How to Get a 10 Girlfriend (No, Really!)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I certainly do appreciate it. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do, brother. Smack yourself on the ass, you are a goddamn champion. If you're new here and looking for how to get a 10 girlfriend, well, I got your back, bro, Tendo. I'm going to teach you exactly how to do it today.

0:36 Now, when I say 10 girlfriend, I know a lot of guys don't feel like they can get a 10, like I'm talking 10, 10, you know, paid for her hotness, just ridiculously, retardedly hot where when you see a girl like that, you just throw up. You just look to the right and there's a 10, you're like, and you just throw up. Same thing. What happens when you see a one, you look to the left, there's a one, you go and you throw up, bro. I saw a carny once who was a one, the only one I've ever seen in my life.

1:05 I literally gagged when I saw this lady, it was, oh my God, bro. So disgusting. Like every unattractive trait you could possibly think of this lady had, it was like, she was a 10, but in the opposite direction. And I'm just walking by the fricking falafel station or whatever that thing is where they bake those cakes with the powdered sugar on top, those damn good things. And I'm like, I'm going to get me one of them joints. And then I saw this girl and I was like, and I threw up and I was like, damn, that girl's the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life.

1:30 And it was pretty sad, dude. I feel a lot of compassion for her, but we're not here to talk about ones. Many of you guys have already stooped so low to dip into a couple of ones or at least two, three, fours and fives. Man, how's it feel, bro? You dipped into that four the other night, not very proud of yourself. And I get it. So we're going to teach you how to get a bonafide 10 today. And yes, boys, it can be done. And it's a more a thing of lifestyle than anything else, which I'm going to get into.

2:02 So rest assured, my dude, I got your back. I'm going to tell you exactly how to do it today. And what I want to also talk about is how to keep the attention of these chicks who many times have so many unread text messages, get so many damn DMs to their Instagram that it's hard to differentiate yourself from the rest of the sea donkeys who are sailing the high seas of thirstiness, hitting her with DM after DM and ruining it for a champion like you, who she may be slotting into the same category as the rest of these canyon mules.

2:31 So we're going to tell you how to differentiate yourself. I want to read a quick testimonial. Yep, I got another one, man. In fact, I have a whole desktop full of screenshots of just testimonial after testimonial about my three month coaching program. So I'm going to blow through this real quick. I know you guys are sick of hearing it or some of you may not be. Maybe you just need to hear this one more testimonial to convince you to get on that free F-R-E-E breakthrough session with me where you and I talked to up to an hour about your issues with women and what I think your issues are, how long I think it will take you to get to your goals.

3:09 Like if you want to attend, I'm going to tell you straight up, this is how long I think it will take you to get there. And here are the things you need to work on. Because literally, bro, like I can talk to you for five minutes and I'm like a mind reader. I can tell just by your body language, your tonality, the way you look, the kinds of things you say, the type of language you use, the belief systems and traumas that you share with me.

3:27 I can tell you how long it would take you to get results. And I dare say I am like a psychic when it comes to my predictions because they 90% of the time come true. It's just like, you've been doing something for so long, you know what it takes to get there. You just know, like when you talk to a dude, like I can talk to a dude for literally five minutes and I'm like, okay, I know what this dude's issue is. So if you want me to analyze you, get on a free call with me, man.

3:52 Of course, that's under the premise that you're interested in joining my three month coaching program, which the following testimonial is about. This gentleman's last name is Gibbons. I'm not going to give his first name because he didn't want me to. So Gibbons, here we go. So I've gone through your course. What an amazing ride. I appreciate your feedback so much. Your program is really top notch. I truly enjoy how you focus on the positive and set up your program to get those small positive wins. I've tried other courses and it all made sense.

4:18 But without the actual work that your program has us do, the others really are just pointless. I can read a million books and listen to all those mediocre podcasts yet to never put the theory in motion. Learning can't happen. You've impressed me with your ability to see every minutia in our mannerisms, voice inflections and actions. You make us hold ourselves accountable. Your program is well thought out. Each week is a perfect incremental move to the next lesson, all the while keeping it positive. And your assessments of circumstances are spot on.

