What to Do When a Girl FLAKES on You

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about how to deal with those cornflakes out there. When a girl flakes on you, how to deal with it, how to reprimand her in the correct way, and how to set yourself up for the potentiality of actually getting her on that date if you do indeed choose that she's good enough to be on a date with you.

0:43 Because I'll tell you what, when a girl would flake on me, she'd get blown out so hard her ponytail would explode when the concussion hit. That is to say, once they flaked on me, they were done, and they had to come crawling back if they had any chance whatsoever. But man, flaking on somebody, especially when you have plans with them, is a douche move in my opinion. Now, as I'm going to talk about, women are extremely emotional, which is why they do it, as well as some other reasons, which I'll explain in this podcast.

1:09 But this podcast is being recorded for my student, Emmanuel. What is up, Emmanuel? He asked me, do girls flake on you as a way to get you more attracted to them? Do they do this as a way to test you and play games? So I'm going to get into that, as well as how to deal with it. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys once again for the amazing, brilliant, spectacular reviews that I keep getting on iTunes, as well as the other podcast apps.

1:37 And you guys, I really do appreciate it. May your path be illuminated with clarity and dissolve all illusion. So when you do leave me a review on iTunes, please make sure to email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. And I will send you three awesome programs, including The Conversation Sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction in women. This is really good stuff. I get emails all the time from guys being like, yo, I thought this was just going to be a bunch of cheesy lines. But man, some of this stuff is funny.

2:06 And some of you who have been following me on Instagram, which I'm at CoachMarkSingh, by the way, follow me there, are seeing some of the lines from The Conversation Sniper. And they are quite funny. Some of them I forgot about. I'm actually having my virtual assistant post them. And today, he did one that actually made me laugh. It was like the first time I ever saw it. It was, what did it say? It said, when I introduce you to my parents, we have to tell them you can't talk and you're a mute, okay?

2:32 And I always say that to girls. And I forgot that I added that in The Conversation Sniper. Just tons of good content. I'm also going to send you Guide to the Female Orgasm, How to Make a Woman Look Like a Screaming Demon that just got launched out of a cannon. And thirdly, I'm going to send you three texts to build massive attraction in women, impress your friends, baffle your enemies. I also throw in a couple videos, a smack on the ass, and I am going to get a statue of you put in my backyard, and I'm going to get your name tattooed on my butt.

3:00 All right, guys. So let's go ahead and jump into the content. So those cornflakes out there, why in the hell do women flake on us so regularly? Man, isn't it annoying? Isn't it frustrating? You've been working on this girl. You've been doing everything right, and then she fucking flakes, especially when they do it like an hour before your date. Disrespectful. No honor. Just the moral compass of the damn village thief, dude. Like, no morals there, man. It's like, why do these chicks flake so often? Well, I'm going to tell you.

3:31 Women are extremely emotional. They are all over the court when it comes to their emotions, and I'll tell you, if they feel one inkling of not being into it, they're going to fucking flake on you. And a lot of them have absolutely no issue just straight up lying about it, don't they? They'll say, my cat died. My friend has diarrhea. I have to wash my hair. I left the door open on my bathroom. I have to watch the water heater to make sure it doesn't flood out tonight.

3:56 It's the second anniversary of the second moon solstice from 1983, and me and all my girlfriends are getting together to do a drum circle, and I'm playing the harp. Just a bunch of bullshit that they come up with. Okay, so what happens usually, and this is a bad sign when you get this, is you've set up a date with a girl, and she'll call you like an hour before the date, right? Any time I would get that phone call an hour before the date, I would be like, oh, here we go, bro.

4:21 Here comes the excuse. So I would never pick it up. What I'd do is I'd launch it into voicemail, okay? And I wouldn't listen to the voicemail. I'd just text her back, what's up? So what I'd do is anytime I'd see freaking Veronica calling me an hour before our date, I would immediately drop the call, send it to voicemail, and then say, what's up? Okay, so she comes up with some bullshit excuse, my cat died, my mom and I had a big fight, the elephant population in the Serengeti has reduced by 3% in the year 2021, I got a zit on my ass, I feel fat, and I don't think I can adequately fit into a canoe without capsizing it.

4:55 Okay, so she shoots that in, and then what I do is I basically have a two-letter reply to deal with it. Now, you'd think I would come up with some complex, super creative reply to it, but all the times that I've been flaked on, and yes, there have been many, so I don't want you to think that you're alone in this, all guys get flaked on. And the more girls you date, the more girls are going to flake on you. So it's just par for the course, okay?

