Meet The ONE THING That Will Make or Break Your Success in Life: T.E.A.M.

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, you legends? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today, I am going to give you one of the biggest things that I swear will completely change your life. So if you clicked on this one, I'm proud of you. You're not just interested in getting girls and all the techniques because I'll tell you what, man, those podcast episodes always get the most views.

0:35 It's like how to get a girl's phone number in two easy steps. It's like, bing, bing, bing, people just smashing that fucking play button. But things like this, where I talk about developing yourself as a man, how to get the most out of life possible, they get a decent amount of clicks, but not like those ones do. So if you clicked on this, you are a champion because personally, I feel it's episodes like this that will get you the best results where you don't even need all those tricks.

0:57 I mean, you'll just come up with them yourself. But when it comes to women, having the inner confidence, having your shit together, having a life that women want to be a part of is the biggest part of it. So if you're listening to this, smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, it blows the mustache off your best friend's face because you are a goddamn champion. All right, gentlemen, let's just jump straight into the content. So what am I talking about team? It's exactly as it sounds, you canyon mule.

1:23 It means team the people who you surround yourself with. This is so unbelievably important. And stay tuned until the end because I'm saving the most important one for the end. This is the one that is going to completely change your life. This is the one that is either going to make or break your success. And a lot of guys listening are going to agree with me when I tell you what it is. Some of you may be able to guess, but some of you might be guessing, but your guess is all wrong.

1:48 So I'm going to reveal that to you. It's going to be the fifth one. Let's jump right into it. The first and perhaps most important one to start out with, second most important, is friends. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Now, as cliche as this all is, we do have to address it because friends will either make or break you. What's that cliche saying that everybody likes to say? You are the average of the five people you hang out with? Man, like if you're hanging out with people who are unmotivated, playing video games, eating like shit, doing drugs, not having really good jobs, not trying to better themselves, that's what you're going to do too.

2:24 So immediately when you hear this and immediately with you guys who are listening to a podcast like this one, you're like, yeah, I know this, but sometimes I have friends who have been with me for life and I can't just blow them out. Like he lives next door to me. He lives in my house. We live in the same apartment. How do I get rid of somebody like this? I was talking to a girl about this this weekend. Her name is Lindsay and she's starting to change her life and she's like, I just want to cull the herd.

2:47 You know, I want to clip off the roses of my bush of those people who are not benefiting me. And I said to her, what's interesting about when you clip off roses, another one grows in its place and it grows better and it grows more healthy than it did the previous one. So it was a good analogy. But I told her the way to do it is to just kind of start falling off the map, right? Like don't always agree to go out with them. Don't return their texts.

3:08 Just start putting in less and less effort to get rid of those people that aren't conducive to your success. And I hate to say it, but most people won't be. Most people settle for mediocrity. That's why we have a society and I'm not judging people like that. It takes all kinds to make a world. But for guys like you and me, like we want that higher up level. You ever see that show suits where he's like, most people live down here. I want to live up here.

3:34 That's you and me, man. And I know that's you because you're listening to a podcast like this one. That's me too. So when I started getting into self-development, I really started getting rid of those people that weren't conducive to my success. And what happens nature abhors a vacuum. So when you get rid of certain people, more people come in, people who are going for success, want to make more money, want to get hotter girls. So the first thing we do is we look at our friends group.

4:00 I know it's hard. I know you feel guilty, but this is absolutely necessary if you want to get to that higher level. So you look at your friends. Are they helping me or are they hurting me? Is this a person who I would want to take into a challenge? Is this a person who I might want to start a business with? Is this a person I can look up to? Is a huge question you should be asking because if you can't look up to your friends, then what does that say about them?

4:20 And furthermore, when you introduce a girl to your friends, she's judging you based on your friends. You could tell a lot about a person based on their friendships and based on what those guys are. And a lot of our friends just aren't doing so well and they're not really going anywhere. And yeah, the higher up you go, the harder girls you get, the more money you make, it's harder and more difficult to find high quality friends, but they are out there. One of the things I always suggest when it comes to making new friends is meet them through a hobby that you're interested in.