4:51 See guys, just like what I was talking about, my assessment of circumstances are spot on. Thank you for having the dedication and love for your boys and your talent to share it the way that you do. I've grown tremendously and have fun watching you grow too. Your blue belt, the opportunity to walk the track. Keep kicking ass as I will too, coach. Thank you, Gibbons, for that. That was amazing. Once again, boys, if you want to get on that call with me, go ahead and jump on my website, fill in the short application and you and I will get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session together.

5:20 All right, so how do we pull a 10? So we have to understand that 10s live in a different environment. They live in a different habitat as it were. And you need to be a part of her habitat. You need to show her that you're of the same value, that you have the same social circle, that you're the same kind of worth as she is, or at least you are familiar with the plight that she has as a 10. So rarely will we just walk into the supermarket and yank a 10 by cold approach, which is funny because that's how I yanked my girlfriend, Marissa, and I definitely give her a 10.

5:56 But dude, that's so rare. Like she's literally one of maybe five or six nines and 10s that I got off cold approach. The vast majority of those super hot girls that I've gotten came from social circle, as well as what I call top of funnel ideas. Okay, so first of all, we have to understand that a 10s reality is much different than yours and mine. She gets lots of attention. She always gets the benefit of the doubt. In fact, when I met Marissa, she was actually shopping.

6:21 I think it was 11 o'clock at night and I happened to walk in looking like a goddamn homeless man. And there she was in the freaking peaches section, a goddamn 10, like totally my type. You know, like you see a girl that's like exactly your type. This was her. And I was like, Oh my hell, I look like a homeless man. What the hell am I going to do? I'm going to approach her. That's what the hell I'm going to do. And of course it went well. But dude, that's really rare, man, because girls like that, they oftentimes need a lot of convincing before they're going to go for a guy.

6:52 And the guy has to be, as I said, on her level socially. Okay. So he needs to be in the know. He definitely needs to have other friends who are girls that are super fucking hot, which is why I always talk about pre-selection, which I'm going to talk about more in this episode. And she just needs to get to know him usually before she's going to go out with him. Now to start this, I want to talk about an interesting phenomenon that happens with ridiculously hot girls.

7:20 And that's this. They actually rarely get approached when they reach a certain level of hotness. Okay. So it's different for every girl. Like some girls are really beautiful and they just get approached all the time just because they have a certain vibe about them. But then other girls are equally or even more beautiful and they hardly get approached at all. Usually because the certain vibe about them, or they're just too damn intimidating. Now, when it comes to Marissa, she told me she'd get approached like occasionally, but it wasn't as much as some of my friends who are eights and nines and especially the eights.

7:51 Okay. So eights get approached the most. Sevens, the second most, then nines and then tens get approached just like that carny I saw at the carnival, that one, they get approached rarely at all. So what I always tell my clients and what I want to share with you guys is if you can just be normal in front of a 10, okay, totally unintimidated, totally normal on your inner balance point, your voice isn't shaking, you're not fighting for things to talk about. It just comes to you. And most importantly, you have an air about you that you don't really give a shit what happens and that you're used to speaking to hot girls of her caliber.

8:29 That alone can usually get her attracted. And that's what got me Marissa is dude. Like I was literally bro. Like, listen to this. I was literally wearing pajama pants and my slippers like these camouflage. I remember them. These camouflage pajama pants and like these brown acorn slippers and some blown out t-shirt. My hair is all messed up. I hadn't shaven in a couple days. I look like a goddamn bum. But because I had so many girls in my life at that time, like I was talking to probably 20 plus girls.

8:59 And that's what I'm going to talk about with you in a second too, is I gave off the vibe that like, I didn't really give a shit. And I was cool. I was funny and make no mistake, man. Like I was trying, I was motivated, right? I was so motivated. And I'm like, dude, I got to focus, bro. But at the same time, you got to like, not give a shit. And that's really important. So I went up to her. I didn't give a shit. I was just bullshitting.

9:18 I said some stupid joke about the peaches. I don't even remember what it was. I was like, so how are the peaches today? Last week they were all blown out. That was like my opening line. It was so weak, but I was just like off the cuff. Didn't really care. Stacked the conversation, let her in conversation, got her on a high note. And I was sure that I had enough attraction. In fact, I had so much attraction that I made her qualify herself to me. And I remember what I asked her.

