THIS is The Exact Step by Step Thinking Process of an Expert Pick up Artist

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. This one's really important, so we're going to go ahead and jump straight into the content. So this is the way an expert pickup artist thinks. And what I want to do in this episode is explain all the ways that I think my friends think who are really good with women.

0:31 And I want you to compare yourself to how we are. I want you to compare your thoughts, your actions, the kind of things that you process when dealing with women, both before and during dealing with women, so that you can kind of get a gauge of where you're at. And then, of course, awareness alone is curative. So when you realize some of the things that you're doing wrong, realize some of the things that you can improve, then simply choose to believe these things. Some of them obviously are going to feel a little bit unnatural for you when you first begin delving into them.

1:07 But if you just have an open mind and say, you know what, I think I can start to think this way and I want to be open-minded to thinking this way. And when you do that, your mind will open in ways and it will transform in ways that are conducive to attracting women. Because the way that you think is really indicative of the results that you're going to get. It all starts inside the head. You guys have heard me say this a million times. That's why I'm an NLP coach.

1:31 It all starts with your thinking process. So if you can adapt and adopt a lot of these thinking processes into how you deal with women, your results are going to naturally go up. Why? Because the way you think dictates your behavior, your behavior dictates her attraction for you. So if you think in the quote unquote right ways, the ways that guys that are good with women think, you're going to act that way and thus get the results that those guys get, which is women attracted to you.

1:54 So I want you to kind of first think about, well, what do I believe some of the things that pickup artists think are? What kind of things are these? Well, obviously confidence, right? They totally believe in themselves. And from that confidence, they also believe that they are the prize. She's the one submitting the application. They're not the one submitting an application. She's the one who's trying to seduce them. They're not trying to seduce her. So anytime I, as well as my buddies go into an interaction, we always think that she's kind of lucky to be talking to us and that she's trying to get us.

2:31 When you have that frame, you behave correctly because what is one of the biggest things that's attractive to women? Outcome independence. Outcome independence means I don't give a shit what happens in this interaction. You're the one who's entertaining me. I don't care if you like me or not because I have a million other options. So I'm going to take those options. If you don't like it, kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you, as I often say.

2:52 So the first thing is confidence. The second thing is obviously you believe that you're the prize. You are the hot chick. And I want you guys to really consider taking that on. Like right now you're listening to it and you're like, brother, I don't feel like the hot chick. Okay. I don't feel like a lot of girls want me. I don't feel like I'm the prize. I don't feel like that dude. But what we do in NLP is we just entertain the thought of pretending that you're that dude.

3:14 Just entertain it. Okay. I'm not expecting you to believe it, but just pretend with me right now, just like you used to pretend on the schoolyard that we were army soldiers. Or sometimes you may pretend that you're a millionaire in your visions or you pretend you have hot girls. Let's just pretend that you are the hot chick. Tons of girls like you, you are the prize. She's the one submitting the application. Now that you've pretended that you can get a little bit more in tune with what that feels like.

3:41 And I want you to just entertain that notion for the next several weeks. I'm not expecting you to believe it. I'm not expecting you to become it. I just want you to entertain it. And then maybe, you know, if you entertain it enough, you'll start to believe it. And that's the process. So immediately we're confident. We believe we're the prize. She's the one submitting the application. She's lucky to be talking to us. And that's the next one. When I see a girl, I literally think to myself, you're so stoked.

4:05 You are so fucking pumped right now because you're about to talk to Mark Singh. Now you may be thinking, well, dude, you're a dating coach. You know what to say. You know how to entertain her. Whereas me, you, the listener say to yourself, I don't know what to talk about. I don't know how to entertain her. Well, if you think about it from an energetic perspective, what you talk about actually isn't that important. To be honest with you guys, boys, sometimes I will purposely leave out all my content, leave out the things that I know I should do and talk about things like the weather.

