Why Jerks Get Girls and What it Means to be an Unapologetic Man

0:00 It's a drip. It's got a funky beat. And I can bug out to it. Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, brother? How you doing today, man? Oh, no shit? That girl from the other night? Yeah, dude, she was banging on brunette, right? Ooh, yeah, she was hot. So what happened, dude? No way. Yeah. Yeah, man, sometimes when you get down there, it's, you know, it really just depends.

0:41 I think it's a diet thing, you know? I think it's what she eats. And sometimes it's like putting your tongue on a battery, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, that's usually a sign of a yeast infection. You may want to dip out of there. Did I ever tell you what my best friend's dad told me? He's like, yo, if you can't eat it, don't fuck it. Now, of course, he was a true douchebag. He was actually a biker. He was a pool hustler. And he used to say that and we used to laugh so hard.

1:06 But here's what you do, bro. You do the old karate chop maneuver. Have I told you that? No? Okay, here's what you do. Get your hand, right, while you're making out. And you're going to kind of rub down there a little bit. Slap the karate chop in there. Give it a couple rubs. And then kind of like itch your nose, right? And whilst you itch your nose, you give it a little sniff. Oh, you did that? You did it and it was good. Okay, but you get down there and the battery happened.

1:31 Oh, and you hit it anyway, huh? Well, you didn't listen to the advice. My best friend's dad told you, if you can't eat it, don't fuck it, old man. But look, you're so horny, you'd fuck a snake if you could hold it straight. So I totally get it, bro. But listen, she was beautiful. So congratulations to you, man. I'm proud of you. Now, for the rest of you boys listening, you're wondering, why is it that assholes get girls? And yes, I may have been perceived as an asshole by you, especially some of you haters that listen.

1:58 If you listen to that little intro part, I was joking, bro. Relax. Don't hyperextend your vagina. Don't get so pissed off you blow an O-ring when you listen to what I just said. Because listen, if you get pissed about what anybody says, it's you. It's not the person who said it. You're just hypersensitive. And really, they didn't make you pissed. You were pissed off already and just looking for a source of ignition to light the gasoline that was already there. So let it go. Lighten up.

2:24 It's no big deal. But why do assholes get girls? And what is it about being an unapologetic man versus being an asshole? That is such an obvious difference, yet not obvious to everybody. Because oftentimes, as I hear from podcast listeners, you can feel like you're coming off as an asshole when you're simply trying to be unapologetic. So we're going to explore that today. So first of all, the reason assholes get girls is pretty simple. It's because they're not to be fucked with, right? They don't really care what you think of them.

2:54 They follow their own lead. They only really care about their opinion of themselves. And that is ridiculously attractive to women. The problem, as many women listening can attest, is that they usually don't treat the woman very well. So we need to have that balance where we treat women well. We're very respectful. We're even chivalrous at times. But at the same time, we're not to be fucked with, which is basically being that unapologetic man. So it's pretty simple. Like, what's the difference between the two? Well, the difference is, when you're an unapologetic man, you simply have boundaries, and you express those boundaries without anger and without vengeance.

3:30 When you're an asshole, you also show that you have boundaries, but you're kind of a dick about it. And you don't really take the other person's feelings into consideration before you act. And that, in my opinion, is the most glaring and obvious difference between the two, but there's subtleties as well, which we're going to get into in a second. But as you listen to this podcast, you realize, you know what? My opinion is the only one that matters. I need to be self-validated to be attractive to women.

3:56 And if she says something, does something that I don't agree with, I'm willing to speak up and tell her. And I'm willing to do so in a way that doesn't express anger, doesn't try to get into an argument with her, doesn't make her try to feel bad, but instead, it's simply expressing my point. Okay? So if she says that something you do is stupid, right? So for me, I don't drink alcohol. And a couple times throughout my life, and surprisingly, not really many, a few girls have said that that was pretty lame.

4:24 They said that I was an idiot not to drink, and they were basically attacking me. So if I was an asshole, or more accurately, if I had a low sense of self-worth, if I was unconfident, I'd probably attack them back. And I'd say something like, dude, you're the one who has a vice. Like, why are you attacking me? Obviously, the reason you're attacking me is because you feel insecure about your own vices. So why don't you look at yourself rather than focusing on me? Now, occasionally, I will do that, but there's a subtle difference between the asshole version and the unapologetic version.

4:55 Okay, so the asshole version is really making her feel bad and using your power, using your frame, using your confidence as a man to belittle her a little bit. Whereas the unapologetic way is simply expressing why you do what you're doing. And most importantly, boys, there's absolutely no negative energy behind it, and you're not really trying to make her feel bad. You'll let her know that you're not buying into her frame. You'll let her know that she's not affecting you. And yes, maybe you'll even let her know that she's being a bit stupid, but you don't have any malicious energy behind it.