9:45 I asked her, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? So I was talking to her and I was like, so you seem pretty cool. What would your best friend say is your best quality or is the coolest thing about you? She answered it. I knew she was into it. So then I asked for the phone number. You seem pretty cool. I got to get out of here. It's like midnight. I got to get sleep. How'd you feel about tossing me your number?

10:01 We'll catch up some other time. Boom, got the number. And then I was able to slide into her texts because I'd built up enough attraction and through my behavior. And also probably, I don't quite remember this part, but probably because I told stories that involved other women, letting her know that I was on her level. Like, dude, I'm used to being around girls as hot as you are. So maybe I told a story. And again, I don't remember this. So don't exactly hold me to this, but I usually do this.

10:28 I'll tell a story about my friend Krista, who's a model. And then X, Y, Z happened. I spoke about this in a recent episode. Can't remember what the title was, but I'm almost positive. I threw that in too. So by demonstrating that you're on her level, that you have hot friends in your life, that you've dated girls as hot as she is, it communicates to her that you are on her social level and that's attractive to her in conjunction with you being on your inner balance point, controlling the frame, definitely being funny, not giving a shit what happens, qualifying her, which means you're making her sell herself to you.

11:04 All those things communicate that I too am a 10 so she can feel comfortable to toss me her number. And then I texted the next day at 6 PM referencing something that her and I spoke about. I probably accused her of being an ice cream man, which I do to like 80% of chicks. So I probably said something like, Hey, I saw an ice cream truck driving 150 miles per hour down the 405 freeway. I know you're late for the ice cream man convention, but relax, you're going to kill somebody.

11:31 Could have been what I said. But the point is, is that I used all the methods that I share on this podcast, but more importantly, I teach my boys in the coaching program. So that begs the question, but how do I get a 10? Okay. So I've already discussed how it's important that you communicate that you already have 10s in your life. We can do this several different ways. One of which is to tell stories that involve extremely attractive girls. And you kind of allude to it.

11:58 Second thing is pre-selection, which is hanging out with hot girls, like going into a bar, a nightclub and having fricking three nines with you. There's nothing more powerful than that. And number three is having pictures of you doing fun things with hot girls on your Instagram or your Facebook page. So when guys go out and want to meet these really hot girls, you have to have at least one of those three in place, preferably all three as I have, right? I'm very confident. I'm not intimidated by hot chicks.

12:24 Been with a bunch of them. They're not that great guys. You give them way too much credit. I'm going to talk about that in a second too. Secondly, I have hot chicks with me most of the time because I'll admit it. I love hot girls. I love women. They're fucking awesome. I love being around them just like you would too, if you're able. Okay. And the third thing is I communicate it or when I was single, I would communicate through my Instagram page by posting tons of pictures of me doing cool things with hot girls.

12:48 So when you have those three things in place, you can use the most effective way to get a 10 girlfriend. And that is through a campaign. Okay. I've spoken many times about what campaigns are in this podcast, but basically what it is, is it's a repetitious touching, meaning interaction with this girl over a long period of time, building attraction, building trust and connection and letting her know once again, that you're on her level. Say for example, you go to the nightclubs and what I always encourage my boys to do is to put themselves in a situation where they're like the alpha.

13:24 Okay. I know a lot of you guys don't like bars and nightclubs and that's fine, but I'm going to be straight up with you. If you want to fucking 10, like I'm talking like the hottest of the hot bro, you have to be into something where those tens are. Okay. Maybe it's a modeling agency. Maybe you're a photographer and you get to work with these chicks. Maybe it's like a yoga studio where super hot chicks come in, or maybe like I did, it's a nightclub where you roll in with three nines and you see the same chicks every week.

13:50 Or as I did too, I would hold a pregame party at my house and I would invite lots of hot girls to come over. So suddenly I'm the leader of all the hot chicks. The hottest girls want to be with the leader of men and they want to be with the leader of women. So being able to put yourself a of all in a situation where there actually are hot chicks, because you meeting that bonafide 10 in a supermarket who, when you walk in, you almost fall to the floor because she's so ridiculously your type is probably not going to happen.