4:38 Talk about things like politics. Talk about even things like religion and spirituality. I'm really into. I'm not religious. I'm spiritual. But talk about those things that aren't conducive to attraction just to see if my vibe can get her attracted to me. And it works. I've gotten girls attracted to me when I'm completely not trying, when I'm actually trying to do the opposite. Why is that? Because of vibration. I call it an attraction vibration where if I'm feeling better than you, like let's say you're listening to this podcast right now and you don't feel really good.

5:08 Well, I do feel good. I'm pumped up. I'm feeling my heart right now. I'm having good energy. I think part of the reason my podcast is so successful is because I give that good energy to you guys. States are contagious. So the way I think of it is I'm usually in a good state because I've been working on my state. I meditate every single day. I practice being in the present moment, which has been scientifically proven to raise your energy vibration. And when people are exposed to me, they feel better from having been around me.

5:33 This too is why sometimes when you're feeling good, like you get a good haircut and you're walking down the street and you're feeling like a fucking champ and all these girls are checking you out. You think it's your haircut, haircut. But what it is, is how you feel about the haircut. It's the vibration. And from vibration comes attraction. So when I go speak to a woman, even if I have absolutely nothing to say, I always think she's lucky to be talking to me because I'm going to simply raise her state.

5:58 Being in my presence raises your state. And I feel it's even true across a podcast. If you're watching on video, that's one thing, even audio. Just listening to this content, I believe is a carrier of the high vibrational frequency of good energy and it makes you feel better. And again, that's why I think I'm not only successful in my podcast, but also with women because I have good vibes. I know how to cultivate my vibes. I believe in my vibes. I believe in myself. Therefore, women get attracted to me because I make them feel better.

6:30 So immediately when I see a hot girl, I'm like, oh, she's stoked. She's about to talk to me. And I know all my friends feel the same way. We often argue with each other. I'm going to go open that girl. No, I am. Who's she going to be more pumped to talk to? Obviously me. And then my buddy's like, obviously me. And we have a fun frame control battle. But that just goes to show that we believe in ourselves so wholeheartedly. We believe in the positive energy that we put out onto the world that we actually feel like we're a better option than the other dude.

6:59 Even when the other dude is an expert pickup artist. A lot of you guys have a belief system. I'm not enough, but more importantly, other guys would be better for her than I would. That is a really self-deprecating belief system because you think that other dudes are better than you. When you go talk to her, you're going to telegraph that. And that's why women don't get attracted to you. And also from the law of attraction perspective, which means like energy attracts like energy, you're pushing girls away from you.

7:25 If you don't think you're good enough for them, if you think you're inconveniencing them, or you think that they'll be better with a different dude, as opposed to you, you're literally pushing chicks away from yourself. So the expert pickup artist is always like, dude, she's stoked to be talking to me. She just won the lottery. It's the equivalent of me going up and handing her a hundred bucks. And that's the way I think. So when I go up, I don't fear rejection. I fear not going up.

7:48 And that's another thing too, is expert pickup artists beat themselves up more for not approaching than the fear that they have of approaching. So I'm more afraid of the absolute hell I'm going to give myself if I don't approach that hot girl, then if she rejects me. Now, if she were to reject me, how do you think an expert pickup artist is going to reframe that? That's right. I can hear you guys as a chorus answering that question. Her loss, her loss, her loss, her loss.

8:17 And I think that every single time I will literally walk away from a rejection, shaking my head and being like, what an idiot, dude. PST, like moron. You guys ever see that guy, Ed Bassmaster on Facebook? He's always like, get out of here, you idiot. Beat it, you moron. He's so good at doing that. And that's the way I think about it. Like if you reject me, you are literally an idiot because your filter is broken. You don't understand the value that you just kicked to the curb.

8:45 Your filter is fucked up. You don't get it. You're dumb. That's literally what I think. Now, of course, boys, if she's cool about it and she's like, hey, I have a boyfriend or I'm sorry, I'm not interested. I'm not a dick about it. But especially when they are bitchy to me, that's what I literally think in my head. You are an idiot. Talk to the palm because you're not the bomb is literally what I will say sometimes when they're freaking a big old bitch to me.