4:49 Meet them through a that successful people do. Okay. Where do guys who get tons of chicks go? Where do they go? Nightclubs, perhaps? Really high-end bars, places where hot girls are. So one of the best ways that I met one of my wingmen was, I went to a high-end nightclub and I saw him there doing really good with the ladies. And I walked up to him and I said, Hey man, my name is Mark. What's your name? And he told me his name. And then I said, you know, I noticed you're doing really good with the girls.

5:17 You ever study this pickup stuff? And he's like, Oh yeah, totally. And then we were friends right off the bat. He helped me get girls. I helped him get girls. And that's how you get a good wingman is you go to the place where he's doing what you want to do with him. So the first thing we need to look at is our friends. Yeah, it's cliche to say how you're the average of the five people you hang out with, but it's true, man. I mean, it's really true.

5:38 I know the people I have in my life now compared to the people I used to have in my life, night and day difference, completely different. And it's because of them that I've been able to ascend to the level I've been able to ascend to. And now I'm looking even higher up. How am I going to meet those next level people? Well, you put yourself in situations where those people congregate and you're just cool to them. It's just like getting a girl. You don't want to like try to sleep with them on the first date as it were, you campaign them, you take time, you get to know them.

6:06 And then you say, Hey man, you're pretty cool. Why don't we play golf one Sunday or do whatever with each other? And then you can cultivate a good friendship moving forward. All right. The next tip are the people who work for you. Now I know a lot of you guys don't have people working for you, but you kind of actually do where you take your dry cleaning, who cleans your car. If somebody cleans your car, what kind of food you're eating or in situation like me, I have salespeople, I have assistant coaches, I have assistants who work for me that I choose very, very carefully.

6:36 I choose them based on their character. I choose them based on whether or not I feel they want to do the right thing for my clients. I choose them based on their work ethic and just the vibe that I get from them. So if you're building a business and I know a lot of guys are watching this are building a business who you choose to select to help you out with your delegation, which means you delegate certain duties to them is everything. And a lot of times you got to go through a certain number of people.

7:03 But my big advice is always follow your gut. Like if your gut is telling you, man, this person just feels right. I always go with it. My buddy, Victor Lynch, who's my partner in this business now, he started as my client. And when he was my client, I really liked him. We really jived. And then he fell off for a couple of years, got a really smoking hot girlfriend, got a really good life, was a salesman. And then we started talking again and we started hanging out.

7:28 And he's like, hey, dude, do you need a salesman? And I'm like, yeah, I've been thinking about going from selling my own packages to having somebody sell them for me. So I trained him up. We got him certified in NLP. And I just had a good feeling about the dude. In fact, a week before he wrote me, I was thinking to myself, I think it's time to hire a salesman. And I was like, dude, where am I going to get somebody like that? Am I going to go on Upwork and try to find them?

7:52 This is going to be a total David Hasselhoff. I don't want to deal with it. And then out of the blue, he asked me, he's like, have you ever thought about getting a salesman? Because I'm a pretty good salesman and I can talk to your guys. And I've been through the program and I care about their success. So what do you think? And I was like, is there a mustache in Mexico? Let's do this shit. And the same thing happens with my assistant coaches. They were in my coaching program.

8:15 They were just two really good fucking dudes who were kind of like the A students. And they were really trying hard to better themselves with women. I gave it some time. I trained them. And now they're my assistant coaches. So my business is based on giving more to others than you hope to get back in return. So it's not a small investment to work with me, but I want every dollar that a client puts into me to yield 10, 20, a hundred out the other side. Now you may be thinking, but you're a dating coach.