5:28 Now, here's the thing about jerks that makes them fail inevitably with women. See, jerks can often get laid up front. They can often get a lot of attraction up front, and it works into that attraction principle of frame control that women are ridiculously attracted to. In fact, if I had to pick one thing that was the most important thing, it would be frame control. Leading the interaction, not caring what she thinks, speaking to her like she's a 12-year-old girl on your soccer team. Caveat, not condescending, but instead just leading her.

5:58 Jerks have that dynamic, right? It works into their jerkiness, if you will. But the problem is, is that they're assholes, right? They don't care about anybody else. They're extremely selfish, and they just use people. So eventually, the girl kind of figures this out, and emotionally, she may be attracted to that because, like I said, frame control is super attractive, but she realizes what a douche canoe he is, and she's going to leave him. Whereas when you are an unapologetic man, you essentially do all the good things that jerks do.

6:26 And when I say good, I mean attraction-building things that jerks do, but you're a good dude behind it, right? Like you have good intentions. If you were doing drugs, or you were about to get into a business partnership with a guy who I knew was unreliable, or you were doing something psychotic, like cutting yourself, or doing things that are obviously not good for your health, I can be disagreeable with you and be caring towards you at the same time. So when I disagree with a woman, I'm kind of like caring in the process, and I'm letting her know that her frame can't affect me, which shows that I am internally validated, and that is extremely unbelievably attractive.

7:04 And many times when I reframe things, she actually laughs, and she actually feels better from me disagreeing with her. So for example, and I've said this many times in this podcast, girls will ask me why I'm wearing a certain piece of clothing. And I'll say to her, look, I know you're trying to get me undressed right now, but relax there, Casanova, we just met. I need trust, comfort, and connection first, and perhaps a poem as well as a rose left on my car before you're going to get off these clothes.

7:28 Okay, so I'm berating her a little bit because she challenged me, but I did it in a way that makes her laugh and makes her feel that I'm not attacking her back so much. I'm just standing up for myself and letting her know that you kind of fucked up a little bit. Like, listen, we're going to have a good time. We're going to have a great experience together. But if you keep challenging me, like, you're going to get it thrown back in your face, and there's absolutely no hope for you to kind of win this argument with me.

7:54 And that's what frame control is, is look, this girl has zero hope of winning the social argument with you, winning the social frame with you, winning the social power, and leading the interaction. There's absolutely no hope. Now, the trick, of course, is to do it in a way that makes her feel good and do it without negativity. And that's really the underlying energy behind being unapologetic versus being a jerk. Okay, the underlying energy when being unapologetic is, I'm cool, I'm somewhat agreeable, but at the same time, I'm not agreeable.

8:27 But there's absolutely no maliciousness. And in fact, I kind of care about you, and I'm going to take care of you. Just shut the hell up and follow me, and everything's going to work out for you, right? That kind of thing. Where the underlying energy of a jerk is malicious because he's unhappy with his life, so he needs to make people feel unhappy so he can bring them down to his level of unhappiness. Look, it's very simple. Anytime somebody hates on you, anytime somebody talks shit about you, spreads rumors about you, yells at you, tries to fight you, they're basically saying that they themselves are unhappy.

8:59 It's a big, giant statement to the universe and to the world and to you that they are miserable. So even your parents, like a lot of you guys have had parents that have cut you down, have made you feel like shit. That's because they felt like shit. Nobody who feels good in himself would ever want anybody else to feel bad. In fact, when you feel good and you're truly happy and confident with yourself, you want other people to feel good. But at the same time, and there's that balance there, you are not to be fucked with.

9:27 And it's as simple as that. You have boundaries. And make no mistake, boys, women are there to test your boundaries. In fact, the only time she won't test your boundaries is when there's absolutely no doubt about the strength of your frame, which can be reached when you have a certain level of mastery in this game. And by the way, on Thursday, I'm dropping a podcast about the number one reason most of you guys suck with girls and the one thing you're missing that you could go do right now to make yourself 10,000 times better, but most guys listening do not do.

9:59 And this is the reason they suck with girls. If you do the simple one thing, you'll start getting girls like easily, super easily. And I talk about that on Thursday. But back to my point, a girl will only not test your frame when A, she's absolutely sure that you have a super strong frame and there's no doubt whatsoever that you have a strong frame. And that's pretty rare for most dudes. You have to be like elite level, quote unquote, pickup artist guy to kind of get to that point where she doesn't even question it.

10:25 She just goes along with you, goes into her feminine energy. The other time she won't test your frame is when she's not attracted. Absolutely not attracted. You've basically been friend-zoned from the beginning. She's completely uninterested. So when we get frame checks, which once again is the girl being kind of bitchy, kind of challenging you, trying to make you jump through hoops, trying to make you do her favors or do something for her, that's because there's some attraction for you, but it's a little bit in doubt.