9:09 I won't say it often, but if they're super negative, what I do is when they reject me, I say, what? What's that you say? And they go to say it again. And then when they do that, I put my palm up kind of in their face, like a foot away. And I'm like, whatever. Don't want to talk to you anyway. And I walk away because that's the way an expert pickup artist thinks. He thinks you don't understand the value that's in front of you. So it's your loss.

9:33 I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince you of it. I'm not going to waste my time trying to be heard about it because it's you. It's not me. And that's the way anybody thinks who's highly internally validated, which is masculine. Internal validation is if you don't recognize the value of me, if you can't respect the value of what I'm bringing you, that's your issue. I don't even want to waste my energy on you anymore because again, I have good energy. I am a light onto this world.

9:59 I'm a high vibrating frequency that I'm spreading throughout the world. If you don't want to take it, it's your loss, right? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. And that's the philosophy of when I go approach a woman, she's stoked. She's about to go talk to Mark Singh. Now, another thing is when I'm speaking to her, if the conversation isn't going well, do you think I blame me? Fuck no. It's partially her fault too. If the conversation is boring, I reframe it in two different ways.

10:24 First of all, her and I just don't jive. Or secondly, she's boring and not fun to talk to. So instead of blaming it on me, like I don't have enough to talk about. I'm not bringing enough value. It's on her because I know I'm enough value. How many times have you guys gone into conversations that just went really well? I'm sure hundreds, if not thousands of times for every single one of you guys. So what was the difference there? If you're not enough and you're not good at conversations, then why did those conversations go good?

10:55 It's because you and the person jived. So the reason you jived can't be explained. You just did. So why is it your fault? So if I go into a conversation with a girl and she's just weird and we don't jive. And look at what I just said. She's just weird. I didn't even think about it was my fault because that's how much I reframe it in my head. She's weird. She doesn't get it. She can't jive. So it's her issue. It's like when I put something up on Instagram that's really funny.

11:22 I think I did the other day, a hug dealer, right? I'm like, come here, give me a hug. I'm a hug dealer. And somebody wrote like, oh, that's stupid. I'm like, bro, you don't get it. You haven't been in set enough times. You haven't spent tens of thousands of hours in the nightclub. You haven't been around women who are in a party mode. So you don't get it. Do you think I sit here on the other side of my computer? Like, oh, they don't like my content.

11:41 Like I'm a really bad pickup artist coach. No, because I know I'm the real deal. I've been in set tens of thousands of fucking times. I know what works with chicks. I've seen it and I've taught it to dudes who too have done it. The evidence is there. So if somebody doesn't like my techniques or hates on me, I'm like, dude, you're the one who's lost. It has nothing to do with me. So when speaking to a woman and the conversation goes bad, it's on her.

12:05 And many times I'll walk away being like, oh, she was boring. She wasn't fun to talk to. Why can I think that? Because I've been in set so many times that I've gone well and I've made so many girls laugh, have gotten so many numbers. There's been so much positive evidence behind it that when it goes badly, quote unquote, it's not me, it's them. Also when she's uncomfortable, it's her. She can't be comfortable in the conversation. That's her problem. She says something negative. I don't take it as a front against me.

12:30 It has nothing to do with me. It's her. So somebody hates on you. Where's that coming from? It's coming from them, their negativity. So an expert pickup artist when he's in set and if she's being negative or dismissive or like standoffish or whatever it is, that's her issue. And that's always the way he thinks. And here's the interesting irony is when you think that you don't care and when you don't care, it goes well for you. The more you let something go, the more it comes towards you.

12:59 It's one of the ironies of life and it's super true when it comes to women. When you try to bind a woman and you're jealous and you try to control her, what happens? She runs away into the arms of another man. When you have self-confidence and you're allowing her to do what she wants to do and be who she wants to be, she's going to stay with you. That's the way to keep a woman is not try to keep her, not try to put her in a certain place and like hold her there like she's in jail.