8:41 How do you yield money out the other side? Because the way I look at it is wasted dates, wasted money on dates, wasted going to the nightclubs, wasted buying all this clothes and jewelry and cars and bullshit to try to impress a girl. When, when you just fix what's going on inside your head, that's going to yield much better results with a small investment upfront. So that's the way you guys need to look at things too, is how much is this investment getting, get me out the other side.

9:06 And I hate to say, you have to look at your friends that way too. You have to look at people you work with that way too. Anybody in your vicinity, you have to take them through that vetting process. Now it may seem selfish, but when you go into a giving and you say, dude, I want to hook this guy up like Victor. I'm always thinking like, how can I make this dude more money? How can I make him more successful? I'm always thinking of business ideas for him.

9:26 So the fact that he came to me in a humble way, went through my course and then came to me and said, Hey man, can you train me up? Can I be your salesman? I'm like, dude, let's do this. I'm going to give you everything I have because I give more than I ask for in return. And then what happens? He gives me more back. So in these relationships, not only do you want to find the right people, but when you find them, treat them like gold, hook them up, give, give, give, because when you give, you get back to you.

9:55 All right. The third one is the people who you surround yourself with on media, podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagram, all that stuff. You want to be very careful who you follow. Obviously you're following me. So I have to agree very wholeheartedly with that decision. You are a goddamn brilliant champion if I do say so myself. But if you're following negative people, people with big egos, people who are just trying to sell you some bullshit, that's not going to do anything for you. Obviously it's going to bring you down.

10:21 So be very careful about who you choose to follow. A couple of people who I really admire are Jocko Willink of the Jocko podcast. I like David Goggins. He has media all over the place. I really like Ed Milet. Ed Milet. He has really good podcast. He's interviewed by a bunch of people, has a really good Instagram. These are high level people that I'm trying to get up to their level. And so that's what you do is you surround yourself with their thoughts. You surround yourself with their philosophy, their frame.

10:50 And then when you do that, it becomes part of you. It's like a small burning fire that's placed to a big burning fire. That small fire is going to start burning brightly, right? That's the philosophy that you want to surround yourself with those people who you want to be like and nothing else. Do not surround yourself with friends who bring you down. Do not surround yourself with the team in any way whatsoever that brings you down. Even a cleaning lady who comes in complaining and being negative, get rid of her and find a new person who's positive if you want to be positive.

11:21 And then of course, the media that you watch. Be very careful, as I talked about in a recent episode as well, about what you click on. Is this person benefiting me or are they taken away from me? I do appreciate you listening to my content. I definitely think it's positive and I think it's going to help you grow. I really feel you made a good decision on that one and I do appreciate it. All right. The next one is coaches, boys. I cannot express this enough how passionate I am about this.

11:41 I'm actually just about to drop seven G's on an Instagram coach to help me with some ads. I not only do that, I dropped 20 G's recently to get some accelerated NLP coaching. I've dropped money all over the place because a really wise man said to me once, until you're making $250,000, don't invest any money outside yourself. What does that mean? Only invest in yourself, invest in coaches, invest in training, invest in becoming that next level dude. Until you're making 250 grand, and I completely agree with this, and I'm going to tell this same thing to my daughter.

12:20 Until you're cracking 250 G's, and even when you are cracking 250 G's, invest in yourself, invest in yourself. I'm going to personally invest in that little girl. I'm going to get her trained up in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. She's going to be bilingual. She's going to be extremely educated on money. She's going to be educated on social dynamics, persuasion, NLP, all of it. We are just dumping that shit into her head because I want her to be successful. So if I'm telling you guys to invest in yourself, then I have to both invest in myself and invest in my daughter.

12:51 Marissa also invests in herself. That's what we do. We call ourselves a power couple because we want to get to that next level. How do you get to the next level? You do it by hiring somebody who's already been there to show you the way. I've always had this philosophy. I remember when I was in college, I would live on $20 a week. This was back in 1995. 20 bucks a week. That's how much I had to live on as far as food is concerned. I would go to Burger King and order two Whoppers, each a dollar each.

