THE WORST MISTAKE You Can Make With Seduction, Women, and Dating

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for joining me on another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. If this is your first time coming to the show, welcome. What I try to do here is give the best information in the shortest amount of time possible. And if you've been writing with me for a long time, that is right, my friend.

0:32 Smack yourself on the ass. You are a champion. Thank you for listening. Thank you for coming back. I really do appreciate it. So today we are going to talk about one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when it comes to women. Now I want to let you know that I made this mistake. I was captain of this mistake, captain of the mistake football team. And I was the leader of the douchebags that did this because I was horrible, horrible back in my twenties. So I really want to share this with you guys because it's super important.

1:04 And a lot of you guys make this mistake. And what is the mistake you're wondering? It's one-nitis. Now, what is one-nitis? It means you are getting addicted to one single girl. You are focusing on this one girl. You are pying after this girl. You are supplicating to her. You are telegraphing neediness. And because of that, not only is she getting turned off by you, but you're putting yourself in a very bad feminine state, which is killing your masculinity, killing your testosterone, killing your confidence. It's just the worst mistake you can make with a woman.

1:36 So we're going to teach you how to not do that mistake moving forward, the correct action to make when you are in this situation and how you can tell that you're in that situation, which I'm going to get into first. Before I get into that, I want to thank you guys for all the awesome reviews. I really do appreciate it. I think we're up to like 136 now, and I would really love to hit 150. So if you could please help me by giving me a review on whatever platform you happen to be listening to this on, I wouldn't expect you to do it now before you've seen the content, unless you've been listening for a long time.

2:05 But do it after the podcast and see if you like it. Obviously, a five-star review is preferred. And if you could add some text to that, I would really appreciate it. I always send you guys a silent thank you when I do get a review from you. And I was thinking I have a bunch of camps that I have out in the wilderness, like different places that I go camping. And I was thinking maybe I'd name each camp after one of the guys that gave me a review.

2:29 I have quite a few reviews. I have to see how many camps I have. I have them like along my maps and stuff, different places. We go hunting, we go ATVing, we go car camping, a bunch of different places. And I was like, man, I should name all my camps after the champions who leave me reviews. So I'm thinking about doing that. How cool would that be, man? I'd be out there camping and I'd be like, let's go to Camp Michael tonight. And that's all about you.

2:48 And I'd be thinking about you the whole time, the whole time. All I'd be doing is thinking about you and your review. So if you leave me that review, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit, three programs, Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, three texts to build massive attraction in women, as well as a bunch of videos. All right, with that out of the way, let's jump into one-itis. So one-itis is when you get addicted to one girl.

3:11 And this happens to so many guys, so many clients. I've seen it happen a hundred times. And usually the reason it is, is because the girl is giving you a ho-hum kind of reaction. She's kind of into you. She's kind of not. She's giving you mixed signals and you don't know what the hell to do. So sometimes I'll get clients and it's fine, bro. Like I said, man, I was captain one-itis back in the day. I freaking invented this thing. Look up one-itis in the dictionary and there'll be my ugly mug right there in the dictionary.

3:44 So believe me, I'm not judging you, but I just want to save you from this headache. Okay. So as we know about female psychology, women like attention. They like validation. They like to keep you in the bucket as a B option in case a option falls through. Do you want to be a B option? I didn't think so. So when she's giving you mixed signals, when she's not willing to hang out, when she's giving you ho-hum responses and you come to me and you're like, bro, can you give me the magic eight words to say to get this girl?

4:11 What do I do here? What do I do there? How can I do this campaign? What I really want to tell you guys is that if she's doing this to you now, there's only two things you can do to get her attracted to you. The first thing, and you're not going to like this, but here's the first thing is the way you are now. I hate to say, but you're not attractive enough yet to get her, to really get her. She's using you. I mean, look, every situation is different.

4:32 I don't know exactly what's happening with you, but this is so common, bro. She's using you for attention, validation, and the way you are now isn't yet enough to get her attracted. Now, that doesn't mean that you can't get attractive enough, but it's going to take time. And like I talked about in my previous podcast, how long does it take? Well, I don't bullshit with you guys. It could take a couple of years. You need to experience lots of different women, cold approach, hundreds upon hundreds of women, date all kinds of girls, work on yourself.

5:03 And one of the things that I do, as many of you know, is NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming. Part of the reason she's not attracted to you is because the bullshit in your head isn't fixed yet. You still have low value mannerisms. You have insecurities. Maybe on some level, you feel like you're not enough. So you're going to come to me and be like, dude, can you give me the exact strategy to get this girl? You think it's going to be a bunch of content. Okay, bro.