13:23 No, do what you want, be who you are. And you know what? If you find another dude you want to be with, better for me because that means that you and I weren't meant to be and it's not going to work out anyway. So go be with the dude. Jealousy, trying to control women, all that kind of stuff is low value. It comes from a low vibrating energy of insecurity. So it's the same thing when you're in set is if you're not willing to participate, if you're not positive and having a good time, that's on you.

13:50 Okay. If she doesn't give me your phone number, do you think I sit there being like, oh, I'm not worth it. She didn't like me. No, there just wasn't enough attraction. And this is the reason I tell you guys don't go for the phone number until you know she's attracted. So you don't get those rejections, thus putting yourself in a negative feedback loop and giving you more anxiety. So I don't even go for the phone number until she's like massively attracted to me. I'm getting four or five, six signs of attraction.

14:18 She's even hinting at, hey, what are you doing this weekend? Do you like to go to this and this place on the weekends? What do you do for fun? They're going to drop these little hints. And I suggest you guys don't even go for the number until you get those hints. Thus keeping you in that positive feedback loop of having a high free throw record where you're just doing swish after swish because you read the signs. But even if she doesn't give me your phone number, like she's like, I don't know.

14:43 I don't think so. I'll be like, you're lost, right? That's the way I think of it. So after I get her number, if she doesn't text me back, what do you think I think? That's right, dude. You're starting to get it now. I think her loss, she's an idiot or she's boring over text. It's not because my content is dry. It's because she's dry. She's boring. One of the things I say when she's being super dry and boring over text is, hey, Sarah, I found an awesome new way to fall asleep.

15:05 Want to know what it is? And she's like, what? Texting with you. And that's because I'm internally validated. I know my texting game is on point. So if she's not able to bring it back to my level, her issue. If she's boring doing LOLs, ha ha has, and I don't knows to me, her issue. One of the best things you can do when a woman is pulling back is you pull back more. Okay? She goes this much, you go that much more. And the reason this is high value is because it works into my golden rule of seduction, which is what would I do if I were dating four girls?

15:38 Would I try to chase her on text? Would I be butthurt that she's not really participating? No, I just pull back. I lose interest. I lose interest. And that too happens when I'm speaking to girls who are boring. I'm just like talking to them. And then I start kind of looking around because her reactions are boring. And I'm saying like some really awesome content, like I'm giving her all the techniques that I teach you guys. And she's just like, as boring as watching paint dry, I start kind of being aloof looking around.

16:02 And then like, I'll just be like, hey, good to talk to you. And I'll just walk off. Thus communicating to her like, dude, you couldn't hold my attention. I'm the prize. I'm the hot chick. This is the way an expert pickup artist thinks. An expert pickup artist also thinks that from quantity comes quality. A lot of people who listen to dating content like this, they think they're going to have like a sniper approach. Like I'm just going to get the good skill set. I'm going to find the girl and sniper.

16:27 And then that's going to be my girl forever. No, it's a shotgun approach. Okay. We're talking to all kinds of girls. We're dating all kinds of girls. We got massive hooks in the water. I'm talking dating apps, cold approach, nightclubs, top of funnel ideas, social circle game. We're including all of them to have many hooks in the water so that you're always catching fish, right? You're catching fish after fish after fish. And if they don't make the cut, they don't make the cut. You always make the cut.

16:53 Okay. As far as you're concerned, who is judging whether or not you make the cut? Whose judgment matters? That's right, man. You're getting it. It's you. Your judgment is the only one who matters as to whether or not you make the cut. Do you know what expecting girls to validate you is? It's external validation. It's feminine, feminine. Why do you think women love likes on Instagram and love to be pursued by dudes? Go on the dating apps just to get attention and also go out to nightclubs just to get attention because they're externally validated.

17:24 And that's okay for a woman. That's feminine. But in the carburetor of a man, if you're expecting a woman to validate you, if you get butthurt about being rejected, that's on you, brother. And it shows that you're externally validated in your feminine energy. So we don't give a shit if she likes us or not. We don't give a shit if it goes well or not. Why? I have more chicks in my bucket than I can handle. Like I'm catching so many fish that all need to be filleted and made into delicious dinners.