5:20 I would send them a two-letter reply. What was that? Okay, two letters, and then stop texting her. Do not text her again until she texts you, okay? So why would I do it this way? Well, I tried a number of different things, and some worked, some didn't. I would try to reprimand it in certain ways, which I'll get into in a second. I would try to rationalize with her and talk to her and say, oh, no worries, or do the whole friendly thing. Oh, yeah, no worries, no big deal.

5:47 I totally understand. I hope your cat feels better. I understand that projectile diarrhea makes cats spin on the floor because there's so much power, and the cat is doing a million spins right in the middle of your bathroom floor as she sprays diarrhea all over the bathroom. I get it. I get it. It's a horrible situation to be in, right? No, just okay. Now, the reason okay is good is because she doesn't exactly know what you're thinking. She doesn't know if you're mad. She doesn't know if you don't give a shit.

6:13 She doesn't know if you have other plans with another girl, which is kind of what you want her to think. And really what we want her to think is whatever. Okay, I don't care. Fine, beat it. Now, do you text her again? No. How long do you have to wait to text her if she doesn't text you back? Bro, if she flakes on you and you reply back okay and then she doesn't text you again, you really want to text her back? She's not interested. Clearly, she's not interested.

6:37 But if you're needy, you really want this chick. She's got a perfect ass and a perfect body. I get it. I've been there, boys. Believe me. What you do is you wait two weeks to text her. Okay, then what I suggest is this text. So, I was talking to this pretty cool girl, but I think she got sucked into a black hole. I hope she's okay, dot, dot, dot. Then she's going to come back with some stupid excuse. You know, while my cat was launching the diarrhea, she launched herself into the wall, got stuck behind the wall, and it took two weeks to get her out.

7:05 We just got her out, and now I'm back to normal again. So, how you been? Right? Some bullshit excuse. Okay, to which you start building up the attraction again, and then on a high note, as I always suggest, then you ask her for the hangout again. Now, why don't I reprimand the behavior of a woman when she first flakes? Reason is, and I've tried this before, it has like a 25% success rate in my experience. There's many different ways to skin a cat, keeping with the cat analogy, but this is the way that I've found to be the best.

7:37 It's basically communicating, look, I don't give a shit. Okay, you flaked. Whether it was a legitimate reason or not, I don't know. Frankly, I don't care. I have plans with you, but I'm so busy. I'm so in demand. I'm just going to call up somebody else and go hang out with them. Now, do you say this verbatim? No. You're communicating it through your reply. Okay. Okay can be interpreted many different ways. Like I said, she's sitting there thinking, is he pissed? Is he like okay with it and he doesn't care?

8:06 That's what we want her. We want her off her inner balance point because she did a pretty fucked up move by flaking on you. So she's getting a taste of her own medicine. And again, dude, do not do the whole, no worries. I understand bullshit. No, it's unacceptable. Okay. Even if it's true, your reply isn't angry. So you could either be nice or angry, right? In the common way guys do this. Like, dude, seriously? Is she going to flake an hour before? Yeah, right. You're cat sick.

8:32 I don't believe that. Dude, that's a stupid way to do it because then she's definitely going to blow you out. There's absolutely no positive that would come from that. But when you do the okay thing, it kind of has all possibilities. Therefore, we just leave it up to her interpretation. Now, what typically happens if she flakes, you say, okay, what typically happens if she's into you, and I'm going to get into why chicks flake in a minute, but if she's into you, she's going to come chasing back.

8:57 So how you been? Like she'll text you the next day. So, so what'd you end up doing? Blah, blah, blah. The way you act is that's no big deal. You forgot about it. You did something else. You had a great night. You could even tell her about the great night you had with your friends. I wouldn't tell her you dated another girl. We don't want to tell girls that. We want to imply it. But what you can do is be like, yeah, you know, it's actually kind of, kind of fortuitous that you flaked because me and my buddies went out to whatever the football game.

9:26 And it was so awesome. This and this happened. So anyway, how you been? Blah, blah, blah. But what I would always do is I would be a little bit harder to reach and I wouldn't be as invested in the conversation. I'd take longer to text her back. I would tease her a little bit, maybe about being a flake. And what I'd also do is this. Okay. So we had the first date set up. She would flake. I would say, okay, a couple of days later, she'd come crawling back under this example.

9:49 Let's say she'd come crawling back and then I would make her work for it. I wouldn't, I wouldn't reply as quickly. I wouldn't be as interactive. I wouldn't be as interested seemingly. But with time, I would let her kind of win me back and I would build back up, build back up, build back up. And I would say, listen, you know, I understand that the first time we had plans, you had something come up. But just like you, my time is extremely valuable. So if we hang out again, I definitely want a guarantee that you're not going to flake again.

