, bro, it's not your decision.

20:31 It's her decision. So you need to try to get her attracted to you first. Do a campaign, as I always talk about. Do all the attraction building techniques that I talk about. Work on yourself. Show pre-selection. Show charisma. Show all these things that are super important. Then when she's ready, you're getting the signs of attraction. Okay, let's go ahead and try to escalate. And it's going to work a lot better for you guys when you do that. All right, guys, that's it for me in this podcast.

20:58 I do appreciate you listening. If you found any value whatsoever in this episode, I'd very much appreciate that review. Email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. You can also contact me through my website, CoachMarkSingh.com, and I will blast you those awesome programs. Love hearing from you guys. And listen, if you ever have any questions or you have some thoughts about some podcast episodes, go ahead and send them to me. I love getting feedback from you guys. I love hearing about what kind of ideas you'd like to hear about.

21:27 And even some of these podcasts, like the winging one was some guy's idea, and I completely forgot about it. And I was like, oh, shit, that's a great topic. Let's go ahead and do it. So if I need a smack upside the head and a reminder from you of the kinds of things you'd love to hear about, don't be a stranger. Contact me, CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com or through my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode.

22:04 We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.