17:51 I just don't have the time. So if you're going to give me a fight, if you're going to be a disgusting fish, you're going back in the water. I don't need you. Next, please. All right. The next thing, guys, actually has to do with something that just happened. I'm down here in my basement recording my podcast and the Roomba, the iRobot, you know, the little robot that cleans the kitchen, starts going and it's just above me. It's like, and I'm like, I cannot focus while doing this.

18:14 And I'm filming this on my phone. So instead of being able to stop it from my app on my phone, I had to run upstairs and turn them off. Now, a guy who's really good with women doesn't get negatively affected by those kinds of situations. So in life, we always say that you have this inner balance points, your inner state of centeredness. Things are going to go wrong in your life. And people who have a weak inner state of centeredness, a weak frame, get affected negatively by those things that go wrong.

18:41 So I'm recording the podcast. I'm totally in the groove. And then the Roomba starts going right. And it's all the way upstairs and I have to pause everything and restart again, figure out where I was. But a person with a weak reality would get pissed off at that. You'd fucking toss the Roomba out the kitchen window, which is what I wanted to do. Turn that thing into a Frisbee and launch it halfway across the street. But because I've been working on myself so much, I'm like, okay, it's a break for me.

19:05 Let me go turn that thing off. Let me regroup and I'll start again. See guys who are affected easily by the outside circumstances of their life get butthurt, angry. They get negative about those situations. Guys who are expert pickup artists who are good with women aren't so easily thrown off that interstate of centeredness. And this is called frame control. Frame control not only has to do with control in the frame with women, quote unquote, but it's also control in the frame with your life. So when it comes to women, an expert pickup artist thinks that his reality, the way that he interprets everything that happens in his life is the best for him, is the absolute best.

19:43 So if in any way she questions him, if in any way she tries to get him to do her favors, if in any way she tries to bitch slap him into beta cuck mode, he's going to literally laugh at her like she just said a funny ass joke. Even if she says something really mean to him, it's funny to him because he's so ensconced in his reality. So the way an expert pickup artist thinks is, it's my way or the highway, if you can't get on board with that, I'm afraid I can't help you with that.

20:13 And that's literally what I'll say to women sometimes. Hey, listen, I can see you're thinking this way. I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Or I can see you're thinking this way. Go ahead and think that way. I can see it's really important to you to think that opinion, to have that opinion about the situation. So go ahead and think that. I'll let you do that. And that too is a strong frame is I'm going to let you have your frame because it has so little effect on my frame.

20:37 So when dating women, boys, I want you to reframe everything just like I'm talking about. You have to choose the frames that go around any interpretation of reality. And that's why it's called frame control. It's a literally like a picture frame that surrounds the picture that you're looking at. You can have a girl looking at a picture and a guy looking at a picture. They will interpret it in two completely different ways. This is actually a phenomenon in NLP that's really interesting. You'll have two different people look at the same picture.

21:07 They'll see something completely different. It's really, really crazy. When you do the research, I might do a podcast episode on it. But the difference is the frame that goes around it. So anytime you're dealing with a situation, a person, an interpreted meaning of an interaction, your frame has to be the strongest for you. Don't buy into other people's frames, including rejections. That's her frame. It's a skinny, weak, half dead sparrow compared to the alpha silverback of your frame. And that's the way I want you guys to interpret it.

21:34 So once again, guys, confidence, you're the prize. She's the one submitting the application. She's lucky to be talking to you. Why? Because you have good energy. If the conversation is going bad, that's her bad. It's not yours. If she doesn't give you her phone number, that's her loss. It's not yours. She's boring over text. Text her something like, hey, my back is killing me. Want to know why? She's like, why? You say from carrying this conversation. If she doesn't want to hang out with you, her loss on the first date, you're leading it.