10:20 Because I have a lot of things going on. I have a lot of people vying for my time. So if you're cool to show up this time without flaking, then we can go ahead and hang out again. That kind of vibe. There's a lot of different ways you could say it, but that's essentially what I'd say. You can also tease her about it. Be like, yo, I'd love to hang out with you again. But unfortunately, every time I make plans with this girl, she freaking turns into a cornflake.

10:45 And she'll be like, ha, ha, ha, yeah, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. And also, you have to be cognizant of what her excuse was. You know, if her mom died, it's probably a real thing. And in that situation, maybe you wouldn't say, okay. Maybe you'd say, oh, shit, I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah. But if it's the old, you know, the typical excuses is, I'm sick. I don't feel good. My tummy hurts. I have a headache. It's some like physical malady. Bullshit, dude. Bullshit. She just isn't into it, which I'm going to explain why that is in a minute.

11:14 But if it's something real, you know, also shit to do with her friends is often bullshit. But maybe her fucking friend did get into a car accident and she launched out the window. And like you being like, whatever, loser, like you fucking flaked on me last time. Can I trust you again? She's like, dude, my freaking friend launched out of the window into a redwood tree and she's in the hospital and you're really saying that. So let's use our social intelligence here. But the basic example is the typical flake, which, as I said, is usually some physical malady.

11:45 I'm sick is like so common. Okay. So when she does that, like I said, you say, okay, build it back up on a high note. You ask for her to hang out again, just as I always suggest you guys ask women to hang out. Hey, you seem pretty cool. I think we owe it to ourselves to hang out sometime. Do you agree with this brilliant conclusion? That's the standard template that I used for the first hangout ask. And it's something similar on the second quote unquote hangout.

12:13 If she's flaked the first time, Hey, you know, like I said previously, it seems like we get along. Honestly, I'd love to meet you in person. If of course you don't flake. Now, once again, guys, when you're pretty sure she flaked for no good reason, you could say this, I'd be down to hang out with you again. But if you flake, you owe me a letter of apology due immediately and you have to pay my mortgage for the next six months. Deal? Question mark. Deal. Explanation point.

12:37 Okay. So that's something I'd say. So that's how to set it up. If she's flaked on you, that's how to react properly. And that's how to bring her back in and hopefully get her on another date. But when you have abundance in your life, you're going to get gnarly, man. You're going to turn into a pipe hitting motherfucker and you're not going to take that kind of shit. So when she flakes on you for no good reason, you're just going to be like, okay. And then you're going to ignore her and you're going to make her chase you, which is what you want to do.

13:02 And then if she starts crawling back, she's like, I'm so sorry. You'd be like, okay, how about this? Since you flaked on me, why don't you make me dinner? How's that sound? I'll come over. You make me a triple layer lasagna with some tiramisu dessert and we'll, we'll talk about it. How's that sound? Right? Like, oh, can you cook? Like, what can you cook? Cause flaking on me is a pretty big deal. Like honestly, when most people flake on me, they get all blown out. So what are you going to make?

13:28 What you got? Well, I'm really good at Italian food. Cool. Dude, I love Italian food. Can you make lasagna? Yes, I can. Perfect. Why don't you go ahead and roger up a lasagna? Let's get some tiramisu on there as well. And I will be there deal deal. And then tell her, you know what? If you flake again, I am going to launch a cow into your home alpha catapult, something like that. I'm just pulling stuff out of my butt right now, but that's kind of the dynamic you want to have.

13:54 So now shifting gear slightly, I want to talk about why girls flake. Okay. The reason girls flake, drum roll, please. They weren't that into you. That's the reason they flake. They're not trying to get you more into them. They're not trying to play games. Most of the time, they're just not into it. Think about how you behave when you're really not into something like your fricking cousin invites you to your nephew's six-year-old little ice hockey game. And you're like, oh man, I'm so not into that.

14:25 Yeah. Okay. I'll go. I'll try to be there. By the way, real quick tip. If a girl ever says the word try, I'll try to make it. She's not going to come in NLP. We look for these signs of language that basically state intention. If she says, yeah, I'll try to do that. Or I can do that. It's a very bad sign. So honestly, if like I made date plans with the chick and she's like, yeah, I'll try to be there. I'll be like, nope, forget it.

14:49 We're done because I know she's not going to show up. So the reason she doesn't show up is because you didn't build enough attraction. Attraction is always the answer. Get that tattooed right on your forehead so you can see it every morning in the mirror. Attraction is always the answer. Your job as the man is to build attraction in the first conversation as well as build attraction via texting. And when you do that, she's less likely to flake. But if you kind of get the phone number, like, you know, not very great.