10:52 She's thinking, is this an alpha or is this a beta cuck? Well, let me test them real quick. Let me lean on that piece of plywood at Home Depot to make sure it's strong enough to hold the weight of all the things I'm going to put on it once I install it in my garage. So she's kind of leaning on your frame because look, women always have long-term relationship in mind and she wants to know like, is this guy able to lead me? Is this guy able to be successful in life?

11:17 Is this guy ambitious? Is this guy essentially not to be fucked with? So she's going to lean on you and she's going to say bitchy things to you. Is this what you say to all the girls? How many phone numbers did you get tonight? Oh my God, what's with that Hawaiian shirt you're wearing? You must be gay, right? Why are you talking to us? And you need to have reversals for that that, like I said, have no negativity behind them. The second you have negativity behind them, especially emotional negativity where you're butthurt and you're kind of trying to lash back out at her, she's going to lose all attraction for you.

11:48 Why? Because emotional negativity, namely you being butthurt, is a sign of a feminine state, is a sign of a beta cuck, is a sign of a guy who won't be successful in society. Because a guy who is successful in society is inevitably going to be in tough social situations, negotiations, challenges to his leadership in a social group, and people are going to lean on him so she's going to lean on you to test you to see how you do in those situations. Now, an asshole doesn't have emotional negative energy behind his replies, but he has a fuck you, you're not worth shit kind of negative energy behind his replies where he'll still get some attraction for her, but deep down in her unconscious, she's kind of like, oh God, this guy's a dick.

12:33 And that's the problem with girls. Like, any females listening, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You want a dude who kind of has that asshole not to be fucked with vibe, but at the same time, he treats you like gold. And that really is the fundamental difference between assholes and unapologetic men. Unapologetic men will lead you, take care of you, control the frame, show you they're not to be fucked with, show you they're ambitious, and show you that their respect must be earned. But at the same time, they're going to treat you like gold.

13:01 And when you go into your feminine, he's able to go into his masculinity and he treats you like the queen that you are without kissing your ass. So there's that balance there, boys. There's that balance between being unapologetic, not to be fucked with, disagreeing with her, while at the same time treating her like the princess she is without blowing smoke up her ass. Okay, the asshole, once again, has that maliciousness. And he just looks at chicks like, dude, I'm going to fuck them and leave them.

13:27 Like, I don't care about you. You are simply a number on my bedpost. And I think once you ascend to a certain level of development in your consciousness, you can no longer do that to people. Right? And I used to do that to chicks. Like, I didn't give two shits about them. Right? Because I had my own issues. I was hurt by women, so I wanted to hurt women back. But I've since evolved past that, and I always have her best interest in mind, even if in her best interest means that I need to disagree with her and kind of put her back in her place.

13:57 And this is what women want. This is what a woman will fall in love with if you can have this dynamic. Now, once again, on Thursday, I'm going to talk about the one thing that probably 95% of you guys listening don't do, which could literally make you a master at dealing with women, picking up women, getting women attracted to you. But it's what most of you guys refuse to do. So we're going to talk about that on Thursday, but really take this on board, okay? Like, the main point of this episode is this.

14:23 When you're dealing with women, you have boundaries. You're not to be fucked with, but there's never any kind of negative energy behind it. There's always kindness, and if we're to extend this metaphor out to its furthest level, there's even love behind everything that you do. And it's almost like you're doing it for her so that she can become attracted to you, the alpha, unapologetic, silverback champion that you are, and you make absolutely no apologies for it. And sometimes, guys, all of us have to go through that phase of being a jerk, but maybe you're reaching the tail end of that phase, those of you who are listening who are jerks, and you're ready to ascend past it because I'll tell you, you will get way more success and women will want to stay with you when you have that dynamic.

15:07 Okay, once again, not to be fucked with, demanding respect, having boundaries, but at the same time pushing out love and caring about her experience and not trying to do anything whatsoever that's malicious towards her or her journey. That, in my opinion, is an unapologetic man. As I said, brothers, Thursday, I have an awesome one dropping, so stay tuned for that one. Reviews have been a little slacking lately, I'm going to be honest with you. They're a little slacking, so if you guys could help a brother out and please leave me a five-star review on iTunes, Spotify, or any other of the podcast apps that you happen to be listening to this on, I'd very much appreciate it.

15:44 When it comes to iTunes or more accurately, the Apple Podcast app, I really prefer some writing behind it and if you could say something specific, something that really reached you and something that you particularly enjoy about my content, I'd very much appreciate it. You can email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you three awesome programs, Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. Thank you again for listening and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.