13:20 And that would be my entire meal for the day. Even when I was making that much money, I wanted to be a punk drummer. So I saved my money. I was nickel and diming every single day. And I finally had enough money to hire a one hour session with a professional punk drummer from this old band called Fury 66. So he comes over to my house, teaches me all this stuff. And my drumming went up exponentially. I was able to get into a band. And then I was in a punk band for the duration of my college, which by the way, is one of the reasons I don't drink is because it was a straight edge punk band and straight edges.

13:50 You don't do drugs. So that was our whole MO. And then after college, I just saw that drinking would typically bring people down. So I chose not to do it. But I hired that drummer because I know that if I want to get to a certain level, why wouldn't I hire the guy that's already been there to show me the shortcuts? I just don't understand why more people don't do this. Now, a lot of people are like, I don't have the money or they're going to rip me off.

14:12 There's a bunch of scams out there. That's scarcity mentality. And let me ask you this, who gave you that mentality? Probably by somebody who you surround yourself with. Am I wrong? Maybe your dad, your mom, friends who are like, everybody's trying to scam you. Everybody's trying to get something from you. But then a good opportunity comes where you can get to the level that you want to get to by hiring somebody. And then you pass it up because you think it's too good to be true.

14:33 So I would advise you to look at that kind of mindset and analyze it and say, is this mine or somebody else's? Would I like to be around somebody who thinks more positively and who executes and does hire coaches who gets them to that next level? Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Tell you what, boys, this is an obvious segue for me to push my three months coaching program, but I'm not going to even do it. Okay, go hire somebody else. I don't give a shit. Hire a different NLP coach.

15:01 Go hire a Tony Robbins type. Go hire a different pickup artist coach. I don't care. Just hire somebody to help you get to that top level. So if you're just dabbling in this and listening to podcasts and like kind of into self-development, that's fine. But if you really want to take yourself to the top level, find the dude who you resonate with and fucking hire him. Have him show you the way to the top of the mountain. Why wouldn't you do that? I do that in every single thing that I do from Pilates.

15:26 I have a private Pilates coach. I have still an NLP coach. It's more like a mentor who we just talk every week. I have a coach for Instagram. I have a coach for doing these videos. I have a coach for podcasting, a voice coach. I have a coach for public speaking. I have a private Brazilian jujitsu coach. I had a private copywriting coach when I was a copywriter. I just continue to invest money into the one place that matters most right here inside of me, inside my head.

15:56 And then what happens? I get success because they show me the way up the mountain. Why, when you're trying to find a pot of gold, wouldn't you hire the guy who's already been to the pot of gold? That's what I don't understand about people's philosophies. But a lot of people, you know, they want to take shortcuts. They think they can get all the info from podcasts and videos. You can't. You really can't. Like I watch a lot of people's shit and then I hire them and that's where the gold is.

16:20 It's the same thing with me. I don't put my gold on this podcast. I put some pretty nice pieces of silver, but the premium shit is safe for the dudes who are willing to invest in themselves. And that's the way it is with all coaches. So invest in yourself, guys. Again, even if it's not with me, just do it. It's going to take you to the highest level. And finally, boys, the fifth one and last one is the female who you choose to spend your life with.

16:44 This is the most important decision you'll ever make. And I stand by that all the way until my death. I stand by it because the woman who stands behind you is either going to make you or break you. And a lot of you guys have seen this happen in your own lives where you chose a woman because she was hot. She was sexy. The sex was good. You fell in love with her. An emotional reaction that you made a logical choice on and it completely blew up your life.

17:05 So you know the kind of girl that's good for you. I don't need to sit here and explain it. She has integrity. She has a good heart. She tells the truth. She's got your back. She believes in you. She's your biggest cheerleader. She's the girl who you can spend all night talking to and the girl who, if you were relegated to a desert island, you take her with you. These are all the parameters that you need to set out. And don't stop meeting women until you've met her.