15:20 You barely got it. You're texting conversation is ho-hum. You set up the date and she's probably thinking to herself like, yeah, you know, if I have nothing better to do, I'll do it. Remember, girls a lot of times will keep a plan B in place because girls always want something to do. And this is oftentimes why guys get a first date is because plan A didn't pan out. So they're going to go with plan B, also known as plan beta, right? Plan alpha and plan beta.

15:45 Well, plan alpha didn't pan out. Chad is busy. So let's go ahead and go with plan beta. That's you. If she gets a little stomach ache or she's got a headache or her boss yelled at her, she's going to flake on you. Absolutely guaranteed. Some bullshit excuse. And then she carries on with her airborne self. Like she doesn't give a shit, right? Girls flake all the time. It's just kind of like female psychology, no big whoop. And by the way, dudes flake on chicks too. I flaked on chicks.

16:11 I have. It was usually for a legitimate reason. Like I actually did have that projectile diarrhea. Most of the time I would show up because I want to get girls and I was highly motivated, obviously. But with girls, they're so fickle, man. It's like a tub of ice cream could sound better than going on a date. Watching whatever show they're watching. Gilmore girls could be better than going on a date in that moment. And then two hours later after Gilmore girls, she could be like, oh, I really wish I went on that date because I really want to have sex.

16:40 You know, I mean, I'm not trying to make women sound so fickle, but honestly, they are. Circumstances can affect their mood. Now, whether or not they do it to game you, whether or not they do it to play games, each girl's an individual case, but I'd say on the majority, no. Most of the time they're just not feeling it. They don't feel up to it. So they're going to fucking flake. So once again, to me, the sign of a flake is basically saying, I'm not that attracted to you.

17:08 I was extremely on the fence about you to begin with. Tonight is just not a good night. She probably really does have a little bit of a headache or even a big one guys is when she feels fat and she's not feeling sexy or something as simple as a zit on her face, right? Because for women, looks are really important. So she gets a big ass crater on the tip of her nose. Of course, she's not going to want to go out. She wants to hide until that thing is gone.

17:31 So there's a myriad of circumstances that we have to contend with as men. It's not so black and white for women as it is for us. We're like, okay, hot girl, perfect ass, bomb ass tits. Let's do it. I'm showing up. I'm going to run a tight battleship. I'm going to employ the five Ps, prior preparation prevents poor performance. I'm going to crush this. Girls, it's like I've said before. It's like a kitten on a piece of pizza floating through space, being distracted by every little Haley's comment that flies by and any little thing can distract them, even a text from an ex-boyfriend.

18:03 So because there's a myriad of situations, which we cannot predict, we as intelligent men fill the top of our pipeline with abundance so that if plan A falls through, you can go with plan B, just like she's going to do, right? But she's going to do it more on an emotional level. We're going to do it more on a logistical level. All right. The next thing I want to teach is what I call preemptive expectation setting. So what I'd often do as I got better at this game is if I felt she was flaky, right?

18:35 Just something about her. I feel she's flaky. She just seems like kind of a space cadet. Seems like she doesn't really have her life together. The pictures on her Facebook page of her room, it looks like a trash can. She's basically doing drugs, talking shit about people, and she's overall not running a tight battleship like all of us do here at the Unapologetic Man podcast. But she's banging, boy. She is super banging, and you just want to get it in so bad, so you're going to deal with it.

19:02 What I do is preemptive expectation setting, and this is the way you do it. When someone thinks that you think they're a certain way, they're going to behave that way in order to justify and substantiate your belief in them. Okay, so if I said to you, yo, podcast listener, wherever you're listening from, brother, you are really a loyal listener. You really support the Unapologetic Man podcast. I really appreciate that you like me, you like my podcast, and you actually clicked on this and listened to it.

19:32 And the reason you clicked on it is because you have a rapport with me. You just feel like my brother. You and I feel like boys. And in fact, if we lived in the same city, I guarantee you we would be homies. Anyway, man, I really appreciate you as a fan. I really appreciate you as a supporter of this podcast. And I know because of that, you're going to keep listening to this, and you keep upping my downloads, telling your friends about it, leaving me reviews.

19:56 And because of that, bro, I just really appreciate you, man. So what I did is I told you how you are in order to shape your behavior for how I want you to be. It's a classic psychological tactic known as cognitive dissonance. So when you think that I expect something of you, you're going to behave that way. So how can we do this with women and flaking? Well, if she's a 420 sweatshirt wearing minimum wage flake, and you know it, then you would be wise to ask her about that and try to set an expectation of her not being a flake.