14:20 It's happened like maybe half a dozen times in my entire life that I've seen a girl is just like exactly my type. And she's just like, whatever, shopping at JCPenney or at the supermarket. But dude, I've seen so many girls that are exactly my type at yoga places, at parties that have models at them, right? At bars and nightclubs that are like top echelon. So we kind of got to get realistic here where you think like Mark Singh is going to teach me the six magic words to just say to the next girl.

14:50 And she's going to jump in the air and slide onto my dick and want to be my wife. You know, it doesn't work that way, man. You need to put yourself in those situations where girls are. But here's the thing. Use that brain matter between your two ears and think about where can I get into a situation where I'm the alpha? Okay. And this is really important. This is the most important thing that you're the alpha in a situation where there's tons of girls. Now, some of you will say, well, I can take a yoga class.

15:20 Are you the alpha? Not necessarily. What's better is you teaching the yoga class or at least putting it on, like putting on a pregame party as I did, or even, and I've had some guys do this, put on like a spiritual festival type of thing or an event in their local city where there's yoga happening and other things happening. And you're like the dude who organized it. The thing about getting really hot girls is it's like an airplane. Okay. It takes a ton of effort to think about what you want to do and how you want to put yourself in that alpha position.

15:49 It takes a ton of effort to get that airplane off the ground. But once it's floating, it pretty much just manages itself. Like the pregame thing that me and my buddy Eric did when I lived in Arizona, every single phone number I'd get that week. I would just invite them to my pregame party. Hey, do you like to go to the bars and nightclubs? They'd say yes. Cause I'd usually meet them at the bars and nightclubs. Or at the time I was gaming girls next to Arizona state university where those college chicks were always down to party.

16:19 Right? So, Hey, do you like to do that? Yeah. Well, we have this pregame. We have drinks there. We got some food. We're all going to go together. And then boys think about it. I walk up with fricking 16 nines, right? 16 is kind of a lot. It was like herding cats. I like to keep it around like nine chicks day at the most me, Eric, maybe one other friend and about nine girls was like, perfect. Dude, you walk up with nine girls to a nightclub or a bar.

16:40 You immediately get in. Usually we'd get a table and we would be the center of attention. I walk in with all these hot chicks. Then I see a goddamn 10 across the bar, which happened many times. I roll up like I'm the man. She knows I'm on her level because I just rolled in with all these girls and they're all laughing at my jokes. They're all looking to me. They can tell that I'm the leader and that's what you need. You need that step up. Now, again, you can do it with just game.

17:05 Your game needs to be as tight as a drum. Like you need to hit method after method after method. You need to be funny, engaging, not thirsty. Body language has to be right. Tonality has to be right. And most importantly, not be intimidated by her hotness. And then you know what to do, man. You treat her just like you would a seven. And I always say, treat women right. But the 80-100 rule, like some of you guys think like, what if I just really know how to say that one thing?

17:31 Or if I'm just really chivalrous, like a freaking flower pops out of my sleeve, or like I do a backflip onto her shoulders and she realizes what a legend I am. Bro, it doesn't work that way. Girls are girls are girls. And that's another thing I want to say to you is we are giving them way too much credit. We are giving them way too much credit for being hot. We think their shit don't stink. We think they're absolutely perfect, but they're not, man. You have to remember, women were kids once.

17:56 She shits her pants. She freaking cries when she's sleeping. She puts on her pants one leg at a time. She throws up. She gets that crust in the side of her mouth. Oftentimes, really hot girls will have bad breath, I've noticed. Okay, so when you give them so much credit, you're doing yourself a disservice because you're putting them above you. And now that goes into your mentality. In order to get a 10, you have to feel like a 10. As I talked about in my recent episode about skyrocketing your confidence, right?

18:27 I want you to feel like you are the goddamn champion. She's lucky to be talking to you. She's privileged to be talking to such a legend. Unless you can feel that way, she's not going to get attracted to you because she can sense that you feel your value is less than hers is. So when we have all these things in place, okay, you feel like a legend, you feel worth it. You have a social circle with hot girls around you and or you put yourself in the alpha position and or you communicate it via Instagram.