22:01 You're showing her a good time, leading her to where she wants to be led and not second guessing yourself. You know that you're the shit. When you kiss her, of course, it's when she's ready to be kissed. But you should feel inside your heart that this girl is so stoked to be able to kiss me right now. I am an excellent kisser. And that goes to sex too. You should be proud of your red helmeted warrior in your pants and think, dude, when this bad Jackson comes out, it's going to tear shit up like Ron Jeremy in a midget colony doing anal on all those poor midgets.

22:28 That's the way I want you guys to think. Of course, you're not trying to hurt her during sex. You want to be caring and all that stuff. But what I'm saying is you're such a badass, alpha silverback, goddamn unapologetic legend that when that shit comes out and you're ready to have sex with her, it is the best day of her life. And that's the way I want you guys to think because this is the way an expert pickup artist thinks. Finally, he has lots of hooks in the water.

22:53 He always asks himself, what would I do if I were dating four girls? He runs every decision through that matrix and thus he acts correctly through every decision. Now, here's what's going to happen to you. When you think like this, you're going to start getting better results. Once you get the results, it's going to substantiate and further back up your new way of thinking. That new way of thinking is going to become your standard way of thinking. Once it becomes your standard way of thinking, you're going to get even more girls attracted to you, more girls into the top of your funnel, more girls into your life.

23:22 You're going to start nixing out girls who literally are boring while talking to them, who aren't texting you back because they don't see your value. And you're going to literally think that way. Once you start thinking that way, you're going to get more and more girls. And like I've said in a previous podcast, it's a snowball effect. It just gets more and more and more until you have more girls than you know what to do with. Now you're fighting them off because your dick looks like a shriveled burn victim hiding in the corner of your underwear being like, don't put me back in coach.

23:50 I can't go back and you're like, get in there motherfucker. We've been waiting for this dude for 15 years. Get in there. But boys, let me tell you this. You don't need to indulge in all of it as quickly as possible because once you have the skillset, you can't lose it. It's just like making money. Once you make 10 grand a month, you won't go down below that. Once you make 15, you won't go below it. Once you make 20, you won't go below it. And even if you do go below it for a little while, you'll get back there very soon.

24:18 Very, very soon. It's the same thing with chicks. Once you get sevens, you always get sevens. Then you go up to eights and nines and you have this many girls, this much skillset. You'll never really fall below that unless of course you let yourself go. You don't continue practicing the skillset. But I want you to know that once you get abundance, abundance is there to stay. Once you live in that energy, you won't choose to live in a different energy. Therefore, that energy can't leave you.

24:44 And that too is the thoughts of an expert pickup artist. There's millions upon millions of beautiful women out there who are not only beautiful, but caring, loving, smart, have good personalities, are actually good to text with, which I know is a really hard thing to find in women. There are dime pieces out there. Once you start thinking that more and more, that abundance, then you're going to attract yourself abundance. From abundance, from quantity, you pick the quality ones. And now you're a bonafide expert pickup artist yourself because you changed the way that you think about it.

25:15 Right here, and I'm pointing at my head for those of you listening on audio only, right here is the most important place. So start exploring those new belief systems. Start taking on the ones that you feel comfortable with. And the ones that you don't feel comfortable with, just pretend. For the next two weeks, just pretend you actually believe it. How would I behave if I actually believe this thing? What would I be like? And just act that way. Pretend you're in a play. Pretend you're on a Broadway stage and you're just acting it out.

25:40 The next time you go into 7-Eleven or Starbucks or the nightclubs or the supermarket, wherever you happen to be, just for a few minutes, do me the favor, act like that guy. That guy that I just explained and watch what happens. Your energy is going to change. Thus, women's reaction to you is going to change. You're going to get better results. Those results are going to get substantiated and it's like a snowball on and on and on. I want that to happen for each and every single one of you champions because you took the time to listen to my podcast today.

26:11 So thank you so much for listening, boys. I hope you got some valuable content out of this one. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. I got an awesome one coming up this Monday. So stay tuned for that one and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.