20:28 So the first way is to actually accuse her of being a flake so she can deny it. And the way I do this is I'd be like, so I was talking to your friend about you at the club, and she'll be like, oh, really? What'd she say? Well, she had a lot of good things to say and just one bad. Now, women will always say, what's the bad? And I'd be like, well, you sure you want to know? You sure you're not going to get mad at her?

20:48 And she'll be like, no, I won't get mad at her. And you'd be like, well, she said you're a little bit flaky. You're a little bit flaky. Now, what she'll do typically is she'll say, no, I'm not. Like, I show up. I'm a girl on my word. And then you can just leverage that and be like, oh, really? So like, you don't flake on dates and stuff like that? Or when you have plans with somebody, you don't flake? And she'll be like, no, I don't flake at all.

21:07 And you'd be like, dude, I really respect that. As a matter of fact, one of the most important attributes, in my opinion, of a human being, but especially a woman who I would be willing to date in a relationship, is that she isn't flaky. She does what she says. She has more honor than a troop of Spartans, right? So that's one way to do it. Another way to do it is the opposite. You tell her, so your friend says something really cool about you. And she'd be like, what's that?

21:33 She'd be like, she said you're so reliable. Like, you don't flake. You do what you say you're going to do. You're a girl of your word. Is that true? And she'll be like, yeah, that's definitely true. You'd be like, cool. I really respect that. So when it comes time for her to flake, she's going to be like, oh, but I told him I'm a girl of my word. I don't want to go against what he expects of me. This is such a powerful psychological motivator that people will do insane things just to justify their own identity in other people's eyes.

22:02 Take children, for example, whose parents expect them to be great students. They will go to the ends of the world in order to get straight A's to prove their parents right. So this is preemptive expectation setting. One other thing I like to do is if I feel like she's kind of a flaky girl, I would say one of the best ways to seduce me or one of the things I find most attractive in a woman is when she does what she says she's going to do.

22:28 She shows up on time. She keeps her promises. God, I find that so sexy. Right. And you can also say the opposite turns you off. Hey, you know, my cousin came late. Like we have plans. Dude, I lived in Japan for four years. So it just kind of been embedded in me. And this is true, guys, by the way, is that in Japan, if you're not early, you're late. It just irks me that she always comes late. I just, I can never be with a girl who's like that.

22:53 So you're preemptively setting those expectations. You can do that in a variety of different ways via text to prevent flakes. And yes, it works. I got my flake level really low once I started getting really good for a number of different reasons, most of which is that I got them extremely attracted. I kicked some major butt over the texting game. And then I would often do the preemptive expectation setting. And if she flaked, she'd get blown out so hard she'd get launched into the heavens when the concussion hit.

23:23 She's done, dude. Like she's blown out. I've had girls chase for me back. It's just disrespectful, man. You know, it's like I have a high value life. I have a lot of shit going on. I have a lot of people buying for my time. At the time I was dating four to five chicks a week. I had a line of girls who wanted to date me. I had all kinds of conversations going and I would choose like a Tuesday to go out with this girl and she'd flake on me.

23:45 Seriously, you're fucking done, dude. I won't even talk to you again. And that's the way you got to run it, dude. You got to pretend like you are dating all those girls. You are talking to four girls at once. What would I do if I was talking to four girls at once? You know, I do. I'd be like, okay, big fucking deal. I don't give a shit. Beat it. What was your name again? I don't even remember what you look like. Red hair, blonde hair. Can't remember.

24:07 Kick rocks with your head down. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you. Hit yourself in the face so hard you fly upward through a skylight. I don't give a fuck. Goodbye. And then when that happens, she'll likely come crawling back. So that's how to handle a flake, guys. Girls aren't necessarily going to flake on you as a way to play games. I mean, some might do it. Some psycho girls might do that. But most of the time, just as you do to girls, if you're not that into it, if you got a date with a mountain troll or a canyon buzzard, you're not going to go try to show up on the date.

24:35 You're just going to flake on her. Just be like, whatever. I'd rather play Call of Duty or masturbate to some porn. We're human beings. Girls aren't at fault here. Men are at fault here. We're just human. And as humans, we're not going to do what we don't want to do. It's as simple as that. All right, boys. That's it for me in this podcast. Like I said, if you leave me a review, shoot me an email at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit.

25:01 I really appreciate the support. Some of the ones that have been coming in lately just absolutely bring a tear to my non-shooting eye. And I always send you guys a silent thank you when I receive those reviews. All right, boys. I got another awesome one coming up on Friday. So make sure to stay tuned for that. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you next time.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.