5:27 Like deploy messages in water, deploy the cube. Then I want you to do a push pull at 830 on Tuesday night. Then on Thursday morning, you're going to send her a text say, there's this one thing so cute about you. I don't want to tell you it was because then you'll stop doing it. Then you don't text her back for like four hours. Then on hour number four, four hours and 15 minutes in, in 26 seconds, you are going to send her this exact message. No, it doesn't work like that.

5:51 I'm sorry, bro. It doesn't. You have to improve you. You have to work on yourself. So what do you do when you have oneitis? You pull the fuck back and you say, okay, you want to be on the fence about me? Kick rocks with your head down. I don't want anything to do you. And you pull back and then you'd fucking talk to four other girls. Brother, if you are obsessed with one girl, that is the solution. Okay. If you're obsessed with one girl, she's giving you ho-hum like responses.

6:17 She's not really into it. What you do is you pull back from her. Stop giving her the attention she's using you for. Okay. Deprive her of that. Stop giving her the validation and stop being the freaking backup batter on the baseball team. Who's like the B cut batter who no one really knows about. And he just steps up. If the first batter gets hurt, do you want to be that guy? Fuck no. Fuck no. Walk away with your dignity intact. Then what you do is you talk to four other girls.

6:43 And in the meantime, you work on yourself. Okay. Obviously I'm a coach. I'd prefer that you hire me to help you work on yourself. Cause it's like a black hole shortcut to get yourself to the attractive level. I know you want to be at in the quickest way possible. But if you're not down with that, I understand if you're not down to hire me, I get it. What you should do is work on yourself. Okay. Go to a therapist, work on your confidence, get into NLP and figure out how to reprogram your brain, which is exactly what I do.

7:09 Then what happens is as you work on yourself and look, I'm going to cut it straight with you, bro. Like if this girl's whole home about you, it could take a couple of years. Okay. I know you're like, well, bro, like I just want the eight words where she jumps in the air and slides right onto my dick. They don't exist. They don't exist. I remember a long time ago, um, a friend of the friend heard that I was a dating coach. He's like, Mark, Mark, I really want to get this one girl.

7:34 What do I say? Right. And he, he texted me this. It's, it's like, how do I land a space shuttle on the moon, Mark? And explain it to me in a text in four sentences, right? It's like, come on, bro. So I says to him, I'm like, you want to know the eight magic words that'll get her to jump in the air and slide on your dick. He's like, yeah. And I'm like, they don't exist. Motherfucker like that. It was really funny. We were all laughing about it.

7:56 But later I was like, bro, like be realistic. You have to change into an attractive man. And this doesn't happen overnight. This is a process. And I always say, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Okay. For those of us who have achieved it, I'm going to tell you straight up took me 10 years and I was a very hard case, very hard case, but I'll tell you what I can remember many girls I had one night is with bro. I would pull them so fast right now.

8:23 It's fucking ridiculous. In fact, part of me wishes I could just run into those chicks that were stringing me along, using me for validation, you know, using me for my energy in favors and keeping me as a B cut player, even a C cut player, like the minor leagues. And she called me up. If all the other better options fell through, fuck that. I'm not going to be that guy. So what you do is you work on yourself. You pull back from this girl. There isn't a strategy necessarily.

8:51 Okay. This is most of the time. Obviously I don't know your case, but there isn't a bulletproof strategy to get this girl other than working on yourself. And I'll tell you this, every single chick you cold approach, every single chick you go on a date with every single experience you have, where you purposely put social pressure on yourself, you are getting more attractive and that's what needs to happen. Words are like a polishing up a race car with a shitty Hyundai engine in it. Whereas NLP working on your confidence and putting social pressure on yourself is like fixing the engine, putting a fricking turbo on the thing, putting a new exhaust on it, putting a new intake in there.

9:31 Every time you do an inner game kind of thing, it's working on it. Now, don't get me wrong. Tactics are really important, but tactics aren't going to be enough to get a girl attracted to you when she's sitting on the fence. So the thing that kind of irritates me is when I get clients and like they think that just my tactics are going to magically woo a girl. No, no, no. The reason why I include NLP in my coaching is because building you as a man, getting you into your masculinity, becoming the best version of yourself, who has high self-esteem, high confidence, walks into the room and know he's the shit, knows how to control the frame.

10:04 Those are the most important things. The tactics, yeah, it's like, you know, the tactics I talked about in my last podcast, those two really cool things to talk about with girls. Look, those are important because they add substance for her to seek her teeth into. These are important things, but they're not everything, right? They're like the lettuce on the hamburger. The fucking meat is you working on yourself. And if she's on the fence about you, I hate to say it again, bro, but I'm just fucking straight up with my clients.