18:52 You're constantly going out and being around these super hot girls. So you get used to speaking to them. Once you get in those situations, you're going to be interacting with some ridiculously hot girls. Bro, listen to my words. The next time you're standing there face to face with the goddamn angel, I want you to think two things. First thing is this is a human being. She is not perfect. Just because she's ridiculously attractive doesn't make her perfect. In fact, there's probably a pretty good chance there is some serious flaws with this woman, especially if she's still single.

19:26 Why is she still single? I don't know. Second thing is another girl will come along. So don't play so much neediness and so much outcome dependence on this interaction. Fuck it. Who gives a shit? Say some things to her that you would never say to a 10. I double dog dare you blow your nose in front of a 10. I had a client do this once. He was a spec ops guy, Frank. If you're listening, what is up, man? He's like, dude, when I hired you, I was like, some of the things this guy says, I just can't believe work.

19:56 So he's out with this like solid nine, like this really hot girl. And he's like, I'm going to fucking blow my nose in front of this girl. So he blows his nose in front of her and he turns and he looks at her and she's like smiling, right? He's like ear to ear smile at this dude. And he's like, bro, in that moment, I realized the genius that is Mark Singh. Why would blowing your nose in front of a retardedly hot girl help you out? Because it shows her you don't care.

20:23 And only a guy with tons of options, only a guy who's been with a hundred tens doesn't care about this interaction going good or bad. So again, first thing, she's a human. She shits. She throws up. She's going to be an old hag with boobs hanging down past her belly button in about 50 years. So stop giving her so much credit. Second thing is, if this doesn't go well, who gives a shit? I'm going to have fun with it and I don't care what happens. And I'm the fucking legend dude.

20:50 I'm the 10 in this situation. I'm the hot chick. All right. Now I want to get into the simple fact that these girls are in super high demand and how you're going to blow through the myriad of other schleps that are texting her, DMing her. Like I said, man, it's all about that campaign. You want to be in a situation where you continuously see these girls over and over again. And that's why, and I know a lot of you guys don't like to hear this, but that's why I like the bars and the nightclubs.

21:15 The same girls come to the same bars and nightclubs on the same nights like clockwork. And those of you who do go out to bars and nightclubs, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So you can campaign these chicks. Or if you're in the good situation where you can lead some kind of class, a yoga class, a dance class, a rock climbing class, a scuba diving class, whatever it is that you do, even a self-defense class, which actually Gibbons is highly trained in self-defense. So now he's teaching women's self-defense classes at the local colleges.

21:48 And he is getting tons of play because of that top of funnel idea. So if you can see this girl over and over and over again, you don't even try to get her number or her Instagram until you've built up a lot of attraction. I like to make it so that she's hinting at it. She's like, so what are you doing this weekend? What do you like to do on the weekends? What's your favorite hobby? Are you seeing anybody? Like when I get these kinds of questions, I'm like, all right, it's now time to deploy.

22:13 The problem with most guys is they go for the number, they go for the Instagram too quickly. And they just become that other schlep that she doesn't want to say no to. So she gives her number to them. I have girlfriends and I look at their phone. There's like 180 unread messages. And I'm like, dude, Lindsay, don't you ever check your phone? She's like, I do. But those are like people I met a long time ago that I don't intend to text back. So they will literally pigeonhole dudes.

22:43 They will put them in the side pocket and just not reply to them. And I'll look at these texts from these dudes like, Hey, what's up? What are you doing this weekend? How you been? Saw that Instagram post. You were looking amazing. Like all the wrong shit, right? So what you want to do is even before you get their number, ideally you want to do a campaign. And I'm talking about getting a 10 girlfriend now. Okay. Get her really attracted to you. Show her once again, you got pre-selection, you're in the know, you're the fucking leader, you're a champion.

23:08 Show that pre-selection. Then when the time is right, when she starts hinting at it, yank her phone number, text her the next day at 6 PM. I'm not going to get into texting. You can listen to my texting masterclass. I dropped it like three weeks ago. Exceptionally good episode. I listened to it a couple of days ago. I was like, damn dude, that was a good episode. Strawling suggests that one. Use the principles from that. And then you go on a date with her, use all the principles that I teach both in this podcast, but obviously more importantly, in my three months coaching program, I will teach you to be a freaking assassin on dates with women.