17:32 Is she going to come from a Tinder match or a hinge match? Probably not, bro. Let's be honest with each other. This is why you need to develop the skill set to get women at will because from quantity comes quality. And if it's the most important person you're going to have in your life for the rest of your life, goddamn right, I suggest you master that skill set so that you can go attract her. Because if you don't have the skill set, if you're insecure, kind of blown out, you don't know what to say, she might walk right by you and you never meet her.

18:02 And then you spend the rest of your life with some canyon mule who's negative, doesn't believe in you, doesn't want to support you. And then what happens? It brings you down. You don't make as nearly much money as you could. You don't get the happiness you could. You don't get the woman you really wanted. So investing yourself in the dating realm is, in my opinion, the most important investment. And I really stand by that. And you may be thinking, yeah, it's obvious what he's doing. He's trying to sell me and he's a dating coach.

18:25 No. The reason I'm a dating coach is because I want to teach guys the thing that I feel is one of the most important things you'll ever learn in your life. What do I feel is more important than being a dating coach? Probably spirituality and your connection with God. But other than that, this is the tippity top, in my opinion. As far as the flesh is concerned, not spiritual stuff, this is the tippity top. Getting good at attracting women, getting your confidence right, your self-esteem right, getting your personal bearing in place, there's nothing more important than that.

18:59 Then you attract the woman who's your teammate who, when you marry her, you're like, this chick is going to take me to the next level. Who was it? Roosevelt that said, show me a successful man and I'll show you the woman standing behind him or something like that. I'm not very good at remembering quotes, but you get the gist of it. And that's the same thing with my girl, Marissa. I know I talk about her a lot, but she's just the best human being I've ever met.

19:18 Why would I not surround myself with the best human being I've ever met? Obviously. And she's brought me to success. Every time something happens in my life, she's like, I believe in you. You can do this. Go. And she's so proud of me because I do go and I never fucking quit. And it's when you have support like that from a good woman that she'll take you to the next level. So boys, master this shit. Go out and talk to thousands of girls. Go out and have hundreds of sexual experiences if you want.

19:43 Become a Casanova, a living embodiment of just a freaking girl magnet. Then when that perfect 10 comes along, and I'm not just talking about looks, I'm talking about personality, the brain, her spirit, her heart, her soul comes along. You'll be able to attract her with the skillset that you've developed. And she's going to stand behind you to take you to the highest level possible. The team that you have in place is the most important thing. And I want to wrap this up by showing you just how important teammates are.

20:18 In the Navy SEALs, they always say that the most important person is your battle buddy, or as they call it, your swim buddy. That dude on your right or that dude on your left who, when you fall out of the boat, it's his arm that reaches out to grab you. When he falls out of the boat, it's your arm that grabs him. And when they come back from a mission, they always organize the team gear first and then their individual gear. We as humans are social creatures.

20:39 We are, if you will, a super organism that's reflecting off each other and we need each other. As much as that sucks, I used to hate it myself. I'm very, very, very independent. We do need other people. So when you get that team in place, you become that much more powerful. There is no I in team, right? As the old analogy goes. But when you get the right people around you all working to the same goal, it's exponential what you guys will be able to achieve together.

21:09 So go out there and pick your team very carefully. Pick people that have been up the mountain. Pick people who want your success. Pick people who are at that place that you want to get to. Invest in yourself, boys. Before you're making $250,000 a year, put all that money into the mechanism, that's going to dictate your success yourself. It's the only thing that matters. And finally, boys, pick that girl that's going to grow you, not drag you down. I don't care how perfect her ass is. I don't care how beautiful she is and how good the sick duck is or ass up high, make a motherfucker want to cry.

21:42 I've been there many times. It's not worth it as a lot of you guys can attest. Pick the one that has a good heart, a good head on her shoulders, and most importantly, stands behind you as your biggest cheerleader. That's going to be the most important person on your team. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.