10:30 You are not there yet. You are not attractive enough yet. And hey, that's cool, man. I didn't become attractive enough until my early thirties. And I started this shit when I was 25. So look, it takes time. It's going to take perseverance. So I just want you guys to get realistic when you have one night is when you're like focused on one chick, she's dicking you around. She's not giving you sex. She's not giving it up. There, there isn't this magical strategy. Okay. But the closest thing to a magical strategy, in my opinion, obviously is hiring me as a coach.

11:04 We go hardcore with NLP, fix the bullshit in your head. I had two different sessions with two different clients today, completely remove some bullshit in their head. And at the end of the session, then they're like, bro, I can't even feel the way I felt before. Like one guy felt like he was worthless. He had so much self-worth at the end of that call. I get people emailing me after my set after their sessions. And they're like, bro, like I've never felt like this before, or I haven't felt this way since I was like three years old.

11:29 I have so much confidence. I feel amazing. And then two weeks later, I get an email. It's like, bro, I met a girl. Things are going great. She fucking is attracted to me. Whereas before she wasn't. So when you fix the bullshit in your head and look for most people, it takes more than one session. I'm going to be honest with you. But when you fix that, that's the solution. And look, I get it. Okay. Sometimes we meet a girl who just is fine as hell.

11:55 She has a great personality. She's got that feminine energy. When you have sex with her, it's like, so good. Believe me, I've been there and I've gotten one-nitis because of that. And then because you get needy, she starts pulling away and she starts realizing that you're being feminine. And that's the thing too, is that when you have one-nitis, you're in your feminine energy. Why? Because femininity wants to take, it wants to get validated. It wants to receive, right? It wants to receive the compliments and the validation and everything like that.

12:23 So when you're with a girl who you like more than she likes you, you start to get into a needy state and that's extremely unattractive. Then what happens is she starts getting less attracted to you. You feel that. So then you get more needy and more pushy and more beta cuckish where you're like, well, can you, can you hang out? Did I say something wrong? And you do all these beta cuck things. Next thing you know, she's ho-hum about you. You're totally sprung on her partially because she's ho-hum about you, by the way, she's doing a push pull on you.

12:53 She's doing mixed signals on you, which you should be doing on her. Then you're in a horrible feminine position. Now you're in a feminine energy. And what happens then? She gets even less attracted to you because she wants you to be in your masculine energy. So what does the masculine man do? Yes, you're right. Once again, he pulls away. He says, fuck you. You know, if you're not going to ride on this program, then beat it. Kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you.

13:23 Right. And then he goes and talks to other girls. And that's the big point. If you have one night is, you have to talk to four other girls. And I talked about this in a previous podcast called, I think the golden rule of seduction or something click baity like that. But it's a rule that I deploy with all my clients is you need to be talking to four girls. When you come to me and you ask me about a girl, a situation, I'm going to help you through it.

13:44 But one big warning sign for me is when I memorize her name. Why is that? Because I have an 89 year old man memory. I can't remember even my own last name half the time. So when I remember the name of the girl that you got one night is with, it's a bad sign. And I tell my guys straight up, bro, talk to other girls. Well, how do I talk to other girls? Well, that's the thing about my coaching. I put you in situations where there's a continuous stream of girls coming into your life.

14:10 So you have abundance. There's another point about one-nitis. It's a scarcity mentality. One-nitis. There's only this one girl. She's my soulmate. She's the one. She's the only one who will fulfill me. She's the only one who's ever made me feel this way. Therefore, I have to get her. That is a scarcity mentality. I guarantee you, if you had game and you had a continuous stream of girls coming into your life, as I have experienced, that is absolutely not true. There are so many girls you could be with.

14:44 I've had so many girlfriends, so many potential wives, I guess you could say, that I truly loved and I've had great relationships with. They didn't work out because they weren't an absolute perfect fit for me. But I'm telling you, there is an abundance of women out there who would be perfect for you. So when you get addicted to this one girl, it's a scarcity mentality. And half the time, it's because she chose you and it's the best you can get. It's the best you can get, not because you're worthless.

15:11 But it's because you haven't worked on yourself yet and you haven't gotten game. You haven't learned the rules. You haven't learned frame control, how to lead her to where she wants to be led. All the things that I teach in my coaching, you haven't learned that yet. So she chooses you and you're like, God damn, dude, this chick's kind of like out of my league a little bit. I'm feeling a little bit insecure, but fuck, she's so hot. I'm just going to dip in anyway. You start dipping in.

15:34 Then once again, that horrible downward spiral happens. You get needy, then you get feminine, then she gets less attracted, then your one-nightist gets exponentially more powerful. And the next thing you know, you're doomed. So the solution to it is this, okay, is if you have a fence sitter right now, a girl who you have one-nightist over, I want you to pull away and begin radically working on yourself. That is by improving your confidence, improving your self-esteem, hopefully rewriting some of the programs in your brain by either hiring a coach like me or potentially somebody else who does similar things to what I do.