23:41 When you come join my program and then making a girl, your girlfriend is like second thought, bro. Like once they're on the first date, it's over with my techniques and what I teach. Like it's so simple. Like every girl is asking for a second date with my clients by the time they get on the first date. A lot of you guys get on the first date and you can't get a second. It's usually a pretty small thing that we need to adjust mostly because of how thirsty you are.

24:08 You're talking about the wrong kind of content. You're not eliciting emotions in her. You're not making her work for you. Once we adjust your protocol, man, second dates are like, they're suggesting them. And there's the same thing with tens. Tens are regular girls. The only hard thing about tens is just getting them on that first date. Once you get them on that first date and you differentiate yourself from the rest of the thirsty Sahara camels that are coming out of the woodwork, just like begging this girl to be their boyfriend.

24:36 Once you differentiate yourself from the rest of those schleps, it's easy, man. It's like so easy. And then you'll be in a situation where you really do have a 10. Now, my final thought is this, and this actually should have been my first thought, but I'm going to leave you guys with this. You need to get very clear about the kind of girl that you think is a 10. I understand what we think is a 10. Okay. It's like a ridiculously hot girl that you see on Instagram or like Pornhub or wherever you're going and you're like, ooh, that's the exact type.

25:06 And I get it. I'm visual too. Marissa like meets like all these qualifications that I have. But dude, I've met many girls that met those qualifications too. What's the difference? Obviously her soul, her spirit, her heart, her mind. Do I relate to this chick? And here's the one question that I would have you ask before you decide to settle down with the girl, particularly if you decide to marry her. Ask yourself, if I could choose one person to spend the rest of my life with, if I were forced to be on a desert island and I only had to choose one person, who would that person be?

25:40 I feel that if I'm not choosing the girl that I'm going to marry, then she's not the right one for me. And I can say without hesitation that it would be Marissa. And it's just because we work. And there's something to be said about just working, just fitting, something you can't contrive, something you can't learn a bunch of techniques to produce out of thin air. You're going to have to go through tons and tons and tons and tons of girls in order to meet that girl because it's just like the slipper on Cinderella's foot.

26:09 It either fits or it doesn't. And it has to fit in order for you to really get that quote unquote 10 that you and I both know you want. And that comes from quantity. From quantity comes quality. Like I said, when I met Marissa, I was talking to 20, probably 30 chicks, bro. I was going crazy, man. I really wanted to master this stuff. And I was at a perfect place in my life where my game was just like strong, tight, dude. And I went in there and I laid it on using all my techniques and I got that girl.

26:42 But it was because I understood that from quantity comes quality. And because I had quantity, I had tons of chicks. I was dating. I was opening. I was doing top of funnel ideas. I was probably even doing some online stuff. Then when I saw her, I was like, who gives a shit what happens? Yeah, she's exactly my type and super fucking banging, but who cares? She could be a horrible person for all I know. Unfortunately, and very lucky for me, she's not. She has the heart of gold, which was my number one prerequisite.

27:09 And that's what you're going to get to. The way to get a 10 girlfriend is to build the skill set by going after sevens and then building your skill set to get eights, building your skill set to get nines. And then from nine to get tens. Just like anything else, it takes time. It takes reps like you're in the batting cage and you move up incrementally in your skill set and what you're able to attract until you're able to get that 10. And finally, my final, final point, I know I said final point earlier, but this is it, is I want you to become a 10.

27:36 I want you to work on yourself, face your fears, deal with your traumas, your insecurities, your meta programs, your schemas, your archetypes, and your belief systems, and really try to become the best man you can be. Because I want to ask you, what does she get in return? You want that 10, you got to be a 10 yourself, bro. At least you got to feel you're a 10. Because only you decide when you're a 10 and she will go along with it when your belief is strong enough in yourself.

28:03 Gentlemen, I do appreciate your listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. Once again, if you'd like to get on a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, just go to my website, click on coaching, fill in the quick Jesus, slap in the goddamn and you and I will get on that call together. Thank you so much for listening, boys. And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.