16:06 Then if you're in the situation where you can do this, like you don't have a committed girlfriend who you have a one-nightist over, is you talk to four other girls. Okay. And frankly, even if you do have a girlfriend, you can have girlfriends, can't you? You're not hooking up with them. I still have girlfriends and I have a girlfriend. I have tons of girlfriends. And what that does is it lets you see that there's abundance out there. You don't have to get so addicted to this one girl because she's not the last female on earth.

16:34 It's not like that prized pussy that you're putting up on the pedestal and then handing her your ball sack and a little knapsack and say, here, take my balls. Just as long as you give me that pussy, please take my balls. So many guys do that. And I hate seeing it. I hate seeing it. Pull away. Talk to other girls. Work on yourself. You are the project you should be working on, not her. Does that make sense? You are the project, not her. When you become the project, what's probably going to happen, and I don't want to give hope to guys who are in a needy situation, but what's probably going to happen is she is going to get more attracted to you.

17:08 When you pull away, express your individuality, express your independence, express your passion for self-improvement, work on yourself, be talking to other chicks. Even just friends is okay, but I prefer, you know, somewhat romantically involved women that you meet on Tinder, that you meet through your top of pipeline ideas that I can help you create. And now you have an abundance mindset. When you have that abundance mindset, you start to act more attractive by default. And that's why I always say you should be talking to four girls at once all the time.

17:41 You should always be talking to multiple girls because then you telegraph those attractive traits that natural guys have, right? Natural guys have abundance of women. They're always talking to hot girls. They're basically like a hot girl, but they're a dude. So they have a lot of girls in their life that they're talking to. And suddenly that scarcity, feminine, fear-based, needy mentality is eliminated. You'll no longer feel like you have one-nitis because now you'll be living in abundance. And when you pull back, she's going to get more attracted to you.

18:14 But even then, I don't want you to think that this is the only girl for you. I want you to know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, plenty of soulmates out there that you would jive with just as well as you jive with her, even better in a lot of ways. Girls who would turn you on just as much. Girls who have better bodies, better asses, better tits, better blowjob. There's always better out there. I'm telling you there is. So don't make the mistake that I see so many guys make.

18:34 And if you're in a situation where you're like trying to get this girl attracted to you and she's giving you these mixed signals, brother, the only answer is to work on yourself in a radical way while at the same time going to talk to other girls. And one little strategy you could do is if you guys are connected on Instagram, you should show her that you have other women in your life. Not that you're necessarily hooking up with them, but that you have a lot of girlfriends and you have a lot of options.

19:05 That's one way to get a fence sitter attracted to you. All right. I hope this helped you guys. You know, even if you're not suffering from oneitis right now, it could happen in the future. So this is something to definitely keep in mind as a general rule. I like to hold myself back until the woman is attracted to me. And then I let myself become more into her because I found that when the guy likes the woman more, it usually doesn't work out. And that's just a frame control kind of thing, right?

19:31 Is as the man, we want to lead. And as the leader, we are the one who needs to be in power. And the one who is in power is the person who wants less. Think about that. The one who is in power is the person who wants less. So if you can control your emotions, let her fall for you first by using all the awesome tactics that I teach, as well as working on yourself in a radical way to completely shift yourself into the highest self-esteem champion that you're supposed to be, she will get attracted to you.

20:00 One last thought I had on this that was pretty interesting. I actually just thought about it when I was walking down here to record this is when guys get really sprung on a girl, they turn into a girl and they get really weepy and they get really sad. And like when a girl breaks up with a guy, the guy basically turns into a girl. He cries on his bed. He turns into a little bitch just like I did when I was cheated on by my first love.

20:22 And girls, when they get broken hearted, what do they do? They go into their masculine and become fucking violent. They fucking throw bricks through your car window, key your car, stalker Texas Ranger, freaking fight the other girl you're dating. Like I have seen some rage in the cage for women when they get their heart broken. So it's kind of interesting to me. Isn't that interesting? Like girls go into their masculine when they're hurt and then guys go into their feminine when they're hurt. And oh my God, I have seen some feminine ass shit happen with some of my clients, some of my boys.

20:54 And I want to say mostly with myself, mostly with me. So if you're going into the feminine role, hey, I'm not judging you, bro. Trust me. I was sergeant female back in the day before I discovered all this stuff. So once again, I hope this helped you out. If you find value in this episode or in this podcast as a whole, I very much would appreciate that review. Jump over there right now and help a dude out. You know, it's the best way you can help me.

21:16 I try to put a lot of good information out there for you guys and really try to help you. So if you want to reciprocate that love a little bit, the best way you could do it is to leave me a review and then email me and let me know you did it, bro. And I'll name that campsite after you. Camp Adam, dude. That would be so tight, right? All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.